/meg/- Mass Effect General

>>182465673
Those look infected but you can't tell with quarians

>>182465673
>treats in the OP on Wednesday

What the hell, anon.

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Liara is best waifu.
Quarians are trash.

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Repostan latex.
>would help lube up/10

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Gentlemen, we did it. /dag/ is finally gone.

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Ocвящaю тoпoвoй пиceчкoй.

>>182465673

Man, quarian feet are so fuckin' gross.

>>182466047
I want to sleep on that

>>182466050
Good job, took you long enough.

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>feet
Damn, I was about to make one, had it ready, and this happens. Sad.

>>182466050
Have you considered possible repercussions?

>>182465673
Absolutely disgusting

>>182466398

Lap, butt or tummy, though?

>>182467253
Yes

>>182466676
I made them abandon their general, I will make them fuck of from here as well if they show up!

>>182467503
What did you post over there?

>>182467503
Thanks for nothing Lelianafag

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>>182467503
/dag/'s dead and here's dead. So might as well post DA.

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Mass Effect desperately needs more latex tummies. I need more of that bellybutton indention.

>>182467320

But what about resting your head on the chest?

/dag/ fuck off

>>182469019
It's gone. Blame the Leliana faggot for that.

This is objectively the worst thread we had in a while

I just wanted to talk about going to the beach with your femtur gf

>tfw just want comfy greentexts with waifus
>/dag/gots won't even let me have that

Is /dag/ the Batarian Hegemony of /vg/?

Assassin Dance tomorrow. Had a huge writing marathon last night. Will be writing when I get home.

>>182469582
>more turians

No, thank you.

>Outdated femtur pastebin in OP

Fixed https://pastebin.com/MEdWcTu9

>>182469582
>go to the beach on a nice sunny day with your femtur gf
>you build a nice sand castle, complete with a few towers and a moat
>she digs a foxhole

>>182469859
There's like 4 /dag/ posts. Chill.

>>182470391
>she then requests you to surrender while holding a stick like a rifle
>the trench is deep enough for to hide lewd

>>182469582
>ywn take your femtur to the beach
>she will never ask what you are doing her
>ywn strip down to your swim suit making her blush
>ywn hand her a turian swim suit
>she will never tell you that turians don't do water
>ywn convince her to trust you
>ywn hold each other in the water making sure shes comfortable
>ywn try to teach her how to swim
>ywn pretend to drawn so she has to do mouth to mouth on you
>ywn pull her into a kiss as shes doing it
>she will never drag you home and punish you in the bedroom for making you worried.
life hurts

>>182471080

Get her some arm floaties.

>>182471080
*her worried

>>182470104
Looking forward to it.

you will never take ur femtur horseback riding
you will never dress her up in traditional horse riding gear.

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Its much better to watch a femtur being degraded. Unlike asari, who are natural sluts and have no shame, it would be more satisfying to destroy their dignity and honor

>>182471214
>tfw you make sure her swimsuit and floaties match the color of her colony markings

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>>182471461

>>182471462
Femturs are just hidden sluts, there is a fair bit of rutting in hierarchy forces, according to how they tie break sparring matches...

>>182471770
They are sluts with other turians but are probably not as open to interspecies as asari. Perfect for humiliation, especially by humans, maybe BTs and krogan.

>>182466047
Oh baby jingo! She should do Cora too.

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>>182471938
Foamed femturs?

>>182469019
Are /dag/'s german and /meg/'s german the same person?

>>182465967
i've never seen a man be so wrong and so right at the same time. liara is certainly god's gift to the universe, but tali is god's gift to the galaxy.

turians and dykes need not apply.

>>182471770
I hate you femturfags

>>182472219
No, they are not. Yours earlier was with a public tripcode.

#l)1^?Gun

Fic Challenge: Dom Zaeed Massani x sub Batarifu

>tfw you and your femtur gf will never dress up in opposite racist factions
>You will never hear her complain about skullheads while being adorned in Black, orange and white
>After you do your fair share of complaining about 'hairless apes', you will never strip her replica Cerberus armor off for some lewd times

>>182472215
Would a BT male be strong enough to overpower and slap a collar on a femtur? They are at the same height disadvantage as humans, but look buffer

>>182472909
reminds me of an old fic about Tali needing clothing and all she could find was a causal Cerberus uniform in Shepard's closet.

>>182473059
>Weaker muscles
>Height disadvantage
>Weight disadvantage
>Sharp talons
>Close combat training

The BT would have his eyes gored

>>182473059
Batarians are apt slavers though. He would make use of improvised traps and lock the incapacitated femtur in a cage.

>>182472909
>ywn have a super kinky femtur gf
>ywn walk down into your basement to find her bound and tied
>ywn hear her say "oh no i've been captured by the primitive ape, please don't eat me" she says with a sly smile
>ywn indulge in her fantasy

>>182473059
One Cerberus Daily News story notes that every weight class of MMA is now dominated by turians or krogan after a turian light heavyweight fighter knocked out the reigning human champion in two rounds. So turians are almost certainly proportionally stronger than humans of the same weight (which is probably why in MP turians get a bonus in carrying capacity and reduced recoil). Batarians are never noted to be such, by all indications they're identical to humans from the neck down. Additionally the notes on the Archon's ship call turians "very agile" and "tough", while calling humans "fragile" and saying nothing about their agility (salarians are also said to be agile, but like humans, fragile). Combine that with military training, talons, and a significant reach and weight advantage with 190+ cm and ~90 kg being average for a femtur, and the average femtur should handily crush the average male from most species like the human-tier BTs.

Femturs aren't just for lewd, they are for cute as well. Like when you both try to turn your translators off to teach your respective languages and you hear her butcher English words in her clicky parrot voice

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Rollerino

>>182475595
I'm going in

>>182474987
Especially important phrases like "How are you", "I love you" and "I am a big dumb birdraptor"

>>182475595
>post picture of Lawson
>"Can have kids."

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>60 posts in
>no cuddly Vetra

Let us fix this.

>>182475595
Still no male version

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>>182476696
I suppose she´s busy right now

dextrofags gtfo you filthy degenerates

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>>182478025
She's 6'6, not eight feet tall.

>>182476696
>>182477463
>>182478025
>wanting a carapace skinned insect

>>182478148
No

>>182478329
How tall is Ryder? Isn't he like the tallest human dude on the Tempest

>>182478682
not my problem if you hate yourself, you might cut off your dick while youre at it

>>182471461
I would sadle her up, ride her to the middle of a desert, tie her to a cactus, leave her there to die.

>captcha: stop Angelica
You're not the boss of me, captcha

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>N7 2017

>it's been several weeks since you bonded with your femtur gf
>you awake from a Pleasant dream to find yourself staring up at the ceiling
>you try to move your hands to rub your eyes only to find your hands are bound
>your eyes dart around the room trying to figure out what was going on
>that's when your femtur gf came in wearing a lab coat
>"so these are the ape's that activated the relay" she says seductively
>you struggle against the bounds "fucking skull heads" you say with a clear sarcasm in your voice
>she begans too circle the bed
>"my my what a tongue on you" her flexible finger running up your arm
>"what the fuck do you want from me" you say in character
>"i want to know" there was a slight pause when she fished out a knife "your biology
>"ok this was getting to real" you think to your self
>she brought the knife to your neck, your eyes following the movement of the blade
>she proceeded to cut your pajama top in half, her eyes gazing down at the alien underneath
>"hmm our troops did say you were squishy" you hear her say
>the tension was to much you begin to feel your self grow as she continues to study your biology
>"my oh my i can't believe that a primitive would find interrogation exciting" she says as she gazes back a grin on her face
>she reaches back placing a hand on your cloth shaft
>she gasps "who knew such a squishy species could be hard in all the right places" her mouth agape
>"this requires further investigating" as she pulled down her pants
>she gazes down at your large member as she rubs her chin
>"how does i feel i wonder" she says reaching for it
>you grunt as her hand makes contact
>"you want to know something primitive" she says as she turns around
>you remain silent
>"my bond mate hasn't touched me in weeks"
>so thats what this is about you think
>she begins to undo her pants as she contiunes
>"he's been so busy at work that he hasn't given me so much as a thought" she hops on to the bed and straddles you "now its time for reveng

>>182478726
Every human male in the game is the same height, so say 5'9-5'10.

>>182470104
what about the vetra/scott stuff.

>>182479363
Lewd, anon

>>182479363
Uh oh, anon

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best boi

>>182479648
Fuck that, there is a decent amount not enough but I want to see this shit first

>>182479363
>you audibly moan as she inserts you into her
>"he's so busy at the god damn alliance embassy he has not time for his bond mate" she says between breaths
>she began to increase her tempo much to your enjoyment
>"sorry" is all you managed to grunt out
>she pushed some buttons on her omni tool and the restraints became undone
>"prove it she said"
>"your face collided with her's as you pulled her into a long and deep kiss
>you began to push forward until she laid on her back
>finally breaking the kiss you look deep into her eye's
>"look i'm sorry their is just a lot to clean up after our war with the reapers" your gaze not breaking
>"then take me now"
>you enter her all at once
>her moans act as kindling to your fire helping you find the strength to increase the rhythm at which you both move
>you notice her talons both on her feet and hands begin curling into the sheets making you fear that you may need to go purchase some more
>but that thought soon left your mind as your bondmate showed sighs that she would be climaxing soon
>you begin to speed up even faster now hoping that you can both climax at the same time
>your hope becomes reality as you both moan out in delight
>as you roll off of her you grab her hand
>"look i know i've been busy but i promise to spend more time with you" you say looking at her
>"you better" she says with a smile
i don't know how to write ending forgive me lord

>>182481943
Another one escaped from /dag/

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>you will never meet her again

>>182482845
not only an ending you dont know how, i might add

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simply the best

>>182482845
It was cute, all is forgiven.

>>182482885
I'm okay with that. Thanks for reminding tho

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They're here

True color

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>>182483292
Contrast enhanced

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>>182483464

>>182483464
Damn it probably looks like my anus few hours after eating spicy food.
No, my anus doesn't eat spicy food

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>>182483628

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>>182483795

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>>182483967

>>182483967
It's 2 cute and pure.

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>>182484151
bonus pic

>>182484304
Salvador Dali?

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>>182483397
>Kaidan and femShep
No

>>182431896
I have a feeling the white wire is the only one that needs to be cut, so do that. Or I'm just an idiot.
Either way, really interested in your next entry.

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>>182485343
Yes!

>>182485420
do we think its a good idea to cut wires with metal

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>>182485707
theyre so cute

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>>182486192

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>>182486383

>>182485865
Could try to smash the black bowl with the chair, if it isn't too strong. Then use a broken piece as a cutting tool for the wires, without fear of getting shocked.

>>182487091
That is way too curvy to be a turian, also I never knew there was so much Femshep/Kaidan shit

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>>182486826

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>>182488194
Fixed the white space

also the future is now
https://apnews.com/5faded432b014bffa05b2113faff697a/Novel-leukemia-treatment-could-be-1st-US-gene-therapy

>>182487964
>>182486826
>>182486383
>>182486192
The worst

>>182488384
Neat article.

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>>182488384
gene therapy?

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>>182469582
>>182470391
How do you like my trash OC, /meg/?

femtur faces are hard as fuck.

>>182475595
Rollin'

>>182475595
Rolling

>>182490567
that´s some nice stuff

> hard as fuck
Could be because of the faceplate, duh

>>182475595
Roll

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>>182466050
Not anymore, lelfag imposter!!!

>>182485420
>>182485865
>>182487540
Is this your final answer?
Update tonight (hopefully).

>>182490567
Good work, anon.

>those arm floats
Muh heart, too cute.

>>182475595
Roll

>>182490567
cute

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Is this something the Asarifags and Femturfags can live with ?

>>182491309
Now you have me rethinking shit.

I'm hoping the wire colors aren't important, because if they are then I'm missing the meaning behind them. Likely missed something trying to catch up to what happened.

>>182492449
Don't overthink it too much.

>>182492227
no

>>182494735
nothing gets me off more then suitgypsys getting fucked

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>>182466050
Hey, I lurk on /meg/ too you filthy imposter!

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comfy time

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>>182497996
Yep.

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>>182497996

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>>182497996

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>>182479424
He looks very slightly taller than Gil

>>182491309
>Use metal bracket to unscrew grate
>Take the chair to the black bowl to try and break it
>Use plastic piece from the bowl to cut at the wires, you don't want to risk getting shocked.
>Cut red first, then cut the black wire if nothing happens with the door
>If nothing happens still, try connecting the red and black wire together to see if that'll cause the door to open
>If they don't stretch enough to connect each other, carefully use the metal bracket as a way to connect them. Or the restraints, either one since they're made of metal
>If none of that has worked, cut the white wire then try red to white, then black to white
I'm out of ideas after that.

I tried, anon. Most of this was pretty much said in the replies last thread, but I thought I'd also contribute. Hopefully this won't fuck us.

>>182501936
you forgot the part where you save femtur and sex her at home later

>>182502883
We have to make sure to get out of the cell first before planning that, dummy.

>>182503858
She'd be my motivation. I'd have to know if she's alright, or if not, I'd want answers/revenge.

sad sitting in a dead gen while i wait for my books to get here

>>182505327
now take that cruiser
and add this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1s7S51zL2Q

>>182429894
Previous save

>It's time to get out of here.
>Thinking quickly, you make your way over to the metal grate and begin to loosen the six screws on its face using your handy METAL BRACKET.
>After a little bit of patience, the grate pops off and clatters loudly on the floor, exposing the 3 wires behind it.
>You frown. You aren't much of an electrician, but something tells you that you shouldn't attempt to cut wires with a bare piece of metal.
>Glancing around the room for alternatives, you spot the plastic black bowl still sitting on the floor after you removed it from the camera.
>Improvising, you take take the metal chair and smash one of the legs against the bowl, causing the thin plastic to crack. Another hefty hit, and the bowl shatters, producing a nice, sharp shard of black plastic.

You have acquired a PLASTIC SHARD.
>You make your way over to the exposed wires, and give them a thoughtful stare. Decisions... decisions...
>You decide that the red wire is the first to go. Using the PLASTIC SHARD, you manage to cut through the wire with little difficult.
>Nothing happened. Hmm. Well at least you didn't get shocked.
>The black wire is the next to go. Cutting through it reveals the same result as the previous wire.
>You decide to get creative, and try connecting together the red and black wire.
>A brilliant bolt of electricity shoots between the two wires, causing the overhead light to go out, bathing the room in darkness. You hear a faint click, and then a hiss come from the direction of the door.
>Progress, perhaps?
>You're still curious about the white wire.
>You have a few options:

1)Test the door. It's time to see if you can get out.
2)No stone unturned. Cut the white wire anyway.

>>182506718
Curiosity killed the cat, get the fuck out of there.

>>182506718
Messing with the other wire might do more harm then good. Test the door first.

>>182501936
Well done, by the way.

>>182506718
GET THE FUCK OUT YOU GOT PUSSY TO SLAY

>>182475595
fug seriously though where is the male version

>>182475595
please raptor gf

>>182506891
>>182506975
>>182507121
>>182506718

>You've had enough of this place. You decide to test the door.
>Feeling your way along the walls in the darkness, you come to a stop as your fingers find purchase in a wide inset seam in the wall.
>Ah ha, so it seems that your little plan worked. Freedom at last.
>Gripping the door tightly, you give it a hard shove to the side. The door slides effortlessly into the wall.
>Before you can begin to enjoy your newfound freedom, the piercing screech of an alarm blares overhead. Red lights begin to flash in the hallway in front of you.
>Well then. Your time of freedom may be limited.
>Through the open door, you find yourself facing a long hallway, lined with the same white metallic walls as the room you were just in.
>The end of the hallway splits off into two seemingly identical corridors, one to the left, and one to the right.
>Over the noise of the alarm, you can hear the pounding of boots against metal coming from the end of the hallway.
>You can't tell which direction it's coming from.
>You don't have a lot of time. There's no backing down now.
>It's time to make a choice:

1)Run down the hallway and to the left.
2)Run down the hallway and to the right.

>>182509345
fuck the white wire was for the alarm
well the right path must be the right path

>>182509345
Run down and to the left

>>182509345
Always go left.

>>182509345
to the left but make sure he does this to the first guard he see's
https://youtu.be/LiTYeMVDpTs?t=59s

>>182475595
Roll

>>182509809
You fool, we'll be shot.

>>182510046
we already caused dmg to the facility and broke out of our cell i think surrendering is off the table
plus if were that important they won't kill us

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_hVyCFY4Wg
what the fuck is this autism

>>182512218
i was tired and rpg anon was leading us on

>>182510168
Just demand a job for testing more of their security.

I mean, you should be hired considering you broke out of their cell with nothing but the items inside the cell itself. Easy win.

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>>182512296
oh, ok. carry on
oh my god the ride never ends

>>182512385
Good luck proposing that, they won't understand your alien language.

>>182512510
Hey, you found more stuff to cringe at. Nice.

>>182512721
remember child we are all bad fic anon

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>>182512510
i'll raise you this

>>182512704
A firm handshake will always get you hired, language barriers or not. You've already won.

>>182513009
>all of this started because of a poor hand shake
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgeLuQAIrS8

>>182512721
Reminds me of an early ME fic where the humans are ruled under a WH40K like emperor and Shepard is a eight foot tall genetic perfect and had hald a dozen waifus from different races and Tali is a Princess to Rannoch and Sangeheli, Twi'lek's and Torgutas are in there for some reason and the turians are the eternal enemy and Shepard knocks them all up.

What a magic era Mass effect 2 speculative fanfiction was.

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>>182512957
>[Tali'zorah, OC]

Everytime

>>182513304

too much effort to make an original quarian waifu

>>182513246
I'll just pretend what you described doesn't exist.

I might sleep better at night.

>>182513009
You were their prisoner. A handshake already got a nice femtur shot. Good job, anons that didn't pick surrender. You done fucked up.

>>182509623
>>182509652
>>182509809
>>182509345

>You decide to run to the left.
>Your heart pounds in your chest as you sprint down the hallway. You hope that you'll be able to evade whatever or whoever is coming after you. You hope that you'll be able to find your friend again.
>You sprint around the corner, already almost out of breath.
>Unwittingly, you smack face first into a large, blue figure, sending you sprawling on your ass. Ow.
>Looks like most of your questions are about to be answered.
>Propping yourself up, you notice that figure you ran into looks quite similar to the one you encountered on the balcony. They appear to be rather stunned as well.
>Quickly gathering your senses, you can hear the pounding of even more boots across metal, this time coming from both ends of the hallway. The stunned alien on the ground has only given you a small window of opportunity.
>You're about to be surrounded.
>Oh fuck.
>You have a few options:

1)Surrender. They haven't killed you yet and you'd like to remain that way.
2)Get up and try run. You might just make it out.
3) Stand your ground. "You'll never take me alive, you ugly motherfuckers!"

>>182513930
surrender and hope that big boss comes to save you

>>182513930
>4) none of the above
Take the stunned ayylien hostage. Get it in a headlock and physically threaten to tear a mandible off.

>>182513930
Well, if you run, they might kill you this time. Standing your ground surely means death.

Surrender, you enjoy being not dead.

>>182513930
Fuck, well surrender, I guess.

>>182513930
Take hostages.

THIS ENTIRE RPG SECTION
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypqhIvLvnHA

>>182513930
Do we still have the plastic shard? Maybe threaten to open up the guard's artery with it.

>>182515872
like plastic will get though a turian hide

>>182513930
You going to die if your ass doesn't surrender

>>182515984
It's the threat of it which gives us leverage. A dead hostage is the last thing we really want.

>>182516228
we still have the metal bracket and if it can get screws out it can definitely stab a person

>>182516228
>implying a hostage situation would ever work in this situation

>>182516228
yeah
>>182516348
this anon is right they already shown they don't mind hurting their comrades to get you

>>182516228
I understand where you're coming from, but there's pretty much no way out if you try to take a hostage while surrounded. Plus, when it does go wrong, you're double fucked for attempting to take a hostage.

>>182513246
The ME fandom is a pathetic mass of HFY fantasies. Probably because ME is one of the only series I can recall that both deals extensively with galactic politics and casts humanity as an uppity middle power rather than a superpower or a microstate. It's honestly hilarious.

Watch it be just an elaborate training simulation

>>182513930
Surrender, we might actually die.

>>182514083
>>182514247
>>182514345
>>182516027
>>182517125
>>182513930

>You don't see a way out of this one. You decide to surrender.
>You get on your hands and knees and put your hands behind your head. You hope the aliens recognize this as a sign of compliance.
>Soon enough, a pair of blue-armored aliens grab you roughly from behind and force you to the ground.
>With your face to the floor, you can hear the metallic click of cuffs being snapped around your wrists.
>As you're forced to your feet, you begin to worry. Wherever they're taking you, its probably going to be far more difficult to get out of, considering the ease of which you escaped your previous confinement.
>Before you can begin to figure out where the aliens are taking you, a blindfold is wrapped around your eyes, and you feel yourself shoved forward. Looks like they want you to walk.
>You walk awkwardly for what feels like five minutes, the aliens behind you, who you assume are guards, pushing you roughly the whole time.
>By the time the blindfold comes off, you find yourself being forced down into a metal chair.
>The room around you seems to be an exact copy of the one you just escaped from, with the addition of another metal chair on the opposite side of the table. Not this shit again.
>Before you can begin to plan another devious escape, in walks a guard followed shortly after by a strange, tall, lanky alien in a flowing white coat.
>You haven't seen this kind of alien before. Must be another species?
>The new aliens large amphibian eyes watch you intently, before placing a strange silver box in the center of the table. The alien presses a small glowing green button on its surface, and then takes a step back.
>You can feel the guard's gaze boring into your skull. Probably not the best time to try something rash.
>You have a few options:

1)Examine the silver box further.
2)You want answers. Ask, "Why am I here?"
3)Do nothing. Whatever they want, you aren't giving it to them.

>>182517687
"Why are we still here?"

>>182517687
why am i here

>>182517687
Examine the box

>>182490567
Cute, anon. Thanks.

>>182517687
Option 2.

>>182517687
Option 4. *Unziiip*

>>182517687
Ask them why you're being held hostage, and if the femtur is alright, I guess. I assume that box is either some kind of language algorithm device, or simply a recording device, so messing with it won't help anyone.

>>182517687
This, >>182519086

What did they do to our green eyed qt

>>182475595
Fucking rolling, awesome OC.

>>182517879
>>182517883
>>182518412
>>182519086
>>182517687

>You decide its about time you got some answers. You ask, "Why am I here?"
>The tall alien, slender alien watches you speak, and then eyes the box suspiciously.
>The room remains silent.
>Annoyed, you ask again, this time a little more forceful.
>Suddenly, the silver box springs to life and begins playing something that sounds like warbled electronic screeching. This seems to catch the guards attention, who is now eyeing both you and the box suspiciously.
>It becomes immediately apparent that the silver box is some kind of translation device.
>You speak again, this time a little clearer. "What. do. you. want?"
>A momentary pause, and then the box begins chirping again.
>The guard listens for a moment, before responding in that strange, low birdsong language.
>After a moment, the box speaks up in a garbled, electronic tone. You are able to decipher the words, "An..swers. Wha..t a..are yo..ou."
>Well no shit. You wanted to ask the same thing.
>You decide to play along.
>"Human." You respond.
>The box spits out another answer, this time the delay a little shorter than before.
>The guard seems surprised at the answer, and then leans over to discretely talk to the other alien. The box isn't able to pick up their conversation.
>The guard then lays a single item down on the table. You recognize it immediately as your PHONE.
>After another brief moment, the guard says something else, which the box translates as "Wh..at is t-this..?"
>Hmm.
>You've got a few options here on how to continue:

1)Tell the truth. "It's a phone."
2)Say nothing. You've already said too much.
3)Lie. "It's a small-scale, man-portable nuclear fusion destructive device. Upon being given a certain spoken key phrase, it will detonate, vaporizing everything within 800 meters."

>>182521818
1) it's a phone
so now we know that were the first human they've seen
so that means were going to be the first human to bed a turian

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QUARIAN DLC LEAKS!! http://imgur.com/a/PhKU1

>>182521818
Although saying it is a nuke would be funny, telling the truth is the best option here. The faster you answer their questions, the faster you can get your own answers.

>>182521818
1.
If we do 3), they'll probably dump us in a shallow grave and eject the phone into a star.

>>182521818
1)

What the fuck is Option 3, this aint Mouse Who Roared, foh.

>>182521818
Tell the truth. Tell them it's a (tele)communications device. No need to lie. You're a strange alien, probably trespassing. They seem to be just curious.

>>182521818
Fuck, we the first contact now?

We arez diplomats 'n shit

>>182521981
Still clicked.

>>182522324
And no more answers until they give an update on the femtur. If she's okay, they can have all the answers they want.

>>182523130
FEM TUR WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT OUR PUSSY OPTIONS ARE BECAUSE I'M ERECT IF SHES OUT OF THE PICTURE WE MUST FIND NEW MATES TO COPULATE WITH

>>182522446
I laughed more than I should have.

>>182522446
SEXUAL DIPLOMACY
pull out our huge member in order to shame everyone to suicide before walking out with all the xeno women on our dick

>>182523223
Slow down. She was nice and friendly to a weird alien, when she didn't need to be. Stood up for us, and we got her shot. I just want to know if our friend is okay. Courting comes later.

>>182521973
>>182522179
>>182522180
>>182522208
>>182522324
>>182521818

>Honesty is always a safe bet. You decide to tell the truth.
>You explain to the aliens that the PHONE is merely a communication device. This doesn't seem to put their minds at ease, however.
>"Comm..unicate ...with w..ho?" Asks the guard. The box seems to be getting better at translating.
>"Well, no one right now." You respond honestly.
>The guard eyes you suspiciously, then shrugs. He seems to have bought it.
>The guard then asks, "How did.. you get.. here?" You notice that the translation device seems to be picking up slight affectations in the guard's voice. Its beginning to sound somewhat natural. Amazing.
>You shrug your shoulders at the guards question. You have no idea.
>The guard does what you guess is a frown, excuses himself, and then leaves the room, leaving you alone with the tall alien.
>An awkward silence fills the room as you and the tall alien stare at each other. Neither of you say a thing.
>A moment later, and the guard walks back into the room.
>Behind him, is someone you recognize.
>It's the green-eyed alien from the balcony. You feel a slight elation in your chest finally seeing something you recognize. So far, this place has been a confusing hell.
>You smile at your friend, but the alien's face remains stoic, focused on the guard in the blue armor next to them.
>You guess that they probably aren't happy about getting shot. At least, that's what you assume.
>The guard finally speaks up. "Of..ficer Cyra.. is this.. the being.. you saw on... the..bal-cony two da..ys ago?"
>Two days? Holy hell, you've been out for a while.
>The alien you assume to be Officer Cyra speaks up. "Correct."
>The officer's voice sounds low, smooth an sultry through the translation device, almost decidedly female. Quite the contrast to the guards gruff, gravelly voice.
>The guard continues, "This.. was the being you.. saw leaving... the scene?"
>The officer nods again.
>Scene? What scene?

(1/2)

>>182490567
>that embarrassment
>that duck and floaties and bucket

Cute as hell.

>>182524357
(2/2)

>You didn't like where this one was going.
>"Tell.. me.. Officer Cy..ra. Do.. you think.. this.. is.. our.. killer?"
>Killer? You mean they...
>Oh shit.
>You have a few options:

1)Attempt to explain you innocence. You'll have to be creative with this.
2)Ask Officer Cyra for help.
3)Say nothing. You don't want to incriminate yourself.

>>182524423
Thanks, anon. Glad you like my mspaint skills.

>>182475595
Why no Salarian option?

>>182524669
>look if i was the killer i wouldn't have come out ot greet you and i would of had more stuff on me

>>182524669
Ask for a lawyer.

>>182524669
4) where's my fucking lawyer

>>182524357
1) Look, I know you are trying to copy that movie with Charlie Sheen's brother where he goes into the future and they try to arrest him and shit but that plot is old and stale

I mean AM I BEING DETAINED?

>>182524669
Now I'm just confused. Why was she shot? I guess ask Cyra for help, since you have no believable alibi.

>>182524669
Ask Cyra, then ask for a fucking lawyer

Also, you should've made her a private eye, not C-SEC

>>182524669
2) Ask Cyra for help, then do >>182524854 and >>182524910 and lawyer the fuck up

>>182524669
>would a bad guy have a penis this long *unzips dick*

>>182524669
Delete Facebook, Hit the Gym, Lawyer Up.

I mean 2)

>>182524669
Ask the qt for help, and for info on what you apparently did. You can always attempt to explain yourself after you get more information, but doing so now might just incriminate you. You don't even know who/what was killed.

>>182524669
She hasn't pointed the finger at us yet. It's best to stay silent until they've charged us with something. Otherwise it's gonna look very suspicious.
I'm going 3).

>>182524669
1) For fucks sake, you have CCTV cameras everywhere and DNA forensics and still doing this shit? I am likely going to be last of my kind because of you dickheads because you are going to fry me for a crime that I couldn't have commit because I don't even know how I got here.

You useless birdfucks, I don't think I heard my rights before I got shot either.

>>182524669
>Drawfag and writefag

Too pure.

>>182524669
2, make her feel guilty for framing an innocent ayy.

>>182525346
Don't say that but, just think of it.

Hello?

>>182528362
It's me

>>182528362

Don't worry, anon.

>>182528362
He probably had to take a porcelain-cracking shit, then a shower. Give it time.

>>182524970
>>182525043
>>182525087
>>182525146
>>182525218
>>182525530
>>182524669

>You have no idea what to say. You decide to ask Officer Cyra for help.
>"Uhhh... Can you..?" You give a pleading look towards the officer.
>The officer's gaze watches you for a moment. You watch as those weird plate-like things on the side her face twitch slightly. Fascinating.
>"I will.. take it from here, Officer Acrisius" Said Cyra, giving the blue-armored alien a nod.
>"As you wish.. Officer.." replied Officer Acrisius, who then stepped out the door. The tall, lanky alien in the white coat soon followed.
>You find yourself alone in the room with Officer Cyra. You begin to feel a little more comfortable.
>"I.. honestly didn't do it. I have no idea what the other officer is talking about." You blurt out, as Officer Cyra takes a seat across from you.
>Cyra puts her arms onto the table, before leaning forward slightly. Her sharp cat-like eyes watch you intently.
>"That's what they all say." She said smoothly, "But... this time I'm somewhat inclined to believe you." As she finished her sentence, she clicked one of her movable-face-things against the side of her face. Interesting. You chalked it up to being the alien equivalent of a wink.
>"Well.. uh, thank you... Officer Cyra." You reply.
>"Please," replied Cyra, letting out a strange sing-songy laugh, "It's Detective Cyra."
>"Detective?"
>"I quit C-SEC a while ago." she continued, "To shorten a long story, Officer Acrisius and I were friends back in my Academy days. I think he just likes to remind me of my.. ah.. 'humble beginnings' as he would put it."
>C-SEC? You assumed it was the name of the local police force. You would have to ask Detective Cyra about that later.
>You nodded. This seemed to be going well.
>"Anyway.. I assume you have lots of questions."
>You nodded you head again. Indeed you did.
>You have a few options:

1)"Why did they shoot you?"
2)"Why am I being framed for murder?"
3)"Can I shake your hand again?"

>>182529032
"Why would you shoot a man before throwing him off a plane?"

(2)

>>182528362
>>182528429
Sorry about the delay. Doing a little story boarding so shit doesn't get too confusing.

>>182528676
Get out of my house.

>>182524947
I honestly have no idea what movie you're talking about. I'll admit it's pretty generic so far, but cut me some slack, I'm pretty much making this up as I go. Hopefully it will get more interesting later.

>>182529032
2. The moment she asks you a question, lawyer the fuck up.

>>182529032
2 and then lawyer the fuck up.

>>182529032
Either 1 or Do you feel in charge?

>>182529032
Option 2, obviously start with the most important question.

Casual lurker here.

Is there an active archive of this little adventure. I only read the handshake part and the escape and I want to keep up.

>>182529231
I think you're doing a decent job with it. If you need to take a break, don't let the other fags rush you. I'll take good quality over rushed stuff.

>>182529923
Did you read the very beginning that involved waking up? It wasn't too far off from the handshaking.

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>>182530180
Just the handshake. Should I start digging through the old threads, then?

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>>182530281
Does this fix your problem? This is the beginning.
Don't bully my bad photoshop skills.

>>182530518
Thanks, anon. <3

>>182529032
2), 3rd option isn't forward enough for my taste I want to hug_ her

>>182529182
>>182529356
>>182529507
>>182529712
>>182529032

>You decide to ask the most pressing question first, why you were being framed for murder.
>"So.. can you explain why I'm being framed for murder exactly?"
>The Detective pauses for a moment, her green eyes search your face.
>"I suppose I can. Just the basics, however. The investigation's still ongoing."
>The Detective pauses again, tapping a sharp talon against her chin, and then says, "We've had a mysterious string of deaths in the past few weeks. Last one was roughly two days ago. You were the only person to be seen even remotely near the location of the victim's death."
>"Seen? By who?" You can't help but ask, the curiosity was killing you.
>"Well, by me, of course." Replied Cyra with a dip of her head.
>"...And you think I did it." You respond.
>"Not exactly."
>"I recall you said something about the last one being two days ago? When did the previous deaths occur?"
>"Roughly five and seven days ago."
>"Well then there's no way I did it, I only just arrived two days ago!"
>"Hmm." The Detective thought for a moment. "Can you prove that?"
>You bite your tongue. You can't. Fuck.
>The Detective notices you predicament, and then sighs. "Is there anything else you want to ask me?"
>You realize you're going to have to be careful with your questions in the future, and hope that wherever you are, there's good alien public defendants.
>You still have a few options:

1)"Can you tell me more about these deaths?"
2)"Why did you get shot, exactly?"
3)"Where am I? What is this place?"
4)"What is 'C-SEC'?"

>>182532441
2 and then 3.

>>182532441
3. You'd like to know where you are, considering you have no idea how you got there.

>>182532441
3, then 2

>>182532441
3 and then 2

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>>182475595

>>182532441
I was going to say check your phone for photos in the last 7 days but it is not like EXIF is going to mean shit to them

>>182532441
Ask her why she got shot and if she's alright. Gotta show that you're charismatic.

>>182532441

>>182533098 knows what he is talking about, we have to charm the femtur

>>182533054
>EXIF is going to mean shit to them
Why not? Obviously they're technologically advanced. Why wouldn't they understand the concept behind embedded time and location data?

>>182533272
You can edit EXIF data, dummy

>>182532717
>>182532760
>>182532861
>>182532929
>>182533054 Interesting idea.
>>182533098
>>182533187
Ding! Your progress has been saved.

Going to take a break for now, the adventure will hopefully continue tomorrow. inb4 femtur lawyer crossover episode.

Thanks for playing along, anons. Hope you guys are enjoying it so far.

>>182532441
2, then 3. I want her to know I care, and feel bad she got hurt defending me.

Also, can't they go into my phone and check location data, anything that would prove I was on, I dunno, Earth a week ago? Pictures, social media accounts? If that means anything to them. Show them any picture I'm in with primitive cars in the background, drudge up some reasonable doubt that I'm an abducted ayy.

>>182533015
You lucky sonuvabitch. That's nearly perfect.

>"LOOTING IS BAD"
Jesus fuck Ryder, just shut up.

>>182534051
i still don't know why that encounter was even in the game other than to make you feel like a bitch.

>>182533529
Good job anon, this one was great. Interested in how it goes in the future, keep it up.

http://orig02.deviantart.net/dcd4/f/2017/191/7/3/want_to_join_me__commander__by_barbdbarb-dbfrsw0.jpg

>>182535705
I bet she can breathe underwater with her vagina.
If she has one, after all she's a fish

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>an asari is repairing a wind farm
>help her and fix this thing with an omni-tool
>"what now, do you want a medal? fuck off and don't show off"
I can't even express how much I hate this piss pool called Kadara.

https://youtu.be/kai60rnAMxs

O-kay...

>>182536258
>helping asari

>>182536438
Never again. At least on Kadara. One is making drugs, another is planning to blow up Nexus. Fucking whores.

>>182536258
>go to the planet of self-centered criminals and deranged psychopaths
>expect nice people
I mean...

>>182536395
IVe been wondering this. Why specifically did Cora's romance get the most impressive instance of good animation quality compared the entire game? Is she their favorite character or something? Because she's boring her trope "Incredibly Strong Biotic" had been done before

>>182536535
It's not like I'm against it, it's easy to make business with Sloane, for example, but jesus fuck, sometimes this is too much to let it go. Like with looting is bad shit.

>>182536627
Gee anon, i suppose you played other ME's, she's not favourite but she's high in the ranking. After all she's almost asari, and God - Mac loves asari.

>>182536627
It was outsourced.

>>182536685
Yeah well matter of fact you shouldn't blame Kadara but game devs. But we've been there months ago, nothing new to discuss in that matter really.

>>182536395
This is probably the one thing that annoyed me the most throughout the entire game. I hate blatant favoritism

>>182536762
That's the thing. I want to know why. Why only Cora? I'd understand if they wanted to do that with every other romance scene but they only did Cora's. If it was a budget issues, they should've just dropped Cora's being so good because it makes the rest of the game look terrible by comparisons. Her sex scene alone is a huge "what if?" for the game and is really disappointing

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We're almost done

>>182539090
Where is this?

>>182539572
Illium, it's the thane recruitment mission when you can push that eclipse merc out with the window

>>182539572
It's that big Remnant station with the genetic samples and shit.

>>182539090
>Using Drack and Vetra
Best squad.

Guess it's that time again
Dead

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>>182543350
>Dead

Not yet

>>182539706
>Drack, Vetra and Ryder
>Ilium
Are you trying to trick me? The background does look reminiscent of that, though.

Is there going to be that asari ark coming dlc or was this game so big flop that they aren't doing anything for it anymore?

>>182546704
Bioware's current policy on that is "no comment". Under strict EA NDA it seems and they can't talk about it, or are instructed to not give a straight answer, because it is negative and that would piss off the fanbase immensely. Better to sweep it under the run in that case.

>>182546704
We got a bit of info, though. I've dumped it here for convenience: https://pastebin.com/LsF4qAyE

>>182547554
It's too obvious. You're burning out man

our boy Yong finally saw the light!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kai60rnAMxs

Cora, the best girl by far

>>182552043
It was already posted >>182536395 just a few hours ago, you dumb grannyfag.

>>182553013
Jealous birdfag BTFO

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>>182552043
>tfw Cora doesn't look like this

>>182553159
Yeah, well you're right.

>>182553328

That's worse, though.

>>182555142
those wood hardening hips...

>>182553328
Cora, christy mack edition

>>182555142
How can you like a head that fucking square and a haircut that fucking disgusting

>>182557610
After War machine

>>182475595
roll

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i just want a DLC damn it

>>182559684
>wanting a DLC

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>>182561086
yes, i do, have a problem with that?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2osrQ5Z0Ts

stop fucking with my emotions bioware

their could have been so many cool squad mates but instead we get liam
fuck liam

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Give me a soldier sally!

>>182561619
Every fucking time I think it's finally the dlc.

>>182561619
>that dislike bar
>those comments bitching for DLC news

kek

you know i was thinking
maybe it would have been better to get injured the during first contact since it's easier to escape from a hospital then it is a c sec prison

>>182564779
>Screw the free trial. When can I PAY for new, story DLC? Come on.
fucking biodrones

>>182565743
>stop liking the things I don't like

>>182565743
>People screaming at EA to take their money
>EA won't go for it

What did Electronic Arts mean by this?

>>182567627
It's dead, Jim.

>>182567069
What are you saying? There's nothing to like or dislike about the DLC itself because it isn't even announced.

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>mass effect has become a commercial flop.

Truly the worst timeline

>>182568756
I wish this series stopped at ME1

>>182568712
I thought they announced that singleplayer dlc wasn't happening

http://i.imgur.com/nJ3sbL3.jpg

>>182569512
They haven't announced shit. It's always the same "we can't talk about future content."

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BAD FIC ANON HOLY SHIT WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE
4 fics right now
first one up is not that bad but the idea is fucking stupid

>>182568756
this is bullshit, don't quarians receive their first suit when they become teenagers ?

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next one up isn't as bad as the next two but it's up there
it's just people can't get into the lore

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hope you liked gay 3 somes involving a male shep scooter and garrus

hope you like jane having a sister and that sister getting pregnant with garrus child