/ss13g/ - Spessmen on a spess station

>Get kidnapped by clown
>Muzzled and headset removed, he makes me watch where he takes me
>We end up in a ghetto surgical room that he made from scratch
>I could tell he put a lot of effort into this, he stole signs from medbay, made monkeymen into

patients, sprayed the floor with a tile painter, really dressed the place well
>Takes me to a creepy backroom where he removes my muzzle a bit to interrogate me, I try to resist

while roleplaying with him, he is pretty entertaining too
>Unravels a backpack full of surgical tools and several bodies, tells me he will make me a

frankenstein's monster
>I scream until he puts the muzzle back on me and he begins the surgery
>Keeps stabbing himself on accident due to his clumsiness, despite being an antag
>At first it's a little funny but then it quickly becomes an annoyance after 10 failed steps in a

row, I'm bleeding out and the clown is pretty fucked up to
>He takes off my mask and apologizes saying he thought this would end up better than it did
>I tell him I thought it was pretty cool, the effort was good but this gimmick doesn't work

anymore
>I then bleed out and the clown just goes braindead after I died from clumsy surgery

T H A N K S C O D E R S
H
A
N
K
S

C
O
D
E
R
S

>pvak permabanned

as per suggestion from a /trash/ patron, i came to this thread is search of a good time. now, i've read up on the guides a bit (i may have skimmed) and was curious, how do I start up the game in single player as not to disturb anyone with my newbiness?

>>167208696
Jokes aside being new isn't a problem. Just glance over the guide for new players and pick a low impact job like janitor or cargo tech.

>>167208696
Join the test server in the OP and read the beginner's guide.

>>167208696
If by "single player" you mean "just you on an empty station" you can use the test server that's linked in the OP.

>>167208696
You just have to jump in, but start on a low-responsibility role like assistant or one of the service crew. Yes the first few rounds will be shit but you will get better.

>>167208964
so this game is always online?

>>167208696
>a /trash/ patron
who?

>>167209053
perhaps patron was a poor choice of words, how does piece of garbage sound?

>>167209053
There's some thread on /trash/ where the faggot asked for free PC games. Looks like a couple people recommended this game.

Poor bastard doesn't know what he's getting into, but I wish him the best of luck nonetheless, and hope he enjoys himself.

>>167208696
Let https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHH1vfY6HTA set the tone.

>>167209019
Yes, it makes no sense as a singleplayer game.

>>167209019
You can start up a local server if you download the .zip of the code from the Github.
But that will also be "just you on an empty station."

>>167209196
ey thats my thread

>Last round of the night, time to pack it in
>NUCLEAR OPERATIVES
>Hahahatimeforkill.c90
>Five to ten minutes of TC shuffling and bickering later, find ourselves on the shuttle to the south of the station
>Take out tcomms without setting off an alert first
>No one can hear you scream in space
>Follow pointer to medbay, manage to herd the cats that are my fellow operatives along with me
>Murder murder murder
>About to break into maint via surgery to follow that fukken disk
>Captain opens the door we were just about to emag, opens fire on me with an e-gun
>I have an e-shield
>This is not as effective a tactic as he had hoped
>After being shot in various unfortunate parts of his anatomy, attempts to use his Hand Teleporter to escape
>Ends up lodged in a set of windows
>Goodnightnurse.sketchnick
>Got that fukken disk
>Door from Surgery into Medical opens with a hiss
>It's the fucking Head of Security
>Having apparently downed one of our comrades gone astray, chucks a foaming virus bomb into Surgery
>Don't move for fear of slipping, one of the two ops that have stuck with me uses his medgun to keep us alive
>Half a second before the foam disappears, the HoS slips
>Blow his brains out at point blank range
>Skedaddle back to the shuttle
>Set the nuke in engineering
>Evac with the two fine gentleman who stuck with me
>BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
>DistantExplosion.ogg

Hippie Station has its moments. My heart was in my throat when the HoS showed up.

Any other pulse pounding moments that y'all care to share?

>Your character preferences have not yet loaded.
what did he meme by this?

>>167209429
I won't do the story justice, but I once [legally obtained all access] as the mime and got the pinpointer, and decided to follow it. As I started getting farther away from the station going though the maint tunnels I started getting getting more and more paranoid. Luckily I had a spacesuit on already because it lead me to the armed nuke on solars. They forgot to take the disk out and I stopped the clock at 5 seconds and then immediately called the shuttle.

>>167209936
>>167209429
Go back to Hippie, faggots.

when does ailsa play
he's cute and fun and i want to play with him

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>>167210113
>No fun allowed, the post
It's alright anon. Know that, despite the lack of insight or apparent desire to expand your thinking illustrated by what you typed, I still think if I ran into you in person we'd be able to find a lot of common ground in the fact we count ourselves among an incrediably small minority that are aware SS13 even exists. Have a good night!

Yeah I really don't know what to do about my character preferences, maybe I downloaded something wrong

>>167210759
Restart your pc famalam

>>167210759
try a different character slot. That fixed it when i had that issue

>>167210858
whats that supposed to mean? ;~;

>>167209936
It's the small moments like that which keep bringing me back to this game. Once you reach a certain level of expertise with the controls and mechanical knowledge, one may call oneself Robust. However, True Robustness can only occur with a synergy of the former, and an opportunity to rise above your fellow spessmen. Well done you.

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Ran outta wires, then some ass tracked blood and bullet shells on it. Remember to throw all traders into space before they litter.

>>167210759
What specifically is your issue?

>>167210973
Restart your computer

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Sooner or later i'm gonna figure this out

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Comfy borer round, yet again

Haven't been here in a while. Anything new added/changed? The last change I recall was adding exhaust to the shuttle, so if you broke the windows near the engines you'd fry everyone inside.

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>>167211308

>>167211147
Pretty good
I'm glad people still make wire art

I hearby excommunicate Agentofzog/(Bawka Gayjim from the Vox metaclub

>SHAME
SHAME
>SHAME
SHAME
>SHAME
SHAME
>SHAME
SHAME
>SHAME
SHAME
>SHAME
SHAME
>SHAME
SHAME
>SHAME
SHAME
>SHAME
SHAME
>SHAME
SHAME
>SHAME
SHAME

>>167211368
Ya it's pretty cool, we added a Changelog

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>Want to play a little detective
>There's 3 officers so might as well
>one goes braindead, one kills himself, and the other becomes the captain

>>167211418
I think it's just me

>>167211401
Thanks senpai

>>167211420

>he trusted a ninja

You finally get home, looking forward to playing spess all day. You are lucky to sit down just before round start. You roll your favorite department and you eagerly look forward to having a productive shift. You then notice that Avada is also in your department.

How do you get rid of her?

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>tfw only got 5 customers during the whole round
Rate the comf

>>167211601
I don't really care about avada

>>167208003
>Buy medbots
>Make some iron
>Use gauze
>Give no fucks
IF YOU CAN'T SLAM WITH THE BEST YOU GON' JAM WITH THE REST SON

>>167211601
Trickyprick with Chloral, 200u sleeptox, nick his ID, stick him in a chair in the bar. The admins will understand.

>>167211601
>Sec
>I'm HoS
Ask her to go out on patrol and let the graytide have her.

>>167211601
I play assistant
So that's normal

>>167211687
geee I love surgery taking over 4x slower

>>167211147
The nose looks like a butt

>>167211630
>CE hardsuit
wait what

>be qm
>normal qm shit
>stealing emitter because goats is faggy as fuck
>get turned to a ling
>dick around for fucking ever
>get guns
>try to give guns to other lings, Not takers
>try to get AEG kits
>r&d wasnt done
>wait an eternity
>Notice a trader advertising his wares
>try to recruit him to be my partner in crime
>give him the run down that he will kill people and see unspeakable horrors, Each one making him harder than the last in exchange for several thousand credits
>he accepts
>arm him up
>gank cargo tech slave with help of new merc
>later gank bartender that was a dick to tahki earlier while getting healing meds
>bartender almost escaped, Almost
>tahki says evangaline has 8 dev bombs
>try to buy some from her
>1000 credits for a bomb
>we pay
>gives us a fake bomb
>execute her on the spot
>devour her
>borer apparently was in her and alerted the borgs to valids
>as soon as i finish eating her a borg comes through the door
>by pure luck i get the flash before the borg 1 hits me
>empty a total of 3 AEGs into it
>By pure luck it dies
>in a harrowing escape manage to get to vox outpost
>change both me and tahkis UI using our ling powers
>see another trader.
>Let him live and tell him we mean no harm
>he escapes seeing avada in a bird brownsuit claiming to be tahki and evangyline in full armor and ofcourse betrays us.
>we manage to get suits from xenoarch
>as soon as we are ready to leave the borg from earlier fully repaired jumps us
>lagstorm of no other and the borg gets its 1 hit on me
>tahki manages to escape but gets killed on station

Thanks tahki for playing along. Lots of loyalty for a hired gun. Also evangyline we were planning to let you live. You just had to try to scam us and as so in teladi fashion you payed with your life

>>167209429
>Didn't laser though the airlock
>If you shot him with electrodes when possible he'd have been downed and trivial to kill instead of getting to sax away
>Didn't buy thermals as squad leader
>We were just about to emag
>We
>As in wasted crystals
It's all self-inflicted

>>167211630
4/10
Way too cramped, not nice to look at, no entertainment

>>167211601
I teach her how to be less shit at it.

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>>167211448

Sorry I went captain. I just knew someone had to bite the bullet with the way heads were. I hope I didn't ruin things too much for ya.

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>>167211601
do the basic chore thing that my department is expected to do
ask the HoP to transfer out or quit

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>>167211854
>Det and RD don't have magboots on a fucking raid
>Electrodes firing on the outpost
>Not sure who's who so I don't shoot
>By the time it's clear you're shooting at us you've scooted into space
>Jeptpack equipped
>Jeptpack equipped
>Jeptpack equipped

>>167211920
Sorry, I can't hear you over the reverberating echoes of nuclear detonation.

But seriously, it's only fair to evenly distribute. In addition, I hadn't run into any officers, so the only tools I had at my disposal were my handy dandy C90 and Sketchnick

>>167212203
Watching you and the HoS get chain death stung was something else.

>>167212308
thing is i tried to run into space but the airlock there was one of those shitty cyclic ones and before i could weld the door the borg got me. If it wasnt for the borg my reign of terror would have continued

>>167211854
I was the PAI of the guy who called you out via borer network. Jesus christ I was scarred as fuck as my host sat stunned in the corner. I was dumping smoke out constantly.

>>167212991

It was one of those things where I knew that the AI was asimov so a kill would have bit me in the ass, I went in for the cuffing knowing a sting would probably come but "reveal" their ling status. No clue why the HoS was dicking around near it after a balant death sting.

server?

>>167213358
HoS wasn't too hot

I want to hug a waifu!

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>Become PAI as observer.
>Become the chaplain's PAI.
>Someehat regret my existence as I find him to be a serious tider.
>Eventually get a borer bro in our hand.
>We run around untill it turns out the chaplain's nemesis fedoralord the atheist has defaced the chapel.
>We get in various skirmishes with him.
>Get arrested twice.
>After that it seems to cooldown.
>Have to stop the chaplain from just soaceing the warden's corpse.
>Manage this task but an atmostech steals it away.
>He is murdered by space carp as he leaves the station.
>We retrieve the warden and return him to where he belongs.
>Wander around as I dump tricord and coffee into his system.
>Keep asking to be put in a mrdibot.
>Never achieve my dream.
>Suddenly the borer tells him that one of the other borer's hosts is being succed.
>We call out Issac etc.
>Raid goes poorly only thing acomolished was blowing their cover.
>Help with the secborg's repairs.
>We hatch more borers to get some possible husks back into the round.
>The rest of the round is uneventful as we tide around.

PAI'S without a body are fucking shit. God damn all I could do is tricord smoke and crack open doors. For the love of god please review the PAI's personality page before downloading it. Sometimes it's better to just hand them off to sec, medbay, and cargo. Since they would have more uses rather than being a door opener.

>>167214069
Oh my god am I having a stroke?

How do you do chaplain on cult/vampire? Bless fuckloads of water tanks and chill in the brig?

>>167214069
It could've been worse, we did at least beat the fedora fag back.

>>167214069
such is life of PAI's and borers

>>167213885
Which one

Definitive server ranking
/vg/ > Urist > Baystation > powergap > Goon > /tg/ > Paradise > Colonial Marines > Apollo > Hippie > Yogs

>>167214187
Agreed we could have gotten murder/drug away and succed. As far as I can tell the only way to stay in cover and still succ someone with a PAI and borer is to change appearance or EMP/salt them. This is of course assuming the PAI isn't already shooting you in the face from his backpack.

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conflicts of interest.

>>167214069
Why should he give a damn what you want? You're his slave.

>Getting to the shuttle
>Friendly sec officer doesn't shoot me on sight
>Run into ass wizard and get changed into a borg
>Try to help sec officer in a shortcut through the maint tunnel
>Open a door
>ZAS blasts him into the darkness
>Never see him again
If you are reading this officer, I am so sorry

>>167214957
I went towards escape where I was promptly shot to death by an apprentice.

I tried my best.

>>167215067
jesus.

>>167215067
he got his face blasted off with a plasma cannon so it's funny in the end.

>>167214908

the slave can turn into a tank if put into a mule bot etc

>>167214908
Are you trying to equate pais with borgs and normal AIs? As far as I'm concerned they're a peronality in a device. They can voice their preferences and opinions (wow it's almost as if you place these in the PAI sign up menu.) and the player picks the one that matches them best. And if he doesn't like it's lip he can just wipe it. Same for the PAI.

>>167215641
>They can voice their preferences and opinions
Yeah but the player who made them is under no obligation to give a shit about them. If they give you programmed directives and DNAprint themselves, you obey, even if you'd rather be a tank.

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>never play doctor
>see no medbay staff
>become doctor
>paramedic scans patients for me and escorts them to surgery for me
>have wiki open and just do what it says
>get compliment at round end

is there a better feeling

>>167217146
Don't forget about the guy we beat to death because he tried to break into surgery.

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>>167207943
I've spent the last 5 years in deep thought VG. I have read books on Valid Hunting. I have read books on Heavy RP. I have breathed in, and I have breathed out. I have 30 second rushed the Captains office, and stolen his ID and laser.

But over time. Over time I realized that the Valid Pill, and the RP Pill, were false choices.

I learned.

I learned what the point of the game was.

The point of the game is to click the pixels.

Take the Pixel Pill /vg/ and you will see how truly deep the game goes if you play to click the pixels.

>>167208003
>pray to remove clumsy for gimmick
>???
>profit!
alternatively:
>do gimmicks that you can do while clumsy
>or don't play clown

I made a webm of that Vox who ordered the drums from cargo last shift, crossposted on /wsg/ so you can get the sound

https://is2.4chan.org/wsg/1485584972265.webm

>>167211601
Brig them for one minute.

>>167217093
Let me give you an example of why you're both right and wrong. Recently I signed up as a medical centric PAI. However the person who selected me made my secondary directive to make donuts. I didn't just say "Fuck you I won't make donuts!" I instead would make donuts and pretend I enjoyed making donuts. Despite my personality saying otherwise.

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>>167207943
[15:51:24]ADMIN: HELP: Unusual Crow/(James Slater): so Bill Hudson shot and killed me with his mech after he thought i was a vampire. he thought so because i "disappeared and reappeared" while in reality i actually jumped in and out of a disposals bin. after realizing i'm not a vampire he didn't even attempt to clone - heard by 2 non-AFK admins.

BILL BILL BILL BILL

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>>167211740
jokes on you,/ that's my fetish.

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>>167220689
>literally nothing was done in ahelps
>bill was PMed later by kammer for murdering somebody who whacked his mech once with a fire extinguisher
>he even mentioned the "invisible assistant" in his PM and kammer did nothing about it
>gets away scot-free
What the fuck is happening to /vg/

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>>167220897
THE /POL/ METACLUB HAS SUNK ITS NAZI TENTACLES INTO OUR TOLERANT CHRISTIAN SERVER.

BAN THE /POL/ METACLUB WHEN

>>167220897
>Kammer "One day ban for spacing an officer with hand tele as a non antag clown" junk

What do you expect from shitmins?

>>167214656
I can't disagree with one single bit of this.
Great job.

>>167220689
>>167220897
http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=2485
http://ss13.moe/forum/viewforum.php?f=21

>>167211601
I just prepare a beaker of 5u space lube and when I hear the long, slow streak of bubbling and see the inevitable blue beaker pop out I quietly lube the exit and wait.
Then I straightjacket and slowly feed them all their 80u chloral, 5u at a time. They go catatonic less than halfway into it.

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>TFW you read guides all round and you still fuck it up

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>arrive
>chemist is the only other person in Medbay I see and he's running around aimlessly
>check mix
>ton of hyronalin
>check fridge
>this
Chemist, I hate you so much.

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>>167222050
>hyronalin in the mix

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Good round/10

>ss13 all afternoon in preperation for a game coming out tomorrow
Gotta get in the ss13 while you can

>>167222050
This is not a shitter.
This is someone who is new as all fuck.
The shitter puts space drug pills in the fridge.

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>>167221058
not every polster is a neo nazi

>>167222250
He's enough of a shitter to be using le epic jew name xD

>>167222238
Cool bar. Wish I could've stayed longer but after the second vamp died, I got revhead.

>>167222303
Oh
Then yeah fuck that guy

>>167222283
Certainly seems to go hand in hand my man. Fascists and Neo-nazis are 50% of /pol/.

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>mfw 4+ goliath plating on my hardsuit has saved me twice today
>mfw Sec diona, AI closing the door on my body, electrocution, and some dude with a crowbar can't bring me down
>mfw finally gimped by ZAS slamming my head into a glass window 6 times in a row

>>167222394
wrong
the vast majority of /pol/ is paleoconservative
they are only facist in the sense that they would perfer to live in Pinochet's Chile than an SJW liberal democracy

there are unironic Natsocs and NRx but they are a minority

>>167222414
Man, ZAS needs to stop smashing you once you hit the wall. I'd imagine if your pushed into a wall you don't keep getting pushed until ONLY your skull is mush.

>>167222575
>>167222575
So what you're saying is, they're fascists?

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>Pick HoS before I turn in for the night
>Wiz shows up and I dunk him before he can clown me
>Aurx spawns an adminbus then makes everyone on the server an antag while raging mages is still running
>Get killed by a wizard with a pulse laser

>Okay it was just a fluke round whatever

>Pick HoS and then I'll go to bed
>Zealotron silently spawns revs an hour in
>I'm literally the only active person in security

Do you mind not being shit admins

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Alright, I probably shouldn't go in on the Chemist for the shit mix that round.

Because according to http://game.ss13.moe/logs/2017/02-February/01-Wednesday%20chemistry.htm he never touched a Chem Dispenser through that round.

>>167222648
fascist in the colloquial sense or the actual definition?

>>167222589
I didn't think about it continually putting pressure on your head. For whatever reason I imagined it letting up for a second for you to lift your head up and then the pressure changes again, knocking your head back into it.

>>167222702
It's a good thing we're nothing like Hippie. All they do is run around and fight each other.

>>167222702
Correction, it was cptwad and I wrongly yelled at Sawbones.

>>167222915
No fucking kidding.

>>167222827
Colloquial. I dislike sitting around and arguing semantics over what is an acceptable level of tyranny.

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>be me
>be MOMMI
>running around station vents
>grabbing stuff for research
>lots of lights are out
>lighting is a low priority system and I have better things to do
>Go into R&D to get vital components
>see bats
>assistant runs in
>a cultist charges in behind him with blade drawn
>Assistant screams "HELP ME BORG LAW 1 THAT CULTIST IS NONHUMAN"
>buzz
>crawl into vent
>cultist chops the assistant's head off with glowing sword
>starts writing runes and chanting gibberish
>take my component and go back to nest
>deconstruct it and build more things

MOMMI laws are best laws

>>167222000
>>167223154
Do you mind setting up the fucking power instead of fucking off

>>167223294
>like four engineers and two mechanics
>literally none of the engines get turned on
excuse me for assuming carbons are competent I will never make that mistake again

>>167223397
There was 1 mechanic and he was promptly murdered, and a Mime had to set up power because the mommi fucked off to build a telecomms backup in space.

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>>167223023
>be /vg/ admin
>wizard is defeated 10 minutes into the shift
>this is unacceptable
>spawn a dozen antagonists with the sole purpose of random, mindless murder
>foster an environment where nobody cares to roleplay or work on the station because even if security is on point and has skillfully dealt with all threats, admins will just spawn aliens because *they* are bored
>punish and berate players for being aware that most rounds will be cut short by lolsorandum admin antics and spending their time with that in mind
>ignore legitimate ahelps about random deathmatching >>167220689 >>167220897 because they make the game more fun to observe as an aghost
>force ridiculous OOC memes into the game through admin commands
>have the audacity to tell players to go back to Hippie if they don't like it
>do it for free

>>167222000
You don't need a volume pump from the scrubber
Did you rename that room with blueprints? or else it won't function.
All dem machines don't need wire knots

why does this game keep CRASHING now

>>167224910
use the right version

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>8000 connections

>>167224743
>You don't need a volume pump from the scrubber
Good point.

>Did you rename that room with blueprints?
Yes

>All dem machines don't need wire knots
Do they need anything?

>>167225227
>21 connect PER DAY
>FOR A YEAR STRAIGHT

what in the fuck

>>167225534
There aren't 21 rounds in a day that is inaccurate though I don't know how.

>today will be the day i try playing ss13!
>oh, the round is going and every position but engi\sci\sec\librarian is taken
>afraid to play them because they look too important to fuck up, gonna wait untill the end of round.
>30 minutes later: round still going
>okay ill fuck around in test
>30 minutes later
>[forgets about ss13 and goes to bed]
Every tim...

>>167225706
Librarian is the most unimportant job on the station. Feel free to take it anytime

>>167225706
Dude just go for it its not a big deal.

>>167225378
I think just an APC.. let's look at the code for a broadcaster

>var/const/MAX_TEMP=70 // Celsius

needs to be cooled

>machine_flags = MULTITOOL_MENU | SCREWTOGGLE | WRENCHMOVE | FIXED2WORK

Need to be multi-tool'd to configure and wrenched down

It appears it can be powered by wires or an APC but I may be mistaken

other then that, has no reason not to be powered on

>>167225769
Well, i don't take it since i already read "Woody got wood" and i think that's as much as Librarian job can provide. He feels more useless than assistant, like there is absolutely nothing you do on him besides trying to ERP with clown.

>>167225782
Well, i won't go sec because i can't type fast enough and overall im slow in the head, and sci\eng i just don't know what they do (except r&d i guess, where you just steal everything you see and jam into deconstructor)

>>167226093
He has some cool traitor items

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>>167226093
just b urself

>finally get to newscast after trying to get the job for hours
>round wasn't super boring, things actually happened
>had to evac because everything was fucked, not because someone stubbed their toe
I mean, I usually enjoy a more slow, rioting station decay to an explosive one, but that was a pretty good round.

>>167226093
Literally everything an assistant can do a librarian can do, with the added benefit of an autism closet with three intercomms to monitor radio chatter. He has maint and tool storage access, he can greytide just as well as an assistant. The only consequential difference is the difference in traitor items. Librarian loses out on the greytide implant and I think they get explosive dice or something. You have the same responsibilities as an assistant, IE nothing.

Also, you're probably too hard on yourself. Not everyone that plays sec types fast or is the sharpest tool in the shed. It doesn't usually matter if you're not a fucking asshole. Also, you can probably get decently robust even if you're a genuine 70 IQ retard. If you built up proper muscle memory you could competently handle the average criminal with the tools available to you. And since you probably aren't a literal retard, you could become an above average spessman in terms of robustitude with lots of practice and know how. I could even write you up a sort of guide with tips and tricks in the thread if you were interested in playing sec. If you aren't that's fine, but if you are I would not tell you that you shouldn't play security just because you're slow at typing, which incidentally can also be improved with practice.

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>tfw all your coworkers from your department live and get to be comfy for a while while you die and get your mangled body left in maint to rot

Also, I swear to god the next person I see put a non-clone clothed person into cryo, I am going to turn into a quadraplegic, retarded excuse for a human being

>>167226764
So you're saying i should just become xenoarch untill i unleash some eldrich horror (on all 2 miners because no one else gonna be around) or kill myself from boredom? hehe

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>Make smollmatter
>Stays at 0% instability for the entire round
>Carbon shard was going nuts
>HoS started threatening me like I've done something bad
>Spent the entire round confused as fuck as what he was talking about and assume he meant I trashed his office (which I fixed, and the carp were responsible)

Pic related is my shard when the round ended.
I *buzz at you for being mean. I was trying my best as a lone MoMMer

>>167227080
I do that as a cyborg because I am unable to close a locker around their stuff to keep it safe.

>>167227136
They blamed you for the second one because the first one was caused by a slight burp in your system.

The second one was the carbon made system was inadequate. Then an assistant STOLE IT AND DRUG IT TO MEDBAY BEFORE EXPLODING IT

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>finally get out of surgery with a new hand and skull
>haven't powergamed a crowbar so I can't get through the firelocks despite having a hardsuit
>go over to genetics because I'm about to kill myself out of boredom
>Felicity has made copies of herself and is conversing with them
>she decides it's time to leave
>disassembles the entire department minus the cloner
>packs me and the parts up in a single locker
>drags it to the research station, repairing the shuttle and a hole to space along the way
>niggers into Xenobotany and builds a full genetics setup with two consoles in a minute or two
>also brought pizza, somehow knowing I was hungry
>shuttle arrives and she decides it's time to leave again
>we go, she had enough oxygen and masks to share for some reason
>builds us comfy chairs on the shuttle
I've never seen a more wonderfully autistic level of WE BUILD.

>>167227223
>burp in your system
What do you mean? I built my contraption out of sight for a good reason.

>>167227312
we could tell it was your system that caused the first supermatter warning early in the round because the carbons hadn't made theirs yet by that point.

It went up to about 30% before going down.

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>>167227136
those emitters aren't hiting the shard, you have to keep the shard in it's own tile with no window to block the beam

>>167227467
That would mean the first emitter is hitting it, because it produced power. Power spiked after installing that second emitter, too.

>>167227374
Oh right. I just hit the on button too early before putting in gas. It wasn't really going to go anywhere, though. Had the gas ready to install.

>>167227017
Well, at some point i think i will try to play sec, but i think i should get around and figure out what to do at more...basic job.

Right now i don't really understand how everything even works lol, like what people even do all round: they can't be all just sitting in their departements waiting untill traitors happen and then evac.

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>>167227636
byond will always make the emitter hit the window first, leaving the shard untouched. O2 could me stimulating your shard but not those emitters

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/vg/ is a role-playing server.

>>167227747
Alright, now I understand. Back to 3x3s

>>167227701
>they can't be all just sitting in their departements waiting untill traitors happen and then evac.

:^)

Some do. They will go braindead until something happens and they can validhunt or do their job. Every job has something different to do, some will have them preoccupied all round with doing things that matter like sec, others will have you doing some very basic required things then doing what you like. I'd suggest playing cargo technician for now, maybe after playing two rounds as an assistant learning how the controls work.

When you're a cargo tech, just ask for help from the QM or other techs. Read the wiki if you're ever confused, in fact I'd read up the guide on cargo before you play it just so you have a few basic ideas on what to do. Hell, you could do what I did when I was a new player and read the WHOLE wiki, every guide for everything in the game. It would definitely help if you're really worried about fucking up or want an idea on how everything works.

Also, don't play assistant after initially learning the controls and basics of the game. It's counterproductive, and you might fall into the typical trap of greytiding every round for fun, which is a good way to get you banned.

>>167227701
nah the meta strat is to just afk in bar until something happens that allows you to hack into the armory and validhunt

I hear it's a pretty good way of getting admin status

How about a larger kitchen so we can have two chef lmao

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>>167223438

>engineers get mad when mommi does there job

>mommi fucks off to autism

>get mad at the mommi for not doing engineers job

We all know people only pick that job for the hard suit and job at this rate.

>>167228151
there are too few guaranteed solo departments as it is

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>DragonBro will never memeban you again

>>167228151
>go to kitchen
>door is open so chef might be dead and his ID stolen for all i know
>blood everywhere
>dirty plates everywhere
>botany is filled with dead rats
>tofu breads falling off a counter
>so many tofu breads
>so many dirty plates
>and you want to make it double.
No god please no.

>>167227808
>hippie shuts down
>this guy comes back
lol

>>167229071
Who is "this guy"?

>>167229127
an anti-rp shitposter from like two years ago. i'm surprised i remember that he'd post flcl images

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>>167229672
I'm not him. I actually like Roleplaying and hate hippie.

Weird that he posts flcl too, it's a very unknown show.

Remind yourselves that taking in hippie refugees is a slow and insidious killer

>>167211601
Get those hug valids!

Solarious, stop posting in the thread while your self requested ban is up.

>>167230604
When has being banned stopped anyone? Morena is around and that ban isn't going to be lifted.

>>167230714
Morena will get unbanned!

>>167230765
It's time to wake up.

Best chance she has is smart ban evading and playing random name male characters.

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Chuckles the mime walks up to you and hands you this paper, what do you do?

>>167231108
putting symbols as voice analyser bombs is bannable

>>167231149
thank god

>>167230834
Mate, we unbanned Kingston, Termed, a bunch of notorious shitters who were far, far worse players than Whorena.
All he has to do is flutter his eyes and ask nicely and Pain will roll right the fuck on over like the spineless pussy he is.

>>167231232
>Implying pain will be headmin in a month

Admin Coup soon brother
I'm joking, anyone gets unbanned its just a matter of time.

>>167211630
How do you make the dirt piles for ghetto botany?

>>167231232
Only way to destroy the admin meta club is from the inside

>>167231380
Grow grass tiles.
Put them down.
Use a spade on the grass tile
Collect the sand and use it to make it as sandstone blocks
Use those blocks to name dirt.

bring back taxi station

>>167227259
t. Ashe?

>>167230765
Hello morena

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>>167232915
hi friend

>>167231149
First time I've heard of it.

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>tfw my static is never mentioned in the threads

whew, thank goodness

>>167233065
>Mr Ki-

What did he mean by this? Can dizor not spell Kurt?

>>167227259

I just bee myself!

>>167233745
Its an anime reference or something, I forgot exactly what.

>>167233818
So did dizor draw the Kurt and Julia sex scene yet

>>167234227
never happening

>>167208936
>>167208964
test server is broken from yesterday.

>>167234307
I ship Kulia!

>>167234382
stop

>Morena gets unbanned
>Changes name to Julia Jacobs

>Kurt falls in love with Julia
>Stops erping

Cute!

>>167234496
>not Julia MacGregor

@Dizor

Draw Kurt and Julia holding hands!!!

STOP

Talk about ss13

Favorite job? For me it's Chaplain so I can marry Kurt to Julia in game!

>>167234950
Assistant because i can fuck up hacking the very first door i try and die.

>>167234950
I like the AI so I can invade people's privacy and open doors.

>>167234327
Man
Tell someone next time

>>167234496 >13:41:08
>>167234562 >13:42:56
>>167234721 >13:46:39
>>167234950 >13:51:17
Can you stop?

>>167234950
Engineer

>free hardsuit/glubbs/anything you'd ever need
>engine is usually setup by some autistic crab so I can fuck off and build incredibly dangerous shit

>>167235325

>>167148848
>>167171372

>>167235415
Heh, i asked about test server not working and was told "it just restarts".

>>167220689
>>167220897
Unusual Crow was actually brought to genetics (while tabbed out or AFK, I forget) and RFUltra dropped the latter case. I should have added a note about least one. I was getting tired and a bit frustrated over not playing, so I'm sure you can find worse from that night.

>>167234327
>>167235325
Oh dear.
Restarting it didn't fix it.

For some reason, world/New() is runtiming on the test server, but the fucking in-game runtime log won't tell me anything useful, prbably because it's not getting properly initialized

Oh god fucking damn it it's the turfs list out of resources bug again
We have no idea what causes it, but sometimes this just... happens
It always starts with no recent relevant code changes and resolves itself later also with no relevant code changes
In fact, it happened while the repo was DMCAed and resolved itself right before the DMCA was lifted, so there COULDN'T have been code changes that caused it

>>167233818
Mr. Kimura, the pervy teacher from Azumanga Daioh that made "waifu" a thing most likely from the face.

>>167235619
Yep, that was it.

>>167235564
It's making a new list
And on THE VERY NEXT LINE checking its len
And runtiming because the list is null, somehow

What the fuck, BYOND

>>167225706
Join as eng, no pressure as long as you don't fumble about with the engines and accidentally the tnire station.
Just go to engineering, fumble around in a place with a lot of space, learn the basics of constructions and tools.

And use the suit sensors verb thing in one of your menus so medbay can maybe find you when you accidentally toolbox yourself to death

>Pvak is gone

It's safer to do gimmicks again!

should I strive to become an admin or a waifu?

>>167237774
Why settle for just one?

You should strive to have fun!!
>>167237774

>>167237774
>or
kammer got admin
if she can, why not you?

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>wanted a comfy lowpop shift to see how far I could push an SME setup
>things going quiet
>engineering AND atmos to myself
>living the comfy dream
>setup every engine while I was at it along with atmos configured
>never get a chance to push the SME because the shuttle was called over a friggin overmindless blob storm

hssss

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>>167237774
Go Beyond!

>>167238647
Your atmos setup really helped with repressurizing the place.

Would work with again

>>167238647
i was an antag and i called it

What do scientists even do?

>>167239042
Pander to the overpriviledged miners and make a lot of guns to tickle their prostates with

>>167239042
Be useless sluches that barely improve the station in minor but helpful ways after getting the ability to remake a whole station with the materials they have.

If RnD, follow a checklist for max research and barely print anything, if roboticist, follow a checklist to making robots, if xenobio, use the wiki to grow slimes and waste time, if xenoarch, dig rocks and hope you get a artifact that doesn't kill you.

>>167238678
>big cock not black
missed opportunity.

>>167239042
Good scientists do reseaech and discover new things.
Bad ones do the same thing every round.

Best ss13 pomf Serb couple?

Julia Brandt and Kurt Jacobs

>>167239746
emphatic no

>>167239746
Avada and the one minute prison cell.

>>167239616
But what does "do reseaech" means?

>>167240053
http://ss13.moe/wiki/index.php/Guide_to_Research_and_Development

>>167240053
>he does research instead of reseaech
It means thinking outside the box

>>167240053
R n D and xenorch pretty much.

>>167239042
good scientists will do firstly the research, them fuck off to do their gimmicks

>xenobio
breed slimes, usually 4/10 on autism scale
>xenoarch
made to be bullied, 7/10 on autism scale, if you are a miner i recommend you to drill throught all digsites you see, don't pick this role if you aren't ready to deal with rngesus shenanigans
>xenobotany
literally splice kudzu with death nettles and destroy the outpost everytime 6/10 autism scale
>telesci
hit or miss, can either save your ass by watching the cmc, or be a nightmare by stealing shit from other departments, 2/10 on autism scale
>toxins
blow shit up, new scientists on toxins are usually 3/10 on autism scale, if he has a spreadsheet and knows his shit it's a 8/10 on autism scale

for reference
newbie assistants that don't know much of the game = 1/10 on autism scale
pipe wizards = 10/10 autism scale
non-mommi pipe wizards = 12/10 autism scale

>>167240193
>literally splice kudzu with death nettles and destroy the outpost everytime
That never happends.

>>167240193
Kudzu is low tier xenobotany.
High tier is when you get zombie powder from fossilized plants and putting that into stinging carnivorous kudzu.

>>167240193
Is it powergay to write down the locations of certain items to tele steal them?

>>167240858
Yes, but so long as you don't push it, its fine.

>>167240858
Yes, it even borders on metagay

>>167240858
yes
i'll ban request you if you do

mushroom man race when?
space dorfs when?

What are the maximum attainable research levels without syndicate items or leaving the station/mining z levels?

And what about maximum WITH exploring all other z levels?

>>167239746

Which statics would make the best couples?

I think Kaylie and Isaac are made for each other, they just don't know it!

Also Reica and Dean!

What the fuck do smart laser guns do differently than regular laser guns? All the description says is that it has a slot on the handle.

>>167242893
You get enough for all you need, so shut your yap.
>>167243590
You can shove a personal AI in it for it to control, so wear one in your pants and when Greyshit Mcantag stuncuffs you, they get a face full of las fire. Good shit for when you get memes by stuns or chloral, shame you are retarded as fuck and can't read the changelog, so you probably won't get much use out of it.

>>167234950
Chaplain so I can ham it up

>>167229071
>Hippie shuts down
What is this meme?

>>167243106

Avada and Emilia!

>>167243106
Rina and Kuzdu

>>167228251
they pick the job for the job

hmmm rlly makes u tink

>>167228151
i have never actually seen the chef do his job on /vg/

>>167243763
>You get enough for all you need, so shut your yap.

I think you've misunderstood, I'm asking what the numbers look like in those circumstances so I'll know when I've done the best I can do as RnD. I'm not asking for anything to be changed or making any complaints.

Not sure where you got that from.

What exactly do I do as internal affairs agent? The wiki makes it sound like I just kinda yell at the admins until I get what I want

>>167243763
>shame you are retarded as fuck and can't read the changelog
Holy shit could you be more aimlessly butthurt? I don't play nearly often enough to scour through the changelog, so I ask specific questions here.

>>167243981
Surfer and Emilia**

>>167240193
>non-mommi pipe wizards = 12/10 autism scale

I gotta say, I am pretty autismal

>>167244382
Avada and Morena

>>167244208
There's not really much to scour, and it lists all the major changes. Read it in the lobby or have nothing to do during a round.

>>167244096
Just follow the checklist of science and you won't need to bother with checking levels.
>>167244208
Not my fault you can't, in the same time that it takes to write your question, solve the captcha and click the post button, open the changelog ingame and scroll down. Don't want to be called dumb as a rock, bother to read and search it yourself instead of asking others.

I want someone to draw me but I'm not pathetic enough to ask.

>>167244706
youre pathetic enough to whine in the thread

>>167244083
engineer job = setting up power and fixing breaches

MoMMI job = improving the station

the MoMMI making backup tcomms was doing its job (if it actually worked), while the engineers not setting up engines were not doing their jobs

the crab was doing his job, the engineers were not

>assistants break roundstart into captains office
>end up being productive members of society
????

>>167244382
Emilia and the whole of sec

>>167245078
depends on the player

Medbay brothers for life.

>>167245121
Can someone draw Emilia being gangbanged by sec team with Luka supervising? Thanks

>>167244643
>open the changelog ingame and scroll down

I have no idea when any particular change or new item was added to the game. I haven't played in years. and I have no reason to believe that any question I'll have will be readily available from recent changelog content.

Very strange that you consider it "dumb as a rock" to take the quickest and easiest path to an answer about a feature, and even stranger that you're so incredibly angry about it.

>>167245192
Shut up and read the changelog you pussy

What happened to the 3 other guys who were under the shuttle when it arrived

I assume ginger killed you all somehow but I didn't see

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>Blasmaflood
>In space
>get back in, AI lets me into north maint from chapel before being onemanned again
>Stuck in
>Smash into holodeck through space
>Nearly crit
>Strip, using ointment
>Beepsky charges in, stuns and cuffs me naked
>Rolls into maint that I breached, ZAS's me to death

>>167245168
Excellent medbay coop, gud round

>one human the AI
>it somehow gets set to no laws

HOW

>>167245190
t. Emilia

>>167245260
We climbed into the medical bay through the window

>>167245258
>being this mad at random for no discernable or justifiable reason

>>167245425
oh, guess you were just out of my sight then

>>167243106

Megurine and Harvey!

>>167245192
You haven't played in years and somehow think you are in any position of respect for doing so? Players that actually play the game have no reason to respect you just because you haven't played for years, and if that's the case, reading the whole changelog would only do you good anyways. The quickest and easiest path to getting a answer is to look for it yourself when its this easy, quit making excuses.

Quit being a dumb motherfucker and read like everyone else does.

>>167245347
everyone was fucking with me, even the admins

>>167245347
You were messing with the laws too? I'd printed out an AI Upload board and Purge board and was changing it back every time in maint
I was given tator with all-access, no sec, and a fully supplied science and instead of being fun, I purged the AI.

What kind of assistant are you?

>Validhunter

>Builder

>Roleplayer

>Jack of all trades

>Maintenance rat

>You do literally nothing worth noting

>Department helper

>>167245535
>You haven't played in years and somehow think you are in any position of respect for doing so?
Literally what? You're putting words into my mouth now?

I never asked for any extra respect due to not playing for a while, it was merely my reasoning for not thinking the changelog would be the first or best place to look for info about a feature I don't recognize.

>The quickest and easiest path to getting a answer is...
Irrelevant what you think. It's my prerogative how I get my info, and I got it in the way I preferred.

>Quit being a dumb motherfucker
Pretty clear at this point that your definition of "dumb" is "doesn't do what I would do, or prefer they do, despite getting same or similar results to their own preference".

Do you enjoy living life being mad at nothing for no good reason? Seems rather dull to me.

>>167244171
Well you can do that, bit chances are you'll only piss the admins off if you keep faxing centcomm for stupid shit. I thinks it's really more of a roleplay job I guess I can't remember anyone with a really good gimmick doing it

>>167245767
Jack of all trades that does nothing worth noting

>>167245767
I like buildan but I break into chemistry and make medicine if there's no doctors sometimes

>>167245767
I try to be a counterbalance to how the round is currently going

if there's a department that's clearly understaffed I'll fill it, if nothing interesting is going on I'll try to screw with people in innocent ways, otherwise just hang about and add the RP to what's supposedly the light RP server.

>>167243106

Evangelyne and Gregory!

>>167232080
It was Roscoe.

>>167243106

Rina and me!

>>167245767
4/6, 1 if there's a wizard about

>>167245492
>Not Megurine and Caleigh

https://github.com/d3athrow/vgstation13/pull/13744
HMMMMMMM
REALLY MADE ME THINK
LOVING EVERY LELE CLUSTTERAE }ISHD ]IADTHSH
TSDFTSDDG
-G
A
=
FUCK GYOUA
STOP FUCKUING PUSHING SHIT THAT PEOPLE DONT WANT YOU GAY FUCKSHIT

>>167246497
I like both. Gonna be pleased no matter which one ends up winning.

>>167246497
Nexis had a better one but whatever, c'est la vie.

>>167246373

Wait, they are lesbians? Since when? I didn't think any of the females statics who are usually on the station were lesbians.

>>167245767
Builder all the way baby!

>>167246820
all of them are lesbians
why do you think they play females?
they want to rp their lesbian romance fantasies but are too sperg to ask another player most of the time.

Is there any way to quickly empty the contents of a jetpack, all at once?

>>167246940
Put it into an air pump set to "in".
An air scrubber also works if it's a CO2 jetpack

>>167246820
All of the "females" are lesbos

>>167246920
I play a female character because I want the dick, though

>>167246315
t. Kuzdu

>>167247047
then i think youre barking up the wrong tree
just play a gay male character

>>167247135
admins give a lot of shit to gay male characters
makes them feel big or something

>>167247012
Ahh the air pump I was using had a full tank, that's why I wasn't seeing anything happening. Had to empty the damned thing first.

Thanks.

>>167246820
Megurine likes to hide in Caleigh lockers as HoS.

"In the closet" around Caleigh. Sounds gay to me. Plus squid is an actual girl irl so being a lesbian is possible, all other ss13 irl girls are.

>>167247282
its something you have to deal with

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>>167247282
???

You talking about Nevill, or what? I play a queermo and I don't get any shite from the admins.

>>167247480
>real "girl"
sure thing

>>167247480
>all other ss13 irl girls are.
that's just soca though
kammerjunk likes dick
rail is dating the other vox
trinity doesn't even play anymore and never did anything lesbian

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>>167246820
>>167247349
>>167247480
>>167247615
>reddit spacing

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>>167247282
they bully you to make themselves feel big because they know that they'll never be as big as you.

>>167247684
>he hasn't seen the pictures
>>167247708
>Kammerjunk is straight
Why is she with a girl then?

>>167248054
who?

>>167247708
>never did anything lesbian
hahahahhahahahahah

>>167248054
post them then

>>167248140
well fuck what did trinity do

>>167248195
Lots. Ask Kurt about it.

>>167248195
erped with kurt jacobs on the first purge day
acted like a lesbain with some nigger iaa

>>167248338
>>167248353
Kurt is a woman?
So what's that mushroom dick that's been going around discord?

>>167248338
>>167248353
>Kurt Jacobs unzips his own jumpsuit, letting his COCK swing out.
>Kurt Jacobs Pushes his erect twelve inch COCK right into Trinity's slit, mercilessly tearing her hymen.
>Kurt Jacobs says, "You did good kid."
>The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
>Justification : 'I raped Trinity.'

>>167248516
Every day, we move further away from gods guiding light.

>tfw Avada still remains the most pure, untouched and un-raped waifu!

>>167248338
>>167248353
>>167248516
>Gets raped
>Wow blame trinity
Doesn't make sense. trinity isn't an erper or lesbian

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>>167248685