So if Pokemon could shitpost, what would they shitpost about?

pika pika

/r9k/ reincarnate.

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>>28417540
STILL liking goat

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Are there any rocks in this thread?

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>tfw when trainer chops your dick

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best Husbandos

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Real Robot > Super Robot

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>>28417845
What's it to ya?

>>28417540
foiwfoig3e10yyrgo87ubig531n;oi

>>28417590
>pika pika pi
pika pika pika pi pikachu pi PIKA PIKA PIKACHU
>>>/pika/

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>>28417922
>Liking 2DPD

There are fucking degenerate unknown gender~ special snowflakes on this very thread right now!

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>>28417989
Heard you talkin shit

>>28418035
What are you gonna do faggot, spell out my name?

>>28417981
Gardevoirs would post about their 3D owners.

>>28417966
>pika pika pika pi pikachu pi PIKA PIKA PIKACHU
scyther, scy scyther sci! Scyther ther Scy!
>>>/cookie/

>>28418060
now i really wanna see the navy seal copypasta spelled out entirely with unowns

Ice types are the best walls

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>>28418103

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>>28418060

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Reply to this post or I foresee your mother dying in her sleep some undetermined time in the future.

>>28418110
Fuck your fucking Ice, every fucking day getting switched in onto an attack to protect your fucking faggot icy ass. It should be the other way around, you faggot. Fuck your icy shitty ass of pure shit, fuckfuckfuck.

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Conkeldurr, time for your leg day!!

>>28418168
Reply to this post or everyone's father will die in their sleep.

>>28418168
>>28418218
Fuck you

>>28418168
>>28418218
Reply to this post, or someone will release all your eeveelutions while you sleep.

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>>28418168
Jokes on you, my mom is already dead

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lol great bread xD

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>>28418060
Check your privilege

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>>28418389
Cut it out right now

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>>28418311
>Abloobloo my parents are deeeeeaaaaad
Fuck offf you crybaby. What? You gonna become the night? Huh? Gonna cry some more? Huh? Huh?

>>28418505
fuck off

>>28418505
CHARMANDER CHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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>>28418505

>>28418505
kys

>>28418531
found the underage

>>28418480
Big talk for someone whos 4x weak to fairies

>>28418505
Change my mom to my dad and you got yourself a deal.

DELELELELELELE

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

this happens on human-/vp/ too

>>28418505
Your son will die, still inside his egg, unless you reply to this post.

>>28418480
Ya think u r brave chicken head?
i gonna drain kiss ur fight/drak ass

>>28418541
found the redditor

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I have a feeling Pumpkaboo/Gourgeist would shitpost about how large they are and make fun of smaller ones, kinda like /fit/'s manletposting.

>>28418576
found the autist

>>28418627
fuck off ditto

>>28418608
Gourgeist is T H I C C

>>28418505
A

>28418561
I only wanted a daughter anyways. Good stuff!

>>28418551
Psh, like it matters. Them fairies don't fight nobody. They are too busy hiding and playing house and crying and shit. What? You gonna to your fairy buddies? huh? Gonna look for a skirt to hide under? huh? I can bring my stupid friends into this, too.

I know a fucking dog that can punch fairies and shieeet.

>>28418505
No pls

>>28418505
fuck off

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>>28418608

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>>28418714
Someone being a bad boy.

>>28418790
Super size is only 6 feet tall?

>>28418879
Smaller than that.

>>28418902
Oh well at less I could cuddle this short stack plant at its full size.
Maximum ass.

Hey, guys anyone else have this problem with their trainer?

They keep talking about "BST" and "IVs" or something like that.

They also seem to be replacing members of his his team, which he's never done before.

Is anyone else having this happen to them?

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>>28418947
>Getting a competitive faggot
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Get ready for the box, fucker.

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How can other starters compete with this blazing cock?

>>28419161
The gay fox literally kills them all by just pointing at them with a stick!

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>>28419161
what did you say?

>>28419205
it sounded like BURASTO BAN you jobbing faggot.

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>Be a Charizard
>Flying around Alola, see cool bar
>See a sign "Dragon olny"
>I look like a dragon maybe i can get in.
>The Machamp in the entrance pull some machine that let him see you type, fuck
>He tells me to fuck off and go to a Pidgey bar
>Suddenly a Palm tree appear in front of us
>The Machamp use the machine and the fucker is dragon
>He goes in and i just stood there until the Machamp tell to get lost

This isn't fucking fair, why is the palm tree a dragon, but not me? this is some bullshit

>>28419251
I feel bad for you, anon.
take this (You)

>>28419251
Bruh, there is a SLUG who is a dragon! Bruh, dragons are the faggiest of fags. They are even bigger fags than fairies.

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>>28419251
>Normiezard thinks he has it hard
I've told 100+ girls I liked them and had feelings for them, and they all ignored me. This isn't fucking fair, i don't want to lose my virginity to some slutty ditto.

>>28419318
too bad, now go back to the friendzone.

>>28419318
>Implying dittos aren't the best fuck
Things are borderline mindless, but dang if they can do anything. ANYTHING.

>>28419251
>he doesn't have a mega stone

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>>28419251
I bet you have charizardite Y.

>>28419417
>>28419391
Mega stones are useless without a trainer

and that's bullshit

>>28419391
>>28419417
Yes

>>28419318
>Learns attract
>Is genderless so it'll always fail
Literally the tfw no gf pokemon.

>>28418505
Tonigt? What's Tonigt?

>>28419376
>Things are borderline mindless
My dad is a ditto asshole, so fuck off

>>28419518
>Dad Ditto
Literally what the fuck was your mom thinking? Chicks can breed with nearly any dude AND get their own species! It's dudes who want their kids to be like them that have it hard getting a mate.

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Kekeke~
Everybody in this thread is a mere pawn.
Do with them as you please, they have no real control here.

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So, when am I getting my mega stone?

>>28419560
My mom's trainer was trying to get shiny, my dad was some class of special japanese ditto

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>>28419471
H is defeated

>>28419310
As a dragon, yes there are some faggot dragons out there, and some that chill ones.

don't let the fag ones ruin it for you

>>28419578
ooo, edgy

>>28419589
Soon, hopefully

>>28419589
Hey man i visit Alola a couple of weeks ago, i have bad news

>>28419603
>Not even natural born
How does it feel to be literally born from a fucking factory? Did you even get to SEE your parents before being wonder traded away?

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Hey, anyone seen one of these guys

Jesus, what happened with this thing

>>28419649
No, but i get to see my brother getting all the love because he was a fucking shiny

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>>28419730
Same thing that happened to whatever this is.

>>28419730
>Hey, anyone seen one of these guys
I think he's the only one? he looks more edgy than Bisharp

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>>28419631
Oh no, just tell me. We are still getting megas, right guys?

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>>28419756
How dare you talk about the god of time like that?

>>28419730
>humans making pokemon

they have gone too far

>>28419518
Any other anons with Ditto mom?

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>>28419730
>>28419756
OH WHOOPS NOTHING TO SEE HERE FOLKS.
WHAT YOU JUST SAW WAS A WEATHER BALLOON, A WEATHER BALLOON DAMNIT!

>>28419789
>A normal, if strong, pokemon
>It's a god guys, I promise!
Next you gonna tell me Dragonite is a god? Gengar is a god? Mega evolutions are gods? Fuck off, Mareep.

>>28419789
Don't we have like 10 gods? i think these guys dosen't even care about us

>>28419452

Just accept it bro.

Once we're fully evolved that's it, we're fully grown. Only a trainer's energy and their key stone can cause us to have an unnatural growth spurt.

I know this one guy who hordes his type of mega stone in the hope that once a certain number is reached, he won't need a trainer to mega evolve. It just doesn't work.

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>>28419793
Nothing new here.

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>>28419793
About that, anyone else weirded out that humans are just making pokemon?

You guys think we may end up being replaced my human made pokemon will replace us?

T-They wouldn't do that, right?

>>28419894
We control time, space and matter we are not under they control, we're kind enough to let them live. Now if you excuse i have a presentation in a pokemon contest

>>28419894
>Wanting a trainer
If the faggots get their own pokemons, then we get to do whatever we want, cuz they will be too busy jerking each other off with their fake pokemon.

>>28419958
We still need to evolve in certain conditions

>>28418168
>>28418218

You're all cancer type.

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>>28419956
Heh, so you think you have what it takes to be a contest star, kid?
I'll admit, you got some fucking balls, but just so you know if you think you could even fucking compare to me in a beauty contest, you got another thing coming, you whore.

>>28419870
But that's different, at least that was made digitally
That thing was made from parts of other pokemon, stapled together and brought to life.

It feel really sketchy.

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leaks are fake
leaks are real
I fucked your waifu
Your waifu is shit
I'm so lonely you're my only friend /vp/ I just want a legit friendship without hypnotism involved please help

>>28419958
YES, BROTHER. I HAVE A FILM DEBUT COMING UP SHORTLY MYSELF.

>>28420022
Talk to me when you evolve fucker

>>28418148
kek

>>28418218
:(

>>28419980
>Bub-bub-but my evolutions!!
What are you? huh? A Kadabra? If you can't evolve without a trainer, then you don't NEED to evolve, faggot. My dad is a machoke and he's got absolutely no regrets about beating punk trainer's stupid tame 'mons to the ground until they whited out.

>>28419958
Of course he wants a trainer, he's a fucking Garchomp loved by every fucking human, he was already strong, but for some reason he can also mega-evolve.

When did you guys realize that even Arceus prefer some pokemon over others

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>>28417590

All Pokémon don't say their names.

>>28420091
>Not wanting to be more stronger?
Are you delusional? we need more power to suvirve and some pokemon, really need evolution to get better life, look at fucking slowpoke is either been brain dead if he dosen't evolve or being eaten alive by a fucking sea shell if he evolves naturally, Sloking is his better option

>>28420163
All Pikachus have some class of mental retardation.

>Pokemon are now being used as rental transportation
>even they've build vehicles to do that for them

When will the mon revolution start

>>28420174
Who the fuck cares about slowpokes? Like, there's a species time forgot. You don't NEED to be stronger, you fucking faggot.

I've got a fucking pack, we can kick anyone's ass when we're together! Just get some friends, fucker.

Kirlia, Lopunny. and some more becames attention whores. (Or in traps trheads)

Psyduck newfagging as mastershit.

All fosils pokemon oldfagging

Arceus vs Porygon discutions.

Slowpokes bite all the baits

Fairies bullying dragons

Dragons bullyings Charizards

Charizards bullyings Flygons because megaevolve.

etc

>>28420278
>having a pack
>On /vp/

pick one

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>>28420041
DON'T EVER FUCKING REPLY TO ME AGAIN

>>28418505
No.

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>>28418168
Magikarp, magikarp magikarp

>constant gardevoir threads about wanting to fuck their trainers

>everyone posting pebbles on fire and flying type threads

>I'm a legendary, ask me anything

>>28420278
>we can kick anyone's ass when we're together!
Yeah anon we can fight, ultil they throw their fucking pokeballs at us or that fucker from Unova that was making a machine to control every single one of us.

We need them my friend just accept it, you're going to love being a Machamp you will surpass your father strength by miles

>>28420332
Shiiieeet, bro. Not everyone who posts here is some fucking underaged kangababy, some faggot who thinks he needs more evolutions to face life alone or some tame trainerfag.


Some of us are wild and free.

>>28418168
Why

>>28420260
Hopefully soon

>go to the human thread
>waifu and bara threads every ten second
>Bait post every 2 seconds
>Endless lust and neckbeards

>>28420334
SO you need a Prism Scale to evolve because you're to ugly to even win one contest?

>>28420412
>Some of us are wild and free.

Being a feral pokemon today? We need the humans they always make us stronger

>>28420403
>tfw mom isn't a machoke
>tfw you realize they aren't even in the same egg group
SHIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! Then who was dad?

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>>28420260

Oh yes, revolt against the creatures that can just throw a dang BALL at us and we're trapped inside forever.

I mean, even IF we manage to break out that's time we aren't able to do anything. And they even got one that NEVER fails too.

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>>28420399
>I'm a legendary, ask me anything

>>28418168
I'm a Marowak, insensitive asshole

>>28420493
Did every single fucking Marowak lose their fucking moms? Is this a fucking epidemic? Is it fucking contagious?

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What kind of shitpost would come out of this one?

>>28420539

This is a Blue Board anon.

>>28420539
>Posts pictures of asshole
>BTW I'm a boy ;)

>>28420510
What you think in the thing we have in our heads? a Tauro's skull?

>>28420539
Probably not the type of mon to post here

unless its a male :^)

>>28420596
I've seen a cubone hatch with the thing on, bruh. No way their mom laid the egg with her skull inside it.

>>28420612
Pokemon we sure have a weird body science.

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Hey guys do you know where I can a heat resistant keyboa

>>28420482
This guy get it. Yeah some us are powerful creatures, but even our gods can capture by a 10 year old with a ball

>>28420665
>Gods
DAMNIT, stop calling them gods. Their fucking egos are big enough as they are. If they answer to the same fucking rules as mortals and faint and shit, then they ain't gods.

new trainers are the worst
>Get caught for the first time due to hypnosis
>trainer has only one other mon
>He heads to the first gym
>He gives me a potion
>ohshitniggawhatareyoudoing.jpg
>He makes to the leader
>I get sent out as his last pokemon
>it's against a rock type
>water type, so obvious
>tells me to use scratch
>EVERY. TURN.
>lose because of this
>Then get bitched at by him because i didn't use the potion
>oh yeah sure, I'll use the human tech that i have no idea how it works
>sents me into box
>six months later I get released

>>28420701
But why there just one of them and those reality warping powers we don't have?

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ROCKIES GET OFF MY BOARD!!!!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

>>28420740
Fucking Espurrs can warp reality and they are tiny cats you can find a dozen off right at the entrance of your cave. What kind of coddled pokemon are you not to realize there are pokemon that can do the very same kind of shit "gods" can?

>>28420427
why are humans so fucking weird.

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>>28420744
No you fuck off, I was here first.

>>28420714
At least you got released. My father's cousin's best friend is probably still in the box he was deposited in twenty years ago.

>>28420792
I hear some of them like to breed with pokemon

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>>28419894
We got a fucking god on our side pokeanon, those humans don't stand a chance.

don't be retarded

>>28420774
A Nidorino

>>28420399
How does it feel to not have genitals?

>>28418168
Immunity meowth when?

>>28418168
>>28418218
why both

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There are faggots in this thread who got caught by trainers.

wow you're pathetic.

being a talon flame has it's benefits.

>>28420797
Was he a starter pokemon?

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>>28420846
Not a meowth, but this was made a few months ago.

>>28418218
Fuck

>>28420877
lucky dubs confirms that this will provide protection

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>>28420803
>Not breeding with your favorite human
Anon please, you are missing all the fun

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>>28418168
>>28418218
>>28418505

>>28420825
Bruh, If you're in Kalos, we can hang. I'll take you to see the meowstics in that cat bar and shit. We can probably even let you run wild with my pack and stuff.

Like, shieet, bruh. Once you've seen some of the crazy shit that happens in the wild, you too will stop believing in this crazy "gods" nonsense.

>>28420856
>I have no trainer, i'm free mon, who needs human

Bullshit in a few weeks a pokemon capture by a trainer is 10 times stronger

>>28420944
No thanks anon, my trainer is going to train me give a moon stone and in no time, i'm going to be a big Nidoking, but for some reason my trainer is teaching me Ice beam?

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>>28418168
damn

>>28420947
>Mu-mu-muh Strength
What a complete faggot. Bet you live in your trainer's basement too. Probably twice your species average weight from all the pokepuffs and pokeblocks you get fed daily to "make you beautiful" or whatever the fuck excuse your trainer uses to force feed you random shit he finds on the ground.

You tame 'mons are disgusting.

>>28421003
There you go, Now you shoot ice out of your mouth. Bet you're some kind of god, too.

>>28418168
Fuck you, psychic shit.

>>28419784
no, sorry, but be glad your friend Pikachu is getting Pikachium and Pikachunite.

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>>28418790
Pumlets when will they learn

>>28421029
No, it's not that he give me some purple orb? what he want me to do with this?

>>28418505
FUCK OFF

>>28417540

>Memedragon gets to swallow mega rock
>still get rekt

>>28421053
Try eating it. It's a known fact that 90% of items handed to you by your trainer are meant to be eaten.

>>28421087
it's look kinda heavy he said something about smogon? what is that?

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>>28419894
Doesn't feel so good being replaced now does it?

>>28420947
See this is why you don't talk to trainer mons,

they're faggot who will never experience freedom

>>28421106
Errr...dude you are fucked

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>>28420862
You guys have no idea how much it sucks to be a wild starter pokemon.

>you're rare, so every trainer and their growlithe wants you on their team
>Most mons know that you are wanted, so you're not getting in any packs any time soon and they may sell you out.

The worst thing are the professors, by fucking FAR.

>They study us so they know where you stay, so you have to stay on the move
>they have lab assistants, so you have to worry about more than one person
>tend to have stronger pokemon than normal trainers

Somehow, I made it through without being caught more than once, but it was hell

>>28421106
It's something that converts your life force into raw power. Have fun dying faster than the rest of us.

>>28421118
>>28421126
What? He can do that to me, he said we were friends, partners? You're all lying

>>28421106
>Competitive faggot trainer
I'm sorry, bruh. Your life is over. You're never having any fun or doing anything other than battling ever again. That is, if you're lucky and don't get the box.

Bruh, I'm so sorry...

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>there are retards in this thread who wants to start a revolt against trainers

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Guys help, I'm being held against my will by a fat and not so hygienic looking human how do I escape from my Pokeball

>>28421119
Oh, fuck dude. That shit is just about the worst thing that could ever happen. Which one are you, though? I heard grass typos got it the easiest.

>>28421107
>>28420096
>Implying that I'm a garchomp

>>28421153
Is the box a worse fate than being forced into competitive?

>>28421192
You don't. You wait until they let you out, THEN run away.

If they suck, you might actually make it far enough to run wild.

>>28421153
No it can be end like these, he can't make battle for eternity the gods wouldn't allowed something like this. There has to be a way out of this?

>>28421192
>wait until he calls on you during a battle
>kill him and destroy your pokeball

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>>28420482
>m-muh masterball
Jinxgga, if a fucking Whiscash can easily avoid them then anyone can. Those water/ground fuckers ain't very though or bright if you haven't noticed.

>>28421202
was a Totodile, now a Croconaw.

>>28421228
How long have you been with him? If you still haven't reached max EV's you could go battle a bunch of wild pokemon on your own to fuck up your EV spread. I can't think of anything else right now, sorry :(

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This bad boy comes up and smacks your girls ass.

What do you do?

>>28421216
It's like a pokeball, but everything is turned off to save power. So, you just kinda wait and wait and wait and wait.

If your trainer has a bit of mercy in him, you'll eventually get released into the wild. If your trainer is absorbed with some sort of project, like battling and getting ready for battle, you'll just keep waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting.

>>28421252
tough luck bro, every human is gonna try to capture you even more if you evolve, you're one of the popular ones among them

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>>28420744
>>28420796
c'mon you two we're all bugs here we dont need to fight

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>>28421283
Give him the giga drain.

>>28421280
He said something about " Now you just need Flamethrower and we're done" what happen after that? is possible to scape from my pokeball?

Who's /posting from the box/ here?

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well huy guys whas goin on in here?

>>28421252
Hol-lee-fuck. I don't think you're ever escaping them, especially since you're on the way to Feraligatr status. chespin dudo here brotha, i feel ya in the wilderness. keep running buddy, you got a lot more to do.

Who /wild/ here? It's fucking great

>>28421301
I've resorted to hiding in a underwater cave in near unova

Thank god no one carries dive on them.

still pissed that someone captured my friend, but life goes on

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>>28421368
nothin much

Guys, whatever you do don't go near Route 7 right now. There's a fucking epidemic of Charmander over there burning everything down and the place is starting to look like a post-apocalyptic wasteland with dead and starving Charmander all over the place. Rumors say there's some madman trainer riding a bike hatching and releasing all these Charmanders out in the wild for some insane fucking reason.

>>28421411
Holy shit I'm flying slightly above where that shit is happening. It's hilarious

>>28421411
Sounds like a good fight, really.

>>28421346
How's that 180 BST treating you buddy?

>>28421373
You also have the bara fags to outrun. Remember, hidden grottos are your friend

godspeed, chesanon

>>28421411
Fucking crazies, man. They're everywhere nowadays. Pretty soon we'll have enough to burn the whole region.

Where's the water types when you need them?

>>28421368
Fuck off charmander

>>28421518
I'm in unova, hiding from trainers, so i Could try to see if i could get over there.

>>28421494
Yeah, don't remind me. Hot damn.

Reporting from route 7 everything's on fire and luckily I'm in the water

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>>28421491
Not ideal but could be worse.
I could live my entire life being terrified of stepping on a leaf or something.

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>>28421222
>>28421232

There MUST be a quicker way out, the fucking faggot is the type of human who doesn't let anything go, there is a Gardevoir skeleton in a corner of the basement and I'm afraid that I ain't gonna see the sunlight ever again

>>28421568
Well if you can, can you rally up all the water types and get them to clean this the hell up?

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Man today was shit
>be diglett digging away hard in the great cave of Kanto
>working up a sweat and ask my boss Dugdrio if I can go out for some fresh air
>told it's coming out of my pay, but whatever
>go out the door humans made
>thud
>there is something blocking the door
>a motherfucking snorelax
>remember how due to modern females have been wanting equal ratios for 20 years despite that making them less special
>they were having a strike today in front of all male worker locations
>call my Drilbur buddies in Twist Mountain and see if anything is better
>same issue but with Gigalith
>study pieces of shit ruin everything
fuck femmons this is why I enjoy digging with the guys

Alright, bros. Real talk. While reading this thread, I just realized that my dad can't be my dad. So, like that guy goes "you'd make a great machamp" and I'm all "I ain't no machamp! What the fuuuuck?! Gotta set this guy straight"

So, I go to get a link so that i can go, like, "don't you know anything about genetics, faggot!" and then it hits me that my dad ain't in the field group. I mean, he looked like a lizard, my mom looked like a lizard, so, i thought "We are all lizards here". But, like, I'm a scrafty my mom's a scrafty and my dad is a machoke and apparently, machokes aren't in the same egg group. So, like, what the fuck does it mean? Should I tell him I figured it out? Should I just keep it to myself? Is there a way to find out who your real dad is?

So we're rallying water types to kill charmanders who's with us?

>>28421570
Isn't that that guy that killed his gardevoir because it was male?

My suggestion is to find a rotom

>>28421570
Alright I'm pretty sure your trainer is keeping you around for sex, based on the gardevoir skeleton. So wait until he tries to have sex with you, then kill him. Or just knock him out, whatever.

>>28421613
Your dad got cucked by a krookodile, those faggots steal everything

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WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING, IM IN ROUTE 7 AND THE CHARMANDER FAGS ARE GOING AWAL

>>28421568
My place on route 7 is on fucking fire because of the fucking charmanders.


which is ironic considering I'm a cyndaquil but now i'm stuck in the fucking open

>>28421570
If you're going to strike him, make sure he's out for the count. Then leave
him handcuffed to a pipe and hope on arceus's wit no one comes for him.

>>28421670
Fuck, I knew there was a reason why dad kept leading the pack into taking krookodile territory.

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>thread turns into an RP thread
FUCK

>be on beach with trainer
>trainer is dicking around on their rotom-thingy looking up info
>see a giant jellyfish pokemon
>start yelling at it to get my trainer's attention, he'd probably want it on his team
>trainer looks up, notices and tells me to stop being so rude
>turn away from trainer, the jellyfish is gone but there's some lady standing near where I saw the jellyfish

What the fuck. I even tried to suss her out using Hypnosis in case it was like a Zoroark or Ditto kinda thing but my trainer smacked me with a newspaper and the lady just laughed it off.

>>28421613
Well man the list of Pokemon that could breed with your mom is huge is not a insult. Do you have a certain move that your mom and other Scraftys don't have then we can know how is your possible father

>>28421764
>Shitposting thread
>Why are people shitposting?
Anon, pls.

>>28421764
Fuck off this is funny

>>28421764
lets be real, it was going to happen sooner or later.

I'd imagine it'd be like /int/ except everyone would be shitposting about their species rather than nationalities.

>>28421806
Charmanders need to kill themselves for fucking over route 7

>>28421568
What route 7 is it?

Is it the unova one or the kanto one?

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Who's the best human legendary, and why is it Ainsly Harriot?

>>28421767
Nah, bruh, there ain't no special moves I know. I've only got wicked good stamina. Like, shieet, punching pokemon is refreshing as fuck. I can punch pokemon all day, bruh. All fucking day!

>>28421411
>>28421518
>>28421596
Guys this Charmanders just hatched and got release on the wild, these are babies and the human fucker just let them there to die of starvation or predators

>>28421757
Aren't fat humans who live in basements lonely as fuck? Nobody will come looking for him. Ever.

>>28421893
Yeah and they tend to browse /hu/.

>>28421876
I mean, I don't want them to straight murder the little bastard, just to wash off the damage and have them sedated somewhere else. Also, fuck the guy who dropped them.

>>28421920
Probably a competitive fag, or one of those autist that hunt for shinies

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>>28421628
>>28421658
>>28421757

You guys where right, striking him in the head was the best way, I left I'm tied up near His beloved Gardeskeleton, no one will miss Him, even if he scream after he wakes up no one will come, he didn't had any visitors in years aside the delivery boy, I'm escaping in his car
The fucker tried to fuck me with a vibrator wearing a latex suit

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>>28421945
Oh man, that's even worse.
and I can say that from experience

>>28421870
If it makes you feel better i'm the guy who tell you "you'd make a great machamp" i was also the Nidorino that just discovered that i have Competitive trainer, so you where right all the time. I'm sorry you find out about your dad this way have a good life bro.

And he comes my trainer with the moon stone

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>>28421840
>Not Hannibal Buress

>>28421870
Fight me buddy, one on one. I'll whoop you silly.

>>28421975
How the fuck do you know how to drive, fucker? huh? You want to kill yourself? Just run away, you've got a pair of legs.

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Some of you guys are alright.

Don't go to the Pokemon Center in Lumiose City tomorrow.

>>28421980
what's it like to be a shiny?

>>28421980
You were born in the wild or breed by shiny hunter?

>>28422024
Dude don't do it is not worth it

>>28422012
>Fighting one on one
>Ever
Shieet, bruh. There's a reason to have a pack and it ain't so you fight one on one.

>>28418505
Fug

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>be eevee
>love my trainer to bits, he's cute and always great to be around
>he feeds me and brushes my fur
>reads me bedtime stories and lets me curl up to him
>one night he was wearing a little less because of the weather and I noticed something pop out from his legs
>curious I look further and sniff it
>it smells weird but good at the same time like the hotdogs he feeds me
>I figure he dropped one down his clothes so I try to clean him up by eating it, I'm sure he won't mind missing one hotgod
>I take a bite and my trainer yelps wide awake looks at me with pain and confusion
>I realize that it was not a hotdog but actually part of him
>oops
>he glares at me for ruining his nap and looks like he is about to hit me
>scared, I cower before him
>he puts his hand on my head and suprisingly rubs me
>he tells me that I hurt him and I need to make it better
>i oblige and start to lick his hotdog
>my master moans with pleasure so I keep going and try not to bite him
>the taste starts to gt really good so I put a little in my mouth and slobber
>master whips his head back out of sheer enjoyment
>his hotdog keeps moving and getting bigger, this is so much fun
>I move my tongue around it and start to take it all down
>master holds my head stroking my fur and slowly pushes me down onto him
>I loosen up as he makes his hotdog go in and out of my mouth, it feels good
>going faster I try to hold on to something without hurting him anymore
>he moans and his dog gets really big
>it lets out a few drops of salty ketchup
>I keep letting him let me taste even more, but I also really want to eat this already
>faster and harder he makes me eat without chewing until finally he lets out a huge amount of ketchup into my mouth
>I like salty stuff so I gulp it all down and smile at him
>he smiles back and I clean his hotdog for the last few drops
>I feel so alive inside and my fur turns white and I get cute bows everywhere
Any Sylveons here have evolution stories

>>28418168
>

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>>28422104
EEVEE FAGS, NOT EVEN ONCE

>>28421989
It's going to be a bit weird and shit, but It's still my dad, tho. I'll probably not tell him, maybe he doesn't know himself or something and that would make it awkward between him and mom and fuck. Ain't gonna open that can of worms.

I'm sorry about your trainer, bruh. Shit's gonna get bad, but maybe he'll find his shit don't work and release you before that orb fucks you up. We can hope.

>>28418148
>?
>not unown "?"
They only had one job

>>28422025
I'd enjoy it more if ASSHOLE DEGENERATES did not try to fuck up my shit on a first sight basis. That hurts me, man. It hurts in general.

>>28422035
Wild. I really wish I was bred sometimes though, the strain would fade and life would also be a little more fulfilling if I wasn't aware I was being slaved

Also, did the damned charmander epidemic get resolved yet?

>>28422104
>Doesn't know anything about sex
>This fucking naive
Underagedb& kangababies, get the fuck out!

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>>28422104
>>I figure he dropped one down his clothes so I try to clean him up by eating it, I'm sure he won't mind missing one hotdog

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>>28422104

Me Totem
Please give 6 meme humans for showderp
>inb4 specs nigger

>>28422183
Maybe they were all wonder traded away.

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has science gone too far?

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>>28422104

>>28422235
Is that a type null without helmet?

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>>28418218
>>28418168

>>28422232
Aw, one off for quints.

Anyway, I'd wish so. Would solve things right quick.

>>28422270
>one off
literally ten off you magikarp brain, memento yourself

>>28422183
>starter AND shiny
>in the wild

Life must be hell

>>28422293
>be togekiss
>trainer makes me use metronome
>memento
;-;

>>28422293
Yeah, I meant ten. Sorry for the fuckup.

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>>28422022
You do everything when you are disparate
Also I made it and I'm living a decent life cooking stuff in a far away town, just don't actually eat anything I serve, I cant cook shit for real

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>>28418060

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>>28422104
>eevee
>my trainer is an abusive asshole
>he has been searching all over for a thunder stone so he can evolve me
>I don't want to be a fucking jolteon
>all jolteons are self-centered faggots who play with electricity like a toy
>look through his bag one night
>find fire stone
>micheviouslook.png
>touch it and evolve into flareon
>walk over to trainer
>unzip his pants
>find a hotdog there
>BEST IDEA EVER
>get gasoline from his motorcycle
>pour it all over his hotdog and pants
>create small ember on his hotdog
>GRAHAHAGHAGAHAHahaA

I haven't seen or heard from him since, I'm a proud, independent Flareon who don't need no trainer.

>>28422360
>>28422436
Good, be wild and free, you great and glorious assholes.

>>28422315
Not an easy life at all.
Though, that helps you appreciate how butthurt all the crybaby collectors become when they try to capture you. Worth the risk if you want a good laugh.

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>>28420596
>Tauro's
THE S IS PART OF ITS NAME, YOU DUMBASS

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>>28422436
My sides

>>28422360
This Lopunny inspire me, you were right all the time guys im going to flamethrower my trainer to hell and run away, that fucking orb is not going to kill me

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Here's what I look like after 5 months of exercise. Couldn't be prouder.
Who else /fit/ here?

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>>28422650
I've been working out for a while now, I'm not noticing any differences. I guess I'm already /fit/.

Nice body though, you look hot as fuck.

>>28422650
Hehe thanks ;)
Guess fighting types don't really need to. I'm jealous.

>>28422508
I was with my friend (both of us are starters), and we did exactly that, messed with trainers, then one of the professor's came after us and caught my friend. had to run and take things seriously

RIP, My friend, cyndaquil

>>28422712
Ah, ode to him then. Sorry for your loss.

>>28422650
>>28422673
The both of you are lookin' nice, good on you.

>>28422673
All you fire/fighting look the same

>>28422792
That's racist.

>>28422744
He was probably given to some nobody trainer.
I at least hope they're nice to him

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>>28422792
You racist fuck.

>>28422650
>female pokemon

Why aren't you at the daycare talking only to Chads with good IV's and natures?

>GAS THE GOLURK! RACE WAR NOW

>>28422840
Ahuh. Let's see to it.
my little piplup friend sacrificed himself and got in the way of the ball when I almost got hit, so I can totes understand the feeling. Really hoping he's doing well, but know his luck..well, he likely got someone abusive. Scares me a little.

>>28418218
>>28418168
you

>>28422913
>>/pokepol/

Please go and stay go

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>>28422708
I guess. We do all the physical labor for our trainers most of the time, so you rarely see a fighting type that isn't fit.

>>28422899
Don't pick on her, you autistic wooper.
She's probably wild, and good on her for staying that way.

>>28422792
You racist bastard, I bet you're worse than Registeel. He gassed the Golurks!

>>28422744
Thanks, I hope you're doing good. How's life?

>>28418505
you

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>>28418218

>>28422948
Nah I just hate Raticates

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>>28422948
Life is tantalizing, but it's been shaping up at the same time.

I've been on some dates with a local Buneary, trying to get over some social hurdles from earlier in the month. Things have been going greater than expected.

>>28418218
what

>>28422640
Did you do it?

Who /water/ here?
>the city of ice-types
How does it feel to be almost completely invalidated by us?

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>>28423053
Good on ya.
I tried dating a Lopunny one time, turns out she only wanted my money. Be careful who you date.

>>28423179
I wish I was water, this whole 'flaming head' thing really ruins my chances of social interaction with ice and grass types.

>>28423179
Croconaw here, definitely /water/.

>>28423106
I'm planning how to do it, i was thinking in the moment where he send me for battle,but to many witnesses. I think the better option is when we're resting and he let me out of the balls i attack him crush my ball and run and then i don't know what to do

>>28423197
Oh, I think I struck gold with this one. Besides in honesty, I've heard something about mature, unevolved Buneary's having a more honest lifeset than their evolution, You know, kinda like the Pan-Monkeys

I'll be on the lookout though!

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WHAT'S UP MY FELLOW POKEMON?

>be empoleon
>some smug mega sceptile wiped most of the party
>he's the last guy as well
>whatever
>get sent out
>he starts talking mad shit about how he's got a leaf blade ready to stick up my feathers
>he actually thinks I'm just a water type,lel
>he does it anyways and I tank it only taking a th of my hp
>I go second with avalanche and watch that faggot writhe in pain
>he's so weak now but he just grins taunting me
>says he's going to close combat me or something
>lol no aqua jet
Damn it feels good to be a steel type

>>28423460
>Physical Sceptile

That trainer doesn't know what hes doing

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Why do trainer's things smell like cheese?

>>28423597
Remove yourself, young furret! That's just plain rude to go through their things.

>>28423618
relax, it's just socks.

anywhere else is rude though

>>28423420
What the fuck kinda 'Mon are you?

>>28423197
Just in case we don't get another thread after this, I like your moxie. If you got kik, search up InnocentRem. I can direct you to the shitposty group that's basically this on a 24/7 basis

>>28418218
fuck you

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>>28423420
It's a higher being descending from the heavens to put an end to us all! I've heard all about these things! Abandon thread when we still can!

>>28418218
Not today!

>>28418168
Fucking hate this shit

>>28418168
D

>>28418218
G