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Meanwhile, living in the Pokémon world

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Thread replies: 348
Thread images: 37

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>>30330886
>>
Hey, guys, where do I get a jaw fossil? I was born in Kanto but I moved to Hoenn after getting a Kabutops and an Aerodactyl.
>>
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>Live in Alola
>Nothing but Cutieflies
>Have an idea
>Catch hundreds of these things
>The Media's current "Disease that will kill us all" of the week is Zika
>Register all their names as Zika
>Set up a VPN though Orre
>Put them all on the Wondertrade network via a bot
>mfw
>>
>>30336569
Radical Orren terrorists at it again
>>
WHERE IS DEWPIDER I'M TIRED OF CAMPING ON BROOKLET HILL
>>
>>30336468
>tfw no qt human bf
>>
>>30336468
> It's the sandstorm season again in Castelia City
WHO'S FUCKING BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO BUILD THIS CITY RIGHT UP AGAINST A FUCKING DESERT?
> tfw want to move but don't even know where to go
>>
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Guys, I think I ight have made a new treat.
Some books told me how some old Alolans used to eat rare seeds from each respective island, and in feasts they would mix the nectar with water to get some flavor.

I decided to try and mix the nectar and the seeds, holy shit, its like bite sized Old Gateau for most of them.

I fed some to the wild Pokemon, hell even brought a glass for Tapu Bulu with red nectar and the bitter grass berries. They fucking loved it, the Tapu even followed me around for a bit before it went back inside its ruins.

How much do you think I could make off of these?
>>
>>30336753
Oranguru go back to your Pokeball
>>
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>4th largest GDP in Unova
>3rd largest population
>Beautiful Beaches
>Feraligatr
Driftveil is the best city in Unova. You literally CANNOT compete.
>>
Alolan here,

So, I heard about these HM things. Like, wow. I'm not gonna complain about registering my Ride Pager again.
>>
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Can someone get these fucking Pelipper off my goddamn property?

It's been raining for TWO WEEKS
>>
>>30336869
WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO SHIP THOSE TO SINNOH
I FUCKING HATE THIS REGION
>>
>>30336918
Never, and you know it.
Too many Bidoofs.
>>
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>>30336975
>mfw Bidoof breeders are lobbying the goverment to keep tariffs on them just to keep their HM monopopy going
>>
>>30336787
>tfw planning to head to Nimbasa for a Stadium game.
Shit.
>>
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ALTHE TYRANITARS ARE RAMPAGING AGAIN WHY THE FUCK DO I LIVE NEAR MOUNTAINS IN JOHTO THIS PLACE FUCKING SUCKS
>>
>>30336468
I wish I'd never moved to sinnoh. Nothing but snow and giratina shit.
>>
>it's a blizzard episode
>again
GET ME OUT OF SNOWPOINT CITY, I FUCKING HATE IT HERE
>>
>>30336975
>no bidoof ride pager
Fuck this shit
>>
>>30337062
> tfw all the regions get cool shit but we get a musical
Fuck Unova, I hate this god damn place. Can't wait until I can blow this joint for Unova. Catch me sipping pina coladas on the Hau'oli beach front while you Castelia City fuckers are picking sand out of your teeth.
>>
>be me
>waiting for battle subway
>it's delayed 30 minutes
>finally get on
>in the middle of a battle
>"We're sorry for the inconvenience, but there's been a mechanical error, we will work our hardest to try to fix it"
EVERY fucking day
>>
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>>30336468
I lived in Castelia City when IT happened
I hate those fuck from southern Johto ever since
>>
What the fuck? It hasn't stopped raining almost region-wide in Hoenn for the past week and a half, and the only places spared are enduring blistering heat thanks to both Mt. Chimney AND the sheer intensity of the sun.
I thought Team Aqua disbanded and that kid shoved Kyogre in the box, so what gives?
>>
>>30337217
FUCKING PELIPPERS >>30336870
>>
>>30337188
>Kalos is literally giving those fucks asylum
>>
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> tfw your mom wouldn't let you get your Pokemon at 10 because you weren't ready
> tfw she wouldn't let you get one at 12 because you were too immature
> tfw she wouldn't let you get one at 15 because you needed a job
> tfw my mom has kept me around all these years as a wageslave
> tfw now I'm 22 and too old to start my adventure
Who /fuckedoverbyparents/ here?
>>
>>30337290
My mom kept dressing me up as a Nihelgo ever since my dad died and my brother stole the family dog. FML
>>
>>30337342
Pew!
>>
>>30337342
Are you that girl who's boyfriend got turned into a rock?
>>
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>>30336870
Nigga, have you ever BEEN to Hoenn?
>>
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I should have listened to you, anons. Not even a week into working at the mart at my local pmc and I've seen shit come into this building that makes me want to puke. I'm legit starting to see how some people thought Team Plasma had a point, or at least why every Nurse Joy I've met has been a hardcore alcoholic. Fuck everything.
>>
>>30337342
SAFFRON
A
F
F
R
O
N
plz be in Saffron
>>
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Me... me cuck you...?
>>
>>30337380
They better start importing some fucking Cloud Nine Pokemon or start a Pelipper Genocide or we're ALL fucked in the long run.
>>
>>30337429
Sorry, I have a girlfriend back in Alola.
>>
Alolanon here, who's fucking Taurus keeps blocking the way out of the city?
>>
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Guys I'm stuck in a corner here. I'm legit sure I saw some freakish pokemon with some luminous head

I saw it running in front of my front yard last night flailing its arms around, I couldn't see more descriptive features because it was so bright. I'm too scared to go out with my pokemon

What should I do?
>>
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>>30337256
Kalos is fucking cucked.
It's only a matter of time before they kill them when they out populate them.
>>
>>30336918
>>30337013


Fellow Sinnohian here.

I work for the sinnoh government and weve been trying recently to incorporate it but the bidoof farmer unions are getting in the way of it saying its too bad for business.

weve been making some headway but until we can find a solution both parties can agree to we cant move forward.

that said our Drifblim fly training has been a great success in testing and the oreburgh museum has opted to donate with the support of roark and byron rampardos for use of getting rid of all those pesky boulders in the region via pokeride use

life is tough but the future is bring sinnoh bros
>>
i keep waking up to my kirlia licking my soles
>>
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>>30337450
Bruh that was me looking for Rare Candies, my bad.
>>
>>30337163
At least you didn't get on the battle subway thinking it was the actual subway like I did. I nearly fucking died, fuck that shit.
>>
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>>30337444
>>
>>30337256
Alola is next.
>>
>>30337449
Dude, you think that's bad? I made the mistake of going on vacation there, and some asshole riding a Stoutland somehow had the authority to block ALL ACCESS to various locations, all because that shitty mutt was looking for stuff.
Every time I try to sneak by, he informs me of that bullshit and I spontaneously black out only to wake up standing a few feet away from his ass.
>>
>be me
>live in jhoto
>want to pick up a dozen red roses for my lisa
>make my way through the forest because its quicker
>path I usually take is blocked
>do I understand life

DO I?
>>
>>30337582
I HATE that mother fucker. One of these days he's gonna say that to someone and get his ass shot and honestly I can't fucking wait.
>>
>>30337595
>Be me
>live in Unova
>go to pinwheel forest
>pick some flowers
>stuck for 8 hours because the fucking geography keeps changing
>>
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Who /breeder/ here?
>>
>>30337650
>Be me
>Live in Sinnoh
>Want to make my way to the next town
>Have to traverse an entire fucking mountain

God Dammit.
>>
>>30337736
Fuck that. I'm done with that life, those old fucks and the nursery were bleeding me dry. They wanted 500,000 dollars for my Ditto. Shit, they can keep him.
>>
>>30337130
>not going to the musical to see that qt president of the BW company
>>
>Be me
>Work at daycare
>Every time people drop Pokemon off they start riding back and forth in front of our front door

What the fuck? Any other daycare workers notice this?
>>
>>30337962
A lot of kids think that pokemon fuck faster if you move around a lot. Some weird urban legend
>>
>>30337736

I'm a Pokemon Ranger, but I had a really good Breeder friend I knew since I was a kid. Was the one who bred my Ranger partner, actually.

Good folk, but dubious breeders using shoddy credentials or touting various medicines, treatments, or breeding methods that aren't well-researched under the guise of them being more 'natural' or esoteric are complete scum.

It's sad so many people fail to research credentials or have so much money they just think whatever costs a boatload MUST work well.
>>
>be me
>take my corsola with me to Alola
>It's happy to be in the water
>go to my umbrella to get a drink
>it's gone
Has this happened to anyone else? Where do the corsola like to head here? He doesn't usually run away like this.
>>
Yo bois ex team skull member here. After that recent chicken cleared us out of Po town I've been trying to get my life back on track. Tried to get a job at the local minimart and got turned down over not having completed my island challenge. Figured it was time for a fresh start in a new region and I went to my parents for the first time in 5 years to apologize for what I did in team skull and beg for money to a ferry to the main land.

They handed me a fucking golf club and told myself all would be forgiven if I literally beat myself to death, the actual fuck.

So anyone got 300k poke dollars I can borrow to buy a ride to Kanto or somewhere? Or any ways to make that much online since no one will hire me in person.
>>
>>30338081
They get ate nigga
>>
>>30338081
Anon... You ever heard of a Pokemon called Mareanie?
>>
>>30338081
>Bringing your Corsola to Alola

Asking for it.
>>
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Alolafags, how strict are you guys on people bringing out of region Pokemon?
I wanna come down and visit, see the sights and whatnot, and I wanna bring a few of my pals with me. Is there a blacklist for certain Pokemon? Like, any I can't bring?
Are the customs as fucking awful and tedious as Kalos'?
>>
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>>30338094
Sorry lad, it's the end of the line. I quit Team Rocket almost ten years ago and I still don't have my shit together. If you do go anywhere don't come to Kanto. Shit sucks.
>>
>>30338094
You Alola people literally treat your island challenge like a diploma? What the fuck is wrong with you people?

I hear there's lots of big pearls to be fished from the coasts and inlets. Bring a rod and you'll get 50%. I'm trying to save up enough to buy a plot on Poni Island.
>>
Guys, my Trumbeak evolved and it looks pissed. What do I do, he used to be so happy.
>>
I'm married but I can't stop thinking about the Masked Royal. Am I being unfaithful?
>>
MY FATHER IS BREEDING GHASTLEY
BY HIMSELF
THE HOUSE IS FUCKING INFESTATED
THEY'RE EVERYWHERE
WHAT DO I DO
>>
>>30338288
> Poni Island
Nah man, don't go there. It's a horrible place. There's, like, maybe one restaurant and the town really isn't a town. The only person my age is some weird stoner chick who says she's the trial captain but I've never actually seen her do anything even remotely trial like. It's boring as shit around here, would not recommend.
>>
>>30338094
...were those rumors about Plumeria and those two grunt girls true?
>>
>>30338288

It's why we of team skull acted the way we did, because shit's jacked yo! Sadly you can't get a rod without doing the island challenge, and there's something about water pokemon to where they don't bite if you try to make your own rod.
>>
>>30338337
Put your trip back on Burnet.
>>
>>30337595
Anything for your princess?
>>
>>30338370
I'm Kukui.
>>
>>30338364
The hooks have drugs in 'em
WAKE UP MAREEPLE
>>
>>30338364
The more I hear about Alola the more it sounds like a fucking dystopia. Let me get this straight; an old fat fuck, a single twenty year old woman, an alcoholic ex-cop, and a midget are in charge of running your region? And the people beneath them are a bunch of kids? What the hell is wrong with you people?
>>
>>30338358

I never witnessed anything personally but I remember Plumeria whipping around a massive horse cock strapon one day when she was drunk calling it her "Dragon type" so that might say something.
>>
>>30338409
The gods are all assholes
>>
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>>30338411
Where do I sign up?
>>
>>30338288
>You Alola people literally treat your island challenge like a diploma?
Actually no. It's just an excuse for just not wanting to hire people. It's usually used by racist fucks to avoid getting called out on it. Scummy as fuck, but not actually illegal.
>>
>>30338357
I mean, I'm from Sinnoh. I'm kind of a backwoods hick anyway, it's right up my alley. I grow my own food and sleep under the stars. I hear there are badass pokemon out there too.

>>30338364
jesus christ they don't even let you buy fishing rods? Fuck it you can use my old rod, a rod's a rod.
>>
Guys, my mom has started dressing up like an anorexic sexroach and wants me to dress up like some fucked up lovecraftian jellyfish. Any advice?
>>
Has anyone seen Lenora's Family Reunion yet? How is it?
>>
>>30338442
Run
>>
>>30338442
Wear a ponytail. You'd look Z-powered Cute in one!
>>
>>30338441
> I hear there are badass pokemon out there too.
Ha. HAHA.
I hope you like Pelipper, anon.
Protip though: you can get this really cool ghost anchor pokemon but you gotta get inside this dude's house. Looks like a Wailord. Bring him a pie or some shit, he's a fat fuck so he likes sweets, and you can fish in the spot off his boat.
>>
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>My only Pokemon is a shitty Wimpod
>Can't even battle with the cool kids because the faggot runs off immediately and I have to spend the rest of the day chasing after him

Counting down the levels till he evolves.
>>
>>30338442
You can come stay with me
>>
Unovafag here, why the fuck does it thunderstorm for literally 5 minutes and then everything's fine. I thought there weren't any pelipper here.
>>
>>30338357
Hey, that trial captain is dope. She's always down to chill.

We got high once and she painted me naked. Some stuffy folks from some fancy hotel visited and bought it thinking it was high class art.
>>
I'm so tired of listening to the same fucking thing on my tv every day, WE GOT MOUNDS OF MALASADA WAITING FOR YOU!
>>
Is no one seriously talking about the strange sightings of really strange pokemon in alola?

I'm planning a trip for a week there and I just heard the rumors
>>
>>30338486
I don't much care for Pelipper, but my Luxray sure fucking does.
>>
>>30338441

Thanks man, I'll probably have to do my fishing on Poni island. The other 3 islands are swarming with popo, and they've been known to consider that kind of activity poaching. What's more Alolan police have been known to engage in some... Incidents with their Arcanine partners, even after the offender puts their pokemon down and has their hands on their head.

I witnessed one of those cases before, the smell, that smell will never leave me until the day I die.
>>
>>30338569
They are called Alolan forms, asshole.
>>
hey i need some advice hypothetically if i was going to steal a pokemon from a very powerful corporation that my family MIGHT own whats the best way to get the fuck out of there without killing anyone
>>
My Lycanroc and I are the best of friends!
>>
>>30338591
Hope it teleports you at the very last second. Or bring a gun. You know, just in case. Is it just me or are there a lot of people posting some weirdly specific stuff tonight?
>>
>>30338591
What kind of pokemon?
>>
What does Buzzwole flexing mean? Some random dude let me pet theirs and the thing was flexing with one of its arms pointing to the air.

What does that mean? Did it like it or did that guy lie to me and I need to stock up on repels?
>>
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>roleplaying
>on /vp/

Never stop.
>>
>>30338647
Least it's more interesting than where I live. All I got is limestone and a whole load of nothin'
>>
>>30338540
I can't ever get more than two words out of her before she spaces out. I think she huffs paint.
>>
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>tfw no qt brown Kalosian gf
>>
>>30338647

Team skull bro here. I was just trying to find some way off this island dystopia. I see so many people thinking of moving here.

Protip: Don't, you'll think me later.
>>
So, Did somebody buy up all the actual pants on this island or what?
I finally come here on vacation, Figure I'll check out the local shops. And the majority of the crap here is Shorts, wife beaters and beans.
No wonder you guys don't have a fucking pokemon league.
>>
>>30338728
Shit's hot
>>
>>30338540
Waif are you talking about Mina? THAT CHEATING WHORE! I'M GOING TO BEAT HER WHEN SHE GETS HOME!
>>
sinnoh government bro back again

while budgeting for our hopeful future pokeride service I discovered something big

over 5 billion pokedollars are sent yearly to cynthia for "health and beauty products reasons"

im looking into her age and im finding some really scary stuff bros

I might be compromised soon so its been real

never stop shitposting and being racist to those filthy hoenners
>>
>>30338647
>gun
lets say im not legally able to get a gun what do?
>>30338653
a special one anon only 3 in the world
>>
>>30338587
Bitch I know all about alolan forms, I even have alolan muk
>>
This one's for the Alolafags; have any of you been accosted by a dark skinned Kalosian woman and her twink friend? I was just walking along one day and they started trying to get me to come with them and talking about a rare Pokemon. I didn't really understand them because of their accents but I keep seeing them around and it's beginning to worry me. Fucking Kalosians go home, we don't want you here. We've got enough problems with out your baguette eating asses disturbing the peace.
>>
>>30338574
On second thought... I think I might reconsider moving there and just mail you some fishing rods and lures, you should be able to do pretty well for yourself. Alola sounds like a nightmare, between the space monsters dropping out of the sky and your rapist cop epidemic.
>>
>Some Asthmatic kid from Hoenn wants to battle
>sends out some dumb pawniard looking thing
>beat the shit out of it with my Bisharp
I think he's having an asthma attack right now lol.
>>
>>30338765
Was it previously dead?
And get a knife and shank a bitch.
>>
>>30338754

Sinnoh bro, it's team skull bro, someone earlier told me Kanto is shit. Despite your transportation problem and obvious corruption is it a good place to live? Or should I start looking into Johto/Unove (fuck Hoenn, fuck Kalos).
>>
>>30338765
> lets say im not legally able to get a gun what do?
Simply speaking? Put a bar of a soap in a sock. Shit's nasty if you use it right. It won't kill them unless you try but it can definitely incapacitate someone. Used to do it all the time back in my Team Rocket days.
>>
>>30338743
Not on the fucking snowy points man. I saw some kid trying to catch a pokemon and he had frost bite half way up his fucking legs.
I wonder if this is a possible business opportunity.
Does anybody want to go into business importing clothes to these fuckers?
>>
>>30338812
nah its genetically made
>>30338823
you know what im just gonna leg it and call it a day
if anybody asks about this you didnt hear about it
>>
>>30338797

>mailing fishing rods

Pokemon Ranger here. Bad idea, that stuff falls under the Regional Economic Export and Import Stability Act. If the Police catch wind of it, you could get arrested and your Pokemon confiscated - and while I'm not local authority, I'm obligated to arrest/detain you if I find out you're doing something like that.
>>
>All these "no Mareanie/Toxapex" beaches popping up

Corsolafags need to learn to keep their shitmons on a tighter leash.
>>
>>30338795

They started to then they noticed I lacked an Alolan trial symbol and then muttered something about me being a jobless degenerate and walked off.
>>
>go to the new Thrifty Mart
>Hypno everywhere
Is this... legal? Should I bring a Murkrow?
>>
>>30338745
I swear I didn't touch her!

I'm not into girls...
>>
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>Get into town
>Go to gym
>get to gym leader
>Turns out she's unbelievably hot (no pun intended)
>Win the match
>gay mode: ENGAGE
>awkwardly flirt with her
>she's surprised
>spaghetti on out of there
>didn't even get my gym badge off her

Fuck. Everything.
>>
>go to a construction site
>fuckload of Ludicolo building skyscrapers
Fucking things are stealing jobs that rightfully belong to Conkeldurr. This region's going to shit, I swear.
>>
>>30338907
Who was it? I gotta know. For reasons. Totally not my gossip blogs or anything.
>>
Guys, I fucked up big tine. I've been visiting different regions for a few years. Money was never really an issue because traveling is rather inexpensive, especially because I spent a good while in Sinnoh's underground. I'm now in Alola and I'm running short on funds. I don't have enough money to take a boat out of here. I'm fucked.
>>
>>30338889
That's just a person in a suit. Dunno how it's legal. Must be in bed with the cops, that's what I think. The cops in Alola are as dirty as they come, and the ones that aren't are fucking braindead.
>>
>>30338795
I noticed them from a distance while I was on vacation. They were approaching literally every single person with a pokemon.

I had my Yungoos walking next to me when I saw those two walk by at the hotel's lobby. I accidentally made eye contact but since I didn't want to deal with them I just grabbed my Yungoos and legged it, I didn't want to deal with those baguette weirdos.
>>
>be me
>chillin on route 2 waiting for some trainers to come by so I can battle
>3hrs later
>see trainer
>MF walks BEHIND me like a little bitch
>whatever, see him battling rattatas with a weak ass popplio
>10 days later
>still waiting for someone to battle (where is everyone?)
>scared bitch from before runs past
>not getting away this time!!!
>MF shits out fucking solgaleo
>fml
>>
>>30338948
at least there are people nearby. I sometimes question the existence of the area I'm in
>>
>>30338889
That reminds me
>go to one of those sketchy parlors where they have hypnos give you fun dreams
>get put in a twenty hour nightmare
>>
So I left Snowpoint to came to Alola.

I plowed through all of the trials no problem...though I will admit Nanu was hard as fuck. I literally only allowed myself to use my Starmie from my original 30 or so Pokemon.

Zygarde acts differently here on these islands it seems, however Alola grows fucktons more Oranges than Sinnoh so at least he's got plenty of food.
>>
I want to go to Alola but that shit about the tapus scares me

Am I safe to hike around or what?
>>
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does anyone know what the fuck is this thing? I found it under the sheets of my bed today
is this some kind of rare pokemon or something?
I tried to put it outside but it keeps coming back to me.

what do?
>>
>>30338987
You know I think I saw the same kid. Kid with the dorky hair cut and the hat, right? Fucking hell, I saw him palling around with Kukui and then suddenly start going to town on Slowpokes with a mother fucking god. Who's that kid and where the fuck are his parents?
>>
>>30338948

Team Skull bro here, if you're willing to buy me a ticket to get out of here too and have a fishing rod from one of your other regions I'll show you how to make some money, meet Poni island in the Seafolk village pokemon center.
>>
>>30339034
Yeah, just don't go near their sacred grounds.
Or go to Mele Mele, Koko is apparently sort of chill and will only attack you if it's a fair fight.
>>
>>30338821

team skull bro its sinnoh government bro.

its not that bad actually its a bit of a slow and quiet place to live, if youre looking for a chill low key place its pretty great

just dont piss off our post menopause champion or bidoof farmers and youll be pretty alright.

Actually were opening a battle facility here soon in our northern islands due to inactivity on them and we are looking for alot of people willing to work there, I hear theyre ignoring background checks too
>>
Hey is Alola a good place to hide out? I have connections to Cipher I'd be glad to get the fuck out of Orre.
>>
>>30336468
I fuck Gardevoirs, okay!?

Deal with it normalfags
>>
>>30339049
Hello! My name is Dexio! Please, forgive my English, it is not my first language, ha ha! I see you have found something I have been looking for. It is quite a good thing! :) I am going to be at the Grand Hano Hotel for the next week, near Heahea City. If you could come visit me, I would much appreciate it! You can find me out on the beach on any given day! My friend is dark skinned and very pretty and hard to miss so you will find me easy, haha. I will be waiting! Thanks in advance!
>>
>>30339123
I'm fucking calling the cops
>>
Guys I fell through a hole and now the Hoenn's Battle Frontier hasn't been built yet. Also sexy bug monsters keep trying to fuck me. Help!
>>
guys i just got my ass kicked by this weird faggot with cut up clothes who's pokemon has some kind of fucking torture mask on???
should I call the cops?
>>
>>30338795
Oh, I saw them too. They weren't too hard for me to understand since I grew up in Kalos.

>tell them they kind of look like the Kalos Defenders
>they laugh and say they get that all the time

Apparently they're looking for a particular trainer but wouldn't explain who/what exactly they're looking for.
>>
>>30339152
My friend, that would not be in your best interest. I suggest you come down to the Grand Hano Hotel some time in the next week and I promise you, nothing bad will happen! You are not in trouble. We just want to talk. :)
>>
>>30339203
Nah, he's fine. He lives in a motel room, kid's got it bad enough. And I'm pretty sure he posts here.
>>
>>30339203
Hi anon! That's my brother could you please leave him alone? :(
>>
>>30338948
Where you at? I'm in Akala right now and I've got a ton of cash to spare after winning a bunch of Big Nuggets.

If you wanna meet up I can get you some cash if you're a chick and willing to put your dignity aside. If not I wouldn't mind buying a Pokemon off you or something, just don't agree to meet up with any of those Team Skull dudes. You'd probably get mugged and dumped into a ditch.
>>
>>30339203
Sounds like Pokémon abuse. Have you called the Aether Foundation?
>>
Hey, I was just strolling through Malie Garden and I saw these...

Pokemon....? They were HUGE! They were like floating buildings, just floating around, with two long... bamboo trees? I had no idea what the hell I was looking at.
>>
Does anyone wanna trade fossils for stuff? I'm running out of supplies here and I think the people who sent me to the middle of nowhere to find new ones either forgot about me or died
>>
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>>30338907
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK

She came into the pokémon center looking for me, gave me the badge I left behind and asked me out! Said we might even go to the hot springs together later

Holy fuck Hoenn girls are the best
>>
> Was going to go to Alola on vacation
> Read this thread
Fuck that shit. Sounds like y'all have enough problems. And I thought Orre was fucked.
>>
>>30339203
I saw that guy before too, hanging around some of those Team Skull faggots. I think he's a Pokemon abuser, somebody should probably report him.
>>
hey i need to train my pokemon up meet me atthe bottom of the pokemon league in alola
if you win ill give you everything i got
>>
>>30339203
sounds like my edgy try-hard neighborn from the motel, You shouldn't worry to much about him he's a good kid just like a said an edgy try-hard.
>>
>>30339293
Its tourism.

I'm staying at my cousin's place. Thank fuck my family is rich.
>>
>>30339240

Hey! This is team skull bro here, after that shit went down at Aether foundation we basically all agreed no more stealing pokemon! Slowpoke Tails are not off the table though but at 500 pokedollars a pop it's really not worth it except for maybe one a day to get food money for.
>>
>Have to spent the night in Mistralton City.
Wew.
>Have to deal with the planes taking off.
Wew...
>Have to deal with Skyla's plane rides.
wew...
>And her cannons.
Damn her cute ponytail and neat glider.
>>
>>30339203
This guy kicked my ass a couple weeks ago, too. He called his Pokemon a "null type" or something, but I'm pretty sure it's normal or steel or something. Brick Break put a solid dent in it.
>>
>>30339272
I saw some weird shit too
> Be me
> Walking along, minding my own business
> Suddenly some weird Jellyfish looking thing comes out
> Starts following me around
> Hugging all over me
> Take it home
> Feel rejuvenated
> Able to more than I have been
> Depression is gone
Little thing's really gone and turned my life around. I think it might be a new Pokemon. I dunno, I like it though. Definitely gonna keep it around.
>>
>>30339319
G-grunt A?!
>>
>>30339348
I'd love to deal with Skyla's air rides if you know what I'm saying
>>
>>30338907
>>30339289
>female gym leader
>hot (no pun intended)
>town has hot springs
>Hoenn
Flannery's gay? Well shit, that explains a lot
>>
>>30339351
Whoa, anon, maybe it's like Chansey or Petilil and it's got some kind of medicinal cheering properties. You should definitely spoil it, see if its healing intensifies.
>>
>>30339351
You should catch it and show it to Kukui. Getting new pokemon species registered is always a good thing.
>>
>>30339351
Anon, call the police immediately
>>
>>30339351
I'm sure it's a Pokemon, I mean, what else could it be?

But hey, sounds like it's only capable of doing good.
>>
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>>30339349
Its a "Silvally" now.

The Aether foundation had a recent break-in and my cousin managed to "acquire" one of the few of these things that exist.

We're keeping it here at my cousins because this fucking thing was abused as all hell. Like in my 13 years of travelling and meeting pokemon this creature was just in bad shape.
>>
>>30339351
>jellyfish pokemon
anon this might fright you but that thing is a poisonus parasite pokemon, it might feel good for now but it might kill you slowly with the venom it has, I know you might get clingly with it but trust me it's not worth it
>>
>>30339356

I don't know what your talking about man. Grunt A would never post here, he's too cool for that.
>>
>>30339444
That doesn't look like a real pokemon.
did you photoshop that or something?
>>
>>30339444
That's what it looks like under the mask?

Why did you take it from the Aether Foundation, though? I'd think those guys would be better equipped than anyone to rehabilitate an abused Pokemon.
>>
>>30339299
no challengers?
figures
>>
>>30339319
I'm not buying it.
You shits stole my niece's Yungoose once. Why would you steal a fucking Yungoose?! She was heartbroken.

And I've seen the state of the town you guys live in. It's a fucking ghetto. Your homes are just as much of a fucking wreck as your life.

I've been to seven different regions in my life and I have never seen such a disgusting neighborhood, not even in the worst part of Unova.
>>
>>30339444
What the hell is that hodgepodge of a creature?
>>
>>30339458
Anon, sounds like you're just paranoid.

Unless you speak from experience.
>>
Some green haired faggot invited me on a ferris wheel.
>>
>>30339458
Yeah, all right. You got proof?/ She's the best thing that's ever happened to me! And yes, it is a she, I decided..

>>30339412
I have a feelinghe'd try tot ake her away from me to study, and I don't think I'm okay w ith that.

>>30339418
What? No..

>>30339409
I've been thinkihnga bout it an a.dsmbb
>>
>>30339293
Ay, Akala Island is pretty fine.
Like, good food, fishing, and Masked Royal is here and everything!
>>
>>30339461
But yo, whoever you are bro why you postin all sophistimicated and stuff? That ain't cool bro. Actually, you ain't my bro if you gon' be all smart.
>>
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>>30339469
>>30339485

I got plenty of photos man. Its the same pokemon that edgelord I've heard is running around using. He's an artificial Pokemon, but he's a Pokemon alright.

My cousin's name is Gunnar and he's from the area. He works in stocks at the Aether foundation but as of late, they had a fucking break-in and he found it in AWFUL condition. Like its almost enough for him to quit his job.

We're thinking of contacting the authorities but I'm currently nursing the thing back to health...I feel really fucking bad for him honestly. Pokemon abuse is not cool man.
>>
>>30339527
He can't forcefully take away your pokemon.
At least get a pokedex and register her!
>>
>>30339546
do me a favor and take care of it
>>
>be me
>born in Cerulean, Kanto
>got pressganged into Team Rocket when I was just a dumb teen on the bridge
>stayed with it because I thought it was edgy and cool
>never did anything important or even bad, just gruntwork and standing around with a zubat.
>Team Rocket disbands, people start getting busted. I get off with just a few months since I was technically still a minor.
>try to get a new job back in hometown
>everyone just remembers me as that fucking Rocket kid.
>nobody wants anything to do with me and Misty herself stops by to tell me not to try anything.
>Fuck this shit. I never liked this town anyway.
>Catch the S.S Anne to Hoenn. New start, new life.
>Most people haven't even heard of Team Rocket here but you know who has? The people they have doing background checks.
>can't get a good job because of it and end up as a fisherman in some shitty coastal town.
>God why is Hoenn so fucking wet this was a mistake
>spend a few months just fishing and living like shit. The guy down the pier with 6 Magikarp keeps laughing at me.
>Become known as a bit of a loner, nobody talks to me.
>Get approached by some other fishing lads, they say they might have a job for me. No background checks or nothing.
>Long story short, it was Team Aqua. Fuck it, why not? I guess water is my thing now.
>Boy I was not fucking ready for what a mess this shitshow was.
>I thought we were just doing some low-grade crime shit, nothing heavy
>turns out its a FUCKING CULT
>basically wants to wake up Cthulhu and drown the land.
>nigga what.jpg
>try to bail out of that shit when the world is ending.
>Cthulhu looking nigger washes me out to sea
>spend some of the most stressful days of my life adrift at sea, survive only because of my helpful water pokemon
>realize I've been doing these fellas wrong all my life.
>pray to god that if I just get a second chance I'll treat my pokemon right and devote myself to their conservation.

sorry for the blogposting lads, I'll continue this post soon
>>
>>30339444

I've got one of those, myself.

Thing is, I'm in a government position(Rangers) and we're only allowed to ever have one Pokemon registered to us, our Partner. If it's found out I have a Silvally, I'll get fired six ways to Sunday and very likely prosecuted, but I can't help myself, something about them is just so... nice.

My Partner(an Altaria) is a little jealous, too.

I want to keep it, but I'm really not sure I should break the law any more than I already have, since I love being a Ranger. I get free global travel and I love using my Capture Styler.

Kind of at a loss.
>>
>>30339531
Akalanon, can you confirm the rumours of a Masked Royal vs. Crasher Wake match??
>>
>>30339546
So did this 'Silvally' have a mask when you found him?
>>
>>30339546
Do you alolans even HAVE authorities?
>>
>>30339587
How the fuck did you get one?
Aether must have pretty shit security if THREE were stolen
>>
>>30339551
i just don't tryust anyon else with her
she's mine, you hhear mne? MINE!
>>
>>30339598
We all know the Tapu would obliterate anyone who got too far out of line. Why else do you think a bunch of posturing clowns like Team Skull is all we have to worry about?
>>
>>30338965
I heard there's a shitload of child abuse there too and the cops just ignore it. Paradise my ass.
>>
>>30339649
Can you at least post a picture?
>>
Kalosfag here.
So I've set out to become a ghost type trainer, and I've got my little team going, all that good stuff.
But how do I get the swirly eyes all the others seem to have? I can't figure it out.
>>
>>30339570
The most I've ever had to deal with is a rowdy Garchomp.

Silvally is tame as fuck compared to her. He's quiet but I think its because he's just shaken. I can see scars under his fur I mean...whatever Aether did it's just wrong.

I need a name for the guy, I'm thinking Gabe or Clayton.

>>30339594
He had half of it. I'm serious, half. My pokedex says its suppose to lose the mask when it evolves, I helped get the thing off but it's like Silvally was "forced" into its evolution.

>>30339587
I have a Zygarde, but I wanna check with the authorities if we have clearance. This Pokemon was abused.

>>30339598
I'm from fucking Snowpoint.
>>
>>30339658
But all the tapu are massive assholes
>>
>>30339671
You gotta sell milk.
>>
>>30339587
>tries to sell out Skull bro just for wanting a fishing rod to try to get his life back together
>keeps an illegal Pokemon

Now, I don't know if you're the same ranger from earlier but if you're all about law, why are you willing to bend the rules for yourself and not others?
>>
Sinnoh government bro back

no meeting today because everyone else got stuck in a psyduck route block that may last a few days so I can shitpost all I want on taxpayer pokedollars

ive heard about this aether corporation

apparently they bribed our secretary of defense into spilling alot of info we had about the our native regions creator god Arceus

there was this really thick girl with glasses 10/10 my type, shoulda jumped on it
>>
>>30339493
maybe
let's say my job kinda deals with this kind of stuff and I also got a little too attach to one... maybe too much

>>30339527
anon, you really have to trust me, I shouldn't share this info, but this has happen before, this kind of behavior happen to the president of aether foundation lusamine I'm warning you anon leave it alone or face the consequences that might hurt you more than you might think
>>
>>30339671
Huffing ghastlys?
>>
>>30339699
The corruption is rampant through all levels of government. Can't trust none of these fuckers.
>>
>>30339671
Contacts, anon

>>30339674
I remember those news stories over in Johto about Magikarp being forced into evolution by Team Rocket. Think that tech's made its way over here somehow?

Personally, I don't know why you keep saying Aether did something to it. They're no Skull hooligans. The whole organization is all about helping injured Pokemon, dumbass.
>>
>>30339724
Didn't she fucking die?
>>
>>30339674
look if you need any help i can swing by and help i have a lot of experience with silvally
you sound like a good trainer so you should keep it but if you need someone to take it off your hands ill gladly take it
>>
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>>30339724
who the fuck iss lusamine? never heard of tyhem

>>30339666
yeah i guess
excyuse the weird portal thing in the background i dunno what that is it just kinda. happened.
>>
>>30339681
Easy to say that on the internet, where the Tapu can't hear you.
>>
>>30339649
Anon, you need help...you don't sound like you're doing too well. Does anyone else know about, uh...her besides us?
>>
>>30339781
She looks like a hat.
>>
My ace Pokemon, Toxapex, has been refusing to eat his pokebeans for days now and it's looking really malnourished, I'm really scared I don't know what to do.

On an unrelated note, do any of you breed Corsola? I've fished up nearly fifty Pokemon today but haven't found a single one. I've got money, if you want to sell me a few.
>>
>>30339622

Bust on a shipment I was a part of. Aether Foundation couldn't be directly linked to it as they used multiple intermediaries, and it was hidden inside the frame of a massive shipping box with some light documentation.

I originally took it to report it to my superiors instead of leaving it with local authorities, but I ended up bonding with it.

It's not like I walked into their HQ and just grabbed one.

>>30339674

As far as I can gather, Type: Null and Silvally are both under "Restricted" status, meaning that only choice trainers are allowed to have one, determined through internal discussion and a vote.

Of course, folk are bound to breed them somehow and at that point, there's little we can truly do to keep -everything- under control.

>>30339699

Man, that's why I said I'm at a loss. Didn't say I was absolutely unwilling to give it up. In the end I'm probably just going to take the internal burn and pass it off to my superiors anyways and try and work something out after that. Just because I can't have it doesn't mean I can't try and see it given to someone who -can- have it under supervision and visit it when I can, you know?
>>
>>30339593
Not gonna confirm anything, buuuuut I have seen some Crasher Wake mask replicas popping up in the back of some stores...
>>
>>30339794
I live halfway across the world, LITERALLY in the middle of nowhere.
>>
>>30339798
nope. youre the only people i really talk to anymore.. life hasnt been too good lately, not since the whole po town shit happend

>>30339806
your right she kinda does
wonder what would happen if i put her on my head? yyou think id look good?
>>
>>30339757
>contacts
I'd swear it isn't.
I also noticed I'm nowhere near as busty as all of them. Is that a requirement? Should I go train dark types instead?>>30339683
Do you sign up somewhere?
>>
>>30336468
>Always loved Lilligants
>No one knows not a normie in my family/life
>don't want to be seen as degenerate
>get very paranoid about having my Lilligant be seen around me

Fuck. I don't want to fuck Pokemon
>>
>>30339871
Milk, anon. It's all in the milk.
>>
>>30339883
Nobody will suspect a thing so long as she still has her flower.
>>
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>>30339757
And I quote from my cousin who works there:

"We had a local break in, some kid kicked most of the security team's ass. I went upstairs and found some of it trashed and went to help someone who was hurt, I saw the thing in a cage, his leg was frozen in ice and half of his mask was still on. It didn't help he was wimpering slightly and blood coming out of his left-front leg. I felt bad so when the eggheads werent looking I grabbed his Pokeball and took it from there."

>>30339771
If you want advice I'm willing to give it but I'm a bit reluctant to release the poor thing, especially since we just got him a day or two ago.

>>30339820
I'm obliged to follow the law but this was an abuse case. International Pokemon abuse laws allow trainers to withhold custody of a Pokemon so long as evidence is made out that said Pokemon was in fact being abused. We have a few officially signed forms from a "Lusamine" and photos of his wounds.

I'll contact authorities after he heals a bit, I want Silvally to wind up someplace happy, not back in their hands.

At least my Toucannon and him seem to get along. Maybe its the beaks?
>>
>>30339858
Anon I really don't think you should be letting her anywhere near your head/face. Maybe you should take her for a walk or something instead? Surely she'd like to see the night sky...
>>
>>30339883
Move to sinnoh.
>>
>>30339820

silvally bro our local Professor Rowan has a keen interesting in Silvally and has done alot research on Arceus as well maybe you should contact him he may be able to help you work something out
>>
>>30339761
she didn't but she is in a dangerous condition for assimilating to the pokemon, she is now in kanto being taken care by her daughter
but you didn't heard it from me
>>30339781
>those cracks
you don't have more than one of those, right anon?
>>
>>30339820
>Of course, folk are bound to breed them somehow
I have it on good authority that they're infertile, probably from being genetically altered to such a degree. I doubt anyone without billions of dollars of scientific equipment could produce more of them.
>>
>>30339824
HOLY SHIT. I'm planning a trip to Akala ASAP. I wouldn't miss a chance to see Crasher Wake in person for anything.
>>
>>30339918
Nah, I got family here. I wouldn't move to be an Otaku
>>
>>30339571
>so God hears my prayers and I wash up on Unova.
>Can't even speak the language at first, have to make it up as I go.
>makes getting a job real hard.
>not to mention that I'm pretty sure I got photographed when Team Aqua was stealing the sub that one time.
>I just want to get my life back together and help Pokemon.
>Learn the language a bit more and wind up with this hardcore group of Pokemon rights activists.
>Yeah sure. It's time I got my life around and started helping Pokemon instead of hurting them.
>nah it's actually another fucking legendary-cult or some shit.
>what the fuck
>hell no
>now I've got the international police after me.
>spend the next few years in Kalos hiding out
>the less said about that the better.
>End up with several different criminal records and no hope of ever getting a legit pokemon ever again.
>I just want to help pokemon
>Team Flare buddy helps give me a fake tourist visa to Alola so I can maybe get a fresh start over there.
>fucking nah, alola is a lot more strict on rules than you'd think. Criminal record = nojobs
>guy dressed in white like a faggot stops me while I'm trudging down some shithole route
>says he'll pay me if I get pokedex info on some rando mon.
>Hell yeah
>keep doing it and after a month or so he offers me a job doing basic gruntwork for the people he works with, the Aether Foundation.
>they're actually legit pokemon conservationists this time
>not even radicals like Plasma
>if I do well enough they'll even pull some strings to get me a proper work visa here.

I think I'm finally turning my life around bros.
>>
>>30339871
Just get a license to sell stuff and then sell some milk.
>>
>>30339917
Well, it's too late for that. It's all right, nothing happened. Nothing interesting, at least. Ah well, what can you do?

>>30339927
That depends.
Do you want one?
>>
>>30339781
Uh oh...
>>
>Constantly raining because of Pelippers
>Literally no police force
>Everyone pretends to like Tapu's but they're really just raging assholes
>Get too close to berry piles and random Crabrawlers will pop out and break your nose
>Almost all the food here is shitty Malasada

Is there literally any reason to stay in Alola? This place sucks.
>>
>>30337130
Don't you get the World Tournament?
>>
>>30339910
What the fuck? I thought Aether was good people. You're not pulling my leg, dude, are you?

I mean, I was planning to apply with Aether once this semester's done.
>>
>>30339888
Where's the supplier for this milk?
>>
>>30339929

All it really takes is passing on a little information to even an entry-level grunt of one of the big orgs and I'm sure they could wind up cranking out a deal with one of them to do that, though

Especially that Team Galactic
>>
Would fucking Ditto clones be like Masterbating of the Pokemon world?
>>
>>30339571
>>30339958
Godspeed, anon. Aether Foundation folks are really nice. Hopefully with all the changes going on they've gotten rid of all the whackadoos.
>>
>there are STILL people who don't believe in evolution
even if arceus DID exist, who's to say that arceus couldn't create conditions for evolution to come about?
>>
>>30339958
Good for you anon :)
>>
>>30340026
You do know that ponce Faba is still there, right? They axed their CEO but he's the one calling the shots, and truth be told I trust him even less than I did the lady who kept trying to convince me to "step into her back room for business". Bitch gave me the creeps. Glad she's gone.
>>
>>30340026
Is that one guy with the green goatee still there? Anyone with that fashion sense HAS to be unhinged somehow
>>30340001
The human population has a value greater than one?
>>
>>30340051
Isn't it effectively ran by her son, now?
>>
>>30339965
that's it, I'm going to report this to my superior ASAP

stay where you are anon, you might not want me to do this but I have to do it for your own good.
>>
>>30340008
My cousin's worked there since Day 1. I'm at his home and he told me flat out Aether had some dark secrets. If Silvally was one of them and he was "frozen" I'm scared to know about the other Pokemon potentially in there.

I don't think I've ever seen a Pokemon "Leave" there, plenty enter.

This is news to both of us as well, we've got him under a few hyper potions as well as giving him Magikarp and some actual love instead of...whatever they did there.

>>30340051
I think MAYBE she was responsible for this. I'm not gonna point fingers yet, just patch him up and then see what the authorities have to say.

I'm gonna name him Clayton.
>>
>>30340032

funny you say that that's one of the things Rowan is researching right now

what came first pokemon or evolution

at this rate his collaboration with sycamore to find out how to give more pokemon the battle bond ability will complete before he finishes it
>>
>putting fucking ultra beasts on your head
you idiots deserve whatever happens to you
>>
>>30339965
You're her, aren't you? Hat-jellyfish? Look at all the windows in that room; if it's too late to be outside, it's too late for all that glowing to be normal too. Someone likely saw you, and if not, someone will likely notice if you ever leave the building.
>>
FUCKING GENIES ARE MAKING MY HOME RAIN LIKE CRAZY AND ITS LEAKING THROUGH MY ROOF

REMOVE GENIES
>>
>>30338358
"Grunt B" here, and you're god damn right those rumors were true

>>30338411
Would you believe she never actually used the thing?
>>
>>30340083
I dunno, it's just what I heard from a friend of mine who's tight with some Team Aether people.
>>
>>30340094
What? No, of course I'm not, don't be ridiculous. She couldn't type. She has no hands! Would be awful difficult, don't you think? It's just me, anon, completely normal anon.

>>30340084
I'll take that as a no?
>>
Tapu Koko is running around outside and his fucking '''electric terrain''' took out the power in half the city.
>>
>>30340051
>>30340071
Faba got demoted, I thought. now Wicke is in charge, mostly.
>>
>tfw you would still be a NEET
>>
>>30336468
>read about Alola
so what is the consensus-does it even compare to Unova's shit?
>>
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>>30340088
Shit. Shit. God dammit. Is there nowhere out there that isn't corrupt? You can't even get a job working a Center for all the nepotism running wild. We all know how it works out when you try to just help trainerless Pokemon out of your own home, too. Remember when Mr. Fuji got abducted back when Rocket was around?
>>
>all these people in this thread who are from Alola

didnt know those islands where so populated
>>
>>30340032
>Arceus
Heh.
Sinnoh folk still living in the stone age with their fairy tales. Why do people believe in stupid made-up Pokemon that literally nobody has ever seen a shred of evidence for?

>B-but Palkia and Dialga appeared on Mt. Coronet that one time!
Yeah, Palkia and Dialga existed but they weren't fucking magical time controlling demigods. They're just rare, strong Pokemon who nobody's ever seen travel through time or whatever the fuck. And they haven't been sighted for a decade, they were probably just the last remaining specimens of a normal extinct Pokemon species.

Once we find their fossils we'll be probably be able to revive them and prove they're no different from Tyrantrum or Amaura.
>>
>>30340051
I fucking work here, and I'M not even sure who the hell is in charge these days. Faba got demoted last I checked, but he didn't get fired or anything. I think Wicke has his job now? A lot of folks still refer to Lusamine as "The President" but nobody's seen her in WEEKS, so who even knows what's going on with that.
>>
>>30340181
Even with the raging asshole "Guardian" pokemon, apparent lack of any police force whatsoever, and the multitudes of other problems, it's still probably better than the literal no-name place I'm stuck in
>>
>>30340206
It's just been the meme travel destination lately.
I guarantee 90% of these posters aren't natives.
>>
>>30340206
Timezones, anon. Mostly Unovans and Alolans awake right now.
>>
guys I think my friend fucks his Ditto. Should I say anything? Do anything? I don't want to go to the authorities about this but I'm pretty sure it's illegal.
>>
>>30340146
Distressed typing style abruptly becoming calmer; shrugging off efforts to help; yeah, not buying it. Plus anyone who's ever met a ghost or psychic Pokemon would know things without hands can easily find something with them if they need to communicate.
>>
>>30340241
>no-name place I'm stuck in
It's still better than Orre.

...wait are you from Orre?
>>
>>30340261
There is nothing wrong with fucking your pokemon.
>>
Ghost trainer here.
One of the bed maniacs showed up at my door selling milk. I ended up buying like 25 bottles of milk off of her. I'd swear she knew I was looking for the stuff.
What do I do with all this milk? Is it even safe to drink this stuff? It was dirt cheap.
>>
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>>30340181
Its tropical as fuck. Though a bit chaotic at the moment thanks to tourism. A recent case involving the Aether foundation and team skull has also nabbed alot of attention.

Its chill here.

>>30340198
When I'm done adventuring I wanna open a "comfy" bar in Snowpoint. I want to have all of my Pokemon help me make it a nice quiet comfy bar, great wifi and make it really warm. Then I want to go home each night surrounded by all 30-something if my team keeps growing pokemon and passout in a gigantic fucking mattress with them. I don't plan to do lewd activities with them either, I love them too much to do that.

I hope the authorities let me keep Silvally...it'd be new to try to raise a Pokemon who's been a victim of "ice abuse"?

>>30340278
>>/Solaceon/

You make us Sinnohians all look bad. I have a Gardevoir, Mienshao AND Salazzle at my disposal and not once have they or I considered doing dirty things.
>>
>>30340261
There are signs to watch out for. Does the Ditto ever transform into humans? Have you seen it trying to transform into things that aren't directly in front of it (things it might have been shown in magazines, etc)? Does it act strangely or inappropriately while transformed?

You'd be surprised how many sick fucks will condition their Dittos to do some messed-up things.
>>
>>30340198

> tfw half the sinnohian government workers do jack shit
> tfw 1/4 of our budgets goes torwards cynthia and her attempts at looking 20 years younger
> tfw half your employess miss work because of power outages and psyduck swarms
> tfw have the authority to deny visas to filthy hoenners
> tfw 90% of the workers working on our new battle resort and facility our illegals with no background checks
> tfw team galactic scientist have to work for us for free or get sent to a life in prison
> tfw bidoof farmers control the economy
> tfw one of our gym leaders is away from his gym for 90% of the time wrestling and one cant even speak english
this is entire region is one big corrupted shitpost
>>
>>30340221
I dunno man, I've been stuck digging up fossils for a while now and I've never seen anything even remotely like them. Granted, I'm mostly stuck with aquatics, but still
>>
>Local Hex-maniac has a crush on me

What's the best way of scaring them off?
>>
>>30340269
Hey, you can believe whatever you want, but I'm feeling better than I have in ages. Who knows, maybe if you picked up one of those jellyfish yourself, you'd feel better too. Just a suggestion.
>>
>>30340308
>implying I'm from sinnoh
top kek, not everyone is repressed like you sinnohfags
>>
>>30340198

The Rangers aren't really that corrupt, and I can at least confirm that Nepotism isn't too big in our ranks because using a Capture Styler can be seriously rough shit in bad conditions, never mind trying to use it on a rampaging Pokemon. On top of that, only getting to have one Pokemon to your name as long as you have the job puts a lot of folk off of it, so we tend to be staffed by the legitimately serious who want to help others.

Issue is that we're mostly understaffed -and- we're also a global entity, so even if you don't apply for global mission work you could very well be made to take a 3-day plane ride out to Orre or somesuch at the drop of a hat.

Oh yeah, and you're also 'suggested' various Pokemon to have as your partners. Those willing to have Partners capable of learning Helping Hand are given special consideration.

>>30340328

Talk about local fashion and mainstream music/movies. It's basically anathema to them.
>>
>>30340146
you don't fool me jellyfish pokemon or I should say "UB-01 Symbiont"
international police agents are serching your location at this moment, you have no way to escape now
>>
can i date my rotom?
>>
>>30340274
No. Worse. You know that vast stretch of NOTHING between Orre and Unova?
>>
>>30340308
>Gardevoir, Mienshao AND Salazzle

Tell us how in Arceus' name you go about your day without them clawing at your dick.
>>
>>30340308
>his salazzle has oblivious
>>
>>30340286
If it wasn't safe, they wouldn't sell it, right?
>>
>>30340369
That's funny, Anon, but awfully accusatory. It'd be best if you don't say those things online to strangers. You never know who might be on the other side of the screen!
>>
>two other silvallys
keep those things secret unless you wanna end up in fucking jail
>>
>>30340308

I can't make any promises, but I'll look at your Trainer profile and bring it up with my superiors in regards to you having a Silvally. Especially as you're taking care of one that seems to have undergone severe abuse - special cases tend to be made for those, as taking them away from the Trainers who cared for them can often make them seriously despondent or cause near-unending anger.
>>
>>30340308
Hey, what type is Silvally, anyway? Considering what happened to it, if it isn't weak to Ice, then you might want to get it conditioned to extreme cold again if you plan on taking it to Snowpoint.

Shame there's really only one snowy place in Alola. Ever since they decided to build the League there, it's been overrun with strong trainers.

>>30340318
Same shit, different region. Everywhere you look, everyone's corrupt. If it weren't for the fact Pokemon Centers supply free healing, I'd be completely done with government by now.
>>
Anyone know where I can get some cheap golf clubs? My last few broke after an 'accident'. Good for nothing kids, am I right?
>>
>>30340261
Where does he live?
Nothing makes my stomach churn more than Pokephiles.

Seriously. Tell me where he lives.
Between my Seviper and Swalot I've made this kind of filth disappear without a trace before, and I'll do it again.

There is no cure for these pieces of shit.
>>
>be guy who has access to secret papers
>look at everything
okay what the fuck is Orre's problem

Kanjoh had Team Rocket who mostly wanted to sell Pokemon and had their leader be undercover as Gym Leader.
Hoenn had that hippie and mad scientist who wanted to expand land and sea, but they they're realized "fuck this is not what I've expected" and started atoning
Sinnoh had this guy who might have had came from an abusive family want to create a new world, without emotions. The best guess he's stuck in another dimension, or something.
Unova had it twice. Once these "lol Pokemon are suffering with humans" fuckers, and then the actual leader 2 years later was like "fuck this let's freeze Unova and freeze it"
Kalos' team was more or less a genocidal piece of shit with a WMD-class weapon.
Alola was... Eh, I've never trusted them. Poor kids, though. Didn't deserve any of this.


Orre? There's a fucking reason it's never mentioned in any newspapers. You like turning Pokemon into what's basically a weapon of mass destruction? Their local team sure did!

There are also these guys from Ranger Union areas but i am too fucking lazy to care.
>>
>>30340497
Edgy.
>>
>>30340355
I've considered the Rangers, but it does seem like a pretty dangerous line of work. What do you do if the Capture Styler fails? It seems like a lot of pressure to expect just one Pokemon to pick up the slack if your styler doesn't work.

I guess I could deal with travel, but I hear other regions don't use Ride Pokemon. With only one partner, what do you do if you need to fly or surf somewhere?
>>
>>30340441

ive heard the bidoof farmers are conspiring with the miltank to attempt to shut down free center heals

the international governments are being really hush hush about it and you didnt here this from me but if somebody dosent do something soon we are gonna be neck deep in shit

you didnt hear this from me
>>
>>30340497
If it's sinnoh you're out of luck. It's legal there
>>
What do regions other than Alola do for 'boxed' pokemon? Do they have reservations like we have Poke Pelago? Or do they still do that ancient and backwards shit of just storing their pattern buffer on disc like Bill's first box system did?
>>
>>30340404
That's a good point.
gonna crack one now.
>>
Guys, there's a bug outside my bedroom window. Like, a really big one. It's bigger than me. It won't leave, it's just standing there, posing menacingly at me. I'm kind of scared to even get close enough to close the blinds, it could break through the window at any time.
>>
>>30340497
>>>/pol/
>>
>>30340527
Poke Pelago is sketchy as shit. I don't trust that Mohn guy. I don't know what it is but I have this bad feeling he's exploiting my boxed pokemon for slave labor to get his fat ass more beans and shiny rocks to sell while fleecing me like a chump.
>>
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>>30340376
Besides not being a degenerate?

Pokemon don't arouse me, they just don't. I also see them as family, not as friends. I'd feel awful if I ever saw them as normal women to stick my dick into.

I had sex once with a human, I felt dirty and awful after She was worth, met her in Kalos. It'd probably feel alot worse after.

>>30340430
Here's an ID. My family's kinda better off, and everyone and their mother in Snowpoint knows I own a Zygarde and my slate is 100% clean. I'll do all the forms as well for therapy sessions, etc. If you're really a government agent I'd like to file if possible to hang onto Silvally. Not my call but still, if he's growing attached to my Toucannon, the last thing I'd want to do is have him be hurt anymore.

I don't want to come off as Gary Stu here but Silvally is legit one of my favorite pokemon this generation and one I plan to use. I also don't plan to get "perfect" Zygarde as much as have him just be a fat thing that eats all of my fruit.

>>30340441
Normal typed. I'm not leaving Alola for awhile, I just got here a few weeks ago and I planned to stay with my cousin for a few more months before I go home to Snowpoint.
>>
>>30340545
Are the poses at least good?
>>
>>30340520
We all know that society would crumble without free Center heals. How are a bunch of 11 year old kids with Rattatas going to afford that when they can't even afford a bicycle?
>>
>>30340571
How are you immune to the pheromones?
>>
>>30340545
>poses
lol jojo..........
>>
>>30340540
Holy shit this stuff is good. I'm already on my second bottle.
>>
>>30340649
I feel funny.
>>
>went to a beach in Alola
>My pokemon went to play with some sandcastle
>I took a nap
>its been hours and we can't find him.
>We leave tomorrow and my mom says we can just catch another one.
Did Team Skull do this? I thought they disbanded?
>>
>>30340649
if it don't work try huffing a Ghastly or two. People at my college used to do that...
>>
>>30340603

bidoof farmers are the most corrupt beings ive ever met anon

it probably wont go through but the fact it was even brought to the table in the first place was pretty scary

besides they made pokephelia legal here these fucking idiots will do whatever they want im thinking about moving back to johto these days but getting classified info is so easy in sinnoh if you have a government job and are friends with those bowl cut heads in the science division.
>>
>>30340683
>sandcastle
Fun fact: Ghosts can possess sandcastles.
>>
>>30340571
Good, no ice weakness. If you know anyone with a Vulpix or Vanillite, maybe see if you can gradually introduce them? Stay away from the ones cold enough to influence weather, though. The last thing you want is for him to keep associating coldness with pain.

Good on you for taking in a suffering Pokemon, though. I hear they're tough to work with.
>>
>>30340683
Anon...
Your Pokemon is a Sandygast now.
>>
>>30340683
That sandcastle is either using your pokemon to add more sand to it or it's done a whole lot worse. If you don't have something strong with you, I'm afraid you've got to leave this to the authorities or let them go.
>>
>>30340545
I heard of these kind of bugs, they apparently comunicate by posing I don't know the reason why but if you want to do risky you might to pose to tell it too fuck off or befriend it, sadly I don't know what kind of poses are needed for that
>>
>>30340736
>>30340731
>>30340715
Guys don't be dumb some kid had to had built it before i showed up. It had a shovel on top of it still.
>>
>>30340708
What is with you people repeating the "huuur pokephelia is legal in Sinnoh" meme?

Yeah. It was thousands of years ago. Whoop-dee-shit. I bet you think Unovans still use Alolans as slaves.
>>
>>30338728
What's wrong with shorts? They're comfy and easy to wear!
>>
>>30340781
Anon, c'mon. Lawnmowers and stuffed dolls can be possessed by Pokemon. Why not a sandcastle?
>>
>>30340799
You have to be over 18 to post her.
>>
>>30340790
because there's ACTUALLY no law against it in sinnoh. I'm pretty sure there's one or two other regions that you can only be fined for it too
>>
>>30340790

its not a meme friend they literally passed a new law just this past year making it legal again

this whole government is a complete joke

they make pokephelia legal but refuse to do anything about the psyduck terrorizing this regions roads and whenever we actually get a fucking meeting planned cynthia has to take another vacation

every time
>>
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>>30340589
HIS FORM IS EXQUISITE. HIS GAINS, ARE WITHOUT EQUAL. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE, TO PROPERLY EXPRESS THE MAJESTY OF THE BEAST BEFORE ME.

LUCKILY FOR YOU, I HAVE TAKEN A PHOTO
>>
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>>30340616
I'm not "immune" per-se. I feel urges to do things out of my own control but when I caught Salazzle, I taught her discipline. I let her know I was in charge and sought out solutions on how to divert her own urges should she ever get them as well. I esentially conditioned myself/her to ignore any and all thoughts of Pokephilia, and any other pheromones she attempts to control me with (if ever, she rarely does, if only to get something she wants, like food or to go someplace). It also helps I'm used to the environment, I've had to go to Solaceon countless times in Sinnoh.

As a result of my misdirection, now my Haxorus has a major crush on her, and its the most adorable thing to watch.

>>30340717
Pokemon abuse is wrong.

This would be my first Pokemon who've I adopted from being a victim, and I'll see what I can do for therapy. The last thing I want to do is have Ice (especially with my hometown) be some sort of trigger. I'll start small, maybe ice pops a few weeks from now?
>>
>>30340856
Holy shit. That's fuckin' impressive.
>>
>>30340672
Something's wrong. It's really cold tonight but I'm sweating like crazy. I feel like I'm burning up.
Mills still cold though, so that's helping.
>>30340688
Does rubbing my face against a gengar work? There aren't any ghastly in this area but my gengar is watching tv in the living room.
>>
>>30340856
>this guy
Run.
>>
Phoneposting on vacation in Alola. Question for the locals.

Do you guys actually have any trainers here?

The best way for me to experience another region is though the heat of battle and I'm severely let down right now. Everyone has like one 'mon or just refuses to battle me. I would do this trial thing but I'm only here for another night.

The only person I've encountered that got me revved up was some goofy little chicken looking girl who actually had a six team. We didn't even get to finish though because some other girl dragged her away screaming about a bag.

I probably should of just gone to Hoenn again.
>>
>>30340856
Woah, you got that close to it? I've seen one of these fuckers punch a garbage truck in half. Although I'm pretty sure they're just showing off, maybe they're not that dangerous after all.
>>
I managed to win a silver trophy, everyone! It was all thanks to my Pokemon knowing Swagger. I mean, y'know, it's not first place but it's not bronze like my other trophies.

Do you guys think my Dad will be proud of me?
>>
>>30340856
Anon
You have to flex back.
It's the only way.
>>
>>30340884
Sounds good. I'm studying Pokemon rehabilitation (hence my hoping to apply to Aether, jesus christ), but I've never even heard of a Silvally before now, so I don't know if I can give you very specific advice.

Just make sure the two of you work out some kind of "time out" signal beforehand. Silvally can tell you when he's had enough, and you can warn him if it's getting too worked up.
>>
>>30340978

At least you have a dad.
>>
>>30340955
Head out to Poni Island, guy. There's like nobody there but hardcore battle types.
>>
>>30341022

Ah, well. That sucks, man. But hey, maybe my dad can show you his golf clubs! He's pretty good at swinging them.
>>
>>30340908
YES, YES IT IS

>>30340925
CARDIO KILLS GAINS
>>
I was relaxing on the beach with my Paras, and I saw- you'll never believe this - Red! The Kanto Champion! In the flesh!

I wanted to get his autograph, but he went off with some guy with brown hair. Has anyone else seen them around Alola?
>>
>>30340978

thats pretty good swagger is a hard move to use

if you feel like your talents arent being appreciated enough come to sinnoh. alot of new trainers arent popping up and we need someone to usurp our current champion.

Rowan might even let you use his experimental item which bestows the battle bond ability to a pokemon but dont tell anyone I told you this
>>
>>30341142
Right, anon. Sure. Like a Champion has nothing better to do than venture to some nowhere-region that barely has a League.
>>
>>30340441
>If it weren't for the fact Pokemon Centers supply free healing
Communism is part of the problem.
>>
>>30341157
>Rowan
He better find that Alolan girl. Supposedly she's in Kanto now.

I mean what the hell, why did that cloud evolve into a legendary Pokemon?
>>
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>>30341002
Will do.

So far the only "agitated" look I can rely on his his mane-feather thing on his head flaring up. Reminds me of my Staraptor.
>>
Doctor here. Please stop doing stupid shit with anything relating to Poison-type Pokemon, Poison-type attacks, and -especially- Psychic and Ghost-type shit, period.

You come in burning up with a temp of 105F and so delirious you can't tell me what manner of poison you got fucked up on, chances are I'm not gonna be able to fucking save you. Pokemon Antidotes are NOT Human Antidotes - we need separate antidotes specifically made for specific Pokemon. On top of that, we can't administer every fucking antidote we've got in the Pharmacy on you either - a couple of them have seriously bad interactions with one another, like basically fucking over your platelets/white count or absolutely buttfucking your BP. Had to treat a guy who took a mouthful of Acid trying stupid shit, had to watch him choke to death on his own vomit and sloughed off lining of his trachea.

Psychic and Ghost shit can be even harder to treat because Psychic Therapy is of dubious use on Humans, illegal in some regions, and the effects could last anywhere from a few minutes to the rest of your fucking life as a subconscious trigger. My Xatu is not a fucking miracle worker and cannot just fix a recurring subconscious nightmare you got trying to get a friend's Hypno to plant some sexy dreams with a gym leader in your head.

Stop being fucking idiots, holy Arceus in heaven.
>>
>>30341203
What if they only provide free service to kids? My mom never explained how they work and i was just told by this asshole neighbor before he ran off.
>>
>>30341197
Maybe he's on vacation? Or a honeymoon? He's like, what, in his twenties now?

Does anyone in Kanto know about their Champion's love life?
>>
>>30340911
So I've drank like 5 bottles of milk already.
Everything's getting woozy.
I'm still sweating and I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
I'd swear my boobs are a bit bigger. Mismagius can tell I don't feel good, she's trying to cuddle up to me.
>>
somebody make a new thread for us to continue our autism
>>
>>30341343
>>30341343
>>30341343
Thread posts: 348
Thread images: 37


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