What was your most embarassing moment playing video games, /v/?

>inb4 300+ replies

when i bought dusk. fuck you dave. glad i refunded your shitty fucking game

Realizing that the most popular game reviewers like IGN etc. are absolutely terrible at video games.

In fact, they are so bad, that they rate things down just for being "hard" as if that's a flaw.

Not only that, but I'm 100% positive they watch gameplay videos instead of playing the game itself.

>>389146748
fpbp

fucking girl gamers dude

>>389146692
me peenus weenus la'

>>389146692
This is physically painful to watch.

>>389146692
>This is the target demographic of big-name video game publishers

How do you suck this badly?

>>389146812
ALso reminder that 99,9% of people that hate japanese games are polygon/ign/destructoid readers.

I was playing Mario Kart 8 once on my Nintendo 64 when I accidentally threw up all over the controller, I tried to clean up all the puke with my bare hands but it wasn't working. I tried to wipe the puke off with my bare eyes and it stung for 1 hour straight. During the hour I accidentally drove all the way to Singapore.

When I got there I realized that I was better at driving a real car with puke in my eyes, than I am at playing Mario Kart.

>>389146692

>the dark souls of side-scrollers


btw has anybody the promo video of the guy playing DOOM 2016 ?

>>389146692
How are they not able to apply the basic fundamentals of learning?

>well that didn't work.
>I should do it again the same.

>>389146812
Why do they do it at all?
I'm pretty sure this guy or the guy doing the Polygon D44M review did not have fun playing the game.
Why get into video games if you can't enjoy them? Are they all film aesthete wannabes?

>>389146692
This is clickbat, they make money form this.

Don't fall for it.

Their last video where some spastic played doom made them a shitload of money.

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>>389146692
>ss13
>playing for the first time
>server called "Citadel"
>reminds me of mass effect, i'll try
>join
>i have no idea how to play the game
>finally figure out the controls
>walk around the station, people running around
>eventually find a place that looked like a bar
>look at the text chat
>"Maya Barkley started furiously masturbating "
>fuckno.jpg
>close the game
i didn't realize i was playing on a furry erp sever

>>389147139
Just look at youtube. Every single gaming channel eventually drifts into more movie stuff than games. These people are just too shit to be anywhere else so they get dumped into games.
If you were to care for this guy's opinion on games, you might as well ask an illiterate what he thinks of a book or a blind person what he thinks of a movie.

>>389147154
>making money from posting a webm on /v/
Are you perhaps retarded?

>>389147154
that makes sense, but how is defaming yourself a sustainable plan?

>>389147154
This isn't polygon

>>389147092
>How are they not able to apply the basic fundamentals of learning?

Because they genuinely give zero fucks. They just want to get through the thing as fast as possible with as little mental effort as possible.

They could be that dumb sure. But more than likely they just literally give zero fucks about it at all. Which i think is even worse than just plain ole sucking since for whatever reason people like you just think they suck and are stupid instead of just really not caring about vidya at all. Meaning that people who give zero shits are allowed access and there for the ability to make shit that shapes opinions.

With the very least if they were just stupid and sucked cause it well it would still be kinda okay since they would still care about vidya...but they dont so best just ignore that type of shit all together for the sake of limiting its exposure and therefore its revenue.

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>>389146803
>having shit taste

>>389147235
almost joined that server because it reminded me of HL2 lmao

>playing re4 at friends house
>we are like 10 years old
>looked up cheats on my aol internet at the time before I went to his house
>find the up the skirt feature
>tell friend about it
>we do it
>his dad walks in
>asks what we are doing
>tells his dad I was showing him an up skirt trick in the game
>heart is racing
>sweat accumulating
>his dad laughs and walks away

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>>389147475
>defending unoptimized garbage

well memed friend

>>389147353
>tfw genuinely believe games are superior to movies
Movies are literally dumbed down books. I don't get why they have so much prestige.
And if you want to get into artform, both music and paintings are far superior to movies.
I fucking love books, though. And I'm not a /lit/ faggot.

>>389146692
sauce?

>>389146692
i like the part where the nimrod starts crouching, hoping it might do SOMETHING for him

>>389146692
oh god where did you find this video

>>389147550
they could choose a different name for a fetish server

>>389147864
>>389147805
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=848Y1Uu5Htk

>>389146812
>Watching someone else play Resident Evil 7 on YouTube: the Kotaku Review

I'm absolutely livid that this exists

Yes, it's real

http://kotaku.com/watching-someone-else-play-resident-evil-7-on-youtube-1791970555

I was playing Onimusha the other day and didn't realize the power and magic jewels were consumables to permanently boost your HP until halfway through the game. The game wasn't particularly difficult outside of those fucking Kaede sections where you have no way to regain HP besides stockpiling restoratives on Samanosuke's side but it was still a dumb moment.

>>389147664
>system requirements ever being accurate
The game can runs exceptionally well for a unity game.

>>389148110
>those comments
Hitler was an underachiever

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>>389147990
This is almost as bad as that one hack trying to play D44M

I'm absolutely terrible at MOBAs

>>389147006
>Wipe the puke off with my bare eyes

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>>389148110
>post yfw those comments

>>389147794
>I don't get why they have so much prestige.
>They're dumbed down books
You answered your own question.

>>389147990
oh man watching him play the level is actually so much worse

it's like this dude is incapable of learning anything

>>389147092
But sometimes trying the same thing is just what you need to pass in other games. Like if you miss a jump but only because you didn't go far enough or landed wrong.

>>389146692
DSP played this already?

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Spent an hour on 999's first puzzle. Got so mad I had to masturbate furiously just to calm down.

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>>389148530

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WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS FUCKING CUNT TRYING TO HIT? HAS HE EVER PLAYED MARIO?

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>>389147990
>skip through
>constantly see "you died"
>27 minutes in
>27 fucking minutes
>dude is still trying to jump on enemies like mario

Holy shit, man. Holy shit.

>>389148110
Eh, that's more like a gimmick article than anything else

>>389148186
bullshit.

>>389146692
Looks like the skill level of your average /v/ player

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>>389148929
>>389148918
https://venturebeat.com/2017/08/24/cuphead-hands-on-my-26-minutes-of-shame-with-an-old-time-cartoon-game/
Jesus fuck reading him talking about it is even worse:
>I didn’t realize for quite a long time that you don’t accomplish anything by jumping on top of an enemy, like in the Mario games

>>389149008
Maybe if you actually played the game before returning it, you would have seen for yourself

>>389146692
the person playing the game in that webm doesn't play games and doesn't report or work for a games related field, for the record

not that that excuses his utter lack of logical thinking

>>389149149
shit game quit shilling

>>389149148
How do you not learn that the second you fall on an enemy and see your character flashing invuln from taking damage? Even someone who has never played video games before would catch on in under a half hour. Even DSP would figure it out sooner.

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pfffffffffffft ahahahahahaha

>>389149431
2nd crash fucking when?

>>389148807
WAIT A MINUTE THAT KEYCARD

>>389149431
Where did we go so wrong.

>>389149224
That's not fair, you've been playing games for years you know what to do. The person in the OP hasnt

>Playing 1.6
>bomb has been planted
>get to it and try to defuse
>nothing happens
>panic.exe
>start panicking into the mic, "guys it wont let me defuse the bomb shit i dunno whats wrong with my game sorry guys it wont let me defuse" etc
>friend pipes up and reminds me we're on terrorists

i still cringe when i think about this.

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>>389147664
>2GB RAM
>9800GTX
>Dual Core
>for a game that should run on an old Voodoo and a Pentium 3

So this is the power of Unity

>>389149431
>I suck
>but I should be allowed to suck

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>>389149431

>>389149321
>SH-ILL, MOM LOOK I SAID IT AGAIN SHIL SHILL SHILL *braaaaaaap* MOOOOMMMMIE DOOOOODIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>389146692
These are the people reviewing your games, claiming to be gamers and changing the industry to suit their political beliefs

>>389149431
preach brotha

Fuck it I'm posting the article:

>I suck at Cuphead. Let’s get this out of the way. But in my defense, the run-and-gun platformer from Studio MDHR and Microsoft is difficult.

>The old-time cartoon style game comes out on September 29 on Windows and the Xbox One, and I got a good preview of the game at the Gamescom event in Cologne, Germany. It turns out that it’s harder than it looks, and that is part of its appeal. While my performance on the captured video below is quite shameful, as I never finished the level, I think it shows quite well why Cuphead is fun and why making hard games that depend on skill is like a lost art.

>Maja Moldenhauer, the sole inking artist at Studio MDHR, walked us through a tutorial for Cuphead before letting us loose. It was a bad sign when I took a long time to figure out how to jump off a stone and dash through the air to get over a bigger stone. Moldenhauer said the proper term was “challenging,” not “difficult.” But I quickly put the lie to that terminology.

>Go ahead, laugh your heart out at my expense.

>Cuphead is a run-and-gun action platformer with hand-drawn art that is inspired by animations from the 1930s. It was inspired by the subversive art of Fleischer Studios, Disney, and others. While Cuphead may remind you of the cup character in Beauty and the Beast, it actually was inspired by a 1936 Japanese propaganda film where a man with a teacup head turns into a tank.

>As I started the new level, I talked to Mac on the bridge and then went into the action in the Forest Follies section. This was supposed to be the first of several sections we could play, but I didn’t make it very far. The story sections of the game were deleted, and I was able to go straight to gameplay. Of course, I expect the final game to have a lot more emphasis on gameplay over story, as the designers of the game — Chad and Jared Moldenhauer — are known for that style with their previous game, Super Meat Boy, from 2010.

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>>389146692
>be kid
>make two male sims have sex
>show my dad

>>389147990

How the fuck does ANYONE take video game journalists seriously?

>>389146692
>>389147990
so these are the people that consolefaggots rely on to hype up their shit games? huh...

>>389149750
>are known for that style with their previous game, Super Meat Boy, from 2010.
Beyond fucking pathetic.

>>389149750
Why not just archive it?

>>389149750
2/2

>I could have played a co-op game with another person, and that would have been a good idea as a newbie. But I went straight into it, even after a PR person told me he couldn’t finish a level.

>I didn’t realize for quite a long time that you don’t accomplish anything by jumping on top of an enemy, like in the Mario games. Rather, you lose a life. It took me a reminder as well that you can change the type of shot.

>The red bullets spray in several directions at once, while the blue ones go in a straight line. The blue bullets have a longer range, but the red ones are good for a shotgun-style blast.

>There are a variety of ways to die unexpectedly. I died by jumping into a bush instead of jumping to a cliff. I think you’ll all agree that at the very end of the video, it was very unfair that I died by jumping into the forest canopy. I think you’ll agree that life isn’t fair, at least in Cuphead. I’ve played the game for a total of 26 minutes, but I figure it might take 1,000 times that for me to complete this game, if my initial 26 minutes of shame are an indicator.

Bonus content, this steam thread where a guy complains about how Hollow Knight should have easier difficulty settings and a bunch of guys agree with him:
https://steamcommunity.com/app/367520/discussions/0/135510194250374210/

>>389148562
kek

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>>389148794
can't pay my bills dood

>>389149939
Because people are less likely to click a link than read a post.

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>>389149431
again, a reminder that that dude does not play games and doesn't work in a games related field, he works for VentureBeat but not in the games field

so why his gameplay was chosen to be recorded and actually fucking uploaded is a reason i'll never understand

>>389149585
this has literally nothing to do with how experienced you are with games and should be easily 'solvable' by anyone with an iota of critical thinking.

>the game displays how to jump on the screen
>the game displays how to dash on the screen and specifies and can be used both in the air and on the ground
>there is an obstacle that's too tall to jump over from the ground
>there's a conveniently placed smaller obstacle you can jump on nearby on an otherwise featureless blank floor
>you now have the height to make the jump but not the range
>using the dash like the game specifically tells you you can use demonstrates it gives horizontal movement

If dumb fuck 5 year olds can figure out they need to jump into the paintings in Mario 64 than an adult with a functioning brain should realize what they need to do in that webm in <5 seconds with another 10-20 depending on inept they are with the controls.

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>>389150206
how come he's written three (3) books about video games, not to mention his bio

>He has been a tech journalist for more than 25 years, and he has covered games for 18 years

So what's the verdict? Is Cup Head worth playing or?

>>389147074
You mean this one?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yYp8ZeQ-I8

>>389146692

>the dark souls of platformers

It all makes sense now

>>389150413
Is the new Doom good?

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>>389150413
>comments are disabled for this video

>>389150653
Yes.

>>389150653
Great game on the PC.

Kinda easy unless you play on harder difficulties

I like watching IGN play games because it reminds me of when I was a kid and I screamed at the fuckers on Nick Arcade because of how bad they were

>>389150358
nigga ive been 'covering' video games for 18+ years but you wont ever see it on my fucking resume. thats like anyone who was born in the 80s or even 90s at this point.

>>389147452
>They could be that dumb sure
There's no doubt, they are dumb as fuck. Journalists are really, really stupid people. Especially journalists who are so shitty and incompetent they couldn't even get a job at a real outlet.

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>>389146692
This is played by Polygon or IGN, isnt it?

I am in Bronze V that is embarassing enough

>>389146692
Probably forgetting I could slide in Batman Arkham City and being stuck trying to get into the GPD building.

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>>389147235
At least you didn't join yogstation. Colonial marines was my first server because it was the highest pop.

>>389150908
The obvious implication is that he was being paid for covering 18 years worth of games.
Unlike you and me.

>>389149717
jeeze dave thats pretty pathetic of you

>>389149148
http://archive.is/6FGOl

Just as amusing (Or sad) to read as it was to watch.

>>389146692
It wasnt really my fault, but the part where the dragon releases an ocean of piss in drakengard 3. I seriously never came so close to turning a game off and never touching it ever again than I did in that moment.

>>389151353
I got hopelessly lost playing Wind Waker too. I had no idea where to go next. Also the first time I did Pandemonium on Lord of Destruction we were getting annihilated as soon as we went into the portal. It took me a day to find the last three gems in Spyro 2 even though I knew what level they were on.

>>389149585
>pick the one guy in the office who doesn't play video games to review the video game
LOCK ME IN A HOLE AND THROW AWAY THE HOLE

>>389149596
It's okay I once accidentally hit the walk toggle without noticing it during a WoW arena match and it went like
>"HOLY SHIT WHY ARE YOU MOVING SO SLOWLY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY DEBUFFS, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"
>"DUDE I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING IT'S NOT MY FAULT".
We continued like that for at least 3 minutes or so.

>>389151889
Because you needed to fap?

>>389152086
I'm not into furries, dragons, piss or animals. Guess why it was ridiculing to be subjected to watch.

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>>389150681
>ratings too
at least VentureBeat has the balls to let people be honest about their horse shit

>>389152353
It's okay, Anon. Lots of people have strange fetishes.

>>389146692
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU FUCK JUST JUMP THE FUCKING THING FUICK YOU DFMB FUCK

>>389151727
>le ebin shill maymay xD
Just stop, you're embarrassing yourself

>>389147362
The webm is taken from a youtube video on their own youtube channel page, it already has 56k views and they keep shilling it

>>389150358
>"this son of a bitch is making money being stupid and basically you are stupid. click here to learn more"

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>>389146692

>>389148807
Whats the first puzzle?

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>>389146692

>>389152353
>not into dragons
The rest are good, but that is unforgivable.

>>389155125
i made this gif years ago

>>389146692

That webm is making me so fucking angry, well done

>>389154553
>56k
Wow it's literally nothing

>>389146692

Playing DC Universe Online
>What was I thinking?

>>389155182
If that's true could you provide the source?
Couldn't find shit on youtube.

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18 years

>>389149610
People should be allowed to suck at a game, but a video game journalist with 22 years of experience should not.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/deantak/

>>389146692
>Americans playing video games

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>Playing BF3
>Kicking ass having a blast
>24/7 Damavaad Peak, Rush
>Cat walks into room
>Sit's on my lap. purring.
>Anytime I die or am not looking at screen petting and playing with cat.
>Saying autistic pet stuff (refuse to believe i'm the only one who does this)
>"Hello Mr Cuddles, you're such a cute meowmer"
>15 minutes later cat leaves room
>Twas fun while it lasted
>Out of the corner of my eye see a spec of green.
>OWOWhatsthis?
>Mic was turned on the whole fucking time, nobody said anything
>Leave server, never play on it again.
>mfw

>>389157079
you made that up after seeing https://streamable.com/uyhju didn't you

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>>389157665
No, but I have no way to prove myself otherwise so I guess I did.

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>>389146692
Not "most", but I've just been playing The Surge, trying to kill black cerberus boss in the way to get the armour and 2.0 weapon and it's fucking stomping on me constantly.
Beaten BB at lvl 4 and souls games at lvl 1, but this has taken 20+ tries so far.
Get killed in 2 fucking hits and I'm using single-rigged weapon so it's quite slow, but I keep getting hit.

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started nerdraging at a couple of BRs in GTA online a couple years ago even tho i'm usually chiller than that and normally don't even play with a mic, but for some reason they were really fucking annoying to me, as we're going back and forth in a deathmatch two against one and i can only get a kill in every one time they kill me.

all the while i'm screaming at these couple of people who probably can't even hear me, and even if they could, probably don't understand english anyway, i realize someone from the same 4chan clan i'm in is somewhere nearby on the map just watching me. at that point i realize i'm acting like a childish idiot and just switch sessions.

this just sticks out as one of my most painful memories in vidya history. it's difficult to bear and cope with the fact that even if you can be 100% chill in intense situations you still have that small potential to lose your cool and revert to a 13 year old angsty tryhard teenager that has to insult everyone when they start losing in a competitive match on xbox.

>>389158737
Every once in a while I have these moments where my mind goes blank and actively tries to catch the projectiles.

>>389158737
She probably saw it change direction and immediate reflex being it was changing towards her direction.

>>389149776
l o l

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>yfw the devs make the game easier because of one jackass

>>389158917
>>389158967
She died on purpose for the video but made it really obvious

I got completly stuck near the start in Ico because I didn't realise there was a dedicated button to swing on chains.

I gave up early on in SotC because there was a jump that I didn't believe there was any way of me making.

I realised only after completing The Last Gaurdian that you could combine the call button with duck and jump to perform additional commands.

I think Team Ico kind of suck at tutorials.

I got stuck in the beginning of Skyward Sword when you use the Wiimote to raise the Master Sword.

>>389159304
I doubt they'll look at this and take it as anything more than a joke.

>>389153238
davie

>>389147664
What am I looking at?

>>389146837
This first post is the best post bros!

>>389146803
>>389147664
Hey, aren't you that autistic faggot who threw a shit fit because nobody read your mind and guessed what game these requirements were for?

Not the "most" but one time I just lost a match of ARMS (not even competitive mode) I was pissed and my nephew came in and said "Uncle Anon?" and I screamed at the top of my lungs "WHAT?!?" He ran out of the room holding is ears and crying

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>>389149431
Okay so I read some of the responses to the video where I spend 20 minutes reviewing my eating experience with the banana. I think it's useful to show people the dificulty that can be expected for people with less experience with fruit than I have. It's not like an apple where you can just bite in. And that is something the banana salesmen should make consumers AWARE of. People who have no prior experience with peels are going to be left behind, and either be left with a horribly bitter taste in their mouth like I was or are just going to stay hungry. And maybe you are okay with that. Should I have looked up a guide first to make sure I know how to properly operate the banana peel? Like some perfect scripted dining showcase? When people tell me I am just supposed to KNOW how to peel a banana on my first try, that's yet another blatant showcase of elitism and exclusion that has plagued the fruit consumption community for years. I will not buy into your fragmented world of hate, it's apples for me, and that's okay. Bananas are OVER. #patrion

>>389161709
Oh shit, didn't finish my story cause the thread was about to die but, later my Great Aunt came in and asked me to set up a 2 player game for them. I didn't even get in trouble. He kind of got in trouble because he didn't say thanks. I still feel bad

Dean did nothing wrong. The devs should have made the platform lower. They are at fault here.

>>389149148

The only thing I'll give him is that getting hit by enemies coming from the top of the screen (that is also obscured by the treetops) is proper bullshit.

>>389146692
Not me, but I remember an anon in a thread a few years ago who celebrated when they reached level 99 in wood cutting in runescape back in the golden years of the game. I lost the screenshot of the thread, but it was fun.