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Pokemon Fanfiction General and Writethread

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Thread replies: 309
Thread images: 77

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/vpwt/: Suspensful HP Edition

>post fanfics you like
>share your own fics, ask for advice, post story updates
>discuss writerly struggles with fellow writefriends

Join us in IRC at [ #vpwritethread on irc.rizon.net ] to discuss your fics, hang out and chat, and be frightened by the regulars!

Previous Thread: >>28059848

Check out the catalog for a directory of fics from fellow writefags,
>https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PtN4D_9CSw8JJ9uO6v0oQqdtKEkS8aFAvfxqI96XfSE/edit?usp=sharing

>Can I post NSFW fics?
Absolutely! There are no rules against NSFW text links.

>How should I post my fics?
Please, for the convenience of everyone involved, link to a host like Fanfiction.net, Pastebin or Google Docs rather than dumping your fics in text posts. This not only keeps the thread tidy (and keeps you from getting an infraction for spam), but it also provides a more permanent place to store your work.

>Can I add a fic I wrote to the catalog?
Sure! Check the catalog for the submission link. In there, you can find a link to a Google Form - fill out all the necessary information and it will be submitted for review automatically. Technology is incredible!

We're also looking to collect ideas for fanfics as a resource for stumped writers. Feel free to throw an idea out there; someone may choose to use it themselves!

Ideabin: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X072SSWulcC6RJRrPA6v9XtyohRybvMBl6Fh49wHsRw

Topic of the Thread: How do you guys handle experience gain in writing? Is strength purely based on strategy and species or could a battle hardened dunsparce take down a legendary? Maybe just somewhere in between those extremes?
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>>28164129
Fic recap:
Ee4ee pops the smut cherry with Gardevoir and her derriere. NSFW
http://pastebin.com/rxEUe5g4
She also made some oddball pairing with Vaporean and Umbreon. SFW
http://pastebin.com/CxvMPcFY

Updated Fics:

Ee4ee's Latias fic Chapters 2 and 3. SFW
http://pastebin.com/A2g44T1A
http://pastebin.com/yx3kvwgs

Mimiga's Marriage of Mew chapter 3.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oJ7JCGvkRAiGw9ALI7U6sYJdgcwIBDFOeSAOnq7wTdI/edit?usp=sharing

traipsingexodus's Au coup par coop Chapter 2 (don't remember if SFW or not)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12009986/2/Au-Coup-Par-Coup
>>
>ToTT
You can train as hard as you like, physiology is still going to play a major role in what a pokemon can do against what. The mightiest rat on the hill still hasn't got shit against the lowliest lion, but that doesn't mean that rat can't at least gnaw the shit out of that lion. Dragon types simply have a more battle-oriented physique and seek out scare territories to control whereas other types are more oriented to existing more efficiently in their environments.
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>>28164129
There was some good talk about the TotT at the end of the thread though
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Recommend me some human on Pokemon romance stories with relationship development, something where they work up to fucking
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Are there any good OC stories where they travel trough a region without bullshit (aura powers, changing into pokemon etc.)?
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>>28166146
You mean an average story about traveling region, getting badges, stopping teams, and becoming champs? That's roughly an average fanfiction.net story, but the gimmicks are always added to try and make them 'unique.'

This was the last one of that kind to be written here I think. Redemption Frontier
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-FbrB36tsyzLRnRzKkzizieXZKVOOIVdubRMwSyZLmM/edit?usp=sharing
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>>28164129
ToTT: Given that each species has a sort of "limit" (a softcap I suppose?), experience is handled as it would be for actual fighting: you get better as you train. There's no real "level ups" or "experience" to be earned, just a steady curve of progression as the pokemon in question improves. Highly trained pokemon will be able to overcome type disadvantages with combat knowledge and clever tactics, for instance, but they will not be able to overcome biology. So a legendary would crush a fair number of regular pokemon - it would take an excellent trainer and an already strong species to give a legendary a run for its money, on top of the pokemon specifically being a cut above the rest of its species. Plus, with how I'm thinking of treating legendary 'mon, it would be only just barely a run.
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>>28167049
>Average
Seems more in the minority.
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>>28167049
>That's roughly an average fanfiction.net story
It's impossible to find anything in there. People favorite and review nearly anything so there'll be diamonds in the rough completely unseen but some shitty ass story with 4k reviews.
>>
>>28164129

My response in the last thread:


The difference between a lv 1 and a lv 100 Pokemon is like the difference between a 5 year old and Floyd Mayweather. Just because in the games you don't get to see the physical improvement in muscle/reaction time/energy control doesn't mean its not there... except it's probably even more disjointed because pokemon can evolve and seem to have some genetic capacity for improving their potential well beyond what humans are capable of. I imagine pokemon training allowing them to improve themselves in ways humans simply aren't capable of- toughening skin/scales to the point it can shrug off cutting attacks for instance, or developing a stronger sense of eyesight. Evolution helps, but can't replace intense long term training and proper technique. It isn't unreasonable that a significantly trained Dragonite or Charizard might be borderline bulletproof.

It's easy to underestimate the effect of training since it's generally pretty damn easy to cap out levels on Pokemon in the games. EXP manipulating items such as the Lucky Egg and EXP Share are nonsense in my opinion and I spare no grief to any story that decides to do away with them. I also do not believe it is possible to get a Pokemon that strong after a weekend of battling the Elite Four over and over again even though this is perfectly possible in the games themselves. Also, since the regional champions tend to have Pokemon that cap out around lv 60-70, I imagine that this is around the region where Pokemon tend to be considered the "apex" of their species. Any Pokemon with measurable strength beyond that (such as Red's Pikachu) would be considered supernaturally powerful by local Professors- for all intents and purposes a freak of nature- and would practically be considered legendary in their own right. These sorts of Pokemon could very well take on a true Legendary in a battle, since their power isn't comparable to what is normally considered "normal" for their species.
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>>28167049
I don't remember there being a chapter 8. When was this updated? Has the author completely abandoned it?
>>
also considering how Pokemon protagonists manage to take on legendaries in pretty much every single game often with nothing but their starter, I don't think it's unreasonable to view legendaries as beatable by mere "mortal" pokemon if they happen to train enough.
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>>28167835
Author went ghost mode most likely. Long fics always come at the cost of risk of abandonment
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>>28168281
rip

I really enjoyed it when they first posted it months ago.
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>>28166007
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8573462/
Technically pokémon on human. It's more "story with one sex scene" than "smut with justification," though the author's blurb makes it sound like the second.
>>
Here's Big Shoes to Fill Ch.4
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12125737/4/Big-Shoes-to-Fill
I wish I got it into the end of last thread, since it deals with the last thread's TotT; pokemon world technology.
This chapter brings several changes to the story based on feedback!
>Some confusion regarding Clayton's identity caused by the fact he had no name during the writing of Chapter 1 has been cleared up by editing it in
>Chapters 1-3 updated with the name of the island the story takes place on: Manisees Island, which until now had no name (OC location!)
>Story now moved to fanfiction.net; pastebin chapters will be deleted when the thread cycles again.
Please continue to leave me feedback so I can keep tuning this story, and know what parts of it you are enjoying so I can deliver more!

The request I promised tonight will come tomorrow, sorry! This chapter ended up being delivered a day late...
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>>28169837
So with a ffn now do you plan on filling it with stories you have written before?
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>>28167877
Pokemon x Monster hunter style boss fights when?
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>>28164129
>ToTT
My response in the last thread too:

You battle, you gain experience. Not a discrete or even measurable quantity, but rather a quality of being prepared for things plus a combination of improvements in certain physical and psychological thresholds.

Levels as a discrete statistic are but a videogame interface convenience and I don't really see a proper place for them in fanfic that portrays a "real world". Levels as a comparable and diferentiable concept however are of more interest: you can say that a level 80 Dunsparce is more "tuned" for combat than a level 70 Dunsparce, or than a level 50 Articuno.

The difference however is that the Articuno can take much more punishment and needs to exert much less effort to wreck a Pokémon of similar level or higher. Plus Legendaries in general have their own kinds of weird powers.

So if it was a standarised exercise or demonstration of power, like the Pokémon equivalent of weight lifting, then yeah, a "battle hardened" Dunsparce is likely going to do well against an Articuno at natural "wild" level. But in an actual battle? No way. If an Articuno saw a horribly overleveled Dunsparce heading its way, past the initial surprise, there would just be no reason why the Articuno can't just kick up a city-covering snowstorm or flat out initiate protocol Sheer Cold. "Levels" just don't help that way.

>>28167178
And how are you thinking of treating legendary mons? Would love to compare notes.

>>28167877
Yeah, I treat at least minor Legendaries as beatable by "mere" mortal Pokémon - if the Legendary feels like doing it for the art, that is. When every hit counts, there's a reason Legendaries got to be called that.

>>28172835
seconding this pls
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>>28168792
The author's blurb makes it sound like transformation fetish trash
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Are there any frillish-centric stories out there?
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>>28171873
One-shots will remain in my pastebin, and I was thinking the eeveelutions could just be pokesmut anyway eventually so that wouldn't be allowed, guess that means BStF is the only thing I'm putting up there lol
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>>28173456
I was thinking of legendary mons as something akin to named mobs in Pathfinder. While some of them are lower CRs, generally, named enemies are incredibly high CR creatures or humanoids with their own special weapons or abilities, or both, in addition to the flavor that surrounds them. A lot of them are demons and angels and shit like that.

Legendary Pokemon would work the same way; as you mentioned, they'd have their own weird powers and would generally be difficult to properly face as a Trainer or class as a researcher (other than, you know, legendary.) So fighting these mons would be an undertaking in and of itself, and you'd be a fool to face one with only a single pokemon, much less one at a time a la the games. Like I said in the previous post, you can give a legendary a run for its money with a very strong, absurdly trained pokemon with a higher "softcap" than other species, but it isn't likely you'll win that encounter. You'd need several, working in unison to being down a legendary. And woe betide you if you wanna capture it.
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>>28175068
>that means BStF is the only thing I'm putting up there
For the time being. I thought C/E would be my only Pokémon venture. How wrong I was.
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>>28175448
I mean if I make more long-form ones then yeah definitely. I just don't have anything that fits the bill at the moment.
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>>28175474
Bump for a near-shameless request for feedback
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>>28176341
How desperate are you? I'm not gentle.
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>>28176698
I can't get better if it never gets the treatment it deserves. If it's gotta be savaged, savage it.
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>>28174715
It's cge, so it's anything but.
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>>28169837
>mfw I remember that I forgot to remember to check up on /vpwt/ for the last few days
>and I come back here to see the Latias thing updated thrice while I was gone

Well, this won't do. I'll give some feedback on the last three parts I missed; hope it helps.

First, the pros...

To begin, I like how the characters' emotions are given a lot of attention. Considering how Latias can sense emotions, it's fitting that the story describe that kind of thing, letting the reader get a sort of glimpse of what she can sense.

I also think the whole "Latias is a ghost" theory Michael started running with in ch3 is interesting, and I feel like it kind of adds a bit of worldbuilding and lore to the story too, showing that this story takes place in a world where people do believe in spirits and ghosts. And speaking of worldbuilding, I also like the inclusion of backstory for the island and the lighthouse as well.

And I like how the info about Clayton is sort of trickling out slowly, with each part adding a bit more about him. It leaves a little bit of mystery, which is good.

Finally, I think the little twist/reveal at the end of ch4 was handled well. In particular, I think the implementation of the scanning machine thing was a pretty interesting and unique way to handle such a reveal.
>>
>>28169837
>>28176976
And as for cons...

First off, it might just be me, but I felt like Latias' plan in ch2 seemed a little odd, like it wasn't well planned out. Couldn't she have just written down everything she had to say instead of writing part of it and then trying to draw the rest in the air? It might have ended better if she got all the info out immediately in writing. It's not really a serious gripe, but just something I found a bit odd.

I’ve also got a small nitpick for ch2: personally, I feel like the phrase "an old flame that never panned out into something more" might sound better if it said something like "never grew into something more". Doing so would tie in with the use of the word "flame", since flames grow, but they don't "pan". At least, not where I'm from.

And in ch3: the first paragraph is missing a period at the end, and so is the paragraph ending “I have a couple questions about the place”.

In ch4, there are a few typos: "she bright her wings" should say "brought", and "to make as narrow a profile as she maneuvered" should either say "to make as narrow a profile as possible" or simply "to make a narrow profile". Finally, "On the trip back to the dock they had tied up their inflatable" should say "where they had tied up their inflatable".

But other than these cons, I feel like this story’s actually quite good. It seems to be going places, and there aren't any glaring flaws with it, in my opinion. That said, considering this is the first story I've tried to review, maybe I'm just bad at reviewing and I'm missing something. But if you ask me, I think the story's pretty good overall.
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>>28176976
>showing that this story takes place in a world where people do believe in spirits and ghosts
That's a relief; I was honestly kinda worried about how that would be received, since a lot of times the supernatural elements of Pokemon see to be swept under the rug.

> I think the implementation of the scanning machine thing was a pretty interesting and unique way to handle such a reveal.
I was originally planning to hold it off for another chapter or two, but I couldn't think of anything I actually needed the "lol Latias a ghost" quirk for narratively and as I was planning the chapter out I found a way to toss it in at the end here. So the one-chapter turnaround for that particular detail (the equipment described in Ch.3) was originally going to wait a little longer. If it didn't come across as a rushed development, I'm happy.

> Latias' plan in ch2
Ch.2 is definitely the weakest link in this story so far, and probably the biggest victim of my lack of planning. I'm not going to say much there is defensible, but Ch.3 I think turned out alright and closed a lot of the shit left over from Ch.2 so I'm not going to just completely scrap it.

> I feel like this story’s actually quite good. It seems to be going places, and there aren't any glaring flaws with it, in my opinion. That said, considering this is the first story I've tried to review, maybe I'm just bad at reviewing and I'm missing something. But if you ask me, I think the story's pretty good overall.
Thanks a lot! Any review helps, and I'll go make those editing revisions as soon as I'm hit by whatever bomb cge is about to drop on me.
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Revenge...
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>>28176741
Commentary only; Anonymous is covering the typos.
http://pastebin.com/VphZJ9wp
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>>28178824
Thanks so much, this is golden.

You left little comment on Ch.4, except that positive note, so I'm assuming you found everything ship-shape compared to the others and if I continued that quality I'd be good. I'll try to write up to that quality from here on in. I'm now planning to drop updates every other day instead of the every-day schedule that 1-3 went up on; the extra time to mull over the structure probably did Ch.4 a lot of good.

The marker cap (she didn't have problems with it at all; the marker's bulk that allowed her to hold it easily also allowed her to manipulate the cap without issue) and where the Ninetales disappeared to (the kitchen through a short back hallway on the first floor) were both originally included but I eliminated it because I thought it was unnecessary. I'll keep more of those back in there in the future!

Again, thanks a ton for taking the time to go this in-depth with it and hitting all the bases.
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>>28166007
They don't exist
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>>28180239
Why would one exist? After four hours of relationship development the fap fic reader has to see a doctor
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>>28179159
I usually read through this thread late at night on my 3DS, so I can't make posts. I just wanted to say that I've really enjoyed all your fics so far.
So, thanks.
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>>28182539
No, thank you!

And sorry you have to suffer reading on a 3DS. The browser is always buggy as fuck when I use it
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>>28181158
This leaves me to wonder how many people had become thoroughly restless during an old series I wrote. It wasn't even that long of a wait, maybe like 9 or 10 chapters that were 3k-ish words in length.
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>>28168281
I'm friends with him, he's been having issues with his internet and is busy with university. Don't mourn just yet, anons.
>>
OS requested by an anon in the previous thread
>starter pokemon get jealous of his trainers newest catch.
http://pastebin.com/MZ25741X
Hope it's to you're liking, OR anon.
Please leave feedback and all that fun stuff.
>>
>>28173456

Obviously you have forgotten the power of True Demigod Charmander and his ability to singlehandedly demolish the likes of Lugia and Groudon (http://lilarrin.deviantart.com/art/PMD-Groudon-385657103). Clearly you've failed to give mere "ordinary" mon enough credit.

More seriously though, the biggest fault of Legendary Pokemon is that for all their strength they tend to have awful battling technique. Blame their lack of interaction with trainers and general lack of incentive to experiment with different strategies and moves due to their inherent power. A Dragon Claw from something like Kyurem might tear the average Pokemon in half, but it won't matter if the move is blatantly telegraphed and easily dodged. A well trained Pokemon could take advantage of this to seriously threaten a specific Legendary if they were sufficiently prepared.
>>
A man can dream, right?
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Well im about half way done with chapter 4 of my gallade fic, Curiosity. Hardest part of writing is coming up with names

I forgot how fun this can actually get.
>>
So how long have you been writing Pokémon fanfiction? My first fic was in 1997, written on an old typewriter.
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>>28189914
Bout a year, unless you're counting ancient disgraces that happened across a giant gap of time.
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>>28189914
Two threads ago
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>>28189914
About two years now I think, on and off, like much of writing for various IPs has been.
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>>28189062
http://pastebin.com/cLXZMQgz

Indeed, a man can dream. After all, some guy once said "A dream is a wish your heart makes."

blah blah blah insert "life had me by the balls" line you probably think is a shitty excuse
blah blah blah insert you calling me a dickweed/what have you


I'm most likely going to lie dormant for a while, if not permanently. I genuinely enjoy writing requests but now that I'm in college again I can't be super productive. It seems I already have a successor in Ee4ee anyway to take requests.

Also, I don't know who here uploaded my Skyla fic to the VIP fic list, but I have one question for you: WHY?
It's the worst fic I've written here.
Also it would've been nice for you to ask permission instead of trying to make a decision for me. Next time, please just ask if you want me to upload my works to the VIP fic list.
>>
>>28190713
>It seems I already have a successor in Ee4ee anyway to take requests.
o-oh
I don't think I'm good enough to be anyone's successor in anything but I'll try I guess
Have fun wherever you end up
>>
>>28164129
>used to have a lot of motivation for Pokemon writing and writing in general
>now just end up making shitty smut a quarter way and then stop
why do I continue to live
>>
>>28187404
OR here.
Thanks i enjoyed it. It was pretty much what i had in mind.
>>
>SoFurry down for a whole week
>Can't read Celebi's Rapeforest anymore

Don't make me do it

Don't make me save every fucking thing I ever read in the fear that it'll all be gone one day without warning
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>>28194184
Anon, you should have been doing that for every fic you like in the first place. There's no telling when some bullshit will happen that will end up having the story be removed permanently, whether by a mod on the host site removing it, author being a bitch during drama and deleting everything, or a technical glitch removing everything in it's path.

tl;dr Back up the shit you make and like. There's no telling when they will disappear just like that.

Just like that guy who made some Medicham story here a while back
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>>28194337
I easily have over 1000 stories bookmarked. Some of them on writing.com which is just a massive pain in the ass to save, though I've seen many of them go.
>>
>>28187404
Not OR but I loved it! You should stick it up on fanfiction or AO3
>>
>>28189914
I've had silly fan ideas since second grade, which I always drew pictures of. I only started writing in maybe 5th grade. Things got "serious" in high school, when I started posting my drivel online. And now I'm here, planning to make an entirely new account before I upload anything to fanfiction again.
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>>28196409
Shamed by your early work?
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>>28197300
Of course, but I'd rather keep it up for the sake or archival.
>>
>>28189914
Pokémon specifically? Since 2009 more or less, but very very sporadically up until now.

>>28189933
>ancient disgraces
The best kind of disgraces!

Come on, chin up. Can't be Twilight level of bad, right? And if it is, some people do are into the kind of bile fascination...


>>28194184
>2006+10
>Believing in the freedom of the intertubes.
>Not creating your own internet of fics, videos and memes you like.

>>28188851
>dat kek

But of course. Considering we already have specific trainers in canon who are dedicated to following specific Legendaries (coughEusinecough), as well as Legendaries that are pretty close to humans (for Legendary standards) and learn things (Muskedeers and swordplay). Legendaries who haev to stay on their toes very likely have developed strategies specifically to deal with trainer-related stuff over time, which would be why eg.: the Gerbils pack Roar.

Can a well-trained Pokémon take advantage of that to threaten a Legendary? Sure, it can. I'd venture some Legendaries like Ho-Oh and Lugia even look forward to it, considering they do the whole ceremonial thing when meeting a Trainer seeking fight, even if it is under certain conditions. Like, you've proven to be decent enough at taking crippling amounts of harm that youve earned the right to face "Normal mode" Ho-Oh/Lugia.
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>>28197663
>or
of, darn it
>>
booping
>>
So yungoose's attempt at making aloha free of rattata only made them nocturnal. Nights rats taking back the city story when?
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>>28199963
When you least expect it.
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>>28197678
>legendaries are dungeon/raid bosses

That's pretty fitting actually. wonder what the hard modes are like.
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>>28190770
Well not with that attitude you won't.
Believe in yourself Ee4ee, I've read your works. Sure, they could use a little improvement, but no one's amazing at writing when they start off. I mean unless you're like a genius or something, in which case, teach me your ways master.

I know one day you'll be a great author.

Anyway, I'll still lurk here to read my idol's fics as soon as they post them, so I won't truly leave, in a sense. I mean not that anyone cares lol.
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>>28189914
I've been writing for a just month, approximately. That said, I still haven't posted anything online, but I'm planning to change that within the next few days.

But first, I have to learn how to use pastebin, and come up with a name for myself, and get over my crippling anxiety about people seeing my writing.
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>>28201675
Make an account, create new paste, copy it in, name the work, set permissions to view to public, paste it.

Next, name yourself Abundant Anxiety, then erase it, rename yourself FUCK IT, and post your work.

I believe in you man.
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>>28201473
>I'll still lurk here to read my sempai's fics as soon as they post them, so I won't truly leave, in a sense. I mean not that anyone cares, baka.
ftfy

>>28201675
>come up with a name for myself
The challenge is making a name for yourself.
>my crippling anxiety about people seeing my writing
Because you're afraid of disappointing people or of being judged by people?
>>
I made a 1 A.M. thing again
http://pastebin.com/5RSgcRXy

>>28197678
I actually read the entire Twilight series out of curiosity when I was a wee-er lad. It basically just devolves into autistic X-men
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>>28202563
>autistic X-men
There's an X-men that isn't?
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>>28202657
Well I mean, they all got the mutant shit going on. Otherwise they wouldn't have any powers.
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>>28201803
Thanks for the explanation, and especially for the encouragement. But as for the name suggestion, I'll have to decline. It was tempting, but I already thought of something.

I've got one question, though, if you don't mind my asking: is it actually best to make my stuff public like you say, or keep it unlisted? I was thinking keeping it more private would be best, but if it's considered better to let it be public, then I'll do that.

>>28202359
>Because you're afraid of disappointing people or of being judged by people?
A bit of both, I guess. Even though I don't expect to please everyone, and I know being judged is required to get better, I just can't stop myself from getting nervous about other people seeing my work.

Still, I'll get over it. I just tend to fret about stuff like this a lot. I'll probably be able to get something posted relatively soon, after I finish proofreading and stuff.
>>
>>28203197
Why go public pastebin when you can go public FFN and get tons of reviews
>>
>>28203197
Anyone in the write thread has seen things worse than you could ever hope to write, don't worry about it. Pastebin whatever you come up with, try to get some feedback from the writethread (it can be fickle), edit it based on feedback, then post the final version on FFN/AO3.
>>
>>28203197
Yeah just make it public. Otherwise people have to save the links and they can get misplaced or deleted if something happens to the catalogue.

And as >>28203246 said, it isn't a bad idea to just open an FFN. Genuinely good critique will be infrequent, but it's nice to have it when it comes along.
>>
>>28203401
>AO3
>The queue for registration wraps around the internet.
That's a lot of time for finalizing.
>>
>>28203508
Registration queue? Like to even sign up for the website or to post something?

Why on earth would they make you wait for something like that. 12h to post to ffn was bad enough
>>
>>28203508
The queue for invitation took like four days for me I think. And this was only a few months ago. I think. Time flies.

Is it really that long? Did I get lucky?

>>28203591
Yeah, you have to request invitation. The site is very nice but has its own host of problems different from FFNs.
>>
>>28203508
I signed up a couple weeks ago and it only took 3 days to get an invite.
>>
>>28203591
They decided their policy would be not to take on more users than they could serve, so they take reservations and admit new users gradually.

I signed up, forgot, got added at some point (I never check my email), peeked around, and didn't get my next story off for a year after that anyway, so I can't share the AO3 waitin' in line for too damn long blues.

>>28203783
>but has its own host of problems different from FFNs
It gets Unicode right. Win by default.
>>
>>28203863
>>28203783
I was wondering if I should host on both just for exposure but sounds like I might just never get in at this rate.
>>
>>28203892
Host on both because AO3 needs good fics.
FFN broke my account such that the new story thingie doesn't go, so I'm sorta committed to AO3. If only it had private messaging so I could reply to fan mail…
>>
>>28203863
I really like their design for displaying text, from titles to breaks. God damn, it's so damn pleasant to look at. Though some features (like series) was a bit unintuitive, or I'm just retarded and blind. Could be both.

>>28203892
Worth hosting on both, but AO3s audience is smaller. That ends up being a positive as much as a negative though. At least I like to think of it that way.
>>
>>28203457
Alright, I'll make 'em public, then, and I'll go get set up on FFN too. Hopefully I'll get some of my stuff posted up soon. Thanks for the help.
>>
>>28204018
>>28204090
"You've been added to our queue! Yay! We estimate that you'll receive an invitation around 2016-09-03"

Is this estimate bullshit or not
>>
>>28204090
It's unintuitive because it shotguns options all over the screen, and because it's so organized with account/names/series/stories/chapters that it takes you by surprise since we're used to file dumps. You must read all the little info boxes to know what's up. An easy/advanced toggle might've been nice when all you want to do is get chapters lined up.
>>
>>28204187
You'll tell us within two days.
>>
>>28204187
Mine said 3 days and it took 3 days.
>>
>>28189914
My first fic was back in kindergarten or 1st grade before I knew anything about fanfiction or writing because I was like 5 or whatever at the time. My first real fic was started at the end December 2011 a week or two after discovering fanfiction.
>>
>>28203508
>>28203783
>>28203863

>2014+2.5
>mfw I am still waiting for that AO3 registration from back then to work out

At this point I think I'll just ditch the idea of AO3 altogether. I prefer to just x-post to some of the three big boys across the board (Serebii, BMGF, Pokécommunity). The marginal cost to x-post is nearly minimal thanks to BBCode, unless you use their advanced features.

Or I could just do PC alone, since it has Unicode, a nascent but promising promotion program *and* awesome CSS.

>>28204187
It's a "Windows progress bar" kind of estimate.

>>28201401
Depends on the Legendary/es. I guess Hard Mode-ing the high and god tiers of them would be much unfeasible unless one undertakes very specific preparation, given the fact such fights might as well take place in their turf and on their own terms. Hard Mode-ing Kyogre would likely involve a potentially long underwater fight at depths below 600 m; I can't even begin to think what tieing or winning against a Hard-Mode Creation Trio member would require if one doesn't already have readily available reality warping powers at their disposal, as presumably as soon as one of them gets fed off with you they can just Teleport / Timeport you to the Mercury orbit three minutes before the Sun goes supernova.

On the other side of the coin, Hard Mode-ing some of the well known "for the art" Legendaries like the Muskedeers or the Gerbils would be glorious, the kind of battle all men strive for. Come on, even if you lose, any witnesses would tell your tale for the ages. Maybe the Legendary in question asks to join your team, even.


>CAPTCHA
>BIRCH OLYMPIA
>mfw ain't even kidding
>>
>>28206111
>hard modeing creation trio
Holy fuck. This would be a whole new level of overwhelming defeat, coupled with similarly disastrous consequences for fucking up and getting a one way ticket into the space between time.

The latter idea sounds wonderful though. Who wouldn't want a bardic masterpiece written about them?
>>
>>28206111
> Maybe the Legendary in question asks to join your team, even.
>seek them out
>hunt them down
>beat their asses
>Nurse them back to health and say you want to join them
>>
Damn, I really need to get around to writing that Zinnia and Steven Travel the world fanfic so I couldpost it here.

Or that Pokemon Super Hero fanfic.

Or that Sonichu if it was good fanfic.

Or just straight up finish the fanfics I've already started.
>>
Taking requests to be hopefully completed tomorrow
>>
>>28207680
Write a one on one piece featuring awkward sexual tension, one shy personality, and at least one completely nonverbal character. Who or what it and the apple of its eye are is your decision, as is the resolution of this tension and conflict of communication and personality.
>>
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>>28207680
How about a female combee being caught and then treated nice, being pampered ect. And her feeling confuse since she's not a queen and this attention given to a lower class worker bee, is not something she's uses to. It could end with her evolving and having feeling for her trainer and needing him to "mate" so she can start a hive.
>>
>>28207680
A Misdreavus or Mismagius trying to have her trainer join her tea party. Something cute/funny.
>>
Can I ask here for recommendations on what to read next?
I've just given up on finishing reading Minor Miscalculations, because it gets really fucky around the end. Haven't touched it in weeks.
I want a new fanfiction to read. Something wherein the mc is a pokemon. Bonus points for transformation.
The last fic I read that I truly liked was Land & Skye: Living a Legend. I would like something like that: I really digged the whole exploration aspect, especially self-exploration. I'm kind of scared of digging through the author's other fics, though, aa I still have to play through the Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Sky post-game and don't want to spoil it.
I don't mind psychological fics, as I actually quite like them. I can't stand romance, however, for some reason, unless it's tame enough and doesn't interfere with the plot.

Does anybody have any recommendations? Thanks in advance.
>>
>>28202359
>senpai
>baka
Well when you put it like that, I sound like some kind of tsundere with a huge obsession over them. Pretty rood tee bee h.
I just really enjoy their writing and maybe kinda jealous that they can come up with such great ideas to write about on their own while I have to take a request before I can form a story
More than anything though, I see them as an idol because one day I want to write as well as they do.
>>
>>28207680

Requesting a trainer giving his Braixen a thigh massage.

with the lewdness escalating until he just fucking destroys her
>>
>>28207680
Did you end up choosing something?
>>
>>28167835
>>28168281
>>28168374

NOT A GHOST.

Just busy. I started the fic when I wasn't in Uni and my work's been taking up more time than I'd like to admit. But I do intend to continue.

Actually, I do have some time today.
>>
>>28210832
Good you choose to waste it here.

>>28206475
And now I'm somehow thinking The Ballad of Edgardo, but with Pokémon. Thanks!
>>
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>>28210262
Gonna let more requests filter through and pick something tomorrow (though I'm currently biased towards two I can see working together as the same story). I'm planning on giving a 24h lead whenever I make the call from now on.

I'm currently working on pic related. I hope to be able to alternate nights between this and requests from here on in.
>>
Does anyone have good lewd fics, straight or gay, where Gallade is a cute bottom bitch?
>>
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>>28208364

Land and Skye is a great story. If you are looking for more non-PMD related human-turned-Pokemon fics I would suggest "Just your average Pika (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2619271/1/Just-your-average-Pika), the basic plot setup is pretty much what you expect but is unusual in that the protagonist's family finds about about said transformation almost immediately and he spends much of his time trying to build some semblance of a normal functioning life. There is a small romance going on here but it is very low key and does not interfere with the primary plot.

I would also suggest going off the beaten path when checking out PMD fics, there is some great lesser known stories out there that use original worlds instead of rehashes of the games. One of my favorites is Aquifer (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8988873/1/Aquifer-A-Prophet-s-Guide-to-Dungeoneering), it unfortunately does not look like it will ever finish but takes a much darker/psychological approach to transformation stories than most other PMD fics I have seen.
>>
>>28212000
Well you could always work on the one you bias towards and look at the few other request for future ideas.
>>
>>28212407
I've been waiting on Aquifer for what feels like forever, but there's hope! The author posted a map of the square along with some fairly extensive notes about the world near the end of April: http://quinkylar.deviantart.com/art/The-Commoner-s-Square-v1-0-585518779
>>
>>28208744
If you write a statement two word substitutions from sounding like a meme/cliché and didn't notice that fact, I'm happy to help you see from the perspective of your audience. :D I also suggest being mindful about idea sources. As often as not my stories are inspired by coincidence or chance than by my sitting down and making a funny face from thinking really hard about making up a story idea. Consider not how you perceive others finding their inspiration, but how you can help yourself recognize and seize the inspiration that's already around you. My Eternally Vernal came from /vpwt/ when somebody wrote a meme typo; once you learn how to open yourself to suggestion, you'll rarely want for ideas.

You just did yourself: "Pretty Rood"? How about a comedy piece wherein Rood shaves his beard and cross dresses to enter a retirement community beauty contest hoping to evade pursuit and capture by Looker, and it goes too well when it turns out that Looker planned much the same, having deduced that Rood would try to blend in among the old guys.

This idea is probably stupid and as 1:30 AM as I expect it does, but what matters is that two words can become a prompt and a prompt can become a story in a matter of seconds if you allow them to.
>>
>>28212855
>http://quinkylar.deviantart.com/art/The-Commoner-s-Square-v1-0-585518779

that is some bizarre backstory and I'm not sure how I feel about miasma pokemon and actual weapon use in a PMD world but I like the details about the town and whatnot

hopefully said author decides to start writing again someday
>>
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>>28207680
A young floette gets a childish crush for her trainer and tries to get his attention. He just thinks she's being cute/playful ect. When she get tired of him ignoring her advances she just strait up kisses him on the check stuff appends afterwards ect.
>>
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>>28214192
And then she evolves and with her new ASSets she wins him over and they end up having hot passionate sex.
>>
It seems like there's a weirdly intense interest for flower themed pokemon.
>>
>>28214303
What makes you say that?
>>
>>28214303
They are the prettiest.
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>>28214316
Not him but it seems the love for flower themed Pokemon is in full bloom, so writers are putting the petal to the metal in order to plant the seeds for future flower fics. You might think I'm pollen your leg but there's no doubt the abundance of these fics has rose.
hehe flower puns :3c
>>
Despite cursing the lateness of the hour, I did actually manage to finish Big Shoes to Fill; Chapter 5 tonight before I passed out.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12125737/5/Big-Shoes-to-Fill
Feedback, comments, any sort of response greatly appreciated!
>>
>>28212407
Woah, I didn't expect such a detailed recommendation. Thanks, anon, will check them out. The first fic sounds really interesting.
>>
morning bump
>>
>>28215269
God damn it I hate/love you
>>
>>28215460
I updated your review article.
http://pastebin.com/VphZJ9wp
>>
>>28219602
Thank you again for going through the effort to do this.

One thing I wanted to clarify, though it seems I'll need to in-text as well; the speak aloud/hear him anywhere thing looks like two different points are being conflated here:
>He must speak aloud for her to hear him mentally
>She can hear him from anywhere
These are supposed to be portrayed as two separate things. She can hear him from anywhere as long as he talks out loud, and even if they're face to face if he doesn't actually speak she won't hear anything (for now).
You marked off as [technobabble] my attempt to clarify that dynamic so obviously that section isn't doing it's job. I'll look into fixing that up.
>>
>>28218764
I hate/love you too anon. c:
How about we let our tulips touch together and go from there~?
>>
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>>28220403
By the way since I'm posting this could I request a story base on this pic?
>>
>>28219841
Like with the passive telling in the crumpled letter scene, the technobabble is best removed, cut into details, and worked into the action.

I have one reader who always asks me for the gritty details (which fortunately for both of us, I most often have) but in nearly all cases, you don't want to lecture your reader about your world. Portray the plot mechanics, get the reader interested, and then explain things. That's why I called it Technobabble, a la Star Trek, where the format is too short and the ideas too complicated to communicate them in a smoother way. We forgive it because the show is fine overall, but it's still a trope and a tax on suspension of disbelief.

My concern wasn't for the mechanical details, but the pacing.
>>
>>28220625
You want me to do a storyboard for ya?
I'm not too good at those, but if it was me, I would write a request that goes along the lines of "Requesting a fic where a femme fatale Roselia charms her trainer to give her more than just Pokepuffs if you know what I mean :^)"

Haha but really, drawing off of its Dex entries, I'd imagine a fic where Roselia was the first Pokemon a trainer was ever given, and has secretly been growing more and more attracted to him over time. One day while he is feeding her Pokepuffs, she gropes her owner's crotch with one of her flowers out of lust. As he gets nervous, she releases the aroma from her flowers to relax his tense body, before blushing and staring into his eyes, waiting to see how he'll react to her confession of love.

(Btw these genders are completely up to you. You could do FxF, Male Roselia x Female Trainer, or my favorite, MxM :^) )
>>
>>28220649
>the technobabble is best removed, cut into details, and worked into the action.
Or worked into the dialogue? I found I could remove that paragraph and the paragraph detailing how her emotion-sense is different that what she needs the link for, and each only needed two lines of dialogue to get across the message more clearly (IMO). The lines in question are now just after they established the channel for the speaking aloud detail, and as she's returning to the cave for the emotion-sense detail.

I also rewrote/expanded the end similarly but not identically to what you suggested, figuring it was a good way to slip in how he's much better at visualizing things because of his engineer days.
>>
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>>28221696
Don't worry I was not asking for you to make it I was just throwing the request out there if anyone was interested.
>>
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Alright, /vpwt/, I've finally created a name to call myself and a story to call my own, and I'm ready to subject that story to your most perusing of eyeballs and critical of minds. That is, as long as you're okay with that.

The story's called "The Forest Temple". Here's the first part: http://pastebin.com/Ffki7bv0.

There are a few things I'd like to point out beforehand for anyone who wants to read it: first, it's based off Mystery Dungeon. Second, it's around 16800 words total, so you've been warned, but I split it up into parts to make it more readable. Third, it's not a completely independent story, and by that I mean it's one of several stories I've been writing that all take place in a shared universe. That means certain characters, concepts, locations, etc. reappear in multiple stories, and each story focuses on and explains certain topics more than others.


Now, since this is the first fanfic I've ever posted online, any kind of feedback would be immensely appreciated; however, there are a few things in particular I'd really like getting some feedback on.

First, regarding the whole shared-universe thing: there may be some things in this story that aren't fully explained or aren't given very much detail, as they are focused on more in other stories, but I still want this story to stand by itself. I want to make it so each of the stories in this shared universe will stand by themselves, but together, they form a much more complex and interesting whole. So my question is: does this story leave too much unexplained or not?

And also: at the end of chapter 4, something kind of dark happens. You'll know it when you see it. I put it in to add drama and emphasize the threat of what the characters are facing, but I'm not sure if it's too edgy and doesn't fit with the rest of the story, or if it's okay as is. I'd love to hear some opinions on it.

And, of course, any generalized feedback and critiques are more than welcome. Thanks in advance!
>>
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>>28221696
Nice request idea by the way.
A femme fatal roselia would be an interesting read.
>>
>>28221814
"A little more detail" is provided by FFN PM.

The revision to Chapter Five's conclusion feels more like your style than did the draft text, and especially aids Michael's portrayal.
>>
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>>28223143
>http://pastebin.com/Ffki7bv0
>mfw I read two sentences and notice pic related.
"The" is a definite article. We the audience must know which of something (or that there is contextual uniqueness) is being indicated.

"A(n)" is an indefinite article. It introduces something new so the reader may identify it, or indicates that which one isn't important.

Consider:
>A trio of pokemon regarded each other with surprise as silence fell upon the clearing before them. The air had been filled with forest sounds—rustling branches, flowing waters, and avian pokemon calling to each other. Unsettled by this ominous calm, the three pressed on nervously.

In essence, you are using one sentence structure with different words between the Thees. Good writing shows as much as it can and tells as little. Favor verbs, minimize articles, and avoid repetitive structures lest it feel like See Spot Run.



I've written a few hundred thousand words to one continuity, and a few people seem not to mind, so if you have specific questions about balancing standaloneness and interwovenness, I'll hear them.
>>
>>28224309
Huh. Now that you highlight it... Yeah, that doesn't look very good.

But to be honest,I actually never knew about that distinction between "the" and "a" as articles.So "a" should introduce things while "the" refers to things already introduced, then? I'll try to keep that in mind from now on, now that I know.
>>
>>28224744
As I stated, "the" requires either that a specific thing has been introduced previously or that in the context only one can or does exist. "A" selects a nonspecific item, but in doing so, the one that happens to be selected becomes itself specific. Consider:
>There is a cup of pencils on my table. Take a pencil if you need one. Since I have plenty, you may keep the one you take.
Contrast the reverse:
>There is the cup of pencils on my table. Take the pencil if you need one. Since I have plenty, you may keep a one you take.

Also note that the phrase "There is the cup of pencils on my table" is fine if I were standing beside you and pointing at it, because by indicating both the cup and the cup's location, the cup of pencils became definite.
>>
>>28225065
>the one that happens to be selected becomes itself specific
Also, in this special case, "the" is appropriate when a specifying phrase accompanies it. Here, "the one" is followed by "that happens to be selected". Rephrased as a generality, "a(n)" is used:
>"A" selects a nonspecific item; an item selected in this way becomes itself specific.
>>
>>28207680
Did you end up writing something?
>>
>>28225490
I still have ten hours left in my day, Anon. I'll b starting soon.
>>
>>28225517
Oh I don't want to rush you I was just curious if you finally choses something yesterday and wrote it this morning.
>>
>>28225665
I tend to write at night. Allows for maximum self-loathing when I run overtime and cut into my sleep.
>>
>>28225688
Interesting and this works well for you?
>>
>>28225740
Well I went to bed a 5:30AM last night and when I woke up I played vidya instead of drinking bleach, so I guess so far so good.
>>
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>Write about characters who are all getting dunked under the weather
>Get sick just in time for the final draft

Advanced writing techniques
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>>28220649
cge, do you read fics for any other fandom?
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New chapter is up for the Protector series:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10121590/13/Gift-of-the-Protector-Radiant-Heart

Sfw.
>>
>>28226890
Not presently. I scarcely read fiction for amusement.
>>
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>>28223143
I couldn't help but feel I was reading text for the tutorial of an actual game. Was that the effect you were going for, given the source material? If it was, it's certainly interesting, but I'm not too sure if that was the right call. I didn't really pick up on any kind of suspense or mystery to the revelation at the end, and that had the effect of not really making me feel compelled or interested in what happens next, rather I felt that I'd successfully completed an introductory explanation for a game. Then again, that might just be taste related.

Speaking of, as far as my tastes are concerned: you're using ellipses too frequently. I understand it's to indicate a pause, or a halting sort of tempo to the speech, but it disrupts the text.

For instance:
>" so let’s get on… our… way…?”
Your meaning is understood here, but it looks messy.
Maybe:
>" so let's get on our way?" The last few words trickled out, slow and wholly uncertain.

If you need to indicate pause, you can use speech tags (he paused, said slowly, etc.), break dialogue in the middle of sentences, and make use of the almighty comma and period for one word pauses, such as here:

Instead of:
>“Wait… these stairs weren’t here before,"
What if you said:
>“Wait," the pink pokemon said in alarm, "These stairs weren’t here before,"

But that's just my take on it. I blame the copy I had to edit at work that was overflowing with ellipses.
>>
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Tonight
>>
>>28212407
Just your average Pika was a tough read for me. The characters almost all react unreasonably to the main character's transformation, which says a lot given that there are countless reasonable reactions for such an extreme situation. Here are some paraphrased weird responses just from the first few chapters:
>Why are you talking like that?
Duh?
>You have keep your mind human and not let instincts control you.
Do they actually understand his internal struggle with maintaining human thoughts at this point? There's no way they could, yet they act as if they know for sure his mind is slipping from the very start. This wouldn't be so bad if this very topic wasn't the crux of the story that almost every character brings up constantly from this point on.
>Oh, you want people food? "Maybe this once."
There's no awkward pause, moment of forethought, or discussion at all in deciding that they should feed their family member - their son - pokemon kibble? Right...
>Stealing food from [roommate/cousin] would be wrong.
I thought they lived together and shared expenses? Even if they didn't, it's a bag of pokemon food and they're the only pokemon in the house, so what's objectionable about them eating it? It was bought for the sole purpose of feeding the new pikachu anyways.
>Boss: You're not properly dressed.
Are you serious?
>Boss: Can he telecommute?
He can't even speak, let alone answer phone calls to keep his IT job. This guy literally just finished playing 20 questions to convince himself the pikachu was actually his employee.

So much of the text feels repetitious that a lot of it loses meaning. Specifically, the constant focus how the MC needs to maintain/give up his humanity. I can accept that as the main premise of the story, but there are much better ways to present it than bringing it up every few paragraphs.

I'm convinced that there can be a really good transformation fic that isn't PMD based, but this one definitely isn't it for me.
>>
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>>28229542
That's every night for me
>>
>>28229658
l-lewd
>>
>>28230008
Well like, when you got the largest official special doggo plush on the market, there is no other choice besides tonight.
>>
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>>28230123
TONIGHT?
>>
>>28230123
Pics?
>>
>>28230123
>largest official special doggo plush
One, that must have been expensive; two, how big is that exactly?
>>
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>>28230241
>>28230249
I don't have a device which captures the pictures of things, and I also think phones are gay, so here's somebody else's doggo from the phox thread once that is the same is mine. It was like $50 or something.

It really helps me feel bad for making Panne suffer.
>>
>>28230290
where can I buy one of these
>>
>>28229092
Thanks for the advice. Looking back at the story, I agree that there are too many ellipses. I'll go back in and remove some of them.

I do have a question, though: when you say the story is like a tutorial, do you mean it gets bogged down with explaining how things in-universe work? Like, when the characters talk about what mystery dungeons are, how Petrify Orbs work, what Discharge does in Monster Houses, and stuff like that? I did that to try and make it so people who don't know about the mechanics of the Mystery Dungeon series can still understand the story, but I didn't want it to sound like a boring tutorial. If it does, then I'll try to figure out how to fix that.

And also, about the "revelation" lacking suspense and mystery: are you referring to the infodump at the end about the Heartstone and the Abyss? That was part of the whole "shared universe" thing I mentioned earlier--the Heartstone and the Abyss will get more attention in other stories I've been working on, but I included references to them in this story to keep it tied in with the others. If you're saying it feels too out of place and lacks impact, though, I'll try to rewrite it.
>>
>>28230584
Boku no google. It's official merchandise, the pokemon center site isn't too hard to find.
>>
>>28230290
Kyaaa, senpai's thing is huge! >///~///<
>>
>>28230706

;3

go be autistic somewhere else
>>
>>28230290
Jesus, it's huge.

>>28230614
Yeah, I picked up that you're trying to provide information for those not in the know like me, I haven't played PMD but it felt invasive, I think. On the one hand, working that in is great, you're covering your bases, on the other, dunno if you need to, given people that are reading it (that aren't me) are likely going to already know what's going on.

I'd go with broad strokes and offhand mentions. It leads those unfamiliar along just enough to form an idea, but doesn't raise questions in the heads of those who know what's going on.

Nah, I'm referencing how you ended chapter 1. I didn't notice the second link, I'll give the rest of the work a read in a bit. The whole "wait why are these stairs here" fell a bit flat for me, is what I mean. The chapter ends on these stairs but I didn't feel like I cared to find out why. Might have been a good idea to approach with a greater sense of innate wrongness, because as you have it written now it appears as more of a curiosity.

Good work though, didn't have space in the last post to mention that. If this is your first time producing work you've avoided a fair chunk of the usual pitfalls for new authors.
>>
>>28230800
Well duh, how else are you supposed to cherish your special doggo if it doesn't take up like a quarter of your bed?
>>
>>28230925
Is it bigger than the pokedex says it is
My tisms must know
>>
>>28229649

Your reaction is strange to me. Yes, the story is light/occasionally humorous, its SUPPOSED to be. I don't understand how the boss making goofy comments like "can he telecommute" could upset you when it fits in perfectly with the tone of the writing. What the author does well beyond simply humor is create a focused narrative with interesting, original lore and complex characters that doesn't fall into a bunch of bland, cliched tropes. Most importantly, it touches on the trauma/practical difficulties such a transformation would entail, something the vast majority of transformation fics completely overlook. Try reading something like Transformation: Project Legend, Curse of the Lucario or the dozens of other TF fics out there that turn the concept into a generic teenage power fantasy and then tell me that this story doesn't do a better job.

And "repetitious" text? I'm not trying to be overly hostile, but you're not the first person I've seen on here make a big deal about what I consider to be trivial style issues. If you're honestly unwilling or unable to overlook them then good luck getting anywhere in the world of fanfiction. If you want to read stories mostly written by bored 14-year-olds with no professional writing experience, you can't be too picky about this sort of shit. Its not that distracting if you keep an open mind and focus on what really matters- interesting stories, complex characters and clever interpretations of the canon/lore.

If you honestly can't find a TF story you like I would suggest doing the obvious and scanning through one of the big community made lists on the subject (https://www.fanfiction.net/community/Transformation-and-pokemorph-stories/8900/99/4/3/0/0/0/0/ is one I've used several times).
>>
Do you guys have a repository of all the fanfics you guys have written similar to how us horsefuckers have fimfiction? I want to be able to sort fics by keywords.

Alternatively Ill ask direcrly; I'm looking for Eevee x Trainer stuff romance and or smut
>>
>>28230800
>I'd go with broad strokes and offhand mentions
I guess that's the trick, then: finding that happy little medium to satisfy both those who are familiar and unfamiliar with the subject matter alike. Easier said than done, but I'll see what I can do.

>I didn't notice the second link
Oh... well, then ignore what I said about the Heartstone and the Abyss. Maybe I should have mentioned that I've already uploaded all the parts of the story instead of just linking to the first chapter and leaving it at that...
Anyway, as for the stairs, I'll think about how to give that part a bit more impact. I've got some ideas right now, actually, so I'll set off soon to take care of it.

>If this is your first time producing work you've avoided a fair chunk of the usual pitfalls for new authors
That's really nice to hear. This is indeed the first time I've done creative writing and been serious enough about it that I've shown it to others, online or in person, so I'm glad to hear I don't just automatically suck. It's clear I have room for improvement, though, so I'll head back into the story and try revamp it a bit based on what feedback I've gotten.
>>
>>28231057
It's more than twice as big as an actual fennec, so probably. Not that you can't have differing sizes of things in real life. What if you have an alpha doggo or something?
>>
>>28231321
It evolves into Charles Braixly, then further into Delphox Jordan
>>
>>28230741
W-Would you be autistic somewhere else with me senpai? >///w///<
>>
>>28231151
everything written by the folks on the thread is located in the catalog in the OP
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PtN4D_9CSw8JJ9uO6v0oQqdtKEkS8aFAvfxqI96XfSE/edit?usp=sharing
Of course it helps for the authors to submit their work inside
>>
>try to write 'shy'
>get 'flustered'
sometimes in media res is a bitch
at least it isn't 'oblivious' like all my other OS trainers
>>
>try to write 'fiction'
>get 'distracted'
It's been a busy week, but everybody else seems to be doing things. For once. But next week will be different! Yeah, that's the ticket.
>>
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>>28232390
>for once
I'm always writing things! They just haven't amounted to anything yet...
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>>28209028
Here's your l-lewd Braixen massage
http://pastebin.com/sCuW2qZV
Kinda short and not explicit but I hope you enjoy
>>
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What the actual fuck do I name "Kanto Ranger comes face to face with growing Sinnohian degeneracy: border control edition"

Here, At The Bastion ?
Tolerance And Other Naivetés ?
Only Viridian ?

I have summaries for all of those but I can't decide.
>>
>>28235257
Build That Wall; A Compelling Case
>>
Okay, AO3 got back to me two and a half hours into 9/3. Punctual!
All five currently completed chapters of BStF are hosted there now.
>>
>>28235390
Link?
>>
>>28231151
other than the catalog, everyone's work is pretty much scattered. You could try using FFN or Ao3 to find fics, bu good luck finding treasure in a sea of everything
>>
>>28236654
Probably,
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Ee4ee/
>>
bumo
>>
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>Mfw when i cant write a fanfiction because my grammar sucks.

I don't know how people with bad grammar some how post there story's on the internet. Every time i see my own writing i cringe and delete it, but then I'm back the next time with another idea that i try to write, but eventually delete it.
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>>28241437
Because the difference between you and autists is that autists aren't afraid of being judged. It's probably awful-sounding but why not be an autist and just post your work? If they aren't reserved of others seeing their fics why should you? No one here's going to bully you if you post a bad fic at least I don't think so but I guess you never know with these lurkers.

My two cents, but at the end of the day whether you post your writing or not is up to you. Good luck though.
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>>28241437
Your strategy is what's holding you back:
>write, read, cringe, delete
should be:
>write, read, cringe, edit, read, cringe, edit, post
>>
>>28241597
I usually have another cringe stage before post tee bee aych
>>
>>28241437
Why don't you identify what's wrong and fix it? Many times I've noticed something I didn't like about my writing style and created a means to test for and eliminate the bad habit.
>>
>>28241437
Whenever that happens you shouldn't delete it, but just edit it. Eventually you'll have honed what you've been writing into something that doesn't make you want to swallow a bullet.

>>28241555
The trips have spoken. In my time here, I haven't really seen much but constructive criticism for work that gets posted. Except that one time someone told me to kill myself, but hey, par for the course, right?
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>>28241555

>It's probably awful-sounding but why not be an autist and just post your work?

This might actually work.

>>28241597

I might try this strategy, also >>28241686 is right it need to have one more cringe before post.

>>28241825

I have no idea how i should go about doing that.
>>
Oh, is it alright if i post a part of a story that im writing now here?

It would be great to have a second opinion on it.
>>
>>28242134
Sure, just pastebin it and a couple people will probably critique it for you.
>>
>>28242134
yep, as long as it's linked offsite you're good to go
>>
Alright here goes...

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jYiQuXfXEJOA_meKU8C-TZ12kxXDVuIrd0NFWpYcry8/edit?usp=sharing
>>
>>28242028
Let's begin.

Goofus wrote:
>I don't know how people with bad grammar some how post there story's on the internet. Every time i see my own writing i cringe and delete it, but then I'm back the next time with another idea that i try to write, but eventually delete it.

Gallant writes:
>I don't know how people with bad grammar somehow post their stories on the internet. Every time I see my own writing, I cringe and delete it. But then I'm back the next time with another idea that I will handle likewise.

What we notice:
>Some how v. somehow.
>There v. their.
>Apostrophe before an "s" to indicate plurality on a word that is not an initialism or acronym. (The use of apostrophe before plural "s" is to ensure the "s" is not interpreted as part of its initialism, for example, "FREE CD'S & DVD'S.")
>Lowercase "i" for the reflexive pronoun, "I."
>Run-on sentence.
>Ambiguous pronoun "it": In this case, you claim to delete the idea, not the text it inspired.

How we rectify:
>Learn common portmanteaus.
>Learn that there indicates where.
>Mind your apostrophes.
>Capitalize "I."
>Let not rambling thoughts become rambling sentences.
>Mind your pronouns.

You just improved in six ways.

Here's a seventh.
>Pay attention to what you're doing.

You have the capacity to recognize cringeworthiness, so recognize it while you're writing. The errors above are not caused by a lack of understanding English grammar; they are all instances of being sloppy or negligent. Occasional errors happen to everybody, but this sample is a steady flow of them.

Write like what you have to say matters, and with practice it will.
>>
>>28242373
>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jYiQuXfXEJOA_meKU8C-TZ12kxXDVuIrd0NFWpYcry8/edit?usp=sharing
If you have google docs, you can enable suggestions for easier feedback there
>>
>>28242750

How do i do that, i dont use google docs that much.
>>
>>28242828
Top right of doc > Share > save > Get Shareable Link > Anyone with the link can comment > Copy Link > paste here
>>
Alright you can now comment.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jYiQuXfXEJOA_meKU8C-TZ12kxXDVuIrd0NFWpYcry8/edit?usp=sharing
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Well, this is a thing that just happened[
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>>28244168
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>>28244168
>Copypasta
>Just happened
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>>28230621
>It's all Pikachu and Eeveelutions
>all of like five products featuring frogs

Is this what I get for not going to church?
>>
>>28230800
>a fair chunk of the usual pitfalls for new authors.
Care to list some?
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>>28244371
Well, there's things:
>passive voice
>tense confusion
>rampant typos (as opposed to the ones that sneak by you until you go into edit mode)
>awkward sentence structure
>illogical paragraph structure (like jumping from one point to a completely different one with no explanation as to why one paragraph follows another)
>strange or incorrect word choice
>plot won't move
>plot is moving so fast no one knows what's going on anymore

There's quite a bit that can go wrong for new authors (and veterans too, god knows I make fuckloads of mistakes) but when you're just starting out the mistakes aren't really a thing to be ashamed of, they're just part of the process. As long as you're aware of them and correct them, you'll continue to improve.

There's also voice, but voice is more in-depth and sort of becomes a thing thing you want to refine in your craft but most new authors don't exactly have a clearly defined voice. If you want my expletive filled explanation on voice, you can read this: http://pastebin.com/E6v4ZEfq
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>>28164129
Any writers looking for a story idea?
I have a cute request.
What about a young boy having lost is family gets raised by a gardevoir/gallade couple the boys parents had a good relationship with (maybe they were the parents pokemons). He could form a big sister relationship with the gardevoirs daughter. Get some training and some father bonding time with gallade and get some motherly conforts from gardevoir.
>>
>>28223076
Ah, well I think the best person to bring this up with would be Rosenon, since I'm pretty sure he's the guy that writes about that Roselia named Minty. If he doesn't humor you though, I guess I could work on a thing for you whenever I have some free time (note: free time being the tiny chunks college lets me have).
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>>28245112
Roseanon I remember that guy, he's still around?
I could ask him but I would also like to see what you would come up with if you have an idea.
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So what are you guys writing about?
>>
>>28245204
Being stuck in WIP hell is no fun
>>
>>28248217
A kid running away to start their pokemon journey, an immigrant studying for a trainer license to get a froakie, and another immigrant living with a Scrafty and its jolly band of misfits.
>>
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How do you guys portray the the durability and strength of pokemon relative to a human's?

Many abilities - special ones in particular - look incredibly dangerous if not outright lethal. Are attacks more for show than effect? Will a flamethrower used on a human cause severe burns or just hurt, as it seems to do to pokemon? Can humans only hold their own against weaker, mundane species that don't have access to more dangerous abilities?
>>
>>28248222
If the other guy doesn't want to try it do you think you could try that request?
>>
>>28248404
Team Rocket took a ton of Tyrannitar attacks to the face. Humans have very high Defense stats.

However, everyone still takes cover when the attacks come out, as secondary effects are often more dangerous.
>>
>>28248217
Nothing, but that's only because I haven't got to resume my project in progress, have been a bit busy cleaning up my life.

>>28248404
I think I have commented on this in past threads, but if not:

Your average wild mon is not that lethal, even when packing some moderately advanced techniques. Sure they can wreck the place but they still need to apply themselves for that. Humans and likely much of the biosphere has to have evolved (as in Darwinian!evolved) to account somewhat for the hurt that a Pokémon can deal. In particular trees. And as we all know Pokéverse humans can stroll nto danger and at least come out unscratched out of the first encounter.

Regarding if moves are real or for show, I guess that depends on who are you training. Just like martial arts for real vs for movies, a Pokémon traied to fight to protect or survive is gonna showcase a different applicability to their power and skillset than a mon trainer for sport, for showing off. At a larger view of the differences, we know this is the case because of Contest moves.
>>
>>28248404
>How do you guys portray the the durability and strength of pokemon relative to a human's?

Stronger in the environment for certain. Humans also have higher endurance than they do in reality in order to keep things interesting.

>Many abilities - special ones in particular - look incredibly dangerous if not outright lethal. Are attacks more for show than effect? Will a flamethrower used on a human
>cause severe burns or just hurt, as it seems to do to pokemon? Can humans only hold their own against weaker, mundane species that don't have access to more dangerous abilities?

Name of the game is how well your team can out maneuver the opposition, use a tactical advantage, or score a critical hit on a weak point. I've been wary of making type match-up the only way to win for the sake of reader enjoyment.

Attacks are lethal. Humans have Pokeballs and other situational weapons which make them dangerous as well. A human can absolutely hold their own in combat by quick thinking using the environment to their advantage or packing serious heat.
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>>28248404

Just like animals in the real world, this is going to vary species to species, and heavily with experience. The vast majority of wild Pokemon do not train very much, spending most of their time either gathering food, patrolling their territory or taking care of their young. A wild Rattata or Sentret might badly injure someone if they felt inclined to attack a human (which is rare), but one solid hit from a lead pipe is going to put that Pokemon out of commission. A decently in-shape adult human could potentially overpower most smaller/frailer Pokemon through physical strength alone, but considering that practically all Pokemon are gifted with a variety of natural weapons, attempting to wrestle down something like a Raichu or Servine is seriously ill-advised.

With evolved Pokemon, and trained Pokemon in particular, this becomes another story. An attack from something like Giovanni's Rhydon or Lance's Dragonite could very well turn your average 10 year old Pokemon trainer into mincemeat, and their natural armor makes their body as tough as granite. Anything short of a large caliber rifle round is not going to injure a Pokemon that strong, which makes them phenomenal bodyguards. That being said, not even the most powerful Pokemon alive can shrug off heavy duty military ordinance, and almost all human governments have special forces specifically trained to neutralize dangerous Pokemon should they prove a danger to the public.
>>
>>28248217
>How to approach the spirit world in ACPC
>How to end the first chapter of kanto ranger meets sinnohian and what to title it
>What should happen in the first chapter of Jo and Vio: sinnohian fluff adventures

>>28248404
I'm mulling that over still, but battles have so far been shows of control and mastery of restraint, because pokemon are otherwise completely capable of being lethal to other pokemon and people alike. That said, many of them are also soft targets, making them just as vulnerable to small arms fire and bladed weapons as humans are, especially if the intent is to kill or badly injure, and not simply incapacitate.

For bigger targets then, you bring bigger guns. For the biggest and toughest targets, you introduce the target to depleted uranium and a middle finger. Or fast-movers and a few fire-and-forgets.
>>
>>28249026
I'd imagine that a 50-caliber sniper rifle would be able to take down the vast majority of Pokemon, but you might need something like armor piercing tank rounds for the strongest steel- (and possibly dragon-) type Pokemon; Steelix, for example, which I seem to recall having a hide tougher than diamonds.

Ghosts seem like they'd be a whole other kettle of fish, though. Is Chandelure perhaps the deadliest Pokemon to humans in existence? It can phase through walls, wouldn't be affected by regular ordinance, would be immune to explosions that could take down most other ghosts, and can literally devour your fucking soul if you fuck with it in its wheelhouse.
>>
>>28249227

"Harder than diamonds" isn't all that impressive to begin with, since diamonds tend to be extremely difficult to scratch (what hardness actually measures) but no more difficult than many other rocks to smash. Besides, I tend not to accept Pokedex info as anything but exaggerated rumors anyways as the world would have obliterated itself long ago were even the majority of them based remotely on actual fact.

I do agree that if you're trying to take down something like an Aggron in one shot you're going to want to bring along something like a anti-material rifle, but I specifically said "injure" because smaller grade weapon like a pistol could at least wound a stronger Pokemon like a Salamence even if it isn't able to stop it entirely. Besides, the average ranger toting around that kind of weaponry is often going to want to discourage a dangerous Pokemon from getting near human territory, not try to murder it outright. Heavy duty rifles would probably be reserved for special forces trained to stop hostage situations and other terrorist acts involving Pokemon.

As for ghost types- my theory on how their phasing works is somewhat complicated but generally involves Ghost Pokemon having to reorient their molecular structure to "filter" their way through different kinds of matter. They naturally/instinctively have an easy time phasing through most organic tissue (as this is their default phasing structure) but require a slight delay to orient themselves properly before they can move through certain types of metal or other solid objects. Hence something like a punch from a Pokemon would travel right through them, but different forms of matter such as a blast of water or a solid steel projectile could do serious damage before they have a chance to react. In my interpretation bullets in particular (which I effectively consider the equivalent of steel type attacks) are as effective against Ghost types as any other Pokemon, barring types which naturally resist it.
>>
>>28248217
A guy trying to deal with his Florges who is stealing his breakfast
>>
>>28249950
I love florges do you have an idea on when it going to be finish? I would really love to read it.
>>
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>>28244168
>>
>>28245112
>>28245204
>People still remember I exist.

This makes me happy!
Also, sorry for being near non-present here. I've had the mother of all writing blocks. I've decided to rewrite minty's 1+2, and make them one better story.
Anyway, now that I have no writing blocks, what exactly is wanted of me?
>>
>>28250668
other than more Minty, you got a few other roselia story ideas like >>28221696 or >>28220625
>>
>>28250705
I see...
Well, then. I should get back to writing so I can get this story out.
>>
>>28248217
Mystery Dungeon. Mystery Dungeon everywhere.
Specifically, I'm working on revising a story that I posted here earlier and got some feedback on, and I'm also busy fixing up some other stories of mine. I'm holding off on writing new stuff until that's done.
>>
>>28249992
Not sure. I've been trying to get back into the writing game, but it's a slow slow transition.
>>
>>28251215
>it's a slow slow transition.
The hormone treatment?
>>
>>28251297
at least those go by faster than trying to get back into the game
>>
>>28234789

This is lovely, ee4ee. Thank you so much!
>>
>>28223143
I can critique a bit if you still want it

To start off, there's an odd detachment to your writing. For example:
>The moment that had set foot in the clearing, an ominous silence had fallen all around
You start off the story with the pokemon standing in a clearing and immediately backtrack to a few moments before. Why? You're immediately taking us out of the action into a flashback. It's a jarring choice.

You also have a problem with telling instead of showing. You don't even need to tell. You have plenty of good showing there. For example, from the same passage, you tell us the silence is ominous and then right after describe the reactions that show that the pokemon are nervous. That's perfect. Instead of saying things like "the silence exuded a certain feeling of ominousness that they found unsettling," use those reactions to characterise the silence as ominous and cut the telling.

In the same vein, try to use action to move the story along instead of summarising. Look how you start the next paragraph. There's that detachment again. This is an opportunity to introduce your characters. Do they talk about this decision? Have doubts? Share a resigned understanding? We don't know. Instead of using action to show the reader your story, you've made it boring by summarising.

Also, the dialogue is stilted.
>It’s an important mission, straight from Aqua himself. And you know we can’t turn down a mission that comes directly from the chief of the guild.
Why would she be telling him this? He already knows. Lines like that are contrived and feel like they're meant for exposition's sake. They take you out of the story. And this one:
>I’m a Watcher, after all—it’s my job to maintain this place, so I’ve spent plenty of time here.
Nobody talks like this outside of the intro cutscenes in video games. There are better ways to give your reader this information than to drop it unnaturally into the first few lines of dialogue.
Character limit whoops
>>
>>28223143
>>28252880
Con't
The grammar and spelling are good. There were one or two mistakes but nothing major.

As for the interconnectedness question you had: I wouldn't worry about leaving too much unexplained. The greater danger to beginning writers is overexplaining. Have faith in your readers. Drop them breadcrumbs and let them connect the dots themselves. That's what writing's all about.

Good luck anon!
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Against all better judgment, I have tonight managed to finish BStF Chapter 6
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12125737/6/Big-Shoes-to-Fill
http://archiveofourown.org/works/7944409/chapters/18183841
Pick your poison; the latter has fucky indentation I tried to fix manually, and the former has no indentation whatsoever.

As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Along with basically any kind of comments whatsoever.

have a picture of the inspiration for the larger of Michael's boats
>>
>>28254120
>tfw you're reminded that you don't know enough about boats to know if the one you imagine and feature in your stories is actually a practical, or even plausible, design.
Oh well, as long as I keep the details vague enough, I won't get pinched, right?
>>
>>28254977
If it's spoken of as a boat and accomplishes the functions of a boat, most people is gonna assume it's a workable boat I guess.At that point it'll come down to either pedantry or a royally fuck up visible for those knowledgeable in the audience.

>Notifying the Association for Narrative Portrayal of Water Vehicles
>>
>>28254120
>the latter has fucky indentation
I noticed that, and that it is absent from the earlier chapters—also differentiated by the quality of the quotation marks and the pox of italic spans. The problem is surely at the HTML level, check for superfluous P or BR tags, and write in plain text. If you are satisfied with what FFN generated, you could copy-paste its version as HTML from the document editor page to hope for uniformity.
>>
>>28248217
I WAS trying hard to finish this MoM chapter, but it's a difficult transitional one between things that matter and things that really matter and I'm too sick for this shit. My quality of life and quality in general would probably improve if I waited until my sinuses stopped killing me. Ironically, the chapter is about that exact type of dying.

Is that a thing that happens? Are sick days a thing in writing?
>>
>>28257608
>Are sick days a thing in writing?
Not if you have a deadline.
>>
>>28257608
Depends under what conditions you normally write under. For me I'm usually tired when I write and cannot be as creative when I first wake up (and I use that time to edit if I'm not busy doing something else). If you are sick on a regular basis then I can see it affecting your prose. Don't let acute illness stop you from continuing your work or it might become an excuse.

On a slightly different topic, have you ever written several chapters in advance before posting them?
>>
>>28258145
Is that a question for Mimiga specifically or the thread in general?
>>
>>28258289
Anyone in the thread. Please feel free to respond.
>>
>>28258145>>28258313
Excepting LL as a special case, I always complete my stories before I begin posting chapters.
>>
>>28258145
I like to sit on anything I write for awhile before posting. If I put some time or more writing between me and what I've written, it gets easier to look at it objectively and find issues. A chapter buffer to ensure regular updates is also nice. If I wasn't so interested in criticism and adjusting the story as I received it, I would probably make sure the entire story was written before posting any of it.
>>
>>28258145
>have you ever written several chapters in advance before posting them?

Just a couple, never several. Couldn't fathom.
>>
>>28258145
I have a wierd editing habit that won't let me do that. Instead of throwing up everything at once, I finish a few paragraphs and neurotically correct them before continuing. Instead of a complete chapter or story.

By that time, I put the story out because by the time I finish a chapter, I send it out for fear I might continue this neuroticism.
>>
>>28258145
Nah, never did that, not counting drabbles anyway. Posting chapters one at a time provides a degree of motivation, as I find it a tad too easy to just write off something because, "well, it's not done and no one really knows it exists yet, so screw this, I'll just finish it later." Needless to say, later never comes.
>>
>>28258145
>On a slightly different topic, have you ever written several chapters in advance before posting them?

For BStF I have zero buffer, and in fact don't even run a proofreading sweep, pushing it out as soon as the keyboard cools. This is more due to its raison d'être than any particular point in my process.

>>28258703
This is a pretty good summary as to the 'why'

On that note, I'm actually taking Chapter 6 down for an overhaul, which is a first for this story. It'll go up again later today.

On a less-related note; once more open to requests. Or if you already made one just cross-link me to it again!
>>
>>28258780
>requests
A trainer and a pokemon whose presence is detrimental try to stick together despite the difficulties involved. Eg. Absol cause disasters, Darkrai causes nightmares, parasitic ghosts, or other messed up things from the 'dex.
>>
>>28258780
how about >>28137181 ?
>>
>>28258980
Absol doesn't cause disasters, it warns of them. Although if your intent is just for the pair's society to encourage them to break up, even for superstitious reasons, then your plot would still work.
>>
boop
>>
>>28252880
>>28253025
I'm always up for critique! Thanks for taking the time to read and advise and all that.

>You're immediately taking us out of the action into a flashback
Noted. Looking back at it, it is a bit disruptive. I'll change that bit to keep the action flowing.

>You also have a problem with telling instead of showing
Well, that's not too surprising, I suppose. I haven't done much creative writing before, so showing instead of telling isn't something I've had much experience with doing. Same thing with using action instead of summarizing, but I'll work on it.

>Nobody talks like this outside of the intro cutscenes in video games
Y'know, that's the same kind of thing traipsingexodus told me earlier, saying it sounded like a "tutorial". In that case, I'll reduce the exposition and try moving whatever exposition is needed to the narration in order to remove any unnatural dialogue. Hopefully that will fix the problem.
>>
>>28258780
>>28214192
>>28214249
Would this interest you?
>>
>>28258780
>>28208037
I would really like to see a poke bee story.
>>
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>>28258780
Do you think you could create a story base on this image?
By the way is it really too lewd? I think I bump the thread with it once and it got deleted.
>>
>>28261981
If it was deleted it's probably too lewd
>>
>>28261981
Absolutely improper.
>>
>>28260635
>try moving whatever exposition is needed to the narration
Noooo that's even worse! Use SHOWING to communicate exposition to the reader. You want the reader to know that clefairy is a watcher, right? Right now you tell us that using stilted dialogue (bad). Your idea of fixing it is to tell the reader "clefairy is a watcher" in narration (WORSE). Instead, you need do something like... I dunno, maybe clefairy asks to stop by a special watcher cache of supplies before they go in the temple. Maybe they smalltalk about how long she's been watching the temple as they're walking there, or maybe she tells a story about something funny or noteworthy that's happened in her watching experience.

Don't spoonfeed your readers.
>>
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>>28262070
>improper
A true gentlemen would appreciate a good posterior.
>>
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>>28261981
>>28258780
I guess if you want to try something cute instead maybe something base on this instead.
>>
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>>28261981
That kirlia's expression is very odd. Maybe it's the incredibly wide eye and small overall head.
>>
>>28263076
The head is a little weird but I fined it to be kind of cute.
>>
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Ch. 1 of Only Viridian is now live, readable here:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12134785/1/Only-Viridian
>>
>>28262312
...Oh. I guess it's back to the drawing board, then.

Come to think of it, I believe the problem is that I'm more familiar with doing types of writing like essays and reports that lack stories, in which it seems to be more acceptable to make my explanations and descriptions blatant (or at least, that's how I write them, and I've never gotten complaints about it) because there's no story for them to drag down. So now that I'm trying out creative writing, I just default to boring exposition because that's how I usually convey my info, but that clearly won't cut it in this type of writing.

I've got to change my way of thinking for this creative writing shtick, it seems. Now that I've got a story to think about, I need to figure out how to convey my info while also working it into the story so it doesn't stand out. I'll put your advice to good use in that effort, though. Thanks for the help.
>>
>>28264467
Use your information to design interesting action, and that information will convey itself when you describe what you see happening in your imagination.
>>
>>28264467
Almost. Try to shift a little more. Don't think of it as having to convey information/exposition. You have a well thought out world and that's great, but you don't have to tell your reader everything you thought of. Use your world as a framework for your story and reveal aspects of the world as the story dictates. The reader will piece things together on their own.
>>
>>
>>28264927
That's always a hard thing to do. "You made this great thing. But only show a bit of it. We don't want to see all of it." Sad but true, really. You're totally right.
>>
So I understand that it's generally a good idea to weed out all of the passive voice from your prose. But when can passive voice be used without detracting from the writing? Is there even any set rule to follow, or is it all up to individual judgment?
>>
>>28268281
Well Google gives us this much: http://www.ef.com/english-resources/english-grammar/passive-voice/

To give you a quick tl;dr - the passive voice is being used to show interest in an object experiencing an action, not in the object performing the action. It is also used if we are unsure as to who it is that performed the action on the object, and in formal texts.

That's a summary of those first few sentences. The reasoning behind weeding out passive voice from your text is generally speaking, we (the readers) are more vested in the actors you have performing actions than we are in the things they are performing actions on.

You'll use passive voice in prose, but it'll be used on things that aren't directly involving actors; it is saved for objects that we need to have the readers focus on independent of the actions of a character. Like that link says, we'd say, "The road is being repaired," because we are more interested in the fact that this is happening, and not in who is doing the repairs.

I hope that helps clear things up, but I apologize if it's unclear.
>>
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>>28268572
This really helped. Thank you very much. Have the no-friend loser antagonist of PokéPark 2
>>
it always sounds autistic the way i do it. I never went for the whole 'smut with justification,' but it always turns out that way.

kill me
>>
>>28269524
Having porn with plot isn't always a bad thing
>>
>>28269900
But it sometimes is and that's enough
>>
>>28269524
Sometimes you can turn "smut with justification" into something else. That's how Second Autumn turned out.
>>
>>28269524
How autistic we talkin? I always prefer porn with plot, even if it's silly or somewhat contrived. If it's about a Pokémon I like then I don't have a problem reading it.
>>
>>28270278
I...I added a watersports scene when dealing with the morphed eevee...

It has a plot point! The story is about dominance and submission!

But...fuck the autism when i read it...
>>
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>>28270334
You can't just bitch out, autism is the fuel that runs the engine that is art. Even if it wasn't your fetish after all, there is a clear reason for it being there, is there not? Some of the faggotiest faggots in history wrote some stupid shit and became renowned for it, simply for the fact that they didn't give a damn and wrote what the wanted to write.
>>
>>28270442
Right. That actually helps.

In the story, it is caused by the arrogance of the eevee morph and is explained by a gardevoir morph speeding up the processes in the body to absurd levels in an attempt to help painkillers help take effect quicker. And the reason she can't just use healing pulse or something is because the injuries are on the eye, and she isn't experienced enough.

Yeah, having it all written out makes it seem like it's well justified.

Thanks anon-kun.
>>
>>28270545
Huh. That actually sounds somewhat interesting.
>>
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I managed to get the rewritten BStF Ch.6 in just before the autosage!
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12125737/6/Big-Shoes-to-Fill
http://archiveofourown.org/works/7944409/chapters/18211015
Almost twice as long, actually comes from somewhere, and goes somewhere else.
>>
bufu
>>
>>28270334
>Eevee
>watersports
Not interested in the least, but I'm pretty sure hundreds of other anons will be. These fuckers love Eevee and degeneracy.
>>
>>28275164
Evolve it with a kidney stone, becomes pissporeon
>>
>>28264382
Pretty good, can't wait for more.
>>
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Might as well try to catch up on the newer fics since all my plans were ruined by everything being closed this week.
>>
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>>28258780
Did you end up doing anything with those requests?
>>
>>28281805
Last night was spent overhauling Chapter 6. I might do requests tonight, or take a break from vpwt for a night to recharge. Either way I'll fire one off soon.
>>
>>28281844
Just a selfish question but did any one of those request interests you?
>>
>>28281888
There's a couple I think I might be able to work with, but I'm always open to more if you want to spend the last posts of the thread on dumping some not
>>
>>28282065
How about some roselia/roserade ass play/playful teasing? The trainer could make some remarks on how his rosepokes ass looks bigger compared to the others of her species which makes her mad/embarrass.
Or you could do a short about a roserade and gardevoir competing to get their masters affection. Which could end with him loving both, just being oblivious or in sex if you can write that stuff.
>>
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>>28244168
>not posting the version where they get their dicks burned off
Thread posts: 309
Thread images: 77


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