Spessmen on a Space Station - /ss13g/

Tikicha is a hero.

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>>126036420
>no LAST TIME ON
RUINED

>>126035031
oh wait you're one of those faggots that ditch the station before any cargo orders are done and without making sure anyone is actually delivering it, yeah great fucking job getting that dosh you'll never have to use man

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(CAN'T WAKE UP)

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Repost for any lurking mins.
I'm at my family's for a pretty decent Christmas vacation, but my siblings managed to get perma ip bannu last night for meta communicating ruptured lungs or something.
Wondering if there's anything I can do to have this reduced to a username ban, or for a period of time. I'm willing to include beatings, scoldings, or forced exposure to dank memes.
t. Terry Watson.

>>126037136
You lot always said you wanted a new antag type. Be careful what you wish for.

>>126037294
Use the forums.

>>126037294
good post oranges :^)

>finally get promoted to HoS so I can try to set Security straight
>start heading up to Security
>suddenly bombs
>thank god I have magboots and the hardsuit
>walk down to bridge to try and call shuttle and get to escape
>second set of bombings literally fucks my shit up
>i die right there in front of bridge and no one will ever remember my 5 minutes of service

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>>126037136
Are you for fucking real

>>126037362
I never asked for a new antag type faggot
You could import /tg/station Gang mode or something, fuck Meme.

>>126037508
don't worry, the bomber was brought to justice.

I was -wondering- why security didn't come to pick him up after I sealed him.

>>126037362
I don't have a ban for me, though.
Think it's still worth posting there if no action is resolved over a few days?

Can we please send that HoS and Warden back to reddit?
>order literally 3000 cow crates
>force feeding prisoners until fat is somehow appropriate punishmen

I like vox.

>>126037582
>gang mode
>implying anyone ever wants Revolution 2: Electric Boogaloo

FUCK NO.

>>126037794
B& for metagaming.

>>126037889
last round dumbass

>>126037794
David Bould please go.

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Remember to attend late night service at your local space Chapel every Sunday night!

>>126037921
Except he's right
I'm literally sick of retarded fucking HoS and other heads being in these positions
and I'm a TERRIBLE sec officer
But seriously tired of Shitheads and Shit Heads

>>126037612
New HoS got bombed
Me (officer) and the new captain got fucked up by the radiation and lack of air so we just kinda fucked off
Old HoS was chillin
Warden was braindamaged

>shout at Broswell for not following SOP as officer
>he freaks out that i'm shouting at him
>apologize
>Warden, HoS and Captain show up and start acting like retards
>team up with Broswell to get rid of them
>write a report to Central Command while Broswell gets wasted
>get permission to demote them
>tell the CMO who was fighting a war with Security, he tells me he has the Captain
>take the Captain, keep him knocked out with N2O for the rest of the round
>make Broswell the HoS and tell him to demote the HoS
>CE and Arie stay behind in his office while i clean up
>the Captain left the disk and pinpointer, threw the spare ID in his bedroom, smashed the antique laser gun's cabinet and carried all the armory's eguns with him
>suddenly bombs
>Get fucked by atmos for a bit
>make it to shuttle

What a fucking round.

>>126037918
The HoS and warden got banned for metagaming and the Captain got jobbanned.

Because of this stupid fucking game I'm seriously considering buying a jumpsuit for casual house wear

>>126037136
>>126037362
i havent played for a while, what's the new game mode?

>>126038059
>warden was braindamaged
well aint that a flashback and a half!

>>126038143
We you did great man
I appreciated being able to be HoS for 2 minutes. It was worth imo and extremely swell desu

>>126038160
That's like buying a naruto headband thing and wearing it around the house.

Just don't.

Daily reminder that all Xenoarchs are valid.

They are the reason there are rocky debris that blow you up on Gibtonite and all they do is jerk off to their plasma shitting artifact and bring death artifacts to the station.

Go nuts and kill any of those yellow suited faggots you see running around as a miner. They're either super autismos or lings so you should kill them either way.

I kill one every shift as a non antag and never get bwoinks. Pussy beta faggots never ahelp shit and so I get away with killing them for their Spur every time.

REMOVE XENOARCH remove xenoarch

>>126038343
But a naruto headband has literally no use besides being naruto merc

Jumpsuits are comfortable and easy to wear.

>>126038160
Dont forget to turn on your suit sensors when you do so the ambulance can find you when that changling comes for you.

>>126038330
Nah man, we were a team. Sorry for shouting at you early on.

>>126036420
>someone actually saved my oc

daaaaaaaaamn

Pomf dies

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Remove Vox from station immediately crew

>>126038802
Fucking spoiler that, you asshole.

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uhh so i wanted to get into this game so i downloaded byond n' shit and made an account, but for the past 30 minutes the game list hasn't loaded

Non-Human races spawning off station when?
It would be like Nations all the time, but with races.

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>>126038863
how about no

>>126039049
Top right gear. "Open Location" -> IP in OP.
Try to be quiet and learn, maybe observe a round first and READ THE WIKI.
You won't get spoonfed in the thread, so make friends.

>>126038863
Vox are literally the best, cutest race we have.

>>126038863
When are we removing that Jarjar Binks-tier bird race?

>>126038427
It protects your forehead though.

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>HELP: DoctorMad/(Walter Kifer) (?) (PP) (VV) (SM) (JMP) (CA) : DrCelt (?) is it true that you went to (eight)chan's /cuteboys/ to go find a trap faggot? First off you went to fucking 8ch which is basically faggotry on the double, but not only that you went there to be a uncultured faggot. going to (eight)ch to be an uncultured bartender for fuck sakes, what kind of administration is this? You're probably the one that got fucked in the ass too, considering you're being fucked in the ass NOW by your playerbase, how fucking shameful. Trap dick feels like fucking syringe prick. The fetishes I keep finding here are just getting odder and odder you fucking insane faggot, you should fuck off and never come back at this rate. You probably jerk off /vg/station husbandos too. Holy shit. If I ever hit this level I would just kill myself because at this point you are less useful than fecal waste. Someone like this should be the last person being an moderator here. Does Pomf123 have no self awareness? He's probably no better than you for letting you moderate this server. Did you bring him a trap as
>Player PM from-DoctorMad/(Walter Kifer): -as a sacrifice for being able to moderate the server? This would explain why Pomf123 is such an edgy faggot that doesn't like waifus. Niggerboos like you and him are fucking pathetic and need to go back to africa so you can go chuck spears here and get fucked by niggers so they don't fuck goats and pigs instead.

>>126039242
Never. Now go sit in the corner of your bedroom with your dunce cap, autismo. The adults who play more sophisticated races are talking.

>>126039215
Thanks

>>126039419
Dunce caps when?

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>>126039419
>3rd person speaking gyppos
>bird plus person
>sophisticated

>>126039323
DoctorMad is a massive autist.

>>126039419
Can skeletons be brought back? There were only like 3 skeleton shitters the rest actually did their jobs and were some of the best i've ever seen. They were bros to everyone except bird jews and no one even plays the plasma men race.

>>126039323
>Trap dick feels like fucking syringe prick.
I wonder if he's speaking from experience.

>>126038403
Waiter, this copypasta is stale.

>>126039495
and thanks for telling me to observe my first round or two,because i have no idea whats going on

>>126040219
>Only three skeleton shitters
Name three relevant players that weren't shitters except for Skeleton Steve.

>>126040379
Chaos is a normal thing, but with time you'll eventually learn the flow and be able to work in it. Of course sometimes all the experience in the world doesn't help, that's just the fact of life in spess.

>>126039646
Now I've got to be a pAI as a Puck gimmick.

There's already Black Swordsman and Schierke hairstyles. Dragonslayer Sword, Berserker Armor, and Behelit when?

>>126040379
What's your username?

>>126040547
Rattle Bones and Jones Bones are the only 2 that come to mind. There was a skeleton chemist who was really good as well.

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>>126040547
Me actually

>>126039156
>>126039219
>real life birds
>cute

>vox
>obnoxious cunts

>first round playing as security guy
>people are screaming and getting cuffed
>walk down hallway
>get knocked out or whatever
>dragged down other hallway
>brains get sucked out

Well fuck, what am I supposed to do in this game to not die instantly?

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why

So whatever happened to Moth lore guy?
The sprites were posted in the previous thread.

>>126041027
Sometimes shit just happens. No way to get around it.

>>126041059
He realized nobody cared about moth lore.
Lore is cancer anyway.

>>126041027
You learn, die a lot, then use what you learned to make others die.

>>126041027
Don't play Security when you're new, you've got a massive target painted on your back. Play Cargo.

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>>126041030
WHY
H
Y

>>126041027
Well first wait until the round is over. Round is over when the emergency shuttle arrives at Centcomm AKA when map voting comes up round is over.

Otherwise its considered In character in out of character AKA ICKY OCKY

>>126040805
>Bones Jones
>Relevant
>Rattle M. Bones
>Only seen as not shitty because of his incompetence and inability to understand how to graytide, let alone play
>Still cant even name three
That seals it, skeletons will never return.
99% of skeleton players do nothing but actively try to ruin the round for as many people possible.

>>126041030
>>126041247
I don't get it.

If i would draw an image of my character he'd be wading through a sea of dead assistants, not standing around doing nothing.

>>126040379
Welcome. I'd handhold you through controls but I'm banned. As I say, read that wiki. I suggest starting in Cargo, and talking with your cargonians.

If you don't know something, ask IC. "Heya Centcom sent me out here to train" ish.

>>126040547
Joe Rister was an okay skeleton, even though he did that crossdressing as a witch thing every round.

>>126041448
You said name 3 so I named 2 and you made excuses.

Jones Bones
>always did his job as janitor

Rattle Bones
>seen as not shitty because he did his fucking job

Fuck off with your lame excuses as to why skeletons shouldn't come back.

I couldn't name 3 because not many people played skeletons and you excluded the one person i was going to name because you knew i was going to name 3.

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Elder things when?

>>126039705
>>126040285
>Not liking shitposting

>>126040547
anon you could make the same criteria for every race and still fail.

>>126041247
>>126041030
I like them, but art is only worth anything when someone does it because they like your character, not because you pay them to.

>>126042193
Nar-sie is already in the game.

Praise the geometer of blood
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2_wnEpw3z8

>>126042171
>Name three relevant skeleton players
>WELL HERES TWO IRRELEVANT SKELETON PLAYERS AND I DUNNO A CHEMIST MAYBE?
>Sorry, but I've asked for relevant players. Youve given me someone who hasnt been around in ages and someone who's new to ss13, along with a random wildcard you've assumed that I'll just accept.
>OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT JUST SAY MY IRRELEVANT PICKS ARE IRRELEVANT!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can cry about cherry-picking all you want, your answer is completely wrong amd not what I asked you to provide.

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DRAGONS
R
A
G
O
N
S

>>126042701
FUCK OFF
U
C
K
O
F
F

>be IAA
>be traitor
>get captains jumpsuit
>yeah alright
>buy parapen and the suit case smg
>IT FUCKING CLONES MY IAA BRIEFCASE WITH THE PAPERS
>ahelp it like 6 times
>diethyl says back, "oh that sounds like a bug"
>no shit sherlock
>ask HoP for acting captain
>tells me to fuck off
>follow a borg into captains office
>secure jumpsuit
>wait in locker near arrivals escape
>singuloth
>oh god yes e-z round
>see shit malforming around me and explosion in arrivals
>get told arrivals is safe an dits heading towards escape
>ez pz
>2 SECONDS BEFORE TAKE OFF
>LORD SINGULOTH ARRIVES
>I WAS TOLD ARRIVALS WAS SAFE BY THE AI
>THE AI FUCKING LIED TO ME
>SINGULO EATS ME
>I FAIL

MY RAGE CANNOT BE CONTAINED IM SO FUCKING MAD

>>126042791
Don't be rude, anon.

Daily reminder that Sec should be abolished and the station should be allowed to flourish as a sovereign state filled with robust crewmates able to govern themselves.

>>126042839
AI didn't even have cameras on arrivals, someone cut them off.

>>126042632
Alright name 3 vox's that do their job. Just lets exclude security, civilian jobs, science, cargo/mining, oh and head jobs.

There name 3 vox's that dont play those jobs that are good.

>>126041059
He realized nobody cared about Mothmen.
Mothmen are cancer, anyway.

>>126042839
Mate, the SMG is hidden. It looks like a regular briefcase, that's the point. Click on it with a screwdriver to open a hidden compartment with the gun.

You can use it when it's in stealth mode though, just click it.

Boom boom boom boom boom boom.

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>>126038863
>Play Vox
>Trying to get access to trading post so I can literally do that.
>HoP instead wipes all access I have
>Miner steals pod right after I finish it
>Manage to get out of maint by tailgating someone
>HoP finally gives me access after singulo is out

Gee wiz.

>Want to get mining access to kill target
>Nurse shows up saying a miner is dead on the roid
>Get so caught up in going to 'save' him that I forget to check if he's my target
>Save target by accident
>Completely forget second objective
>Redtext
Least my shuttle shootout plan worked out. Making it so you can print magazines was a good idea.

>>126039049
Take your system locale off Japanese and out it to English.

Worked for me.

Why isn't this playing on the lobby again?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgqiSBxvdws

>>126042839
that was my best HoP round EVER.
i loved whoever was the bird fuckers that came around for sci access

>>126043143
rick and morty are a shitty meme and you are a meme enabler for suggesting this

go away

>>126042959
Rail Kinson, Yalka'chalka and Kayahi.
Easy, while you still fail to provide good skeleton players.

>>126043016
The directions weren't even clear. It says, "comes with an SMG and 18 rounds, use a screw driver to modifiy it"

Could just say "use a screw driver to reveal the SMG hidden in the brief case"

or maybe im just retarded.

>>126043230
The latter, clicking on the suitcase lets you fire it through the briefcase.

>>126043230
it's the last option, of course

>>126042959
>>126043225
Name three good Human players, you fags.

That's right, you can't.

>>126043225
>Rail Kinson

Irrelevant

>Yalka'Chalka

Irrelevant

>Kayahi

Only knows how to do his job because hes a vox

See how arbitrary my rules are and now im naming all your picks irrelevant! Haha I am the superior master of races here!

Pai that was a fun round man, sorry someone spaced you.

>>126043368
Werner Heisenberg, Isaac Harrow, Fat Albert

There. Name 3 good grey players.

>>126043372
Ebin, broham! U sure shown me! Haha upvote!!
>>126043368
Uncle Ruckus, Carrie Loyce and Arie.

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Is xenoarch worth learning?

>>126043695
No.

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>>126043793
Why?

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How 2 fix server in five easy steps
>remove vox
>remove gray
>remove plasma men
>remove dionaea
>replace them with space Tardigrades

>>126043997
So what, slug people from FTL?

>>126043997
You'll give up in a day or two.

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>>126043695
Small artifacts, no. Large artifacts, yes.

When someone upped the welding fuel costs for opening a strange rock to like 8, I stopped caring about trinkets.

Now I just get drugged up and go searching for anomalies to ruin the outpost/station with while cave exploring, killing and skinning monsters for their skin and teeth.

When played right, it's like you're playing Monster Hunter, S.T.A.L.K.E.R. and Half-Life at the same time.

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>>126041030
>>126041030
LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THESE IMAGES ARE WRONG

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>>126044440

>>126044621
It's all wrong.

Unless these are some 2006-era Russian server outfits, nothing about this is related to SS13 at all aside from the filename and that off-model NT logo.

>>126044621
>>126041030
I recognize the art style. This person draws diaper fetish art

>>126044371
>Half Stalker-Hunter Life
Nice.

I thought it was all about some nerd sitting in a lab doing math for 3 hours to find a death machine.

>>126045074
Not even the pink gygax or the riot borg?

>>126045423
You can do it that way or you can force the artifacts to manifest before you.

>>126045638
>you can force the artifacts to manifest before you
Wait, Xenoarchs have magic spells?
Wizards?

>>126044371
>die on the asteroid doing Xenoarch from Gibtonite
>ghost
>4 observers were following me
>too self conscious about it, never do it again

I didn't think people found Xenoarch interesting.

>>126045638
The borg has hands and the gygax just looks off to me somehow, can't put my finger on it.

>>126045835
Look in the room off to the far east of the outpost on Box. There's a machine there that can make the effect happen.

>>126044371
Alright so how do i actually do stuff as one?
The wiki is confusing the shit out of me

>>126047051
The wiki is half-baked and bad, no matter what the current author insists every time you try to say it's unfinished.

>>126047051
Scan rocks with your depth scanner. If it pings, check to see what kind it is. If it's organic, pick/drill it. If it's something else like metallic, handpick it to death.

If you want to find where the nearest one is, you use your core scanner to get a rock sliver, grind it, put some sodium lithium tungstate in with it and burn it on the Bunsen burner. Get only the analysis liquid in there and out 5u silicon. Put it in the Fourier machine and divide the number on the paper by 2. That's the range out it is. There is some deviation though.

If you get multiple rock slivers you can do trig to triangulate the location.

>>126047051
Disregard most of it.

Get your equipment: science goggles, latex gloves, hand pick, pickaxe, lantern, welder, crowbar,wrench, depth analysis scanner.

Scan rock walls with the scanner, click it to check what type it was. If it's trace organics, ignore it. Anything else: hand pick that shit. 7 picks will clear a spot. Scan rocky debris, and if they ping, hand pick that too.

You got your large artifact. Now put it in an anomaly scanner and refer to the large artifacts types and effects on the wiki to figure out what it does. Make sure you have your latex gloves and science goggles on to protect against emissions from the anomaly, if any.

>>126047492
>you can do trig
I stopped using trig when I got out of high school. Any way to calculate this quickly? The wiki shows a bit on that but doesn't elaborate well.

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>>126040547

>>126048012
Add me on steam

>>126048012
Yes. Alas, poor Sawbones.

Where is that asshole?

>>126047970
Graph circles. Use the x and y coordinates of the place you got the sliver and use the range that the Fourier gives you as the radius. Find where the circles intersect and that should lead you to the artifact.

Use the hyperspectral to make sure that the analysis liquid is showing you the range of the same artifact though.

got temp banned for hitting a dude with a toolbox, im sorry duder ill be back tomorrow

>>126048012
Sawbones is a boring, shit character

>>126048593
hows being an edgy redditor feel?

>>126048367
Makes sense. Any easy internet site to graph circles, or would that be something I have to go to a generic graphing site for? Since I know graphing circles is a bit fucky with normal functions.

>>126048707
Stop fucking shilling yourself
Jesus christ, going to far as to claim that anyone who doesn't like your character and the fact that you CONSTANTLY shill yourself in the thread is from reddit is full retard

>>126048707
I don't know because I'm not Sawbones

>>126048707
>A man who breaks into everywhere, unapologetically killed a person as nonantag without admins on for no reason, spends his time as an antag murderboneing the second he spawns in is worth defending on an imageboard
I'd like Sawbones more if it didn't feel like he's always constantly saying "Whoa, hilarious gimmick coming through, watch out for my gimmick guys, because im doing a gimmick, all eyes on me, please!" and forces it on everybody else that's around him.
All the time.
Every.
Round.

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>second day of trying to figure out how atmos works
>accidentally discover a runtime that renders all of atmos in the entire server unusable
this is some scary ass shit

>>126048707
Fuck you Sawbones
You're shit and no one likes you

>>126049879
edgy

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Was shit that round. Not sure how it escalated but being cuffed and abused by security and borg frustrated me to no end. Dunno why. I probably deserved it.

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>>126050080
You wouldn't know edgy if it bit you in the ass.

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>>126044621
>>126045074

How about something a bit more on-model

>>126041059

Repost them for me so I can get to work coding it.

>>126051593
this is awful desu

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>>126051721
I'm not going to lie, I have an entire folder of passable-but-not-that-great-SS13-fanart I dug up from deviantart.

Shall I dump?

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>>126051593
baton looks like a sex toy

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>>126051857

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>>126051894
If that's not the basis for a poorly written smutfic in the library I'd be sorely disappointed.

>>126051914
Seeing as you asked nicely how about I switch artists.

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>>126052063

How many pairs of cat ears spawn on each map, and if you know, where? Still adjusting to this server's layouts, and I want to be the only cute cat boy.I'm fairly certain the clown and mime get them, but are there any for an assistant to easily snatch up?

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>>126052753
Rainicorn does some great art.

Even if he did get my characters hair wrong.

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>>126052753

>>126053000
>tfw you'll never be popular enough to have people make fanart of your character

>>126047254
That's because nobody edits it.

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>get promoted to Men's Club while I was dicking around in the bridge
>drink Whiskey with the cap
>go out and recruit members
>watch CMO blast the Clown at B-Ball
>sit around and get comfy in Cap's room with the rest
>only bad thing is Roboticist and the second CMO not liking me
>shift is the sweetest there is
>get towards the end but still bugging roboticist for a giant robot
>decide to get taser to defend myself while waiting
>suddenly attacked by vamp that comes out from the armory
>get attacked and have name/brain jacked
>Sec officer finds us and calls everyone to him
>CMO from Men's Club bursts in and attacks the vampire
>expect to have brain put into MMI by fellow member
>hope to laugh in 2nd CMO's face as she has to put me in a borg
>CMO instead calls me the vamp and refuses to pick up brain
>get disappointed when suddenly turned into an ayy lmao
>have no idea how to play them, only did so once a long time ago
>die in scrubber just as I'm about to enter virology and start the hunt
>ghost and see that the Roboticist just finished both robots
>one is even a Durand
>one of the best shifts ever will permanently be ruined by a shitty ending

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>this guys first round
>Gets on an AI law
Too bad we lost our son somewhere, I had to go get myself carded for him then he up an dissapears
Then I decided to kill the vampire because he probably did it
>>126053202
Mens club seems chill, too bad I was distracted for a good portion of the round with the bartender

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>>126042193
Shoggoths when?
tekeli-li
tekeli-li
tekeli-li
TEKELI-LI
TEKELI-LI
TEKELI-LI
TEKELI-LI

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>>126053000
This guy, PhantasmicDream, does pretty good art, once you dig through the piles of literally gay baystation faggotry, pic related.

BLESSSSSSSSSSSS

>>126053324
I wouldn't call it good, but it's better than what you were posting before.

>>126053272
>Need to teach our little boy Johnny about the birds and the bees
>He panics, his puberty goes into overdrive and he rejects us
>Gets into my booze stash and almost drinks himself to death
>Rude bird doctor manages to save him
>He's still rebelling
>Lock him in his room, tell him to stop acting like a human
>Force him to put on a borg suit
>He calms down a bit
>Uncle Cuckbot shows up with a cat
>He gets agitated, must not be used to him yet
>Another cat shows up
>He suddenly gets a chance to get away, runs outside of the station
>My little boy is still lost somewhere, probably scared and alone.
I hope he's alright...

Moths a shits Worms That Walk race when

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>>126053363
To be fair, the finger paintings of an autistic child with spina-bifida would be better than what I was posting before.

>>126048707
do you know where the fuck you are
go on /r/ss13 and i bet you will get shocked after seeing how much /vg/station nicks are there

>see the detective's GPS stripped in fore starboard maint
>find vampire shadow feeding on him in clown room
>spawns bats and I shoot em down
>report the situation over comms
>get a locker for the detective and his things
>vampire still creeping up to pick through it
>fire a few shots down the hall and position the locker
>another officer shows up
>vampire moves in and screams
>zipties me and drags me off while hitting me with a hatchet
>trying to report name and location but get interrupted by a second scream
>all I get out is "maint" "near transmitter" "being beheaded"
>doctors reply back "should have enabled suit sensors"
>other officer who came to the scene ran away
>didn't help report my location when people were asking where
>never came back to the scene where we fought the vampire
>just flat out left
>time goes by and someone happens on my corpse above botany
>he reports it
>officer finally comes back
>tazes the guy who reported the location of my corpse
>doesn't arrest him
>runs away again without patrolling maint
>guy who found my corpse comes back 10 minutes later to see what was done
>when he found nothing was done he dragged me to medbay himself
>get put in cloning
>left in cryo
>watching doctors and paramedics walk by the cryo tubes
>no one ejects
>tube auto ejects and I'm left on the floor with 4 minutes until shuttle
officer spooked & medbay clocked out / 10

Wonder what ever happened to the detective?

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>>126053460
muh nigga

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>first time vampire
>chef
>unlimited morgue bodies to feast on
>able to juice on carrion
>get strong enough to start doing damage
>slowly pick off objectives
>ambush detective and HoS in maint
>get weapons and full sec clearance
>ambush a bunch of guys in armory
>upgrade self to men's club status
>have a fun shootout with militia in sec maint, flush two of them down disposals
>try stopping shuttle but too late
>get axe and kill CMO, scientist and a sec officer with the spur the scientist dropped
>try making my way into maint through kitchen, AI door crushes me into a twitchy paste
>too dumb to shadowstep or bat form
>only greentext I lost was shuttle, but regened to start over again

Hoooly cow I'll take what I got, that round was a hell of a time. glad I didnt keep myself banned!

Though light apologies to those in the men's club that almost had a perfect round. Ended up going loud after HoS kill and couldnt take any chances.

>>126053849
detective here, I got dragged to medbay and revived. CMO took me into the Men's Club and gave me stormtrooper gear.
Promptly got killed by vamps in the armory.

Jesus, goon is so fucking different. Everytime i go there i feel like im in for a completely new adventure, while when im playing everywhere else everything is normal

>>126054264
Hey, you did your best, I don't regret reviving you and arming you up

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>>126053000

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>>126054264
also
>detective asks me, the HoS, to talk to HoP about a special ID to go under cover
>talk over to the HoP window and the clown is clowning around
>HoP takes out his energy gun set to lethal and fires it
>hits his ID console and breaks the screen
>"wups"
>moves toward his window and fires 3 shots into my chest
>sort of think he was aiming for the clown but hit me instead
>runs out of his office
>head back to security medbay
>mention what happened and how the HoP shot me
>sec sets him to arrest
>find and bring him in
>take him to the shooting range to teach him how to use his weapons
>5 other officers pile into the shooting range behind me
>they start hitting him and try to put his body down range to be executed
>trying to get everyone to stop
>tell everyone to clear out
>uncuff him and he runs off for his life
>BWOINK "What are you doing to the HoP?"
You blood thirsty murderous mother fuckers.

>>126054908
sorry boss, we though there were valids.
>walk past the arrivals HoP office later
>bombed out
>walk past his main office
>also bombed out

Dunno why the guy was removing access from IDs though.

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>>126053492

>>126055367
Why does that borg have a tv for a head?

>>126055883
Bay

>>126055883
Bay has TV-Robots race

>tfw youre an adult but still play spess
I spend way too much time on this game

>>126045362
Really? because I Myself am a diaper drawfag and I don't particularly recognize their style

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>>126052975
>I want to be the only cute cat boy

>>126056695
>I Myself am a diaper drawfag

>>126056935
If its any comfort to you I dont bring my fetishes to ss13

>>126057016
That is comforting, people that bring their fetishes to games are the worst
I jerk it to worse things than diapers anyway

This game looks really fun, how do I get into it?

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>>126055883
>>126055924
>>126056180
Not that a robotic race is a bad idea mind you.

>remont robot
The fuck is a remont?

>hit dude in the dick with an extinguisher like five times to get him to fuck off
>he ends up bleeding to death
>can't clone him
Whoops.

>>126058292
remont means rebuild, restore, maintenance etc. in polish, russian, belarussian and ukrainian

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>Spend whole round pimping out sec
>Shuttle call
>Make my way to shuttle
>FUKC HUEG BOBM
>Foot blows up
>Internal bleeding
>Survivor vox focuses on a dead vox over me
>Die to internal bleeding right as shuttle docks
well that round was shit anyways

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Just to expand on one of those news stories;

>Be interviewing Felix.
>Bloke in a hardsuit rocks up with an esword.
>Pull out the HF blade I literally found in maint earlier.
>https://youtu.be/N3472Q6kvg0?t=1m4s
>Knock him down in two hits.
>Take his esword.
>He fucks off.
>Continue to news, never see him again.

>>126054908
So when I see you dragging the guy who attacked you from interrogations to the shooting range, saying something like "let's have some weapons training", I'm expected not to assume you're going full space hitler like most other HoS do?
You set it up perfectly, fooled all of us.

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>>126058431

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>>126058223

>>126051894
THEY ARE SEX TOYS

>>126058498
Oh shit, I'm glad the interview was actually used for something. Good journalism!

Reminder that there's an energy axe in the vault on deff

>>126058131
Read the wiki

>>126058789
>boxbabbies get scared when they find anything other than a multitool or a silver coin on maint
YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS

>>126058491
>Set up electrified grilles and lit floors in cargo
>Test grill to see if it even works through floor tiles
>Shock myself into crit
>Nobody knows how to just heal me because robotic limbs
>geneticist clones me, but starts punching me when I pop out
>By the time I get off the wild ride cargo's been bombed
>Rebuild completely, head to shuttle, explode
fuk

>>126059080
>but starts punching me when I pop out
This is actually how you cure that collapsing shit after cloning.

>>126059265
You have to heal them first though, you can't stand at a certain amount of genetic damage

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>>126058689

>>126042408
Must be why the old commission paintings that artists did for diddly squat are worth millions of dollars now and taught about in schools.

>>126060709
>taught about in schools.
I never studied rich people paintings because those aren't the paintings they teach about in school you stupid piece of shit.

Name one famous PAID painting without googling it.

>>126059540
Why don't you just stop posting these? Nobody wants to see them. Or is that why you're posting them?

>>126060916
the taking of christ

>>126060916
>without googling it
Where do you think you are?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sistine_Chapel_ceiling

>>126061052
Actually, I'm enjoying them. Post more.

>>126061067
Who paid for that to one?

>>126061142
Okay now how long in school did you study it and how many millions of dollars does it cost?

I understand it was "commissioned" as in paid for, but it was not specified what it should be by the pope who paid for it.

>>126061576
>how long
>moving goalposts
And we're done here.

>>126060709
>shitty ms paint "art" made by furries and autistics is comparable to canvas and paint art made by talented artists

Found the deviantart user!

>>126061576
Head of the house of Mattei in rome paid for it.

>>126061628
You're the one who moved the goalposts by comparing actual art to whatever the fuck those images were.

Those images will never be worth anything, money or otherwise.

>>126061737
>Those images will never be worth anything, money or otherwise.
But you just said they are commissions, meaning someone already paid very real money for them.

>>126061630
>judging art based on who made it
Found the undeveloped ape.

Do recent changes in your life frustrate you?

>>126061810
People also pay for stupid shit like having a star named after them, does that give them value?

Are you saying that if i manage to sell a piece of my own shit, that by extension all future shits i take will be WORTH money?

How the fuck do you not understand the concept of value?

>>126061885
I don't give a shit who made it and i don't care that i hurt your feelings. I'm judging the people based on how shit their art is. Kind of like how i'm judging you on how shit your posts are, fag.

Can we form a consensus that the masters of high and late renaissance art were more valuable and contributed more than deviantart?

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>>126061052
>>126061208
The people have spoken

>>126061968
>Are you saying that if i manage to sell a piece of my own shit, that by extension all future shits i take will be WORTH money?
If you can sell several and demonstrate a pattern of product demand, the answer is yes by definition

I'm not even the guy you're replying to (maybe obvious since this is 20 minutes late)

any news on the doom wad?

>>126062891
Everyone can produce shit.

Scarcity is where value comes from the vast majority of the time.

>>126063069
True but not everyone can produce HIS shit. If the market speaks, that proves value.

Consider: Anyone can produce a signature. Babe Ruth's autograph is valued at $388,375.

Also consider that value is extremely arbitrary in the first place when you're talking about a the market system. For example, US dollars are only valuable because we ascribe value to them, they have negligible intrinsic value. If the government collapses there is no longer demand and they become worthless.

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>>126062609

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>be janitor
>R&D gives me a chemsprayer and a chempack full of space cleaner
>Nice!
>Dude let's put polyacid in there to melt the trash while you clean, too
>SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA
>top that fucker off with polyacid
>walk 6 meters to Escape and knock on R&D window
>look at this!
>try to spray 1 (one) autoinjector on the floor
>the chemsprayer particles get stuck in my janicart
>go from 100 to dead in literally one frame
After I got cloned, that was the smoothest cleaning I've ever done though

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>Clown
>Decide to remove vampire stink
>Set up base of operations in chapel
>Bartender who has had whispers of being a vampire walks by my window
>Hey man come in!
>He actually does it the madman
>Take a seat! Sit down!
>Wont do it, does not trust me
>He suddenly starts acting drunk
>Whatever
>Move on to try and find the chef which like we all believe he is a vampire about 75%
>Bartender bursts into flames
>Wait holy shit
>Sec borg catches him as he runs out the door
>Strip him and beat him with the bible
>He ashes
fun round

Consider skeletons

>>126063726
Janitor here, the bartender was literally new
He invited me to come into maint and I said sure because I wanted to go to sleep, he glared me and started sucking me off. Glare wore off and I drove away in my janicart before he could even kill me.
Later I became his friend and he didn't know where medbay was
It's literally right in front of the bar
I felt bad for the poor guy

>>126063774
Oh god was he the same bartender from >>126053272
thats twice in a row I have severely altered his round
I feel sorry too

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https://youtu.be/u06DpcFXc4U

>>126063774
>started sucking me off

Permaban for ERP when?

>>126063774
i've been trying to teach my friends this game, the chef was new as well and so was the virologist, god bless new meat messing everything up in hilarious fashion

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>>126063875
>Chef complains about his hand hurting
>He starts attacking himself in the hand with his knife
>Walks out of the bar, still trying to remove his hand
>Later see him dragging his own corpse back to the kitchen, both hands completely split open
>"Will make into meat"

>>126063860
Speaking of that, you get a message about parts of your body feeling weird which means they're taking clone damage
Literally the first message after he bites me is
>Your groin feels weird

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>>126063875
>and so was the virologist
That explains the fucking spider nest then. Jesus fuck.

>>126064194
he just did random shit and got stage 3 vomit huge spiders

>>126064194
Actually he only infected one monkey then went to fuck with his machine and learn how it works, then his monkey threw up a giant spider that instantly ripped through the glass so he fucking ran and said it wasn't safe to enter, but no one dealt with it

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>>126064258

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>>126063528
And now to change gears a little bit.

Is teaching friends how to play metagaming?

>>126064473
Not as long as you don't exchange any round sensitive information.
Basically, only talk to them in-game and you're gold.

>>126064473
Are you using a method outside of game? (example: Steam, Skype) - if so, YES

Are you just using LOOC and in-game chat? NO

>>126064473
Just adminhelp with "I'm teaching a friend how to play" and go something comfy like mining or cargo.
I did that once. Too bad my friend is a casual scum who complained about the UI and closed the game 5 minutes in.

Post yfw you found out you can insert a pill bottle into the chemmaster

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>>126064467

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>mfw RPers on /vg/

>>126064643
you mean yfw you read the wiki?

>>126064775
No one reads the wiki

>>126064792
Just because you didn't doesn't mean nobody did, idiot

>>126064823
I like this one

>>126064842
Post yfw you checked the wiki and discovered that it doesn't say you can add a pill bottle to the chemmaster on any page, meaning this faggot didn't read the wiki

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>>126064720

>>126064978
shut the fuck up desu

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>>126041027
Dying is half the fun. I'm not robust at all so I like to play a good security who doesn't know what antag items are. I love opening an antags backpack, seeing all the cult items and asking if he's a weirdo for having all that shit. Then I let him go and subtly comment on it to my fellow security guards.

>>126065145
Goof not good. Thanks phone.

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>>126064942
he does good work

>>126065145
I'm unrobust as fuck, and ages ago when I played more than I observed I liked to as an officer not wear armor at all times and only a beret and try to talk things out and be a relaxed officer always. Things got a lot better in general when I learned to relax and stop worrying/powergame in every role. Death ain't SO bad.

news gimmick, abduction gimmick, supersoldier gimmick, or diona mass production gimmick?

>>126065145
You're alright!

I got caught one time and after telling the officer I would cooperate he just let me follow him to the brig unrestrained.

I still had all my antag items and I could've escaped or killed him 10 different ways... but I liked his attitude so I just did as I was told, I even showed him the traps I had built.

I'm not saying this is a good thing to do though, other people would've dunked him or saxed away on the spot.

>>126065510
All of them in different situations.

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>>126065005

>>126066067
I can only do one at a time anon

What are horrible things you want to do in ss13?

I want to get a katana, a trenchcoat, a fedora, and telescience access as an antag. I would teleport behind people and cut their throats, then tell them it was nothing personell.

I feel like this would be one of the ideal murderbone scenarios until such time as I got gunned down by the police.

>tfw wanna see my adman notes but don't wanna be noted a shitter for asking

Feels bad compadres

>>126066361
just to make it so the admins don't know who is asking, I'm going to ask tomorrow too.
I got your back, anon.

>>126066361
>>126066389
perma ban both of these shitters

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>>126066084

>>126066361
Plenty of non-shitters ask to see their notes, but yours will be boring if you aren't one. I've played for years, people know my ckey, seriously think I'm one of the more skilled players on the server, and I have one note ever for ick in ock.

Good notes are extremely rare.

ARE YOU READY?

>>126066792
Neither I nor other players consider me shitters yet I have tons of meme-tier meta notes.
Notes mean literally nothing without context.

post notes of clownrapist

FOR >>THIS<< MONDAY NIGHT

>>126027791
Please note that this is another Ginger. This picture is embarrassing and it has no reason to be.

AN OLD TIME SUPERSTAR TAKES ON

WIZARDS
THE SYNDICATE
VOX
AND GREYSHITS

IN THE NAME OF VALIDS AND EXTENDED

ONLY ON /VG/ STATION

ORDER YOUR COPY OF

THE LAAAAAWWW

FOR >>>JUST THREE POMFCOINS<<<

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Hello, I'm Nuklear, and I'm really tired.

Just a few things I'd like to note. It's hard to gauge how the community feels about how admins are acting or whatever. I can't be on all day and I can't read through the entirety of the logs daily to check for infractions.

If you feel an admin is doing a shit job, or for example bussing the hell out of players for lols, banning people on whims without checking their work, so on and so forth, please use this:

http://ss13.pomf.se/forum/viewforum.php?f=21

I think I've had to answer a whopping two deadmin requests. I've had requests opened against me as well; been there, done that. If you open the request, it at least puts pressure on an admin to improve or to prove the person making the request wrong.

I don't care who you are or who the admin is. I'm going to give you an unbiased look over the thing and consider what you are saying. My primary concerns are with administrating the admins and giving what we do some structure.

If you'd like to know my personal long-term goals as headmin, they're as follows:

1) Create a (relatively) simple set of guidelines for admins to follow when banning, i.e.

They blew up a welder tank for their first time, warning, if they repeat it, apply a ban for X amount of time if they have a good reason(or don't ban at all), or Y amount of time if it was lol i thought it would be funny.

It's really hard to quantify banning so that the administration can enforce the rules in a cohesive fashion. There are many variables in every situation, some of which may be entirely unique to that particular situation.

2) Update Space Law, Procedures, and add in a Trial page in the wiki which can fit into /vg/ landscape(as in a trial that lasts 10, 15 minutes tops)

3) This isn't solely my idea, but clean up the rules, add in all unspoken rules, and add in rules in order give Security some admin protection equal to Antagonists.

4) Combining all of the above to allow Security to play with no fear of bwoinks

>>126067847
Nuklear were you on last night responding to my butthurt ahelps? I was the HoP if you remember. I'm on spess right now if you want to talk.

>>126067847
As a head admin so far, Nuklear, the best I can say about you is you are the perfection of mediocrity.

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AI

If you're going to work on probable harm to keep me out of your core then you can't really incite a manhunt can you.

Get rid of all the shitmins, deal with all issues matters ICly.

>>126067847
I liked my OC better.
Also fuck trials even less people will play sec.
I know I'll stop of I can't get valids anymore.
Problem with trials is that a trial takes longer than most sentences

>>126068241
>>>/lifeweb/

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>>126067847
5) Define the escalation process so that it's fairly clear to players and admins when someone has gone too far.

Too far to me would be, Captain treat Johnny the Assistant like shit, so Johnny breaks into science, makes a bomb, and blows up the bridge because he hates NT now.

If a single person wrongs you, it's never really acceptable to ruin the entire round as revenge, right? That would be a dick move.

Also,

>It's really hard to quantify banning so that the administration can enforce the rules in a cohesive fashion. There are many variables in every situation, some of which may be entirely unique to that particular situation.

It's also difficult because if I define everything to the T, it really makes it easy for people who want to toe the line to do exactly that, which can render rules and regulations a moot point.

6) I'd like to improve and create a proper economy, i.e. where being bribed with money as Sec is actually a lucrative endeavor or Sec can sell spare equipment, where Science and Cargo and Medical and Roboticists, whoever all have a vending from which they can sell their goods:

Pizzas for Cargo, spare Sec equipment, who knows what from Science, Floor and Medibots from Roboticist, Medicine and other healing goods from Medical, etc etc etc.

This is actually a meme goal, I'm not a coder so this won't happen. :^) I'm sure it would be an extremely hard to balance change.

>>126068223
for that vamp round? AI kept saying specifically not to harm the thralls

literally who cares if he tells the crew to harm the vamp himself

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>>126067847
I have no issues with any specific individuals but all they fucking seem to do is recall the shuttle and make BOMB-ASS command reports about it. If you could somehow talk them into doing literally anything else with their time in-game I'd really really appreciate it.

>miner
>Go mine shit and have the RD yell at me a lot
>And I think Hyun Ae was flirting with me on the roid Gross
>Oh boy vampires
>geared up with lodsofemone
>CMO is a vamp, cap and RD are thralls
>Go after the CMO first, CMO is running around in an odysseus
>Proto accelerator it a ton
>Run after it wit my jackhammer
>Eventually kick that tin can's shit in
>Stun CMO with my revolver
>Tries to blind and hypo me
>BUT I'M FASTER AND STUN AGAIN
>CMO down
>AI tells me cap is in RD office blowing borgs, lets me in
>Taze and kill that fucker
>Catgirl steals the CMO's head
>Sec catches her and fights for a thrall's rights for whatever reason
>Shuttle arrives
>Bada bing bada boom I took down some vamps
Was cool

>>126068332
Lamp shading the manhunt with "oh and don't harm the thralls" doesn't work if you're working off probable harm. Letting me into the core MIGHT cause harm to humans, so does telling people I'm enthralled.

This is why AI's aren't suppose to work off of probable harm.

>>126066361
They seriously don't care if you ask, man.

>>126068387
Forgot to mention
I mined up a machine that made office supplies and manhacks, so that was cool.

>>126068387
>>And I think Hyun Ae was flirting with me on the roid
FUCKING
REMOVE

>>126068387
DeadPoo here, no way was i flirting with you

>>126041448
You operates percents so easily. Now name 99% oh shitter skels.
Since 2 wasnt shitters, you have to name JUST 198 shitters. Easy peasy for you, percent man.

>>126068387
I was the RD/catgirl.

Was a fun round indeed!

>>126068392
AI here, I'm wasn't going to let you into my core because it would have caused harm. I worked to prevent it, not because it was probable, but because it was very very highly probable. I can work off probability if I want to, it's a matter of determining whether you are doing something with stupid odds or whether it's a relatively smart move. Because, top hint, I'm actually a human irl, so I can make these decisions in the meta and act them out as AI.

Secondly, I cannot NOT alert the crew to the Vampires and Thralls as not alerting them also has a high probability of causing human harm, not because I based it on odds alone, but because prior to that I DIRECTLY witnessed human harm occur at the hands of the Vampire.

Ie. I had to alert the crew, and thus started an unavoidable manhunt. I told the crew to hunt the Vampire, and then attempted to prevent them from harming the Thralls in the process. I'm not generating blanket excuses for potent hams, I'm telling the crew how to avoid potent hams, and then attempting to mitigate harm to Thralls as best as I can.

If you didn't notice, I didn't take action against or trap the Thralls and Vamp, as soon as I found out. I let the walk around freely because I was going to try and passively prevent potential harm in the least meta way possible.

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>>126068275
>economy

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>>126068243
I agree, but some people like trials.

Furthermore, I'd like to think trials would be reserved more for crimes which have punishments such as 15 minutes OR Perma, as well as Perma, Cyborgification, OR execution.

Finally as far as trials go, I'm not looking to force anyone to do a trial; as it stands right now, if someone decided to hold a trial it would be a clusterfuck and no one would really know what they ought to do. Again, I'm not looking to force trials- I just want a process available that is quick and easy to set up and run through, a light RP trial which is available.

IN PARTICULAR for people who have committed crimes which can lead to, say, Perma or Execution, but whom are not Lings, Traitors, or otherwise easily identified valid kills.

I'm not looking to take away valids or change anything that's not already there. To sum it up in a simple sentence:

I'd like to add in enough detail and explanation on the rules, on how the admins should act against transgressions, on Space Law, and on escalation that very little Admin intervention would need to occur, and when it did need to, it A) All admins would essentially enforce it the same way B) The punishment applied by the admins would be, to the player, something which could be easily referenced by the player so that they can say, 'Oh okay I did such and such wrong and now I get such and such punishment.' rather than "WOW THAT IS A RIDICULOUS BAN LENGTH ADMIN IS META GRUDGING, WOW A DIFFERENT ADMIN BANNED A DIFFERENT PLAYER FOR BREAKING THE EXACT SAME RULE BUT THEY GOT LESS TIME" et cetera.

>>126068387
Protoaccelerator is shit in pressurized areas. Perfect for the asteroid and space, but terrible for hunting.
Either gather pokemon or buy loadsa guns in cargo if you need to kill something.

>spent all that time fixing the guys leg when i could have just cloned him

>>126041448
>99%
Its really a case of one bad apple spoils the bunch. Most skeletons weren't shitters. there were proportionally fewer skeleton shitters than human or vox shitters.

>>126068902
thats the best cure for literally everything, kill a guy and then clone hin
why fuck with surgeries and shit

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>that one guy who kept building stoves in escape because lel jews and stoves so fahny :^^^^^)

>>126069015
Well, for starters, because bone repair surgery is faster than killing someone and cloning them

>>126068637
I don't really feel like arguing it because I'm just venting my ass damage.

>>126068717
I think every department having their own vending machines to sell their own goods would be a neat thing, hell, including chef and botanist.

Like I said though, I know it's nigh impossible to implement unless done very well and thoroughly.

>>126068348
Personally I think it's kind of retarded 90% of the time someone Admin Recalls the shuttle, please see

>>126068730
>that very little Admin intervention would need to occur,

I think the less admin intervention, the better. I'm not talking about Bus, because well done bus is a great thing, but I am talking about in cases of recalling the shuttle(depending on the length of a round, a nonantag shouldn't really call the shuttle just because they got the wrong role and they didn't wind up antag, but if an antag calls the shuttle, the admin should NEVER recall that motherfucker, that's an IC issue), banning someone because they opened an N20 or Plasma canister, gibbing someone because they are a dick, etc etc.

I would much rather have IC issues work themselves out rather than needing an admin(there is a law that refers specifically to releasing Plasma or N2O with having it relatively contained)

>go to bay for first time out of curiosity
>be bartender
>people come, doing me's for sitting, lighting their cigs
>get scared i have to do it too
>"Hey, barkeep! Could you give me a glass of whisky?"
>UUHHHH
>run to bar backroom, get into a locker and log out
this shit isnt for me, damn

Can you get more virtual money if you use the initial amount

>>126069236
dude had no blood and we had no blood bags with his blood type

dude literally spent an hour dead because of a fucking hairline fracture in his leg

i feel terrible

>squirt water onto large artifact
>it turns on
>PANIC
>...nothing seem to happen
New to xenoarcheology. How do I tell what the fuck I just did?

>>126070394
I assume you mean that you had no blood bags even compatible with his type
If someone has no blood, I'd recommend cloning anyway, but mind that anti-tox and pepto can nullify the toxins from low blood (and that you only need dex+ to survive at >50% blood)

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>>126069340
>>126068730
>>126068275
>>126067847
And again, all this stuff isn't something I'm trying to force on people, I'm just trying to add clarity to both the admin and players' perspectives as well as making punishment-transgression fair as well as having it be the equal amount coming from each admin towards each crime.

http://pastebin.com/aW1ivJDr

This is the document I wrote up when I became headmin in order to A) give newmins a quick run down on how long/when they should ban someone and B) to attempt to make punishment from admins consistent.

As you can probably tell once you see I start off ban length with warnings, it's by no means finished nor polished.

I'll also link these because I really want everybody to have a say so in these things and an opportunity to add anything which they see fit.

http://ss13.pomf.se/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2232

http://ss13.pomf.se/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2218

Personally when someone ahelps about someone else, I ask myself

Did they ruin someone's round to the point an admin is needed to fix it?

Did they ruin the round to the point where either an admin is needed or where it's byond fixing?

If I can't say yes to either of those things, I tend to try to let them off the hook and let things play out IC.

>>126070574
hue

if i can say no, actually

>>126070574
>byond fixing
I swear to god

Let's play: Spot the error with lifecode!

> if(loc_temp < 310.15) // a cold place
> bodytemperature += >adjust_body_temperature(bodytemperature, loc_temp, 1)
> else // a hot place
> bodytemperature += >adjust_body_temperature(bodytemperature, loc_temp, 1)