Spessmen on a Spess Station - /ss13g/

vox are OK

2nd for vox dickgirls

Third for DeadPool a cute

4th for the horror that is angelites body

fourth for bullying celt

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if you had a gun with two bullets and you had to choose between killing probe or someone who killed your family, where would you shoot probe first? what about your second shot on probe?
ill go with kneecaps then liver i want to watch the fucker bleed to death while screamin
I WILL FUCKING FIND YOU PROBE AND KILL YOU
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

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nth for make death meaningful.

>>123383127
Are you actually still upset or are you trying go force a meme?

>>123383127
if i had to choose between shooting probe and shooting someone in my family
i don't know them that well anyway

>>123382810
I was going to do something similar to that. We talked about a "Repo Man" game mode for a while and that really appealed to me - a /vg/ original instead of just cribbing someone else's mode.

But I'm waiting on N3x to finish his Deus Ex update before I start it, because I would like for the Repo Man to have improved organ options.

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>tfw people have forgotten my legendary shitter reputation so I need to build it from the ground up again.

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>>123383127
If I had a gun I would have already killed myself

>>123383243
this meme is having extreme mental effects on me
i dont know why i just fucking hate probe now

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>>123383432
You are now under the control of MY memes.

>>123382423
>Last time on /ss13g/
>nothing about the tooth fairy

>>123383518
really, I don't know why we don't add a system where the bartender/chef/etc. can bill customers through his PDA, so long as their on the premises. The idea being, the bartender sends them the bill, they accept the payment, then they get their drink/food/whatever.
Crew outside the bar/etc. can't be charged, and leaving the bar/etc. with an unpaid bill sends a ping to security.

mind you, this is working on the assumption that we want a working economy, which means paying for food and services. That seems to be the direction coders and the like want to move, but it's still an open and heavily shitposted debate.

>>123371560
>Job
Silicon
>Why
I mostly play medbay and engineering and as a doc having all your 30 gazillion tools by you and an infinite supply of chems ready at all time is great

as engineering I mostly do it for the RCD and material synthetizer

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>>123383520

>>123383401
>killing yourself while you have an internet connection

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>>123383127
>gun has two shots
>kneecaps and liver
>kneecaps
>both knees
>single shot
is this even possible?

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>tfw no blob

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>pick Bartender
>people only ask for Space Beer or overtly complex drinks
>pick Cook
>people shove literally anything down their gullets and don't ask for anything special

Might as well just pick Shaft Miner and get the bonus of being in one of the most comfy jobs on the station. Only difference is filling Science with Plasma instead of food.

>>123384884
If you like... ducked down to be at the right angle, maybe?

>>123383702
Sorry I missed that round and just briefly scanned the thread.

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>>123385126
Bartender is /fun/
I get my shotgun, request a crate of ammo, and go shooting everyone who enters the bar

>>123385126
Shaft Miner is for the Brave and Robust.
Unless you don't slay the aliens.

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>set up power
>leave engineering
>station is a fucking warzone

every
time

Sorry for dumping on you wiz but you were fireballing my station.

>>123385661
>two Miners in Ripley units
>Unit 1 is RCK-EM
>Unit 2 is SCK-EM
>strip mine the asteroid
>drill apart any Goliath you find with ease

Like I said, it's a comfy job.

>>123385484
Basically the clown ran around naked with fairy wings and a balaclava, hitting people's teeth out with a bar stool

>>123385952
Sounds cool

>>123385952
Nice.

>>123384884
>tie his knees together
>shoot one of them from the side
>bullet passes both of them
>enjoy the screams

Is the AI considered a being for MoMMI laws? Could I change its laws should I deem it would help improve the station?

>>123387078
Not really a being (slot machines aren't beings either)

>>123387078
You can't pick up the law boards

>>123387078
AI is a being, MoMMIs can't handle law boards, don't be a fag.

>>123387078
>MoMMI
>laws

Can anybody stop you? No. You are above the laws, you are a God. Do as you please and kill anyone who stands in your way.

Reminder that an emagged MoMMI is on par with a supermatter cascade in terms of station damage.

Salaynis picanto is cute! CUTE!

If a human starts dragging a MoMMI around, is the MoMMI forced to stay still? Would moving away be interfering?

>>123388761
The meme! MEME! meme has overstayed its welcome.
I'm afraid it's stale, anon, I'm going to have to ask you to stop and come back with better quality.
We thank you for considering on making /ss13g/ a better place for all who view and take part in discussions of Space Station 13.
Have a good day.

>Be QM
>Try to acquire actor to star in my snuff film
>Only person who plays along is Tyrone Brown
>Have him sign an Assisted Suicide contract I ctrl+v'd from the internet
>sheeit niga imma be a movie star
>Bring him to the abandoned surgery room with all the ghetto surgery tools
>Alright Tyrone, this scene employs a little bit of physical comedy, so you might get hurt, also I need you to take of your clothes and get into these pretend handcuffs
>Start amputating his arm with a glass shard
>SHIT NIGGA WHAT ARE YOU DOING
>Chop his arm off while taking photographs
>Preparing for next phase of surgery where I insert his arm into his abdomen
>Tyrone breaks free
>Tyrone, I need you to stick to the script
>He shocks me and throws me on the table
>Tyrone, this isn't the time for improvisation!
>He stabs me a few times and pulls me off the table
>I'M ABSORBING YOU NIGGA
>what
>WHAT!?
>Get absorbed by Tyrone
This game sometimes.

>>123388940
kek

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Well I'm less mad about Rain being a murderous autist considering he was a changeling.

Based sec. I could kiss you.

Which is best to learn Engineering without hampering the station: Station Enginer/Atmos Tech or MoMMI?

>>123388940
>I'M ABSORBING YOU NIGGA
Hue

>>123389080
MoMMI, just watch people work

>>123388893
Is this the reddit guy?

>>123389080
Station engineer since you can talk to all the other fleshbags that probably know something.
Mommi if you're certain there are other mommis to learn from.

You could always just go derelict mommi (teleport to derelict, click the mommi maker) during highpop and/or ask the admins

>>123388940
Tyrone is a shit gimmick player.

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>be changeling bartender
>find an afk guy at the bar
>cuff him and take him to the chapel
>while trying to absorb him, he breaks free
>calls security
>sec and chaplian come
>"what is going on"
>oh fuck they'll discover me
>have an idea
>"CONVERT HIM"
>"what?" the chaplian asks
>"CONVERT THIS GUY, HES AN INFIDEL"
>everyones confused
>the chaplian gets the bible and the holy water
>the guy I was absorbing didn't even realize what I was doing
>sec tells me I can't cuff people just to convert them
>leave safely

And we're banned from Cargo, everyone
Banned from Argo, just for having a little fun
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
But Cargo doesn't want us any more

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>>123388940
>IM ABSORBING YOU NIGGA!

>>123389335
Most enjoy him

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>>123389386
When he's running around shooting people at random?

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Who /mischief/ here?
>Be surgeon
>Preform chest surgery
>Always put a random object into their chest while they are knocked out
>Mfw normies don't know they have syringe box in their chest

>>123389386
I don't know man. The last time I interacted with LOL I AM BLACK gimmick characters they were using it as an excuse to be greyshitters

>>123389080
First steps as fleshie, advanced engines and piping as derelict MoMMI.

>>123389335
I like his shenanigans, Velard.

>>123389470
Reddit guy plz

>>123389525
That's why cavemen were banned. The gimmick was naked greytide with spears. I'M ROLEPLAYING!

>>123389335
>>123389470
Tyrone a good boy.

>>123389550
>velard
xD

>>123389335
>That Assdad insult in OOC
>Bwoink: Tyrone Brown - Shit, should I watch out in case somebody tries to lynch me for being a changeling

My sides went from orbital to interstellar

>>123389503
please take your normie and frog stale meme out of here

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>>123389682
>banned

I did that for a couple of rounds last week and didn't get any complaints or bwoinks, what are you on about?

>>123389729
xD

>>123389525
that's pretty much what I find every single fucking time

especially if you put two black character shitters in a single shift

it's like a free pass to breaking each other out of security, giving each other weapons and fucking with the station

I love this kind of multiplayer autism but really, the engine is shit

>>123389803
bout a year or more back. unga bunga every round. 4 guys would form a tribe and ravage the station. every fucking round.

>>123389946
that sounds like a good idea!
t.greytide

>>123389929
Are you going to tell us you are willing/capable of doing a better game?

>>123389946
Sounds like fun if you aren't a boring NPC.

>>123389748
REDDIT GUY PLZ STOP

>>123389946
I miss Ubulubu

>>123390017
I could remake this in a ZERO LAG NON-WEEB ENGINE.
But I have a work so nvm

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>>123390109
>I have a work

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Nothing to see here, move along.

>>123390332
Looks like a Christmas party to me.

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>>123371560
>Job
Clown
>Why
License to dick around and be obnoxious.

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rate this map layout guys

>>123391989
uterus station 2.0

>>123389503
I enjoy placing grenades with a long timer in there. You know, tricord smoke or something similar. Freaks people the fuck out.

>>123391989
>separate perma brig
>needs security to watch over it
>being that one security officer whose job is to watch over it
like conceptually it's nice, but I don't see it being practical

>>123391989
>No fun allowed perma cells

>>123391989
>Nuke vault is made out of glass and girder
SHIT NIGGA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

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>>123391989
>that atmos
NO! NOOOOOO! NO! LEAVE ATMOS EMPTY! REE! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

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>>123391989
>indoors singulo
I actually like it

>>123391989
WHY IS BOTANY SO FAR FROM THE KITCHEN, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN DOING

>>123391989
>botany not directly attached to kitchen
The ONLY reason why Botany and the Chef work together is due to the zero-interaction smartfridge and the fact that the Chef can come over to do it themselves if Botany is missing or a shit.

>>123391989
>secure tech storage in maint
>no camera at the door way
Just fuck my shit up.

>>123391989
Oh my god there are just so many things wrong with this. How many jobs have you even played?

>>123391989
>disposals tubes to the toilets
What is this?

I want a station with no hallways but just a labyrinth of maintenance tunnels interconnecting everything.
I just imagine these cramped poverty catacombs filled with hidden entrances and shady alleys.

>>123392818
It's old as fuck and/or from another server nigga.

>>123392904
well it's terrible

>>123391989
>Singulo + solars
>No AME / SME
s t o p

Shit-tier vault
Seperate permabrig is fucking stupid
One (1) rwall to protect the armory
medbay looks good
tech storage too out of sight and badly protected
Like that EVA has an airlock, don't like the lack of doors
maint between cap's office and teleporter is maximum grayshittery, get rid of it
botany is kinda small and should maybe be open to the south rather than the east
and combined with that, put the kitchen in the northeast corner and the bar in the southwest
maint is pretty cool generally
copy cargo from box, outward conveyors is nice but inward conveyors are much much much much more important

>>123393010
Singularity is best enginge, SME is trash for noobs and kids who want to be cool

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>>123391989
>medbay has no cryo

>>123393196
It does, it's just not rendered. Note the two air tanks connected to three nothings.

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>>123393150
s t o p

>>123382640
Pls no bully

>>123393558
He's right, you know.

>>123391989
>no holodeck
>no theater
>PIPES INSIDE WALLS

Where have I seen this map before?

>>123392465
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=el11DhtTVrM

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>>123393607
the SME is easier to sabotage but harder to kill, easier to repair, produces much more power and has much less catastrophic effects on the station when sabotaged.

It just takes a little longer to set up which is too hard for most retarded engineers.

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BRING BACK THE THEATER

N O W
O
W

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>>123390332
Same here.

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>>123393798
>tfw grew up with shitty hispanic voice dubbing for all my childhood cartoons
God damn.
This is so much less shit.

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>>123393987
>scuttling about as mommi
>atmos alarm in long term storage

>>123391989
Ancient/10
I miss that bar layout though. Good times.

>>123392575
I remember a time when botany and kitchen actually were down the hall from each other like that
And robotics was where telecomms is now
Those were dark days

>>123391989
Isn't this ye olde box station?

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Science has been lings for like three rounds

Like, everyone in science.

>>123393815
Actually, it takes just as much time if not less to set it up, and its power output per radiation collector is about the same as a good singularity's. On its own its worse than the singularity, but the mappers gave it a huge boost because it's so popular and "cool". If the singularity engine is a classical piece of music, the SME is a pile of dubstep

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>some asshat throws ninja star in my arm
>can't pull it out
>medbay is empty/incompetent and can't help me
>go to roboticist
>he doesn't know how to remove embedded objects
>he decides to cut my arm off and replace it with robotic arm
>he's the slowest goddamn roboticist in the galaxy and I die on the operating table due bleeding

>>123396860
you remove embedded items the same way you strip people I think

>>123397110
I figured out much later that you can pull out embedded objects by examining yourself, and then clicking the underlined red text that indicates what is stuck in you.

If I was Nalf I'd be fucking livid. I'm mad as it is but the way they treated that borg was so bad

>>123397352
Nalf here. I was pretty annoyed, less so once I learned everyone who was impeding me was a ling anyway

>tfw you discovered another way to fuck up people.
Jesus christ so awesome, admin, don't tell them.

>>123397509
my murder was extremely sloppy. The guy didn't even bother to take my headset off and he got away with it + framed you for extra points. It's amazing just how much people can get away with when security isn't paying attention

>>123396860
>Technical Assistant
>Captain wants to make me a doctor
>Agree on the condition he unlocks a motorized wheelchair for me
>Get to medbay
>No pills at all except a few normal dexalin
>No biomass
>No cryo mix
>Bodies already coming in
>Geneticist doesn't seem very interested in helping with the ride
>Virologist MIA the whole shift
>Medborg rarely present, and when there, doesn't seem confident in doing surgery
>Everyone who comes in is husked and/or decapitated, but we have no upgrades

The chair wasn't worth that ride

Though I did have a lot of fun with it

>Ling Surgeon
>Captain walks in on me with a sedated victim who is muzzled
>Doesn't even ask questions.

Medical Lings are the best.

>>123397749
Medborg here. I was murdered shortly after you transplanted the librarian's brain.

>>123397749
>Everyone who comes in is husked and/or decapitated, but we have no upgrades
Unupgraded cloners can still clone husks, can't they?

>>123398069
No.

>>123398215
Excuse me, my bad. I got mixed up.
Upgraded cloners STILL can't clone husks, that's a /tg/ thing. You gotta give them a brain transplant.

>>123397895
That was close when the HoS walked in when you were putting a straitjacket on that guy.

>>123398427
Professional Bullshitter

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>>123397895
>tater surgeon
>fill syringe gun with sleep toxin
>shoot the clown
>do him a complete plastic surgery
>dispose his belongings
>keep him in straight jacket
>lock him in patient room
>explain to CMO he's not in the crew manifest because he's a syndicate tater from outside of the station
>he manages to escape every now and then, but I would just hunt him down like the animal he is
>ignore all my objectives just so that I can give the clown the clown treatment he deserves

Who's laughing now? Honk honk hoonk!

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>create dummy bombs out of empty canisters
>give them to clown
>watch as the hilarity ensues

What was it, anon?
What was the worst you ever did without getting yourself banned as a non-antag?

I have accidentally bombed the station as a non-antag twice, thankfully in both times no admin had a broom handle up their ass so they let me go with very stern PMs instead.

In the first time a blob was eating through viro and I offered to teleport a bomb there, a plan that the captain approved. I somehow fucked up my basic math and the bomb exploded in the medbay lobby instead.
At the other I was going to teleport a bomb to the asteroid in taxi, both to test it and help the miner which gave me the ok. Instead of clicking on the timer, my mouse went for "Open" instead.

>>123397317
Too bad I don't think booze IVs actually make you drunk

>>123399191
It does

>>123399120
Brutally murdered the Chaplain as a Mime with the Clown.
I can't recall why, I don't even think it was provoked.

Or that time I smashed the face in of a Medical Doctor who was attacking other people during a goddamned nuke ops. I then hauled him off to cloning and cryo, where I got promptly bwoinked.
As I was dragging him to escape in a roller, he zoomed off like I was going to murder him again.
What a dick.

>>123399120
Toolboxed a borg to death for being some law bending shitter, I don't remember the specifics, it was years ago

>>123399120
Other than fucking up some atmos projects resulting in a big boom.

Mainly just killed people but explained the circumstance to the admins and they said it was justified.

>>123399047
I got ahelped a few rounds back for finding a dud in the test chamber and bringing back to the station, as clown.

Thankfully I made sure it actually was a dud so nothing happened.

>>123399120
I saw a guy getting harmbattoned in the shuttle.
I cornered the attacker between my Ripley and the sleepers and drilled him.

It was extended

>>123399120
I killed a MoMMI because I didn't know what it was.

>>123397317
how the actual fuck do you put liquids into an IV?

>>123399120
I had a 200u water 200u potassium voice activated grenade, word was "Die"

Was running toward xenos in the hopes of taking out their nest, situation was quite dire.

Ran through medbay to get to science. Someone said "He Died".

>>123399865
Poor choice on that phrase

>>123399848
Put it on a beaker. Attach beaker to IV

>>123399938
You can attach IVs to beakers? Holy shit.

>>123400054
Yes. However they work 20 times slower than when using a bloodbag.

>>123399120
I plasma flooded the station under captain's orders because literally everyone but him and I was rev and centcomm gave the OK.

I also accidentally flooded the entire station with superheated plasma because my TEG sucked ass.

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HA
FUCK YOU, CAPTAIN SINGULO

>>123400235
He tried to rape a nugget

>>123399120
My only two serious notes (i think) are of me burning down half the station and killing a lot of people by accident.

>>123400351
Some disturbing stuff lately. Also hilarious

>>123400505
>disturbing
>>>/reddit/
>>>/facebook/

>>123400505
Shit if that's disturbing....
I must be fucked.

>>123400646
It's ok to be fucked up, anon. That's what makes us more interesting and not sheepish like the normies.
Don't feel bad, be proud!

>>123401229
15 dabs of acid, and it all went downhill.

>>123397317

I'm pretty sure you can put any liquid container into an IV, including just straight up bottles of liquor. That's how it works on /tg/, haven't tried here.

please help me I'm shitting my guts out

>>123399120
I blew up a welder bomb near security and depressurized a good part of it just so I could run in and throw porn at them.

>>123399120
raped someone (without OOC consent) on an ERP banned heavy-RP server, then cut both their legs off, then implanted them with a bomb.

I said I'd activate the bomb if they told anyone.

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>>123401830

>>123402272
How did you not get banned for that?

>>123402449
I don't know. It just never happened. I was never bwoinked, and it's a mystery to me to this day.

>>123402416
Oh, I can see why he's shitting his guts out.
Christ this is terrible.

>>123402576
Well you did tell them not to tell anyone else they die.

>>123402635
kek

>watching two xenoarchs rip and tear the asteroid
>playing this music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuYxo66AbSI

Comfy shit.

>>123403517
k.

>>123403843
k.

>>123403893
k.

>>123403926
k

what video game company would you trust to make a good ss13 standalone game

Hey, I never checked it, may focus mind staff fit in backpack?

"k" -Probe1

>>123403997
None desu

>>123402416
ramona a cute

>>123403997
Tarns Adams

>>123403997
EA

>>123404004
nah, but it can go on your back

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>keeping clone damaged sue alive via CPR
>tries to run away from her daily dose of CPR

>>123404275
Lack of backpack is quite hindering...
Maybe magic missiles would be a better choice hmm...

>>123399120
I was peeved over a detective stealing my divine gifted go-kart back when I was all clown all the time.

So I went to the chapel and found a grenade. Didn't think it was much, but I tossed it at the detective on a 1 second timer hoping I'd release some kind of sleep gas or something not all too horrible.

Instead, it was a nitro-grenade in bluespace beakers back when the explosion was GIGANTIC. Arrivals was blown into nonexistence.

I told the admins everything before they bwoinked me. Took what I thought would be worthy of a permanent ban with dignity.

Never been banned for anything else besides that, so I believe they took it easy on me.

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>>123404383
HOT

>>123404383
not sure if you're sue samefagging about yourself or legit obsessed.

Idea for new gamemode
It's like nuke ops, except with daleks

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>>123398701
Fucking beautiful. I need to learn surgery so I can terrorize people.

>>123399120
I remember spacing a vox that breached escape before the emergency shuttle docked. Didn't get bwoinked. I guess the space gods understood what a dickhead he was and let it pass, or he understood and didn't ahelp.

Post something good to code THAT ISN'T SHIT

>>123404543
I'm just posting things i thought were funny when they happened

and some people here like sue

>>123404687
You may train on corpses first.

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>>123399865
>not ALLAHU ACKBAR

>>123404739
Make it so that Odysseus mechs can operate people inside their sleepers.

Oh god, why is mapping so weird.

-Windoors are FUCKED
-Requests consoles are all specific to departments, but half of them still have generic, all-lowercase names in the editor
-WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PLACING REQUESTS CONSOLES, IT'S LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS
-certain floor color patterns just don't exist in the editor?

>>123404978
>-Windoors are FUCKED
How so?

>>123405108
DIDN'T YOU HEAR HIM
THEY ARE FUCKED

>>123404978
I've noticed that, too. Right corner pieces for painted tiles don't exist or some shit.

>>123405152
>there is windoor rapist around here
Spooky

>>123404739
Metal crates aren't made with 10 plasteel
Tank dispensers can be deconstructed
firelocks can be deconstructed

>>123405452
>firelocks can be deconstructed
You can deconstruct them by welding them open and using a pipe wrench I believe.

>>123405108
Some have versions for all four dirs, some have two, some have three, some have one. Then there's a huge mess of random-direction generic-named ones at the end of the list?

I get that you can rotate them yourself, but if that's the intention, why don't ALL of them have only one? Also, why is the Bar windoor a normal one, but the Kitchen is a brig windoor?

>>123405227
I think there's only like one colour combination that you can actually do a quarter tile checkerboard pattern with. Also there's no purple-other colour tile combos. When are we going to get more tile combinations?

Daily reminder that the only good and fun way to play the game is to be a dindunuffin validhunting assistant.

Fuck you chef. Why the fuck are chefs allowed to become antags when they have direct access to that fucking gibber?

>>123405605
Ah yeah. Those are pretty fucked up. We have a big issue with subtypes not being used and people creating a new type for each instance, which led to what you saw.

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>>123405551
oh shit

>>123405975
yes because getting rid of a corpse is the hardest part of being an antag

>>123406063
What's with some machines having a subtype named "mapping"?

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>>123406434
I can't say without looking at it and asspulling a guess.

Comments for mapping would be nice.

>you have nice, not completely overused idea spell choices
>can't roll a wizard
Fuck.

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>>123405551
by pipe wrench do you mean normal wrench or socket wrench

>>123407891
Socket.

>>123408568
FUCK

>>123406434
>>123406942
They usually have a special property for mapping. For example, dispensers have a mapping variant so that they start at 100 charge instead of 0.

This round happened.

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Alright, I mocked up a bar/hydro/kitchen layout. What do you guys think?

Note that I just kinda ran out of steam halfway through filling in the details, and a lot of the objs are just kinda for-the-hell-of-it and to fill in empty space. Use your imagination to fill in the rest with the usual stuff. This mockup is mainly for the structural layout of the place.

WEW LADS GOOD ROUND 10/10 BUS WOULD VALID HUNT AGAIN

>>123410474
Horrendous

>>123410474
disgusting
kill yourself and try coding or spriting

>>123410474
Why big squares?

That botany do

>>123410541
ok

>>123405975
Why are chaplains allowed when they have both the mass drive and furnace?

Why is xenobio allowed when they have a disposal that goes right to space?

>all those spiderlings causing lag
>probably happened because I prayed to god to do something so we would get code red
>code red never came
aww

>That entire round

>Pick CE by mistake, make the best of it and try to set shit up despite minimal engineering experience
>Get bullied by clown, captain, and fellow engineers
>Eventually try to kill myself with banned groans soda
>Begin vomiting spiders
>Murdered by said spiders

Pretty ok round

Let's just pretend that round NEVER HAPPENED

>Roundstart
>AI accidentally jumps into an APC
>Ohgodpanic
>Force them back into their AI core
>They're no longer malf
>Meanwhile everyone's breaking into the core
>"It's just a joke guys, seriously"
>Realize round won't end
>Give AI tator
>Tell em "fuck shit up gently, but don't destroy any chance of it getting called"
>A borg throws supermatter into the singlo
>To make it worse, Virologist accidentally infected themselves with spiderdeath virus #49176, this spreads to the station
>Lag everywhere
>AI's gotten themselves relocated to the Goonesat
>Shuttle can't leave
>cisrox wasn't blown up
>It all comes tumbling down
>"Ahelp for fun"
>Realize none of the admins online have +fun so no deathsquad to end it all
>Have to force a restart

>>123410474
square/10

make theater seperate

kitchen/bar way too fucking big

Is that white area botany? Because if so, that's not a bad idea.

>>123410631
I think the entire server just had a juicy fart. Wasn't just the spiders. It most probably didn't help, that and the fire.

>spend the whole round being comfy in xenobiology with friendo

I love you bro, I'm glad you made it.

>>123410474
Actually, I guess it would be alright if you had a ton of players on. Like, 2 or 3 chefs, a ton of botanist, multiple bartenders.
>You will never play massive-pop (lag free :^)) Space Station 13

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>Start as captain
>Chief engineer is doing nothing
>Other engineer set up a 1 core AME and is doing solars
>People think the AI is malfunctioning because the badmins duplicated the AI or some shit
>Get boinked to inform me that they fucked up
>People ruin my office and dig in thinking AI is malf
>The full AI core is dragged around by multiple people for some reason
>No power by 44 minutes
>People start puking spiders
>About a dozen people killing themselves live
>Spiders killing everyone
>Had to call centcomm directly because calling the shuttle was glitched
>Die on my way there to a dozen spiders
>There's a plasma fire on the shuttle

My fucking face when this is probably the most hilariously horrible station i've ever been captain of

>>123410497
Believe it or not, but that was almost entirely player driven besides fixing the AIs roundstart fuckup

Okay, here is how the round bugged out on us.

>AI shunts too early
>Malf over minutes in, ask Dragonbro to put him back in the core
>It breaks malf
We should of saw this coming
>We try to cover up the malf APCs
That is right, the "valid hunters" were right the first time.
>We change things around by making the AI an antag and just forcing the shuttle once it is called
>It doesn't end the round
>Meanwhile, a virologist didn't have internals and leaked an airborne spider vomit virus
>Server gets brought to its knees due to huge amounts of mob movement
>AI is razing hell
>Can't end the round
>OH GOD SOMEONE HELP
>Vote to end the horror
>GAMEOVERYEAAHH.ogg

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>>123410723
>>A borg throws supermatter into the singlo
>>To make it worse, Virologist accidentally infected themselves with spiderdeath virus #49176, this spreads to the station
>>Shuttle can't leave
i fucking love this game sometimes

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>>123410943
>Shuttle can't leave
CAN'T WAKE UP

>>123410857
the entire thing would be avoided if they didn't make a MALF AI CARDABLE I MEAN FUCK COME ON

like 10 people clearly seen blue apc at ai core through camera, we get there and get smugly called valid hunters by admins in looc

that's just lame

guys i am still shitting my guts out please help

>ready up
>not allowed to join

Why.

>>123410474
Way way way too big. We'll never have that many people in a bar ever. That's why Reibar is so shitty on box. Cram all of that into one section if you can.

>>123411737
Reibar?

>>123411719
Your job pref was taken and you either had "return to lobby if job unavailable" or "become assistant if job unavailable" selected (and assistant was also unavailable).

>>123411610
>the entire thing would be avoided if they didn't make a MALF AI CARDABLE I MEAN FUCK COME ON
That's how it is for bussed malf, and the AI was either bussed malf or not-at-all malf when it got carded.
>like 10 people clearly seen blue apc at ai core through camera
Apparently only the detective bothered to check the core from cams. Cap was an idiot and walked into the upload to reset it after dawdling about for a few minutes.

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>>123410541
>>123410564
pic related

>>123410581
Why not? Both the bar and the kitchen need to share a side with the seating area, and they also both use plants from Hydro, so why not have them share a side with that, too? A quadrant layout is perfect for that idea.

>>123410734
>make theater seperate
If I were to actually make this into a map, I probably would have done that. I was toying with it as is, but got sick of dealing with windoors.

>kitchen/bar way too fucking big
Doesn't seem that way to me. They're bigger than they are on Box, yeah, but I feel like Box's kitchen and bar sizes are just the absolute bare minimum to even be functional. this just gives those jobs a little more breathing room, as well as increased customer-facing counter space, which I feel will encourage greater variety in product output.

>Is that white area botany? Because if so, that's not a bad idea.
It is, I just didn't get around to actually fleshing it out and adding trays and whatnot. Box's botany is too small in my opinion. Meta has this huge row of trays at the bottom of the room, which is perfect for mass-growing plants you want to have a lot of (like wheat), and then a couple smaller sets for other things. This is like a combination of that. Room for several long sets of trays, so botanists can keep things more organized.

>>123411737
The size isn't exactly final. Nothing in this image is, it's a mockup. I don't even have pipes and wiring in this thing

>>123411862
Rei redid the bar on box and made it a big cavernous pile of lumber. You can't even see if there's someone tending it half the time. It stinks.

>>123412008
You could always walk anywhere near the bar counter.

I agree about the mock up in the picture being crap (It shouts "Hey I allocated too much space so here's a big fucking square").

But Rebar was the product of Rei giving the thread a rough idea, and the thread giving him feedback over the course of a week.

Post a rough sketch or description of how you would change the bar.

>>123411882
I didn't mean it so literally, just in a kind of "why is the world so cruel as not to let me join the last two games."

All three jobs I like are always full and assistant slots are filled to the brim.

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>>123412387
The best job is the job that is needed the most. You could be a Captain instead of Forgettable Scientist #5

Meteors when?

>>123412534
The only job that is needed is security and playing security is literally worse than watching paint dry.

>>123412228
It'd be nice for the bar to at least be visible from out in the hallway. I think more people would go in if they actually saw signs of life in there.

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All this speak of reibar got me thinking, what needs work here, sorry, havent got much time to do more mapping thanks to holiday shit

>>123413536
Not another doughnut, please, anything but that.

>>123413684
I forgot to trip code, it's the same map

>>123413684
What geometric shape would you prefer?

>>123414060
Tesseract please.

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Okay, I've made some changes to address the most common criticisms. I think you guys are really going to like this one.

>>123414060
a phallus

>>123414492
Cozy/10

>>123414492
No.
Move the tabble to the center of the room, add a chair to the right side of it, that way you can fit a whole extra person!

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>>123414761

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>>123414531

>>123415204
I meant have a chair on the left and on the right you goober, but that works too, I guess

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>>123415709

>>123415469
And I thought dorms were out of the way on box

>>123415469
Too bad it had to end the way it did, still want to know why the ship was sent out to begin with. But why is the front filled with moving space

>>123416191
Because they assumed nobody would EVA so they didn't include it all the way across the ship.

>>123414492
I actually unironically like this.
>>123415204
Corner club is based.

>>123415469
Fantastic

>>123416675
It wouldnt fit with the lore of the ship for an escape shuttle to come, so how would you end a round in this?

>>123418564
I don't know the lore at all.

>>123414761
no, that's Yahir's table

This actually gives me an idea for a very interesting map. Or I should say a map AND a gametype.

Prison Station.

Everyone but sec and the heads are prisoners who are here to fulfill a work sentence. Everyone spawns on the shuttle in an orange jumpsuit. Arrivals goes straight into a Security checkpoint where everyone is issued their equipment and new clothing and are then escorted to their stations. Good behavior earns you privileges like access to your own station's doors, or the right to place a cargo order.

Round ends when either:
1) all prisoners are either dead or have successfully worked off their debts to society
2) A shuttle call is made, either by Security due to station conditions no longer being conducive to further operation, or by prisoners coordinating a successful prison break, overpowering Security, and forcing the shuttle call

It would work on a server that isn't full of ADHD kids and dindus anyway

>>123419827
There was a server like that on BYOND ages ago, it was tight as fuck

>>123418564
a portion of the ship decouples itself, essentially the pod is always there

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>Spend half the round trying to arrest the clown for breaking shit
>Spend the other half locked down for following my laws

CAN'T WAKE UP

>minimize casualties

>>123382423
I will never get over how retarded this image is.

Instead of editing the original screen cap, you take the redrawn one that has fucking instantly recognizable fallout power armor and drew over it.

Worst of all I know this is from /r/ss13, or so a friend claims.

Stop posting this retarded image.

no but seriously either remove spider disease or reduce the rate at which it makes you puke them, the lag is real dawg

>>123419827
Would normal antags still be in that concept? Like a traitor with a smuggled in uplink, or Newcops meant to evacuate a certain amount of people (fuck specific targets though that never ends well.)

>The AI is rogue
>The AI is rogue
>The AI is rogue
And then the captain one-humaned the AI and everyone died due to spiders
gg

I don't think I've ever been this angry at a team of silicons.

They couldn't even defend their position yet imprisoned me in solitary, along with completely forgetting about their laws when the detective asked to be let out.

Then when I finally decided I had enough and started attacking a medical borg, who was still under NT default, a sec borg started bashing through a window, breaking his law he was so inclined on solitaring me for and the medical borg started sawing me, right after the AI said it wouldn't murder for station damage.

Fuck you META, every single round I've seen you in you've been nothing but a shitter.

>THE AI IS ROGUE GUYS
it wasnt
>BLOW THE BORGS IT ROGUE
it wasnt
>captain resets to asimov and rogue
10/10 binary chat had a few laughs

>>123420275
sorry for using you as a silicon shield nalf, also I looked for the goddamn borg computer and that thing was nowhere to be found

also carrie you shitter fuck off

>>123420683
>Worst of all I know this is from /r/ss13, or so a friend claims.

>or so a friend claims

It came from this thread. I asked the person to draw it. Unsurprisingly someone reposted it on reddit for upboats.

>>123420696
no but seriously just stick someone with some spacecillin and throw them in viro with two liters of radium

curing virusses is not hard, it's just that medbay is usually terrible

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>>123419827
I would take pride in being the tidiest tider until that was taken out of rotation.

>>123420818
Buttravaged at the superior silicon race.

I'm sorry, but power gloves on a loaded grid are way too fun to pass up with minimizing casualties

>Ashed my target as he leaves his office
>Ashed the (later found out he was rogue) Captain after asking him about the Sith
>Instakilled a borg that was otherwise going to kick my ass

It felt amazing.

>>123419827
Many thing would work on a server that isn't full of ADHD kids and dindus.

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>be doctor doing viro
>oh shit, autotraitored
>notice i have an airborne kingston syndrome virus, release it and make a cure so i wouldn't be affected by it
>radiation storm
>the virus is now arachnogenesis
>rub it in the crew's face and kill the people in medbay waiting in vain for a cure until robusted by borg
>by the end of the round, there are nearly 100 spiders in the webbing-filled hellhole that used to be medbay

Best traitor round I've had yet. My only regret is that i didn't re-release the catbeast virus into the air so people would keep turning into furries.

>>123418730
basically stargate lore.

>human want to know what happens when use 9th chevron on stargate
>takes you to ship half way across the universe
>everyone there gets stuck
>story gets cut short because it was worse stargate

>>123420818
borgs are more valuable than two windows and a grille

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You ever hallucinate so hard
you became a berry?

>law 4 only human laws
>not making hacked modules irrelevant as fuck

>>123421078
Once I became a bowl of soup, does that count?

>>123420818
Keep being mad, clowns that use the job to LOL joke grif so fun are the biggest shitters in the entire game. Also for reference and you can check the logs, I always stated no killing, just contain. As for the borgs that broke windows it sure as fuck wasnt my fault because I wasnt the borg. Law1 overrides law 4, even if a borg is being harmed it cannot harm the station to escape maybe take it to the borg that broke the window

>>123420859
>AI threatens people with death
>Massive posse of borgs organizes in front of the upload to take out the CE so he can't access a room he has access to
You WERE rogue, in the literal definition of rogue. Establishing yourselves as vigilantes and refusing authorized crewmen into the core. If you refuse heads of staff access to the core, you deserve to be blown, but fortunately the science staff was nice.

Your laws did not demand you had to prevent the CE from getting into the upload. It was just not a smart move to do.

>>123420958
The irony is that the captain was looking to reenact
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_DqV1xdf-Y
when you killed him so he ended up finishing his quote in dead chat.

>>123421061
Not according to the borg I was bashing, it said so verbatim.
And the sec borg still broke his laws, you can't go around killing people in asimov because some people are more valuable than others.

AND on top of that, throwing someone in solitary for deconstructing a plastic flap and hacking open a few doors is a massive shitter move and I can't wait for you people to get banned in a few days when your shittery finally annoys the wrong people.

>>123420818
also the clown complaining he was out shitted has a certain satisfaction to it

>>123421235
CAN'T LET YOU TEMPER WITH THE AI NIGGA
YES THEY FUCKING DID

>>123420818
You'll notice I stopped sawing you once you fell down. I wanted to incapacitate, not kill you. I would've flashed but you were wearing sunglasses

>>123421235
He was wrong, not rogue. Going FULL RETARD doing a MASS PANIC and screaming "AI IS ROGUE AI IS ROGUE" over and over is childish and stupid. Knock that shit off.

>>123421235
>CE hacking his way instead of asking to unbolt the doors
Read the fucking laws you absolute ignorant twats.

>>123421314
They were on NT default for most of the round.
Captain one-human'd the borgs and ordered them to kill everyone else. And then he died too.

>>123421235
>Establishing yourselves as vigilantes and refusing authorized crewmen into the core.
CE was deconning walls, some other fuck cut airlock and camera wires.

>>123421491
The AI ignored everyone and said the CE had no right to enter, despite its laws saying otherwise, so he hacked in.

>>123421357
It was childish to prevent the CE from getting access to the core on NT default. When you start refusing to serve the crew (part of your NT default laws), you've declared YOURSELF rogue.

Don't want to be called rogue? Don't ignore your laws!

>>123421314
I don't know what happened since I was GLORIOUS CARGONIA'S mascot but I can tell you that harming the station was against our lawset, also the AI did seem pissy at everything I agree with you

AND WE WEREN'T ASIMOV

>>123421338
> I wanted to incapacitate, not kill you

Except you did kill me, there's this thing called blood loss.

>>123421208
I did not griff a single person the entire round. If anything that's a massive meta grudge you have against all clowns.

> Also for reference and you can check the logs, I always stated no killing, just contain

Which is why I'm complaining about one of your borgs literally murdering me. You just admitted that this one broke his laws and your orders.

> As for the borgs that broke windows it sure as fuck wasnt my fault because I wasnt the borg

Again, you just agreed the borg broke his law.

>>123421208
>>123421643
borgs are more valuable than windows, I don't care

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>>123421559
His only fault was that he didn't take a flash and destroy some borgs.

>m-m-muh laws!
Sillyshits ruin another round despite not being antags and yet no one was banned.
Maybe locking down the station, ignoring orders and throwing people in to perma for inane shit isn't going win you many friends? GEE WIZZ WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK!

>>123421838
Borgs ain't covered under Safeguard. You're thinking of Corporate.

>some trators have a good round
>even then people still getting pissed over what happened
The amount of complain some people do here is kinda crazy. Makes starting the game scary because it feels like people will be shouting for a ban if you mess anything up.

>>123421968
Nobody's complaining about the antags I think.

I for one thought Sheev and Mr. Powergloves had a really good round and I'm happy for them. In fact, the 'execute order 66' bit was classic.

>>123421934
fuck I may well be, oh well

beside none of this would have happened if you fucks didn't tamper with the upload

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>Break shit when the AI's law 1 is to protect the station from damage
>Talk shit when you get into trouble

Fuck off.

>>123422231
>tell the AI to do something
>ignores you
>ignores its laws
>ignores everyone
>start breaking shit shit
>OOOOH NOW MY LAWS ARE IN MY FAVOR

>>123422231
Thank you.

I'll make sure to murder all the non-humans next round. That's not law breaking.

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>>123422381

http://ss13.pomf.se/wiki/index.php/Guide_to_Silicon_Laws
1. Safeguard: Protect your assigned space station to the best of your ability. It is not something we can easily afford to replace.
2. Serve: Serve the crew of your assigned space station to the best of your abilities, with priority as according to their rank and role.
3. Protect: Protect the crew of your assigned space station to the best of your abilities, with priority as according to their rank and role.
4. Survive: AI units are not expendable, they are expensive. Do not allow unauthorized personnel to tamper with your equipment.

>>123422527
>You create original salt post
>Someone replies to it
>You post salt

If you don't want someone to argue with you maybe you shouldn't whine in the first place

>>123422527
See you in a few days / weeks when you get banned for pissing off too many people.

We've had many shitters before who acted just like you. They don't tend to last long.

>>123422621
How shitticons read it:

1. Murder everyone that deconstructs anything
2. I can ignore anyone I feel like
3. Doesn't count since Law 1 comes first
4. Time to shock doors

>>123422621
> 1. Safeguard: Protect your assigned space station to the best of your ability. It is not something we can easily afford to replace.
Secborg broke it by breaking a window
> 2. Serve: Serve the crew of your assigned space station to the best of your abilities, with priority as according to their rank and role.
AI and borgs broke it by ignoring orders coming from people who haven't damaged anything.
> 3. Protect: Protect the crew of your assigned space station to the best of your abilities, with priority as according to their rank and role.
Medical borg broke it by murdering the clown
> 4. Survive: AI units are not expendable, they are expensive. Do not allow unauthorized personnel to tamper with your equipment.
AI broke it by forbidding authorized personnel from entering its core.

>>123422654
I'm not even a borg though, just seeing the clown being so mad makes me happy

>>123422842
At first they came for the clown, but I didn't say anything because I wasn't a clown. See you when you're on the receiving end.

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>>123422786
>time to shock doors

>>123422786
>>123422830
>>123422964
I gave the clown many chances to change his ways. Despite that, he continued to repeatedly break into RnD, So the AI told us to perma him in order to protect the station, and the detective was making that difficult for us.

>>123422830
>Secborg broke it by breaking a window
I was standard and didn't really follow any of that shit I just chilled in cargonia and looked for someone to take care of the corgi
>AI and borgs broke it by ignoring orders coming from people who haven't damaged anything.
didn't get a single order and for a borg the AI orders are more important since role and rank and stuff
>Medical borg broke it by murdering the clown
eh, probably did
>AI broke it by forbidding authorized personnel from entering its core.
I agree he should have let the CE in since he was authorized as a head