/mkg/ - Mobile Kanojo/Kareshi General

First for needy

>>163573197
Ragtag, pls, no need to make Laggen jealous.

>>163573197
(you)

It's Shara's birthday on the 24th. Don't forget to overlook her for Christmas Eve.

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offline tells us it's Shara's birthday, but she doesn't deserve any birthday wishes because she tried to take over the world and only gives a shitty acc. gacha ticket.

>>163573197
You should stick to putting bad jokes in the spoiler instead of bad tsunshit.

>>163576934
I dun give a shit, tsuns4life.

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Ragtag-senpai banzai! banzai!

>>163576921
>>163576901
Her birthday event is just her chuunily complaining that it's on Christmas eve.

>How many times have I cursed this birthday...
>Like every year it will coincide with Christmas... Do you understand this feeling!!
>Why does it have to be like this!! The 24th is Christmas Eve!!
>That being said, my fellows, It's fine to celebrate grandly!! Fu-hahahahahaha!!

>>163577912
I've always pitied those whose birthday is between December 23 and January 2.

So you know anons, don't have unprotected sex between March and May.

>>163577912
>not being prideful that she is the second coming of Christ

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>>163573197
I love these Christmas outfits.

>>163583018
I love you

>>163584142
Who is >>163583018?

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Ok, so I used to play MOE Can Change last year, but in August 2015 my phone broke, and I lost my transfer data. I recently got a new phone, and I want to start playing again. How much has changed since August 2015? Is it worth it to play again?

>>163585076
It's almost the same, just more gachas, hairs and eyes.

You could ask the in-game support if you want to recover your old account.

>>163585076
It's never been worth playing.

>>163585206
When did that ever stop anyone?

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>>163585158
You think they'd be able to do that? I thought in the past they said it was impossible. I'm not sure if I should start over or try to recover my stuff. Starting over would be like a breath of fresh air, but I do miss my old Myroid, Mitzi.

>>163585337
You could try, play a new account while you wait for support's reply.

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>>163585673
Alright, I'll try that. I'll update to see if that works. And sorry for shit images, I don't have anything related to MOE Can Change on my laptop.

>>163586128
>I don't have cute moe girls saved on my laptop
What?

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>>163586128
Moe deficiency is a very serious problem.

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>>163587476
Does this count as a cute moe girl?

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Been out of the loop for a while, anything new and noteworthy?

>>163590125
For instance, the new eyes and the discord cartel is strong.

I was supposed to have dressed my girls today.

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Ok, update. I sent in my info, and I'm waiting for a response. In the mean time I've gone and started anew, and frankly, I think I might just keep this new girl instead of going back to my old one. She's quite plain looking right now, but I'm racking up the free AP so that later on I can make her look interesting. I've named her Minnie, since I wanted a name similar to Mitzi.

>>163590874
Quite fuckable

>>163591705
Thanks, I suppose. In other news, I added myself to the User List since I'd like to become more involved with the community. My master name is Rolfe.

You first.

Merry christmas from the future.

Post Christmas moes ya carnts,

>gloves
>scarf
>ring
>teddy
>can of coffee
So which gift are you going to give to each of your girls?

Btw I have Hidenori and Itsuki on pending requests, and if I try accepting it says their friend lists are at max. I've seen with other people it was a glitch, so I had to reject and send my own request to fix it. If this is the case for you, Hidenori and Itsuki, let me know and I will reject + send f.r. But if it's actually full, that's fine too.

>Girl Talk
>long statuses
>Live2D
>voice acting
>better social features

Is DG finally the MCC killer?

>>163606438
Scarves. Scarves for everyone.

>>163608124
>shit no one cares about
>shit no one will read
>rare shit
>ara ara~
>shit no one will use

>>163608124
Only the 3rd and 4th one are relevant and since clothes that matter are harder to come by it means that you aren't going to change as often.

>>163608124
You can't kill what is already dead

>>163606438
Are we supposed to roll gacha or make the gifts before a certain point in the event?

>>163608124
Congratulations, it managed to stab the rotting corpse.

>>163611220
You can only give gifts when you're finished with one area. So you should be rolling all throughout.

>>163606438
Ring, Teddy, Gloves, Scarf and Scarf. In that order.

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>>163607774
It's probably a glitch on both sides. Try sending me a request, I'm Itsuki

>>163610005
>implying one of the main reasons people shit on DG wasn't that they wanted to RP in their intros

>>163606438
So far I've given a ring to Alice, coffee to Wendy and a Teddy to Sophie.

I remember I gave an scarf, but I forgot to whom.

>>163606438
I've managed to give Minnie a scarf and the gloves.

>>163612098
Sent! Now if only I can get Hidenori added, I'll finally be rid of the friend request notification.

HS cards when?

>>163624594
HS cards?

>>163627823
Aren't we Honey Select general?

>>163631231
We haven't been lewd dress up gen in ages.

>>163611876
But to whom did you give those to?

>>163590125
Everyone you knew and appreciated is now dead.

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Merry Christmas, everyone.

>>163632795
To my girls, obviously.

>>163639512
Who are your girls?

>tfw you will never spend Christmas with Colors.

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>>163640501
Says you, once she sees the gift I got her she won't be able to resist.

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I managed to make Minnie look how I wanted her to look fairly quickly. Merry Christmas. Well, Christmas Eve.

Ded on Christmas eve.

What are you giving to your fellow /mkg/ers?

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>>163644791

Christmas should be more lively.

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Is this lewd or am I over thinking it?

>>163645860
Only if you're some kind of arborist fetishist.

>>163624594
Check the discord.

>>163646797
But everyone would know it was me if I were to join right after this.

>>163649036
Who cares nerd, get in here.

>>163649786
Leon, pls.

I can't see a shit in there, where do I look?

>>163645564
kurisumasu is shit besides the kurisumasu lewds

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The limited period sale is about to end, so if you want to get these soft looking pajamas and some Christmas themed backgrounds now is you chance!!

>>163652041
, now is your chance!!*
//I'm too tired for this

>>163634294
nothing new then

>>163649982
You gotta ask, since nobody has them compiled.

>>163652041
>N
Literally who cares?

>>163653387
>I'm an MR-only memer

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>>163650738
>Lewds

Cute Santa costumes are also fine.

daed

Next DB event started. I put in all my tickets but no tie up. So foolish of me, I always restrain myself and leave 20+ tickets in stock. It's really true that if you don't get a tie up in your ideal ticket allowance then you won't get it at all, or I guess unless you buyfag more rolls.

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Here was the "practice writing" from before, I wouldn't have bothered to ask for it to be put in the content if it weren't for the new story.
http://pastebin.com/GSfZcu43

Here's the new stuff.
http://pastebin.com/cg8scRWH

Feel free to criticize.

>>163657934
dead

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pls dont expire

>>163661853
It's mechanical. Smut isn't just actions, but sensations, emotions, and the kind of thoughts that happen alongside the action. To put it into more robot-y terms, you're not just describing sense data input, you should also describe how that data is processed, the subjective experience of sense data.

just woke up from christmas eve drinking
merry kristmass guys

>>163675807
Merry Christmas to you and your moes.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Sarali rolled for me
Twelve Tapjoy Failures
Eleven Elven Archers
Ten Shara's Plottings
Nine Business Ladies
Eight Irara's Shippings
Seven Shared Saralis
Six Kanna Stoppings
FIVE MYROID RINGS~
Four goddamn dupes
Three energy drinks
Two mismatched wigs
And a common in a "rare guaranteed"!

>>163672778
I thought I put some of that in there.
This is way harder than writing about normal things.

>>163680726
Don't underestimate smut.

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>>163606438
Gloves to Umi, scarf to Hatsuko, ring to Sora, teddy to Hoshi and coffee to Yama.

Felt kinda bad about the can of coffee afterwards though.

>>163683740
Yeah, guess it's too hard for me. Probably better for everyone involved if I just give up. It's strange that it's harder than my college classes, but that's probably why I'm not some kind of art major.

Don't die!

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>>163685006
Don't give up! Writing is something that you can always put aside for a few hours (or post it here asking for some feedback idk), and come back to edit and improve it. In my opinion, the new story was a little more absorbing than your first one, even though it wasn't anything new plot wise.

My suggestions would be to add feelings and reasonings behind the character's actions.
Also, try adding some adjectives to the characters and their actions, so the sentences feel less chopped/boring and more captivating. Because so far the whole thing went similar to "she did *blank* and her body looked like *blank*. He did *blank* with her *body part*. '*spoken sentence*' " and repeat. (I'm exaggerating this of course, so it's not that bad, don't worry). Another thing is, the plot seemed too cliché and too perfect/almost boring to me, but that may just be a problem with me and my taste in smut. The idea behind it was nice, though!
(I truly hope that I didn't come off as too nasty and strict here, since I've never done this before... I'd love to read some other stories of yours, that you'll (hopefully) come up with in the near future!)

>>163688540
What first one?

>>163688540
Also, I thought I had both of the things you complained about. It means that I don't see the problem specifically at all.

>>163689579
By the first one I meant the diary story, sorry for not being more descriptive about that!!
Also I might have been acting too picky and being too vague, so maybe your writing is fine?? I don't know a thing about proper story telling desu so don't take my opinions too seriously

It's hard to pinpoint what needs to be fixed, because it seems like everything is included there in the story, but it just seems so stiff and lifeless to me..

The only main thing that I noticed was the repetitiveness. Try calling the roid by her name/something else instead of "she/her" maybe

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>>163661853
If you make a version that's m/m or f/f I'll read and critique too.

>>163691895
I put it out there because I didn't know how to make it better, not because I thought it was good. I'm glad I just got at least one (you) out of this. I might rework the sentences and throw in some more "wet" and "she felt happy" around, if you think that'll help. I can't think of anything, anyway.

>>163693262
Sorry bud, anything I know about romance comes from action movies and manga. I know even less about gay stuff.

>>163690026
Two different people. But here's a line I saw when I picked a spot somewhere in the middle. Spoiler for lewd.

>He gave one mighty push, putting her on tiptoes and pressed even harder against the glass...[until the end of the paragraph, as well as the next few.]

Sounds stiff and mechanical. It's a turn off. He did this, she did this, so on and so on.

>>163693884
I'm just happy that you're contributing something original to the thread desu
Also I think that you got 3 (you)'s out of this

If I could write and/or draw, I would be posting things about DG and DB characters as well, but unfortunately I'm shy about my work (and lazy), so I applaud you for being able to post these here!!

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>>163661853
I fapped. Thanks for posting this.

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Finally

>>163697294
It's unfortunate the DB events unnecessarily give 10 variants of everything and the gachas and bags also have 3-10, I won't have closet room to dump stars on those new items. A mere 10 additional closet spaces costs 300 coins, DG gives a much better bargain, think 30 spaces for the equivalent or less. I'll have to discard some variants but I don't know which to part with.

>>163698198
I'm grateful that my standards in these games are very high, so I have no problems in getting rid of ugly outfits/accessories.
The storage issue seems to be something that affects every player, so it's disappointing that AMB keeps ignoring it though..

ded

>>163701784
Whatchu gonna do bout that?

>>163701889
I'm gonna give it to ya

>>163611378
Will anything be added to the gacha or i it safe to roll now?

>>163704410
Give what?

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>>163704936
Strange, I have this as the initial gacha set. It's clearly different from ours. Pretty sure it wasn't added to over the course of the nip event.

>>163705994
Must be a nightmare to get materials from.

>>163704946
>>163679506

Sub dominant.

>>163710213
The what?

>>163710213
Dominant submissives sound interesting

A cute girl forcing you to dominate her

>>163714115
Probably meant put dominant as the second personality for your girls

>>163714509
no i did not, see >>163714436

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ded

Show us your holiday moe spirit.

>>163721864
You first.

>>163721864
You first. (2)

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>>163721898
>>163723893
Okay.

Alright, let me make sure I have it summed up. You guys want:
Shorter
More emphasis on feelings
More varied sentences that aren't "he did, she did", throw in more adjectives

What the hell does the last part even look like for a sex scene? Got any examples?

>>163726026
Try reading "reputable" smut to get a sense of if. You can only get better with exposure and experience.

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>>163726615
???
This picture was a joke but I actually have no idea where to find such a thing

>>163726802
Click the first link and see what you find.

>>163726802
If you're having trouble finding single stories, you can simply search up some writing masterposts that deal with these!
Or just look at some of your favourite authors that also write smut and try to imitate their style/notice what makes their stuff stand out.

>>163728064
Didn't get a boner, must not have been that good.
>>163728679
I was hoping you could just give me things you jerk off to that hold the qualities you describe.

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>>163729281
>Fapping to words

>>163729281
Pretty needy, aren't you. Do you want us to just tell you it was good? If not, put some effort into improving yourself.

>>163730235
All I asked for were examples to check out, because I don't know very much. I always figured porn was a more visual medium.

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d'aww this rec on Seri

>>163730414
Don't listen to these schmucks, most "reputable smut" is barely better than your average green text story. Just try to be a bit more verbose/expressive.

>>163731617
Hey wait, that just gave me a good idea. I've never read any other smut besides the one I proofread and the one in that link, but I definitely know about greentext stories. Does anyone have that one about the never ever and the tomboy?

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>>163732017
>I've never read any other
Therein lies your problem.

>>163732218
Which one?

>>163734216
Sounds like you don't read proper books. Don't use greentext stories, action movies, and manga for your inspiration. If you do not read then you cannot write. There are some really good fanfics and online original fics out there but that's because the writers have read.

/mkg/ - Literature

/dkg/ - Dead Kanojo/Kareshi General

>>163740429
It's dead o clock in murrica.

Have any of you felt sad when a DeadRoid appears and talks about what they're doing for Christmas?

>>163741164
No.
Going on a date at a friend's house is strange however.

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I'll probably make him wear this outfit for a while

I haven't been here in forever, but I just started playing DB.
Anyone want to throw an invite code my way?