Favorite pokemon Darkest secret

>>30567331
>favorite Pokémon
I don't have a favorite because I'm not racist and I like all Pokémon equally.

>>30567360
Don't you have a Reshiram cock to be sucking, N?

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>>30567331
Pic

i'm a pretend Normie and I play Pokémon it and go on 4Chan in shame

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That one.

i pretend to be one on kik

try and deface my autism throne

>>30567331
Spaghetti squash

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Pic related is my fave pokemon.

I'm a petty thief

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Pic related.

I'm struggling with my sexual identity

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I'm a schizophrenic

Glaceon

I committed incest

>>30567663
Pikachu
Same

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>>30567331
Decidueye

[spoilerowls aren't birds][/spoiler]

>>30567700
i have failed my spoiler

now everyone will know

>>30567699
What was yours?

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I'm going to commit murder.

Toxicroak
cheat on girlfriend with someone younger and do all sorts of kinky bdsm/torture shit to her

my girlfriend is the best though. been together a long time. Became turbonerds about this poke release, fighting, breeding, and trading for completion and we're pretty close.

Heliolisk
I wish I had a dick

>>30567729
Don't worry, spoilerowls still aren't birds.

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Parsect

I've played only stall since 1996

Tyrantrum/Charizard

Am vorephile, weight gain after digestion is another kink of mine

>>30567809
>cheating on your significant other

truly the worst people

>>30567858
you monster
me too

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>>30567575
I cannot deface your autism throne.
As I am part of said Kik.
Pic related is probably my favorite

>>30567809
This is why Lillie left

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>>30567331
Cinccino
I tell my family I have a stable housing and financial situation but I'm actually living out of my car

Deoxys

I only play on cart

>>30567858
Shit, I misspelled Parasect. Kill me.

preferably over 100 turns

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Slowpoke
I am a hikiNEET who hasn't left his house in the last 3 years. I became a hikiNEET after getting a degree, which I have hanging in the door of my bedroom.

Oshawott line

Dunno, hm...I like Hau

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Cheer bird

>>30567861
same

>>30567331
Empoleon

I am legitimately scared about alot of things in the upcoming future.

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Planning on killing myself on the 27th

kadabra

i have a recurring sexual fantasy of sucking my dad's dick and being his fuckboi maid

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Pic related

I ERP on /trash/ and am mostly responsible for the general decline of the threads there because I dragged my online relationship with another ERPer there into the public threads and doxxed him. I'm a guy too.

I also use CM mega sableye religiously on showdown, he's a staple in every one of my teams.

>>30568118
Why the 27th in particular?

>>30568118
Don't

>>30568168
It's my 25th birthday. Just tired.

>>30567663
>>30567699
this needs stories

>>30568214
Well, it doesn't get any better, I'll give you that.

>>30567809
You guys obviously aren't THAT close.

>>30568214
Wait until the 28th, birthdays are for taking it easy.

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I'm 8 years away from being a wizard

>>30567803
Whom do you plan to murderlize

>>30568118
do you have family? Friends?

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When someone asks me if I study while I'm at campus, I always say "yeah sure", but I'm just a slacker like most of my other friends. I'm preparing myself however to have my brains blown out when the hard years are going to come

>>30567803
Have fun in jail.

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I crave death, but I care too much for my family to put them through

Fucking empathy

>>30568309
>22

You still have time

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>>30568394
>not 2 years past redemption
Fucking tool.

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I pick my nose and I'm 18

>>30568447

what the fuck? you sick fuck

>>30567928
>>30567575
You two sound like cucks.
like me. How may I reach this mystical Kik?

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>>30568309
My brother is a health/financial burden on the entire family. He is a pothead and a drug dealer who stinks up the house and risks getting my parents fired. There is no reasoning with him. My mother does nothing because she is a deflector and pretends nothing is wrong. Step-father can't do anything because of mother. Police have already been tipped off last month, nothing came of it.

Also, he has a gun.

>>30568358
That's okay. My life sucks anyway.

>>30568502

I hope your brother shoots you in self defense

>>30568313
Yes I have friends although I'm not close with any of my family besides my father. Ive tried to talk about it. Only made them feel awkward. I had some severe health problems as a kid. Suffered from depression since I was 12. Just tired not sure what's left. Sorry didn't mean to blog.

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I don't wish to self-diagnose but I probably have some degree of avoidant disorder.
i hate myself

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>>30567331
Shinx
I'm bisexual but I like more women than men

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>>30567331
pic related is favorite

my secret is that I have a disgusting (but totally legal and 100% only involves humans) fetish associated solely with degenerates and autists[/spoilers]

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>>30568365
me too. my parents are getting old, maybe someday

>>30568502
Don't kill him, just frame him

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this adorable fuck

All my friends are moving away after this semester, I'm terrible at meeting new people, and I've had shit luck getting dates the past few months. I'm terrified I'm going to end up completely alone once they leave.

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>>30567331
Base friend scribbles on walls and doesn't afraid of anything.

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Favorite is pic-related.

I've sunk a lot of time and money to learn a trade that seemed interesting but now it looks like it'll be a job I hate and I'm terrified for my future.

I masturbate to absolutely fucking degenerate porn and I'm disgusted with myself.

The only thing holding me back from suicide is my Christmas faith and my grandma.

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>>30567331
Slowpoke

When I was in 6th grade I slept over at a friends and the next day when he was showering and his parents were gone, I stole a pair of his mom's panties and took them home and masturbated to them. I was always paranoid his mom would say something but she never did thankfully

>>30568502
Double up with your step-dad and force him the fuck out. Find a way to take the gun out of the picture before this though. Your mom may hate what you've done for a while, but thats better than going to jail.
>>30568394
>>30568446
It certainly feels like I'm past redemption at times. And there's a few hot girls where I work too, but I can't bring myself to ask any of them out. Plus I don't like socializing much at work anyway. End blogpost

Minior

I try to maintain a "pure" image but in reality I'm a huge pervert, I already had sex with another guy. I really hate it, but I can't find a way to stop.

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I can't ride a bike.

My parents tried to teach me multiple times when I was in elementary school but it didn't work out, even going as far as buying me another new bike in 5th grade, but it just sat in the garage and made me wish they used that money to buy me a new game. They tried guilt tripping me over it like saying my friends would invite me for bike riding as if they'd have a spare one for me to use, or that we wouldn't be playing vidya instead. It's been 15-20 years later but I'm not interested in learning, not that I ever was.

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Scizor

When I was 15 years old before highschool I was spotted masturbating in class. I don't want to get into details...

>>30567731
>>30568247
Femanon here. Sister is 2 years older than I am. Had no boundaries in our youth and it got normalized to be closer than appropriate. Became best friends later in life and found out our sexualities were really similar. Neither of us really acknowledge it as incest out loud, it's sort of our unspoken friends-with-benefits sort od deal. Occasionally we joke about it the way two people who weren't banging would. Secretly I just want to straight up and just have a relationship but I think that would seriously freak her out.

>>30568643
>I'm terrified I'm going to end up completely alone once they leave.

don't worry, you probably will. These will likely be the last true friends you have before becoming a true self-sufficient adult. Either you'll grow out of needing friendship outside of the occasional co-worker, or the thought of being alone will terrify you so much you'll settle on a relationship with the first woman who gives you attention just because you need the companionship even though you know deep down she's not the one.

Enjoy the rest of this semester.

Mismagius

I have no work ethic and no real interests. Once I graduate this year, I don't know what the hell in going t do with my life.

also, I think I know you kik people.

>>30568710
Well there's a difference between sex and a GF though

>>30568728
You need to go into detail. What were you thinking? Why did you think something like that would be okay? Did you really think you wouldn't get caught?

also I did the same thing in 8th grade but no one noticed because i was a girl and wore loose sweatshirts lol

>>30568808
>settle on a relationship with the first woman who gives you attention just because you need the companionship even though you know deep down she's not the one
>implying I don't already do this

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I'm not really happy with my girlfriend anymore, but I'm afraid she'll kill herself if I broke up with her

>>30567611
How is that even possible? Do you not know what you are attracted to?

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>>30568808
Fuck off anon

We need a comfy thread

>>30568716
You're not alone. When I was 6, I feel of a bike so badly, I just stopped riding it all together. Years passed I still have zero idea how to ride one. I tried to when I was around 14 or 13, but quickly gave up after. I'm not a fat guy to say thatI can't keel my balance, it's just that I lack any skill to properly hold that bar. That accident messed me up really bad

Charizard

no one is reading any of these posts besides the first few and the ones that already have a lot of replies

>>30568247
Glaceonfag here, I'll green it for you

>Be me, 23
>Aunt in her late 40s wants someone to help her put up an Ikea wardrobe, I'm the only one available to help so I go alone
>Aunt is chunky but in the good way
>I offer to build the thing alone but she insists on helping
>Once it's all laid out we start putting it together
>Aunt always manages to put herself between me and whatever I need
>At first I go around her but eventually say fuck it and start reaching over/under her
>She starts doing the same thing and it ends up like a game of Twister
>She always manages to brush against certain places
>Little anon starts to attention and she obviously notices
>After a while of this I turn around to see she's taken her t-shirt and bra off
>While I sit there in shock she shoves her tongue down my throat
>I'm a tfw no gf so I decide that I'd best take the opportunity
>We fuck like rabbits for the next few hours
>Never done it or talked about/acknowledged it since, I'd do it again in a heartbeat but it's too awkward to bring up in conversation and we're never alone together anyway

>>30568728
>>30568831
Just do it in the bathroom. Christ

>>30567997
What do you mean? Do you mean you don't play online?

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>>30567331
Pic related

I think I poisoned my great uncle to death accidentally

>>30568870

I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings, I'm just saying that's how it usually works for most people who suck at making friends after college

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Favorite is Emolga.

I fingered my girlfriend in the middle of class during my senior year.

>>30568861
try to get her to see a doctor for meds or something. That doesn't sound healthy for either of you

shiftry

i'm 80% sure i've had early onset schizophrenia since i was 12 but i didn't get diagnosed properly, my therapist was shit and preoccupied with the legal issues of me not attending school. spent ages 13-16 in a psychotic haze and i'd only leave the house once a month at max, i can barely remember anything other than being yelled at a lot and replying with word salad

>>30568938
We go on the internet to get away from This reality

>>30568887
I do

>>30568831
h-hot

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I haven't showered for at least a week

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I still wet my bed on occasion

I'm starting to get it under control though, it only happens maybe once every couple of months

it's also why I'm terrified of getting in a relationship with someone

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>all these depressed niggas
Sheesh.

I ran over my best friend's dog.

>>30568887
I'm reading them all. I always read these threads.

>>30568214
Just turned 27. Celebrate your birthday even if you are alone, it makes it much easier. I spent my birthday alone and had a great time. The release of SM the next day helped though.

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This unviable cutie.

I am a senior in college. Whenever I need to tie my shoes I have to look up a video because I really just can't remember how to do it. I usually just slip them on and they stay tied for a month or two. I passed Calculus III and Discrete Mathematics but I can't grasp shoes.

I also occasionally draw Wigglytuff porn and then never post it online

Venusaur

I genuinely think I have some sort of mental disease.

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>favorite poke
Oshawott

>Darkest secret
Almost exactly the same as >>30568763 except I'm a guy and fucked my brother

>>30569008
Story?

>>30569032
>second spoiler
You should totally share it.

>>30568643
If you truly value their friendship, find a way to keep in touch with them.
>>30568570
Shit I think I might have that too.At the very least, it matches up with a lot of my reasoning for why I don't actively socialize. You have some good taste btw
>>30568557
You need to talk with them. Of course it'll make them uncomfortable, but death makes most people uncomfortable.
>>30568715
Do you hate it because you know you're not really "pure", or for for another reason?
>>30568716
I have a friend who's 20 and can't ride one either. Don't sweat it too much.
>>30568728
Well now you have to tell us. At the very least, tell us why you didn't just ask to go to the restroom

>>30568887
I am

>>30569032
You should just untie them every time you take them off, and then retie them every time until you get used to it

also life hack, pull the string, not the loop to untie it easily

post the porn

>>30568990
i wouldn't mind being in a relationship with a bed wetter honestly, even if it was a lot more frequent than you said.
go forth and fine love, anon

>>30569069
>If you truly value their friendship, find a way to keep in touch with them.
I'll probably keep in touch with them as best I can, one friend has moved away in the past and we stayed in touch somewhat well. But a lot of my friends in the past have gotten out of touch, even when I do make something of an effort to stay in touch. I'll live, I guess.

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Seismitoad

My dog ran away about 2 months ago through a crack in the fence.I could've made Lost dog posters but my laziness prevented me from doing it.Now I have guilt attacking me every day

>>30568728
>>30568831
I know how that feels my dudes, got caught jerking off by a police officer when I was 12

Sableye is my fav btw

>>30569172
I'm glad your dog ran away you fucking subhuman trash

>>30569058
I drove over to her house to hang out, and she let her dog out to pee when I arrived. This dog was also a shih-tzu, so it was really tiny. Thing is, I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings when I was pulling in.
Ba-bump.

>>30569147
Skype/Facebook/Twitter/Internet in general has made staying in touch with people you care about easier than ever.

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>>30567663
Klinkang
Me too

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>>30569175
>Fellow sableyefag is also a degenerate

Epic

>>30569069
Minior anon here.
That's part of it, but it's also because it makes me even more confused about my sexuality, among other things.

>>30568955
me too but it was at an eatery at Universal Studios in front of 2 friends and they didn't even notice

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This guy is the bee's hees.

20 years of living and I STILL can't figure out how to whistle

>>30569175
I got caught jerking off on a bus once and the driver chucked me off in the middle of nowhere at 11PM

>>30568888
Hot
>>30568826
True, but I have no game. Plus, I'm not willing to pay/I don't have money to pay for sex, and I get attached to peole fairly easily. I'd rather not start carrying a torch for a one night stand.

>>30569032
I can remember how to do it, I'm just bad at the knot. I'm an eagle scout. That's not my secret, it's just ironic.
Get slip-ons like I do. Merrells and Clarks are good and can look dressy.

>>30567331
Decidueye
I didn't start playing pokemon until I was in high school

>>30568557
I try to empathize with everyone but severe depression is such a fucked up shit I don't even try. I get a little depressed but I always have good self-esteem and a lack of self-improvement so even when things are not good I'm apathetic at worst.

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I like Mawile.

I fear any kind of intimacy. Even getting pat on the back from really close friends makes me massively uncomfortable.

>>30569261
He looks too fucking cool, I wish you could've found elgeyems around the same area you find cleffas and miniors in sm

>>30568907
couldn't masturbate in the school bathrooms because there was always a teacher monitoring bathroom use. You had to sign in/out and the teacher would come in and tell you to get out if you spent more than five minutes. Nothing worse than almost being finished but getting interrupted by a man in his 50s screaming at you and pounding his fist on your stall door

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I start wildfires. Three in the past two years. I get paid to do it but I'd do it for free.

>>30568715
If you were a woman you would be really normal desu

>>30567331
Machamp
I have a fetish which I only mention to my close friends. CLOSE FRIENDS

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>>30569337
>

>>30568669
Your grandma sounds cool. Do it for her.

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>>30569352
Explain

>>30569069
>You need to talk with them
I've tried, I think they are just waiting for me to just go and do it at this point. Last time I tried to hang myself I tried to talk about it with my dad and best friend. Received the same response of dont be a pussy. I just dont feel much anymore.
Thanks though anon. It does feel somewhat better to talk about it.
[Spoiler]even if it is on 4chan

>>30569352
holy shit elaborate

>>30568168
A lot of famous people die at 27 so i guess he wants to be part of the snowflake club

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I want friends but I can't stand humans in general

>>30567331
Fuck it, all the cool kids are doing it

I'm into fat chicks. Haven't told anyone, but it's kind of obvious at this point so whatever.

>>30568861
Does that turn you on? Because it's turning me on.

>>30569352
how can I get in on this

>>30569352
Let me guess, you set fields on fire to burn all the dead vegetation, right ? If not, explain

>>30569393
Sometimes firefighters in certain U.S. states enjoy getting additional funding, but need an emergency to receive it. Sometimes people enjoy collecting on insurance over vast tracts of land. I help them out.

>>30568808
This is actually a good post. Most adults lack friends

>>30569365
and by that I mean I had it when I was 9.
A GODDAMN NINE YEAR OLD FETISHIST.

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I was raped as a child and it's made it impossible for me to function as a normal human being

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>>30569466
Fuck, forgot this

>>30568118
Please dont Anon.

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I've been thinking about and planning suicide for about 5 years now and i'm STILL too much of a pussy to do it. Also, all of the "porn" I jack off to isn't sexual at all and it's the only thing that can get me off.

>>30569466

What about fat chicks makes them hot? Do you strictly prefer them over skinny girls or do you like both?

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>>30568763
>>30569054
>>30568888

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>>30569194
>thread for telling dark secrets
>gets mad at someone for telling secret

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>>30568669
[Spoiler] Stick with the career and save as much money as you can. Don't let go of what you actually want to do, and when you've saved up enough funds or the opportunity arises, jump ship. It's a risk, but it's better than sitting and wondering what if, you know?

Also, no such thing as 'degenerate' porn. I'm into animal scat, and it can't be much worse than that. Everyone's fuckin weird, but they just don't admit it. Besides, it has no effect on anyone except yourself and your SO, and the fact there's porn of it means you're not the only one.

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Poliwhirl

I guess its relatively normal stuff here but I would die if anyone saw the stuff I fap to. I basically only fap to hentai at this point, I just find most regular porn unattractive. I'm mostly ashamed as it actually started effecting me psychology, had to stop faping to loli. I still fap to relatively weird stuff but it's toned a bit down now. At the least I never became a furfag, furries are disgustinh.

Also depression and that shit but I see a therapist and am on meds, really helps. I think without my family I would end it. More then anything I just want friends.

>>30569431
I'll be 25.

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Larvitar

My mother molested me when I was 4

>>30569355
In a doujin maybe, but this is real life.
>>30569352
What the hell

>>30569563
>I'm into animal scat
THERE HE IS, BOYS

LET'S KICK HIS ASS

>>30569480
There are several volunteer fire departments across the country. I started by helping them out and getting to know the county chiefs.

>>30569488
That sounds fucking awesome.

>>30568988
Depends on your body but I've gone over 2 weeks easily.

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>>30569563
>Also, no such thing as 'degenerate' porn
You're gonna need a real good explanation for-
>I'm into animal scat
mfw

>>30569625
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgUwpb3I98M

>>30569466
I'm sorry man but I can't help but laugh at you.

>>30569172
Anon, posters don't do shit. It's not on you.

>>30569563
I hope you're not that Nihilego poster from a while back

Groudon
I occasionally fap to an MLP flash game

>>30569624
>In a doujin maybe, but this is real life.
My real life experience disagrees with you. Not even trying to make the "women are whores" argument.

Mimikyu
My autism/depression combo are making me grow further and further away from people. I'm 24 and don't want to leave home because I'm afraid I'll try to kill myself again living on my own, even with a 70k/year job. I've dated in the past but I just don't like myself or anyone else enough to consistently maintain relationships.

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Gardevoir
I robbed a gas station at gunpoint and got away with it

>>30569026
Contrary to most people, the best years of my life were high school. It was all downhill from there. For some people it's college, others it's after college.

I've never had fun like that again.

>>30569534
What gets you off, anon?

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Pic related, he's my Sm4sh main.
When I was 13, I killed my neighbor's dog. He still doesn't know. Also, I cucked my science teacher in high school.
>inb4 recovering chuuni
Both of those happened by accident and I still regret both immensely.

>>30569699
Nah, jellyfish aren't really my thing.

>>30569652
Eh, doesn't bother me too much. I don't know you irl, and you don't know me, so it has absolutely 0 effect on either of us what we think.

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>>30569655
that was perfect

Porygon-Z
I still have no idea what I want to do in life and I'm scared thinking about what I'll do after I get out of college

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This rockstar has been my bro since gen 4. Not the confession, but this, my Staraptor and my Torterra are all from Gen IV and are some of my very first pokemon, of which I've kept for years on end. They're like, 8 IRL years old or something.

I am a pure submissive deviant. Two dragon dildos (Kelvin and Rex), three "Masters" that I take sexual commands from, and a 5+GB porn folder, at least 1 GB of it being my waifu, Ribbon from Kirby 64.
As you can guess, hearing about Ribombee's Shiny made me pretty hyped to say the least.

>>30569511
Explain friend

Marowak

I have a big SPH fetish and I'm extremely sexually submissive. I trick, manipulate, or entreat girls from random chat websites into making fun of the size of my Dick so I can masturbate. I often keep up an online correspondence with the girls I meet this way, and I've become very close to a few of them. My favorite one was 14 when I started talking to her, but she lied for the first few months I knew her and said she was older. I'm 26.

>>30569615
>>30569511
>Story?

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Garchomp

I'm seriously addicted to this website.

I'm scared ;-;

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Not gonna lie, I love Corsola. They're just so cute.

I also love Mareanie because they eat Corsola, which amuses me. What the fuck does that say about me?

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>Golem

>I have a lot of key signs of Schizophrenia (Constant intrusive thoughts, overactive imagination, bowel problems) but I can't tell whether or not I can say I actually have it since I don't hallucinate or anything like that
>many of my fetishes involve necrophilia or bodily harm, which both does and doesn't go well with my condition

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>>30569782
>naming your dildos
Holy shit.

>>30569782
>>30569782
>my first pokemon
>tthey're so old! they're like 8

you must be underage

>>30569782
I wouldn't have guessed over 1GB of Ribbon porn exists. At least you have good taste.

>>30569755
Whyd you kill the doggo

>>30568990
Don't worry anon. Someone will still love you. My boyfriend had the same problem. We've been together eight years. Go out and seek love.

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I occasionally let my dog fuck me while I jerk myself off to pegging doujins

>>30569405
It takes balls to decide to end one's life. There's nothing cowardly about that.

The cowardly part comes from the idea that you seem to have either exhausted every possible option or that you are blind to any options that are there. Your dad and friend are being dicks though if they're not trying to at least help you find options or someone to talk to who'd care more than them.

>>30569488
Name a "wildfire" you're responsible for? Doesn't have to be recent.

>>30569729
>$70k
If you make that much, even after taxes/expenses, you could probably afford a therapist/meds.
>might try suicide
It's never hopeless. Don't give up! As often as possible, find and do something that makes you happy, then make a record of it.
>don't like yourself enough to maintain a relationship
I wish I could reach through the Internet and hug you.

>>30568831
Scizor anon here that's pretty hot we should hang
>>30569069
ok. First of all it wasn't my school it was my mom's (she is a teacher) and I was there to help here with some school work. She left for a meeting and I was left alone in a classroom. From there I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT GOT INTO ME I was a fucking middle schooler and the dick took control over me I mean I left it out of the pants and everything. And when when I was done I heard some laughters. Guess what some high schooners were peeping through the keyhole. Now I don't remember making noise so I don't know what tipped them off. Then they entered the classroom and started laughing at me. I was just standing there petrified hoping they are not in my mom's class or know anything about us being related (luckly they didn't). Then they left and I hid in a fucking locker until they stopped coming. Needless to say this event haunted me for months.

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>>30569831
You don't know what "addicted" means.
I've been here since 2006.
THERE IS NO ESCAPE.

Raichu

I think I'm becoming urinary incontinent. Sometimes I dribble during the day and I keep wetting the bed. I know I should go to the doctor but I'm embarrassed. My life is falling apart

>>30569880
Your dog will start attacking you and your visitors, idiot.

>>30567360
But some are more equal than others

>>30569743
Soft crush, and good quality videos of insects eating other insects.

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Gengar

I probably have a son, when I was 15 lost my virginity to my 21 yr old maid, months later she suddenly had to leave and we lost contact. Years later found out about it, fear one day a teen will suddenly appear looking for me(im 25).

>>30569833
You don't have schizophrenia.
Schizophrenia isn't like other psychological disorders; there's no ambiguity. Your mind works fundamentally differently and even if you didn't realize it, people around you would've by now.

>>30568031
Top kek

>>30569954
Was she hot at least anon?

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My first kiss was with my cousin when I was 7yo and she 9yo. She brought me to my grandma's room, then closed the door and then kissed me, with the excuse that she wanted to practice kissing boys.

>>30569850
>not knowing that BD names their dildoes

>>30569952
Woah, that shits intense. Favorite insect to watch eat / get eaten?

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Butterfree

I feel like I'm way too forgiving, and I let people use my feelings against me just so I'll feel accepted by someone because I'm so alone.

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>>30569802
I am legitimately terrified of pretty much anyone that isn't family. Even friends of the family I have a hard time even being around. I barely go outside because I'm so paranoid that something's going to happen to me. I only go to college, where I always keep quiet and to myself no matter what, and then I come home. I can't make friends because I don't know how to talk to other people. I either stutter or my sentences always fade off into mumble. I suffer frequent anxiety attacks if I'm not careful. I've had relationships because a couple girls actually went out their way to get to know me and put up with my neuroses but I found out how utterly incapable of sexual intimacy I am which caused my partners to cheat on me which threw trust issues on top of all that. I have been in an out of therapy, on and off medication, and on frequent suicide watch.

>>30569830
My parents left me alone with a male friend of the family when I was little and in short, he had his way with me.

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>>30569850
No, those are the product names. I didn't name them.
>>30569861
No, I transferred them from my Pokemon Pearl games from when I was ten or so, from 4th gen all the way to now. I actually did find my Pokemon Pearl game last month or so while cleaning out everything for Christmas. It doesn't work anymore.
>>30569869
Best Nintendo 64 Fairy.

>>30569916
What was 4chan like in 06?

>>30569927
>I know I should go to the doctor but I'm embarrassed.

Dude, doctors have seen weirder shit. Obviously they won't tell you about it due to doctor/patient confidentiality, but trust me when I say that is far from the worst thing. All those stories about things like having large, phallic shit shoved up peoples' assholes? Yeah, those are true.

For real. Go see a doctor. They look at penises for a living. If anything, that's more embarrassing than what you have.

>>30569903
Yeah, I'm on medication, plus the hospital I work with offers a lot of good benefits. Most days it's great anymore, but I just worry with how I isolate myself, I'd fall back into the severe depression that ushered in my first suicide attempt. Sending you hugs back, friendo.

>>30569831
Don't despair yet. I was in the same situation, but I got out. Then again, this board is the only place I visit so I don't think it was that hard. It just takes really strong will

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Azumarill

I have these strange bouts of nihilism every few months, if that makes any sense. I change into this pseudo-split personality that I can't control. I'm legitimately afraid I'm going to kill someone.

>>30568118
don't kill yourself on my birthday you faggot

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>>30568309
Nice, I'm six years away.

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>>30568570
my nigga

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>>30569974
That's good

>>30570024
Userbase was much younger, and the culture was less developed, so what would pass for normal posting back then would be considered the worst of shitposting these days.
Everyone was super excited about everything, even dark and depressing shit.
It was more "wild west" as far as what content was allowed.
Also, all the good drawfags were the same person pretending to be multiple people.

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>>30569807
wat
>>30569831
>pic related
don't let it happen to you
>>30569880
I'd stop that. If you don't stop it, YOU need to be the one in control of when it happens and not the dog.
>>30569909
Well, at least you weren't in the middle of class like I thought.

>>30570017
I thought this was the Pokémon board

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Meowth

I don't know about my secret. I'm really autistic, not fitting with the society, regretting my career choices, no girlfriend (or boyfriend) ever. Honestly, even though I'm a mess of a person, I can't think of anything that big of a dark secret.

On second thought, I wash my hands a lot more than most people. I'm disgusted with touching other people or things that other people touched, or things that touched things that other people touched. They've been almost red, but they're recovering now.
Wouldn't call it a secret though, some people know about it because I told them.

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Gotta go with my favourite cat.

My brain is a broken mess of mental disorders most notably including the autisms and OCD and I cry every few weeks over my lack of friends and I legitimately believe I'm going to die alone.

>>30569261
I learned to whistle by sucking in air instead of blowing it out first. Then I learned to do it normally.
Reasons whistling sucks;
>you forget you can do it
>it annoys the people around you
>you'll never be good at it
Just listen to some Andrew Bird.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGAzPtwUJJU

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I contemplate suicide at times because of how little hope I have for my future and that I have very little determination to do things that require a lot of work, yet at the same time that same flaw is what's preventing me from every coming up with a plan as I fear the pain that comes with death, and I just don't have the resources or ways to do it without raising suspicion from my family.

>>30570054
Can you feel it coming on, like a sneeze? Or do you just wake up in that mood every so often?
If you just wake up like that, you probably do need help. My heart goes out to you, anon. Please get help.

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>>30569996
a bit chunky (pear shaped) with great tits, a 5-6/10

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>>30569563
>No such thing as 'degenerate porn'
>I'm into animal scat
I'm fucking crying

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>>30567331
sableye

I've browsed /d/ every day for the past 5 years

>>30570061
Sorry dont mean to ruin it.I hope you do have a good one though

Noivern

I've had a chronic illness for the last 16 years and I just want it to stop or kill me already. I think about suicide constantly, but I don't want to do it to my family. Every year I get a bit worse, and lose a bit more of who I used to be. I don't leave the house anymore and I lost touch with all my friends. At what point does watching me turn into a pathetic lump become more depressing than finding out I offed myself?

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Latias.

I might've been molested when I was younger and blocked it out somehow/forgotten. From a young age I knew far too much about sex, and at like... 8 years old I was drawing explicit pictures of people engaged in sex acts and shit. Apparently that can be a symptom of abused kids. I've never talked to anyone about this, even my parents when they discovered my drawings. It just got swept under the rug and forgotten

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>>30569952
when I was 5 yo I put a lot of different insects in a glass jar because I wanted to create some sort of artificial ecosystem. Obviously they all died and a week later I opened the jair. Worst thing I've ever smelled in my life

>>30570017

I was exactly like you for a while. I feel like most of it was due to trauma and isolation I lived through from 18-22. Then I got a job where I had to deal with people every day (started as a stocker at a store, then ended up being cashier, then manager) and it slowly weaned me off my fear of people.

One day I just walked into work and realized "holy shit, everyone else is an idiot and have their own problems too" and from that point on I felt pretty comfortable in my own skin.

I also talked to a few family members about my anxiety problems and traumatic experiences I had in my life that I had kept to myself for years. I think that, along with the job forcing me to communicate with people, cured me.

>>30570159
Exactly. If I'm this fucking weird and I can accept it, then hopefully it makes the other people here feel a little bit less insecure about their psyche as well.

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>>30568118
DO IT FAGGOT

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>>30570007
Any kind of mantis / butterflies. Something about such a frail and pretty insect being eaten is more arousing than other insects.

>>30569696
Thanks man

>>30570168
I know how you feel. My family is the real reason I keep going. I have no friends or faith in my future but continue because I know it would hurt them if I killed myself.

>>30569782
>5+GB porn folder, at least 1 GB of it being my waifu
Let's share porn folder sizes, anons.
I only started downloading porn recently, I only have 626.5MiB

Gardevoir, and not in any sexual way.

I love coming to these secret threads because they remind me how relatively normal I am.

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>>30569465
Is this you anon?

>>30570168
It becomes more depressing to watch someone fall than to have seen them fall. Being that, you should probably get help even if you already have. Google for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline if you must.

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>>30568716
I can't ride a bike, swim, whistle, or snap my fingers.

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Yo suicidal anons, don't be afraid to get yourselves a pistol and blast your brains across your bedroom wall. I bought one with some ammo for only about $200 in case of a break-in; they're not expensive.

If you don't have any immediate family, you should really give it a try.

It's completely painless.

You'll really enjoy it.

>>30570248
I will faggot.

>>30570166
thanks but you still better not do it at all you cumgargler

>>30570150
It's kinda like a sneeze, I guess. Writing about it makes me feel better, though. Thanks for caring.

>>30570282
Same here, anon.
I'm disappointed in this thread because most of it is just depressed people wanting to die.

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Mawile, or Chikorita. I love cutemons, Grass and Fairy are my favorite types. Pic related is really getting up there though.

I've been in bed with anxiety for 2 days now, I missed one day of work and they cut my hours, now I'm worried I won't have enough for rent and will get evicted. I flunked out of college because I was lazy and have been avoiding any interaction with my family because I can't bear the idea of them being disappointed in me. My mom already knows, but even so I still try to avoid the conversation, and it's gotten to the point where I ignore her texts and calls, my whole family is attempting to reach out to me and I'm too ashamed to talk to them. I feel like shit.
I just looked up avoidance disorder after reading >>30568570 's post and I'm getting stressed out at how many of these things apply to me. I've been thinking about getting therapy for ages but always use the "I can't afford it" as an excuse even after getting insurance.

I'm so messed up, anons. I wish I was normal.

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This green fella

I honestly might or might not have a fetish for strongfat characters. Oftentimes when I'm in bed I grab a pillow and put it over me to pretend I'm being hugged by one of them.

I also fucking love monsters. Albeit the realistic one gross me out. I prefer ones that look cartoony, which is why I like pogeymen so much

>>30567331
Togekiss

I'm pretty sure I'll kill myself at some point in the next 10 or so years

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Persian
I regularly have suicidal thoughts, mostly caused by my shitty job. Quitting isn't in the cards for me either.

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>>30570275
Oh, nevermind! It wasn't 5 GB, it was 50.

>>30568118
Don't do it. It will get better.

>>30570332
Nobody's 'normal', some people just bury it deeper than others. Places like this can provide some relief and support, but don't ever compare yourself to someone you only know at face value. They're struggling with things beneath the surface too.

>>30570389
>it gets better
No it doesn't. Don't lie to the poor guy.

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>>30570017
>I've had relationships because a couple girls actually went out their way to get to know me and put up with my neuroses

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>>30567331
I like to whore for upvotes on Reddit

>>30569731
are you black?

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I'm a closet tranny and everyday I grow more and more ashamed of what I am and what I never will be, making me more scared of actually coming out even if I know I have a very supportive and open family which'd probably still love me
I also have an assortment of different conditions, like Ehler-Danlos, POTS, chronic fatigue syndrome, and dysautonomia, which make me feel like I'll never enjoy life to its fullest

>>30570457
test post dont upvote pls

>>30569871
It was one of those dogs that barks at everything and it was a financial burden on them because they were between jobs and didn't know what they were getting into.
I also ate it at some point. I've forgotten when that happened, but I do know it was in chili, mixed in with about as much ground beef.

>>30570457
Leave.

>>30570472
I've actually gone out with 2 trannies before.

>>30570250
Wow anon. Do you like arachnids, or do you prefer the brutality of manti over the cunning of spiders?

>>30570383
Chirst. I only have like 2 and a half gigs. Most of it being a flash game.
>>30570443
Fuck away.
>>30570381
Apply like a motherfucker to any other place you can think of. Where do you work if you dont mind my asking?
>>30570346
Nothing wrong with Bara, anon. Embrace itas much as you can because holy shit he's huge

>>30569832
The only way to catch a Mareanie is to use a Corsola as bait. GF are some sick fucks.

>>30570533
>Nothing wrong with Bara, anon
Don't encourage his degeneracy you fucking faggot.

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Every single day I post on /r9k/ to tell the normies to fuck off and yell at femanons because of how much easier their lives are, and once I find a thread containing neither of the above I complain about not having a girlfriend

It makes me seethe with frustration when people talk about their significant others of sexual experiences on other boards, including /vp/

>>30567575
How exactly? Curious. Is it like a PMD thing? Or an erotic thing? Is it your fursona?

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I have a few degenerate fetishes

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Not really a secret since a lot of people people already realized it but I have a diction problem (my voice is deep and I pronounche shome wordsh like thish) and therefore I avoid to talk at all costs, I can't socialize due to this problem and during my school years I was bullied several times (even by teachers).

>>30569731
>at gunpoint
Would you have actually shot them?

>>30570623
I'm not gay, I appreciate bara for it's aesthetics.
And also probably because they're super buff/manly dudes, which I am not. Seriously, how many times am I going to be mistaken for a woman from behind? I need a new haircut

>>30570678
Is it worse than scat/vore/ABDL/piss?

>>30567858
Most evil, revolting person here.

>>30570678
C'mon, anon, if you're gonna reveal your secrets you should at least go all out.
Tell us about your disgusting fetishes.

>>30569833
>Constant intrusive thoughts
>overactive imagination
google pure o ocd. might be of interest

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I put on a facade of being this relaxed, always chill, always stable guy for my friends but in reality I'm pretty much constantly worried about my future. I'm a NEET because I can't afford loans for college and not even the fast food places in town will hire me. The only reason I'm not on the streets is because my roommate is an absolute bro.

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>>30567331
I used to self insert as her in the movie

>>30567331
Sableye
I constantly go on crusades on /qa/ to try and stir up conversation and get rid of the retarded mind sets that plague the board. A lot of people that spout off generic dumbass comments only do it because they see everyone else doing it, so as long as you create enough positive threads/comments the board will stop acting retarded and may even carry over into other boards.

Who else here is closet robot?

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>>30570476
So let me get this perfectly straight.
You killed your neighbour's dog "by accident".
And then you ate it. Is that right?
Of course the Lucario fan would pull this kind of shit.

>>30570728
>>30570707
It's a specific combination of cock vore, cum digestion, and impregnation, in that order. there's not enough of it, sadly.

>>30570779
I used to have such a hard-on for Latias. I'd self-insert as Ash in that movie (and I pretty much always hated Ash) just because he got a Latias to fall for him.

>>30570793
delete /sableye/

>>30570793
Are you one of the retards that spam the board with "delete /pol/" shitpost threads?

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>>30570802
>closet

Psh, I wish. I'm an obese neckbeard who can't make friends because I'm uncomfortable around anyone I haven't known for years. 24-year-old KHV.

>>30570443
>>30568267
These anons get it

>>30570533
I'm afraid I can't disclose exactly where, it'd be a dead giveaway for my identity.

But like I said, quitting just isn't an option for me. The role I play is just too important. Plus, my boss is a fucking bitch, and will definitely throw a massive fit if I did end up quitting, which could have major consequences. Last time he threw one it ended with the permanent closure of a grocery store.

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>>30570793
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=barWV7RWkq0

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I've completely given up on forming any new relationships. I don't expect to love anyone, have a family, or be anything more than not explicitly depressed until the day I die. Barring the invention of AI waifus, I'll never know intimacy and will probably kill myself within the next 7 years.

>>30569466
>7
Same lol

>all these fellow suicide/depression anons

So what are you guys doing on the 27th?

>>30568485
I.... I would like to know this also...

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Galvantula
The only reason I didn't commit suicide is because my uncle killed himself on the day I was going to

But right now, I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life

>>30570457
Most twisted fuck in this thread. KYS pls senpai.

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>>30570664
Originally it was part of a thread rp of General shitpost long-as-Pokemon that a few of us moved to Kik when it became an unneeded trope, later changed into a pmd-ish roleplay that got a few pieces of art, even made some for it when my pc didn't bust.

Now it's just general discussion, but since my character was pretty iconic in the scheme of things, I still keep up the act since no one minds it.

I don't really see it as a fursona, but in a way, I guess you can say that.

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>>30570957

>>30568570
Favorite Pokemon is galvantula and that is just about my problem, too.

Don't hate yourself. You have good taste anon.

>>30570839
Nah, occasionally make threads where i ask actual questions that aren't generic wannabe boarding threads and always try to keep them on track so it doesn't become massive shitposting.

The positive comments are literally just answers to questions and positive comments. As long as you can keep a thread on track it'll usually keep it from shitting itself. If newfags show up trying to spam generic copypastas and insults their heard their parents yell at each other when they were a little kid you just have to make a post that's about four sentences long and top it off with a colorful reaction image. This stops anyone who is simple minded enough to actually fall for bait because they'll be more distracted by the multiple sentences and the colorful pictures of your post.

Walrein
I used to enjoy groping/fingering girls while they slept. It started consensually with my cousin and then I did it whilst drunk to three other girls while they were asleep. I stopped the first girl from killing herself at a later date (after she broke up with her boyfriend). The second gave me a lecture about rape culture but it was a bit incoherent since we were drunk. The third woke up and told me that she was into it, but since she was now awake insisted that I finger her asshole whilst choking her.

>>30571020
Hot.

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I like the Squish Pickle.

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>>30567331
Pic related

Not a very dark one, but: I eat my own cum whenever I masturbate and cannot stop. I'm straight btw

>>30571049
Fucking disgusting anon

>>30570957
video games, most likely

>>30571070
I eat my own cum for convenience's sake. My garbage bin with fill up too quickly otherwise.

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Buzzwole.
alienated my best friend and the only girl I ever really had true love for by forcing my weird fetish on her in elementary school over and over. I didn't even know it was a fetish because it wasn't sexual. I wish I could go back, I miss her.

>>30570793
/qa/ needs to style itself after /news/ in that only OP can post images. that should cut down the bullshit quite a bit.
>>30570476
the fuck?
>>30570869
I feel like you work at Wal-Mart for some reason. I work there too and it's been slightly better than how people have made it look in the media.
>>30570966
>But right now, I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life
Good for you man.

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I fucked a guy dressed as my anime waifu some years ago, it generated serious sexual problems within me, I'm not sure if I did to him due to the attraction towards men dressed as women or if I am bisexual, I don't know if I'm gay or not, I'm not even that interested in 3D anyway. Also I was raped by a bully in highschool and it left me some issues with women, I have been in a relationship with said person but now I am not sure if I liked it or not, I'm afraid that liking femdom on me might make me a cuck

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I'm a white leftist/liberal unironically. I sometimes go to /pol/ to shill my "progressive" views since I greatly enjoy watching those wannabe nazis foam at the mouth with rage.

>>30571090
what fetish?

>>30571090
What's your fetish, anon? I want to know how it would alienate someone.

>>30571090
Please explain further, anon.
Great taste, by the way.

>>30571089
It started as not having a tissue available one day but now I'm into the taste and texture. My ex knew this and we once made out after she gave me a bj and didn't swallow it. shit was hot af

>>30571117
Have you gone to therapy anon? you need to talk about this further to finally free yourself from these burdens

>>30571122
Stomach growling. I'd always lay on her belly and being the little autist I was I'd get all whiny if she didn't let me.

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>>30567331
Mienshao will always be my #1

I always worry that one day someone will find my dildo and Mistake me for being gay when in reality I just like the feel

I hate it when people de-rail threads into porn posting or things of that caliber, just make a thread if you're gonna be a fag

>>30571135
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR EXES AND GIRLFRIENDS AND SEXUAL EXPERIENCES BEFORE I JOIN THE /VP/ SUICIDE PACT, FUCK'S SAKE

>>30571121
lmao kys

>>30570961
I can give you an invite, if that tickles your fancy.

>>30571135
IDK if yours has this, but mine has this sort of cooling sensation on my tongue that I really don't like. Tried it once and never again.

>>30571182
not our fault you have a disease

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>>30571020
>The third woke up and told me that she was into it, but since she was now awake insisted that I finger her asshole whilst choking her.
Pic related
>>30571089
Chris-Chan go home
>>30571176
Why does this remind of that one anon. Greninja Beethoven or something.

>>30571182
We meet on the 27th. There will be punch.

Volcarona

My dick is bent downward when fully erect. If straightened, it measures at a respectable 8 inches.

>>30571121
Maybe you should try reading some of those threads instead of shitposting all the time. It might help you not be a retarded white leftist/liberal unironically.

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When I was around 10 or something, I went to a christian church on Friday nights which was like a daycare. For an hour or so, all the kids were playing in a big open area where toys and board games were laid out for the kids to enjoy, but sometimes I would sit alongside the wall and play Pokemon with some people. One day I went to restroom that had a broken lock, and for some reason (i legit don't remember why) I pulled off my pants, had a huge boner, and started playing around infront of the mirror. Five minutes later, a little girl walked into the restroom. We both stared at each other for a good 3 seconds until she screamed and slammed the door. I quickly put my shit back on, went back into the open area, and saw the little girl traumatized with all her friends crowding around her. I blended back into the crowd, nobody knew it was me. Never saw the girl again for the entire night.

I'll have you reminded that this was in a church.

Not exactly my darkest, but definitely one of my most embarrassing secrets.