ITT: We pretend we live in the Pokemon world

>>30890754
>Can't walk three steps without facing a Pokemon battle

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>tfw your rotom ruins your computer by screwing around with it's files.

I thought these were booted from /vp/.

>>30891099
Not anymore.
I just need the link to the discord

>>30890754
>Kanto flith infecting every region of the world

Purge when

Their slime is in our fucking sewers

>>30890754
>discord

They are literally collecting your information and selling it. You'd have to be s complete retard to use it/get tricked into using it by shills.

>>30891068
>want to show my Magnamite a funny pic online
>it gets near the computer and permanently scrambles the screen

>>30891150
Not OP but I will stop using it when it actually becomes a problem.

>>30891291
>I'll walk out of a burning cottage when I see the fire on my arm
This is how dense you sound.

>>30890754
anyone knows how to take care of an espurr? i got forced one onto me by my sick grandpa and now my paranoia tells me i am going to die for real.

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>>30891345
Then we have been in burning cottages the first time because if you think Discord is far from the first thing to sell people's info.

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>>30890754
so, who here got /PermissionToTouchTheFluffyTail/ ?

it's pretty awesome

>>30891389
Just make sure you don't fuck with it's ears, and you'll be fine

https://discord.gg/twtW8

>>30891068 #
I've always wondered: who is the better poke-AI, porygon or rotom?

>>30890857 #
Either build a proper pathway/road, get some repel, or at least fucking trim your grass

>love hiking and exploring
>try to join the local division of the Kalos Hiker's Club
>get turned down because I don't have any rock or ground types
Great system you've got there, guys

>>30892047
Just catch one

How do I become an Ace trainer?

>>30892492
To become an ace trainer, you must git gud. That's the essence of all ace trainers.

>>30892002
You wanna repost that, partner?

>>30892792
https://discord.gg/2eu4m

After a bit of an attempted raid, we used this old, underused alt chat of mine as sort of an antechamber.

>>30892863
Not him, but do you shucks have a PMD counterpart? Would hop aboard too if so. Link expired though.

>>30893356
I'll post it tomorrow, it's dead hours right now

>>30893448
Hell, post it anyway. Thread might be gone by then if it ain't bumped, and I can bide my time until then.

>>30893467
https://discord.gg/MdXws

Anyone know how much Noibat eggs go for?

I've saved up quite a bit over the summer farming Berries. Hoping I can get ahold of one before Christmas.

Does anyone know how to properly raise a Solosis because mine just looks sad all the time.

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>>30893595
give it lots of love and beans!

>>30891099
They are. It'll be deleted as soon as mods see this.

>>30892046
>Rotom
>>>>>>>AI
Are you autistic?

>>30892047
>Hiking
>Without Ground and Rock-types

>>30894698
That's like wanting to be a Swimmer without a water type

I suspect Pokémon abuse going on next door. What do I do? It sounds like somebody beating up their lillipup.

>>30896589
So instead of notifying the authorities, you're asking what to do on a Kalosian message board?

>>30896707
Yeah desu idk how the procedure goes down, and I want some advice on who exactly to call.

I just saw a fuckin Arceus believer in the streets, fucking faggot. Why not wear stylish hats and worship the true God Rayquaza?

>>30896719
Just find a cop or a Gym Leader. Fuck the procedure. Just tell them you think a Pokemon might be being beaten up.

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Johtofag back again. Pic related is mine now after a quick skirmish... he seems to have taken to being indoors pretty well, but I think he goes out at night and steals shit to bring home to me.

When it was a Potion or two, I thought he was just getting into the medicine chest and being nosey, but when he brought a Great Ball to me, I knew something was wrong, 'cause I never bought any of those. What do?

>>30897230
Look. If it's just things like potions and great balls, don't worry about it. The kind of trainers who use those sort of things regularly will never notice if a few go missing. It's perfectly healthy behavior for your Zigzagoon, as long as it doesn't get caught.

>>30897666
I mean, I'm not above having my Meowth (my other pet 'mon) make a few extra coins to help make ends meet every now and then (or to get him a treat when money's a little tighter), but I'd think there'd be a bit of a difference between that and being an outright thief, and I'm not sure I'd want anything to do with that.

Any way I can break or redirect Zigzagoon's item-stealing habit so he doesn't get me into trouble? I'd rather not be hauled down to the station to explain his actions if he steals from a bean-counting trainer if I can help it.

>>30890754
https://discord.gg/wdSW6BK
dont ban me mods

>>30891150
>implying Google does not do that either

>>30891150
where is your source

>Sitting with my sweetheart in a cafè
>Things are going great, we are both really lovey-dovey
>About to pop 'the question'
>Get on one knee and look up at her
>Accidently make eye-contact
>Suddenly, pokèmon battle
>Barely beat her with my Heracross
>Cafe is in shambles
>Things are super awkward
>Go home in complete silence

What do, guys?! How do I fix this?!

>>30899547
wear some very dark sunglasses next time

>>30899027
He didn't say anything about Google you doofus

>>30899547
Don't take your Pokemon the next time you try to propose

My Whimsicott keeps on flying away when it's windy, any tips?

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>>30891150
>WAAAAAAAAH EVERYTHING IS A BOTNET DON'T DO ANYTHING
please just kill yourself

>>30902390
Iron Ball for out of battle?

>>30902501
Now it's just rolling along the ground.

>>30890754
Why is nimbasa city so terrible? Who thought it was a good idea to have a desert right between the best city and that shitty runway town?

>>30894624
Keep it moist by spraying it with water every 6 hours, but don't use tap water. Feed it 20 grams of poke kibbles every day. Remove its slime daily to prevent it from spilling all over, or train it to use the toilet when it sheds slime.

I prefer my Klinklang, though. It only needs to eat the occasional spoon of iron dust, and the occasional sugary treat to maintain its steel body. Furthermore, it's better than Magneton because it doesn't screw up electronics just by being near them.

>>30903263
What type of water should I use, then?

>>30902447
kek

btfo, good shit anon

>>30903292
Bottled water or purified water.

>>30903292
You could just keep your room moist with a humidifier, if you're kinda lazy.

>>30902776
Apparently, Reshiram blazed it a thousand years ago and the heat still remains til today.

Where the fuck are the gyms in Alola? I've been looking around for hours and everyone I ask at the port says they have no clue.

Is Poni Island just an uninhabited wasteland or something?

>>30899547
I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!

>>30903617
Alola has no gyms man, they have this thing called the island trial that stars on Melemele Island I think. They just got a league too.
Also don't expect there to be anything on Poni Island, that place is pretty bare except for a few places.

>>30891414

>companies have been doing this on the internet for decades that means it's okay!!

Silvally has responded to treatment well as of late. Toucannon has been extremely therapeutic and helped make alot of progress.

After I can get the rest of my other pokemon through customs sometime next year Im sure he'll respond quite well to them. If I play my cards right even my Weavile.

Also my cousin quit the Aether Foundation

>>30901523
>Don't take your Pokemon
and this is why you only have 2 badges

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my bayleef tends tends to get really inquiet when i get near other pokemon,why is that reason for her actions and is there a way to remedy that, because sometimes she tends to get violent with my other pokemon

>>30902390
Whimsicott are actually very adept at moving with the wind. Unless he or she just evolved, then they should have enough control to not go too far.


Now, they tend to be pretty mischievous, so it might be a matter of yours messing with you.

>>30903999
I evolved it a few days ago. How long should it take until it can control how far it goes?

Also, it sometimes gets more fluff than usual. Is there any reason why?

>>30902447
>lol just give in to big brother its not like you have rights lmoa
Retard.

>>30903447
God reshiram is a faggot. We have this nice fucking city and when people leave they get sand in their eyes. Wish we still had join avenue

Do antidotes work on humans, or would taking medicine made for Pokemon be a bad idea? My Gengar just accidentally poisoned me and I'm kinda not sure what I'm supposed to do now. Please reply quickly, I don't mean to rush you but while I've been typing here I've already lost all feeling in my legs.

>>30904272
Sure. "Accidentally."
And no, it's formulated specifically for Pokemon, call a damn ambulance already.

>>30904272
Get to a hospital. Taking an Antidote could work, but I wouldn't recommend it, since it was designed with Pokémon in mind.

>>30904046
It took Eunice (my Whimsicott) about three weeks after evolution to get it down, though once I realized it was a documented issue, we actively trained. After that, unless it was really windy, she wouldn't blow away on her own accord.

As usual, though, it depends on the pokemon. And as for the fluff, it comes and goes. I'd recommend saving any shed fluff-- in the right hands, it makes for good clothing material.

Bros, don't tell anyone but last night I fucked with my Gardevoir.
It was hot.

>>30904442
>Wants to keep it quiet
>Tells the whole 'net

Tapu Keko

>>30904442
I've already called the International Police, they're coming for you

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>>30904530
This is the International Police, what is your emergency?

Also, does anyone have any experience with the Sandygast line? I've recently acquired one, and while it seems to be doing well, it's hard to tell what's going through it's mind.

>>30904552
Last time I checked there wasn't any law against interspecies sex!

Might as well try with my Lopunny tonight, those legs go all the way up.

>>30904581
What you want to do is stick your hand right into it's mouth. It's the ultimate sign of trust for Sandyghasts.

>>30904442
You do know that Gardevoir shares more in common with Muk, Chandelure, and Magcargo than anything else that remotely resembles a human, right?
That was probably a respiratory orifice you jammed your dick into, but it's too attached to say no.

So I was going on a walk innawoods with my gf, when this blue axlotl-lookin' fucker smacks her ass! I don't know how he did it with no arms, but he did. And she was blushing and everything, but she didn't even say "Hey!" or any shit like that. I was about to punt him into the distance when he did it again, and she fuckingnmoaned.
Long story short she's his gf now
How the fuck do I even compete? I mean, I even have arms and everything and he can still use Dynamic Punch and I can't

>>30904963
It would be more like putting it into a gooey mess.

>>30905153
>blue axlotl-lookin' fucker
Now, there's a few of those, but the only thing I can think of with no arms is a Wooper.
I don't know how you lost your girl to a literal baby, but maybe you should find someone else.

Or you could pull up some grass and wave that at it, that should drive it off.

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napkin

>>30890754
uh...a question i'm sick and I'm looking for a hospital but, there's not hospitals on any town/city on my region, can a brain tumor cure itself?

>>30906789
No

>>30908572
well shit.... can a berry cure a brain tumor?

>>30908862
no

My Electabuzz and I went for a walk today and when we got home he was itching like crazy, found a bunch of Joltiks in his fur. What's the best way to get rid of them?

>>30908930
Try rubbing your Electabuzz's fur with a rock, softly. Joltiks hate rocks.

>>30908930
A properly grounded bird Pokemon will be able to pick them off too.

>>30908881
can Arceus cure a brain tumor?

>>30908862
Dude, you're going to die. Make peace with your friends and family and get your affairs in order.

>>30908930
You could try putting him in a big box full of empty pokeballs, and see if the joltik wind up getting caught off of him. Alternatively, if you live near an electric gym you could ask them for assistance.

I see a lot of people posting questions on this forum so I figure here's as good as place to any to admit it, we're all Anon here right?

So, I may have talked up my trainer game a bit... I've got my grandma's Druddigon, who I always thought was too lazy to be worth a damn. It's still pretty cool to show off to all the Youngsters and Preschoolers though. One asked me if I was a dragon trainer and if I could train his Gabite for him...

I said yes, stupidly, and now the two of them are constantly fighting and destroying everything. Putting them in their Pokeballs doesn't help because they refuse to stay in them! I don't wanna own up and admit I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, so how the hell do I get Dragon-types to tolerate each other? Or at least stop smashing furniture and piling it up around the house. I'm worried the next time one gets loose my computer will end up on the heap!

>>30890754
hi, I have a problem every time I want to ride the stationary bike on the gym I go to, a old man's voice tells me that I can't do that here, guys I'm freaking out, I went to a psychologist and he has no Idea what's wrong with me, can you help me I'm going to suicide if I hear that voice again

>>30909513
kill urself

>>30909513
Normally, I'd say to keep them separate until they're both well trained enough to respect your authority. HOWEVER, Dragons are hard enough to train, and accepting that Gabite without knowing what you were getting yourself into tells me that you're really not qualified to be doing this at all. Swallow your damn pride and give it back to the kid. If he's got something like a Gabite at such a young age his parents must be either very rich or VERY stupid, so they can probably afford to hire a real dragon trainer.

>>30909513
I read this twice and it took reading >>30909860
to realize it was a Gabite and not a Gible. The biggest problem with Gabite is that they think they're Garchomp, and aren't as easily satiated into stupefaction like Gible. Regardless, until you return the Gabite (as you should!) you could try spraying some Florges Nectar on your stuff, to delineate things you want them to stay away from.

>>30909513
Go to your nearest gym IMMEDIATELY.
You're also a fucktard.

Several of the more feral normal-, fighting-, fire-, well, the more beastly pokemon, will insist on fighting each other to establish an order of dominance. A pecking order.
Dragon types also do this, but they're also insane and proud and insane.

If you really can't get them to a gym, >>30909860 or let them duke it out away from your town.
If you have a death wish, you can try to establish yourself as the leader. Go stand on a rock, make yourself look big, and yell at them. Your Druddigon knows you, he might let you have it, but the Gible doesn't. The Gible might try to tackle you.
If a local kid had him, he shouldn't be too strong, you might be able to grab it and sit on it. If everything goes *perfectly* Druddigon might take him for you, but it could also be a bit too excited from everything going on and attack you too.
In that case, well, in that case you're dead bucko.

>>30909962
Oh, it's a Gabite? Shit.

>>30910006 here, drop that fucker and run.

Is there a way to reattach the ball thingies on Skitty's tail? My little brother was playing with it and pulled them off, and now our Skitty has been nibbling at her tail.

>>30910095
If she didn't bleed when it happened, nor give your brother the business for being a dingus, then I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume they're just weird hair things and will grow back.

So, my Gyarados has been acting really strange the last few days. For a few days in a row, he'll freeze a tree with Ice Fang, and then shatter it. Other than that, he seems to be in okay spirits-- he's not sluggish, or overly hungry, or moody. It's bizarre. He's never done this before. Any help?

>>30910365
Did he lose to a grass type recently? Or at all? My only other guess is that he's helping you build up firewood for the oncoming winter, but that's a little bit more considerate than most Gyarados I've heard of.

>>30910496
I mean, he lost a battle recently, but that's never gotten him down before. He is a huge softy though, so it might be him trying to help in some way. Though I don't have a fireplace, so it can't be that.

>>30910365
How long has it been since he's battled last?
How much exercise do you give him?
Do you have a permit for that Gyarados?
What kind of environment do you keep him in?

What the fuck guys. My sister just came home in tears. She said some dude offered to 'show her new O-powers' or something and brought her to a dark room. He then started touching her indecently. Luckily for my sister, she has a Kadabra and managed to teleport away, but she's still really shaken by that. The dude's name was... Mr. Bonding? Something like that.

Anyone have any info on that guy? He's not in the Kalos police database, apparently, but I'd be more than happy to hunt him down myself.

>>30910565
In order, it's been a week, I take him to the ocean to swim once a day, I spent a solid three days getting the permits when he evolved, and I normally keep him in the rather deep lake by my place (I live just outside of Aspertia City).

>>30910596
Oh god that guy. He tried to do the same shit to me but my flygon got me out of there quickly.

Find him and make him suffer.

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Guys, I can't leave my house. This thing is on my porch and attacks me when I attempt to leave

Help me

>>30910756
Just wait until some Pidgey kicks its ass with gust.

>>30910756
Ugh, these things.
Do you know any bodybuilding poses?
Start doing them right as you leave, and keep going through all of them as you go. Throw in some exercises too, lunges and pushups.
It's apparently how they communicate; it might confuse it long enough for you to get out of its line of sight.

>>30910596
I've, uh... met him before, but nobody really knows who or what he is. Some people even think he's an alien. Yeah he's a creep and a weirdo, but I hesitate to call him a straight up bad guy. Meeting with him is more like a deal than anything. He gets to have his "fun" for a few minutes and in exchange you get powers that can tip things in your favor, things like finding more money, getting exclusive deals at shops, making you luckier when trying to catch Pokemon, things like that.

Yeah, it's really degrading, but being able to get huge discounts on my entire purchase whenever I go out to buy things makes me feel less disgusted with myself

>>30910596
>>30910897
Do you have any more details on this "Mr. Bonding" guy?

>>30911046
Look, I can't sell him out. Honestly? He scares me. He can be anywhere, at any time, and I'd rather not get on his bad side. If I told you anything about him, he would know that I talked.

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Is it wrong to smoke pot around pokemon? I wanted to ask a nurse at the pokemon center, but i was too ashamed... My slopoke doesnt seem to mind, I just dont want to hurt him....

>>30911046
He's bald and wears a pink suit. Rumor has it he broke out of prison in Hoenn and is hiding out in motels in Kalos, but no one can be too sure. They say he appears, the lights go dark, then leaves in a flash.

>>30911388
A prison?
Or a prison bottle?

>>30911368
You goddamn stoner, how hard is it to just recall your pokemon until you're finished? Feed them first if you're worried you'll forget otherwise. Luckily Slowpoke are pretty resilient pokemon, and anything they pick up from your lackadaisical will probably get flushed next time you take him in for a checkup.

>>30911368
You *shouldn't,* but something the size of slowpoke should be OK.
It's not good got bug and other smaller pokemon.

Just, sheesh, open a window. It's not hard.

Fresh milk, 200 p a bottle!

special deals for ghost type trainers.

Oh shit! hey guys it's been awhile, so how's everyone doing?

>>30911695
How special are these deals? I buy a lot of milk and it would be nice if I could get it cheap.

I fucked my Eevee and now its anus is bleeding, is it going to die?! I am literally in tears right now.

>>30911471
i hate leaving him the ball. He always looks happiest when he's got his tail in the water and flopped over on the bank. I just don't want anything bad to happen to my best friend.
>>30911501
Im always outside when I smoke and thank you both for your advice

>>30911695
I'm not a ghost trainer, per se, but I've got a Sandygast. Do I count?

>>30911695
I'm not a ghost trainer, per se, but I'm a ghost. Do I count?

>>30912140
hmm. get around 3 more and well talk.

>>30912077
im glad you asked. a dozen for the price of one. is that a good price?

>>30912184
what do you need milk for silly?

>>30911695
BEGONE, FOUL TEMPTRESS

>>30912077
Dont do it dude. Way way back in these threads, (Like several months ago), a ghost trainer bought milk off a hex maniac. She got really sick and eventually her gengar took over posting for her.
If you're a ghost trainer, the milk they sell you jsut converts you into a hex maniac.

>>30912330
heey! you remember me!
i didnt get that sick, dont play it up.
i dont see whats wrong with the recruitment method either. trainers of specific types got to stick together.

>>30912288
>what do you need milk for silly?
I just enjoy a good deal.

>>30912113
Pokemon Rangers have been contacted. I hope you had a nice life.

>>30911285
I know how you feel. I don't want him to hurt my family.

HELP

>>30912288
A dozen for the price of one sounds like a damn good deal. I just have one concern: if >>30912330 is telling the truth, and drinking it turns you into a Hex Maniac, well, first of all that doesn't seem entirely safe? And second, I'm male, so is that gonna be a problem, or does that mean I can safely ignore the side effects?

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>>30904442
...i once masturbated my lurantis, at leat i think i did...

felt kind of like shit afterwards tho, but she didn't.
am i gonna get my head eaten if i go any further?

>>30912330
fuck off with that pokepasta bullshit
the most you'll get is tittymilk, joys are the ones who do this kind of shady shit.

>>30913103
i did this with my tsareena and she just looked extremely disappointed in me...but that made me even harder

>>30913251
that's what you get for attempting to sexual with a plant type

>>30910756
do you lift anon?
because i think it'll leave you alone if you show it you're swole enough

>>30912633
everything he says is technically true.

>not entirely safe
well its enough body altering chemicals and black magic to drop a tauros, silly. it should be fine though. we havent had any accidents yet.

>male
either your a union certified hex maniac, or your not. what can i say?

>>30913499
But what if you are lactose intolerant?

>>30913541
thats.... a very good question.

im gonna make a phone call. hold tight.

>>30913541
I feel like someone who's lactose intolerant isn't going to be buying any milk anyway.

I'm having sexual thoughts about some of my Pokémon
What do

>>30913251
no dude you don't understand
my lurantis seems to WANT this

and my body is telling me yes so fucking hard, but my mind is telling me "oh shit nigga don't do it she'll eat your fucking head"

>>30913580
She's a grass type don't sweat it

>>30913554
okay, if you fly out to kanto, the grand high coven mother is willing to try a pure black magic conversion, no milk needed.

>>30913559
we all do, but what pokemon

>>30913613
You should really think about a non-milk based method.
Not everyone can make a trip all the way out to Kanto.

>>30891150
anon do u think I give a shit if discord sells my information to big corporate? I use an ad blocker.

>>30913679
weve never run up against this before. a ghost trainer, who wants to become coven certified, and is lactose intolerant, is pretty unlikely.

although it occurs to me, since the change overwrites your entire body (minus your brain) to fit a pre set template, wouldn't it take the intolerance away?

>>30913602
im about to do it
im scared but also fully erect

>>30913667
I know this will probably sound cliche, but it's braixen.
I'm trying to ignore it, but I'm almost to the point where I can't…
I swear the other day I had a dream about her sucking me off or something

>>30913499
Are there any actual benefits to being a certified Hex Maniac as opposed to a regular ghost-type trainer? That discount is good but that seems like a pretty huge side-effect.

>>30913811
youd seriously sell away your physical appearance for a discount on milk?
the reason we discount it is to get people into the club.

>>30913810
does she seem to want it too?
if not, she'll bite your dick off if you try anything

>>30913891
I can't tell for sure. Sometimes she'll wander into the bathroom while I'm bathing and get in so I can wash her. It wasn't awkward when she was a fenmekin, but now…
I notice myself washing her more near her butt/crotch area, and I'm sure she's noticed the boners. Not 100% sure if she knows what they mean, though. I feel pretty clueless.

>>30913811
oh you also asked about benefits! let me give you the full pitch! ahem...

do you shun social gatherings in favor of running around in the woods trying to catch ghastly's?
when the other children avoided the dilapidated house at the end of the road, did you go sit in the basement of it and draw pictures of the pokemon who lived there?
if so, then The sisterhood of the purple flame may be right for you!
The worlds largest society of ghost type trainers, founded 1000 years ago by the grand high coven mother herself, the sisterhood boasts hundreds of members, and is always recruiting!
if you join, you can look forward to:
>a brand new you, minted in the image of our most lovely lady of darkness (when she was younger, of course)
>a warm bed in the cavern of the purple flame, home to the dark library, pokemon sparring grounds, the underground hot springs, and trivia night every friday at the ChandeLounge.
>the wisdom of the coven mother, whenever you need guidance
all that and more! so leave your application letter in the burnt out stump two miles outside lavender town, or just buy the "special discount" from one of our many organization fundraisers.

stay spooky!

>>30913799
rip anon
this is why you find a mate for your lurantis, wait for the phonecall from the daycare saying that it ate the mate's head, and then take over from there

>>30913959
Not trying to attention whore, but does anyone have advice?
Should I aim for kisses, and just work my way up?
I think I may try that if no one gives any better advice
I feel so dirty

Sometimes when I'm bored at my job, I replace the Safari balls with painted rocks.

>>30914395
if you put your dick in Braixen, you got burned.

>>30913842
I feel like you're seriously underestimating just how much milk I buy. I owe a massive amount of money to certain unsavory and influential individuals and I probably (definitely) need to skip town.

>>30914086
Okay, sign me up. I'm currently living in an abandoned shack behind the Pokemon Center in Shalour City. Send the milk my way.

Guys, I was taking my Rockruff on a walk on Route 2 and I saw this weird black-colored thing in the sky. It looked like it was refracting light from it's body - what in the world is it?

>>30916089
Where did it seem like it was headed? You should go over there and investigate.

>>30910806
>>30910846
>>30913388
Well I do have some favors to call in from a friend of mine who works at the aether foundation. Do you guys think they could deal with this thing?

>>30903766
Anon what the fuck is a Silvally, google gives nothing but weird conspiracy sites about alchemy

Is it safer for Snorunt to evolve into a Froslass or Glalie?

>>30916270
Is your Snorunt more feminine or masculine? If it's more feminine, then Froslass, masculine, Glalie.

>>30913798
And yet focusing solely on milk will get you fewer...recruits, for a variety of reasons, even from those you would gladly wish to induct into your fold.
Some people cannot handle milk. Some people do not like it that much. Others may not want it in the quantities you need to offload it in. Yet more may have simply already purchased regular milk recently and thus not see the value in your acquiring more of something they believe to be a quickly expiring good.
Thus, a secondary recruitment method should be implemented.

>>30916103
Somewhere near Ten Carat Hill. I'll go see if it's there.

>>30916291
that's...not what I meant.

I'd like to molest a pokemon haha.
Just for laughs haha.

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>people of alola don't know what a rotation battle is or even a what triple battle is

what is wrong with this region?

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>>30890754
Do you think the pokeworld have pokemon brothels?

>>30917122
Alright, I'm back - I found the black creature from before...it's really weird looking. Looks strong, too - I don't think I can take on this thing.

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>>30890754
My Duosion just evolved into a Reuniclus and it's grabbing random things and throwing them around the room, or putting them in its slime. It won't let me take my stuff back either. What do?

>>30917851
Don't worry, you should be able to battle it with a strong Bug type.

Can I hug my misdreavus? Will to frighten her?

>>30918041
>implying you can make corporeal contact with a ghost

>>30917880
It's acclimating to having actual physical arms (and a higher psy capacity), it should calm down in a week or so. Either that, or it just wants attention and is fucking with you. Also remind it that when it does this it can get sick. That goop is effectively it's skin, and it can contract mold from haphazardly shoving shit in there. They're pretty smart, so they should actually understand this concept.

>>30918041
You can't hug or pet a Misdreavus, but they usually appreciate the gesture nonetheless

My Lilligant's flower started to turn grey a few hours ago, is this a normal thing?

RACE WAR

All you Alolans, or niggers as I like to call them, get off this community because it is for mainlanders only, understand, because if not I will make Alolans slaves again!

HOENN MASTER RACE

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>>30918510
You have committed a crime. Lilligants are to remain pure or with other females.

My Porygon2 got into my computer and it's creating ".Evo" files. I don't know what it's doing but I'm guessing it has to do with evolution.

So, I just got my Incineroar healed up at the Poke'mon Center, and the nurse told me he had Pokerus. She said not to worry about it.
>>Poke catches rare virus
>>"Don't worry, it's not dangerous"
Yeah fucking right. What should I do?

>>30919645
Quarantine it in a locked rom for 24 hours.

>>30919645
Take it to the back of the pkmn center and shoot it in the back of your head. I'm sorry for your loss, anon.

>>30920484
his head, not yours.

>>30917907
I don't think anything I've got at the moment can take on this thing.

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When I leave for work, he always looks like he lost all hope. Sad.

>>30893545
Can ya post that one more time?

>>30920678
I'm guessing you can't bring him with you to work, do you maybe have another Pokemon you can leave out with him while you're gone?

>have a Snorunt
>love her to bits
>decide to evolve her one day
>have a dawn stone
>evolve her into a Froslass
>she seems to like it so I guess it was a good move
>go read the Pokedex to educate myself on Froslass
>find out their favourite food is male souls
>w-well she wouldn't eat me r-right
>and then learn that they freeze people and Pokemon they like and put them on display
Well is there anything I can do or am I fucked?

>>30921237
Take her to a local high school anime club: there's lots of males no one will miss for her to devour.

>>30921134
That's the problem. Sometimes one of us are home with him, but most weekdays he's alone. I'd fear if we got another poké, if they didn't like each other they'd fight in the house.

I do leave him or plenty of toys on the floor and some kibble before I leave, but he barely plays with anything and eats very little.

>>30919645
This sounds like the absolute worst thing to do, but let him spread it. Pokerus actually increases the rate a Pokemon grows stronger. There's literally no threat to his well-being, or that of any other Pokemon.

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Hey guys, so, I have a question. Let's say someone has an "unfortunate accident", and I just happen to be there, ready to collect them when they come back as a ghost. Legally speaking, am I in the clear?

>>30923275
Humans becoming ghost types aren't always a sure thing, they only stay as a ghost if they have a resentment holding them down to this plane of existence.

>>30921943
Is you're riolu a boy or girl cause trying to get another poke might actually be a good idea but what the other pokèmons gender does matter

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my vaporeon is sitting in the bathtub and creates some real fucking scary sounds.
it's like the ambiente of the gygas fight, and is going on for 6 hours straight.

why is this happening to me? should i be worried?

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I love my Porygon, PorgOS, but when I downloaded him some food and let him into my PC, he corrupted my Fallout 2 save by accident. I still love him though.

>>30924115
It's trying to communicate to you

I am a vaporeon whisperer so just by the context I can understand what it's saying.

K I L L Y O U R S E L F

That's what it said! Frankly, I'd follow its advice. Nobody loves you more than your pokemon, they always look out for you!

A group of diglett moved into my area last month and they keep creating holes in my backyard, almost got my foot stuck in one of them once, how do I get rid of the little shits? The family skitty isn't built for battling, and I don't have any pokemon besides her.

>>30924515
Fuck the holes
They should get the message
That is, unless youve got a pitiful sized one
Theyll just think youre one of them, and bring more friends

>>30924515
Take your garden hose, put it into the hole and flood them

>>30924515
Repels. Buy some. Spray them all over your backyard. Set aside a couple of them though, you want to screw the lids off of those and pour the liquid down the holes that are already there.

>>30921943
How much exercise does he get? Battles?
As poorly worded as >>30924031 is, getting another poke might be a good idea. Be careful that Riolu can be competitive.

>>30924515
I had the same problem myself, >>30924602 doesn't always work.
Hardware stores should have a powder you can spread on your lawn that will drive them off.

>>30924031
>>30924648

Should I get a second Riolu? So it can relate to one another

>tfw two dogs

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THIS MOTHERFUCKING PORYGON
KEEPS ACCESSING MY PORN
AND CORRUPTING IT

WHAT AM I GOING TO FAP TO NOW

>>30925227
A ceiling lamp

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>tfw banned from Pal Park
Now where am I supposed to walk my Buneary? I heard folks in Johto do it all the time, but that's a huge trip.

>>30925553
How'd you get banned?

>>30925569
Some other trainer's Chimchar was trying to "put the moves on" my Buneary. She wasn't a fan, so she punched him into the pond and he nearly drowned.

>>30925658
Dude, that was my Chimchar. Why would you do that?

>>30925658
Sounds like your Buneary is just a slut. I'd say train it some more before it causes more problems in Johto. Consider spaying her.

>>30925695
The Chimchar was coming onto her, not her onto him. It was 100% unwanted.

>>30925803
She was asking for it.

>>30925819
Whatever, Chimchar. Aren't you supposed to be in the pokemon center?

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>Finally evolve my cute Steenee
>Her behavior changes (which was expected)
>When I tried to hug her after she evolved she kicked me away in anger
>Spend a while trying to get her to warm up to me
>No progress
>Later take her to battle
>She surprisingly listens to me and does a good job
>Pet the top of her head out of old habits
She started twitching and making weird noises. Now she refuses to enter her pokeball and constantly tries to hug my legs.

Whenever I pet her she just twitches again...is this normal? Should I get her examined at a pokecenter?

>>30925227
your porygon

>>30919058
how is it a crime? i just picked it up from the daycare when i noticed it

I need help guys I'm typing this on my phone, i'm stuck in this weirdo's house, I've been playing with him for a few months now and everything was going smooth, he said he was a Trick Master or some shit like that, i solved the riddles and he gave me items as a reward, but now there's these fucking robots asking me weird questions, how the fuck should I know wether a max repel costs more than a great ball???

>>30927091
>have phone
>have internet access
>can't go to pokemart.hn to look up prices
ISHYGDDT

>>30926455
Well the little protuberance on her head is very sensitive, so be careful.

>>30927085
I just looked it up and I found this:
"As soon as it finds a male to be its partner, the beautiful flower on its head darkens, droops, and withers away."

Your Lilligant is no longer a virgin, and I think it will start dying? You should have put a tighter leash on it, anon. Kind of a bad trainer.

>>30927150
THEY FUCKING ASKED ME ON THE SPOT I COULDN'T LOOK IT UP IN FRONT OF THEM NOW THE QUESTIONS HAVE CHANGED

>>30925128
Well if you're riolu is a fighter/hostile try a mon that can handle or resist it, cause another riolu might lead to a mess and may be bad for both, but if you're riolu us gentle and nice or not very hostile try an female eevee they'll get along better from personal experience anyway

Please tell us on how things turn out

WHO WAS THE FUCKING FAGGOT THAT SPREAD THAT RUMOUR THAT MISMAGIUS CAN CAST LOVE SPELLS?

>>30916234
Aetherfag here, Silvally is an artificial Pokemon created to combat ultrabeasts. The project was cancelled and people started abusing them. Thankfully they were arrested. It disgusts me what some employees do here.
>>30903766
On behalf of the foundation I am sorry about what some employees at the foundation have done to Silvally before it came into your custody. The employees who abused the Silvally you own have have been fired, arrested for an upwards of 50 years and have been fined approximately 100k Pokedollars

>>30927187
i swear i'm not a bad trainer. i just picked up from the daycare

>>30899223
https://discordapp.com/privacy

>>30927300
>Leaving your Lilligant at the daycare at all.

You pretty much put a sign on it that said "please ravage my virgin cherry"

Disgusting. Her life is over because of you.

These faggots team rocket guys were terrorising my home town, stealing pokemons and shit. Everyone who tried to challenge them were overwhelmed by the power of their stolen pokemons. I went inside their hideout. Brought a gun. Killed the boss Giovanni. Saw a weird armored pokemon break through the roof and fly away. They gave me the keys of the city.

>>30927270
Y-you're totally the good guys right? All dressed in white, reassuring smiles, doing-nothing-shady-behind-the-curtains type of fellows?

>>30927359
>violating the Snowbelle Convention
I don't give a shit if it was a goddamn Celesteela, I have already alerted the international police.

>>30927351
where does it say the lilligant starts dying? where can i go to help it?

>>30891150
What?

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>>30904171
DON'T CALL MY WIFE A FAGGOT
RESHIRAM LOVES ME

>>30927452
You'll never catch me pigs, i'm the avenger of the people of Kanto, I am a dark knight. Not even CIA could catch me

>>30927469
>withers away
Either it dies or it will live a shameful life. Everybody who sees it will know what a degenerate whore she is.

>>30927606
are you sure? i talked with the daycare manager, and they said that it's normal for lilligants to lose their flowers at this age

Nobody locks his front door. What is this, fucking Canada? Me and my Shiftry are planning some easy robberies, we gon get mad rich! I like you guys so 'm warning you, lock your shit if you live in Lilycove City.

>>30927715
Sure, with their proper mates. Not by getting plowed by a random Tauros or Tangela.

>>30927739
What's a canada?

>>30899332
>>30927493

>>30927750
is a proper mate Serperior? the day care said she was last seen with it

>>30927770
It's a fictional place from a videogame called Planet Earth

>>30927868
It's called Outside. Planet Earth is a location in-game, it's just so popular that people know it by that name.

>>30927398
Now we could be considered the good guys now that master Gladion is the foundation president. Back when madame Luasmine was the foundation present it was a bit more shady, that was partially due to her attempting to find Mohn, who went missing during a failed experiment, and attempting to cope with that loss.

tl;dr Everything is good now due to Gladion being in charge and everything used to be bad and shady because Lusasime went zubat-shit crazy trying to find Mohn.

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>Tired of my Aggron always shitting on my car
>Get a bigger car
>Nice
>Bond with pokemon improves substantially
>Finally get some aggronite
>Nice lets test out this mega evo
>I can feel the power coming from Mega Aggro-
>IMMEDIATELY takes a MEGA shit on my new car

FUCK

>>30910756
>>30916148
Someone finally got that thing off of the porch, I work at the Aether foundation but I didn't have access to the beast balls to catch these things

>>30928932
Are you sure that it's really gone? It might just be waiting on top of your house, ready to jump down at you.

>>30929056
I literally say another employee pull into my driveway and catch it, I cant find a trace of it anyway

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I
HATE
MAGIKARP

>>30930145
Why?

Does anyone here know if and how Pokemon Centers keep track of who's healing up and when? I'm planning on faking my death and I need to know if the authorities could be able to find me using my Pokemon Center records.

>>30930676
nigga what did you do

>>30930676
Your pokeballs are registered to you, so yeah. They'd know, not to mention any pokemon you have in the PC would be released if you don't have a next of kin.

>>30927230
Well. I just got home. Riolu starting climbing up my leg in happiness. He's now napping on me while I sit here. I have not explained him the surprise eevee in the other room. It's a loan from work, we usually use them for minor labour (pick up small lost items on site)

>>30930676
Your pokemon *are* tagged with your name and trainer ID, as well as your League system ID.
I'm sure the Centers record those as standard paperwork.

>>30930828
What kind of rich ass company do you work for that can afford Eevee for menial labor?

>>30930869
>eevee is expensive when it's the most popular and is mass bred in this region

You idiot.

It's more like we have a couple on site, fed and pet well, if something is lost on site we task them to find it (the worksite is 50Ha). Since the company is shutting down over the Christmas and new year break, I asked to borrow one for this time to fix this problem. No issue. They cycle them to good homes before they evolve.

>>30930761
>>30930869
Shit. I guess I'm going to have to withdraw everything I can from the PC without looking suspicious. I'll also have to buy a ton of potions and revives, maybe I'll look into farming my own berries in some secluded location. Thanks for the help, guys.

>>30931059
So what'd you do?

>>30931170
Long story short: I was trespassing into some rich folks house, a fight broke out, and there are currently two corpses laid out in front of me. It's a really small house, and it's starting to smell. Normally I'd just dispose of the bodies myself and be done with it but one of them is stuck under a dresser that's way too heavy for me to lift. If anyone finds out about this, I am definitely going to jail for a LONG time, so I'm planning on having my Chandelure torch the place. Don't worry about me, I've made sure that it'll be really hard for the cops to track me down. Once again, thanks for the help!

>>30931528
>chandelure

i think i might be able to help you get off the grid.
wanna buy some milk?

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>>30931528
We've already found you out.

>>30917335
>triple battles
>rotation battles
wut???

>>30927091
did you bring an escape rope?

>>30931528
>chandelure
feed the corpses to her.

she'll be healthier and you won't have to deal with the bodies anymore.

>>30931692
Oh I did. Plenty of it, too. Enough to poison an entire restaurant with. I've been planning this for a while now. I kinda doubt Mr. Detective here >>30931754 will be able to pick me out from a crowd.

>>30932191
Oh dear

the coven mother doesn't react well to people outside the sisterhood taking her form.

I hope you're prepared to outrun more than the law.

I'd also add one restaurants worth of people to your death toll, assuming none of them are willing to join the order.

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i got an eevee that's ready and willing to evolve, a fire stone and a water stone

warm and fluffy or smooth and sqishy?

>>30934599
smooth and squishy feels better around your dick desu

>>30934610
but anon, smooth and sqishy is made for kissing its cute face and chubby tummy!
fugging comes later

>>30934643
male or female?

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Been thinking about it for a while lately, but I think I'm going to build a literal dream team with my Gengar.

Thoughts? Recommend any particular Pokemon?

>>30930828
>>30930930
Can wait to hear how you're riolu and eevee react to each other hopefully things go well

>>30911454
WERE YOU SURPRISED

>>30936812
Get Musharna

>>30937714
Got it.

I've looked a little into Shiinotic

Darkrai is also an attractive option, but it's rare and edgy.

>>30934972
female

i wanna suck dem kitty titties

test

>>30940333
>testing out your repeating digit script

>>30937452
It went well. I do have my younger brother at home today to make sure the transition is smooth, but otherwise, it's the friendship that Riolu absolutely needed. Even shed a tear, he did.

>>30938921
Cats don't have tits, this isn't your Kantonese animes

>>30921299
m'lady

>>30928480
Mohn? Like the guy in poke palego?

>>30927332
Jesus christ

>>30944193
Wait, you found him?

Are Altaria feathers removable? Like, without harming the Altaria itself? They look really comfortable, and they might make a really nice pillow.

WE ALL LIVE IN THE POKEMON WORLD

>>30945140
Yeah, they moult about once every two weeks. If you really need a shitload of feathers over time (artisanal pillows?), you might be better off hatching a few swablu. They're incredibly docile and they shed feathers like crazy.

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Hey Trainers. Any of you recently moved to MeleMele island? Finally moved into a pretty nice place not far from the main city. So far this place is pretty cool.

>>30946168
When I was 14, my family stayed for two weeks just outside of Iki Town on vacation. It was the best trip of my life, because I got my first and second Pokemon in that time. They're still with me today.

>>30946304
Oh really? What Pokémon?

>>30946336
A Litten and a Cutiefly, now an Incineroar and a Ribombee. They've been with me for 12 years.

>>30936812
Musharna, maybe?

Yo why are people giving me weird looks whenever I go out for a walk with Mismagius?

>>30934599
Flareon.

Unless you live near saltwater, Vaporeon will be very antsy and moody. It gets irritable when it doesn't soak itself in saltwater every few days.

With Flareon, make sure to comb its mane and tail every week, for the first month it will feel very tired and overheated, it needs to learn how to dispel its new temperature. Otherwise, Flareon are very easy pets, second only to Leafeon.

>>30936812
Komala.

>>30946514
They think you use it for...special reasons.

>>30946514
Are Misdreavus/Mismagius common pokemon where you live? It's possible that they haven't seen one before, Dusk stones are somewhat expensive and hard to come across. Are you doing anything stupid/lewd in public like some of the other posters? Or maybe they're just surprised that your Mismagius is well trained and disciplined. Hard to say without more information.

>>30946588
Oh dude what the fuck? Are people really that sick? Is there anything I can do to make them realize I'm not a sick fuck?

>>30946621
Well they aren't too common outside the cemetery so it might be that. Also funny story about the Dusk Stone, I was just out walking on the trail and I found it lying on the ground, guess I'm lucky like that.

>>30946627
Get her a boyfriend or something. I've heard Gallade or Gadevoir work well with them.

>>30946682
lmao don't listen to this degenerate cuck

get YOURSELF a girlfriend you retard

>>30946734
Or that, that works.

>>30946551
>second only to Leafeon

yeah, if you want it to shed dead leaves all over your house. get a sylveon.

anong, I have made a huge mistake. well, a series of not so hugest mistakes that turned into this monster of a mess I'm in now.
1. went into the local forest at night.
2. did not bring any mons with me.
3. ended up befriending some hex maniacs' sableye and misdreavus over some berries I picked on the way.
4. hex maniac locked eyes with me, demanded battle. did not comply.
5. tried flirting with hex maniac.
6. on the run from local branch of the coven for tempting one of their members.

what do?