>be american >go out to get fresh air and get laid >get shot

>>50163
>be australian
>go out to get fresh air and get laid
>get mortally poisoned

>>50163
why are so many australians shit posters?

>>50163
>be australian
>quit shit posting and go out to get fresh air and get laid
>get killed by absolutely everything from outside

>>50421
>be brazilian
>go out to see your family
>fall off your tree

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WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THIS?

Holy shit, people from most countries have really thin skin. They get assblasted so easily.

I think the only ones that can compare to Brazilians in skin thickness are russians, those guys just wont get mad at anything

>>50758
except the prospect of hillary winning the election

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>>50163
>being australian

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>>50758
>those guys just wont get mad at anything

>>50837

>being black

>>50758

7-1

>>50758
if you make a claim that the americans are what saved europe from the nazis, russians get pretty fucking mad

its great bait

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>>50952
>60%

>>51058

This makes everyone besides americans mad

>>50421
>be br
>get robbed
BTFO LOL!

>>50564
>Be Ausspoorian
>Go to ask wife about her son.
>Get syphilis from a dropbear.

>>51105

>0%

>>51058
Why do they get mad about the truth?

>move to straya
>go to use a bathroom
>stung by irukandji swimming in the toilet water and bit by three funnel webs that skittered out from under the toilet seat
>call for an ambulance
>sirens blare and here comes jack barreling down the road with the shoddiest driving you've ever seen in your life
>jack and william come out and load you onto a stretcher
>a stray honey bee gets pissed for no reason and stings you in the neck
>loaded into the back, you hear angry buzzing noises but william insists it's nothing to worry about, calling you a soft cunt
>the ambulance takes off, you realize there's an active mud dauber nest in the back
>Jack is busy knife fighting a croc that snuck in the passenger seat, bumps over a massive scrub python in the road, prompting the dauber nest to fall and explode into a swarm of pissed off paralyzing wasps and half-eaten, awakening redback spiders
>william stops unfucking your horrendously envenomed body to knife fight the mud daubers
>the croc won the fight up front because it had a bigger knife
>vehicle loses control and careens into the ocean
>a blue ringed octopus, box jellyfish, and a bull shark with an entire german shepard still thrashing about in it's jaws all flood into the vehicle
>all this shit that needs fighting and you never bought a proper knife in what used to be your life
>die
>jack and william's spirits cartoonishly ascend in sync with yours, gut-laughing all the while about how the knifeless gook got done in by a jelly

>>50758
>I think the only ones that can compare to Brazilians in skin thickness are russians,
Don't forget Israelis, they simply don't give a fuck

>be Australian
>lose the emu war

i aint letting this thread die today boiz

>>51363
kek

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>be aussie
>literally go outside
>die

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>be yank
>get btfo by aussies

>>51513
Emus better not come round here I fucked a bullshark up.

S-stop bullying Australian
p-please!

>>50163
Australians are the fucking worst.

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>>53591

>>53591
there is no such thing as "vulgar language" to a yankee

>>53468
Kek butthurt tourist csnt handle a little bit of death

>>51344
A funnel web can't fit under a toilet seat you filthy sep

>>53468
>people are un ironically scared of dingos
holy fuck what the fuck i dont even think that picture is a joke

>>51252
Man don't even joke about dropbears

>>54020
they just look like dogs but everyone always talks about them as like wolves or hyenas or something stealing babies and so on
are they not that dangerous?

>>54150
they are equivalent to a wild dog

>>53468
Why do people even live in that hellhole again?

>>51058
And if you tell Americans that they didn't do shit, they get mad too.

>>54150
Can you kick?? Theyre literally wild dogs.
>>54364
Cause you get to bash coons.

>>53468
Still less dangerous than Brazil.

>>50163
Are spiders really a threat in australia? I mean, like you have to be careful if you go to a park or something?

>>54364
rich wealthy developed country
also muh HDI

>>54522
I found a Huntsman under my pillow before and Redbacks in my mailbox.

>>50758
Idk, brazilians always try to defend Brazil when it come to a murrican saying shit.

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>>50163
>be australian
>declare war to emus
>loss

>tfw nobody can make you mad because they don't know shit about you.

>>54436
Pablo, you're still paying for the wall.

>>53468
Is Australia the Deviantart of God

>>54782
>being a literal who country
>in 2017
pretty pathetic desu

>>54708
for just £2 a month you can help a canadian regain his leaf

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>>50163
>303 KB

Well shit, im surprised.

>>54843
FUCK OFF WE'RE FULL

Does any one have shards or hammer to tick?

>>54952
aussie magic mate
you wouldnt understand

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>be american
>drive stick
>get shot

>>54150
wanna know a secret

a vast, vast majority of the Australian population never interact with any of those things, maybe ever

none of them are really present in the major cities, where almost everyone lives (Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne and Perth) and even the majority of people who live in more rural areas barely come across anything really dangerous, especially spiders and snakes and shit, they just wanna avoid humans not fuck with them

your dogs more likely to get fucked up after licking a canetoad than bitten by a snake or spider, I lived on a rural property 45+ minutes from the closest small town on a reasonably large block of land for about 10~ years while growing up and never once got bitten/attacked/whatever by anything. Saw a few brown snakes, some redbacks, shit like that, but this is literally in the middle of the bush and I was walking around in their territories, as long as you take a dog and keep the the roo trails I can't imagine really having much of an issue

the worst thing that ever happened to me was some grub dropping down the collar of my shirt and giving me an awful itchy rash

who melbourne here?

>>54789
Yeah, Juan, I know. I'm ''''''''''''''''''''paying'''''''''''''''''''', but actually you're paying for it.

>>55091
>Dingo detected

>>55256
ive never seen a dingo in my life desu

do they only live on fraiser island?

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>>50163
>be Japanese
>go out to get fresh air and get laid
>get hit by a truck

>>55091
aside from spiders and shit northern territory is the dangerous bit?

>>55091
>tfw never seen a casswarie before and only seen a dingo at a animal park

>>53468
Cassowarys are the raptors of the bird world
>raptors
>birds of prey
>Cassowarys are the birds of prey of the bird world
I thought burgers were supposed to be the dumb ones.

>>50163
>Be australian Policeman
>Get shot by Mudslime or stabbed by a drunkard

>>55511
Yes not cause of the poisonous wildlife it's the coons.

Google don't sleep on the road campaign the government set up for abos.

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>this thing is sticking to the outside of your house
what is the proper way to go about such a conundrum in aus

>>54782
>Panama
>literally who
You ain't seen nothing yet.

>>55841
grab behind its neck or just beat the fuck out of the cunt

>>55841
Give it the left right good night n curb stomp the bitch.

>>55511
I doubt the NT is even that bad, I haven't been there since I was a toddler though so I can't really give you any first hand experience. I think its mostly just insanely remote and pretty barren. If I was lost there I'd be way more worried about starving/dehydrating to death than being bitten by something or any kind of 'dangerous' wild animal.

>>55529
>>55757
I saw a cassowary once at a beach just south? of cairns somewhere, apparently they were commonplace there (they had signs up about it)

desu I didnt even notice it until someone pointed it out to me

>>55841
probably leave it be, if its daytime cunts probably asleep

>>55802
yea there's memes on /int/ about them being petrol huffing road sleeping good for nothing members of society

>be me
>get stalked by degenerates

>>55841
Do australians really take such poor care of the outside of their homes?
Jesus, have some fucking pride

Remember to please don't sleep on the road

>>50163
That's only true if you're in Detroit

>>56208
no idea if that's even Australia just saw it posted in a thread about it

>>55872
RARE.

>>56291
Well whatever country it is, they need to take care of their home. I dont even want to know what their lawn must look like

>>50163
>be american
>can't follow the damn train

>>50758
Except I constantly see Brazilposters getting buttmad whenever Americans shit on them.

>>54522
memes aside, no. a spider isn't going to mistake you for prey, it sees you as a threat. it'll only bite you if it feels cornered. so you only have to worry about spiders if you have tight places you quasi-regularly stick your hands in like say under the seat of a bike. if its something you use every day a spider won't set up nest there. it's only if you have things you tend to only use once a month or less.

and if its something like a garage you just have to get in the habit of shining your torch on anything before you stick your hand in.

and even then medical technology has advanced enough that you can call 000 and be fine. the kinds of spiders that can kill or paralyze you instantly give human settlements a wide berth

>>54708
lets see you do better mapleblood

>>56462
>shining your torch
This shit always confuses me for a second

Why did the british start calling it a pocket torch at all

>>56462
t. a spider

>>55872
Ironic, isn't.

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>>50163
>be american
>live in the greatest country in the world
>drive my $80,000 car which I afford with my 150k salary to the range for a round of fore with my gf
>shoot the shit
>go to my favorite eatery after
>run into ferral pack of niggers
>rape my gf and shoot me in the back of the head
>now I live in a hospital and eat through a straw

fuckin niggers

>>55872
>I just watched Air Force One days ago

>>57029
Hurry! Another RARE reply to this RARE and keep the chain.

>>56212
what cunt i dont even understand this reference

>>57192

>get cold
>500k medical bill
>die

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>be australian
>housing bubble
>games are good $50 more expensive
>tramp stamp on flag
>everything is venomous, from dogs to sisters
>mommy has a belly pouch
>ping 400+ with data cap to slow down on that supersonic 1.5 Mb/s """"Internet""""
>struggle to load up about:blank
>smear vegemite on your wooden cables to boost the signal as petrol shaman instructed
>have a Gaytime that is hard to have on your own
>celebrate National Sorry Day
>go to Canada as a girl, get drunk and frostbitten during a nap outdoors in February
>go to Bali and get burned
>be tasmanian, be inbred
>get cancer due to the lack of ozone layer
>get glassed
>get fucked by Wei Long
>get shot by Muhammad the Pinoy
>get stomped by emus
>get kicked by cassowaries
>get stung by platypus and live in horrible world of pain for months
>get bitten by spiders in your closet
>get in the water and step on a venomous sea urchin
>get stung by a 4mm jelly fish
>get curb stomped in kings cross
>get privilege checked in lelbourne
>get chlamydia from koala
>get anthrax from wombat
>get fucked by kangaroo
>get rused by NBN Co. site
>get invaded by chinks
>get bit by snake in shower
>get kids stolen by dingos
>get laughed at by two Polacks on /int/
>get nuked by fucking Brits of all people
>get mocked by New Zealanders
>get outside and fall into the pit because the world literally hasn't rendered yet
>lose all wars, even against allegedly lesser beings
>huff petrol, bubble and drink cow piss from a goon sack
>2 0 1 6
>0 * * 1
>1 * * 0
>6 1 0 2