ITT: we are game journalists

THIS

GAMEH

Shit thread.

This game had a black female protagonist, we're looking at the next GOTY folks.

Gameyness Considered Harmful - Why I Stopped Playing Games I Review

I don't like or even play video games. Is this the occupation for me?

>>389436303
It is admirable that [game company] took the leap to make a strong, independent, badass black female protagonist, but their refusal to make her a transgender disabled autistic pansexual is still deeply problematic and shows that we still have a lot of work ahead of us. Would not recommend, and in fact encourage a boycott of [game company] until our demands of a more accepting and progressive game culture are met.

10 Reasons why Trump should ban video games

Top ten reasons why Atlus next Persona protagonist NEEDS to be trans

>>389436130
5/10 too hard. The dark souls of ____

>>389436658
As long as your last name ends on -berg, you are welcome :^)

>couldn’t beat game
5/10

>couldn’t beat game because of bug
1/10

Fuck you guys I hate this game it’s a 1/10 no one should ever play it because I got a bug and shouldn’t buy this game from a developer but buy EA and Ubisoft games they’re 10/10

How I stopped playing video games for a year

6/10
Even though i didnt finish the game, having reached about the half way mark..

Top 5 video games you got to play before you die
Number 1 - Zelda

Why I dont pay attention to video games when playing them

someone help cannot solve captcha

16 times videogames got away with sexism

How video games can fight back against Donald Trump's America by adding more LGBTQ characters

I went into journalism in college because I wanted to be a news reporter. It felt like the thing I really wanted to do. After my first internship in my 5 year of college, I realized I hated it. I didn't want to put up with the hours of stress that go into doing even the most backwater of local new stations. But I have already invested a lot of time and my parent's money in getting this degree so I guess I could go into video game journalism. I played a lot of drunk mario kart in college and I went to comic con a while back with a few of my friends who dressed up. Its not really that hard, I just get the company to buy me a console and the games, then I just play them. Its really easy, I do love video games.

>>389436658
sounds good so far but are you any of the following:
-heterosexual
-cisgendered
-white
-male
if so, then find another career

Why the new COD game will change the world

>>389436130
Top 10 Most Delicious Looking Foods From Videogames

Top ten reason why Jack Thompson may have been right

>>389437017
Not quite. You can be all of these, but you must hate yourself and write about how everyone else matching these criteria are evil.

>>389437017
I'm all those things but I do have glasses, a beard, and thinning hair

I will start off by saying that I have never touched a rhythm game before this. I don't play any instruments in real life, nor do I listen to music all that often.
I actually didn't play the game either, what I found was that it is a blast watching several people play this game together. The giddy expressions of people in the room shouting, singing along, and generally having fun made for one rockin' night.
8.5/10

>>389437123
Is your hair blue?

Why japanese games are ruining the game industry

disclamer:
*hit piece sponsored by Bethesta and EA* -tm

A few of my more effervescent, more gregarious, more alive colleagues in game journalism are on stage "rocking out" to The Killers. We are on the rooftop of a pricey hotel in Santa Monica, at a press event organized by Rock Band 4's developer and publisher Harmonix.

I'm standing at a safe distance, drinking fizzy water, eating puff pastry canapes and chatting to another colleague about politics in the Philippines. I'm having an OK time.

I'm supposed to be focusing my attention on Rock Band 4, but there's more chance of Ferdinand Marcos leaping onto that stage than there is of me mounting the boards, swinging a guitar strap around my neck and yelling "whooooooo."

>>389436130
>4chan is the darksouls version of reddit

Now that we've finally made games boring, I now can't think of anything else to write about.

How I got my job through promiscuity and why it is ok

top ten reasons why childrens toy companies should let their female employees have side jobs as escorts

>doesn't make it past tutorial

10/10 dark souls of platformers

You are all subhuman fagets.
aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

BETHESDA MONTH
ALL BETHESDA GAMES
ALL MONTH
FOLLOUT 4 BIB BOI EDITION FOR ONLY $199.99
10/10 ADVENTURE OF THE YEAR

>>389436130

>Wow! You won't BELIEVE what this game lets you do! *Insert cropped porn pic here*

>I played this game nonstop for days and THIS happened! *insert picture of bloodshot eyes*

>The game that THEY don't want you to play. *insert either a pic of a politician here, or le happy merchant*

>You MUST be OLDER THAN 26 to play THIS GAME. *insert picture of a mountain with a face looking down at a samurai*

WAAH WAAH Why isn't this a female protagonist! WAAAAHHH

I wanted to be a screenwriter but I wasn't "good" enough now I'm stuck writing about some bullshit I don't care about.

Whenever I'm out with some liberal cutie her pussy dries up like the Sahara when I drop my occupation.

It's not fair bros.

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>>389436130
>The game is fantastic;possibly the best game ever created.But,um you know,about that...misogyny?Could you like.. uhm tone it down?We live in dangerous times where the sudden surge of misogyny and xenophobia fueled by the election or a certain caricature of a president threatens our existence.
The controls are fantastic,but the lack of diversity and representation in its cast eclipses it and hinders the overall experience.In this dangerous times we have to be inclusive and respectful.
Absolutely stunning graphics,but the tacit appropriation and ridicule of different cultures ruin the overall experience.
An incredible game that you should definitely pre-order NOW for the exclusive skins.
Score: 4/10

I hate straight white men

Why my friend with benefits html-browsing simulator is GOTYAY even though you didn't heard about her yet*

*Although we have featured her insistently in a lot of previous articles in order to falsely make her "popular"

5/10 not anime enough.

the fuck is a video game?

>>389436130
JUEGO MUCH BIEN, MUCHO GOLD Y REPORT FUNCION HUEHUE

8R/10

Why indie games will never get coverage unless I know the developer was my friend for the past 10 years.

I liked this game's graphics but it gave me a challenge

6.6/10

Is 2018 finally the year developers start making strong female protagonists?

Save draft replace 2018 with current year when site needs hits.

>>389437528
There's a mountain now?
Holy fuck deepest lore.

Why [game made by an indie friend] will change video games forever.

polygon playing Doom.webm

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Dark Souls is the Dark Souls of Dark Souls-like Dark Souls games.

>>389438024
We are not 2017 dude.

Top ten reasons why I hate myself for being born a white male instead of a black woman

Heterosexual, white males in video games trigger my ptsd.

Top 10 reasons why Devs Aren't Sure How They'll Combat Toxic White Male Masculinity

This game dev suckrd me off and ate the cum. I watched as the cum dribbled down her lips. Oh and her game is a 10/10 or whatever. Buy that shit.

Video games are terrible. Here's why that's a good thing.

Cuphead is racist against asians.

Gamers are dead.

Donald Trump sucks, videogames are for neckbeards

MIITOPIA IS THE DARK SOULS OF VIDEO GAMES

drumpf

Top 10 reasons why everything should be censored

Why Sonic was never a good game

>>389439056
Top 5 reasons why censoring video games is crucial for fighting against drumpf and nazis.

How I got addicted to Ovewatch overnight
*totaly not sponsored by activision - blizzard

Why Hatred For White Male Protagonists Is Not Racist or Sexist

y cant metriod crawl??

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>>389439427
Video Games Helped Me Find A Black Boyfriend And That's Wrong

Video Non-Binary Non-Gender Conforming Persons Top 10 Games of All Time!
10. Fallout 3
9. Super Mario Galaxy
8. Telltales Walking Dead
7. Final Fantasy VII
6. Undertale
5. TESV: Skyrim
4. The Last of Us
3. Life is Strange
2. Portal 2
1. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

>>389440178
This looks like literally every other fucking top 10 games list on any games journalism website.

>>389440235
Damn, I guess I should start applying for some journalism jobs then.

Why There Weren't Any Female Protagonists In The 90s and Why I Hate Donald Trump.

hey guys whos non binary dick do i have to suck to become verified on twitter

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It's with a heavy heart that I must say that this game is one of the hardest games I have ever played I spent literally days struggling to complete this intense challenge that I feel will be harder than every dark souls and every game as hard as dark souls combined. This is especially true when I tried to put the square into its correct hole only to later find out that was the diamond I was trying to put in. But the hardest level of all was the star which I spent a solid 4 hours trying to place into what any intellectual well-educated person who isn't a disgusting nazi would assume was the correct hole.
As such I have come to the conclusion that this game is actually broken and has a severe bug as the star shape isn't going into its correct hole and thus the game is therefore unbeatable. To top this off the graphics are absolutely horrid and are clearly making a mockery of those who have difficulties with their vision which I can only hope are as furious with the developers as I am despite having perfect 20/20 vision.

In closing this game is a horrible buggy mess and absolutely disgusting that the developers didn't even offer an easy mode or hints to tell you where the pieces are meant to go. This is everything wrong with the games industry and we can only hope that a talented Triple A developer like Bioware can come along and make this pathetic excuse for a game a lovely, progressive masterpiece worthy of Game of the Year. However until that happens this is a broken and terrible game expecting too much from its players.

I rate it a 1/10 for being too difficult and unwelcoming to those who aren't massive fans of challenging gameplay. Don't spend your money on this piece of trash.

>Bioshock infinite, racist???
I know we all love and enjoy the Bioshock series regardless or its previous white male protagonists and sexist game feature were you rescue "little sisters"(Paedophilic undertone???) but in it's latest release Bioshock "Infinite" is more like Bioshock Infinitely White.
The game does feature POC characters but only on the sidelines and In one of the alternative Universes the Black Rights movement is slightly implied to have gone "too" far. But that's not the point I'm talking about dear readers. Im talking about how Elizabeth and Booker go into infinite parallel universes and all their infinite selves are all infinitely white. I know abit about physics not enough to be called a scientist but enough to know that in an infinite number of universes there are an infinite amount of POC versions of booker and Elizabeth and yet they are not shown? I feel like that was extreme discrimination against alternative POC(infinite discrimination???) I will say that in the least that Elizabeth's transgendered alternative self was well represented in the "Burial at Sea" dlc where they changed her model to correspond with a post op transsexual.

Bioshock infinite, racist, not transphobic.

Did I get the job?

Why [INSERT GAME WITH FEMALE PROTAG HERE] is *your* GOTY.

>Why sexism in Video games is a good thing.
Oh readers now before you get upset let me explain.

Videogames have been sexist since their creation with games that have you raping Indians to Japanese get that now have you raping entire families. Are these wrong? Yes absolutely.
>But you said sexism in videogames is a good Thing?
Well yes and no.
Sexism is one of the worst things in the world second only to racism and transphobism.
>So why did you say its a good thing?
Stop getting impatient I'm getting to that!
When a company releases a videogame where a female character is half naked or in need of a "hero" we know who are enemies are.
If videogame companies stopped Releasing sexist videogames due to our effort that would be great but more likely they are trying to "sate" our desire for justice as the "storm" passes. I highly disagree. We will not be a storm that passes but rather the harbingers of a new age of enlightenment and social tolerance.
So when video games companies release sexist games we know our job is not yet done. When we see a woman bare her cleavage because some basement dweller with a pen ravaged her design we know there is still alot of work to do. I say if a videogame company releases a sexist game, good! It's better to know ones enemies than have to go out of the way to find them.

>>389443236
This, I hate this shit.

>>389443132
>>389444020
What are the possibilities of me getting a job as a video game journalist? Even if I don't believe In their bullshit but just spew shit like this?

The sexist undertones in the Mario/Rabbids game makes us uncomfortable, and thats a good thing

>>389436130
Shit thread
Lets try that again
Write an article 1 word a post
WE

i didnt see a scary game over screen, 10/10

>>389436942
you need the 4chan pass DLC of course

Why dying in videogames is a feminist issue

Top Ten Reasons why Marxism WORKS for Game Development

You've been playing videogames all wrong
Why quicksave is an oppressive feature
12 reasons why The Sims empower women

>>389436130
>and you see, that's how star fox proves that cis gendered white males are problematic and offer nothing but rape culture and destruction to all of society
>-aaron goldbergriversteinwiczbaum

>>389446128
>Why quicksave is an oppressive feature
Just like Kotaku, every once in a while there IS a gem of an article (thanks to guest writers).

Guys why can't metroid crawl?

>>389446148
Also

>no, i will start this article by affirming that no, i did not make it past the tutorial level of (insert game)™

Games need more women characters. It needs more scenes in which a man tells a woman she can't do the thing but then she does thing (yaaasss kween slay) and proves that virgin WRONG.

>>389436130
>incompetent, dishonest, degenerate, easily offended retards that know nothing about video games and care more about politics anyway which which we also know nothing about
I think we might actually be game journalists guys.

>>389436130
Breath of The Wild is the perfect game for the perfect console. I have literally zero arguments for why and will now proceed to make statements without reasoning until the final score of 10/10 and Nintendo pays for my ramen diet.

>>389436130
This thread is the Dark Souls of roleplaying

>>389447721
(and that's a good thing)

>>389436130
IM PRESSING BUTTONS WHY IS NOTHING HEPPENING

"Why I haven't finished a single game in my life, and why that's okay." | 367 comments