ITT: Roast your favorite Pokémon

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>OP's fave is Whiscash

patrician taste

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I saw a sheboon named Raquasha. I felt ashamed.

>>30923030
What do you mean by "roast"?

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>>30923030

>>30923572

aw shit i miss that guy

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pedo stache/10

>>30923508
It's blackanese for "make fun of"

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Ridable Derpasaur/10

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>>30923843
Oh okay then. Well... BANANA SNAKE

>>30923508
It means to destroy someone verbally, Get with the times, Gramps.

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>>30923835
"Quagsire is carefree and sluggish by nature. An unintelligent Pokémon, it tends to bump its head inadvertently while swimming and seems not to care. It hunts for food by leaving its mouth wide open in water and waiting for its prey to blunder in unaware. Because Quagsire does not move, it does not get very hungry and can afford to wait for its food."

Also, great taste.

>>30923030
I would, but Gamefreak did it for me.
>Cursed Body

>>30923030
Fuck, what was the crane's name again, Lofty?

New nickname for Whiscash, THANKS!

>>30923874
I wonder if it raises its tail for whenever it does photosynthesis haha

>>30923572
Wrong site, check e621

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>Rattata used super fang

>>30923982
>Normal/Dark
>Not leading with STAB SE First Impression

You had it coming.

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So Snorlax converted to Buddhism since it was told it could be made one with everything. Boy wasn't it disappointed when it realized they weren't talking about pizza.

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>Geodude used Rock Tomb

>>30923843
Ebonics*

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Need I say more?

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You already know

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Is this a JoJo reference?

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Stupid CalArts noodle arms.

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Angry Fruitloop mascot

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>Literally my moms chewing gum on the sidewalk

>>30923705
>that filename
kek

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>>30923030

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too easy.

this shitter roasts himself just by existing.

>>30924020
sash :)

>>30923950
Ironically enough in doubles I'm finding it more useful this way, putting a disable on moves really fucks up with the opponent there.

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roast me

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>>30924698
;-;

>>30924745
literally your mom.

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>>30924275

Always make me think to this...

>>30924321
HE

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>>30923843

>blackanese

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>>30923835
>>30923924
QUAGSIRE IS DUMB AND DOPEY AND LITERALLY JUST A :) FACE ON A BLUE BLOB

Still my favorite though. Always will be.

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Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door.

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It can't do nothing.

>>30924954
This made me laugh.
And I don't laugh a lot.

>>30923843
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roast_(comedy)
>From 1998 to 2002, the cable channel Comedy Central produced and broadcast the annual roast of the New York Friars Club, with roasts of the celebrities Drew Carey, Jerry Stiller, Rob Reiner, Hugh Hefner, and Chevy Chase.
>blackanese

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Swe-Coon got tissue paper trailing from its asshole.

>>30924901
'S #1

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I always hated how you were good but not quite good enough. ;_;

>>30924659
>Regigigas in bed with Regice
But Regice is practically its children. That's incest.

>>30926349
Nigger arcanine is top fucking tier

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>>30923463
Fuck off

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>guzzlord

>he's not a pokemon

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Chinese Bootleg Toad

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>>30926487
forgot pic

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>We want the Fire Emblem audience

>>30926234
>2002
what? I'm pretty sure they've been doing yearly roasts. Pretty sure there was one this year

>>30924942
>FACE ON A BLUE BLOB
You mean shiny Ditto?

>>30923892
S-Serperior, where are your fancy clothes?

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>>30926381

>>30925004
It's a steel type and one of the coolest Pokemon in existence and also a steel type.

>>30923030
Unfortunately, Beldum is the perfect Pokemon with no flaws. It's impossible to say anything negative about it.

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>>30926565
>Ghost types

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>>30926545
Pretty much. Tell me who this zoomed in face is. Protip: You can't.

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gen3 sprite was cool as heck tho how could they fuck up this much
my poor child

>>30926533
They have, it was just a nice copy paste with a lot of white people.

>>30926586
Tentaquil

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>>30926510
They got it

>>30923892
...I never knew I had this fetish until now.

>>30926587
Marshtomp looked infinitely better in its artwork in sprites. I'm not a "3D MODELS ARE SHIT ABLU BLU BLU" person, but Marshtomp is one of the ones that legitimately got fucked over.

>>30924096
That's a horrible joke. Like, atrocious.

>>30926650
*artwork and sprites

Whoops

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cereal mascot lookin ass bara furbait funnyface luchadar headass bitch

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>seven
>fucking
>weaknesses
>>30926655
>not posting Gyarados with that reply
Come on anon.

>>30923508
>>30923843
https://youtu.be/-E5mcLp3nSA

>>30926693

That's stupid

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It has no practical applications, nothing that even gets close.

Besides op everyone sucks at roasting. Jesus Christ

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>>30926706
>watermark

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>>30926714
Gyarados is the Atrocious Pokemon and even has a perfect disgusted-looking sprite.

>>30926724
Contrary says hi

>>30926741
t. OP

>>30923835
inaccurate representation of downs

>>30924321
>
Is life just one big joke with no punchline?

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>Watchog used Super Fang

>>30926786
I refuse to believe anyone unironically likes watchog. I absolutely refuse.

>>30924745
bitch imma gonna need mt chimney in order to roast your jupiter-sized ass

>>30926756
>With 60 base speed and no way to increase it besides choice scarf.

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>>30926288

>>30926809

His favorite was golisopod

He Was saying Watchog unironically since Super Fang cuts your health in half

>>30926813
Finallllly yassss

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ITS JUST A YELLOW HUMAN SET ON FIRE

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Dictionary definition of "It literally gets bigger"

>>30926565
>only has Take Down
>literally an amputated forearm of Metang
>or a dildo

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>pidgey used gust

>>30924745
Aborted Totoro

>>30926584
>>30926927
Beldum is NOT for battle! It's for hugging and cherishing their rugged bodies, while at the same time admiring and questioning how such a beautiful creature could exist the same time as yourself. and using as a dildo

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Since when do weasels have feathers

Your evolution consists of simply growing "feather hair"

Atleast with ampharos it was a mega evolution

>>30926990
fuck off, Steven

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He got so fucking fat he can't even float any more.

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>>30924561

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>>30926756
>60 base stats in every stat
>New Grass type gets a similar combo, and an actual egg move that can do the same thing with more power

>>30926809
Read the gay ass file name

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From day one.

No pre-evolutions, no evolutions. Born perfect.
Until his mega, which is still one of the better ones.

Fuck yeah Stag Beetles.

>>30927235
>Vagina mouth

>>30927255
More like blender mouth
All the better for angrily screaming
Put dick inside if you dare

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outside of a one spin off no one cares for it

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chucky lookin ass get the fuck outta here baka

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>>30923030
He's got Ice Punch, Avalanche, ROCKET FIST, and he still goes down to Sceptile. The guy needs rain just to keep up.

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>>30923030

>>30927386
Mega Swampert would've joined the chicken in ubers if he got sap sipper.
whatcould'vebeen.jpg

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>>30927386
>has literal aqua jets on its body
>doesn't learn Aqua Jet

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>>30927729
>It throws punches by expelling water backwards out of its arm gill things

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>Pure Psychic-type
>a tap on the forehead blows it the fuck out

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>most powerful move it can learn isn't stab and can't hit ghosts

Feelsbadman

>>30927924
How much would Noivern want Aerilate? Or is that too low-hanging meme material in terms of abilities?

>>30927956
Aerialate Boomburst would be broken af

>>30928105
Not if >Snorunt used Ice Shard! :^)

>>30923950
>having a boring simple purple blob with a face as your favorite pokemon, when there's over 700 to choose from
you deserved to be disappointed

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If this thing is shown in any form other than gliding idly, he looks really bad.

Can't stand, can't walk, can't eat. Can barely swing around it's upside down claws.

>>30928297
I hated when I learned that its wings aren't an extension of the skin of its arms like a real bat, but basically just a cape. I still think it's a cool Pokemon though, but you're pretty much on the nose.

>>30927729
but anon, waterfall is much better physical water move

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>>30923030

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>>30923030
>Spider
>6 Legs

>>30928478
>bug type, not spider type

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Too busy roasting these bad bois

>>30926886
*furry

>>30928561
No, dumbass, typhlosion isn't furry
Infact, if you want to fuck it you are not a furfag

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>shuckle used infestation!

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>>30923030

Done.

>>30926693

the fuck is that

>>30928588
>Infact, if you want to fuck it you are not a furfag

Anon, is there something you want to tell us?

>>30928790
Yeah that they're retarded

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>>30928478

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Tfw your main stab options are 90 accuracy. For fucks sake I want to use mega metagross in battle tree but its not worth the risk.

>>30929484

90 accuracy is still good

Atleast compared to a move like Stone edge

80 accuracy just for a 100

>>30929484
Not only that...
>Zen headbutt
>90 accuracy
>Hammer Arm
>90 accuracy

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>>30923463

>>30929659
>90% accuracy
>in bright tree

>>30926418
Calm down, Raquasha.

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It's not even good among shitmons.

>>30928075
I'm reminded of Mickey's scene in Fantasia

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>>30926907
Why would you name your Feraligatr after my penis?

>>30927255
*vagina dentata mouth

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roasted

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>Explosion nerfed in gen 5
>gained weaknesses in Dark and Ghost in gen 6

>>30923705
swampert's my fave fucking kek

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>>30923030
"remember us 3rd gen fossils?"
"g-guys"

>>30929968
Which of these is your favorite?

>>30929484
In ORAS, you can tutor Iron Head to it

>>30929684
why is it so fucking hard being a physical mon?

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>>30930041

>>30930058
I don't know, maybe GF is too intelligent to use physical mons that have to rely on plebian physical contact moves.

>>30929946
>only viable niche is trick room ;_;

>>30929821
aww..

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>Everyone uses it for its viability, I use it because it's my favorite
>I never get to use it without being called a metafag

>>30929946
reminder Aegislash did this

>>30924954
gave me a good laugh

>>30929968
But Absol is absolutely benevolent, just misunderstood.

>>30930080
Ah. The edgy hipster choice, of course. Not as popular as the others, but just as DeviantArt tier.

I think it's pretty cool, myself, to be honest.

>>30930078
eyes say fuck me
shape of the head says failed abortion

>>30930123
Nice shiny, now post regular Garchomp.

Why has no one roasted the mon I personally hate suckle

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Anorexia is a serious condition.

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You know what I don't like about this thing? It's just a fucking manta ray. That's it. They drew a real life manta and made it cartoony. Seriously, it looks like someone took my mom's manta ray and put it in the game.

Older pokemon actually had personalities to them. They had quirks that separated them from actual animals. This thing? It's. Just. A. MANTA.

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>>30930183
if only we got persian ft. purple hair dye

>>30927013
>>30924796
>Nurf based ghost in a time when we need him the most what with Tapus and high jump cockroach running rampant

>>30930242
>Whenever he sees utensils he has the urge to bend them with his mind instead of using them properly.
It all makes sense now.

>>30930265
that looks worse than big headed persian

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>>30930232
right

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>>30924096
This shit is so bad it made me laugh out loud.

As for my favorite,
>bullet punch

>>30929659
no it's not
pokemath is fuckin stupid
i've missed meteor mash more than i've hit it
90% = 25% apparently

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>>30923030
IIRC Flareon is also the only fully-evolved Fire-type who doesn't learn Solar Beam.

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I cannot stand its in-game cry

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>>30930123
What colour do you want your pseudo f.a.m?

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L I G H T N I N G R O D

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>>30930571
I know that feel.
>[Pokemon] used [physical attack that's mildly powerful that gets STAB]!
>being associated with total autists

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I can throw some cheap shots at Yanmega, but it's otherwise just too cool.

I guess
>muh stealth pebbles
and
>can't learn fly even though pokedex says it can carry an adult

>>30930789
FWAA-FWAA-FWAAAAAAAH

>>30930980
I still wish it had been bug/dragon instead bug/flying

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If the opponent remembers the ability on this little guy and doesn't need to switch out to deal with it, he's going down in one hit.

>>30926587
ANOTHER MARSHTOMP BRO
OMFG YESSS
THIS IS THE MOST PERFECT MOMENT!

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>King and Queen
>Can't breed

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I would roast my nigga but he has thick fat

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>>30929723

>>30930789
>>30931010
Real foxes aren't terribly majestic either: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6NuhlibHsM

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>>30932060
>1:02

>>30923705
Grass will come out of nowhere and kill you

>>30924369
Look at it's face, he's literally a Mega Man character
I still love the big guy.

>>30932060
I like to go outside my neighbors house and givem the ol' vixen scream from time to time myself.

>>30929905
lewd

>>30924369
I like Chesnaught but I despise the dopey-looking pose on his model in-game.

>>30926587
Marshtomp always had awkward teenager syndrome. It never looked good.

>>30928486
yeah i guess its name being a portmanteau of aqua and arachnid was just a coincidence

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>>30930789
>Not loving delphox's cry

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>>30927921
Espeon is so perfect.

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>Pointed stones dug into Volcarona

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What do I win?

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>>30928075

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Did I maybe take this one too literally?

>>30923892
LEWD

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We Slav now

>>30928343
Priority over power when it comes to slowmons

>>30932251
PK is a treasure.

>>30923841
cannot be unseen

>>30930282
It wasn't really a balance thing as it was an it's-not-actually-levitating thing

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It's a Dark One;Run,Artyom.

If you scan a Bad Dragon QR code, you get Hydreigon

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>>30932419
Same problem with the entire line. This thing has the potential to look cute, but looks like a dough boy with his arms out for all the variants that aren't Quilladin.

>>30929689
Fugdor

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>>30923030
My poke caused a shit storm on /V/

The birth of /VP/

>>30923843
>>>>/pol/

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>>30926809
Watchog's my favourite Pokemon, its design is great and it has a nice shiny variant

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>>30923841
My favourite too, Ballchinian lookin ass

>>30933236
>liking Delphox in any form, shape or way.

>>30934736
:]

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Ovenmitt hands

>>30934964
Lucario must have corrupted so many innocent kids. Now they lust for aura doge

>>30935333
Also has a pretty awful model for its normal form

>>30935333
Dear Strong Bad,

How do you type with oven mitts on your hands?

Love,
Marowak

>>30923841
Why did you do this?

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>>30924723
Aqua Jet

>>30923982
>>30924020
>>30924723
>>30935470

TOP KEK

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>>30923030
I would, but I don't think he could take it.

>>30934964

>Spiky chest
You gonna stick in him before he sticks in you

>>30928478
Ariados said hi five gens ago.

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>>30924698
>Thought that it has 2 more buttons hiding behing his white fur
>3d model reveals that he only has only a bottom one
Why ?

>>30923463
There's was a black girl in my dorm who's name was always hard to pronounce, so I just called her Rayquaza

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>>30923030
Boy I hope someone doesn't outspeed me.

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DUDE WEED LMAO

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>>30933892
DELET THIS

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Your trainer probably uses you to scratch lottery tickets

>Loves Lucario
>Lucario in the final team of edgelord Emo character AKA Crawling in my skin

>>30929905
>becomes water
>Magcargo also dies

>>30935603
Kek

>>30926724
I used it on my baton pass team gen 5 since it was the only spinner who got baton pass. I also gave it trick and choice scarf because who wouldnt set up on spinda.

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>used hi-jump kick!
>kept going and crashed!
>U-turn!

repeat

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>>30934964

>>30926565
>literally just an inanimate object
>not even "inanimate object with a face", just some gears that happen to be moving on their own
>coolest pokemon in existence

You were supposed to roast the pokemon, not yourself.

>>30926511
Kek, is this shiny chomp?

>>30928486

There are 79 Bug types. Arceus, Silvally and megas not included.
6 of them are based on spiders.
5 of them are based on bugs. As in, True Bugs. Hemiptera order.

Your point is...?

>>30930282
>Wally is using EQ Scarfchomp
>"Gengar is immune to ground!"
>Completely forget about cursed body
Th-thanks GF

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>"Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies!"

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>>30935735
you know why anon

>>30931874
At least he doesn't need to run protect anymore thanks to the mega evolution speed changes. Still the most cucked mega evolution in history.

>Be Absol
>Get magic bounce evo and a great speed tier
>Everything is ok
>ORAS are released
>Mega Sableye and Mega Diancie
>curl into a ball and cry

>>30940631
>he

>>30940657
okay you got me, I am super autistic and only raise females

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>>30930571

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>>30926419
>Fairly Odd Parents

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I can't think of anything. He's just too perfect.

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>blackface tranny

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>has one of the strongest hidden ability in the game
>still NU

>>30934953
the fuginator

>>30942252
>Physical electric type
>Has to rely on inferior physical electric when special electric attacks work fine with little to no drawbacks.

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This was really funny to me

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Can't roast a chicken twise

>>30935603
Oooph.

>>30934810
Underrated