/ss13g/ - Spessmen on a Spess Station:

I saw this game on YouTube from "PlumpHelmetPunk", I want to try it out. What's the best server to play in and what's a good job to start on?

>>170096261
/tg/station, go janitor

>>170096261
/vg/station go captain

>>170096261
hippie station go chef

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>>170096261
Baystation
Bartender

this thread focuses on /vg/station, so lot's of the answers to your questions will be /vg/ memes

the correct answer is
/vg/station go janitor

the other thread was first, but this one is better

So did anyone get a pic of the broken down tree shuttle? Also what happened on it. I was a blind 0 charge cyborg I couldn't see or do shit. I could just hear violence

how is rfultra not banned

they are by far the worst serial shitter on the server,
it's not even a close contest

>walk into grille
>get patched up
>walk into grille again
>get patched up
>walk into weldertank
>get patched up
>walk into grille
>get patched up
>walk into weldertank
>get patched up
>hit by telebomb
>not patched up
>die and get strapped to a chair as per silicons ion laws

gud round

>>170097507
Some traitor pulled a double esword
Got zassed
Someone else grabbed the sword and started attacking people with it
Security stuns and arrests them all
Begins excections
Borg gets its law 2 valids

>glowshroom clusters are now affected by the potency and color of their glow when on walls
I don't know when this was fixed, but I love it

>>170097609
damn im jealous

>>170097609
Shuttle gets filled with zombies, plasma, and then ends in a feiry purge when it landed

>join midround
>centcomm shouts about pizza, overlords and nukes
>everything explodes 10 minutes later
what

>>170097749
damnit
did anyone take pics at all ive never even seen zombies in this

>>170097774
we got a message saying the metalic overminds want proof of human smartness or some shit or they kill us so a sec officer send woodies got wood
they nuked us

>See EVA broken into
>Walk in
>Doors all the way to the Captain's office are open
>Accidentally put on the Captain's armor
>Put on the jetpack and leave my backpack
>Mention to the AI that it would be nice if it could bolt open all sec doors
>Captain and HoS shows up
>Get arrested for walking through open doors
Really? Sec was nice this round, until I was left alone with the detective and he sawed off my limbs one by one.

>>170097960
you were hacking into Emilia's cell in solitary

>>170097575
who?

>>170098040
Oh yeah, I forgot about that

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>Security waifus are robust

>>170098225
>Fires at point blank
>Misses

>>170097923
jej I sent WGW and also the medieval pantomime adaptation

Was considering doing more but lacked the time and carrying capacity

>>170098225
nani?

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>solarious is banned
>kuranon suddenly disappears

Really makes me... think?

>>170098690
Kuranon was playing last round though.

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>>170098225
you will shake brexit until they wake up or you will face the consequences

>>170098042
their static is emilia

FUCK HEIST AND FUCK BIRD PEOPLE

RICH
FULFILLING
GAMEMODE

>>170096261
>best server to play in
Entirely subjective. If you like RP focused servers with lore and playing as a character, you'd probably enjoy Bay or Urist. If you're a faggot who enjoys Mafia Deathmatches, Hippie is right up your alley.

If you enjoy autistic building, a bit of arrrpee, and the occasional deathmatch, then /vg/ is probably the best place for you to be.

People in the github keep talking about atomic things and atomicity, what the fuck does that even mean

Raiders is such a fucking shit mode.

good round guys

C A W

>>170098754
What did you honestly expect from thread shitposting

so why did some guy declare ''murder z mommi'' when all i did was make a single chem dispenser for the mommi nest out of mats i fabricated myself.

Just lurking in the thread here, has a round already been and gone?

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>>170099127

https://github.com/d3athrow/vgstation13/pull/14118

Reminder that I had a fix for heist but everyone wanted to fix it their way.

>>170099098
who?

>>170099252
yea it was like 3 mins long

>>170099264
that bird looks like a screaming manchild with an animal on it's head

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>Mouses has to eat 24/7 or they die under a minute
>still have to wait five minutes if you wait to become a mouse/mommi again
>can't talk as a positronic brain

who the fuck coded this shit?

>>170099252
yes, there is a shit game mode that usually lasts under 5 minutes
http://ss13.moe/wiki/index.php/Vox_Raider
this is not typical average round is 90 minutes

>>170098690
who?

>>170099141
It means your pull request shouldn't address multiple different issues. For example, fixing a broken jumpsuit sprite and moving a misplaced table in robotics at the same time.

>heist birb
>break one window
>take PA
>win

The most exciting thing was gearing up.

>>170099386
Look nexis, you can try to fix the symptoms or you can cure the cause.

Cure the cause. Make them long term niggers that steal shit constantly and get rewarded for mass stealing shit. Make them endlessly strip steal the station.

>>170099616
>forgot to turn on magboots
>get le sudden rush of air meme
>almost fucking die

>>170099237
>you can't talk as a positronic brain

Well that's new or bullshit

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>>170099386
>10 upvotes
>1 downvote
>"EVERYBODY WANTS IT THEIR OWN WAY I'M GOING TO CLOSE THIS NOW"

>>170099386
>remove the inviolate
>a fix
It sounds to me that you might as well remove it and replace it with a different mode at that point. Otherwise it's just "weaker bird ops," where the strat is C4 into armory and go full kill mode.

>>170099386
Just get Probe to merge it anyways. If he's going to do it, at least let some of them be of good code.

Speaking of, did they fix the airtank sprites yet?

>emilia, after committing multiple crimes gets perma'd
>has the balls to complain that someone removed the paper as it's "metagamey"

wew

>>170099730
You didn't read the comments. Try again.

>>170099427
YOU'VE TALKED THE ENTIRE TIME

>>170099730
next time read through the PR comments, its just full of bickering about how they think heist should work, other people saying to completely remove it.

>>170099427
what i dont like about mice is them getting too fat to vent travel and it taking so goddamn long to lose weight even if you run to speed it up its faster to just kill yourself and respawn in 5 mins

>>170099786
they should have been banned a long time ago for their greyshittery. They constantly antagonize more than the rounds antagonists as an assistant and never actually contribute to the round. Honestly they must have an admin in their asshole or something because they never get punished.

>>170099386
>the organ remover is just that silly gun from Voyager that the rot-ayys used
Why?

>>170100013
Because organ thieving is riskier than stealing the PA. It forces you to interact with the crew.

>>170100149
I'm not talking about the mechanic I'm talking about the sprite
It looks almost identical from what I remember of the organ-teleporty-gun.

>>170099386
>We won't @Exxion it's been 4 years either we fix it or we don't there is no shelving it.

Why is Probe such a shitty collab

>>170100452
I made it in inkscape out of laziness, and I think the organ stealin' gun from Voyager had a green screen, was boxy and longer.

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contribute to the wiki

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>>170099790
>>170099818
Ok I'll read all of the comments

>guy mentions about a mistake which you then fixed
>guy making a suggestion about a broken feature
>same guy brings up the issue of monkeymen organs counting for objectives
>guy brings up the issue of harvesting heisters organs for the objective
>guy asks a question about an objective
>guy jokes about conflicts
>guy brings up issue of harvesting heister organs for the objective again
>guy suggests adding a little freezer to hold the organs in
>guy suggests adding the organ tool as a traitor item
>guy suggests a round start check for species organs to add depth to the objective
>guy suggests giving heisters an uplink
>couple guys say the above suggestion is dumb
>guy talks about organ harvesting objective and gives a thumbs up
>the ONE guy who downvoted the PR says he doesn't like the removal of the inviolate
>guy doesn't like heist because vox will go to mining for their objectives
>guy corrects the above guy
>the ONE guy who downvoted the PR makes another comment suggesting removing heist altogether
>guy says the negative guy is stupid
>guy says heisters should be a side antagonist
>guy agrees
>guy agrees
>talking about EMPs
>talking about EMPs
>talking about EMPs
>more EMP talk
>more fucking EMPs
>the ONE guy who downvoted the PR makes another comment suggesting removing heist altogether
>guy supports your PR
>question about bans
>answer about bans
>the ONE guy who downvoted the PR makes another comment suggesting removing heist altogether
>second guy suggests removing heist until it's completely reworked (which this PR is doing so is this even negative?)
>EMP talk
>you close the PR because "everyone is dead-set on fixing it their way"

You closed the PR because you had two guys who wanted Heist taken out of rotation and a bunch of guys who were suggesting fixes to potential exploits.

>>170100984
Alright yeah you're right, went back and watched the episode until it showed up
Honestly I kinda like the icebox-afterparty idea for the Birds. Better than 'lmao just mine' or 'lmao just decon a few walls', that's for sure.

How hard is the roleplay on /vg/?

Keep in mind ive never played ss13 so please describe it in a way I'd understand

>>170101130
The problem is if we made it so that everything dragged back to voxland had a value, it would require us:

1. Setting up an economy, which is clearly unwanted.
2. Assigning value to everything.
3. Setting up vox shuttle to add that money to an account.

As an addendum, since the Shoal would have different ideas of what is valuable and what isn't for gameplay reasons, we've not only have to maintain an economy, but one for (probably) each faction.

In short, no and fuck you

>>170101304
Read the wiki, make sure you have a decent idea of what might be expected of you, don't ask out of character questions ("what do I click on", etc), and you'll do fine. Try to join on roundstart and tell someone you're new at the job and ask if they can show you the ropes. That, or join as an assistant for a round to check out the interface.

>>170101608
He was complimenting your organ stealing objective. You're imagining critique when people are actually supporting you.
>Honestly I kinda like the icebox-afterparty idea for the Birds

>>170101608
Fuck you

>>170101608
Someone floated the idea of unending objectives. As in, once you steal one thing and bring it back, they'll give you another thing to steal. That way you can have weaker objectives and still keep the antagonism going. Would that be hard to code?

>>170101608
Have an uplink with voxcomm, like the request consoles you find in cargo.

>Spawn in, looks like one helluva slumber party went down
>Voxcomm requests console lights up
>They want 50 silver, a singularity generator, and some grey eyeballs
>Fly on out to an NT outpost, raid that shit
>Bring everything back, put em on conveyors
>The one vox that pulled the short straw sorts everything, puts it on the teleporters, send them on their way
>*DING* Request console glows green as a request is fulfilled
>*BONG* Another request comes in
>Console lights up with a bunch of potential goodies to purchase with your questionably earned quality chicken points, shortstraw vox realizes life isn't so bad after all, purchases a cake for themself
>Gets lynched when the raiding party comes back for resupply to find their supply points were wasted on fucking cake again
>Keep going until station has evacuated

Why is tasing the first thing sec does when they go to arrest someone? Why can't they just ask them to lay down so they put cuffs on us?

>>170102108
Because we have the fasted move speed of any server which makes the 5 shot taser nearly worthless against anybody who decides to run. Escaping security is the easiest thing in the world.

>>170101304
Pretty low-RP minimum, but you can RP as much as you want. Just don't reference that it's a game, don't use netspeak (LOL, shit like that), memes, and don't say shit like round or 'It's Traitor'.

>>170102108
Because most sec players are paranoid motherfuckers who think that everyone is out to kill them and steal their shit.
Which is also kinda true, but that doesn't keep me from using my hailer and the aiming function.

>>170102108
>"you're under arrest"
>you pull out a gun and shoot me
Or
>you run away and spark a manhunt

Hmm I wonder why

>>170102108
Because you're already running by the time you see the red uniform

>>170102108
>you are under arrest
>walk to them to slap on cuffs
>they run
>tricky penned
>stung
>chloralled
>just fucking shot
>borg law 2 stun him
>explosive implant

>>170102108
Sorry bud. But this isn´t undertale general

>>170102108
>>170102236
>>170102295
>>170102332
>>170102409
>>170102724
>>170102770
because security is filled with wussies who are too afraid of dying/ """"""losing""""""" to do things properly

>>170101608
>guy compliments you
>you flip your shit and say 'fuck you'
>other guy apologizes to you
>you leave discord in an autistic fit and act victimized
wow n3x really has no idea how to deal with people does he

>>170102985
What did he mean by this?

>>170102108
i like stunning people its funny

>>170102724
I forgot some:

>slipped (soap)
>slipped (lube)
>slipped (male)
>stunpapered
>stunprodded
>stungloved
>just fucking disarm pushed then cuffed with your own shit
>randomly RNG knocked unconscious with toolbox2head
>vamp glare
>vamp hypno
>ahelped

>>170103210
>Welcome to the bluespace mines

Holy fuck you madman

>>170103152
Not the first time and he's not going to let it be the last

>>170099802

Maybe it's my byond version, i couldn't see jack of what i was saying

>>170102724
>>borg law 2 stun him
i need to do this one

>>170102985
>implying silent taser-cuffing isnt the proper way

you got a (You) outta me at least

>>170103152
I'm so lost trying to follow that conversation. Why does he bring up an economy and adding value to every item?

>>170103152
He's a great coder but he really just needs to gain some social skills

>>170102108
>commit a crime
>knowingly acting in a way that's detrimental to the crew
>expecting to be treated with respect after

HAH

>>170103496
>He's a great coder
Questionable

>>170103413
please don't

I mean it can be very effective and immediately sours sec-silicon relations

But if I manage to evade borgo McGiveValids you are going to get a harm baton or 5

>metaclub made their own discord to get away from cluster
>cluster left the main discord 4 months ago

:thinking:

>>170103413
my man i am the friendliest motherfucking officer on the station, i don't even silently stun-cuff
but you pull that shit with me and i swear to god i will harmbaton your legs until your femurs are dust

>>170103969
nah they made their discord because they don't know how to socialise with people outside of their friendgroup. Just take a look at who was in it, they're all autistic.

>>170103152
He sounds legitimately autistic. Let him cool off for a bit and come back on his own time. The PR is legitimately good and we should try and get it merged either way.

>>170103857
>sours sec-silicon relations
why the robot was just doing his job

>>170103857
how come security can ignore the space laws and harmbaton for fun and their own satisfaction? i know were working for a corporation, but dont we have rights?

List good sec players go:

Arie
Samuel t. Owen
None of the waifus (maybe Ailsa)

>>170104538
Trinity was nice to me once. Don't think I've had any other pleasant experiences with them. Most of my arrests happen when I'm innocent, and when I ask for proof it somehow strengthens their belief that I'm guilty.

>>170103210
the crystal look is nice, but those borders are not so good, it could blend better to seem like it was all unified.

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>>170104538
Pic related.

>>170104538
Are you going to go first?

>>170104538
Kent Fistem

>>170104538
>(maybe Ailsa)
"no"
Degerate faggot trash, the kind that should be killed on sight every round.

>>170103152
1. I misunderstood icebox party to mean the "let's have the birbs drop off shit they steal and then go back to steal more"
2. Based on that assumption, I explained why that was a lot of work to implement.
3. I don't know where you're getting the apologize and leave parts. Nobody's highlighted me in Discord and I've been on Discord without leaving most of the day, since I just got back from driving from Oak Harbor to Seattle.

>>170104503
how come assistants can ignore the space laws and steal and resist arrest for fun and their own satisfaction? i know were working for a corporation, but dont we have rights?

>>170104465
I know but if I can't speak in time either I have to flash it and run off while telling it to stay away from me, or he stuns the fuck out of me and I have to avoid it as it is a liability

so could anyone see my foam or here me in robotic chat/chat? i got ate by the singulo but could still use all my tools, had full hp, had power, could use robotic and normal speak and according to the ending survived

is that normal when it eats a borg? usually i dont go near it

>>170104906
if you already have them under arrest you shouldnt be allowed to harmbaton for fun

DEADMIN ARCH

>>170104896
>I don't know where you're getting the apologize and leave parts.
no-fruit

>>170104657
me

>>170104906
>I can't speak in time
>he doesn't have a say "Borg, don't" macro

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lewds when

The the two poor fucks that had to put up with my bartending. thanks for learnin' me some things.

>>170104906
why not just get the captain who often butts into sec to add a law saying people marked by sec are not human but should not be harmed.

>>170105078

THICC

>>170105023
So you're trying to dig up drama from a month ago?

We almost did it mommi. We almost built that shard.

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>>170105078

>>170105078
never she is pure

>>170104323
>one of them so autistic they completely cut ties with the community out of shame
Pretty pathetic desu

Have you ever felt like everything bad in a round was indirectly your fault in some way

>>170105137
You have a history of getting pissed off at nothing. Just letting you know that's kinda sad and you should work on it

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>>170105078

she's a big singulo

>>170105203
pretty much man, it's kinda sad. even sadder that like 1/2 of them are admins too.

>>170105224
#justavadathings

>>170104538
>good
>sec
like nigga what can be good as sec, your fucking stunbaton hit ratio is 90%? sec is so simple every autistic shitter can play that

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toxins on derelict is fun, wish the round went on longer

yes I know the manifold going from the plasma miner to the burn chamber should have been a t-valve

>>170105228
Says the guy digging up drama from a month ago.

>>170105372
stop

>>170104538
That's nice to hear, thanks.

>>170105372
Oh the ironing

>>170105372
You are autistic but the PR is good any pretty much everybody agrees so just reopen it

>>170105051
>using macros
They are for the unrobust

>>170105121
From a security only perspective it's so much nicer to just have no silicon's at all

>>170104847
>degenerate
Dropped, you probably haven't even read Mein Kampf.

>>170105293
>played sec once
>got shot

i dont like sec its hard

>>170105314
the derelict is actually really fun to play on. even as a mommi, just spawning and repairing it and trying to make the place live-able is strangely enjoyable.
had a round a few months back where we had like 5 mommis patching holes and piping and powering the left side of the derelict. Got all the way from engineering down to the arrivals bit done before the round ended.

>>170105078

>you will never be sucked into a singuloose, having every atom in your body being crushed by gravity as it slowly squeezes your dick.

>>170105612
>slowly

>>170105490
yea sec and combat seem kinda flawed because of law 2. you cant afford for the people who are supposed to keep everyone safe to bend to the whims of the criminals

>>170104538
Caldwell isn't bad

>>170105467
>the PR is good and pretty much everybody agrees so just reopen it
How about we ignore the thread troll and focus on this, the important part. Everyone agrees on it. Think you could reopen it so we can get it merged, Nexis?

>>170104641
That's just the way that blue space / supermatter sea looks

wait hold on

Doesn't cargo already have a means of telling what item is valued in Centcombucks

why the fuck don't you just use those items/values for Heist and save yourself a shitton of time

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This is Felicity Rivera, say something nice about her

>>170106012
no

>>170106028
Her bones make lovely crunching noises when she gets smacked in the face

>>170106028
good at atmos

>>170106028
SHUT UP
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT

>a high profile streamer makes another ss13 tutorial video today
>already has thousands of views and hundreds of likes

BUNKER WHEN?

>>170105945
>"N3X15 reopened this a minute ago"

>>170105696
I mean it's also the fact that about 40% of all of my problems as an officer come from the subverting of the silicons or the attempts to

>>170106028
She has a very dedicated shitposter that makes threads on /v/ with that pic and the same filename.

>>170105696
>BORG LAW 2 STUN HIM
>NO BORG STUN HIM LAW 2
>BORG LAW 2 DON'T
It's part of the fun of secborg.

>>170106154
Who

>>170106383
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCrpgoO8Xto

>>170106446
Well they're certainly not going to be playing on /vg/station

>>170106446
Isn't he a Paradise admin who streams himself metacomming?

>>170106191
yea it is pretty fun to be an evil borg and get law 2 do thing and then just kill the guy ordering you
especially if you can get away with it and still have sec think your loyal

>>170106353
some of you fucks just love the chance to tase officers and uncuff arrestees

I bet you stroll through brig lobby with a big fat fucking erection thinking about all the prisoners that will ask to be freed

I'm a person that enjoys traditional roleplaying games like dungeons and dragons for example but also enjoys slice of life anime. I consider myself intelligent and enjoy making cute female characters in video games to play as.

Which server is for me?

>>170106154
We can usually convince our kind and benevolent absolute dictator Probe to power up the bunker on weekends. Someone bring this to his attention on discord or wherever it is the club hangs out at.

>>170107045
this one its full of people who think they smart but are just nerdy weabs

>>170107045
>enjoys slice of life anime
> I consider myself intelligent
ahahahaAHAHAHAHA
Probably Bay though in all seriousness, depending on how much arr pee you really want

>>170107045
>consider myself intelligent
>enjoys slice of life anime

Paradise and TG are the reddit servers

>>170106842
Nah, I just like watching you shriek at each other.

>>170107197
aren't there 2 tg servers or somethin'? which one's the reddit one
or are they both reddit servers

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Does anyone else see any other problems with what's here so far?

>>170107192
>>170107197
>doesn't like anime
>posts on an anime website about an anime server for an anime referencing game

>>170107609
They are both reddit, but I think paradise may have cat tits

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How to mutate plants in permabrig?

>>170106842
i remember one time an officer for some reason left a clown with his pda so he apparently sent a law 2 message to a borg and made a secret wall. sec never figured out how everyone kept escaping perma
i only knew because i was dead

>>170107770
i might be willing to trade cat tits for anime space girlfriends with parasitic superpowers

In all seriousness can I roleplay on this server or will people metagrudge me and cause me to "self request" a permaban

>>170107987
Yes you can roleplay. You can go all the way up to bay-tier if you so desire.

>>170107987
go nuts

>>170107987
If you do any sort if in-character emote or roleplay, like waving, I will not hesitate to murder you in the quickest way I can.

I will tell the entire server what you did in OOC and they will kill you every round until you self request a ban.

How hasn't Pomf killed himself yet?

>>170107609
TG is shit and is the one you're thinking of. Urist also exists but it's deadpop during peak hours and actually just dead otherwise.

>>170107987
You've been in the thread long enough to properly use 'metagrudge' and 'self request a permaban' and you don't know the answer to this?

>>170107987
Don't RP on this server, the other players will make fun of you.

>>170107987
The way the RP works here is that you can dial it up as much as you want but there is a baseline everyone has to adhere to

However if you decide to arrghpeeee fixing my 0% blood, limbless and 500 brute body to full in the middle of a hell round or let the 20 times killer go as he gave me the arghpee then you can go fuck yourself

I'm going to make a cute female static name.
I'm going to emote smiling and poses.
I'm going to play 8 rounds a day.
I'm going to play security officer.
I'm going to cater to every possible fetish.

I'm going to be the top waifu of 2017

>>170108451
a weapon to surpass metal gear

>>170108451
>I'm going to cater to every possible fetish.

Good luck.

>>170108436
Arhpee me daddy ;^)

>>170108451
>security officer

"no"

>>170108451
If you're a grill (female) you already fail at being my fetish.

I demand a girly boy who wants to meat joust in maint

>>170108307
metagrudge is a term used on many of the servers.

>>170108451
Please say you're sorry every time you tasecuff someone before telling them to stop.

>>170108554
my lizard

it spits

clown ghost should make squeaky noises the living can hear

>>170107046
probe consistently puts the bunker up a few days to late, every time

>>170108793
clown was originally a punishment role for people to get fucked for being trash
It's not meant to be some meta shitter role

>>170107045
i have no idea, but not /vg/

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Is there a ss13 waifu like pic related?

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>poke guy in corridor with pencil
>he starts running around the fucking room like a headless chicken
>he pulls out like 3 fucking cups of coffee from his backpack
>chugs them all
>healthscans himself repeatedly, still running around the room
powergamers are fun to watch

>>170107987

Of course not. You can roleplay as much as you want

While some people think they need a big story behind their characters, the way they look, ect, you don't need that at all on ss13. The best way to roleplay is to let things go by themselves and you'll earn a name for yourself by doing stuff. Bonus point if you create a medical and security background so bored people can read your stuff for fun

/vg/ is the perfect mix of social and gameplay, people there won't go braindead unless the round goes too long compared to other servers, and you won't get shit on for doing the right thing

If you want something that has more roleplay, you can try out Bay and Paradise. But prepare to rage when you people in security emoting and talking while there is a killer on the run, or braindead people in the middle of the hallway

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>>170109384
You've made this post at least twice now my dude

>>170109327
Yes. all waifus are the worst girl.

dream seeker keeps crashing, any clue why?

>poke guy in corridor with pencil
>he starts running around the fucking room like a headless chicken
>he pulls out like 3 fucking cups of coffee from his backpack
>chugs them all
>healthscans himself repeatedly, still running around the room
powergamers are fun to watch

Lord Supermatter slew a wizard this day, with my aid.

Is Aurora Station good?

>>170109621
reinstall

>>170109621
Byond is trash. that's why.

Is it a wizard spell that causes spellbooks to spawn on every crewmember and them essentially becoming antagonists? Or is it an admin spawned event?

Why have wizard prefs on if you're shit at the game, Surfer?

>>170109724
WHAT A RIDICULOUS FUCKIN QUESTION MY BOYO

>>170109724
adminbus

>>170109724
It's a spell
The lazy way for antags to do something and think they're "good wizards"

>>170109724
its the lel so random and fun button for a wiz

>>170109384
>>170109646

>poke guy in corridor with autoinjector
>he starts running around and then falls on the floor asleep
>pull out like 3 fucking cups of coffee from his backpack
>chug them all
>esword him repeatedly, still dragging him around the room

powergamers are fun to watch

if this post ends in a 5, i'll remove vox raiders

>>170109880
>poke guy in corridor with GIANT SYRINGE
>he fucking dies

welp

Who is the nicest static? Not the most robust or best player, but a person that brightens up your round just by being around and talking to you.

Please don't self shill in reply to this

>>170109724

Wizard spell, same thing with guns, it's just a way to make people have fun instead of just making it extended after all the wizards died off

>poke guy in corridor with dick
>get banned

wow wtf admins

>>170110095
Me

>>170109880
>coffee
what the fuck is even that meme?
coffee does jackshit besides remove frostoil from your body and makes you wake up earlier when you sleep normally

>>170109405
>if you create a medical and security background
Forgive me, i'm fairly new. What?

>>170110120
ugh

>get poked by some valid in a corridor
>I begin to perform tactical dodges while chugging my emergency store of coffee to offset the inevitable chloral
>notice he's standing still - THE FOOL HAS LEFT HIMSELF WIDE OPEN!
>disarm spam him down, harm grab into a window until dead
>space the body

Can you believe he ahelped me? I got 3 days off but he's sitting out a month for ban baiting

>>170110141
In character setup you can write in your own security and medical records that people can read on the computers. Anybody who does this is guaranteed to be a cringeworthy mess.

>>170110095
probably emilia

>>170110132
it's idiots who think they know the game and think that coffee counters chloral. Just takes two seconds of reading the code to realise it doesn't and you infact need tonio to do that.

>>170110113
>it's just a way to make people have fun
this, unlike summon guns, which causes misery and destruction

>>170110095
the most consistently nice person i've met is probably ashe mallory. megurine luka is also nice, but i dont see her that often any more

>>170110219
since you seem to have grasp on it
can you explain wall slamming and table slamming? I've always been shit when it comes to grabbing people.

>>170110258
Ah, i see. Thanks for not memeing me to death. some of this kinda stuff aint easy to find on the wiki.

>>170110456
You need a harmgrab (upgrade your normal grab)

Click the table to create a lengthy (5 secondish) stun, enough to wreck most people

Click a window to smash them into it, dealing very heavy damage

>>170110095
Alice Conrad


They called me nice once and said they enjoyed playing with me and it made me feel warm inside and less lonely.

>>170110463
iktf I can't code and only have so much free time to play spess and I try to follow the wiki for somethings or how to make certain objects but then I see some static sprinting down the hallway with some wachtamacallit blowing holes left and right. I'm just like, "how"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh0iHYMPa5s
this on the jukebox when

>>170110419
nah ashe mallory fucking sucks

>>170110419
I prefer Mallory Brooks, the ash surfer

>>170110602
Is there a best spot to grab a person or will anywhere do? And by "harm grab" you mean the "you grab so-so (aggressively)!"
Do walls work to or are windows just more damage?

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>>170110796
Delete this

>>170099386
That's because your idea was shit.

>>170110219
>chugging my emergency store of coffee to offset the inevitable chloral
???
???????

>>170110463
me/ *memes you to death*
Heh, kid, dont take it personnelly
me/ *spaces u and deletes ur clone data*
See you on the thread, newb
me/ *winks*

>>170110659

When a black man infiltrates the admin team.

>>170110258
>>170110463
Don't believe the faggot saying that people with records are bad.
Just don't make them overly indulgent. Make them look reaasonably like some sort of actual record.
Seriously, please. It gives me something to do when there's inevitably nothing to do in med.

>>170111128
>open record to set somebody to arrest
>16 years old
>neon hair
>is a syndicate assassin

Guess who

>>170110095
Whenever I see Surfer she's nice to me. If she wasn't a guy I'd date

>>170111128
I like to write about my female static's dozens of alien stds in their med records

>>170111220
Seriously?
It has to be ironic right? We don't have people that awful here do we?

>>170111220
Megurine luka?
Rin whatever the fuck her name is?
Surfer?
I dunno.

>>170111240
>gay
who

>>170111331
>>170111334
it's surfer i think

Are there any good forum threads to read?

>>170111240
surfer is a small jewish boy irl, go wild gayboy

>>170111519
Archive of stupidity
Denied ban appeals

>>170110095
>everyone just lists "girl" statics

Ola is pretty cool. Jack Clark is nice when he's not an antag. Jean-Luc is a good person. Val is usually a nice guy too.

Tahki, Hachi, Rail, most Vox players are also usually pretty nice.

>>170111220
you can't make your age 16

>>170111128
If that's the case. i'll spend some time whiping up something reasonable. just for you.

>>170111661
I've definitely seen 17, so it was probably that.

Rate my character backstory

>Born on a mining colony on mars
>A quiet backwater facility among the stars
>One day he was minding his own business, mining his own ore
>And there he was NT RECRUITER
>With a form looking for contracters

>>170111732
it's 17 and i'm pretty sure the person theyre talking about is alice conrad

>>170111526
i'm 6'1 bucko
>>170111634
Rail yes. Blast Ripneck helps me up every single time I slip, love that guy. Also Harvey Zadvosky is kind to everyone.

Also Lyra.

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>>170111128
>open shiggy's med records
>bombarded with poorly written, misspelled!, gushing from a """therapist""" about how awesome his character is
>tfw he used the template that i had used for mine
That was a disgusting mess of missing articles and atrociously misspelled words, and reading it gave me cancer.
I kinda wish I had saved 'em just so other people could see them.

>>170111765
pretty good, normal person/10 that's what you should be aiming for

>>170111634
(((girl))) statics are the ones that go out of their way to talk to people in the hope that they will get mentioned

>>170111849
6'1 and 100lb probably, seeing as you have the mind of a 12 year old boy still

>>170111793
Alice Conrad died not have neon hair and isn't a syndicate shitter because they're a proud security dream team officer

>>170111849
Blast is almost always there to help someone up or drag them to safety, it's kind of scary.

where do you even change backstory because I can't find it in setup

>>170112132
You don't really get to do that, you can change medical records in the character setup - general settings, right side under 'character records'.

If I read someone security records and it says "Syndicate Assassin" or something similar, are they valid? I mean they just named themselves as an enemy of the corporation.

>>170111603
>THE RAPER ban appeal

Laughed just at the title

>>170112339
ahelp it and see what the 'mins say
please don't get character records taken away from us, we've already lost flavor text

>>170110805
No, anywhere
Yes
No

What are some of your most shameful moments when doing your job /vg/?

>primed a slipp nade in escape by accident denying me and several others escape
>threw an off baton at a ling monkey and got chased around by it
>countless push/slips into being stunned by my own baton

do you call it bee-ond or bi-ond?

>>170112756
buh-yond, come at me

>>170112730
personally i say bee-yi-oun~deh

>>170112730
>play chemist every fucking round because nobody else will
>one of rounds
>start as always by grinding plasma
>bring it to chemmaster to split it into 4 5u bottles
>you click on the ground

END ME

>>170112730
i got lubed while i was investigating something and not paying attention and got my entire sec belt stolen from me by some fag in a balaclava
if we're including antag moments, i got out-robusted and out-smarted by my own cult conversion victim with a shower and my own egun, and then RP'd at for the last 2 minutes of the round

>>170112756

Bee-yawn-hnnnt

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>>170112730
>looking for rubber stamp as cargo tech
>can't find it anywhere
>ask fellow cargo tech
>"it's right next to you" *points*

>>170112756
Jif.

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>>170112756

I never say it. I rarely speak. What are you, a normie?

>>170112730
>janitor
>didn't leave wet floor signs

>>170113268
>doesn't talk to himself in his head
you're the fucking normie here, get the fuck out

Detective is my favorite job, it's a shame its not useful in rounds like now where it's wizard.

>>170112730
It was on test serb thankfully but
>try to set up singulo
>seems to be working
>oh fuck thats big turn it off
>read wiki
>retry
>Start on the radiation collectors
>turns out I was doing all of this fucking backwards
>singoloose while reading wiki cause fucking idiot
>get eaten by it
>have to respawn another player has to explain to me how to spawn shit in sandbox and which console calls the shuttle
One of my worst moments in spess desu

>>170113575
I'm pretty spooped by engineering

With sec I just click on the bad guys sprites and ascertain whether a certain action would get me bwoinked

None of this station destroying plasma leaking shit

>>170113910
Just power everything with solars because engineering is a meme job

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>>170112730

>shaft miner
>finally get a diamond drill
>run straight into a monster nest
>get tentacle raped from all sides

>>170114431
btw, if you're playing on box station, and want to get diamonds instantly, just go to the tiny asteroid islands. there's always diamonds there, and gibonite never spawns there either. if you don't know what that is, consult the map.
that way you can deliver diamonds to RnD faster (and still never get a diamond drill because there's no one doing RnD)

>>170099386
Your """"""""""""Fix"""""""""""""" was fucking atrocious, it only made things worse and just made it into a murderbone mode.

>>170113483
how do i get into playing sec? I don't want to be a shitter
(besides knowing everything on the wiki)

>>170114987
Start with assistant security cadet alt title if you are nervous, then ask HoS to assign you an officer to teach you

>>170110095
Hachi but I think he left.
There's another guy who still does play but I can't remember his name. He plays mechanic and I think is the same one who set up a little trading area near brig some times.

Most people who play Mommi and use the same name every time tend to be nice. Learnt quite a lot from Autism Bot, clownpiece and.... one other one I can't remember the name of because I just plain don't pay that much attention

>>170112730
>first time on sec
>go to check on the miners
>see ''facehuggers''
>panic and start screaming facehuggers in mining
>''Are they toys''?

>>170111634
vox are so afraid of 'Law 2, bully that bird' that they over compensate and are nice to everyone
I don't think it's sincere

>>170115913
traders are usually nice but are absolutely ruthless when opportunities present themselves

>>170112730
>buckle myself into a bed because I used to think that sleeping healed you
>the second I buckle myself a xeno climbs out the vent
>try to unbuckle myself but click the bedsheet a few hundred times instead
>die

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Reminder to join the resistance

If security can powergame/metagame holy water, you can powergame/metagame deconversion texts. Don't let those red shitters and robocop silicons on Asimov win. Only you can fix the state of shitcurity by discouraging people to sign up.

>>170115913
I try to be a nice bird just for the sake of it. I generally like people in this game
Not mentioned at all though so maybe I'm not as nice as I strive to be.

What ever happened to Nevill? I remember he used to always bombshit with his ayy lmao boyfriend. Did he get banned or just quit?

>>170117309
Joined as Nevil Banshoot and welderbombed. Now he's banned like how he wanted

>>170117130
Don't forget to ahelp when you're borged anyway.

>>170117130
Sec is actually real comfy as just a lone officer. No faggot HoS screeching at you, no braindead officers fumbling arrests, no detective setting themselves to arrest when they find their own prints.

Plus when you inevitably get raped and killed in maint, you don't have to worry about either endangering your coworkers or being dragged back into the round

>>170117794
>no detective setting themselves to arrest when they find their own prints.
i really hope you're not making that up, because that's hilarious

>>170115831
I remember that, it was like one month ago

>>170117562
I'll just skirt around it by tossing sec and heads into solitary any time they harm, no headset. You can't win against the resistance

>>170117871
It happened. I don't have the image but the detective demanded himself to be set to arrest and then realized he is that person

>>170117794
The only good sec is a non-existent one

>>170117130
Aha, I understand this image.

You see, it is a dicksucking motion

It is humorous because I too know humans enjoy oral sex

>>170112756
byond
one syllable

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>>170103210

>>170117473
He wanted to be banned? Fucking weird

>>170112730
I was clearing out interrogation as sec, and decided to tossed some explosive dice in a locked.
I rolled an 18

>>170118502
>he doesn't want to be banned

The discord would be more to your taste

>>170118502

there's a lot of people that requested a self ban, nevill still shitpost on the discord even despite banning himself

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>do some job related stuff
>go to the bar
>drink too much
>fucking die
Is there any better way to enjoy the game that is SS13?

>>170107614
Yes. Using a burn chamber at all when you can get bigger booms without it.

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Why are shuttles always so shit?

>>170112730

+5 years ago

Making bombs, accidentally leaving a canister with the immensely hot plasma mix open after filling up a tank.

Having a voice-activated bomb, tried to smuggle it into security, but someone said the keyword before I reached it.

Having my PDA stolen as a clown, boots. etc.

Being lynched as a Vox clown, because I was a Vox clown, without slipping even one person.

I was captain and someone asked for all access. I let him into the HoPs office and gave my ID so he could change his. Instead, he took my ID and walked out, leaving me stranded.

Accidental singuloth.

Farting on a bible after being invited to.

Eating a Eucharist wafer or some shit as a fat guy, and exploding because of it.

Syndicate; asked by team to blow up bridge. Did so. At the moment I planted the bomb and walked off, seconds left, the rest of the syndi team teleport onto the bridge. Splat.

AI, accidentally doorcrushed a human once (after getting access to a hacked door); ended up killing him because he broke a bone.

Injected myself with a stray DNA syringe, became a monkey.

Poisoned the chef's food as an antag, ended up forgetting that I'd done so and ate it myself. I died.

Loyalty implanted myself as a syndicate double agent to see what it'd do. Figured out it turned me over to the other side.

Wizard, teleported onto station expecting to be treated normally. Said hi to one person, who toolboxed me to crit. Mindswapped into him and told security that I was actually the wizard, because I thought that the other person had committed a crime by murdering me. Guess how that ended...

Cultist, yelled over radio for a book and instructions while standing next to the person who'd just converted me. I'd forgotten I had a station bound radio in my pocket, and it was broadcasting.

Waited for the escape shuttle to arrive, in space. Got gibbed by it. Repeated that with the science shuttle a couple of times.

Vampire. Walk into church, ask people why I caught fire.

There's more.

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>get traitor
>implant myself with explosives
>roll mysterious d20 with captain
>he gets gibbed, I get braindamage
>take his card and rob his office
>try to free permabrigged people
>fall to a secbots taser
>can't detonate myself because braindamage changes my words
>get spaced
JUST

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>>170119375
Yes. photocopy your ass a hundred times as a cargo tech and instead of mailing people's orders, just mail a crate with a picture of your ass.

>>170119658

Why did you kill me in Viro, I wasn't even your target

>>170119503
Halt, security

>>170119586
you seem a bit silly desu

>>170119503
there's so much going on in this image

>>170119850
Because you were telling people that I'm spreading virus.

>>170119586
>Having a voice-activated bomb, tried to smuggle it into security, but somebody said the keyword before I reached it
Why would you have a bomb with an obvious keyword?

>>170119658
bait someone else into saying it next time.

>Clown in deadsay: SEC OFFICER WHY DID YOU KILL ME IT'S JUST A GAME

>>170119957

Well... you did come in and throw shit all over the floor

>that hour long sec autism storm
Holy shit that was a fucking goldmine.

>>170120062

It was fire. There was a fire. And an explosion.

I think it was even the AI that did it. "There's a fire in, e.g., aux storage." BOOM.

>>170120080
I was tired of him talking so much shit tbqh
>>170120115
Fighting off another sec officer who was autistically trying to kill a vox and dealing with a fucking mass shooter in brig was a lot of fun.

>>170120161
>set boomword to Kawaii or Sugoi
>???
>profit

make a rough sketch of a shuttle and I'll map it

How much plasma needs to be in the environment for a plasmaman to breathe
Does it need to be pure plasma
Or can I mix nitrogen in like most other races do with oxygen

To continue my thought in deadchat

Waifus are characters who don't actually have substance (and are usually actually raging fuckwits) but try to add an interesting factor by being 'waifu' or 'sexy' or whatever other shit is tacked on.

It's okay to make a female character. It's okay to play somebody who's interested in a relationship. It's not okay to replace the actual /character/ with memes.

90% of people who think their female character is 'good' are bullshitting themselves and you. Try actual character traits, or at least don't disguise ERP-bait as "character".