ITT describe your favorite pokémon in haiku format

Step 1: Take a Mew
Step 2: Force it to give birth
Step 3: A Mewtwo

A lightning beast-god
A sibling of water dog
And the fire cat

It's Raikou, if it's too terrible to tell

>>29206245
Sexy tentacles
I am not a water type
I'm tentacle bait

Unseen warrior
With armor of earthly flesh
Hiding in the dark

Like the moon over the day
my genius and brawn are lost
on these fools ~ Haiku

>>29206245
This pile of garbage
Is my lovely awful boy
But fuck does he reek

My power faded
By some fucking flaming bird
Also fuck you rocks

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>>29206245

>>29206596
Alakazam?

>>29206598
Trubbish or Garbodor

>>29206626
Charizard

Screaming all the time
He's a god damn goalie mask
Needs to shave his beard

>>29206731
Regigigas?

Large bear of mountains
Does he block paths? Open them?
Both age old questions

Two pairs of wings
Wielding venom and soaring through the night skies
Found power in true friendship

Bro you should slow down
Slacking off is healthy oh
shit something bit me

Keeping it current
As the forrest ebbs and flows,
Home among the kelp

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Beautiful angel
You are amazingly smelly
My one true princess

>>29206731
M-Glalie

>>29206777
...snorlax? Is snorlax a bear?

>>29206777
Snorlax

>>29206787
Crobat

>>29206793
Slowbro

>>29206795
Clamperl?

>>29206245
Shrooms, Dinos, Boxing?
It's all batshit crazy in here!
Give it the move Spore

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>>29206655

>>29206787
Crobat!

>>29206846
Breloom

>>29206787
Crobat

Strongest Sucker Punch
Fluffy enough to fuck it
Pointy head and tail

>>29206844
>>>29206793 (You)
>Slowbro

yep

>>29206245
zig zag zig zag zig
zag zig zag zig zag zig zag
zig zag zig zag zig

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>>29206787
>two pairs of wings
>4 syllables

Darkness being longs
For the twenty year fandom
Envies Pikachu

>>29206777
Deep

>>29206913
>4 lines

He's done a 4-7-4-7, not a haiku

He strikes with poison
A red throat, badly swollen
Non water type frog

>>29206245
a striped bandit prowls
rocks on the path are rubble
"received the ultra ball"

Rock hard hips on her
600 base stat total
Yes, yes i said she

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>>29206813
You got it

>>29206950
Stop hitting on girls
I can't take you anywhere
You used to rock, man

>>29206474
Sylveon?

A blade of justice
Became adult at the dawn
Swift death to evil

>>29207104
Could have been a trap
What a waste of a Dawn Stone
Medicham's superior

>>29206551
Anyone?

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>>29206245
Stupid Asshole
Ate all of my fucking gems
but I still love her

>>29206731
Not Charizard, Volcarona.

>>29207179
Diancie is not an asshole, you cunt.

Big burly fucker
Fags cry out 'cause biped cat
Too fucking bad cunts

>>29206245
worst starter movepool
friendly dinosaur
why are you garbage

>>29206795
>>29206844
Not Clamperl

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Water-type serpent
Used to be an ugly fish
Now she's beautiful.

>>29206474
Tangela
>>29206954
Diancie
>>29206951
Linoone or Furret

>>29207171
Take it back, Anon
Patricians prefer Ralts line
Medicham lacks cool

A big fucking whale
Only known for skitty memes,
Oh well, mega when?

A shambling corpse
Eaten from the inside out
White eyes with no soul

>>29206551
>>29207177
OK I give up, it's Shiftry.

Slightly sinister
Arrived from a planet
Has a sweet a trenchcoat

It is a cactus
Whom I love very dearly
Shakes maracas too

>>29207319
fucked that up, second line should be
>Arrived from a far planet

>>29207289
Fairies have more fun
Get that ass checked quite soon
Might be a tumor

Eighteen years of love
A feline by the seashore
You always conquer

>>29206787
Learn what haiku is,
Syllables, five-seven-five
Fucking mouthbreather

Creator of seas
Primal lord of all the storms
No longer supreme

>>29207319
>>29207341
You type poorly, friend.
Are you still learning English?
Is it Beheeyem?

Too much selection
To chose one fav, but my goal:
To catch all of 'em.

wow dude you are huge
the other three are better
why are you so slow

Small, yellow, cute
Fits inside your coat pocket
Just do not get shocked!

>>29207532
Deoxys-D? That or Terrakion

>>29206474
Malamar

>>29207532
Regigigas

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>>29207236

>>29206245
haiku are not five
seven five syllables though
op: a faggot

>>29207695
Literally every result on Google's first page says they're 5/7/5, are you that fucking retarded

>>29207743
gonna have to try harder than that friend

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IT'S FUCKING SHIT
BUT YET WHO FUCKING CARES
i love it always

The beast of the sea
swims and flies and looks cool and
has the best theme song

it looks like a bug
but really it is a plant
and it's very cute

Cute as a button
Likes To cut it's self alone
Someone hide the meds

>Oashawatt

>>29207861
Fatties aren't cool.

>>29207861
Not really a bird
Not a water type either
It doesn't make sense

Rain is pouring down
Great blue frog swims very fast
Play that belly drum

>>29207928
>fat
nigga please
first of all it's an animal

The blue gator with
Real sharp claws and a big jaw
Strikes fear in Johto

Changing with the time
Antlers on top of its head
A graceful prancer

With his green leaf blades
He seems just like plain ol' grass
Waddling through the weeds

Chicken wears flared pants
Bipedal and has twin tails
Speedy fiery cock.

Nobody knows where
The tail on this thing begins
But oh my it's cute

>>29208046
Feraligatr
>>29208069
Sawsbuck
>>29208242
Oddish?
>>29208280
Blaziken

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>>29208539
>Sawsbuck
Correct!

bone in the right hand
and dead mom's skull on your head
rip cubone's mommy

I don't like me lots
I enjoy others much more
Scarves are fabulous

Inattentive cat
Finds pleasure in her own self
Tail waves like tall grass

It took many years
But now you have reached your peak
From gen one onward

I

Fug Fug Fug Fug
Fug Fug Fug Fug Fug Fug
Fug Fug Fug Fug

friendly reminder that a haiku has to be about a season or it's not a haiku. what you're actually engaging in is senryu

friendly reminder also that this whole article btfos you
https://woozle.org/neale/papers/joke-haiku.html

>>29206245

Red/blue rubber duck
Epilepsy is a thing
It does lack a neck

He is really cool
The first Mon I ever used
His mega sucks balls

It got an evo
But it is still a shitmon
Mega Evo when?

>>29210051
Nobody cares
Why don't you see that? Meanwhile,
Suicune is the best.

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>>29206245
Set up Quiver Dance
The opponent used rock tomb
It missed now they die

>>29210051
>>29207695
>nofunallowed.jpg

>>29206474
UB-01

Outclassed in gen 4
Not good except for a gimmick
I want a mega

Devil's companion
Sifting through the plains of ash
Finds his flame and bone

>>29206245
You gotta go fast
With spiky back and sharp claws
Cold in Alola

spider spider spi
der spider spider spider
not ariados

It can't have any
Kids with its own counterpart
It's snowing on My. Fuji

little lizard spaz
really, you're just a gimmick;
a gimmick i love

>>29210343
Spinarak!

>>29207539
denenenenenene

>>29210332
Flygon
>>29210335
Houndoom?
>>29210340
Sandslash
>>29210343
Galvantula/Joltik
>>29210436
Nidoking
>>29210492
Kecleon

>>29206245
Wow, big ol' spider
Fug, it's a damn thunder bug
Galvantula Best!

>>29206245
It's a fucking moth
It's just a big fucking moth
Fuck, that moth is big

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>>29206596

>>29210834
is it that big moth?

That cat looks mundane
More or less a mountain lion
With a red head gem

A sheep without wool
I guess it's also Dragon
It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

>>29210834
based volcarona

>>29210190
Blastíse.

>>29209681
Skitty!

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Dirty Pokemon
Pile of filth, very smelly
Love it anyway

>>29208452
I can't figure this one out.

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>>29210560
Very Good!

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not he-al.
Fear is how I fall

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I want to ride it
A rolling poison horse thing
Bug is not for fug

Fungus among us dense as can be always in shell but also free

Fire-Fighting type.
With blazing kicks and punches,
Clearly the best ape.

>>29206245
Flowing sleeves
Whip fighting of taekwondo
A shaolin stoat

Head enclosed by wood
Now his helmet is broken
He's free from restraint

My blue mask is sick
The fiery tail is but one
Of many weapons