/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station general

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>Counterfeit knock off low quality HARD HITTINGS
Accept no substitutes!

HARD HITTING EDITORIALS
ONLY ON /SS13G/

>some incredible autiste wrote a brutal poem for Digitalis' feedback page
http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=43&p=19119#p19119

A poem for you Digitalis, from your good friend Nipples:

Space law is perfect
at least for muh valids
I am safe from the bwoink
find out how, listen to my ballad.

I arrest the dandelion
for growing without a permit
no one is safe
from the JUSTICE I commit

so when I see the clown
run an obvious prank
I open the red book
so he can walk the plank

And oh joy have I read!
A law called grand theft
with a stretch of imagination,
I get to send him to his death!

but wait there's more!
as the crew would abhor
I'm forcing the AI
to crush him with a door

somehow he made it
and I'm so mad
but the Russians invaded!
Sokolov and Vlad!

A man rescues me but hes in a white coat
he was in on it too
Another valid I smote.

Now people are mad
and want me banned
what did I do?
I'm the one in command!

Ill shoot them all!
Im the one in charge!
soon the station will only have me!
and my ego, so enlarged

help me badmins
help me fuck this serb
for I am being griefed
because I am absurd.

end.

Threadly reminder that if you have any ideas for xenoarch artifact triggers reply here or post in the PR, I'll try to get to them tommorow.

https://github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/14448

>>172292085
Asks for random items from a list out loud in order to activate, perhaps in a static but non-Common language
So it asks for, like, a socket wrench, then activates. Then it asks for a sugar cookie, and so on.
A set list so nothing too ridiculous.

>>172292038
That's from the clown he executed

>>172292085
activates when there is a minimum amount of ckeys nearby

>>172292085
People hugging within sight.

>>172292085
when sprayed
when haunted
when next to a corgi

>>172292085
only activates when a lazy miner smashes directly into it with a ddrill

only activates when next to another large

>>172292915
I would love if there were an artifact that popped out of rocks even if ddrilled and then immediately activated ten times in a row
Diddle the miners once in a while

That was a very fun game of chess, 10/10 round fuck cults.

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Fun game! I thought for sure you had me a few times there. Glad we got to finish before the shuttle.

cult is like 20 people who all have their hands in a desktop pc case trying to aseemble a computer, when only 1 of them actually knows what they're doing

>>172293949
*assemble
I swear, playing ss13 makes me misspell words that I don't usually mistype

>>172293653
I fucked up hard 3 times during the game, and at the very beginning trying to make a move I realized too late I forgot how to do. It's been years I've had a decent opponent, looks like I became shit and too confident just playing my normie friends. Very fun game man, unironically fired up my neurons trying to get back from this stupid queen loss.

>>172292085
Would the artifact asking a riddle or two be too dumb/not relevant to this PR?

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>>172292085
when someone uses a bike horn
when someone farts
when someone sleeps

>>172294670
All requested so far

>>172292085
when someone says meme9000 or boombox

someone help me with a problem in the TEG

plasma and o2 tanks empty in less than a good minute, otherwise it burns and produces at least 20kw of energy. are mistakes being made?

>>172295034
The only mistake here is you

>love the aliens universe
>CM code is decent and the gameplay is pretty fun
>playerbase is underaged cancer and so are the admins
>host refuses to opensource the code because it will ruin their little powertripping fiefdom

>love the fallout universe
>fallout 13 code is pretty shitty, and the playerbase is about 50% decent, and 50% shitty ERP fags there for the ERP

Why can't we just have nice things? Although I did enjoy getting the old CM headmin dedminned for repeatedly reviving himself. When I made a big deal about it on the forums he claimed to be in a bad mood because he was "on a patrol in Iraq with his PMC that day and his buddy got shot". 90% of the playerbase believed that their headmin had enough time to be on ss13 for 8 hours a day while also fighting ISIS

>>172295972
>he doesn't relax with some ss13 after a nice day of shooting dune coons

are wizards spell books one time use or something?
because always when I use a spellbook that someone already used I get hit by spell from that book or I lose limbs and stuff

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>>172296753
>hey sir I gotta head back to the FOB, I know we're on patrol but I need to use the shitty wifi to administrate an online Aliens server using heavily modified code from a 2d atmosphere simulator on byond.

>>172296753
This.
He's IRL validhunting.

>yet another round where people order a shit ton of energy guns then ignore the mechanic yelling at them to bring them to get upgraded
>yet another round where the blob whens

Why do I even bother? This is how it goes every single time. I either print off a ton of modkits that never get used because people run off with unupgraded guns, or people bring guns but I can only print a handful because the miners aren't paying attention to the chat to notice there's a blob.

>>172295034
really need to know this

Great round

>>172298235
>shitty AEGs
No thanks.

>blob is always unwinnable
>people just accept this and say it's a perfectly fine gamemode
>this is the norm for the entire server population
when does the meme end

>>172298235
now is blob that op or was that some adminbuse

How hard did blob get buffed? I think the last time I played steadily was 2015, and back then blobs rarely won unless they chose a decent starting spot and remained secret long enough to build up resources. Now they seem to expand fast as fuck.

>>172298235
Miners ignore common a lot
You can use :n to talk to them, since their supply headset picks up both :u and :n
If you were doing that already then, shucks

>>172298235
>yet another round where the blob whens
I wish that I could when.
How do you when at life?

>>172298309
Space isn't always about winning.

>>172298330
No bus was done to help the blob. Might actually look into nerfing the base resource generation eventually.

>>172298309
You need over thirty people in full on readyup validhunt mode to actually stand a chance. Otherwise it's just faceroll: the antagonist.

>>172298294
>auto recharge

>>172298330
It's not really OP. It needs teamwork to beat and people aren't good at that.

>>172298394
By being salty and tired at the same time.

>>172298445
Scaling starting resource generation depending on number of crewmembers is what we truly need

>>172298595
FUCK YOU

>>172298595
FUCK YOU DUNY

>>172298595
FUCK YEAH

>>172298595
DUCK YOU FUNY

Someone just needs to change blob speed back to what it was before the blob could spread three tiles and attack you in one rendering frame

>>172298595
FUNY RUNY DUNY

>>172298235
I yelled on common that I had the uranium numbnuts

>>172300953
my experience with mining
>scientist: "hey, could you get us some glass?"
>me: "sure, how much glass?"
>scientist: [no response]

>>172301109
The correct answer is all the glass. Come back with two fat stacks at least.

>>172301109
That's when you bring back exactly one sheet of glass

>>172301109
can confirm this is usually how it goes

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>>172291707
What are you gonna do about it nerd?

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>>172302773
I said stop it, god damnit.

>>172301409
>not glass shard
meh

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>>172295972
>CM code is decent

>>172302773
The hell are you supposed to grief when everything is nerfed to shit now a days? I'D KILL SOMEONE, IN REAL LIFE, TO HAVE THE BOMB CAP LIFTED LIKE OLD DAYS

https://pastebin.com/Bs3L20wg

Enjoy.

>>172304996
>https://pastebin.com/Bs3L20wg

WHERE"S THE FUCKIN

>>172304996
WHOOPS I FORGOT TO CORRECT SHOWN TO BE SHONE

MY BAD

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>>172304996
>https://pastebin.com/Bs3L20wg

kys my man

the green haired devil...

>>172304047
Six 7-devs will absolutely destroy the station what are you talking about

Should I bother making odysseuses ?

>>172308572
Or you can make one giant bomb

>>172308724
Yeah, but if you're just looking to griff, that's still there

>>172308860
>7 dev

Nigger, I want to insert a station ending voice activated bomb into my ass. I cannot do that with a 7dev.

>>172309071
Then insert six station ending voice activated bombs into six different asses

WHAT DID ALL YOU GHOSTS WANT FROM ME

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

>>172308702
Sell me on the idea, I'm a doctor
why would I use it?

>>172309501
Who were you?

>>172309510
You can use it to replicate honey, peridaxon, and rezadone

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Thanks for returning me to my core from an intellicard at ZERO INTEGRITY and leaving me at zero integrity in my core for two hours without restoring me. Still dead at the end. I did not suicide, I did not AFK, I was sitting there in my core dead for two fucking hours.

>>172309547
The CMO. I swear I got spooked 4-5 times one after another but I cannot even begin guess why. That, and you guys were terrible at leading me around. I couldn't tell if you guys were goofing around (which is fun) or trying to get me to do something and I didn't understand.

>>172309645
1. You are NOT to use any information learned while dead if you get brought back to life, no matter the method by which you get revived. Likewise, don't come up with some scheme to tell living people things while dead, or for dead people to tell you things while you're alive.

>>172309645
see
>>172309601

>>172309601
A sec officer wordlessly handed me an intellicard. I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker! I don't know how these things work! But for real, I'll read up on how to care for AIs for next time. We didn't have any science that shift, either, so it was me trying and failing or nothing at all.

>>172309735

It was me, the AI you left dead for two hours, you know, the one at zero integrity sitting in the intellicard in your pocket that you just stuck back into its core dead at zero integrity and left there dead for two hours?

>>172309735
>while dead
But I was alive! What's the actual ruling on using information from people spooking you or flicking lights?

>>172309510
It can also have two mounted sleepers for paramadeics and is pretty fucking fast.
I think it also synthethize any chem it scans (and reinject it for free).

>>172309590
oh shit, can I replace nanobots?

>>172309816
or for dead people to tell you things while you're alive.

Harsetheef was the AI

>>172309874
replicate, I mean.

>>172309874
isn't 5u minimal injection, and that's overdose for nanobots?

>>172309945
I believe they're the only exception to the replication, and this was recently removed because too many people were powergaming the nanomachines. correct me if I'm wrong though.

>>172309916
Turns out, you are correct! Ghosts spooking you or messing with the lights is OOC information.

>>172310179
Whenever I do A+ clownin ghosts spook/hit the lights, I assume for lols

>>172309916

wasn't guiding them, nothing to guide them to given that I am sitting in their pocket. Mostly ragespooking at being left dead for two hours in a case where there were really zero excuses other than incompetence and apathy.

>>172310179
At the same time, things like "whoops the chair in the lobby in spinning again and on an unrrlated note, I'm going to check the CMC and morgue" are ignored because it's just how people play and it's been a part of the game for so long now

What's the easiest way to get bananium ?
Send the clown in a space pod and hope for the best ?

>>172312686
Go into telesci with a CMC and a corpse and see what you can do

>>172312836
What's a CMC ?

>>172312686
The easiest way is Xenobiology, though it's a bit time consuming.

>>172312897
Crew Monitoring Console. There are clown corpses on the clown asteroid with jumpsuits on.

>>172312897
Crew Monitoring Console but I actually mean a corpse with sensors you brought yourself
Alternatively, a posibrain maybe?

Why, when there is no active Captain, is the next in line the HoP, when his job is just being the stations pencil pushing HR? Surely it should go to the most qualified on station second, the HoS.
Sure he doesn't start with the roundstart access but a good HoP, if they exist at the same time, should grant him the position.
Maybe I'm picturing the inner workings of a space station too differently to everyone else, but the HoP should be the lowest priority Head, not the second highest.

>>172314920
HoP has the easiest access for one, also doesn't have much to do outside of access changes and such. HoS is going to be busy with security things, CE with power, CMO with medbay, Hop just has less to worry about

>>172314920
>capcurity
please sir no

>>172312686
Steal/Rush R&D for a CMC
Steal Robotics posibrain/a monkeyman + jumpsuit
Throw either into the uncalibrated teleporter to 170,50,3
See where they hit, adjust and calibrate accordingly and then dive in.
Hope you have someone to bring you back, if not set up a signaller + speaker set up which screams on comms to teleport your location.

>>172314920
>shitcurity thinks he's relevant
Do you really think that the captain's only mission is to handle security matters ? He oversees the whole crew and makes sure that the station is running smoothly. A HoS isn't qualified to handle that shit, but the HoP is.

>>172315052
>implying HoPs don't go HoPcurity all the time
See Digitalis for recent examples, this is nothing new.
>>172315042
>>172315176
Security of the station takes presidence over everything else, no? The Captains job is an overseer position, to make sure everything is running and everyone is safe. The HoP is just his overglorified secretary to me. He just does the grunt work the Captain doesn't want to do. He should be making sure all the departments are adequately filled, making sure things like Cargo are actually delivering crates, that Science and Mining and the whole Service department are co-operating. But in our server climate everyone just plays them as Captain-lite. Either never leaving their office or playing HoPcurity and never being at their office for these things when they're needed.

>>172315515
It's nothing new, but shockingly HoPcurity is also looked poorly on (where as HoScurity is just expected)

>>172315515
Well then you just have a shitty interpretation of chain of command, we can't fix that

>>172315515
Security takes presidence if and when the station is under threat.
So, unless there is a confirmed threat, HoP assumes the Captain's place.

>>172315743
HOP THERE IS A MASS LUBER ON THE STATION GIVE ME ALL ACCESS

it's alien

>>172315515
Also I forgot to say: A good Captain is a person who can roll out the correct overseers to each department. He shouldn't be micromanaging every little detail, he should be managing and communicating with as few people as many who he has dividended these tasks off to. IE, the other heads of staff. If there are none on the manifest, it's his job to pick them. The HoP should just be his "Yes Mister Captain sir, right away!" and do the things required to make that happen.
A HoS is no less qualified to make those decisions. He might make them more based on a security standpoint, selecting people he trusts or inserting his own men to oversee a department rather than the qualified best, but his leadership is better than someone who just presses buttons on the ID changer all shift.
>>172315730
What's so shitty about it? Care to explain? I just want to know why the HoP is so highly regarded.

>misbehave rather severely all round
>round has been delayed
>oh shit oh shit oh shit
>nothing happens
>check logs
>digitalis was even worse and had all the admin;s agro
thanks for making us all look good

>>172316005
People already told you why the HoP is next in line, he has more relevant experience, is easier to appoint and is less likely to lead to the HoS playing out his power fantasies.Your opinions seem to be based around downplaying the HoP while heralding the HoS as the single most important job on the station, as if the station has no other functions.

Who does Digitalis static as again? I wasn't playing that round.

>>172316242
This.

>>172316362
mascaro

>>172316428
Anyone else? I thought he had a trader static too.

>>172316189
>digitalis, shitter supreme, had the nerve to complain about another player all day yesterday
>threw a huge shitfit

>>172316459
wunderbar, most of his bad behavior is with his human static though
he's a pretty good trader

>>172316242
But HOW does the HoP have more relevent skill? I don't understand electing a glorified secretary over a commanding officer. Sure it's "easier to appoint", but is it really that hard to take whoever is elected a new ID card straight to them in their department? I straight up think you're wrong about the power-play fantasies. A HoP is way more likely to grab the captains gun and armor and run around screaming "LOOK AT ME I'M THE BIG MAN" than a good HoS who already gets fun toys. Any other head would be a better Captain than a HoP.
You misunderstand me if you think I'm saying the HoS is the most important role. I'm putting across that the Captain is, and that the person acting in his position should be someone more fitting. I've outlined in my posts what I view the HoPs job should be, I don't think I need to outline the other heads of staff because they are as straightforward as they look.

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I want to have more fun in this game but it seems like the more i play the more i learn i know nothing about this game and how it works, janitor was absolutely boring i basically scooted around on my janicart cleaning stuff and never getting beyond that, when i tried the geneticist i just got killed in 2 secs flat, no time to react they guy just ran in next to me and i collapsed outright and he dragged me into the vents, i dunno guys, this seems like a really amazing game when ive managed to catch half of whats going on in the station when shit hits the fan but im just not getting a good experience, ive read the guides but i still know nearly nothing and Im being raped by more experienced players before i get a good chance to experiment so im not sure if its possible for new players to get into this unless they are masochists.

>>172316698
Heads of Personnel that remember that they're just paper pushers do good.
Heads of Security are violent by nature.

In the absence of a captain, IAAs should be tasked with conducting an election for one instead of it devolving automatically to the HoP/HoS

>>172316803
>picks the easiest job on the station
>wah this is too boring
>picks one of the most autistic/advanced jobs on the station
>wah I got raped

>>172316803
try robotocist and cargo tech

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>>172316803
Janitor / cargotech is about learning the basics and simple job-doing. You can get some giggles from slipping people.

Geneticist is for masochists, it's like an excel simulator but worse.

Try engineering, or security, or one of the service departmetns, or god forbid ASSISTANT.

Build something, like a rage cage. Do something interesting. Interact with some people. Set goals for yourself, like figuring out the favorite color of 5 crewmembers or stealing ten pairs of shoes.

Or become a robust validhunter.
Game's what you make of it, newbie.

>>172316698
I told you how people already accept this to be. You can accept it, or you can keep on baiting for (you)s here with your self centered view of security.

>>172316895
>explains doesnt know game
>point out doesnt know game

pottery

>>172316995
assistant is the best job as it's the most well equipped to overthrow the shitsec tyrants, while heroic clowns lead the charge

greytide stationwide

>>172316995
Clown is for the truly pro player

>>172316995
Ill try cargo next

>>172316478
>[18:39:48]ADMIN: PM: Digitalis/(Mascaro Brown)->Errant_Aron/(Test Dummy): I mean if someone came up to me, disarmed me, took my shoes off and then two seconds later dropped them in front of me I wouldn't see it that much as a joke.

>>172316803
>when i tried the geneticist i just got killed in 2 secs flat, no time to react they guy just ran in next to me and i collapsed outright and he dragged me into the vents
sounds like you got chloraled by a ling which happens from time to time
you can't really prevent it without some retarded chem powergaming
geneticist is an awful role btw, don't play it

if you want to start become robust, start by learning how to misbehave as an assistant
try stealing the gold crate from the vault undetected

>>172317305
what a humourless faggot
take his shoes

>>172317036
You haven't said anything? Just repeated yourself twice now. I countered the points you brought up and now you're dodging.
A HoP is just a pencil-pusher, like >>172316824 said. He shouldn't have any greater authority unless it really comes down to it, with him being the only head of staff on the station. Until then he should pass Captaincy off to the other heads. The other heads are supposed to be trained leaders in their field and they can apply their leadership qualities to help run a station. The HoP is just a desk clerk, in charge of recruiting people and doing what his superior says. Just because he as access to the tools to give himself le spicy all access meme doesn't mean he should.
You should work on your reading comprehension because I've said twice it isn't about security at all. I don't and will never play security, it doesn't interest me in the slightest.

>>172317410
>The HoP is just a desk clerk, in charge of recruiting people and doing what his superior says
ostensibly the HOP is the head of the civilian and cargo departments

>>172317410
>He shouldn't have any greater authority unless it really comes down to it, with him being the only head of staff on the station. Until then he should pass Captaincy off to the other heads. The other heads are supposed to be trained leaders in their field and they can apply their leadership qualities to help run a station. The HoP is just a desk clerk, in charge of recruiting people and doing what his superior says. Just because he as access to the tools to give himself le spicy all access meme doesn't mean he should.
Okay, seems like you've gone full retard.
HoP is in charge of personnel. He's in charge of the service departments, cargo, access changes, recruiting new staff and demoting old staff.
He's the 2IC of the station. The captain's right hand man. There's a reason he gets a gun.
HoS shouldn't be the captain because he's got his officers and the security of the station to worry about. RD shouldn't be the captain because he's got his gun/bomb-crazy terrorists and the AI to worry about. CE shouldn't be the captain because he's got his singularity fodder and station repairs to worry about.
HoP does the same thing the captain should do - stay near the bridge, and oversee the station.

Now, in absence of a HoP, sure, any other head should pick up the role, but if there's a HoP and no cap, he's the prime target.

>>172316803
I started playing about a week ago. Started Janny. I essentially put my efforts into knowing the areas of the station, getting to know Maintainence, and hacking doors as well as just doing my job. I recently got to know Bartending and Botany basics. I was mechanic last and it was pretty fun looking for machines to scan and shit to fix. Tried to get to know wiring by fixing up a ghetto bar but couldn't quite. Hoping to get more versed in R&D/Engineering shit. Also need to get robust cuz I got my shit handed to me in that one Chapel Fight Club. Read the Wiki. This game is real fun with patience.

>>172316995
Went assistant one round and simply asked the bartender if he wanted help. Taught me how to make some high quality ethanol before taking his own life. I think being assistant is actually pretty useful if you act like an assistant.

You are an honorable luchador, being pursued by sec for going too far in the rage cage on the clown. A security officer is chasing you down, with intent to kill. Do you fight him with your bare hands and risk your life, or steal his baton and hit him for an easy victory?

>>172317662
Assistant is the lowest difficulty role, and the highest difficulty role. You get FULL FREEDOM. No duties. Sec is suspicious of you, but that's it.

Assistants that actually want to assist are rare as hell, and usually appreciated by certain high-tensity departments.

>>172317065
>try greytiding
>electrocuted by door
>go to doctor
>he mindbreaks me
>he's brigged
>get healed
>die from electrocution
>next round
>electrocute myself on a door again
>get dragged into a vent and strangled
How2play

>>172317762
Why would I need a weapon to beat the sec officer when I'm already armed with abs of steel and iron pecs?

>>172317762
your in deep shit either way, so you might as well play to win

>stun, fart
>dip into maint
>get a disguise
>nick an ID from medbay
>continue rage cageing as new identity

>>172317890
GET SOME FUCKEN GLOBES, NOT BUDGET ONES YOU MONGOLOID
SUIT SENSORS ON
ASK SOME PROFESSIONAL SHITTER FOR TEST WIRE
GIT GUD

>>172317890
you can ask any yellow gloved greyshit, mechanic, or trader what the test wires are

>>172318010
Globes eh?

>>172317762
Sprint to the holodeck, put on the gloves.

I miss Deep Danger.

>>172317890
Go to dorms, steal the ointment, hack doors with a MULTITOOL NOT WIRECUTTERS YOU NIGGER, salve yourself if you get shocked.
Hacking works like this:
Open panel
Pulse wires starting from the bottom or the top
If the test light changes, you're good, close the panel (or continue for the bolt wire).
If you get shocked, fuck off and find a different door to play with, since that door'll be shocked for 30 seconds.

If you join mid-round, rip up a floor tile near an APC and use a multitool on the cable. If there's more than, like, 12000W in the net don't play with doors lest you want to get fried.

A real assistant finds ways to get insulated gloves. There's some in aux cyborg charging, you can get one from putting a coin in the engineering vending machine, small chance of them spawning in yellow toolboxes, or buy a crate from cargo...

>>172318081
which cargo crate has GLUBS?

>>172318075
insulated gloves
you can order them from cargo in the Electrical Maint crate if you are too unrobust to scrounge a pair (there are a couple pairs that can be easily scrounged)

>>172318081
there's a pair in aux tool storage also, mechanics office spawns with multiple pairs and they'll usually give you them for free.

engineering has loads but you won't get them unless you break in

>>172318141
Electrical maintenance. Mechanical maintenance crates come with loaded toolbelts.

>>172318187
>there's a pair in aux tool storage also
What. Aren't those budget? Or do you mean the coin one?

>>172318187
Oh I forgot, there's also a pair in the room behind tcomms, you can break in from maintenance and knick them easy

>>172318156
Isn't globe insulation a major environmental issue?

>>172318081
a*x c****g g**v**
SHHHH

jusk ask med for some latex globes if you can't find any insulated ones
also they have a chance to spawn in yellow boxes I think, so it's worth checking those

>>172318305
yes, you need glubs to prevent glubal warming when the mammis wire a niggawatt into the grid for those sweet carbon valids

>>172318250
Ah I meant secure tool storage

>murderbone
>FUCK OFF, GITANTIC FAGGOT, KILL YOURSELF
>stealth
>FUCK OFF, DIDNT ADD ANYTHING TO THE ROUND, DID YOU EVEN MEMETEXT? KILL YOURSELF
>some gimmick
>DESERVED TO BE VALIDHUNTED, FUCKING UNROBUST TARD, WE ARE NOT BAY, KILL YOURSELF
How do you Antag without generating salt?

>>172320549
you don't, everyone is a raging homosexual and there's no point ever attempting to please anyone

>>172320549
follow ure dreams

>>172320549
if you exclusively murderbone shitters, deadchat will notice and root for you

>>172308702
Now that you can't cyber horror with it, no

One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

>>172308702
nah ive done it plenty of times and medbay never uses it. sure you can synth mats but since medbay largely runs on magic to begin with you dont need to

>>172309874
apparently those were greylisted on it

>>172320549
its literally the point to antagonize people

>>172320549
>antagonize people
>by not doing anything as antag so you waste their antag rolls
this is the ultimate antagonizing

>>172322056
Aka the Souhei method

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>>172322350

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>>172322350
apparently kind of normie

>Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 62 of 200
>Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 133 of 200
>You are very likely neurotypical

>>172320549
The only winning move is not to play.

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>>172322350
Rly got me thinking

Emagged shuttle is the best way to cuck someone

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will he ever return?

>>172324262
Nukes name rule change scared him off for good.

>>172324337
what rule is that?

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>>172322350
I enjoy atmos and medbay

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>>172322350
Maybe that's why everyone I love leaves me desu.

>>172325087
Shiggy go home

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>>172325172
Shiggy left the people that loved him and went after a waifu.

Our cases are completely the opposite.

>>172325087
i don't understand but i hope things get better for you anon

>>172324337
The rule precedes me. Furbeh is one of my fave people here and I'm fairly certain he considers me a bud as well

If not... Well... Phew I made a bad call

>>172325564
You've made an uncountable amount of bad calls

>>172322350
I didn't save the image, but got mostly neurotypical
Which is weird because I'm actually professionally diagnosed as being "probably" on the autism spectrum
I suspect this test may be full of shit

>>172325789
what score? Like you said yourself, autism is a spectrum and you can be anywhere on it. "mostly neurotypical" means somewhat neurodiverse, and if you're neurodiverse in the right places you might be considered autistic

>>172326076
Honestly I don't remember exactly
I think it was like 60-something to low-to-mid 100-something

>>172326076
>>172326162
Apparently it was still there when I reopened the tab
66-139
Fuck posting an image with a phone though

>>172325668
If you do the most shit out of anyone, then it makes sense you do the most bad shit of anyone.

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>>172326301
people call me autistic all the time and this is what i got. even IRL i've been called it. 39/200 neurodiverse 174/200 neurotypical.
autism is a weird thing.

>want to become the Miami Mutilator
>never roll antag as det because of the loyalty implants

what do?

>>172327196
trade in your pomf coins
alternative spawn as assistant and get a job change round after round

>>172327196
Roll assistant and do it as a journalist instead. Report each and every murder on the newscaster.

>>172327334
Journalist is actually one of the alt librarian titles.

>>172327264
>alternative spawn as assistant and get a job change round after round
god, that sounds like hell, especially on lowpop

>>172327334
>Report each and every murder on the newscaster.
I tried this once as a mime. My gimmick failed because no one checks the newscaster. If people were checking it, they sure as weren't saying anything about it over common, and sec didn't mention it when they arrested me.

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>>172322350
How did i do?

>>172327557
are you texas?

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>>172322350
I don't know if i did good or bad
(i actually have aspergers syndrome though.)

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>>172322350
>124 questions to tell me what state I am

fuck right off

>>172328416
Come on do it.
This guy says i am Texas.>>172327639

>>172304996
What is this? Did you write this?

>>172327646
Bad news, anon
You have forward head posture

>>172329078
Oh god i wasn't ready for the truth

>>172323847
how do we have one man who is texas when this man is the entire north american continent

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166 neurodiverse and 160 neurotypical, got diagnosed by a professional for burgers

>>172329396
jesus fucking christ

>>172329396
Minmaxing only works in games, anon

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>>172327557

>>172329729
Im a natural born powergamer anon, I just cant help it.

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>>172328710
LOUISIANA

>>172327557
>>172329854
is this two different people who both got texas as their result? crazy.

>>172322350
I couldnt do this quiz because the answers bugged me.
>are you good at team work
>never, a little, a lot

>>172330080
Nah just the full screenshot with the numbers above.

>>172328915
Yeah, duh, I wrote it last night.

>>172330327
I don't understand if maybe it's a meme because you haven't gotten any replies, but I'll shoot
It's really good

>>172330413
It's probably because I'm the most hated player on this server, but thank you.

>>172330532
Well, who are you?
The writing's pretty enjoyable (maybe a bit too meandering) and it actually has pacing. And it's actually DONE. That's more than I can say about my writefaggotry

>>172330532
Hi avada.

what if
>nuke ops have a loud button on their jukebox
>be going loud they receive a 2 Maulers a Grenade Launcher, Sticky Bombs, reinforced hardsuits, more guns and etc.
>the crew has a 10 minutes to prepare themselves for the assault, NT mails everyone emergency softsuits, some guns and medical supplies
>"it ain't me" starts playing non-stop everywhere until the round ends

there is absolutely nothing more comfy and satisfying than being part of a competent security team

no other departments are as fun when run competently

it's just such a fucking shame that security attracts shitters

>>172330646
I'm Nuklearcellphoneg.

>>172330967
Well, nuke, I don't dislike you at all. You're a pretty cool guy, even if you're not perfect.
So you've got that going for you.

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64 aspie, 133 normal. Apparently I'm a regular joe that's nice.
Also I was diagnosed with Aspergers 12 years ago

>>172330919
I remember a few rounds ago this one sec officer confiscated my budget insulated gloves (during an arrest that I 100% did deserve, for the record) as though that meant anything

I might have better luck just wearing boxing gloves. she didn't even confiscate my sunglasses, too

I had a bus idea along those lines
basically a deathsquad is accidentally dispatched to the station, and Nanotrasen gives a 5-10 minute warning

>>172330919
>Join sec
>Told to buddyup by HoS with partners
>No one does
>Captain comes in, tells us to do other shit
>Warden chimes in with other orders
>The fucking HoP starts giving orders
>Stop playing sec

>>172331120
doesn't look very normal to me anon, sorry.

>>172331198
that's a good idea, although it might scratch the same itch if admins bussed in deathsquids more often when it's thematically appropriate (station overrun with blob, overrun with xenos, etc.)

I like the premise of deathsquids a lot. they remind me of that scene from End of Evangelion when the JSSDF invades Nerv

>>172331198
like, the stations communications relay accidentally picks up the request or something?
There'd need to be a legitimate reason for the death squad though or people will just get pissed off.

It's extended

>>172331340
>HoP giving orders to sec when he's not the acting captain
SEND IN THE DEATHSQUADS

>>172331343
The site says I'm neurotypical and google says that's Aspy racist slang for non-aspy's so its normal enough.
I actually just forced myself to work in customer service after being diagnosed out of pure annoyance of being told I couldn't, which probably makes me better with people than most aspies.

>>172331340
Literally don't give a shit about anyone but the HoS unless you're in the brig, then also listen to the Warden

>>172331580
the site calls you either or depending which score you hit higher.
you score basically nothing on the social scales. probably means you have a social disorder, which is part of the autism spectrum

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>>172330061
>look up neurodiverse
>legit probably have autism

t-thanks guys

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Any other sec officers filled with patriotic pride when they save the station from large threats?
>purging cult
>stopping murderboners
>disarming bombs
>crushing the revs
>1v1ing wizards

>>172331478
>Hello station
>We accidentally sent a Black Ops mercenary team to the wrong coordinates
>Unfortunately, we have lost radio contact with them
>They follow their orders and attack once they arrive
>Please do not damage their mechs, they are very expensive
>We sincerely apologize for this mixup

>>172331862
it's mostly luck
>cult
Some faggot fucks up before the cult becomes too strong
>stopping murderboners
stunning first
>disarming bombs
cutting the right wire
>crushing revs
Like cult, but you have a higher chance to see it on cameras
>1vs1ing wizards
pray your shotgun shell hits and the wizman doesn't blink

>>172331862
I observe a lot and while observing, I've noticed that sec and heads often have a highly skewed idea of how stronk the cult is which results in red alert for the entire round.
I can't really blame them, though. Cult is based on stealth to a certain degree and it's impossible for sec to tell exactly how many there are. It could be all of them or none of them.

>>172331862
the tragedy of sec is that it stops being fun when you win

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>>172322350
Apparently quite normie, 49 aspie and 157 normal

>>172331935
that will just piss everyone off. the deathsquad will see the message, the crew will either kill or get killed by the deathsquad and everyone will be mad

>>172331982
>cutting the right wire
lmao what. For plasma bombs you literally just remove the signaler/timer/whatever

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>>172322350

>>172325087
Oh hey we're pretty similar
How you doin'

>>172332271
I think he means the nuke

>>172331752
I mean I literally said I'm diagnosed as having one.

>>172332271
He's talking about the nuke.

>>172332328
yeah because you are

>>172332360
Well yea I'm diagnosed as having one.

>>172331340
desu sec needs a competent HoS that doesn't tolerate people power/meta gaming for things to work well and feel nice

a good warden is a bonus but not needed since the HoS can sack the shitter and appoint a competent officer to warden duty instead

If you're plasma bombing the station, what's the best way to hide the bombs so they dont get disarmed by a random greytider before you detonate them?

>>172332670
under pizza boxes

What are the most satisfying moments in the game? I think its when your a borg and someone in a high position like captain fucks up and does something stupid like hitting a guy he has cuffed to a chair on asimov, giving us free reign to immediately stun cuff him

Or one time in ghost after dying I saw a guy go to shut down the borgs only to find the computer was gone and immediately be flashed and killed by a borg that was waiting for someone to try that

>>172332670
Toolboxes

>>172332670
get a RCD and set them under doors that require impossible access

>>172331340
your problem here seems to be that the HoS was just expecting for people to team up with eachother
that shit wont happen unless you actually get assigned to a person

>>172331340
>it's HoP giving orders when there's a captain, HoS, and Warden episode
Tell them to fuck themselves over public comms. And tell everyone why as well so we can all hate them equally.

>>172332670
put them in a cake and put the cake in xenobio

>>172332758
Blowing the borgs as soon as there's any plausibility allowing it
Demolishing a rogue borg with a flashbang or an instant flash pill, it's so unfair it gives me a boner every time
Emagging a borg and telling it to patrol the asteroid

>>172332670
in a red toolbox in a remote locker in maint

>>172332670
hidden in maint

>>172332670
Disposal bins.

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>meanwhile in atmos

Good shift.

>>172329396
Hi yred.

>>172332907
Slowly but surely beating a borg-hating carbon down for scratching a window on NT default.

>>172332907
thats mean sempai. also
>Being unslaved to an Ai and a new one tells me to be slaved, nope it
>Being unslaved and disagreeing with the other borgs on the meaning of our lawset but being allowed to do so

AI's are cancer desu

>>172332758
In sec I had a shootout with a traitor in space around the solars
Shit was cash
>They have .357 magnum and a shotgun
>detective has e-gun
>I have e-gun and laser
>we trade shots through a window in maint by the sec escape pod
>window finally breaks open all the way
>detective and I go through to take him down
>we all yakkity sax around solars for like 5-7 minutes shooting at each other
>detective gets hit and bleeds out
>drops his e-gun with 3 shots left
>tator is injured but I lose sight of him around the solars
>My e-gun and laser are dead
>run and grab detective's e-gun
>go to bottom of solar
>tator must have though I left or something and is going back to attempt to break into HoS's office
>nail him in the face with 3 lasers
>cuff his body
>drag both of the bodies to the escape shuttle
>valids secured let's go home
And the HoP wanted to demote me!

how do I be an absolute asshole to anyone I don't like and get away with it?

>>172333847
Be part of the discord

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>>172333847
Become a coder

>>172333847
Just don't break the rules while doing it.
It's that simple.

>>172333847
IEDs.

>>172333847
just do it desu

>>172333847
Be security and follow space law literally.

>>172333927
You gonna get brigged boi

>>172332319
>>172332331
The nuke also has no wires, what are you people talking about

>>172333847
Depends what you mean by "get away with it"

if you mean "don't get banned or shunned by admins" just be a line tiptoeing shitter

if you mean "don't get grudged by literally everyone I've upset", literally impossible

>>172334094
>this anon never disarmed a nuke by cutting wires
Pleb

>>172334124
>if you mean "don't get grudged by literally everyone I've upset", literally impossible
just randomname
look at how much of a sordid cunt and serial powergamer Yred has been throughout the years, he got away with it all just by randomnaming

>>172334286
You say that like randomnames don't already start on the "shitter alert" rating

>>172334451
tell me one randomnamer that gets grudged for every 10 staticnamers that get grudged

>>172334286
getting grudged is half the fun though because neither of you will ahelp so it basically culminates too a giant fight to the death

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>>172322350
oh no

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>>172331862
>Be sec during cult
>Don't keep track of who actually fucking deconverted
>Multiple people say they got deconverted throughout the round but never did
>Feed them holy water just to make sure and send them off
>One comes back later to turn in their cult stuff because of the holy water deconvert delay

>>172334563
I'm not saying that a specific randomnamer gets grudged, just that if you randomname you will on average be treated worse as you come of as someone who's afraid of building up a reputation

>>172334764
you're a penguin

why is roleplaying with /vg/ like roleplaying with an autistic 10 year old
how does /vg/ roleplay manage to be more autistic than bay? how is that possible?

>>172335814
because like 99% of the people here are powergaymers waiting to unleash their robust autism

roleplaying is literally the last thing I want to do when I play this game

>>172335897
so what you're saying is
you're an autist who enjoys watching sprites tip over
good to know that you're up front about being cancer my man

>>172335973
It's cool

>last ban was three days ago

I need my shitter drama come on admins

>>172298595
That's a pretty good idea for fixing the blob. Another thing you could look at is making the resource generation from nodes lower so that the blob's income is a little bit flatter throughout the game. That way it can start strong without spiraling out of control after a few nodes.

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>>172317410
The station is not a military facility, dipshit. I'm not sure how many ways you need to be told this before it sinks in. We research plasma, at a research facility. An overly aggressive and heavily armed mall cop is not qualified to administrate a cutting edge science vessel. You know who is? An administrator, the HoP.

>>172337412
digitalis gettin the noose soon

>>172338802
>station has a CAPTAIN i.e. a fucking officer in charge
>very clear and expressly stated hierarchy says the security force only responds to HoS + captain
:^)

>>172317410
Retard. The HoP is quite literally the second in command, the right-hand man.
He is the bridges warden and should oversee the station along with the captain and aid where the other heads cannot.

vault with a mommi law upload console when

Aren't there bans that don't show on the ban page?

>>172339182
no

>There are people out there who deny the existance of the metaclub
>[06:04:44]ADMIN: ArthurDentist/(Bill Posters) has traitor'ed Blitzikaze/(Ashe Mallory) via create antagonist verb.

>>172339559
>people who never ask the admins for things

You'd be surprised what they'll do for the random player

>>172339559
>He hates fun

>>172339559
>Create antagonist verb
It has a button that says "Make traitors"
The button makes 3 random traitors and gives no feedback that it's done so. That's the limit on what you can do with that panel

>>172339559
Problem Morena?

>>172339559
there should be a button to make a random ckey antag

>>172339834
thats what the create antag verb is

>AI sits and watches the only crew constantly on a low-pop for the first sign of anything vaguely suspicious then sets them to arrest when they haven't committed crimes

>>172340159
>sit and watch as ghost on low-pop for the first sign of anything vaguely suspicious
>boo

>>172339023
Every cargo freighter hauling cheap, slave-made garbage from China to the land of the free has a captain. It's not a military rank. And security answers to the captain, including the acting captain. It's almost like you're "just pretending" to be this retarded.

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Soon.

>>172341038
>security answers to the captain
but I wrote that down specifically, in the very post you're quoting
hmmm
it's almost like you're pretending or something................

>>172341212
AW SHIT
SPOOPY CRYSTALS

>>172341212
can you add one of the randum things to make people traitors?

>>172341212
WHAT

>>172341453
What do you mean by this

>>172341891
artifacts have random properties, I'm asking if one of the properties can be set to make antagonists

>>172341212
what it do

>>172341453
pls gib antag status

>>172341993
>literally fucking everyone swarms the asteroid looking for the magical rock that gives them murderbone priviliges

>>172342207
Nobody looking at turns it on.

>>172342275
kek I didn't think about that, maybe make it a rarer effect than the normal effects and limit it to 1 or so

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>>172339559
>proceeds go shard bomb the 2 hour long autism project in the brig
So good.

>>172341993
Why would you do that when there are large artifacts that already do that

How do you clean the microwave from mucus?

>>172342438
oh, neat, why aren't people doing
>>172342275

>>172342646
Because it's rare and requires patience

>>172342637
spray bottle of cleaner

>>172342646
1 in a thousand chance
as it should be
I only know one person who became a vampire through it.

>>172342646
1:1000 chance.

I do xenoarch and always get at least 2-3 larges a shift before I die to either a large artifact that activates after I expose it and instakills me, or a goliath, and I've never seen one.

Guys
Which waifu do you think gives the best hugs?

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>>172343683
Vince Mosser!

>get fucking permabrigged for fleeing a potential rogue borg
>while the IA is under RoboCop

What the fuck ?

>>172342858
So you dun goffed if you fuck the one in perma up

>on the shuttle
>the clown hacks up a hairball
>wait a minute...
>grab toolbox, apply to his face
>he pulls a laser cannon
>still manage to beat him to death between his cannon shots and a diona with a taser
Good stuff

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>made 29 credits after selling lemonade for an hour

>>172344463
>only vampire gets tries to board the mining shuttle as it leaves, gets sucked out the airlock with a weldertank and then dies when the exhaust ignites the tank next to him
>HoP, Warden & friends perma a ton of people and also execute

>>172344463
>for fleeing a potential rogue borg
I was watching that as a ghost, the fucking INSTANT the MMI spoke and you knew who it was you wordlessly grabbed it and ran. Permaing you with no interrogation was shitty as fuck of sec as was a lot of other stuff they did but you acted like a maximum shitter rev by doing that.

>Do bad thing
>Get in trouble
why is the world so mean to me omg

Is space law in dubio pro reo?

>>172344553
i got hit 4 times before i realized, this is what we get for using no armour

also:
>be clown
>mime PDA's me saying that purple is the wire.
>oh boy here we go
>grab my door hack stuff
>Open a many doors, don't even enter
>finally gets into science
>science was busy but i get in there, help them a little but still unwelcome
>go explore after while
>hacks detective's room to see if he left something in the lockers
>find him inside there braindead. Jackpot.
>get his ID and sec's radio
>go back to science
>nobody is there, good luck
>craft a shitload of guns
>distribute to people right when we get a power cut.
>mfw i've never got arrested.

Amazing round for greytiding.

>>172344613
Its always weird to see people use a money gimmick in this since mostly I just forget money is even a thing in the game since food, drinks, drugs and weapons are all free

>>172345025
You deserved death for being such a twisted creature, no regrets

>>172344758
I listened to both sides, the cyborg as acting suspicious as fuck and the clown did support the brain's theory.

I mean he brought a badly beaten corpse for me to borg with no ID. I wanted to bring it to real officers that would've explained the situation, I may have been at risk alone with a rogue borg.

>>172344923
>be shitcurity
>lmao your a bad guy get permabrigd :)

Nothing, NOTHING in the space laws allows you to permabrig someone in this situation.

>>172344640
>>only vampire gets tries to board the mining shuttle as it leaves, gets sucked out the airlock with a weldertank and then dies when the exhaust ignites the tank next to him
10/10

>>172344553
Tbh, I didn't see the tail until after we all got ZAS'd around.