Greentext thread

>>29354584
that was more sad than funny

>jerk off to cartoon porn
>mom completely abandons you
This has never happened.

>>29354584
What a shitty mom.

>>29354644
You'd be surprised. I've seen moms completely abandon their children for less.

>>29354584
this wasn't what I expected

>>29354663
A friend of mine got disowned because he didn't get straight A's. The subject he fucked up in was History.

>>29354644
My mom tried to snap my Diamond cartridge in half because I wasn't making all A's and B's in high school. Some people are fucked in the head and also happen to be unqualified mothers.

>>29354745
If my mom ever tried something like that, her neck would be the next thing to snap.

>>29354764
Pretty much. I crush gripped her hand until she let go. Bought that shit with my own money and sank 500 hours into it. I still feel I was well within my rights to defend my property.

Luckily the cartridge was unharmed, in retrospect I doubt her flabby arms could've done any damage.

>>29354869
Pearl was my first game ever. If she tried what you just described on it, she would have REALLY been in for a world of pain.

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>>29354910
It definitely sounds like Pearl was your first game.

Tell me, have you named your techniques or are you more of a silent killer?

>>29354964
Named them. But only a few :^)

>that day when mom finds my notebook full of gay bondage drawings
>I was just 8 years old

>>29355045
Holy shit

>>29355031
>I bet I can damage control back to safety with the shitposter emoticon!
No edgelord-chan, you're a few genuine responses too late for that.

>>29355045
Hey if you were drawing porn at 8 that's pretty impressive

>this thread

Never change/vp/

I caught my mom once playing my Platinum and she released my shiny Gabite for no reason and I was pissed.

>>29355139
Well that was probably bad and out of proportions. All I can remember now is a bunch of chained up buff men in a dungeon.
Why 8 years old? I think I was in elementary second grade.
And I also learned to fap at this age. I imagined nude Boris Yeltsin while squishing my small dick with 2 fingers.

>>29355225
Is it wrong if I find that somewhat interesting.

>>29355045
similar story
>be little kid
>good at drawing
>friend dares me to draw naked people
>i do
>he says give the dude a boner
>i comply
>he writes some text bubbles near it making the girl say shit like "oh yeah put your penis in my vagina and pee all over me"
>and other similar shit, because kids don't actualy know how sex works
>he dares me to draw him cumming
>nigga i'm like 9 i don't fucking know what that is
>he says he thinks it's supposed to look like tadpoles
>draw a bunch of tadpoles shooting out his dick
>i'm about done with this shit, it's boring, and i wanna get back to drawing dragons
>later that day mom finds the drawings
>absolutely livid
>mfw she burns the drawings of a bunch of naked people covered in tadpoles saying shit like "shit on my chest"
>mfw i have no face
my friend was a wierdo

>>29355092
k

>>29355390
It reminds me when neighboring country girl told me everything about sex.
I did not believe her because it sounded really disgusting.
It disgusted me even more when I found out that the whole thing is true.

>>29355275

Yes, it proves that barafags are deranged monsters from birth that need to be aborted in the womb.

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>>29354764
MOM'S GONNA FREAK

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>>29354584
Went from laughing my ass off because dad sounds awesome, to sad because mom is a cunt. good post.

>>29354745
Your mom was actually right tho.
You're much better off playing Platinum than that inferior crap.

>in 7th grade
>drawing some pokemon while waiting for the teacher to arrive
>some weird kid I've never seen before is standing in the corner of the class next to the trash cans
>keeps staring at me
>teacher walks in, everyone sits down
>"we have a new student"
>it's the weird kid
>I'm sitting in the back of the class, a few empty seats around me
>realization
>"why don't you go sit next to anon over there?"
>fuck.jpg
>he keeps looking at me and doesn't say a word
>during lunch break he follows me around
>"Do you like pokemon, anon? Could you draw one for me?"
>sure
>later I give him the Lugia drawing he wanted
>we talk about pokemon every lunch break
>sometimes he asks me for a few other drawings, all of Lugia
>one day he wants me to draw something for him again
>"Could you draw a Lugia eating its trainer?"
>I'm confused but alright
>later he asks one of the teachers if he can use a computer "to do his homework" because he doesn't have one at home
>"anon I need to show you something"
>he shows me like fifteen pokemon vore comics, most of them include Lugia
>what the actual fuck dude
>tell a teacher what he's doing
>I've never seen him after that, apparently he went to a different school again
jesus fuck what was wrong with that kid

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>>29356321
>weird kid
>lugia

I knew where this was going already.

>>29355787
What the fuck.

>>29355787
A timeless classic. Did we ever decide on a name for that Anon?

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>>29356451

Lugia is perfect but you're wasting its potential if you only want it for vore.

>>29355787
Are there any updates after that? Has the guy killed himself?

>>29356714
Hopefully