Tell me some jokes. First person to make my day gets it.

>>29063099
You're beautiful :)

>>29063099
There were two people walking down the street and the one from the middle tripped.

What do you call a magic owl?
______________________Bazinga_______________________________

>>29063099
There was a man that was so ugly that nobody liked him.

The End.

>>29063129
>>29063144
Fuck off Pablo

This is a good one, it's a knock-knock joke to play on other people. Doesn't translate well over the internet -

Tell them you have a knock knock joke for them.
Then, tell them that they have to start it off.
Them: Knock knock
You: Who's there?

They suddenly realize how silly they look, because they are not prepared to finish the joke.

File: Francine34.jpg (283KB, 650x650px) Image search: [Google]

283KB, 650x650px

>>29063167
If I get a good reaction out of my friend you win
Be riiiight back

>>29063099
BENIS xD

A lady is shopping at a small butcher shop. When her number is called, she tells the butcher "Give me a Long Island Duck"

So the butcher goes into the cooler and comes out w/ a duck, he plops it on the scale and the lady says "Let me see that duck"

So the butcher hands it to her over the counter.

The lady takes her index and middle fingers and sticks them up the duck's butt, then pulls her fingers out, puts her fingers to her nose and smells them. She gets a look of disgust on her face, looks at the butcher and says "This is a Boston Teal. I want a Long Island Duck. Take this back and get me a Long Island Duck."

So the butcher returns the duck to the cooler and comes back w/ another duck. The butcher puts it on the scale, then the lady says "Let me see that duck".

The lady once again sticks her fingers up the duck's butt and then smells her fingers.

"This is a Canadian Mallard. Take it back. What's wrong with you, I said I want a Long Island Duck... go get me a Long Island Duck before I call the manager".

So the butcher takes it back to the cooler and comes out with another. This time he hands the duck to the lady instead of putting it on the scale.

Again the lady sticks her fingers up the duck's butt and then smells her fingers. "Ahhh, now this is a Long Island Duck".

Then the lady looks at the butcher and says "You're not from around here are you?"

The butcher says "No, I'm not"

The lady asks the butcher "Where are you from?"

The butcher turns around, drops his pants, bends over, looks at the lady and says "Why don't you tell me lady"

>>29063099
A straight, christian white man and a gay, jewish black man walk into a bar.
The first man asks the second man "You ever feel like life is setting up a really offensive punchline?"

A6Z758NF8WYWS5VB

An ugly man walks into a bar and sees a beautiful, young woman. He goes up to her and asks if she will have sex with him. She say no and calls him a digesting pig. He offers her a million dollars to have sex with him, and she agrees. He then says "How about if I give you one dollar?" The woman replies,"No! What kind of woman do you think I am?" The man then responds," We already know what kind of woman you are, now we are just negotiating the price."

>>29063099
A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.

>>29063227
>digesting pig

>>29063203
HAHA U WIN MY FRIEND SENDING NOW :)

File: Type Null's Name Origin.png (177KB, 1000x800px) Image search: [Google]

177KB, 1000x800px

>>29063099

>>29063099
fuck of francine

File: Nukeface.jpg (21KB, 270x270px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 270x270px

Why is the grass green?

Why is the sky blue?

Why is water wet?

womens rights

File: Francine67.jpg (86KB, 800x735px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 800x735px

>>29063283
>of

So almost all of these are great.
I'm going to post the code in 3 minutes.
Be ready, Sonic.

Made you look

File: image.jpg (1MB, 2592x1936px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2592x1936px

Good luck!

>>29063420
>implying you were the first to redeem it

>>29063099
I don't really care about the code since I'm going to go get one soon, but goddamn I've been trying to get that fucking ACNL card forever, just keep getting dupes of garbage like Chadder.

File: image.jpg (136KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

136KB, 1024x768px

>>29063449
I'm a faggot, but not that big of a faggot.
I got two codes.

File: image.png (105KB, 500x382px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 500x382px

>>29063482
I payed $9 for her

File: IMG_20161011_175443.jpg (4MB, 2992x4000px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 2992x4000px

>>29063099
Francine fag, why must you make AC fans look even more autistic then we all ready are?

Chrissy is better

Black lives matter

>>29063518
Yeah she's one of the more popular ones so she costs more. Marshal, Francine, Chrissy, and some of the Wolf villagers are ridiculously priced compared to most cards. I hope you aren't a Marshalfag too because he costs up to $64 CAD.

>>29063099
Fuck Volcanion, I'll suck your dick for that Francine

File: image.png (209KB, 500x528px) Image search: [Google]

209KB, 500x528px

>>29063563
No anon, I'm straight.

File: rept.png (47KB, 377x293px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 377x293px

>>29063616

>>29063616
I hope you rot to death in a pile of your own filth.

>>29063585
Well a great deal of girls play ACNL as well and they do love him. I still need to get Chrissy, because no one is letting her move out and camp resetting is ass.

Why do you post on the pokemon board anway, /acg/ and /v/ exist.

>>29063099
>A baby seal waddle into a club

there's the joke

>>29063654
>/acg/
Please don't send him there, I don't want to deal with him there.

File: f4571110d51a02adf2fc5ce240501770.gif (426KB, 540x491px) Image search: [Google]

426KB, 540x491px

>>29063664

>>29063674
hes already there you know

>>29063688
Doubt it, Francineposting is not a thing, unlike Marshalposting

File: 1470718615095.png (238KB, 422x201px) Image search: [Google]

238KB, 422x201px

Just report this attention whore and move on. If you feel the need to post, make sure to sage.

>>29063710
lol

File: image.jpg (74KB, 736x1104px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 736x1104px

>>29063710
Challenge Accepted

>>29063674
Too bad, it's where he should be instead of here. /acg/ is dead as hell anyway.
>>29063710
Marshalposting is hilarious though, say "Marshal" and the ever present advocate of unpopular villagers will jump on you.

File: image.png (110KB, 457x355px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 457x355px

>>29063780
I'll revive her for you anon, without shitposting too.

>>29063685
fiiiiiine, ya little fluffy canadian pinata you. Another joke.

>How is life like a penis? Your girlfriend makes it hard.

>>29063827
Aight, I'll check over there

What is the only part of a woman's body that stays warm after she dies?

My penis.

File: 1475731327882.gif (1MB, 550x500px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 550x500px

>>29063834

File: goy.png (1MB, 1200x720px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1200x720px

Two blondes walk into a forest and get lost. They wind up on opposite sides of a river. One blonde says to the other, "hey! how do I get to the other side?"

The other blonde responds, "you're already there."[\spoiler]

I don't have a joke, I'm here to complain about how I have to wait in line for a rapid code rn the cash register lady is being a douche bag

How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw

What's white, black, and red all over?
#blacklivesmatter

There was an American, a Jew and a Muslim riding in an airplane with cargo

The pilot came and said that the plane is getting too heavy and they need to throw their cargo that they can easily find back in their country

The American threw out his cargo of guns "I have lots of those in my country"

The jew threw his cargo of Yamaka's "I have lots of those in my country"

The Muslim grabbed the Jew and threw him out "I have lots of those in my country"

>>29063099
some jokes

File: kek.png (55KB, 259x224px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 259x224px

>>29064114

File: f8bad28c53a61154ef1331a2ceba41e5.jpg (352KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

352KB, 1536x2048px

I hate pedophiles because they are fucking immature assholes.

>>29064394
hehehe

File: 1458517863779.gif (981KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

981KB, 500x375px

>>29064394
Okay, this one's actually pretty good.

A child and a pedophile are walking through the woods. The child turns to the man and says "Gee mister, these woods sure are scary " and the pedophile says "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone?"

>>29064743
I fucked up. That last ? should be a !

>>29063640
What did he do?

>>29065307
Tailsposter

>What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years, your job will still suck.

>What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

>What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? There are twenty of them.

File: IMG_1302.jpg (33KB, 355x442px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 355x442px

>>29065318

"Life is like a Penis,
Its just hanging there freely.
Its the women that make it hard.

>>29063099
We are already death, life is hell.

>>29067834
Not for me though