post your favorite pokemon and then your darkest secrets last

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NO MORE NORMALFAG NONVIRGIN SHIT PLEASE

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>>30842928
reposting from the last thread:

Most people tell me that I'm a really nice and great person, always helpful, never selfish. I don't really believe them. I say that because I find pleasure in controlling people, no matter the consequences. I have a horrible list of fetishes that most, if not all, people would hate me for if I listed them, so why bother? I'm dependant and lonely. I can't help but see people as things needing correction and control. I realize how stupid this all sounds but I lack the willingness to change any of it. Its depressing and I think that everyone I know is better off without me.

TL:DR - All of the good things I do are quietly overshadowed by the malicious intentions behind them.

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something something saline in balls

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In order to keep my family together and from hating the fuck out of me I've had to lie about countless things.

>>30843021
Like?

>>30842993
oh shit i remember you

>>30842993
post the imgur

>>30842993
why are you so salty?

Hydeigon
I was kidnapped twice as a child

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>>30842928
I sold Lillie's Poke Doll.

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>>30842928
Because I am such a useless fuck, I want to be a cute loli or phox housewife that actually has a purpose in the form of taking care of someone else Also when I was younger I was curious about if anal actually felt good so sometimes I would clean myself out and stick stuff up my ass. Can't say it was that bad. Other than that, nothing much.

>>30843087
Pussy

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>>30842928
I don't see the point in making a new thread immediately afterward, the same people are going to be posting here. Oh yeah, and I have huge problems talking to people and constantly feel all alone.

>>30843062
Yeah i posted in the previous thread and got 12 replies.

>>30843081
Salty? No i live to see peoples reactions, it brings me great joy.

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I have work in like eight hours but I'm probably going to stay up all night making sure there are no more posts like >>30842254

>>30842847
I hate to be that guy, but have you considered/tried a rehab clinic? It's better than trying and failing on your own. You already know heroin WILL fuck up your life, so what do you have to lose?
Reposting from the other thread

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I don't really have any need or desire for real social contact
If anything it's actually kind of unhealthy for me, as my paranoia issues inevitably fuck up any kind of friendship

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I love Lopunny
I have an overwhelming and crippling fear of death.
Its so strong that things like driving and simply going out in public sometimes fighting me because I might die. I stay away from heights, I trust no one, I kill all venomous spiders I see. I do tonnes of stuff like that and am very timid in everything. I don't trust myself to even get a license as I feel I might crash it and die.

I stay up at nights trying to comprehend the overwhelming nothingness that might be death and lose many hours of sleep. I would literally let scientists do all kinds of shit with my brain if it meant I might live forever, even as a brain in a jar. Just living with the crippling realization that everything I am and will ever do is all meaningless and will vanish regardless of my actions scares me to my core.

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the only reason i didn't go to college was because of the required math classes you have to take. i barely passed the required math test my old high school makes you take in order to graduate and i didn't take the SATs solely because of the math section. my parents believed the bullshit reason i gave them for not going to college though, they also don't know i didn't take my SATs.
my life is going pretty good so far actually. may be broke and working two jobs for the rest of my life because of math but i'm definitely having fun. keeps me busy.

>>30843094
Any contact info anon? I'd like to talk to someone like that.

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[Spoiler]i have a girlfriend but i fantasize and dream about a girl I am friends with but isn't my gf. And i found a girl who looks like her on the internet then jerk off to her so it's not like I'm jerking off to my friend.[/spoiler]

>>30843080

>>30839677

>>30843178
Shit how'd I fuck up the spoiler

>>30843178
Yeah, you are jerking off to your friend because you're thinking about how she looks like your friend. Not only that, but your infidelity shows how horrible and unloving you are at your core. What's even worse is that you can't even spoiler correctly.

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>>30843174
Sorry anon, 9 times out of 10 I won't give out any info about myself on this site, no matter how much I love it and the posters here. Maybe if you catch me some other time or something like that. I go on phox phriday threads mainly

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>tfw no really deep dark secrets

In high school I would follow hot girls up the stairs with my face as close to their ass as possible. Eventually they caught on and avoided going up the stairs when I was nearby, but I kept trying because I was a horny bugger.

Similarly, when girls got up from their seats after class, I would "accidentally" drop a book near their still-warm chair and inhale deeply. Afterward I'd fap in the washroom. Did this like twice a week.

>>30843178
OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT >>30842963

>>30843211
No matter what happens, you'll never be the little fox girl you dream of being.

>>30843133
Iktf anon. I get the feeling suddenly and at random intervals. I do drive now though. I think it has to do with when I was really depressed. Guess it never really goes away.

>>30843112
it's already over for me, my family wants nothing to do with me and I dont have friends that would miss me when i'm gone

i tried kicking the stuff once but i just came back to it

>>30843209
>being attracted to someone who isn't your significant other is wrong
anon you realize attraction isn't voluntary right? As long as he isn't actually cheating on anybody there's no harm being done

>>30843133
You are going to die and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

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>>30843246
I know and it scares me just thinking about it

>>30843133
>>30843237
After having bouts of Existentialism, just sit back and eventually accept that fact we're all going to die.

Pretend it's like spending a day at a Theme Park. You know you'll have to eventually leave at the end of the day, so just spend your time having fun instead of worrying.

>>30843245
Masturbating to that person is very voluntary and may as well count as sex.

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>>30843234
I know, anon, and thus I am left in this state of uselessness where I only really spend quality time posting on this site as I'm not good at anything except what someone would expect from a stay at home wife except I'm male so nobody wants me. I still wish I could be a qt phox though. Would be nice

>>30843264
But what it the theme park kills me?
I'd rather just stay at home

>>30843240
How did you try last time?

>>30843264
Not the lopunny guy but yeah I snap back to reality pretty quick. But thinking about shit like world history and the future of our planet triggers me to think about that stuff, like how insignificant this blip of time is, most of us will only love a century or less.

>>30843270
>may as well count as having sex
yeah let me pop in a game of madden and tell everyone I play football. What are you supposed to just only jerk off to your girlfriend? In a perfect world maybe but if you're jerking off despite having access to sex on a regular basis then you definitely don't want to be doing it to that same person you could just be fucking

>>30843278
Phox phriday lad.

>>30843264
But after you go home you remember those good times you had
I'm not him, but unless you believe in a soul, you can't remember your life after you die, right? Your brain decomposes.

>>30843283
We're all in the Theme Park anon. All the exit gates are shut until closing time. It's just some people choose to sit on the benches all day instead of riding rollercoasters.

>>30843270
Kek virgin detected

>>30843278
Is this what that off guy was trying to talk about? Something about that being bad and health and shit.
Wonder if he'll ever show back up, or if he'll go the way of the tailsposter.

>>30843133
I know this feel
I have some chronic health problems and a couple years ago I passed out and woke up in a hospital to be told that I'd been out for five days and had almost died. Since then I've been thinking about how fragile and meaningless my life is daily.

>>30843313
I know. I already said here ( >>30843211 ) that I attend those threads.
>>30843340
Which one?

>>30843278
I could tell that you were a male based solely upon your desire. No actual woman thinks that way.

Now that I'm done bashing your dreams into the dust, I'm going to get some sleep. Have a nice life. <3

But not before >>30843312 , who clearly has a distorted concept of love and what it means to be faithful in a relationship. I hope your girlfriend leaves you for a chad after she masturbates to him a few times and moves on to the next hunk of meat.

>>30843354
no im calling you a phox lad

love every one of you

>>30843317
You still go to Theme Parks to have fun, right? Not just for the memories.

If our consciousness will cease to exist when our brains decompose, then you only have one single attempt at life. So why waste your only chance at being alive by being depressed or worrying all the time instead of just enjoying it?

>>30843370
because you'll never get a real woman

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i don't have nearly as many friends at college than i do at home (many states away)
one of my best friends here is a girl who's been in a serious relationship with one of my other good friends (who i was supposed to live with) for nearly all of college
i don't necessarily want them to break up because they're really good together but i wish there were two of her or something
also one time i stole something from an arcade type place, the owner found my friend's contact info and asked him for mine, he called me out and drove to my house (an hour away, i was too young to drive) to get the stolen stuff back (not in a scary way, he just needed it back and that was the only option really)
thinking back on it, i was super lucky that he didn't act more on it or even tell my parents, since that could have fucked me very badly

>>30843370
Ah, must have misunderstood. Sorry. Thanks, anon.
>>30843362
I already knew it was a hopeless dream, anon. Doesn't mean I can't have it though

>>30843384
I have one?

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I'm afraid of Math tests...
It sounds crazy but really.
Everytime when we write a math test,I want to cry.
I learn but I also forget that shit, a blackout.

Once I didn't wanted to write a math test, because I learned nothing for it, so I put a toothbrust in my mouth and puke, to not write this math test.(Yes, I'm female.English is not my motherlanguage)

>>30843319
There are to many roller coasters to ride. How do I get the money to ride them before I have to go.
How do I know I even like roller coasters.
How do I stop being afraid of everything?

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>>30843354
Some guy avatarfagged with the batter from off (pic related) in a few threads, mostly to posts talking about fugging pokemon. Haven't seen him before, last time I saw him was like 12 hours ago.

>>30843408
Everyone is afraid of Math tests, hang in there!

>>30843408
so are you 15 or

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Posting my second favorite. My first is pretty uncommon being a NFE and I imagine you guys are sick of seeing me.

I've started to wonder if I should try guys. I just feel like I'll never be compatible with a girl and even if I was she has better options.

>>30843408
Well gee anon maybe you can just, I dunno get good at maths so they aren't scary?
It really isn't that hard unless your doing advanced Uni level stuff.

>>30843389
That is really sad dude. But i think it might just be cuz you're already friends you think it'd be easier to date her that way. But really you should probably just look for somebody else.

>>30843419
You're already inside the Theme Park, there's only just an entrance fee and all the rides are free.

And you'll stop being afraid of rollercoasters when you get out of your comfort zone and try it out. Sometimes there won't be a person to drag you along, so you either enjoy sitting on that bench or force yourself to try out new, alien things.

>>30843421
Oh, him. Sorry I didn't know what off is so I was confused. I'm pretty sure he was talking about situations that sound like mine, but desu mine isn't that bad compared to some of the others I've seen.

>>30843458
When I was younger my mother beaten me, because I had so bad marks in math.
I think because of that, I hate math. I want to kill all math teachers.

>>30843458
People get scared over Lower-Division Calculus courses.

>>30843469
rereading this it made me sound more into her than i am
more like i'm bad at meeting people and we're pretty compatible, and if she didn't have a bf i would ask her out
the sadder one is the girl i was hung up on for like 6 years (we did date briefly, and were very close friends after) that i only started to get over by cutting off most contact about a year ago even though it feels shitty

>>30843473
>All the rides are free
Like shit they are anon. I can't even survive in this world without being a wage slave for life.
And even then how do shit that fun in life when I am getting paid garbage.

I guess I am afraid of leaving my comfort zone because I am afraid of wasting time. I won't naturally won'y enjoy every roller coaster in life, and that mentality makes me think, "Why bother if I end up not liking it?" I know I got like another 60 years ahead, but I always feel like every moments counts. So I'll play it safe and do the things I know i love so I don't waste any time. And thanks to blissful ignorance, I won't know if the things I don't do are good because I'll never try them.

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i wet the bed until i was 16

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I tried drawing Lilligant because it's so fucking cute
I don't even draw normally!
I cucked a guy I had known since 6th grade during my senior year of high school. I don't feel bad for it because fuck that guy but sometimes I miss being friends with the two

>>30843524
Damn. Well I'm glad you cured your oneitis. I think most guys meet a girl like that at some point, but moving on is the healthy thing to do. I was really into this one girl but once I gave up trying to date her or even remaining her friend I felt a lot better.

>>30843544
If the thing you enjoy doing isn't moping around and being scared over your inevitable death, then that's a rollercoaster.

Hell, sitting down and playing Pokemon Sun for 10 hours is a rollercoaster.

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>>30842928
I'm beginning to have huge emotional issues since I can't seem to feel anything meaningful from social interactions anymore. I can't feel sad for the death of a close relative, happy at the birth of another, and things like that. One of the only emotions I CAN feel fully is rage, which makes this even worse.

That might sound very edgy now that I think about it, focus on the "meaningful" part, I of course can still feel, I'm not a robot, its just that I've been having to exaggerate my reactions to compensate for how underwhelming I would come across otherwise, like faking tears in one of the examples above.

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I live with my family and keep my dildo, 2 onaholes, and multiple custom-made Pokemon zentai and latex suits, including one of pic related, in a locked drawer in my room that is easily accessible to everyone. My family, if they really wanted to see what is inside it, can easily find my keys and open it. If they ever find out I'll probably get kicked out and will kill myself. I had to pay someone to receive all my goods and meet them up to collect it, because my family never values privacy when it comes to mail and receiving packages.

>>30843580
thanks dude. i don't think it'll totally be cured til i meet someone else, but it's definitely progressed.
sidestory, i also know her sister pretty well and sort of used her as a replacement to talk to when i got bored. then my friend hooked up with her and made it weird, but i'd still probably get with her
it's just impossible to hang out with them separately at this point since i only see them like once a year

>>30843595
Consider the people you feel nothing over maybe just aren't the special to you.
Keep searching for that thing that makes you feel something, even if it is something like cute pics of Pokemon or some shit.

>>30843278
anon, if you're gay you can still try to find a boyfriend/husband that can take care of you while you be his loving househusband

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So when I would ask people how I am, they would describe me as a friendly and shy girl whatever.
But however I am, in my mind, I let people tortured.The guy in the bus station , I imagine him, how I would torture him. Them I associate this shit. But I don't want to kill someone. I describe myself as a kind person.
I'm weird.My favorite typ is fairy.

>>30843644
So you're a dominatrix?

>favorite
Porygon-Z.
>secret
I am a pokephile, and I'm still ashamed of it. btw has anyone figured out how to stop being a pokephile/furfag

don't have many big secrets, make up for that with way too many little ones

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>>30843619
>Consider the people you feel nothing over maybe just aren't the special to you.
The problem is a lot of them are relatives. I left friendships for this reason, but saying people like my siblings and parents aren't special to me just seems wrong.

The idea of searching for something better does make sense, so thanks for that anon.

>>30843688
Why does what you fap to make you feel bad?
I don't get that. Like who cares?

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It's hard to imagine there are people behind their screens typing this.

Out in public people seem like 2-D faceless cutouts with no layers of depth in them.
But I forget they're humans and everyone has they're own share of inner turmoil.

It really puts into perspective how "not important" you are relative to everyone else. It almost feels like I have no right to feel sad when there are always people out there going through hell.

>>30843693
To me saying someone is special JUST because they are related seems wrong.
You should love people for who they are, not just because they are related to you. Its thoughts like that that make people put up with horrible parents that advantage of them their whole lives.

>>30843704
A lot of this shit is just made up or exagerated as hell

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>>30843688
Don't fuck Porygon-Z
Other than that it's fine, this is /vp/

>>30843695
I could write out my reason, but I'm about to go to sleep and wouldn't be able to respond to anything. Sorry I guess

>>30843639
I feel quite a bit weird about man on man relationships, anon. But I mean, I guess if you look at it that way I am kinda a homo anyway. I'd still at the least prefer being a qt loli or phox first though. Masculine on masculine just doesn't seem right to me. Maybe this is why nobody loves me

>>30843704
>It almost feels like I have no right to feel sad when there are always people out there going through hell.
saying you cant feel sad because others have it worse than makes no sense, by that logic you cant be happy because someone out there won the lottery
Also this >>30843715

>>30843722
Try estrogen

>>30843715
Fair point. People tend to blow up their own problems or garner sympathy for the hell of it.

It'd still be sad if real life people were as shallow as generic anime characters though.

>>30843722
mtf is always an option

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>>30843715
Well I dont lie

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i have an unhealthy obsession with a musician to the point where i have downloaded hundreds of pictures of her and fantasize about doing lewd things with each other while masturbating to her songs. she's the only thing that has made me truly happy this year though i feel bad sometimes because i know that this particular musician hates clingy fans and is extremely uncomfortable with them.
i'm a girl

>>30843731
It's fine to feel positive.
But going "Oh, woe is me" over a petty problem like breaking up with someone is mocking the people starving in Africa where relationship problems are the last thing on their mind.

>>30843740
>>30843736
Traps are a bit of a pass though I feel my body is a tad bit too masculine to do that, unfortunately. Quite ironically trans people gross me out though.

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>>30843765

>>30842989

I actually sort of have trouble accepting when people say nice things about me as well, either because they don't know the true me or I think they're just lying to be nice. Sexually I'm into dominance and nonconsensuality, but are ironically shy, lonely, and dependent. I've wondered if those qualities are why I find being powerful and in control so arousing. I also find what you say last somewhat humorous considering that a relatively recent general fantasy of mine has been playing the nice guy to try and trick or lure someone into a non-consensual situation. Preying upon their naivete or better angels.

I don't really think you should hate yourself for your fetishes though, you can find such things sexually arousing and know that the difference between reality and fantasy.

>>30843765
Which musician?

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Not sure if this counts as a "dark" secret, but it's something I don't really tell anyone so whatever.

I'm not sure if this is just severe autism or what, but I always have a hard time believing people when they say anything nice about me. I always take it as disingenuous or patronizing.

>>30843845
I know this feel, anon, but you shouldn't take it like that. No one would bother to take the time and compliment you if they didn't mean it.

I know it's easy to feel insignificant and unloved or whatever else, fucking trust me, but you're more than you make yourself out to be.

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empoleon

one of my friends once borrowed my pokemon silver from me and never returned it, I knew his dad was big on fish, so in the dead of night I snuck in with my uncle's soviet union memorabilia gear and killed one with a shitty harpoon made from a tree branch

the next morning while waiting for the bus I could hear an inhuman howl like a man's soul was bring ripped in two, and my friend lived half a block from the bus stop

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>>30843810
björk
>>30843793
i admit my infatuation but it's definitely not to the point of ricardo. don't plan on bringing it that far either.

>>30843880
So you killed a fish from a river and put it at his doorstep or something?

>>30843901
the dad had a small but nice outdoor pond he kept his fish in over the spring/summer/fall

i just crept into their backyard and speared it

>>30843899
Bjork a shit, be my gf

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>>30842928
I fap to bara gay furries

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>>30843094
I've tried the latter myself. I got nothing out of it.

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>>30843916
won't date someone with shit taste in music, sorry

>>30843954
Well fuck you she looks like she has FAS ;~;

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>>30842928
I regulary perform cunnilingus on my dog

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>>30843968
;)

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>>30843936
I did at first but then I decided to try the thing I thought was only a meme: I hit my prostate with the main tool I used. Feels alright, but I had to stop afterwards for fear of potentially being caught so I couldn't experiment further. Surprised myself when I first hit it.

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I want to be brutally raped by a psychopath while he beats the fuck out of me until I black out or die. The more derranged the person is the hotter
I want to die in a horrifically gory way
I've maintained a healthy four years strong relationship while constantly being in love with various fictional men
I stick my fingers in my mouth and bite and drool all over them sometimes when I masturbate
For the past six months I've been unemployed and living off savings while lying to everyone that I work part-time. I've spent the better portion of my adulthood laughing at people like me

There's probably worse shit that is just habitual that I can't think of. I probably need to be locked up

>>30844011
>Every woman ever

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My biggest fetish is body hair, to the point where it can sometimes be difficult to get off to a girl without pubic hair unless the picture/video caters to like 3 or more of my other fetishes. Sometimes I'll download hentai pictures and other lewds, especially Pokegirls as of recently, and draw a bush on it myself just to be satisfied. I like armpit hair and even anal hair too, but the most important part is the pubes. I know it's a relatively tame fetish, but I still can't help but feel weird about it because it's so rare for anyone in this generation to prefer hair over completely shaven.

Also Crobat's not my #1 favorite, but it is in my top 5, but I'll be damned if anyone I know happened to be browsing this thread for some reason and recognized me by my taste.

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when i was a kid i had to live with my grandparents for a year while my grandma was sick with lung disease and dementia. Basically saw her deteriorate in front of me. I developed a fear of illness after that.
Pic related, its ironic that this little guy became my favourite in the end, my grandma was fond of butterflies as well [/spoilers]

>>30844011
I have a serious fetish for both drool and hands/fingers.

>>30844053
Is this a jojo reference?

>>30844185
rero

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I come from an incestuous household and abaonded my family for what they did to me

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>>30842928
Sorry for my english, guys


I really think I deserve die.
I have some friends also my loved girlfriend who love me as well, we want get married, have a son and a daughter (or whatever comes, only boys or girls are totally fine too) and be happy until our death, but I really think this is just false. I'm too shit as human to be legitimately loved.
Some "friends" already betrayed me so I can't call "friend" the people who I love even if literally I send it messages out of nowhere to say it how much I love they (and they response me with the same). I'm just an useless neet and the only thing people can win becoming close to me is hurt me but I really deserve it so I'm KO with pretending I have friends and a real girlfriend even if they are just trying to hurt me, actually I deserve even worse things but a quick death isn't a possibity, my relationships are sometimes a torture and I deserve a slow torture (also I haven't courage to kill myself so...).
About the neet part, I'm totally unable to study because my mind is always busy in other stuff (like how cool the new Pokemon is or how shitty I am and why still alive) and without proper formation I don't get any job, so my days are just stay in my PC, play videogames, think I deserve die, cry and sometimes receive psychologic help, payed by my parents who only accept that because "hur hur you're our son so we should take care of this and love you" not an actually and legit love (only what society taught them) but I don't care because they are actually bad people, people I hate. I'm not sad for "have no parents" (in regards to MY feelings) but someone to love and be really loved for first time in my life would be nice.
I'm just trapped in this life, my only scape is suicide but I have no courage and I deserve pain so I should stay trapped and suffer until the day finally I die.

I'm also totally asocial and I fap with underage girls becase why not I'm not raping anyone

>>30844324
If you an hero it sounds like you'll be missed

Have you talked to someone? Thought about seeing someone?

>>30844324
Try thinking about things from other peoples' perspectives. Think about what you must mean for them in their lives, and think about the things you do for them on a regular basis, even if it doesn't feel like tangible "things" in the way you seem to think are the only way of measuring worth. You have parents who are willing to support you and friends and a girlfriend who wouldn't willingly be there for you if they didn't want to be.

Now one more thing. Think about the people who are the closest to you, and think about the impact you'd leave on them if you actually did kill yourself. Think about their tears, and the years of pain they'd be going through trying to cope with a presence they were always used to having in their lives, now gone forever. Think about how you'd be hurting them, because I know you must care for them. This all comes from someone who's in a very similar situation to you, often feeling pointless and like nobody would ever really care for me, and I can tell you right now that I'm way lonelier than you are. Earlier this year I've had a way bigger desire to just drop dead, but like you, I don't have what it takes to off myself. But thinking about the pain of the people I'd be leaving behind feels like putting a knife in my stomach and twisting it, and it really is one of my biggest anchors and reasons for being.

Hang in there, anon. You're loved.

>>30844315
Is your family hot?

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I'm only 19, but I feel old and like my life is over. I dropped out of college because I nearly killed myself and now have no idea what to do. The only thing I was passionate about was art, but after going to college and seeing how much better people my age were than me, I just lost any drive to create anything. The only good thing I do that I enjoy is rescue stray cats, but now I have 13 of my own and one foster. Right now the house is fine because it's so big and the whole family chips in to take care of them, but I want to help these two old feral cats who live on the porch, but my parents won't let me, even though there's room in the basement to keep them until they are socialized and ready to be rehomed. I also gained 10-15 pounds over the last year due to my anti-depressants mixed with my poor diet, which never caused me any problems until I started taking meds, so I'm just a bit overweight, but I have shitty skin so after the first five pounds my legs and boobs broke out in red streaks so now I don't even want to live since no man will ever want me, even though I'm probably too shy and loyal to my 2d husband to ever get married. I'm sexually repressed because I live with my parents and have resorted to using a proactive face washer as a vibrator, but once it breaks I'm fucked since I can't buy my own toys without my parents finding out since my mom looks in my closet since we share clothes. My biggest fetish is transformation, but only if it's into a herm, monster, or animal. I can only get off if I imagine I'm the one with the penis, but that's because I could never reach vaginal climax,only clitoral, since I lacked the proper toys, not because I'm trans. I like being a girl and I'm fairly attractive due to the comments I get from boys, but my marks just won't go away so I wish I could just shed my skin for a new one. I have no one to vent to since two of my friends broke up and we all took one or the other's side so we never hang out now.

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I never agreed for anything anyone told me to do. Because of this i am childishly refusing to exist, never talk to anyone outside of the internet unless it's necessary, work and shopping aside, i never leave home, my entile home is a mess with trash all around, and dirty plates everywhere, i literally only wash one plate and eat at it over and over again. I'm spending all of my spare moey on pokemon plushies, and it's the only thing i keep in good condition. Honestly, i'm happier this way than i was ever before.

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Afraid of this shit.
So Idk but If I had a partner, I don't know where to fart and shit.( If we living together of course)
Many boys are disgusted,or.

>>30844324
Just kill yourself. Jump off, swallow pills, quick, fast, easy...

>>30844529
just use the bathroom, and excuse yourself for farting. You've got bodily functions too. A guy who is too immature to realise that without cringing at it like a little bitch is a guy not worth keeping..

>>30844501
>I'm only 19, but I feel old and like my life is over

Literally stopped reading right there.
Chill out, and have a fucking drink.

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>>30844501
Pls be gf

>this thread

hahaha holy fuck and i thought i was a mess

>>30844570
see
>>30843715

>>30844501
>gril
You're already on easy mode, chin up, and you'll make it out there

post art or if you're afraid of identification do a quick gesture

What are the best priority users in pre-bank OU?

>>30844501
If you're at least average looking you could find a guy who will look after you pretty easily.

>>30844582
whoops wrong thread

>>30844577
Being a tranny isn't really easy modo from what I've seen. People either coddle or out right dismiss you. And it does hell to your brain.

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Sometimes I wanna kill my uterus.
I hate my period.
Guys are so fucking luckily. I don't want kids,too. So it's fucking useless.
Why do humans have period, I wished we could lay eggs like fishes do. But boys wouldn't understand it.

>>30844430
>Thought about seeing someone?
You mean... like the psychological help already mentioned?


>>30844432
you have parents who are willing to support you
I have two persons who I hate but are willing to suppor me. Yeah, it's something but not really big.

>and friends and a girlfriend who wouldn't willingly be there for you if they didn't want to be.
Obviously they want to be, they are people really important to me so they can easly hurt me. Random people can't be so hurful, so they wanted become relevant in my heart.
Or maybe they just love me but that's not what I think.

>think about the impact you'd leave on them if you actually did kill yourself.
Sorry anon but I really do it a lot. You know, usually I'm pretending we are friends/couple, so I can "believe it" a little. Usually they "are" my friends (even if I never use that word) and she "is" my girlfriend, but some details, some crap I said, some thing they said or simply when I go to the bed I remember all is false and I just trying to believe it to don't be sad 24/7. These times when I feel really really bad and I carry a knife in my hands (even knowing I'm not going to do anything) I think in how my death would change their lifestyle... and I realize if they really are with me to hurt me, why kill me? They are satisfied with my pain because (like me) they think I deserve it.
So yeah, I think about the impact I'd leave on they, they voluntarily choose hurt me so I should let they hurt me more. End my suffering would be selfish.


>>30844531
Sorry anon, I'm a scary bitch

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>>30844501
Is this how crazy cat ladies are born?

>>30844597
Would you prefer estrus?

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>>30842989
You are literally me.

Like, favorite Pokémon, and darkest secret is all me to the T.

>>30844593
She isn't a tranny, reread the post.

>>30844597
>Thread is now girls bitching about their "hard" lives

>>30843094
>I want to be a cute loli
Only normies and chads don't

Life would be so much better

>>30844600
Hey look, double dubs confirm I'm shit and deserve pain! That's how works, right?

>>30844597
Stop whining and get an Oophorectomy, problem solved.

>>30844564
this

I don't get what it is with these teens thinking everything is so shit and that their life is over.

>>30844634
Thank you for understanding, anon. So many of these normalfags somehow don't see how being a qt would make everything much improved.

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[Spoiler] Besides the all too common wanting to die shit: I barely play pokemon anymore execpt to have something to talk about with my two siblings that do, and have felt this way since BW2. Yet im often on /vp/ and always follow the hype train for the new games just be the guy who happens to know all the autostic shit like when this mon evolves, what moves that one learns, who has what hidden ability, and so on.

That said: im tempted to just hack my way in so we can play link multi battle tree together and skip the breeding autism.[/spoiler]

>>30844657
You could probably apply that to over half the people in this thread. Anyone else complaining probably carried the angst over from their teens and didn't grow out of it.

>>30844616
This would be perfect.

>>30844634
You mean closet pedos

>>30844671

>manly neckbeards wanting to be little girls

Pretty disgusting.

>>30844695
normie detected

>>30844695
>implying I'm a neckbeard
Nice projection. I may have too many masculine traits to try opting out for the trap path and shit but that doesn't immediately make me a neckbeard, faggot.

>>30844707
>i'm a normie

Ok closet pedo, go post in a trainer fashion thread creep.

Also you're pretty normie yourself, alot of creepy guys on 4chan are like you.

>>30844712
You act like one regardless.

>being manly
>wanting to be feminine
>not on mones

Nice genes faggot. I guess it's for the best to be fair too many manly creepy "trans" people.

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I have a good friend.He is super cute.
But the only problem is, he has no legs.But like me he loves Pokemon.
I think I love him but I can't date him, maybe it's sounds cruel but he can't earn money so good. I want a man who is succesful at work. My stupid mother told me that I should marry a rich man...
He didn't visited school, he got bullied, which I CAN'T understand.
He also likes me. I wan't to slap me.
Is money so important ? Everyone in my family tells me that the man should earn money, cause the female is the housewife.
I work in a store.

>>30844763
>Also you're pretty normie yourself, alot of creepy guys on 4chan are like you.
There are lots of "creepy" people on this website, so I am a normie? u wot?

You wont make me feel bad Chad, no matter how hard you try.

>>30844771
I hate you so goddamn much

>>30844773
>chad

Clearly didn't read my post.

And yeah there's alot of autogynephiliacs on 4chan to the point that it's pretty normie now.

>>30844763
>implying I want to be a disgusting trans person
Again, nice projection faggot. I just put up with what nature has provided me for now though if I'm ever given the chance for a full-on alternative I'll take it

Why are there so many non-English-speakers ITT?

My favorite Pokemon is Metagross

I plan on killing myself next Tuesday

>>30844771
Also I had to carry him so much.
I'm just a lazy maiden.
Also he can't fuck so good.

>>30844814
have fun with the repression, bro ;)

>>30844816
Because Americans are fat.

>>30844814
>want to be trans

This isn't tumblr faggot, it's not a choice. You either are or you aren't.

>>30844825
Not him but sometimes I wish I'd been born a woman so I could live on easymode.

>>30844832
>only murricans speak english.

>>30844777
Thank you

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>>30842928
I've led a relatively comfortable life, albeit a very sheltered one engaged in escapism for as long I can remember, I've found that I'm a very sensitive and clingy person, perhaps to fend off my feelings of loneliness. My relationships were complete trainwrecks and I had the audacity to feel depressed and wallow in my self pity. I spent an unhealthy amount of my time cooped up in my room where everything just grew into apathy. I've stopped feeling lonely and my sanity has probably slipped. I talk to myself often and apparently invented imaginary people to keep me company. I might look into Tulpas soon. Otherwise there are just games or anime to keep my mind off of needing other people.

>>30844845
>being a woman is easymode

An hero

>>30844858
He's right and you know it

>>30844834
What?
I guess I'm not then. But still, do people not have free will and the ability to choose for themselves?

>>30844858
>muh periods
>muh rapes

>>30844852
How clingy? I might consider striking up a friendship if you like.

>>30844816
Because they're probably all the same raging faggot

>>30844868
You don't have the free will to decide your genetic make-up.
You don't have the free will to decide to have Asian blood instead of Mexican blood.
You don't have the free will to decide to be a Sodium based lifeform instead of a Carbon based one.
You don't have the free will to decide to be a Dog instead of a Human.

You're born with what you got. Deal with it.

>>30844871
consider >>>/r9k/

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>>30844823
Please don't.

>>30844868
Well yes and no. So many people believe you can "chose" your gender, alot of them are tumblr fucks/sjws. Alot of these people are doing it to be hip and see it as a trend, hence transtrenders, and grow out of it their mid twenties. Also it's driving up waiting lists for actual trannies, which isn't fair.

But you really can't "chose". Can i "chose" to be and identify as a murderer and go around killing people without consequences?

If you have gender dysphoria, then you should see a shrink or doctor. If you can go through your daily life fine and you feel fine then there's no need for you to transition.

>>30844886
I used to be clingy. Now I'm tired and I won't invest myself in meaningful friendships anymore. It honestly seems like too much work.

>>30844933
I'll leave my email in case you feel like having someone to talk to even just casually I guess.

>>30844771
Good. Stay away from him. He doesn't need a vile person like you hurting him.

>>30844899
It sounds melodramatic. And it most likely is, but I think it is for the best. But I appreciate your concern friendo.

>>30844848
Yes. Stupid burger man.

>>30844892
I do deal with it, doesn't mean I can't recognize a hypothetical alternative that would be much better.
>>30844930
Guess I'll just leave the thought in the back of my head then.

>>30844707
Well I am a neckbeard virgin who takes a shower 5 times per year but I don't like lolis. I'm into bara men.

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Not really darkest secrets.

When i was born my dad left and my mom died when i was 4, and it's kinda left me a bit odd/strange. Like i struggle making eye contact, extremely shy, i suck at social stuff i mainly just sit there quietly even with family members. Although the way thing went when my mom died, i've had intense feeling of guilt and struggled with grief and yearning from it.

Also trans which coupled with that is kinda shit, but i'll get through it.

I have quite a few fetishes too, some get quite odd, like: bdsm, petplay, latex, lactation, egg laying, humiliation and other stuff that i'd rather not say.

>>30845055
bara men is pretty normie

>>30845055
Not him but how do you shower this little, even if it's an exaggeration? How can you stand the smell, the shame? Are all westerners this shameless?

>>30845007
Oi, i'm a Scot you cunt.

>>30845041
If you have gender dysphoria or think you do, i'd recomend seeing someone. I tried to repress it/ignore it and that made it much worse.

>>30845069
You get used to the smell. And there's no shame to be had if you barely go outside and stay locked up as a NEET all day.

>>30845065
>bara men is pretty normie
Not where I live

> even if it's an exaggeration
Well maybe I am exaggerating a little. But I've been in shower last time in november because a new mmo server was coming out.

>How can you stand the smell
I do not feel any smell.

>the shame
I quit my job to play world of warcraft and other mmos 20 hours per day. No shame in it.

>Are all westerners this shameless
I live in eastern europe russia and I'm also a slavscum.

>>30845111
When we say westerner we refer to all other continent including australia except africa, silly nuke man

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>>30845005
But I love you anon.
Please don't leave us.

>>30845217
No you don't. Love is a strong word, don't use it flimsily. You might hurt someone with it.

>>30845005
>but I think it is for the best
how can it be for the best? regardless of the issue I can guarantee it isnt for the best.

>>30845217
There'll always be another Anon to take their place.

>>30845237
Suicidal people have a very narrow mindset where dying seems like the only reasonable conclusion despite what other people believe.

So it's probably hopeless.

>>30845111
How do you afford to live like that though?

>>30844992
No you don't understand.
I also visited him when he was in coma, I cried my heart out. He looked so dead in the hospital.
When he woke up, duh legs were gone.
I think I should forget the money things.
But my mother would be mad, she upsets me. However my mom is stupid.
Also before the accident, he was my crush somehow.
He loves Pokemon...No, he loves what I love.
He is so cute I can't forget.
I realized something, thanks 4chan.
Peace from Paris.
Je taime

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i was molested by my stepdad but because I'm mentally ill I can't remember much about it

i'm also transgender make and I'm pretty sure being molested has a lot to do with why

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I've been unemployed for like 5-6 years now. I guess I'm just too autistic to be employable. I'm going to try to go back to school and make something of myself as my last attempt to make something of myself. I just want to make my mother proud. And maybe live in an apartment that isn't complete guttertrash I hope I make it.

>>30845227
What's your name?

>>30845472
Im in the same boat, i feel so damn pathetic

>>30845412
I hope you are serious and you put petty things behind you.

I'm sure he would love you forever.

>>30845374
I saved money from my high tier $1000/month job when I had one

>>30845809
Ah, not bad.

>>30844315
Austrian?

>>30845809
>$1000/month
>high tier
Dude what?

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>>30844823
>>30845005
>>30845005

Whelp you never gave me your name, so I just left it as anon. Hope this reaches you, and perhaps provides a modicum of relief to whatever you're going through. Merry Christmas, I really hope you reconsider your decision.
Also hope my trash-tier art skills don't trigger any artbros, pls no bully

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I was once molested by my sister's husband when I was 8I can't be bothered to care about that

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This thread just reminded me:
My cousin (about 2 years older than me, both of us boys) used to do sexual things with me like 'playing doctor' and aggressively playing with my junk, or lightly putting it in my butt (obviously neither of us were very big at the time)

I only ever saw him briefly after those times passed, but I didn't really think anything too poorly of him
I guess I slightly enjoyed it at the time, so I've always kind of thought 'whatever'

That and this site probably contributed to my bisexuality, I suppose

>>30845885
In russia this is high tier. Average is around $500 I think.

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2 years ago i got raped and wanted to kill.myself because of it, faked my death to my onlime friends and would have killed myself if my current girlfriend (im lesbian) didnt save me

I recently told my old friends why i did it but they dont believe me and dont want anything to do with me anymore

At least i still have my girlfriend

>>30846345
>i got raped
hot

>>30846345
How does one go about faking death? I consider doing it and start over.

>>30842989
Lusamine?

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I started a relationship over the internet with a guy who believed I was a girl. I slowly fell in love with him and realized that I was Bi(I have since double confirmed this irl, dudes lookin' good).

He found out the truth this year, revealed he also had a taste for men, but didn't find me attractive. I haven't been able to get into a normal relationship with anyone else because I keep comparing them to him.

I'm not sure I'll ever get over it.

>>30846539
Deleted my account everywhere and told everyone i was dead using my sisters account

I only faked it online, but it was in preparation for ending myself

I didnt go trough with it because of my current girlfriend

>>30846345
>I will never be raped
feels bad man

>>30844050
>lung disease and dementia
For us, it was Alzheimer's and pneumonia. I'm not afraid of being sick though. I'm just determined to keep my mind working.

>>30846598
Something very similar happened to me, except we stayed together for a while after he found out, because we'd known each other literally years and our feelings were too strong to just throw away.

But then he threw me away.

Takes a while, but you will get over him

>>30846773
>>30846456
Rape isnt fun

>>30847595
haha I bet you are TRIGGERED

>>30847156
i can't remember what was wrong with her lungs, and i don't really want to, so i just left it as some kind of unspecified lung disease
im happy i found someone who went through the same thing, i don't feel like i'm alone

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I might have anger issues or bipolar/borderline disorder or something like that (haven't ever had a diagnosis despite seeing a few different counselors a few times). Am kind of destructive at home (I know I have a problem and it makes me feel immensely guilty but everything feels out of control). I've treated my mom pretty shitty. I want to repair our relationship and fix my mistakes and am apalled that she loves me regardless. We've both made pretty terrible mistakes.

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>>30845566
I don't even care what society or my so called friends think of me. But my mother struggled for so long to both raise me and land a respectable job taking care of the disabled and elderly. Despite the state constantly shafting the health sector she's doing well for herself. I want to live up to the example she set.

I've never really expressed that to her though and I think it would be too difficult for me.

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>>30842928
As if I'd post real secrets.

>>30848429
you're right anon, imagine the repercutions of posting your secrets on an anonymous image board where the only way to find you is through your favorite pokemon, a trait you share with thousands if not millions of people world wide

>>30844892
>You don't have the free will to decide to have Asian blood instead of Mexican blood.

Dear god are you one of those people who puts "Japan" on their Deviantart profile to seem more exotic?

>>30848712
i think you misinterpreted that post

>>30843094
>>30843278

Assuming the former doesn't have any sexual connotations associated with it, there are plenty of places where you can take care of people and get paid for it. Granted they're not exactly glamorous and probably err on the depressing side of things.

>>30843644

You might like BDSM.

>>30843899
why are bjork fans like this

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When I was younger I was diagnosed with several mental disorders, but to not seem weird, I refused all treatment so I could keep all my friends. This just led to me losing every friend I ever make.

>>30844630
>>Thread is now girls bitching about their "hard" lives
do you really think that there were no girls in the last thread? Do you really believe that girls can't suffer?

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Masks and some layer of head transformation, even in contexts where they don't make sense, tend to get my motor running the most.

One time pondered the idea of Olympia getting some Ghost Rider-like flaming head from wearing some kind of rune (not unlike a Ben 10 villain) and fapped to that thought alone.

Further down the rabbit hole, things seem to only get more creepy, gross or both

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I went from attempting suicide 4 years ago to being the happiest I've ever been now

>>30849414
they can't

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>>30844861
>>30844871
Ah yes, because women aren't human beings who can feel any pain a man can and there aren't some areas of the world (key word being some, not all) where women are denied rights and treated like dirt because they were born women. And clearly the only problems they have are because of vaginas. Right, (You) keep telling yourselves that.

>>30849622
enlighten me then

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>>30844529
This is a pretty late reply, but it bothers people way less than you'd think. This is just me, personally, but if I had a girlfriend, I'd want her to be comfortable with her bodily functions around me, because I know how much it fucking sucks to like, hold in a fart or pee/poop all day, and I feel like two people who are close to each other shouldn't have anything to hide or be embarrassed about.

>>30849664
>>30849725
Not in the first world.

>>30842928
is this a yume nikki reference

>>30843455
What is your favorite ?

>>30844600
>you have parents who are willing to support you

*parent

My dad committed suicide, my man.

>they are people really important to me so they can easly hurt me.

Are they doing it on purpose? I can tell you right now, the people who are closest to you WILL hurt you the most, but that's because your feelings for them are so much greater. Remember, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy. But I think anything you might perceive as aggression is just simply not how you think it is.

>but some details, some crap I said, some thing they said or simply when I go to the bed I remember all is false and I just trying to believe it to don't be sad 24/7

Little things happen between people all the time, but it doesn't make them hate you or wish you were dead. That's just you being overly self conscious and projecting your fears of not being acceptable on other people in order to justify how you feel about yourself.

In the end, it feels like all of this is coming from you rather than the people around you. There's no big conspiracy going on where everybody decided to hate you. You're just interpreting their words and actions wrong because of how you see yourself, and what you think you deserve. Self esteem is something you really need to work on, from the sound of it.

Dragonite. Ever since G1.

I'm capable of making friends with nearly anyone. Normies, autists, ghetto niggers, high-society cucks, women, men, demigender quasiqueers, and everything in between. People just fucking like me for some reason. I also hate everyone. Like, everyone. I'm nearly incapable of seeing past their flaws. I hold them to a higher standards of ethics and morality than I hold myself. If anyone actually knew what I thought about them, I'd be a social pariah

>>30846345
>>30846599
I know who you are, stop spreading your lies here you attention whore

>>30850144
Curious, have you been able to use this to your advantage? Jobs? Gfs?

>>30845412
Dis-le en français si tu galères autant à parler en anglais !
Mais c'est super peu commun les mecs sans jambes en France, j'en croise jamais..

>>30849850
no
In the first world, they can be abused, kidnapped, raped, murdered. They can get sick, develop mental illnesses, suffer. Their loved ones can die, their loved ones can be hurt. All of those things can happen to men or women. Obviously it is nowhere near as bad as in non first world countries, but first world countries are more safe in general

>>30842928

speaking of forgotten ass pokemon....

>>30850144
My favourite has always been Dragonite as well but I WISH everyone liked me. I haven't had IRL friends in years.

>>30850267
They're given a much larfer safety net for any of that. If a woman's life is fucked up, the world will come to her rescue.

Ludicolo
I met a girl online and we dated for a little more than a year, and we had already planned my first visit. It was a long distance relationship and my first one to boot, so I was really worried of fucking it up . Recently she had told me that she wanted to drop out of college and join the military because "it's a lot easier and you get free stuff when you go back home"
I was absolutely against this, for like a million reasons, and I let her know that pretty clear. The next day, she just blocked me out of everything, deleted every account she used to talk to me with, and just left. I found one last email from her that said "it's over. Don't try to contact me"
This hit like a fucking truck. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to trust someone ever again

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This nigga.
I was once catfished by a gay fat filipino man who, due to my desperation, I believed was a 5'6" blonde qt for a whole year and I still suffer psychological damage from it. Insomnia, night terrors, anxiety attacks at night, etc.

>>30850340
I like you, anon.

>>30850239
I managed to land the rate I wanted in the Navy. Otherwise, I get out of so much shit with my higher-ups just by being me. Can't ever land a GF, though that's from lack of trying.

>>30850452
I won't tell you that she's handling the situation maturely at all, but if she's really serious about going into the military other than the reasons you stated, then she's not going to let anything hold her back. Maybe the cause is important to her. Maybe she felt like she couldn't have anyone stand in the way of her dream, and needed to do something before she caused you any more concern, or before you did more to try and keep her from making that decision. I suppose there's no way you'll ever know for sure, but that might be the best way to look at things if it helps you cope.

>>30850144
I read this in Fritz the Cat's voice

>>30850572
I honestly wouldn't have given a shit if she had a legitimate reason, but that was literally it. She loved starting shit and then dropping it when an easier option popped up. She had a lot of problems, and I helped her with everything I could. I just can't believe she did that to me. It completely destroyed me. I went from a friendly, happy go lucky guy to an apathetic asshole that doesn't believe a single word that anyone says. Phrases from her such as "I'll never like, just leave, I love you way too much for that" pop up at night and prevent me from sleeping.

>>30850452
Oh man she will be eaten alive in the military dude. She wont be anything more than a worthless cocksleve

>>30842928
Favorite: Delphox
Secret: I once recorded some kids shoplifting. They caught me and confronted me about it, after which I told them I had deleted the video. I then showed the kids my camera, and they did not see the video.

I didn't actually delete the video.

>>30850493
If it's not too much, how did you find out? Was he regretful?

>>30850656
I've had a similar situation to yours. Everything was so great for us, but then I noticed her mood dropping for about a week or two, then she told me one day out of the blue that she couldn't do it anymore, and then went back to her ex before the night was even up. There's a lot more to the story, but I'm gonna leave it there. This did a huge number on me considering my self-esteem was already in the dumps to begin with.

It's gonna sound bad, but something that's genuinely been helping me feel better about myself is getting angry. Don't continue to hold such a person on a pedestal if they're able to do something so heartless to you. In my case, this happened over half a year ago, but I can still say that I think about her every day and that I miss her and love her. But I've been allowing myself to feel angry at her, thinking of her as a hateful bitch for doing the things she did, thinking of everything she's ever told me as a lie. And I'm not gonna lie, it's been doing a small part in making me feel like I can do better. Like I can get somebody much better than her, and much more caring. It's been slowly helping me bury the good times that I can never get back. It's definitely not the greatest solution, but it's one of the only ways I've been able to cope even slightly with these lingering feelings. Just straighten yourself out and do whatever you can to move on, no matter how slowly it is. And you'll find people who you can trust, don't worry about that.

>>30850452
It's her loss, bro. If she can really just cut you off like that, then she didn't truly love you, and you deserve better.

>>30850791
Holy fuck, her mood also changed, just like in your case.
She also constantly said shit like "I've finally found a man that loves me and even finds me attractive, and I'm an ungrateful bitch that can't appreciate that!" and I would tell her that she's wrong and go on and on about how amazing and wonderful she was for hours. People usually go "well, use that experience to grow and learn from your mistakes" but I don't know where I went wrong and it's slowly killing me.

>>30850701
I broke it off before I found out, actually. I had doubts about "her" and kept trying to pry into "her" life to figure out why she wasn't willing to buy a webcam or visit me from two states away. "She" got mad. So I ended it.

Got curious like six months later and found an obituary for who she told me was her uncle. Looking at the obituary, her "uncle" had the same birthday she did. Funny that she had never mentioned that.
That's when I realized what the real issue was and why "she" never wanted me to see "her" over webcam.

He died from complications due to diabetes three months after I broke it off with "her."

>>30850953
Yikes

>>30850865
Mine also has severe self esteem issues, so there's a common thread there, I guess. And like you, I'd spend hours telling her how she's just fine and how she should value herself more than she does. I don't think that was the wrong thing to do, so I can't really tell you why your situation happened, and I'm sorry. Mine however just realized that she never loved me as much as her ex and then went crawling back to him. Which is a shitty fucking feeling when you became the person she confided in more than anyone else and allegedly the person she spent all of her waking moments thinking about.

Be grateful that you never met her IRL, because I met mine IRL twice and (almost) got intimate with her. While we didn't have sex, it was still my first sexual experience, and that's something that's always gonna stick with me, and there's a difference in the situation when you've had something that tangible with a girl, only for it to break off. Not trying to invalidate your problem by any means, but I'm just saying, you could have become MUCH more emotionally invested than you did, and could have been in a much more dire spot because of it.

>>30850981
hence the psychological damage.
I found out five years ago. I still don't know how to feel about it.
Should I feel angry that this person took advantage of me in the worst way? Should I feel glad that he died? Should I feel bad? Guilty? Embarrassed for being such a fucking deluded retard for a full year?
I don't know, man.

Fortunately I'm now happily engaged to an amazing woman, so there's that.

>>30851018
I'm conflicted, because I lack closure. She didn't talk to me, so I have to put the pieces together and move on. But then again, I don't even know if I really want an explanation. Perhaps it'll just be worse. I shared everything with her, and now that she's gone, I've lost everything. I can't enjoy the movies, games, or even bands I used to, because everything reminds me of her.
I think that I don't even know how to face this. I haven't cried, I'm not angry, I'm not even that sad. I just don't feel anything. And that's fucking scary, because usually I'm the "emotional" one.

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I sometimes go on a third party software and pretend to be one, just because the fantasy appeals to me and helps relieve stress.

Im aware it's heavily autistic though, so if you want something lighter, I make gmod screenshots, like these.

http://m.imgur.com/kftn50W,RXrBZpJ,Q6efibA,ZmUu8FB,KWFdKNC,RNCWyFq,iU7Bvle,CPvPfWU,hEb8lOo,ahN00Rs,nhvDxp0,FOemEZh,R2ZfMgG,x9sGiwP,ZotDLVL

>>30850666
Calm down satan.

And, assuming this is the American military, probably not. The Marines and maybe the Army would kick her ass, but Air Force and Navy are pussified to the max. Uncle Sam has completely obliterated the culture of the service in the latter two branches. Back then, of you told a recruiter that you're in for the gibsmedats, he'd rip you a new one, now free shit is their main selling point.

>>30851046
>Fortunately I'm now happily engaged to an amazing woman, so there's that.

That's all the excuse you need to leave all of that shit in the past. Catfishing happens all the time, just be happy that you never got physically threatened because of it.

>Should I feel glad
No, but you should feel relieved that he's no longer able to prey on you. Remember, he was the liar in all of this, not you.

>bad?
Not necessarily. You thought he was a different person than who he actually was, and you had no attachment to who he truly was.

>Guilty?
It's not your fault, so why should you? You didn't give him diabetes.

>Embarrassed
People get away with so much shit on the internet these days, you can hardly be at fault. I know it's rough having to live something like that down, but you were just trying to be a decent person in accommodating for him "shyness" that kept him from using a cam or mic. You might have also been a bit horny, bruh. But it's okay, we all make stupid choices when we wanna get ourselves off, sometimes.

>>30851046
Im really sorry about the psychological damage.

I'd say to try to let it go, but you've probably heard it a thousand times.

Here's my two cents though;

The guy was a human being, just like you. He had his own feelings, and if it went on for a long time, he was probably having his own psychological problems. I'm not defending him, he's dead. But I am saying that this man may have been really nice, and just fell into a mistake that went on too long. Or he was generally an asshole. Either way, he is dead. So dwelling on him, or villainizing him, is only going to hurt you more.

I don't believe his intent was malicious, you don't seem to have been scammed out of money or anything. Quite possibly it started sexual to him, and he couldn't end it, or he never intended to start anything at all, and never had the heart to tell you the truth. This is not actually uncommon at all. Quite possibly, you was some of the only company he had, and he actually just liked having you around in his final days.

My point is, you simply don't know the full story and never will, and while he undoubtedly did a shitty thing, you are able to live a happy life now. He didn't scam you, physically hurt you, and he never intended to emotionally hurt you. Ignorance really can be bliss, and while you found out the truth, I think the best thing you can do is accept that shit happened, but your life is unaltered by him, you have lots to live for and enjoy.

I was similarly manipulated by someone over the internet, and at the same time I also regretfully lied and hid very important truths from people for years. When truths come out, its best to just accept, forgive where applicable, and move on.

>>30851105
>I shared everything with her, and now that she's gone, I've lost everything. I can't enjoy the movies, games, or even bands I used to, because everything reminds me of her.

Again, I know this feel WAY too well. So many things I used to enjoy are tainted by her memories. But I'd say if it's been long enough and if you truly want an explanation, try sending her a message. Don't be confrontational about the military thing, because that's the last thing she wants to hear. Just ask her how life's been treating her, and naturally lead it into asking why she dropped you like that.

Are you working, anon? Even if you're a lonely shut in loser (like me), getting a job and being able to socialize with your coworkers from day to day is a really relieving feeling. I've had lots of days where I went into work feeling like an absolute emotional wreck, and then about halfway through the day, I just stop caring about it as much and feel like a weight's been lifted. I've even had a girl say that we should meet up, which I'm taking as kind of like being asked out, but also not really. But I'm glad that my friendship with her is increasing, and wouldn't mind if something were to come out of it. If you need a self esteem boost, just get a job, even a part time one like working at a grocery store. You'll meet great new people.

>>30849664
Passive aggression is for the basest of people. Smarten the fuck up. Someone else's struggle does not validate your own lack thereof, man or woman, you entitled piece of shit.

>>30851274
I can't message her, anon. She blocked me out of everything, literally everything. She has no facebook, and she deleted her steam account. She blocked me on kik and on whatsapp, and deleted my number and whatsapp itself from her phone.
I'm not working, I'm a full time student. I'm studying to be a translator, and fucking english reminds me of her. I almost failed an oral final just because of that, I had a hard time focusing on it. I have friends, and a girl I haven't seen in a while wanted to hang out with me, which is why I feel like I have no right to bitch about this. But I can't fully enjoy anything, and again, it's killing me. The night that she did that to me I couldn't sleep. I literally beat all ten classic megaman games in one day, almost as if I were a robot or something, with a blank expression on my face.

>>30851436
Send her a letter if you have to. If you have any mutual friends, ask them to make contact for you. Even if the reason behind this is painful, you really do need the closure, or else your mind will never be able to stop wondering about this. Even if it pains you to do so, let her know that you support her choices, and maybe she'll at least appreciate that sentiment enough to reach back out to you.

Which Mega Man is your favorite? I haven't touched any in a long time but I always liked 4.

>>30851607
I'll start with the megaman thing because seeing that spoiler was like the first thing that made me smile in days
4 is amazing, and my faves are 7, 10 and 2, but I love all of them. 10 especially since bass kicks ass and 7's music is probably my go-to video game ost
I don't know if I should send a letter, and we have no mutual friends. Anon, I did so much for her. I sent her a letter every month. I'm from Argentina, AKA third world shithole, so I had to use the few contacts I had to send stuff for her. I talked to one of my teachers that was going to the US so she could send her her birthday present. I picked up drawing for her and I'd draw her a random pokemon every day. It's all so...surreal. I still don't know what's happening. Fuck, I don't even know why I still wake up at all, let alone why I'm still able to study. I feel like this still hasn't hit me as it should so I'm stuck like this.

>>30851172
I've had lots of time to sort of put it behind me and my doctor recommended meditation to help me sort out the complicated feelings.

>>30851208
>never had the heart to tell you the truth
That's the conclusion I came to. Piecing things together over the time we were in contact, that's what makes the most sense.
At one point I had bought a plane ticket to come see her, but ended up not going because I didn't have her address. $400 down the hole.
I think he tried paying me back by sending me random shit. Clothes, a desk chair, et cetera.

Thanks for being real with me, guys. I expected a lot of "hahahaha faggot."

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There are so many wrong things with me.

First with my attitude, when I'm with my family I'm someone apathetic, and I usually act rude with them, which is why I usually stay locked in my room whenever I get home. But when I'm out, I feel really insecure about myself, out of sudden I act really kind to everyone and I even let others treat me like trash, basically my attitude completely turns into the opposite way it is.

I can't do anything because no matter what, everyday I say something cringey or mean irl, and for some reason everytime I'm feeling good, I remember such acts and fill myself with regret and struggle.

I'm always unsure about everything, I can't take decisions without feeling regretful, which is why I have one year since I haven't entered at an university, since I don't know what career should I pick.

I have difficulties explaining anything to anyone irl, which sometimes lead me to stay in blank when I'm talking.

Since I was 8 years old, I have been suffering a seasonal depression each winter related about my mother dying, or the earth being consumed by the sun (educational video did this to me), things I love ending out of sudden, what death feels like, what happens during death and the things that I won't see after suffering it.

Luckily I haven't suffered another one since 4 years.

>>30851811
>I think he tried paying me back by sending me random shit. Clothes, a desk chair, et cetera.
Oh yeah, absolutely, he must have felt like complete shit for what happened.

Like I said, the heartache is not worth it. He wasn't malicious, he just lacked self-control, and he clearly cared about you in some way, even if it was just to not hurt you.

It happened, try your best to accept that it did, and that its over, and that he didn't want you to hurt like this at all.

So what you must do is enjoy your life and move on, either to spite him for his hurting you, or to honor that he didn't want to cause you pain. Either way, just use this is a launching pad to jump and not look back. I bet he'd want you to never think about him again. Hell, it was probably a relief to him when you broke it off, because he didnt have the restraint to do it himself.

>>30850378
In what fucking world do you live in where the "world" comes to literally any woman's side just because she is a woman? Because not a single soul came to me when I was being abused for years and stopped showing up to school. They sure did care about a poor girl like me, huh?

>>30851895
Holy shit just kill yourself please

>>30852172
That anon's biased. You can totally have a vagina and be a shut in loser or suffer abuse. I do believe there's a tendency to consider Women as fragile beings that need care, however, so sometimes people treat them better than they would treat a male. But people are terrible and life will be kinda shitty no matter what you have going down there :^)

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>>30851762
Glad I could at least make you smile. That's some pretty good taste you have there. 7 is underappreciated but I think it's pretty cool. I think X did everything it did better, but both are still unique and fun.

If sending a letter is an option, then I think you should go for it. Unless you're comfortable letting her completely fade from your life without any explanation, that is. Just do what's best for you.

>>30851895
>There are so many wrong things with me.

But nothing's wrong with your taste in Pokemon. Swirlix is fucking amazing.

And I relate to most of your points besides the last one. Improvement starts with your own mind, though. Become conscious of those times when you feel like a shitty person and try to prevent them. Maybe apologize to people who you feel like you've wronged, and ask them to keep you under control from now on. You can recover from being a shitty person, but it has to start with you breaking out of your comfort zone.

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I like pokemon go better than most of the main series titles.

>>30852278
The most disgusting confession in this whole thread.

>>30852277
X is on a whole another level, yeah. But I think 7 has a lot of charm.
And I don't even know what is best for me...I'm in finals week so I'm just getting that out of the way, but then? I don't know...it's hard

>>30852391
Yeah, focus on school work, that's more important at the moment. And it is hard, I know. But you need to do whatever will help you to move on. Just do what's best for you.

>>30852575
Not the same anon but
>just do what's best for you
>I don't know what's best for me
>just do what's best for you
Made me kek

>>30852709
I'm really sorry, I don't have a handle on the whole situation and sometimes I just don't know what to say. Also I'm getting interrupted my real life stuff at the moment so I'm losing my place in the convo a bit.

>>30842989

You sound like a huge faggot that watches too much anime

>>30852825
Thank you, anon.

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My father has harassed both my brother and my mother. 12 years ago he left us and took all of our money. We had to move from our house due to our mom not feeling safe.Recently he has tried to contact me and wants me to move with him to Scotland.

>>30853161
I'm guessing he's fellong bad about it all?

Do you see him at all? Also where abouts?

>>30853373
Wow my amazing spelling, *feelings.

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Once my dad dies, I plan on living off of the money I'll inherit. I'll get about a million dollars, so if I live alone, I could sustain that million for about 10-20 years, not accounting in taxes of course. If I don't have a job or a wife before that money runs out, I'm going to buy a gun with the last of my money. I'll let you take that as you will.

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Ayy babypants anon here.
Recently had a fight with my bf, we split apart for a few days. We came together though after I noticed he still hadn't deleted me on Steam or Discord and I asked why he didn't. Turns out he was just stressed about getting less work hours. Now we're back together and discussing about wearing skirts around the house and who gets to jerk off who first.
Haha, relationships are funny sometimes.

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I still tend to suck my thumb.

>>30853650

>If I don't have a job or a wife before that money runs out
>If I don't have a job OR a wife

B isn't coming without A

>>30853650
I've thought about that, except with less killing myself

>>30853671
Disgusting.

>>30853747
And/or*

>>30853749
That part isn't finalized of course. It mainly depends on if I can get the motivation to get my shit together.

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>>30844771
My boyfriend just has one leg.He has prosthesis. Sometimes he is in the hell, when he has his phantom pains.
Sometimes I also cry, it's so painful, I think.

So my stupid secret, is that I use his prosthesis as a dildo. He adores it.

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>>30853770
Thanks for giving me feedback anon, I appreciate it. Would you also care to know about how he'd gingerly cuddle me at night while we share a blanket and stare at the stars together?

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I'm a diagnosed psychopath. No one in my family knows. Neither does my partner.

>>30842989
>>30844627
Is someone who donates a lot to charity just to brag about it worse than someone who donates a little out of pure selflessness?