You are abandoned as a child in the wilderness and, ala The Jungle Book, you are raised by wild beasts. 2 pokemon (http://randompokemon.com/) happen upon you and decide to bring you up as one of their own. What is your life like? What skills do you learn from you parents? Could you effectively reintegrate into society?
I'd probably wind up dying of dehydration.
>charmander and chansey
Im a hot nurse?
>Drowzee and Hariyama
I think I just got raped.
Mega Aggron and Pupitar.
This could work.
>taillow and glameow
Fuck me.
>>28227479
So Baloo is the Snorlax and Bagheera is the Masquirain?
>Noctowl and Magby
Huh, just huh.
Nope. I live naked and poop and pee everywhere.
Best combo. I fly in my dragon and I have a magical key that can open any lock
>reshiram and palpitoad
I don't even know what would happen.
>Lonely Bibarrel and Lax Nuzleaf
I think I'd be fine. They both seem like jolly fellows.
dude
two shy parents, Goodra is probably a greatdad
I'd be very good at swimming
I AM A DUCK
*DABS*
inb4 le randum redditor posts gardevoir and some other waifumon.
>>28227677
I see Ernie and Bert finally got together
> Jynx and Shiftry
Uh oh
Seems like a lot of fun. They're both relatively humanoid too, so I think I'd handle everything pretty well.
>>28227479
I'd be a good swimmer
>>28227479
I'd be pretty chill, would be at home in some rocky forestland and friends with all the tree spirits
Brave kingler and docile skiploom
I ship them. I can't help but imagine kingler talking like Sebastian from the little mermaid.
>Camarupt
>Yamask
Cameldad and mummybro could probably teach me some important life lessons. I'm just not sure about what.
>>28227479
>Sableye and Reshiram
>legendary dragon that has lived for thousands of years and ruled alongside a king
>ghost that lives in caves and eats rocks (and one of my favorites)
Sounds fun
>>28227689
kek
>>28227479
>Xatu and Sceptile
Life is calm, collected, raised by two wise parents that also know the skill of fighting. They'll teach me to be cautious, think about my future, and to be swift and accurate in battle. I could effectively reintegrate into society, I think.
>>28227479
claydol and glaceon
>>28227479
>M Blasmoist
>Giratina
Fuck you real mom and dad for sending me to the distortion world. No idea what my life is like
Well great, I end up an autistic ninja. Does this even count as two pokemon?
>>28227479
>Hawlucha
>Machamp
I'm going for the championship belt, ma!
>Relaxed Ho Oh and Timid Solosis
At least if I die Papa Ho Oh can revive me I guess
>>28228144
imagine having satan as your foster dad
Giratina would probably be a good dad
>>28228184
don't you meanmom?
>Fearow and Empoleon
Under their tutelage I master both swimming and jumping off shit & getting scolded by Fearow for not flying
>>28228235
either way, you could probably learn a lot from a chaotic neutral ghost dragon deity that has lived longer than humanity has existed and was banished to hell for being destructive
>>28227479
Golem and Kabutops.
Sounds cool
Well, /vp/?
>Goldeen and Lickilicky
I mean... I guess LickiLicky could heal me and Goldeen could teach me how to swim... but I'd still probably die
I get to learn the most important life skill, how to set shit on fire.
The real question is
Can they talk?
Smeargle and Dusclops
At least I'll finally be good at art? And having a ghost bro is pretty neat.
>>28228184
Fucking Geodad.
Would grew a though guy.
>>28228350
You can talk to them, but most people would hear grunts and random animal noises.
Calm Jolteom and Modest Gurdurr
This is pretty gud
This is completely fine
>Entei and Gallade
I'm okay with this.
>>28227479
I...uhh...I don't know
>Sentret and a Slowking
Hmmm
>>28227479
I either go awoo or become the night. Either way, there's no way in hell I'd be able to reintegrate into society.
genius wizard cereal killer hype
"Mom, dad, why don't I have a shell?"
I will learn to be a fierce and savage warrior.
Looks like I'd be a pilot?
>Hoppip and Jumpluff
Comfy livin', getting giant leaves and flying with my kind, swords dancing like no ones business
Pretty sure I'd just be hearing about "kids these days" all the time, maybe have to teach them how to use Microsoft word
>Caterpie and Palkia
I guess I rule the earth now.
>>28232861
Only now did I realize that it's
>bass-TEE-OH-don
not
>bass-TEE-DOH-don
I've never seen this
>>28232969
Gtfo
>>28232969
Tympole, first form of Seismitoad
uh
>>28228294
Probably, but one thing you'll never learn from them isanger management
>>28233069
never played games on wii / ds or anything generally new. hop off my cock
Delcatty and Xerneas. I feel like one of these are somehow redundant.
Tanglea and Mega Tyranitar. I'll grow up to be a bulky human with perfect Defenses, but a fear of bugs.
I have no idea of how this would play out.
>Mega Kangaskhan and Reshiram
A lot of free electricity for life, a thug mom AND a little brother. Beat that.
Huh. Guess the sky's the limit- though I'm a little more curious about how they got together.
moustache delelelewooooooop bug and servine. not the greatest.
>>28227479
I just got fucking Cranidos and Dwebble. This is gonna be a rocky road growing up HAHAHAHA
>>28233297
you mean free fire, right friend?
at least i have something nice to sleep on
>>28227479
could be worse
Eh?
I was going to say life would be jovial...but they're both serious so no clue.
I think only one of my poképarents is going to be of any help.
>>28227479
Great, I'm going to get mildly molested while Simisage watches and maybe joins in.
>>28227689
You're gonna be weird AF. But unknown R will tuck you in at night with its weird little letter appendages.
>>28228308
You become a Chad with serious insecurity. Your Pokeparents are extreme narcissists.
>>28232100
It's all bird seed and bugs from here. Hakuna Matata.
>>28232792
You have some sort of Magnezone that forgets that not only is he part of three beings, but he also has a Doublade magnetically attached to him.
>>28233695
You are raised in a traditional Asian style life. You must study and train diligently, but your parents will give you a lot of food.
succ
>>28227479
>Gligar
>Tailow
What are those two doing together?
anyay,
my life growin up would be a very parkour one. i cant fly, but im gonna do lotsa jumping and swinging and the like to keep up pace with my parents. my hunting style would be dragoon like... is what id like to say, but the meatiest thing on my plate would probably be bugs. (hay, its a good source of protain). i could return to sociaty, but ill need help from humans to do so.
>>28227479
>Kangaskhan would care for me like one of her own
>Manaphy's Heart Swap can be used to cheat my way through society, such as switching bodies with a billionaire to give myself all their money
The perfect parents.
>2000% Erect
Rash Heatran and Careful Therian Tornadus.
Did I win?
>>28227479
Uh.....fuck yeah
>>28234382
Leavanny is going to be chewing on your donut bro.
>Simipour and Lilligant
Mum and dad, I guess I wouldn't be a mentally ill faggot
>>28234008
Why is there always this one faggot that takes it extra far in the spectrum?
>>28234569
Which one would be the father in this scenario? Both are feminine pokemon.
>>28234588
Nigga we all on the spectrum here
At least I'm protected
>>28227479
>Tyrogue
Oh, that's neat, I'll get to learn how to defend myself from a Fighting type-
> Kyogre
Well, fuck that, I've drowned.
noice
Abusive father that won't show emotion but will strike at my mom when provoked
i am killed and raped by a pack of scrafty soon after i reach manhood
>>28235184
did a second for giggles and got this sitcom of a duo
I'm mostly ok with this
I gotta say, I was honestly shocked to see these results. I mean, seriously, out of 700 plus pokemon randomly chosen I get 2 pokemon from the same "group" and they are both evolved.
Anyway, I got a couple of monkeys raising me, so I'll probably end up like Tarzan, but with a resistance to heat, knowledge of handling fire, and really good at swimming. I imagine I'd be easy to reintegrate into society, but most likely still be a bit of a wild child and have a preference for being near water.
I guess I learn to kick ass from an early age.
>>28227479
>mankey and ursaring
damn i got two pretty cool jungle book characters
A Quirky Tranquill and a Calm Krookodile
A couple of hobo Pokemon who live in the forest but make periodic visits to the nearest city. Tranquill is friendly and shares all her food with other hobo Pokemon and really anyone in need. Krookodile is a bit more realist and steals the food for them. He doesn't like that Tranquill gives a lot of their food away but he lets her because he's kind. :>
>Cresselia and Gothitelle
I'm completely fine, senpai.
Well...
>Mega Steelix and Primal Kyogre
wew lad
I wonder, what would happen?
>>28237012
>Vaporeon
>Chimecho
Could b neat
Naughty Ninetales
Lax Slaking
>>28227479
Mr. Mime would probably rape me whenever he wanted and my only witness would be magby who would never stand up to him
>>28227479
>tentacruel and deoxys s
suppose I'd end up either spending my time underwater trying to poison everything or running until my legs fucking break
>>28227628
>in
I would probably only eat trash and my clothes would be made of trash and leaves
I would learn good salvaging skills butbe stinky as fuck forever
I don't think I could ever really reintegrate into society
guess im growin up on bread crumbs and wine at vacation bible school
>>28227479
>Archen and Amaura
Probably gonna grow up to be a paleontologist, to bring back more Archen and Amaura from the dead
I got Bastiodon and Togekiss.
Well Bastiodon would be good at protecting me and I guess Togekiss would be like a motherly figure. Togekiss would probably help me reintegrate into society.