Read me a bedtime story, /vp/. Pretty please.

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I'll never fall asleep if no one reads to me. >:(

There was once a slowpoke

>>28562295
and? ;~;

>>28562313
Hold on I'm getting there

He didn't understand metaphors

There once was a trainer from nantuckett.
Who had a Braxien and decided to fuck it.
The Braxien used psychic
and shriveled his dick,
then the trainer decided to tuck it.

Or puns

>>28562138
There once was an ugly Binacle. He was so ugly that everyone died.
The end.

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One time when I was a teenager I had the worst reputation on the school ever. I never actually fought with anyone or anything but people were afraid of me because (apparently) I always had a face like I was about to punch someone.

With that said, this one time a friend of mine paid me a buck of play a prank on a girl on our class that involved touching her hips. I did that for whatever, she hit me back because of course it was retarded that I did that, but whatever, didn't went farther than that and it's not like she hates me nowadays.

What did happen tho it's her boyfriend at the time heard of that story and got ultra turbo blast mad at me because I touched her (no really) and told that same friend of mine that I would have to fight him out of the school.

Class is over, I went out and I met him. He recognizes me for the supposedly troublemaker I'm and his attitude complete changes and he starts apologizing and asks if I could not do that again.

I said yeah sure and went home. I'm still friends with his girlfriend and I think they are still together as well.

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Yawn...

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These stories are shit! Instead of sleeping I'm going to kill myself. Rip me. You guys lost a super cutie girl! X-X

>>28562393
meh I will still sleep tonight.

Because he's slow, get it?

>>28562393
oh and you don't have to kill yourself.

One day he looks behind and he has no tail

And he says that's weird innit?

There was once a boy from Kanto.

>>28562553
Whose eyes weren't so slant-o.

>>28562553
Who enjoyed performing in Panto.