How I wish sleep worked

As long as i could select "forever", sure

I've always been jealous of the people that can fall asleep before their head hits the pillow.

>sleep for 24 hours
>wake up
>sleep for 24 hours
>repeat until you die

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I wish I had quest markers in real life.
>Quest: look for job
>get quest marker

>>389164545
This. Normally takes me around 3 or so hours to fall asleep.

>>389164545

I used to normally have a lot of trouble falling asleep ever since I changed meds a few years ago, started taking 20mg of melatonin recently and it really helps me fall asleep.

>>389164634
would do this, only stopping to play new releases that i'm excited for, which doesn't happen often

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>>389164323
>cant rest when enemies are near

>>389165436
>melatonin
I found it makes me drowsy but doesn't actually cause me to fall into a sleep.

>>389165248
>quest marker disappears when you get close to it

>>389165679

It's not drastic, but I don't have nearly as much trouble falling asleep as I used to, normally only takes 15-20mins at the most.

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>>389165248
>Quest: Look for a Job
>There is no quest marker

>Wanting to rush sleep
Sleep is a free trial of death, enjoy it while you can.

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>>389164323
I poop manyt moly an a XANX til i pass out yo

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>>389164323

>every work day
>sleep 7-8 hours
>"fuck i wish i could sleep more"

>weekend
>sleep 5-6 hours
>naturally wake up
>can't sleep, too pumped to play vidya

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>>389165886
>Quest: get gf
>quest fails

Here's fun little thing you can do
>Drink alcohol
>When you're starting to feel drowsy/tired after your high, drink energy drink
There you go, insomnia simulator

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>>389165248
>Quest: look for a job
>find an offer
>go to an interview
>ace it, they want me in
>"You're starting in three weeks."
>three weeks pass
>get call
>"lol, we don't want you after all, sorry, bye"
And this is how I wasted almost a month when I could have still been looking for employment.

Somehow this feels like a /r/gaming repost.

>>389165323
Holy shit, what time do you go to bed and get up in the morning?

If I'm tired, it takes me 10-15 minutes to fall asleep.

https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/1fjj4h/how_i_wish_sleep_worked/

>>389165323
Same. I'm only getting 3 hours of sleep each day and I can't go back to sleep once I wake up. I'll die soon.

>>389164323
thats exactly how sleep works, if you arent an inferior sape.

>>389166353
/v/ is the most reddit board on this site

>>389166465
Those idiots don't even realise there's a 24-hour limit on sleep in Bethesda games. Do they even play those, or just watch YouTube videos?

>>389166513
Hopefully I'll join you.

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>>389166353
It takes one to know one.

>>389164323
I just tell myself to wake up at x time before I go to sleep, and it usually works.

>>389164323
>Randomly woke up with a pounding headache and a sore throat
I think I'm getting raped by ghosts in my sleep, /v/.

>>389164323
Is that a twitter post?

>Have to stay in bed listening to podcasts while my mind very slowly drifts away

>>389166513
Only been able to get 6 lately, not quite as bad but I feel your pain

>>389166053
>too pumped to play vidya
God I fucking wish. I have a friend come over to play vidya on saturdays but i'm usually still exhausted from the week and fall asleep when it's his turn to play. Shit fucking sucks man.

>>389166772
It takes a repost to know a repost?

>>389167146
Touhoubronies aren't very bright Anon.

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If you have issues falling asleep, try laying on your back with your arms above your head until you cant fight the urge to roll over anymore. For extra effect, do this on a hard surface, like a wood floor. it works every time!!

>>389166810
You're probably developing an allergy to something. I remember a few years ago I would wake up with migraines and didn't know why. I tried taking an antihistamine first thing in the morning and was fine the rest of the day. Getting older sucks anon.

>>389167390
How is that supposed to help? It sounds like murder on the back to me.

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>have a fever
>play video games all day
>try to sleep that night
>constant weird thoughts of the game I was playing
>Half of my brain is convinced I'm still playing it and the other half is screaming to stop so I can go to sleep

>>389167584
I meant to say, lay on the hard surface for only about 15 minutes before going to your actual bed.

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>trying to fall asleep
>suddenly start thinking about how I'm going to die one day and start panicking
And yet it never happens during the day. I don't understand it.

>>389164323

As a side sleeper how do I sleep on my back? I'm tired of waking up with a number arm because I laid on it

>>389165323
If you don't fall asleep after 20 minutes you might as well stay up for a couple hours and then try again later when you feel tired.

>>389164545
normal people are tired after a day of work/study.

>>389167891
Does that really help? What does it actually do?

>>389168128
I can work eight or go to class for eight hours, stay out for a while after, come home, and will only be able to stay sleep for two hours. My shit is fucked up.

try melatonin, it knocked me down from 2 hours to fall asleep to 20 minutes

>>389167859
Holy shit this. I played BoTW while I had a fever and I kept fidgeting while trying to sleep because it was like my brain was projecting me into the game. It's even worse when you play some spooky shit.

>>389168304
laying in such an uncomfortable position will make your bed seem so much better in comparison, and thus easier to fall asleep in

>>389167859
>>389168407
I get this shit without the fever.
Sometimes my brain is convinced that I cannot wake up until I perform some arbitrary task in the "game". Then I wake up, angry as hell over being betrayed by my own mongoloid brain.

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>>389167859
>wake up
>you're not sure wether you slept at all because you spent all night getting weird fever dreams and your brain wouldn't shut up

>>389167859
Shit I know exactly what you mean, happens without the fever too
It's the weirdest fucking feeling

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>>389166096
>mission status: failed
>reason: subject born ugly and weird

>>389168536
>see some weird birds in the distance
>try to zoom in with the sheikah slate
>realize I'm in real life

>>389169382
>Played Sleeping Dogs all weekend
>when I left to drive to uni that Monday I started driving on the wrong side of the road

>>389169527
>>389169382
>played PUBG all day off
>next day going to work fidgety and nervous looking around every few minutes

>>389166810
Could actually be sleep apnoe

>>389169673
>played Hatred
>next day I shot and killed 78 people before I realized what I was doing

>>389169732
Gosh darn it not again!

>>389167859
Tetris effect. It's amazing how well the brain can simulate the game

Who else dream about pissing in a toilet only to immediately wake up in order to prevent yourself from actually pissing yourself here?

>>389169732
>played Katamari all day
>started rolling my coworkers into a ball

>>389170160
I dream about pissing and shitting but by the time I've woken up I've already shat watery diarrhea all over myself.

>>389165959
When do I get to experience the whole thing ? I'm tired of free trials

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>>389169382
>have to walk a few km
>try activating the automatic walk
>it doesn't work

>>389164545
>>389164323
>Eat healthy
>Exercise at least 3 times a week
>Have a regular sleep schedule (go to bed and wake up at consistent times)
>Try not to do anything that requires too much focus before sleeping.

there, now you'll be able to sleep easily.

>>389165323
>>389166513
please see a doctor if you haven't already

>>389164323
I'd rather just never sleep.
Waste of time where I could be practising my fundamentals.

>>389169382
>Uni class about to end
>Wondering how many turns it'll take me to make it to the next class, and what kind of cover I'll have on the way

I played way too much XCOM

>>389171846
OR

>get drunk
>jack off in bed
I dare you to stay awake after that

>>389164323
I haven't been able to stay asleep for more than a couple hours at a time since I was 15. I suspect it's the single biggest problem in my life, but it's hard to tell because I can't remember feeling any differently any more.

>>389169527
I did this too. Got so fucking spooked when I discovered what I was doing.

>>389172348
You seriously did that man? How?

>>389167859
had this the other day with eu4, except instead of my Malaya game going as well as it did, Ming kept invading me and taking my land.

>>389166513
I don't even know how much sleep I get, takes me up to 4 hours to get to sleep, and I always wake up before my alarm clock goes off, usually allow 8 hours for "sleep" so I'd be getting 4 or less.

>>389172000

It's hardly a thing they need to see a doctor about. They just need to do things during the day that will make them tired, rather than spend all their time sitting at a computer shit-posting here.

Can anyone else kind of pull this off? If I stay up all night and have to go to my job in around 4 hours I'll wake up about an hour before hand if I need to. I'll feel rushed and groggy as shit but I did get up.

>>389172707
It was when I was still driving a moped. It died on me while driving (which was fairly common) so I stopped at the side of the road and was fairly stressed out. When I got it working I drove over to the wrong side of the road and stayed there for a little while until I discovered what the fuck I was doing.
This was when I was playing Sleeping Dogs.

>>389164323
Reddit is that a-way

>Traumatic job
>Always been fine with it
>Always been shit at sleeping
>Started dreaming about dying nightly
>If it wakes me up enough I'll wake up to sleep paralysis early morning

I really can't handle this

>>389172253
my dick stops working when i'm drunk

It's way to common while doing traditional art that I automatically move my hands as to press "ctrl-alt-z" if I do a mistake.
Seriously. It happens all the time.

>>389166298
This will always happen.

>>389174215
Like you'll be sketching with an actual pencil and try to put your hands on an imaginary keyboard? Weird

>Wake up after nap
>Always have weird compulsion to buy something i dont need
>Passes after 15 minutes
uh, okay.

>>389174472
It feels weird and then I hope I did it in private.

>>389174169
'sup gramps!

>>389164323
>don't have to get up early
>sleep like a fucking baby

>have to get up early
>can't sleep, at all

Tried everything. Going to bed earlier or later, making sure I'm tired (workouts), or rested (bath or couch, without TV or phone/PC), going for a stroll through the woods, and jerking it like it's the last day on earth.

>>389164323
us gaymers amirite

>>389172253
>get drunk
>go take a piss
>jack off immediately afterward
I dare you to try it

>>389174953
Only real way that works for me is that I need to go to bed and wake up the same time every day, no matter if it's the weekend.

>>389165248
this is why I always have a good laugh when someone tells me he's good at video games. Any real life hobbies is 100 hundred times more challenging than anything a video game could ever offer you

>>389164323
I can wake myself up at a specific time without any alarms by just thinking "wake up at X" a few times while in bed. But, I need to get at least around 6 hours of sleep prior to that, which is difficult since I also take forever to snooze, and I sometimes just fall right back asleep when I wake up.

>>389175095
Does it create mustard gas?

>>389175127
Finding a job isn't a hobby. You just sound like someone that's shit at video games.

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>tfw sleep easily almost every night with around 4 pillows around my body

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>>389174307
It's happened to me twice already.

I just wish they'd say no outright, instead of holding me up (and fully expecting me to keep myself reserved) for several weeks.

>>389166556
I'd say it's the second most reddit board, right behind /pol/

>>389175447
May as well keep applying until you've actually secured a job. Why do companies do this anyway?

>>389175127
I build and fly FPV quadcopters as a hobby. While some setups do give me a lot of trouble (try soldering up 6 microscopic pads in close proximity on a tiny 16x16mm PCB board), none of it is as hard as DOOM 2 with the Brutalized-Overkill map pack that I played earlier today.

Couldn't get past MAP2.

>Wake up
>Cant move at all except for hands and feet
>Desperately try to wake the rest of my body up by quickly twitching hands and feet, usually works when an arm or leg falls off the bed
I wonder if this is what happens to dogs every time they sleep.

>>389175419
>around 4
how can you not fucking count to 4 accurately?

>>389165969
????

>>389175790
Sleep paralysis is so fucking creepy.
Sometimes happens to me if I'm sick or wake up after drinking and are still drunk.

>>389175734
>May as well keep applying
That just doesn't sit right with me. If I've committed myself to one job position (even if it's in 3 weeks), then I've committed myself to that position. It'd be immoral to call them on the agreed starting day and say I'm just not going to show up.

>>389168002
This. It's strange
>can't sleep
>stay up for an extra hour playing vidya even though that's probably why I can't sleep in the first place
>try again, go to sleep instantly

>>389176053
You're supposed to do this though, companies experience it all the time. If you accept a position, then accept another one, you work at whatever actually lets you start first. You then call the other one and let them know that you've taken an offer that is better for you personally. You don't wait until they day you're supposed to start working.

Think about it, why is it okay for the companies to lead you on constantly and waste your time? You are one man. You won't hurt the feelings of these corporations. What field are you applying for anyway?

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>>389164323
>select 1 hour of sleep
>wake up fully rested

If only.

>>389176049
I had sleep paralysis once, and it was the creepiest shit ever. Like I legit felt someone or something inside the room with me and i couldn't move a single muscle.

>>389176356
>You won't hurt the feelings of these corporations.
That's not the problem. I've got principles. Just because the job market is rotten doesn't mean I must stoop down to its level too. Same reason why I worked hard at my last job when my coworkers were mucking about. It's a self-respect thing. If I abandon my own principles, I know that'd just lead me down a slippery slope.

I'm mostly looking for sales/management types of jobs, preferably something like copywriting or managing an online store. I've worked storefront and it was a god damned hell.

>>389176683
Yeah, I once felt like something was laying behind me and was pushing my head down into the bed.
Although, I was pushing dying-levels of sick when it happened

>wake up in the morning
>bed feels a million times better than it did when I went to bed
Why? I fucking love it but why can't it feel that way when going to bed?

>>389176720
It sounds like you need to work over your principles. Not abandoned them.

>>389166810
>literally woke up with a growing headache four days straight last week

What the fuck is going on in my sleep

>nose gets so clogged during the night my ears get clogged as well as a result
Fuck the human body it makes no sense

>>389177110
Get yourself addicted to Afrin my man

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>>389166298
>Started a job last month
>Just got my first paycheck
>Still haven't actually signed the contract yet because "there was a delay in HR"

>>389166465
STOP MAKING THREADS AND HAVING FUN, OTHER PEOPLE ARE MAKING THREADS AND HAVING FUN TOO

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>forced to wake up early for something
>horrible memories of school mornings come rushing back
>have a near nervous breakdown
I can't handle responsibility

>>389176995
This happens to me if I sleep for too long (10+ hours) or don't drink enough water.

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>>389165659
>enemies save thumbnails

>>389177196
You know that paycheck isn't going towards your social/retirement fund, right?

>>389177269
>wake up early for church as a kid
>have to take a bath
>have to walk down dark, cold hallway, dripping wet and naked

worst memories

>>389177407
It's not like I can do shit about it.

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>>389165248
>Quest: Look for a job
>Get a thousand quest markers in my city
>A good number of them aren't even hiring

Am I the only one that works a minimum wage job in this thread

>when your dream feels so real that you wake up still talking like if you were in the dream

I once scared my ex cuz she said I was talking about a complex plan to kill her parents who didn't like me.

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>>389177568
>Quest: Look for a job
>look around for offers in my city
>many of them promise a "high starting wage"
>it's the national legal minimum
What the fuck did they mean by this?

>>389175205
No, but the urge to piss is probably the only thing that's giving your dick enough blood to stay hard. Once you've relieved that you'll go soft again.

>>389167859
One time i went back to sleep because I truly believe I could cast a portal to my college just like my mage.

>about to fall asleep
>Think of how scary it would be if I woke up and someone was standing above me looking down
>Can't fall asleep now
Living alone is scary

>>389177843
>Quest: High School Graduation completed
>get new quest: Look for a job
>try to start out small and apply for a Dollar General that's a short walk away from where I live
>try to apply in the store itself, they say they only accept online applications
>apply online
>never get a phone call or anything
>dad and even my friends tell me I need to call three days after applying
>apply again and call 3 days later
>"lol nope, if we don't call you after 2 weeks apply again"
Kinda sucks, it would have been nice to have a job that doesn't require me to drive since I don't have car yet

>>389178661
Try sleeping face down

But that's how it works you fucking sissy, i bet your fag country doesn't have conscription .

>>389178661
That happens when you get sleep paralysis.
A lot of people see demons holding them down on the bed and they cant move.
I had it happen to me twice.

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>>389178661
>about to fall asleep
>really thirsty so I get up and go to the kitchen for a glass of water while the lights are still off
>picturing creepy ass junji ito monsters crawling over the windows and breaking their way in
>start tip toeing around double checking all the locks and being unable to sleep for the next couple hours

Takes so little to ruin a good night's sleep.

>>389165323
i take melatonin every night
you should try some sort of medication if you havent

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>go to bed at night
>takes 2+ hours of convulsing to fall asleep
>take a nap in daytime
>unconcuous after 15 seconds

>>389179086
My country has that. Why don't I have this ability?

>>389179463
The sarge didn't scream you good enough.

>>389166889
I finally found somebody else who knows how it feels

>>389178661
>>389179132
>just barely woken up, not even out of bed
>see black figure standing in doorway
>too lazy to do anything about it so I go back to sleep
always black figures, although I once saw one that looked like it was wrapped in blankets which was cool

>>389172253
Some people like me have a stimulant response to alcohol. Alcohol not only keeps me up all night I stay awake and alert until the next night and even then have trouble falling asleep.

>>389178994
>apply again
That's the sure sign of a false hiring op. They're probably legally obliged to look for hirees, but don't actually need anyone at the company (may be illegals filling the staff, or some other corporate dickery). Don't apply and look elsewhere.

>>389177843
part time can pay less then that, duh. traineeships and various other forms of temporary/learning work also can be less.

>>389179842
or...maybe they just dont need anyone.

>>389179941
We're talking hourly wage. Not a salary.

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>>389164453

You can

>>389167859
That's called a tetris effect

>>389180096
oh right that changes...nothing at all about what i said

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>>389179086
>France has one of the best quality military in the world (inb4 simpsons r.eddit meme about surrendering monkeys ) despite size (above average though )
>No need for conscription

Conscripts are horrible troops who don`t want to be in the army to begin with...

>>389180252
Maybe over there, but not over here. Over here, it's illegal to pay less than the minimum wage, no matter the employment mode. Which is why those companies list such a wage in the first place in a public posting. No saying what you'd get in reality once you go there and talk with them behind closed doors.

>>389180440
>american population closes in on last functioning welfare center in DC

>>389180236
this go look it up, it's an actual thing. back when agar.io was the hot shit i played it like ten hours a day without pee break, then i went to bed and all i could see or think of was little blobs consuming each other.

>>389180618
>America
>No brown latinos in sight

Hmmm yeah sure buddy

>>389180440
People need to server atleast 6 months, getting fit and learning how to use a gun is always good.

>>389167070
>after school
>always pumped to play video games
>after work
>can't be fucked to play games or can't decide what to play due to limited to time
I want to go back

>wake up
>lips are chapped and covered in gross shit like bits of lint and dead skin cells
>nose is stuffed all to hell
>all of my joints need cracked especially my back
I hate waking up so fucking much.

>>389165323
>Only get tired when I'm up for 18 hours
>Can only sleep for 3
>Once im awake I can't fall back asleep
I wish I was dead

>>389180597
okay, where are you

>>389180815
trust me on the east coast it's darker than midnight

>>389181001
Sounds like me. I'm an opiate addict (legal perscription though, for fused spine) and it causes mad dehydration during sleep (only counter is to wake up and drink a lot which just means waking up more to pee)

Got 2 cavities from dry mouth already in 2 years

>>389181221
Slavland.

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>Go to bed
>laying around rolling and spinning to find a good position
>alright here it goes
>but what if I'm not breathing right
>start getting chest pains and feel like can't breathe properly
>sit up and browse 4chins on my phone
I've been awake for 26 hours, at this point I dread sleeping.

>>389181423
oh yeah that really narrows it down

>>389169382
>binge MGSV for a month
>glare sound effect irl too

>Tired as fuck
>Go to sleep
>Turn and turn and turn and turn
>Finally fall asleep
>Dream is me trying to go to sleep
>When I finally do, I wake up
Life is fucking pain. I wake up exhausted, I go to sleep exhausted. I've had even worse where it was this mixed with waking up every 10 minutes plus the occasional sleep paralysis.

>>389167859
I get the tetris effect really fucking bad sometimes. Most notable is when I marathon something for like 12 hours and then immediately go to sleep with nothing in between, itll fuck me up so bad I'll be distracted thinking about my weird dreams the whole next day.

I normally never remember my dreams too, so going from nothing straight to fucky fever dreams is doubly disorienting.

>>389181789
I hate this shit
>Dream that Im having trouble falling asleep
>In my dream it's 20 minutes before I actually have to get up
>Wake up and I was asleep for an hour

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really OP?

What do I do to get rid of the constant drowsiness? No matter how I sleep or what I do (I'm actually a fairly active person who gets good exercise) I'm always a little hazy.

>>389175447
SOURCE REEEEE

>>389182232
>>389181789

Stop stressing about sleep. It makes you have the shitty dreams you're describing. Even if you aren't sleeping in your bed, you're resting. Enjoy it.

>>389181001
how old are you anon?

>>389182554
22

>>389166513
>>389165323
>>389164545
A shot of alcohol works. Whiskey, Vodka or Gin.

>>389182530
Then I get stressed that I should be doing something, I should be working. There's few things that I hate more on a daily basis than trying to fall asleep, not being able to, look up the time and two hours passed of turning from one side to the other while my mind thinks back to every horrible regret I ever had.
The suicidal thoughts are specially strong at 3 in the morning.

>>389182425
BF Brave by Potato House. It's absolutely not worth it.

>>389182693
wow. I was expecting 40+

>>389183076
Genetic condition causes my bones to be a fuck.

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>>389176720
>sales/management types of jobs
>principles

>>389167859
yeah it's the weirdest thing when your brain is telling itself "shut the fuck up so I can sleep"

>go to bed absolutely exhausted
>take 2 hours to get to sleep or wake up in 2 hours and can't get back to sleep
>go to sleep feeling relatively energetic and fall asleep in 20 minutes

And

>have to get up early for something
>can't sleep at all
>don't have to do anything or working late
>7-9 hours sleep

Has working night shifts for a whole year a couple of years back fucked me up?

>>389179080
what if upside down killers get him.
Haven't you heard of the hand-stand stabber

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>>389167942
>trying to fall asleep
>Brain goes full faggot
>You might not wake up tomorrow
every night.

>>389166053
You wish you could sleep LONGER than 8 hours a day? How the fuck do you even sleep that long? I work 13 hour shifts 4 days a week and I only sleep around 5 hours a day on average. I just can't stand sleeping longer than that.

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>>389186045
>For a week straight, every time I start to fall asleep, I get this heavy weight and take a big gasp
>As if I had stopped breathing without realizing and suddenly took a deep breathe before its too late
>Finally look up what it could be
>Sleep apnea
>Could actually die in my sleep

>>389186581
I sleep 4 hours one day then 12 hours the next. Sometimes it's even less/more. I slept for 14 hours the other day -- I came home from work, ate a bagel, immediately went to bed. woke up and went right back to work. Feels like you never left.

>>389176049
>wake up
>can't move
>see arms and hands coming out of every surface in my room, scratching away at the wood
>hear extremely loud scratching noises
>two figures are present in my room with their faces covered
>one of them was in the door opening
>the other was sitting next to me

Shit was so disturbing that I had difficulty following classes the rest of the day.

>wake up inside
>can't really wake up
>screaming for help
>nobody come to save me

>>389166513
>>389165323
exercise, you lazy dummies. lift weights, go for a walk, whatever. you guys need to tire yourselves.

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>>389167942
>>389186045
>start to fall asleep
>suddenly focus on heartbeat
>worry it's going to stop, so keep listening to it to make sure it's alright

>go to bed
>wake up, no problems
>feel awake all day
>go to class
>suddenly on the verge of passing out, sometimes do
What the fuck? How do I stop this?

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>>389165969
literally /b/ tier writing
fucking druggies

>>389191893
Protein

>>389192410
Can't be I don't eat carbs almost everything I eat is super high in protien

>work night shifts
>used to drink to get to sleep
>develop arthritis, medication doesn't fully fix the pain problem and drinking alcohol can be lethal
>lay awake for hours unable to get comfortable
>wake up feeling like sleep paralysis but its just my joints locking up
>start taking 25 mg Diphenhydramine to get to sleep
>works wonders
>fast foward six months
now I can't sleep without 200mg and it makes me feel like shit 24/7. I wish I would just die in my sleep already.