ITT: in the alternate universe pokemon post threads about humans

>Pikachu STILL hasn't won the Human League

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Ugh. I hate the new designs. So bland

Hopefully S/M fixes the Meta, I'm tired of seeing Alex, Julia, D'quan and Marisa on every fucking team its stupid

>>27959930
>Hating on D'quan

Are you that salty scraggy that lost in the human world championships last night?

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On a scale of 1-10 rate Leshawndra's design

>>27959849
why are whites the only good ones? every vgc match it's just a team of 6 whites, maybe an asian or mediterranean here and there

>>27959987
Because the blacks are too busy being horde battles against a single, just hatched, human.

>>27959980
>a fucking GUN

she's easily going to be OU if not ubers

Is Millennial the worst generation?

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Pikachu will win the human league

>>27960000
Witnessed

>>27959849
>TFW you will never have a cute human (male) to cuddle at night.

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Can a Pokemon impregnate a human?

>>27960047
>tfw I will never dress her (him) up in cute clothes

>>27960048
Can a Human impregnate a Pokemon?

I hate Smogonchad so much. Stupid Brave Boy spamming pile of Muk.

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I got ripped in two weeks! Thanks to the mega stone! Click here to find out how!

>>27959849
OP is a Slyeveon

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>MFW my Marowak gf says she's pregnant

>trying to breed for a shiny Black
>every time I hatch an egg, the male disappears from the day care

>keep training my male human
>only moves learned are charm, harden and pound
>yfw he only uses charm on another male human
absolutelydisgusting.jpg

>>27959849
>wait 9 months for new human to be born
>9 FUCKING MONTHS
>IVs are shit
BRAVO GAME FREAK
R
A
V
O

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All you degenerates, how can you find a fleashy human fuggable? Why can't you have pokewaifu threads like this instead of humanwaifu?

>>27960119
I think your human might be fairy type.
I had a similar thing with my female human, where she turned out to be dark type.

>>27960125
Because humans have kids over the course of 9 months, not a few hundred steps.

What's better, Snoop Dogg @Eviolite or Snoop Lion @Choice Specs

>>27960146
>Not running Snoopzilla

>>27960146
Go for Dogg. Nobody uses Lion.

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>>27959849
>want shiny whitey
>increase shiny rate by breeding britbongasaur with muslimar
>mfw 2,016th eggs later I finally get one
>mfw Hasty nature so fucking low defense
>mfw shiny palette swap to brown looks disgusting as shit
>mfw egg move is self-destruct
Wonder Trading the breedject now to some faggot in Germany.

>>27960149
WTF, Gen VII is garbage

Was breeding two human (white forme) and one of the babies that hatched was black? Thought it was a glitch so I released it.

>go to middle east to catch human
>go to cave, hear something
>allahuakbarrrrrrr
>wild human use guilottine
>miss. That was a close one.
>human use self destruct

Good thing i was able to run. Be safe guys, those humans are extreme!

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>>27960149
>he nicknames his humans

November is coming up. Which version are you guys getting, Hillary or Trump?

I'm getting both.

My human changed gender (was male now female) when it levelled up. And is now stuck in permanent confusion. Any way to fix this?

>>27960178
I want trump version but they said it has some wall the prevents you from catching brown humans.

>>27960190
Teach it Beat Up.

>>27960195
>>27960178
Not waiting for the third version, Jeb

>>27960190
Theres no fix. Release it before it use string shot all over your face.

>>27960178
Waiting for the Putin version tbqh

>>27960178
>Trump randomly becomes a Politician type after 4 gens
Godfreak us running out of ideas

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>braxion will never win da greninja

>>27960190
I think I had this glitch once as well, or something along the lines of it. My White Female Human evolved into a Non-Binary Demiqueer Homosapian. Fucking disgusting, they can't even breed!
>>27960178
Trump version all the way, Democracy/Politician Type FTW.

>>27960232
Makes more sense than Hillary becoming a criminal type.

It's ridiculous how the mascot Human has a clear type advantage, Trump doesn't stand a chance.

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>>27960178
>>27960195
>>27960207
>>27960232
>>27960235
>>27960246
All this fucking Unova love, meanwhile Kalos gets no new releases.

>>27960211
This mon gets it. At least Putin version will release in Kalos

>>27960255
>All this fucking Unova love, meanwhile Kalos gets no new releases.
I don't understand how we get all this Unova lore, but have yet to see the Original Indian

>>27960255
Putin Version?

Ain't that box legendary the new Slav type? Politician/Slav Gotta check the website in a few minutes for any updates on the new type! Slav is supereffective against the previously overpowered Nigger type.

>>27960255
There will never be a Putin version. The lore in that region is so inconsistent, and most humans are banned from participating in the human championships.

What's the point?

>>27960233
She wants to fuck humans anyway

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I found this under my sons bed. How should I approach him about this?

>>27960276
>not knowing the lore will be expanded in the upcoming trump and hillary editions
what are you, some kind of retarded slowpoke?

>>27960306
I really don't get the evolution fetish, it's really just kinda gross.

>>27960306
Give him some human waifu magezines.

>>27960306
help i am a ditto and my friend has a transformation fetish DEAR ARCEUS WHY
HES KNOCKING ON MY DOOR RIGHT NOW
SEND HELP

>>27960338
Transform into his mother and tell him off. But Dittos are into everything, so you should be fine to just play along with him anyway.

What the hell is up with this power creep? Every single release we have the manlet cutoff get higher and higher. Can't even use my male humans from the previous game because anything less than 6'2" is a manlet.

When will this get fixed?

My dad found my baby Pokemon folder and told me over text. I'm afraid to go home

>Tfw gamefreak will never stop shoving presidents down our throat because muh Bush-series-mascot bullshit

HOLY FUCK GUYS, I'VE SOFT RESET 2893 TIMES AND I'VE FINALLY DONE IT! A SHINY BEAR GRYLLS!!! Dubs names him.

>>27960377
Remind him that he force-bred a whole ton of babies to get the perfect son, so he should stop being a hypocrite.

>>27960411
Grill Bears

>>27960411
I prefer my shiny Steve Irwin, even though it mauled a Totodile to death.

>>27960429
Hey man, I'm a Bewear and I find that very offensive.

Guys how do we fix Bernie Sanders? I can't seem to make him competitively usable cuz everytime I play him he get's obliterated by Hillarys and Trumps. Is he the worst starter?

My shiny Shiny Steve Irwin was stolen from my by my older brother, Mantine. He's a jerk, he traded it to his own game when I was away on holiday.

>>27960459
Next time pick Obama. STAB Black-Democracy will wipe out anything.

>>27960441
>tfw a bewear is triggered AGAIN

>>27960010
>Ash
The worst Human ever.

>>27960459
Bernie Sanders is a shitman the socialist ability is better for dubs but who plays dubs? The fact they also put effort towards a pointless secondary effect instead of damage for the signature move made it worse, shit typing, shit ability, shit moves.

Ttriping weith claes is hasrd
DwO

>>27960469
Obama? I know he's good but I really don't like the design. Think do a mono-party run with Ted Cruz as my main

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WHy would they base a human on a Gumshoos? Gamefreak really running out of ideas

>>27960472
Yo, fuck you, Vanillish, you pasty fuck.

I'll have you know that my Jynx has a fine ass. Just because your racist ass based your golliwogs on her, you think you OWN us. You don't own shit, nigga.

Who else agrees that the newly revealed America region for Trump and Hillary version is absolute shit compared to the gem we know as Australia region? Japan region wasn't that bad either.

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>>27960469

>tfw no remoraid

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>post Serena Saturdays!

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We need more threads like this.

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Rate me

>>27960606
I will

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Can someone replace the humans with pokemon instead?

>>27960568
Australia was shit. Most of the humans from that region only had the ability to shitpost online. Just like the Pokemon in that region.

> met this crazy chick on the web
> she loved the same things i do
> we chat for months. We loved each other on time
> we arrange things to meet finally. After months.
> i tell my father that i knew a chick on zangoose4love.net he was upset at first but he was proud that i finally ended my life as a hikikomori
> i met the girl
> mfw she was a Seviper all this time and i left enraged from there.
> she text me everyday but i dont answer her.

>>27960708
Fuck off, Australia was the best region by far.
>inb4 "B-but no Tony Abbot starter"

>>27960728
I once ate a seviper, it was toxic but for some reason I felt stronger from it.

>>27960818
Hey! I'm very proud to have a serviper wife!

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level 9 Wooper here

Anyone wanna /soc/

Pic-related it's me

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>>27960118
Why bother? Just catch a white instead.

>TFW lv 10 Magikarp
>bros a lv 50 Gyarados
>he keeps hitting me with thunder
>I hate him so much just wait till im lv 20 asshole your dead

>>27960818
Did not care much for Australia as a region but that Pistorius post-game shit was pretty good

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>>27960871
Level 12 Mawile

Jolly nature, can mega evolve

looking for a discreet hookup, nothing personal

dm me

>>27961017
Level 42 Garchomp, Evolved Early, Modest.
Can Mega Evolve.

Loves fairies, looking for hookup. One night only.

dm me

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>>27961034
>be me
>meet cute Mawile online
>See her at a club
>We chat a bit and end up fooling around in the bathroom
>Wake up the next day realizing my dick was hit by poison fang last night
>IS now badly poisoned
>Worth it

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So why isn't Mega Ramsay banned from OU again? This fucker is way too strong, STAB Hellfire with Priority is completely retarded.

Level 10 Audino (male) looking for cute older girl to /ss/ me

>>27961097
PAN
HOT

>>27961034
>Garchomp
>level 42

Gabite evolves into garchomp at level 48

>92 replies
>29 posters
It's you again, isn't it Bewear?

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I'm Zek Rom and this is my pawniardshop. I work here with my old mankey and my son, Big Honchkrow. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know WHAT is gonna come through that door.

>>27961121
I'm responding to myself right now

>>27961097
Hey at least its cry is funny, I'll never get tired of it.
>ITSRAAWWWWWW

>>27961117
>Level 42 Garchomp, Evolved Early, Modest.
>Evolved Early

Read the post you fucking Landorus.

>>27961097
I think the other kitchen types should be buffed. Guy Fieri never gets any attention

>>27961138
My bad

>>27961141
THIS. My main bro Ainsley Harriot really needs some love.
>inb4 le dark type sucks meme

>>27961141
I don't know Oliver is pretty good seeing as it can disable food based moves with its Healthy Eating ability.

>>27961097
Just get a human with Anorexia as an ability.

Then he's useless

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>Give human shirt with litteral flames on it

>Not a fire type

This is gamefreak my mons

>>27961200
Yeah but you lose 5% of your HP each turn and anything with that needs it badly

>>27961200
Yeah but they're really rare in most regions. Can you even get them in America region or Australia region?

Welcome to Showderp. I'll be your Machamp for this round, first 6 humans posted will form my team as I take on humanshowdown's greatest retards.

Popular shitmen: http://ketchum.org/

>>27959980
I fucking hate mixed types. Their color palette has such a fucking range from god-tier caramel to dingy-white. You just never know which you're gonna get.

>>27961247
>this

>>27961221
can you use first evolution of D'quan with choice specs

>>27960006
Baby Boomers are legit the worst generation mainly because the designs and overall stats are JUST as bad as the Millenial Gen, but they also ruined the housing meta and shit on the Milennial Gen for not being able to properly function in the new, broken housing meta.

>>27961269
WHO THAUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO GIVE KIM JONG-UN Nuclear missile when his SP. ATK. is so fucking low?

>>27960146
Eminem@Life Orb

But that's still just the best one from a garbage niche, you're much better off with
Disturbed@Rock Gem

You know what really grinds my gears? Jacob Sartorius with his fucking STAB Priority 'Teensong'. On top of that, it has a 30% chance of inflicting the Fangirl status. Someone just fucking ban him from the world championship already.

>>27961141
Somebody once told me
He's getting an American form in the new gen.

>>27961221
Tim Buckley @ Coat Hanger
-Recycle
-Word Scatter
-Blank Stare
-Doom Loss

>>27960178
Gonna just wait for Gary Johnson Version to come out. Trump/Clinton is going to be a shit set of games and cost way too much.

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>tfw you meet this qt Poke
>It's in one of your human's battles
Knowing my rat bastard trainer, he's probably got a Ditto planned for my future.

Just release me already.

>>27961307
>Webcomic artist

Thought they were all shit.

Dobson doesn't even fight, he just rants about feminism

>>27961297

Jacob Sartorius @ Microphone
-Teen Song
-Sweatshirt
-Gain Followers
-Social Superiority Complex Attack

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>>27959849
>2016
>Boogie2988 still can't learn Slack off

when will this fat piece of shit ever become useful

>>27961353
>he's still isn't dead

>>27961385
humans can't die silly, they just faint

You guys ever think that there may be a human in this thread?

>>27961442
u-umm

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Who is the best human and why is it Devin Townsend?

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What are Segata Sanshiro's stats?

Me and my friend got into an argument,and now We're about fight to decide it, Do you guys think my Jon will win against his Arin?

Why are there so many normal types?

>>27961497
My Ross would fuck them both up the ass,

>>27961571
But Barry would beat them all

>>27960000
Checked

>>27961203
>Fire shirt meme

clothes are not humans

>>27960101
OP is a Cofagrigus

>>27960142
Are children born after 4,5 months if you have Flame Body?

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>>27961807
>Children are born inside the mother
What kind of disgusting degenerate fetish faggotry is this?!

>>27961807
Not really, after 4 months the abortion rate just decreases. Also, you probably would need to have the key item NICU (neonatal intensive caer unit) to still avoiding abortion.

>Flame Body.
>Not having an obstetrician.

C'mon OP, they are not that hard to find

>>27959916
Underrated

I've impregnated thousands of human females and STILL haven't gotten a shiny! WTF!?

>>27960048
>>27960056

>Can a Pokemon impregnate a human?
Don't know why you'd ever want to, but I suppose it's possible.

>Can a human impregnate a Pokemon?
You sick fuck.

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I want to fuck a fat human

>>27962167
heard those ones get clingy, amon, so unless you're in it for the long haul I wouldn't bother.

Call me disgusting all you want, but some human females are cute, like Dawn or Rosa.

I would marry them in a heartbeat if I could.

>>27962407
we're on an Amonymous image board, we don't give a shit.

>STILL liking Ash

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>Mfw other mons still don't know my evolution

>>27959849
I can't believe Charizard won, Alain would never be able to KO Ash

When the hell will they run out of ideas? Aren't 7 billion humans enough already?

What kinds of contests do you guys put your humans in? Personally, I like watching them chase a disc with sticks.

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>>27962186
>Amon

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>>27964226
I love HumaStar Studios, personally.

>>27960871
>level 9
MOOOOOOOOOOODS

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>Tfw fug is still overpowered

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>>27959849
Look at this overdesigned human! I miss the good old days of a T-shirt and a pair of shorts.

Best moveset for Lady Gaga?

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is anyone here from the america region? i need help identifying 2 human species

i can't even tell their types

>>27964700
>shorts
They raise happiness but they lower attack
Is it worth it?

>>27959849
>in an alternate universe, Pokemon ride horses and throw balls

>>27964728
Which form?

>>27964767
Only worth it on females because of the added charm effect

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So guys, I was just playing Humans XY for the first time and I was wondering if the starters were any good? I'm leaning towards using Shauna since she looks cute, but Calem and Serena look alright too. Any thoughts? The fact there's some good Shauna porn is weighing heavily on my decision.

Seriously the dildo must be nerfed. It raises the happiness like crazy

Guys, my Chrischan got hit with Poison Stab but there's some weird glitch in my game that won't let me use an antidote on it. What do I do?

>>27964919
Zap it to the extreme. Works every time

>>27964818
Demon Form
Fire/Ghost

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>>27964896
It all comes to down to whether you like their appearances or not
Personally I chose Serena
Also here's me

>>27965002
Poker face/ Mean look
Will o Wisp
Shadow sneak
Protect

How many types can Humans have again? I lost count.

>>27965220
Wich ability do I use?

>>27964896
>Fapping to humans

Fucking degenerate

>>27965220
Replace Protect with Energy ball and it is perfect.

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Caught this shiny human yesterday!

>>27964896
I want to fug both Shauna and that goodra

Hey, can any mon help me? I'm playing Super Human Mystery Dungeon right now, and my team of whites keep falling into horde battles in Detroit and keep getting mugged. What do I do?

>>27965456
do the "god emperor's rise to power" sidequest first, it reduces the number of non-whites in every dungeon

>>27961017
>fairy type
Disgusting, faint yourself.

I just found out my Kirlia gf is cheating on me with a shiny Primeape. What should I do?

>>27965638
what types are you

Why are clown trainers the biggest faggots around? I swear, every clown trainer I know is a drooling conkeldurr with a bloated ego and the retarded belief that they're mystical "Ballios" (they're myths for a reason, fuck off with that shit) and it's driving me fucking nuts.

What are some good counters to clowns? I need to teach these clownfags a lesson or two.

>>27960871
How do you type mate, you have no arms

>>27965663
Steel/Dark

>>27965724
Focus Sash yourself.

>>27965724
pressure a kadabra into fucking primeape up and pay a few gastly to haunt her and gaslight her

shouldn't have to be said, but don't use the pokécenter network to hire them. visit the human tower, i know there's gastly there at least

>>27965257
>implying this whole site doesn't fap to humans
You're in the wrong board mon

>>27964896
What are their evolutions?

>>27959916
Lmao

do they still sell moots in the american game corner?

>>27960078
Git gud fairy, learn counterplay

why did gamefreak ruin the france region?

original france region:
>lots of stylish humans
>cool contests and mini-games
>pleasant scenery
>huge buzzing cities like paris with the eiffel tower and shit

new france region:
>a bunch of weird dark humans
>they all know self-destruct from level 12 onwards
>they added trucks to the cities as a random event so you can get an instant game over by being ran over by one

what the hell were they thinking?

>>27962407
Sickfucks like you are the problem with this fandom.
Seriously people like you have ruined so many good humans for me.

>>27960047
>>27960048
>>27960053
>>27960056
>>27960326
>>27962167
>>27964896
Are you aware of how disgusting you are? What would your parents say if they knew you had this sick obsession with humans? filthy degenerates

>>27960296
Its so sad GF would pander to these muks

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I caught a shiny human. Will trade for any legendary human

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>>27966193
I have a Segata Sanshiro

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I have a mighty need to breed with this human.

Virtual reality, when?

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Claiming this human

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Can someone give me a good set for my humanbro? I really want to use him but he's so helplessly outclassed by the newer gens.

I want a human to pet me and scratch me behind the ears.

>>27966240
not worth it mon

I can't believe someone's Brock Lesnar got caught with illegal stats and they still didn't overturn the win

>>27960630
edge/10

>>27966535
that one's from Diamond right? Normal/Rock? so many new ones ive given up on remembering typings. Return's probably good if you've had him that long.

Lucas (leftovers)
252 spd 4 def 252 atk
-Stone Edge
-Return
-Rest
-Celebrate

not battle specd but seems like a comfy human pal. its nice to see people keeping theirs for so long.

anybody run a nuzlocke lately?

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>tfw humans will never be real

>>27960048
I want fleshfags to leave

To me, the Best gen was the medieval one, now everything sux so fucking hard that it hurts...

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Post human with poke.

>>27959849
WHAT THE FUCK is up with Miltank's Whitney? How does her breats hold that much milk?

>>27967743
You slut. I knew you were a human fucker, but a shotacon too?

>>27959849
On the day of the rope, all of you filthy skinophiles will hang, alongside the grass and rock types.

>tfw in another universe you are your favourite Pokemon's favourite human.

>>27967883
Woah, watch out guys, little Normal/Fairy boi here got angry again

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>>27967743
Best human.

>>27959849
I wish NEET was better. It actually has a really nice movepool, but its stats are just shit. NEEt needs a mega, or an alola form, or SOMETHING.

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>>27967780
Implying that's not a kirlia posting about her evolve form.

>>27968010
>they're not fully evolved
MOOOOODS

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>"There once were humans and Pokémon that ate together at the same table.."

What did they mean by this?

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>>27960177
>naming a growlithe "growlithe"

>ywn have a badass human training you
I just want to travel across the lands, getting stronger, bonding, have adventures. I want every shitty Bidoof in this route to look up to me, and yes I know it'd be damgerous as fuck but real humans would be worth it goddammit. Most of us would probably be part os an NPCs shitty team or an HM slave tho.

>>27968139
You need to see your local hypno

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>>27968108
I know right? I can only imagine how that anon is like in real life.

>be anon at work
>introduced to new coworker
>new coworker is a talonflame
>"By the way, my name is Lemmy but I am cool with nicknames, so what would you like to call-"
>"TALONFLAME"
>"W-what?"
>"YOU'RE A TALONFLAME, THEREFORE YOUR NAME IS TALONFLAME"
>"W-what are you talking abou-"
>"SHUT UP TALONFLAME"
>talonflame awkwardly drops the subject

>>27968233
To be honest I'd probably do the same just to save myself from talking with a talonflame. anybody else?

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This might be the wrong place for this amid all the shitposting, but how do fellow 5IVfags deal with... everything, you know? I mean... my human treats me very well but I can't get over how I'm technically my mother's brother. My human won't talk about all my siblings he's released, just because they weren't perfect. I could have been one of them! Whenever I see a young Pokémon of my species running hurriedly through the tall grass, I always wonder if it's related to me. Why can I enjoy my human's attention and care, while it has to struggle for survival, thrown into the wild without our parents? It's not fair. They've done nothing to deserve this, and neither have I.

And yet... I don't understand how my human can be so sick and cruel but also so kind. He treats me and his other Pokémon very well. He trains us well, he pets us, feeds us treats, showers us with love really. I just don't get it...

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ITT: in an alternate universe humans post threads about pokemon

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I want to hug a human.

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NEW STARTER LEAKS HOLY SHIT
>another indie/fraud line
Didn't see that one coming.

>>27968303
I wish there was an alternate universe where humans existed. I would sell my soul to go there.

>>27968343
>another white human changed race when evolving
Fuck GF, they always do this, when will they learn?!

>>27968202
That would require me to move from my patch of grass, mate

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what is the worst type of human and why is it transgender

>>27968389
>2016
>still living in a patch of grass

Get on with the times grandpa, it's all about TALL GRASS now.

Wait, does Pokemon eat their Humans? And where does the Humans poop??

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Hey, i finally get to post this picture of me

>>27960000
Ash Check'um

So I was posting in another thread about the inherent differences in Base Stats between Sandslash and Alolan Sandslash and they told me to go back to /pol/. Fucking SJP, Base Stats are scientifically proven, and plenty observable in real life. Like how 80% of all Ponyta are faster than the fastest Blitzle in a race.
>muh all Pokémon are equal

I didn't even address IV yet. (I know IVs are an imperfect measure of strength, because nature and moves—which, by the way, are heritable too—affect it as well, but IVs correlate with success in battle.)

>>27968492
Timestamp or gtfo

>>27968492
level/gender/region?

>>27968492
What the fuck where did you find my picture? Did you find that one on my Spritebook?

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>be an average lopunny
>everyone in town knows me, and they all think I am a pure and socially acceptable member of society who don't have impure thoughts daily
>secretly owns a stash of porn that involves schoolboys from the Humans franchise, and fantasize about them on a daily basis
>tfw a qt riolu in schoolboy cosplay earlier today provoked urges within me

None must ever know.

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Can humans and pokemon have a sexual relationship? I love my trainer and I mean REALLY love her but she's just content on being friends. How could I even start expressing my feelingd and not freak her out?

>>27968516>>27968516
This is like comparing humans and giraffes. Not humans and humans. All pokemon aren't a single species like humans m8 :^) back to /pol/ with you.

>>27968688
We all know you're a pervert, Lopunny. Purugly showed everyone your stash.

>>27968688
Would you let yourself be impregnated by a human?

>>27968516
Haven't you heard? apparently there's a way to increase your IVs now, in alola.

Besides, Base stats are just a myth and you know it.

>>27968717
>implying there aren't obvious differences within species as well
>implying Ninetales from Alola aren't Ice/Fairy while the ones from overseas are Fire
>what are Pumpkaboos

If you can recognize the IQ differences in humans and prefer to be trained by a white one than a dumb violent black one, why can't you accept that it's the same with Pokémon?

I'm not saying all Pokémon of a species have equal stats—each one has different IVs, and their training may be different too. But you can't deny that Base Stats put a hard limit on a Pokémon's abilities and kind of shape the average.

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>Bianca will never use toxic on my face

why even live

>>27968820
Toxic's a contact poison, stupid. Namely Pokemon bile.

That shit in your pic's either Poison Gas or Smog. Or Sweet Scent if you consider it as such

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>>27968820
>Liking poison gas
>Not liking humans using belch

>>27968820
>That top tier design
>poison types keep drawing her with their shit tier fetish
Why Arceus? Why must you be so cruel?

>>27968703
The best way is to start by teasing your trainer. Make it look innocent. Bend over to grab things, and show off the goods while you do so. Make sure to plump up a bit first if you are a male. Cuddle with your human, and "accidentally" nudge their crotch, or bump their hand with yours. Don't overdo it, make them seem like honest accidents, and accidents don't happen regularly.

Most humans have a weakness to repetition. Give it a few weeks, or even months, and be patient. Eventually they will start to fantasize, about you, and eventually will start masturbating to thoughts of you. After that, just catch 'em in the act, and they are yours.

>>27968888
>those quads

It's just slang calm down faggot.

>>27968932
There is no arceus.

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I want to fuck this human~

>>27968802
If you actually intend to have a serious discussuon you must leave Pokemon out of this, otherwise we would have idiotic implications like "you have never seen your parents fuck in real life therefore you come from an egg that pops out of nowhere". We don't need to shit up this board with race discussion, that's what /pol/ and /b/ are for. Lastly, I can assure you there are dindu nuffins working at NASA way smarter than you and me and your highschool teacher, and they didn't boost their IVs with hawaiian brain surgery.

Either way, /vp/ is in a bad state recently, no need to bring it down even more with off topic discussion.

>>27969006
...wht's wrong with alolan IV manipulation? I didn't know it was controversial until after I did it. It seemed perfectly fine in theory.

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>Everyone wants to fuck a human

Disgusting weirdos.

>>27969045
fucking artificials

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>>27968820
>mfw i payed a lopunny to dress up as Bianca and use Poison Gas all over me


was so cash yo

>>27969053
Doesn't Latias want to marry Ash?

>>27969045
It makes IVs pointless in my opinion and some consider it against nature. But it's still better than having 25 children hoping for the strongest one.

>>27968888
Checked

>>27969083
Lopunny can't do Poison Gas anon.... I think that was a transpokemon garbodor...

>>27960048
Fucking humanfags

Does this mean Gardevoirs who are into humans are called "fleshfags"?

What do you thing about that legendary human called Jesus??

>>27969603
It is very mediocre stat-wise, at least it has his nieche in being able to fully heal after being KO'd once, it helps.

>>27968751
Yes

>>27969603
It contradicts with other legendary's lore and wih what we actually know about the in-game lore. Maybe it existed, but I'm pretty sure the dex entry and most of what it says about it is tauroshit. Ofcourse, if one day GodFreak decides to actually implement it in the game via a massive event or whatever, I'll eat my words, but so far I don't think it's needed for the current lore and I doubt it will ever be distributed.
>inb4 honchkrow tipping
I'm fine with anyone who still has that headcanon, it's your headcanon, you're free.

>>27969053
Your sister kiss ash.
Besides your dead.

>>27969603
I thought he was under a truck as a kid. Nostalgia aside, strictly speaking it is worse than Jesustwo.

What if humans existed in real life?

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>>27969889
Come on anon those a just in myths......right?

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Name a better water type human.

Why the fuck have they been adding so many Brown-types in the past couple gens?

>>27970109
>not liking delicious brown
It's like you're a male only pokemon. You're not male only, right?

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>>27969094
>>27969852
I got more action than Serena.

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This must become a general sticky thread.

>>27970135
While I'd never even consider fucking a fleshy, Human or otherwise, I have always had a fetish for Pokemon who do. Why?

Why do other mons like Hex Maniac anyway?
I don't see the big deal

>>27961203
>flavor human
>weak to fire

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Yugi is best human.

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>there's pokemon ITT right now who don't exclusively use martial artist humans
What's the matter? Not a member of the based as fuck fighting type master race?

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>there are people who actually think that human XY is a good game

wow you fucking faggots

Doesn't this thread technically qualify as RP?

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>>27970719
well RP represents real pokemon so whats your point

also have a rare human

>>27970719
Isn't this thread awesome? Everyone is having fun, and this could go on forever!

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>be me
>going along by myself, enjoying nature
>suddenly a riolu grabs my tail-stick
Why the fuck are pokemon so interested in my stick? Holy fuck I bet he probably faps to humans every day too.

>>27970458
Only dark or ghost types like her, they are attracted to her for some reason, you're probably just not her type

>>27970772
Calm down Miltank, it just means that the Riolu has a crush on you.

>>27970103
OP as fuck

>implying you can challenge the human gods

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H-hello, Pokemon Celebrity Pikachu here. Any hot femons want to meet up?

>>27970109
They want to make a massive event i guess, like a racial war or the WWIII

>imagine get the New epic rare hitler

>>27959849
I can't believe they made a human based on Gumshoos!

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Why do Smeargles draw Mismagius with giant tits when her in-game model is nearly flat?

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>>27970919
There's something fishy about you.

Did you get a new haircut?

>>27970847
I guess that makes sense. Sorry, I'm just kinda pissed that so many mons have tried to grab or take my stick recently.

>>27959980
Blatant skinbait.

>>27970919
Timestamp first, then we'll talk.

>>27970982
It's just the next gen graphics on my camera. You'll get used to it.

>>27959920
DOUBLE UPLOAD

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>>27970979
What are you talking about she always look like that.

Isn't that pseudo science theory of many worlds fucked up? Where every and any possible scenario, no matter how impossible it sounds takes place in an alternate dimension.

There is a Pokemon dimension identical to the Anime, but there is also every other Pokemon related world you can realistically think of. Crazy. I wonder how Pokemon could be a thing, maybe it would have to stem back originally to how life formed on earth, and organisms would have to evolve to Pokemon we know today.

Now the question is, how do we travel to these hypothetical dimensions? I wanna be a pokemon trainer

>>27970919
Fuuuuuuck, Ground/Fairy egg groups do things to my dick.

>>27970919
Go fuck youself with that creepy costume, you scared the children

>>27971040
Find it out yourself, you psychic type

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>>27970996

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>>27971040

>>27971107
I don't know mon, looks pretty iffy to me.

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>>27971070
I don't understand. It is I, the beloved Pikachu.

>>27971040
>wanting to be a trainer
>not wanting to be a cute female pokemon

>>27971146
100% real. Pikapromise.

New thread pokeanons?

>>27971159
AHA!! Pikachu just says pika pika, not Friend! Friend!

I'm a gamefreak insider, ask me anything about Humans Sun and Moon.

>>27971306
Are there going to be any more non-psychic or fighting type Asian-mans?

>>27971283
You're thinking of humans. Pokemon can speak here.

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>Rough day of creepy-ass fucking humans gazing pervertedly at me
>Finally get back to the fields and start trashing about to get rid of stress and chill out
>My retard brother comes accompanied by his group of friends
>I knew the only reason he'd show up with other people would be to show off
>He's proud of his power
>Challenges me to arm wrestling to find out who's the stronger sibling
>I beat him easily
>He gets all salty and tries to cover his ass by spouting some autistic bullshit about who would win in a real battle, and that a Pokémon like me who thrashes about would lack the mental fortitude to pull of any of my moves with precision, that it takes a certain amount of intellect to develop pride, rather than brainlessly flail around like a monkey, etc.

Why do I have to put up with his shit? Is there a way to cure his autism?

>>27971253
Yeah, go ahead
Also, call it "General alternate world" or something like that.

>>27971306
Will Alolan Red actually be a good Pokemon, or are you going to keep making Ash more "viable" in every way?

Greninja Ash is the biggest asspull in the entire series. He deserved to lose to Charizard-X's Alain.

>>27971368
>assh
>good

Choose one

>>27971457
I mean comparitively. What's the point of using a Mt. Silver shard to evolve Ash into Red when you could just give him a Nostalgia ball?

>>27971180
>>not wanting to be a cute female pokemon

>Not wanting to be a cute female pokemon that gets captured by a cute girl that you slowly corrupt into a lesbian pokephile

>read about legendary human hidden under a truck
>find cookies instead
could have been worse.

>>27971535
You guys are weird. I'd just be happy being a trainer and capturing a QT Froslass

>>27971587
>Being an human
Disgusting.

>>27971620
But they have thumbs. Imagine having thumbs.

>>27971535
>not wanting to be captured by an at least semi-fit human male who you can be the pokewaifu of

>>27971642
I'm a Scrafty, so no problem here :^)

>>27971535
>Not wanting to be a cute female pokemon that gets captured by a cute girl with a boyfriend that you corrupt into cheating on her with you

>>27971672
Lucky. As a Luxray, I have to use a text to speech converter to type. At least I can Look through clothes and stuff.

>>27971642
What pokemon are you? sucks that you don't have thumbs but most of us don't have that brolem.

>>27971764
>>27971754

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HAVE YOU FAGGOTS SEEN A HUMAN CALLED ZINNIA? I NEED TO TEACH HER A LESSON

New thread amons
>>27971844

>>27971836
>implying rayquaza is real
You idiots who believe in those "legendary" pokemon never fail to make me laugh, I bet you believe in arceus too.

>>27971836
Oh, yeah, I caught her. Pretty decent stats, might use her on my human team, or at least as breeding fodder for my Brendan. Hope that's ok.

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>>27971876
>>27971897

THIS IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE, WHERE IS ZINNIA

>>27971923
In my PC! I'm about to get her out. Jeez, give a Salmence a break.

>>27971923
Here>>27964654

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>>27971959
>>27971961

DO IT NOW, BRING HER OUT REEEEEEEEEEEE