Why are gaming "journalists" so bad at games?

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>>389116993
No. I refuse to believe this is real.

>>389116993
I think have cancer now
I hope it's terminal

>jump on A
>dash on Y
Why

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>>389116993
OH MY FUCK

>>389116993
they don't actually like or play video games, they spread propaganda. death to journalists.

>>389116993
Where is this from?

>>389116993
Mind is too preoccupied thinking about nepotism, deception, and sexual favors.

>>389116993
i don't even know. You would think a group of people who supposedly spend most of their time playing games would be at least decent and them.

>>389116993
There is no reaction image or webm powerful enough to express my absolute disdain towards this player.

>>389117061
Not only is it real but he went on to die repeated on the first level, never getting past the first few steps.

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>>389116993
THIS CANT BE REAL
NOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A quick reminder from a earlier thread about it

Just to make you think for a bit, You guys agree that videogame journalist are fuckign retard, who know fucking nothing about videogames, right?

What if every other kind journalist (political, science, economy, you name it) is also retarded but you don't instantly see it since you don,t know the subject much?

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>>389116993
Literally

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>>389116993
WHY? Why does it hurt to watch?

>>389116993

woooooow dude how the fuck was I supposed to know

>>389116993
The problem with this tutorial is that the developers are attempting to teach three mechanics in a single lesson.

>hold A to jump higher
>press Y to mid-air dash
>you can use the environment in order to go forward, sometimes paradoxically requiring you to go backwards first

There should have been 2 pillars of different elevations right next to each other that trained the player on how to use the high jump and reminded them that platforms can be used to get on top of other platforms before attempting to teach the air dash. Each individual lesson should teach as few mechanics as possible so that slower learners (like journalists) can isolate these mechanics and understand what's going on.

t. math tutor

This person has to be a woman

>>389117558
Because it's painful to watch. Just like an ape killing himself with a grenade.

>>389116993
Looks like some kind of early generation neural network trying to advance through the level.

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>>389117618
EVEN THEN there is no fucking way in hell a person who plays vidya for a living should get stuck this long on this.
after the 7th or 8th time you would have thought they would have realized.

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>>389117553

>>389117746
That's copy pasted from a thread.

>>389117624
Hard to believe but it's actually an asian guy.

>>389117618
Niggah, that's not real life, and you won't lose your job if you say that Leshawn here is retarded.
Don't excuse this 50 IQ trash.

>>389116993
Didn't he admit in the most round about way that he's never played a videogame in his life?

They're failed writers and video games media is the lowest of the low and the people who check their sites aren't actually reading their opinion pieces and reviews but just looking for a score.

just think that there are people this bad who are testers

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>>389117786
im killing myself if this is real

>>389116993
its just like watching a younger sibling play

Most people are just bad at video games.
Maybe not this bad, granted, but it can be startling to watch anybody play when they haven't been playing since they were five.

Honestly?

It's because "video game journalism" today is 99.999% keeping up to date with your social media garbage and the remainder is actually playing games.
These people are more likely to take pics with vidya/geek merch so they can increase their social media profile than actually play what they're reviewing or, god forbid, play older games so they can be better at their job.

And that's on top of everyone these days having an attention span of a gnat and no patience with anything that doesn't have objective markers flashing wildly so you know EXACTLY what you need to do at any given moment.

Sometimes, apparently, even that is not enough.

>>389117553
>What if every other kind journalist (political, science, economy, you name it) is also retarded but you don't instantly see it since you don,t know the subject much?
>"anyone who isn't a Democrat is a Nazi"
>"the eclipse is racist"
>"socialism"
I'd fucking believe it, anon.

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>>389116993
>Someone get's paid for this

>>389117061
>>389117357
>>389117536
https://youtu.be/848Y1Uu5Htk

>>389116993
DSP tries it~

>neo-/v/ is just starting to realize that game journalists don't actually play video games and haven't for almost a decade now

>>389117553
People who write for science journals and the other topics you mentioned actually have degrees in the topic they write about though.

>>389116993
What infuriates me more than anything is that there must be hundreds, if not thousands, of more qualified individuals. These fucking people don't deserve the position they have. Actually, how in the fucking hell did they get to become "journalists" in the first place? Why isn't competency in a field a requirement anymore? Why in the holy fucking hell is the general mainstream public ok with this shit? Fuck man, I really just don't get it.

>>389117618
>game tells you how to air dash
>hmmmm I can't air dash over this pillar from the ground
>COULD THERE PERHAPS BE A PLACE NEARBY WHERE I COULD JUMP HIGHER?
This isn't rocket science. Journalists are just retards who can't use basic reasoning skills. It's a wonder how they managed to learn how to use a computer to post their stupid video game reviews.

>>389117618

>problem with the tutorial

Yes....yes, we need to dumb it down further. Less obstacles, more streamlined.
Maybe if he fails to progress the game takes over and autopilots it or there is a "skip" button.

Can't have people feel inadequate while playing these games, it hurts profits.

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>>389117929
>*gets
Time for bed

>>389117553
I dunno I feel like this is different, more of what we call politically/science/economic journalists are really just general journalism grads without necessarily backgrounds in that field.

Video game journalists are at least in principal more specialized, which is why one of them acting like they've never played a video game before is so fucking offputting.

someone post the HL2 tester image

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>>389117934

>they changed the title of the video after everyone started complaining... it was: "Cuphead demo at Gamescom: It isn't easy"

>>389116993

Same with people who review and sell cars. They know little to nothing about them with no real useful information. But this isn't new.

>>389118048
>Maybe if he fails to progress the game takes over and autopilots it or there is a "skip" button.
Nintendo already added such feature in one of the Galaxies

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>>389118014

>Why isn't competency in a field a requirement anymore?

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>>389118048
>tfw you now remember that one game that had a "cinematic mode" that let you skip all the gameplay and just watch the dialogue/cutscenes

>>389117553
the difference is that real journalists wouldn't claim to be judging their subject matter from a position of expertise
if me and my uneducated buddies get together and start a blog about what theoretical physicists are working on, we could potentially be a useful resource to the general public by reporting what the scientists have told us directly and giving some very basic background information on the subject matter that the general public might find relevant. neither the journalist nor the reader is expected to understand fully what's going on.
videogame journalism, at least in the context of reviewing games, differs in that we expect the reviewer to be knowledgeable about the game and to pass that information on to similarly-capable readers/viewers. being an expert doesn't demand a decade of study, just a few hours and determination. there are experts everywhere.
even basic economics is far more complex than videogame reviews

>>389117951
What fuck!?
I can't jump high enough!
I'm literally pressing the button as hard as possible.
This shitty game is bugged.
WOOOOW.

>>389116993
This is legit making me furious just watching it. How the fuck are these people's opinions taken as fact?

this makes me really want to become a gaming journalist because this is the competition
how do i get in

>>389117847
It's not just videogame man.

Every single kind of journalism is like that. I majored in chemistry and geology, and i can say that easily a half of science reporting is blatantly retarded. Either the journo extrapolates wildly, mixes cause and effect or simply overhype a discovery into a fuckign cure for cancer (or the other way around, Fukushima gonna kill us ANY DAY NOW kinda shit)

i'm pretty sure that people from other background could give examples for their specialties.
And yet, i have to force myself to not trust what's written in the paper instantly. Fuck this shit

>>389118202
what gaem? Metroid Other M?

>>389116993
This guys is worse than my gf who never played games until I forced her.
You know what it's prolly similar. He never played games until his job forced him.

>>389118197
Fuck off Nazi, just because someone bullshitted there way into a job they can't do well doesn't mean shit.

>>389118273
If you're white, make, straight, cisgendered, or any combination of the four you're already shit outta luck.

>>389118014
the game journo industry is a massive circle jerk these days, it's all just who you know and who you networked with beforehand, there are no real requirements beyond having a friend in the right place, all of these people have bachelors in writing or just general journalism, if anything

gaming is a fad right now, it's not that much of a stretch that the journo industry that covers it would be filled with faux nerd hipsters that don't actually play games

I could do the crouching long jump in HL1 at 11. How are these people so retarded.

>>389118278

Blame the advent of clickbait journalism.

The actual text of the review is full of empty buzzwords and stock phrases. It's all about a juicy clickbait headline that makes the reader navigate to the page and that's that.

Literally the only metric left.

>>389117061
It was a social experiment! He went in cold!

>>389116993
Hardly unreasonable. Took two glances for me to figure out what they were actually asking for.

I'm betting this is the pre-emptive damage control for when Cuphead gets mediocre reviews.

>>389117618
I know this is pasta, but he jumped at the piller almost twenty times before he latched on the idea of using the smaller block for height. Twenty times. And this isn't a mentally ill child we're talking about, this is an adult. It's an absolute failure of understanding when an idea just doesn't work.

>>389118345
>anyone who thinks society is slowly deteriorating and declining is a Nazi

wow, and you people still can't figure out why Trump won, really brines my cucumbers and activates my almonds

>>389117618
>t. math tutor

What you're describing is how to teach math to a remedial student. An in-game "tutorial" in this sense is a misnomer. It's not the equivalent of tutoring, it's the equivalent of the teacher giving a lesson: it should be geared towards an average player not a remedial player. And a game reviewer/journalist shouldn't be a remedial player.

>>389118480
>Took two glances
get out

>>389118014
because to write you need to go to arts school and those that did don't play many video games and will take any job they can get

>>389117983
i'm not talkin about peeer reviewed journals, those are a massively good ressources. What fucks with me are random bozos in the daily paper reading an article from nature (or more accurately, the first few paragraphs) then reporting. Reading anything related to nuclear energy in non scientific sources is physically painfull from all the blatent stupidity on display.

>>389116993
What if he was drunk and using only one hand?

>>389118480

I can see the headline already

"The Dark Souls of platformers"

>>389118514
To conservatives, society has been slowly deteriorating and declining for thousands of years.

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>>389117934

>>389118514
Can I activate your cucumber, anon?

>>389118048
Honestly, a tutorial should be as easy as possible in order to teach the player in the most effective way it can. After the basics are established then the game can get as crazy tough as the developers want.

>>389118537
Popsci is cringy garbage for Big Bang Theory fans, this is known.

>>389118480
>Giant DASH text and button in the air
>Text says you can dash in the air
>Normal jump is not high enough to pass, if only you had a bit more height

I'm sorry to say that you might be a bit dumb in the head, friend.

>>389118197
>being so stupid he think hs can categorize contemporary art.
>being so stupid he thinks he can decide good and bad art.
What a dick. I bet he never even studied aesthetics.

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https://youtu.be/7FD-uwu847Q

>>389118601

Are you implying this tutorial is not easy?

>>389118202
Rez more or less has a game mode like that, yet /v/ sucks that game's dick.

>>389118664

Contemporary art is garbage that has everything to do about branding and nothing to do about actual aesthetics, you triple pleb.

>>389118513
this

this level of failure goes far beyond the context of video games, it is a sign of actual diagnosable mental retardation, just because it's a video game doesn't excuse the severe lack of basic problem solving, I can tell you with 100% certainty this guy's iq is less than 90

>>389118642
But is it known that the journalist reporting from some middle eastern shithole isn't talking out of his ass? After all, we do have plenty of agency whose job is to fucking lie.

Who can you trust?

>>389116993
Another thing later that annoyed me in the video was when he was talking to the NPC about something he ended up going through the dialoge like 4 or 5 times because he didn't read it at all, I really do not understand why companies allow people who don't care about video games to review them. These stupid journalists who can't do the basic of tasks should be fired but they wont because stupid fucking reasons.

>>389118683
It's easy, but as the other anon said, it should be borderline brain dead so that anyone can learn it.

>>389118667
>think I'm bad at FPS
>see this guy who refuses to move and aim at the same time
wew

>>389118568
the hyperbole doesn't help your argument anon, conservatism wasn't even a concept until the late 1700s

>>389118745
Literally not true read read Danto's after art. It's based on Hegels aesthetics and deceleration that we had reached the end of art. Not that you care about philosophy.

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>>389116993
I wish I had never entered this thread.

>>389118521
>>389118648
Years of playing platformers has me automatically assuming that the part after the jump tutorial is the double jump tutorial. Though at least I was substantially quicker in figuring it out than whoever playing this was.

>>389118757
>But is it known that the journalist reporting from some middle eastern shithole isn't talking out of his ass

Primary sources and corroboration. Popsci is shit because it's some uneducated journalist reading a dumbed down summary of an actual paper and then extrapolating it with wild speculation.

Journalists who actually go to the middle east and report there aren't the equivalent of popsci, they're the peer-reviewed scientific papers that the actual equivalent of popsci (tv news networks) misrepresent.

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>>389117746
They don't play vidya. They rush through the gameplay to get to the cutscenes so they can write about it. When's the last fucking time you've seen anybody, let alone journalists, actually discuss videogame mechanics with any sort of depth? They'll gush about aesthetics, the plot, the characters, the glitches, but never how the game functions in terms of button presses. The closest they'll get it how the combat "feels" to them, and that's it.

>>389117837
>>389118028
>>389118513
>>389118515
The journalists being retards doesn't excuse bad tutorial design. Tutorials are supposed to be for people who don't get it. Any good game has a manual that can be read, and any good player pushes all the buttons to figure out what they do without needing a tutorial to tell them.

>>389116993
Jesus Christ, is this the absolute state of gamers?

>>389118954
*its called "after the end of art" sorry it's been awhile since I read it.

>>389117934
This is like watching my 4-year old nephew play, except he gives zero shits about playing well. And it seriously pisses off his older brother when watching him.

>>389118417
Cold to what?
interactive media as a whole?
Has he never held a remote for a tv before?
Has he never held a ball and cup?
Has never held a spoon?
Does he have no hands?
Nothing explains how new to video games you have to be to be that fucking bad at a game.

>>389116993
Is that gameplay of a /v/ player

>>389117618
I'm pretty sure most gamers with functional motor skills would be able to get past it without even that much thought put into it.

>>389119029
And the CIA has NEVER, EVER given weapon and training for Muhjadeen. Osama bin Laden never was portrayed as a freedom fighter against those evil russkies.
Quaddafi is totally the worse fuckign dictator ever and needs to get knife raped, nah don't worry the region won't be destabilised to shit and there's no chance of unvetted brown people will flood europe.

https://venturebeat.com/2017/08/24/cuphead-hands-on-my-26-minutes-of-shame-with-an-old-time-cartoon-game/

> I didn’t realize for quite a long time that you don’t accomplish anything by jumping on top of an enemy, like in the Mario games. Rather, you lose a life.

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>>389119386

>>389119386
Some nigger never played Metal Slug or Contra in his life.

>>389119079
The tutorial is extremely fucking simple

>this button makes you jump
>this button let's you dash on the ground or in the air
>attempting to use the dash midair shows it gives horizontal movement
>jump is not high enough to get over pillar
>jumping from small pillar gives enough height but not enough range
>

A literal 5 year old could complete this task in half the OP webm time.

>>389119079
>Tutorials are supposed to be for people who don't get it.
a distinction needs to be between "person who doesn't immediately understand the controls" and "people who lacks basic spatial problem solving skills"

the former is something that nearly everyone, has to go through for at least every new game even if you get faster at it. the latter is something that people only really go through once as they get familiar with the genre

>>389119386

wonder if anybody said the same thing about contra

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now he gets more exposure, clicks and money
good job guys
also game looks disappointing

>>389118667
Feels more like someone who isn't used to aiming with a controller than a complete fucking retard.
At least this person can move backwards to get a better chance to hit when they see the reticule isn't inside the enemy.

>>389118954
>>389119113
I'll check it out.

>>389118345
>>389118568
This falseflagging shit is getting annoying.

>>389119340
This post has literally nothing to do with my post.

>>389118480
>maybe if I keep trying the same shit for a minute straight instead of evaluating the situation, I will eventually jump over this obstacle

>>389117127
if its xbox layout that makes sense. A and Y are very easily pressed in respective succession

>>389119605
>Feels more like someone who isn't used to aiming with a controller than a complete fucking retard.
Mmm, no, I'm not used to aiming with a controller and I could play MUCH better than that.
That person was, GUARANTEED, looking at the controller every few seconds because they forgot what each button did.
Guaran-fucking-teed.

>>389119605
>Feels more like someone who isn't used to aiming with a controller than a complete fucking retard

The player literally cannot comprehend the idea of using both sticks at the same time

>>389116993
wow this is as bad as that doom (2016) gameplay from kotaku

>>389119756
It's not on Switch so it can only be Xboner layout.

>>389117934
>got barely 10 steps into the first level before dying

>Halo 4 is absolute masterpiece in terms of storytelling, presentation and whatever
>9.7/10, Polygon

>>389117929
Someone, somewhere, likely at this very moment, is being paid to have their dick sucked.

The world is a strange place.

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>>389116993

>>389116993
let me guess, IGN? Polygon?

>>389120013
And I bet you think you're so much better at getting your dick sucked, don't you?

REMINDER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UujtfN7hCdo

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>>389116993
no one is that retarded, nice try OP

>>389119756
But A is below Y, with the side buttons in the way. I guess it's not a huge deal though, IIRC Ori maps a bunch of shit to the triangle button and it's not a problem

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>>389118667

>>389120112
Giantbomb.

>>389120167
I have no idea. I assume there's some kind of certification process to prove you're qualified.

>>389117553
Video game journalists are just failed normal journalists. Deep down they know this, so in a fit of Napoleon Complex driven depression they try to justify their existence by being more moral and abstract than their audience.

When viewed through this lens, many things make much more sense.

>>389120358
Managed to kill someone and not die like a bitch as on foot d.va to a group of 4 people..
that's not bad.
Unless Polygon was the part of or the entire enemy team.

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>see the first second of it
>"oh i know what he's gonna do. i might've done this to-"
>look at time stamp after 10 seconds
>1:25

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This is the reason why cuhrayzee action games will never exist again. No one is going to greenlight a stylish action game when the market is filled with these type of players.

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>>389118197
Bad art is still bad art.
Grammar and spelling is still important.
People prefer being clean than dirty.
People still have good manners.
Family life is still a natural thing that occurs.
Criminals at least deserve some consideration for their basic human rights.
Many homes and classrooms are orderly as well as disorderly. That's always been a mixed bag.
There is still a right and wrong that people believe in and people are usually jailed for those wrongs.
Violence and soft pornography are still consistently contested by prudish busy bodies such as yourself and often people lean more to your sensibilities when it comes to censorship of said subjects.
Fuck this. Fuck you.

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>My six year old nephew managed to figure out roll-jumping in Donkey Kong Country all on his own.
>This adult can't even do a basic airdash in a safe hand-holding tutorial section that spells it out for him.

>>389120548
Yeah it's more about the enemy team not able to kill a suitless D.va with 4 people because they can't aim for shit

>>389120643
Were cuhrayzee action games actually hard? I've never actually played one

>>389117391
Lmao

>>389120791
Hard enough that Capcom wont make DMC5.

>>389120791
They're not, you can easily cheese every DMC3 boss with the correct weapon and style combinations.

>>389120791

Not particularly hard to complete but it does take some skill to play them at a high/flashy level. There's usually a fair amount of moves, timings, cancels and directional inputs to cope with. They are pretty far from the modern 'press one button and something awesome happens'.

>>389118515
Scafolding new info is not a teaching technique you only use on remedial students

>>389120924
>t.pro DMC player

>>389116993
This is fucking pathetic, like retard level shit.

>>389117618
I work for a publishing company in their math division, and I thought the same thing

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>>389120791
Even if you suck at DMC you can grind green stars for healing items, holy water for bombs and golden orbs for extra lives.

>>389121060
I suck at DMC3 that's how I learned from gamefaqs that every boss had a cheesable combo.

>>389119079
Is that book good or crap?

>>389118954
man that art history major sure came in handy for winning internet arguments didnt it
too bad it wasnt good for anything else

>>389121172
No boss has a cheese combo. Unless you mean Royal Guard which isn't cheese and actually takes a lot of skill.

>>389117618
Yeah, no.
The tutorial is fine, it's just that the journalist doesn't understad that he needs to combine the two lessons that are LITERALLY writen in plain fucking english on the screen.

The game tries to teach you how too look for opportunities in your environment to more effectively use the level design to your advantage.
Even a five year old with poor reading skills would figure this out, hell, I played through a lot of ''dark souls'' platformers when I was growing up and if I managed to figure this shit out WITHOUT the game straight up telling me how to do it, then these ''''''''''''''''journalists'''''''''''''''' that gets paid for this and are somewhere between the ages of 20-40 years old, should be able to figure this shit out.

>The problem with this tutorial is that the developers are attempting to teach three mechanics in a single lesson.

Please don't ever say this to a dev or publisher. We don't need more dumbed down games than we already have.

>>389120420
>Video game journalists are just failed normal journalists
Its worse, they are stealth outsourced PR.

>>389120943
So kinda like Furi minus the bullet hell?

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>>389116993
I never get a chance to post this anymore, but it's relevant.

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>>389117934

>>389116993
watching this physically hurts

>>389121420
>I need to retreat!
At least they know they're casuals

>>389116993

You ever heard the expression, "Those who can't do, teach."?

Same thing applies to video games. "Those who can't play games, write about them."

>>389117934
Literally the dark souls of shoot-n-runs

>>389120791
NGB if that counts as "cuhrayzee". Most of the time people seem to mean DMC and Bayonetta with that though and those are easier.

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>>389116993

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>>389121420
>0 damage
>Attack anyways

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>>389118197
Oh, look. A conservative that that assumes everything and is wrong on every on almost all of it. No surprises here.

>>389117553
I wish that was true. But for scientific journals, you have to go through 6 gazillion hoops just to get your paper and it's findings published.
t. Biochemist

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>>389116993
>>389121620

>>389121316
Alright I just made that memory of looking up noob friendly strategies on gamefaqs up. I'm totally a liar.

>>389118127
It's not easy being Dean

>>389121420
What am I looking at here?

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>>389116993
>>389121620
>>389121715

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>>389116993
I feel kind of proud of him for learning after a minute & a half.

>>389116993
I refuse to believe this isn't some sort of learning algorithm, there's no way this is an actual person.

>>389121703
Hey, no you don't. There's TONS of journals that will gladly publish your work without all of that bureaucratic red tape. All it'll require is a small fee, hmm?

>>389121715
Jesus. What platform was that on? It wasnt PC was it?

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>>389121528
>>389121621
If I recall the actual video correctly, she wasn't reading any of the numbers but instead using characters emotes to determine if she should attack or not. Unfortunately for her, Saizo wears a fucking mask.

>>389121715
>>389121620
>>389120358
>>389119310
>>389116993
That is fucking disgusting.
The only gaming related channels I watch are funhaus and giantbomb. GB is the only channel actually knowledgeable about the shit they're talking about and not garbage at the games. And funhaus fucks up on purpose to be funny, one of like three groups of people on the entire internet that understand acting like promlg sweatfag isn't interesting or entertaining.

>>389116993


>consider myself bad at vidya now because i have shit reaction times and struggled quite a bit with Sonic Mania (still had fun)
>see this shit

I guess I'm not nearly as bad as I thought I was.

>>389121882
Pretty sure it was PS4.

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>>389117934
Dear god. Who is hiring these troglodytes?

>>389121914
>giantbomb
>not garbage at the games

LOL

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>>389116993
Because gaming journalists do not play or even care about video games and only exist for companies to pay for good publicity.

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>>389116993
Those fuckers have sponge for brain.

>>389121914
>giantbomb
Having seen their Monster Hunter World stuff and their videos on past Monster Hunter games, no, Giantbomb is fucking trash.

>>389121318
The casualization of tutorials is the last thing you need to stress about

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>>389117934
This man could get hired as a playtester.

>>389116993
THIS IS DEAN TAKAHASHI'S FIRST TIME EVER THAT HE PLAYED THE GAME! Were you ever good when you first played Super Mario Brothers, let alone any other game? The answer is a most resounding no, so you can kindly have a cup of shut the fuck up on that account alone. Second, I doubt that YOU have ever played this game yourself. Third, if you have played this game, then I also doubt that you have the fucking balls to post a walkthrough of this game on here yourself. Now go fuck yourself, you damn hypocritical, lying, narcissistic, judgmental, immature, intolerant, and elitist douchebag! Thank you.

>>389121837
I meant real journals like jama and etc., not the numale shit you see nowadays.

>>389121791
>Her unit has a 70% chance of doing 10 damage to an enemy with 25 HP
>Enemy unit has a 98% chance of doing two 20 damage attacks to her unit that has 25 HP
Effectively she committed suicide for absolutely no reason when she simply could have not made the move since the stats are right there.

>>389122140
Super Mario Brothers doesn't even have a fucking tutorial and I was far more competent at it first time.
Fuck off Dean

>>389122236
It's a Youtube comment m8, calm down.

>>389122060
Yes, certainly, I too determine someone's value based on a single video of them talking over a video of someone else's gameplay.

>>389121990
They all have their strong genres, sometimes they cross over and the gameplay isn't the best but you try playing a genre you're not good at while trying to have a meaningful conversation with someone else while trying not to sound like a bumbling retard and tell me how well you do.

I swear gamers with commentaries are like teens with texting. They always think they're some kind of super genius that can do both at the same time until they actually record themselves doing it and see how fucking hard it is.

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>follows instructions
>is "bad"
If anything the instructions are bad.

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>>389117934
>Deans final conclusion: Theres no playable female character. Game need more diversity.

>>389122140

I really wish there was a way to know just how many people died to the first Goomba in SMB.

>>389122328
Giantbomb doesn't have a strong genre, stop trying to desperately defend your journalism e-celebs faggot

>>389116993
If gaming journalists were 'good' at anything, they wouldn't have become gaming journalists.

Tbf I let my sister play a game on the controller and she couldn't do shit. We all then proceeded to laugh at her.
t. Family of 7

>gaming "journalists"
No, you have the emphasis wrong.

It's "Gaming" Journalists.
These people are self-important college students first, looking for a job "in tech" with the barest amount of effort that goes beyond knowing the difference between a Playstation and an Xbox,

Hobbyist Journalism just isn't needed in the days of social media and the internet. People who give a shit about videogames will just make a YouTube channel or write on a Facebook page or something.

>>389122390
>Giantbomb doesn't have a strong genre
Giantbomb is not a person... uhh... its a name of a channel...

>>389122236
Why waste the time to watch the fucking video instead of getting laid in real life?

>>389122335
>first icon indicates "when facing right" according to legend
>three punch icons is distinct from punch + punch + punch, but this person interprets them the same way

The guy in your webm just didn't know how to read what he was looking at.

>>389122451
And every person who works on the channel is fucking shit like nearly all journalist.
>overuse of ellipses
You must be of 18 years or older to post here

>>389122195
She wasn't looking at the stats. She was basing her decisions off the character expressions.

>>389122570
This is why I'll never take people seriously when they say girls are just as good at video games on average

>>389122523
What exactly is three punch icons supposed to mean? All three at the same time? They should really just use different icons for all three if that's the case

>>389122614
Man that guy playing cuphead sure was bad. I guess males are just shit at video games, right?

I've watched the comments on this thread just to see how mean they would be. I think it's useful to show my gameplay experience. I did not intentionally play poorly to "troll" anyone. But it serves as an interesting social experiment. I walk into a game cold, and this is the play that results. The video shows it's a notch more difficult than your typical Mario game. In fact, if you are expecting Mario, as the story says, then you are thrown off. And it shows that the developers are going to leave a lot of people who are worse than me behind. Maybe they're fine with that. Maybe they want to target gamers with a love for difficult games. That's fine. But I think they should signal that. How many games actually come with a tutorial these days? They're not popular. But if it's necessary, that is a signal this is going to require some skill. As for other comments on this thread, I wonder why they are hostile to someone who is viewing the game as a beginner? Are we that intolerant of people who are not "gamers"? Should I have played the scene over and over again until I was good at it, and then turned the recording on, like so many of those perfect video walkthroughs you see? I believe that games can be made accessible and inviting to people who are not hardcore fans, and these people can be accommodated inside the same game that is appealing to hardcore fans, through difficulty levels. So when people tell me that I shouldn't be playing this game because, on my first play, I was pretty lousy -- that's an attitude that argues that games should be shut off in their own little corner, only played publicly by the masters and the experts. I disagree with that view entirely, and I believe it leads to elitist attitudes that allow gamers to look down on other people, and that only leads to a more fragmented world of haters.

Gaming journalists were the ones that thought Mega Man 9 was too hard. There's a podcast called 'Vidjagame Apocalypse' which is hosted by a bunch of former games journalists and they constantly harp on Mega Man 9 for it's difficulty. They also love Mega Man 8.

Fuck games journalists. They're the real cancer ruining the industry.

>>389122721
kill you're self

>>389122716
At least the cuphead guy read what was on the screen and attempted to interpret it, which the fire emblem chick couldn't even take the time to do.

>>389122140
>Asian American
>Bad at video games

Explain

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>>389116993
I had to check a couple of times to make sure the webm didn't loop back to the beginning again.

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>>389116993
>>389117934

>>389119079
to be fair discussing narrative and all the stuff you mention is like 100x easier even if you are a hardcore vidya fan.

>>389117553
>Briefly stated, the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect is as follows. You open the newspaper to an article on some subject you know well. In Murray's case, physics. In mine, show business. You read the article and see the journalist has absolutely no understanding of either the facts or the issues. Often, the article is so wrong it actually presents the story backward—reversing cause and effect. I call these the "wet streets cause rain" stories. Paper's full of them.
In any case, you read with exasperation or amusement the multiple errors in a story, and then turn the page to national or international affairs, and read as if the rest of the newspaper was somehow more accurate about Palestine than the baloney you just read. You turn the page, and forget what you know.
It's true. This was already a well known phenomenon. Journos are scum. GG probably helped Trump get elected and further redpilled gen z.

>>389118514
Not that guy, but a retard like Trump winning is one of the prime examples of society's declining standards for even the most basic jobs. Competency in a field truly isn't needed anymore, just the ability to fool the retard hiring you.

>>389122721
You are a gaming journalist.

Your job is to play video games, and then get paid to fake a review them for extra money and ad revenue.

That fact you are also just, generally terrible at video games shines a big spotlight on everyone who has ever believed Gamergate was a real issue, but were told "ur just a sexist hater, games journalism is real".

That's what you are.

>>389118574
he's forgetting that this man is an adult that should have cognitive thinking skills that should allow him to not be compare to a child

>>389122721
>Are we that intolerant of people who are not "gamers"?

Videogames are the only media that needds some sort of skill.
You dont need skill to read a book, or view a movie but you need it to play games.
So why would i want to hear or read anything from somebody that cant even understand basic shit in a videogame tutorial?

>Should I have played the scene over and over again until I was good at it, and then turned the recording on, like so many of those perfect video walkthroughs you see?

You dashed against the wall 20 TIMES
20 FUCKING TIMES
A braindead monkey would have figured it out.
>Shit i can jump only 2 meter high but the wall is 3 meters high
>Better jump 20 times against the 3 meter high wall JUST TO BE SURE

>>389122721
please verify the trip on twitter or people will just troll you and tell you to kill yourself

>>389122950
You are not a clever man, is what you are.

That's copy pasted from a Youtube comment.

>>389122721
Just a reminder that this text was copy/pasted from the YouTube video.

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>>389122328
Everyone at giantbomb fucking sucks at video games. Jeff is remotely decent at old games and Vinny/Alex can handle turnbased, but that's about it and it makes their quicklooks unbearable.
>90% of Automata quicklook is just Alex shooting at the boss with the pod

>while trying to have a meaningful conversation
A meaningful conversation about what though? Many times, and especially with fucking Brad, they're misinformed when it comes to simple game mechanics.

>>389116993
Another fucking thread? Okay, at this point, you're just fucking asking other people's confirmation so you can smile there smugly in your own little echo chamber. If this shit bothers you so much that you have to make multiple threads about it, then you need some fucking help, my friend.

>>389121621
to be fair, daggers and shuriken debuff enemies regardless of if they actually deal damage


not that this stupid fucking asshole would know that

>>389123157
Which shitty blog you write for? Guessing by how asshurt you seem id say kotaku or polygon

>>389117934
from the person who uploaded:
>Dean: I've watched the comments on this thread just to see how mean they would be. I think it's useful to show my gameplay experience. I did not intentionally play poorly to "troll" anyone. But it serves as an interesting social experiment. I walk into a game cold, and this is the play that results. The video shows it's a notch more difficult than your typical Mario game. In fact, if you are expecting Mario, as the story says, then you are thrown off. And it shows that the developers are going to leave a lot of people who are worse than me behind. Maybe they're fine with that. Maybe they want to target gamers with a love for difficult games. That's fine. But I think they should signal that. How many games actually come with a tutorial these days? They're not popular. But if it's necessary, that is a signal this is going to require some skill. As for other comments on this thread, I wonder why they are hostile to someone who is viewing the game as a beginner? Are we that intolerant of people who are not "gamers"? Should I have played the scene over and over again until I was good at it, and then turned the recording on, like so many of those perfect video walkthroughs you see? I believe that games can be made accessible and inviting to people who are not hardcore fans, and these people can be accommodated inside the same game that is appealing to hardcore fans, through difficulty levels. So when people tell me that I shouldn't be playing this game because, on my first play, I was pretty lousy -- that's an attitude that argues that games should be shut off in their own little corner, only played publicly by the masters and the experts. I disagree with that view entirely, and I believe it leads to elitist attitudes that allow gamers to look down on other people, and that only leads to a more fragmented world of haters.

>>389117934
no fucking way mate

>>389123157
hi, Dean!

Is Cuphead the Dark Souls of classic animation?

>>389123367
It was already posted, numbskull.

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>>389122721
>JOKES ON THEM I WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO BE RETARDED

>>389123416
It is the Watchdogs of run 'n guns, at best.

>>389117618
This single comment makes the most sense in the entire thread, and there are people actually disagreeing? You guys are retarded.
Yes, the journalist "playing" is also a blockhead, but you must be fucking retarded if you actually believe this comment is not 100% correct.

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>this retard has written 3 books relating to vidya
>THREE
>he can't even figure out how to progress in a video game tutorial

>>389123416
I don't know, but the game looks fucking great.

>>389116993
they're journalists, why did they even let this recording get published?

>>389123367
tfw this is a grown ass man who can't beat first level of a game i could easily beat when i was 7

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>>389123151
>Brad
It's a shame that their most eloquent speaker and writer is monotonous and has almost zero idea what he's talking about half of the time. I swear, every single time he talks about a game it's
>It's coming out in February? No, wait maybe Ma- AprilLLLlL??? For Xbox, PS4, and uh....PC? Steam.
I don't expect him to know this shit off the top of his head, but you think he would at least glance at this information before he does a fucking QL.

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>>389123523
>Jap
>Californian

This nigga has literally no excuse to be this bad at video games.

>>389117618
it's literally an IQ test

>>389123510
Why are you pretending to be someone else if you think you're correct? There's nothing at all cryptic about that tutorial. It's baffling that someone else would be confused by it.
For a math tutor, you sound like you can't put 2 and 2 together.

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>>389123367
>I wonder why they are hostile to someone who is viewing the game as a beginner? Are we that intolerant of people who are not "gamers"?

>Dean Takahashi is lead writer for GamesBeat at VentureBeat. He has been a tech journalist for more than 25 years, and he has covered games for 18 years.
And this is an industry where you actually have to be involved in the shit you're talking about. How can you not have the most basic of fucking mechanical ability after 18 years of this shit. You don't even need to play games to understand some basic instructions.

>>389121832
That is what i was thinking.

>>389123667
I'm not the same anon, retard.
Besides, you don't need to be a math tutor to see the logic in the post. Also if there is one thing I learned in this life, is that you can never underestimate enough the capabilities of other people. The only way to ensure that other people will not fuck up tasks you entrust them with (besides doing them yourself) is that you assume they are a 1 IQ dingus. The moment you assume they will figure something out on their own and no explanation needed, they will fuck it up.

>>389123667
thats a really good point

>>389122949
And Nixon or Clinton weren't incompetent retards ? You must be really fucking stupid or young to think one bad president is a symptom of the end of days.

>>389116993
This webm needs a caption added for comedic value.

>>389123627
Californians are bad at video games. It's known that the east coast has the better players. Californians are the Swedes of the US. They think they're better, act like they're better, and when they lose it's everyone's fault but theirs.

>>389123892
>The only way to ensure that other people will not fuck up tasks you entrust them with (besides doing them yourself) is that you assume they are a 1 IQ dingus. The moment you assume they will figure something out on their own and no explanation needed, they will fuck it up.
Modern Game Developer Logic.

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>mfw I go check out his twitter
>it's like a cross between Mario and Dark Souls
>LET'S SEE YOUR FIRST 26 MINUTES AND SEE HOW WELL YOU CAN DO

>>389122669
it means all 3 at the same time

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>>389122721
>The video shows it's a notch more difficult than your typical Mario game. In fact, if you are expecting Mario, as the story says, then you are thrown off.
Where? What part of this was any more difficult than Super Mario Bros.? The very first level, 1-1, of SMB is essentially a tutorial. What happened in this Cuphead gameplay video was the equivalent of not understanding how moving Mario with the d-pad, running by holding B and jumping by pressing A work in tandem, and then running into the first Goomba or jumping down a pit for several minutes straight.

In fact, given what I saw of Cuphead from a couple gameplay videos, the game looks closer in gameplay to Mega Man or Gunstar Heroes than SMB. And I'm not sure if people agree with me, but I consider those two easier than SMB.
>>389123113
I don't give a hoot

>>389122721
RELAX BRO IT WAS A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT

>>389123523
>hot jobs in video games
>"be a journalist! you don't even have to know how to play video games but still get a paycheck!"

>>389123892
>I'm not the same anon, retard.
Of course you are.
>you don't need to be a math tutor to see the logic in the post.
You need to assume the player is going to have reasoning skills to some degree. We're talking about a fellow who has been reviewing games for almost 20 years, not some child with cerebral palsy.
As for the tutorial itself, the inputs are clearly drawn on the screen, there's nothing to interpret.

>>389124029
You know where you belong.

>>389117553
vid very related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57qTegcMT3g

>>389117934
Seriously, even a 5 year old can at least clear the cylinder in less time it took this retard

>>389124097
>Mega Man or Gunstar Heroes than SMB. And I'm not sure if people agree with me, but I consider those two easier than SMB.
Let's not get fucking hipstery stupid fuckdumb here, you were doing well until that point, faggot.

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>>389117618
So if we took away the tutorial, would he have been able to do it faster?

Most people (in any field) get hired for their likeability. Not for their performance.

>>389124029
Not if we're talking Melee. Sweds and Californians are pretty much the top players.

>>389123927
That's a petty, childish way to have an argument, stop pretending to be other people and false-flagging to further your lack of logic. Math tutor my ass.

>>389124208
lol shut the fuck up you nazi
are you some kind of fucking holocaust denier and some kind of 9/11 truther too? fuck off with your conspiracies
these people get paid to report the truth fuck off

>>389120358
have they made an online shooter that punishes players for running around in circles and jumping like a retard yet?

>>389117553
they dont even read the source material. I dont care what side you are on with the google memo. It triggers me how many people writing about it never bothered to fucking read it. Same as never bothering to watch Pewdiepie videos for those hitpieces, they just took a slant from a secondary source and bullshitted from there like they were writing a college paper 3 hours before its due coming down from a bender

>>389124395
Is that why I never get callbacks for jobs?

>>389120637
the rest of video is 30 minutes of him trying to beat a first platforming stage

>>389124395
it's not something as vague as likeability, it's more how much the interviewer thinks you fit in the company's culture.
Competency and ability to learn is a big factor tho, unless you work in a field where entry level is unqualified work (which is pretty much what video game "journalism" is)

>>389124315
No, seriously. Super Mario Bros' later levels require some pretty precise jumping, and if you run out of lives you need to start from 1-1 again. Mega Man has the courtesy of not resetting all your progress, and is all about jump-and-shoot rather than judge-momentum-and-jump. Gunstar Heroes pits you against lots of enemies, but they're not much of a threat against your weaponry barring the boss fights.

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>>389124208
>>389124457
At least change up the way you type or something when you respond to yourself. Holy fuck.

>>389124340
The rest of the video is him trying to beat the first level, which he never does. I just let autoplay into the next random video, and the next guy beat it in like a minute 20.

>>389124474
If you get invited you already qualify.
The interview is just a test if they like you more than someone else.

>>389116993
This is one of the funniest webms ever posted on this site.

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>>389119340
Holy shit nigga. wtf has this got to do with anything?

I would rather read the unprofessional but endearing rants and raves of true gaming enthusiasts who wrote for gaming mags 25 years ago over the smug, terrible-at-games journalists who value their shitty college degrees in writing over their high scores who pollute the games jounalism landscape today.

>>389124534
>Mega Man has the courtesy of not resetting all your progress, and is all about jump-and-shoot rather than judge-momentum-and-jump.
No, mega man is about both, which would be evident if you bothered to play the game. Making the statement that the first megaman is easier than super mario bros. is nonsensical.

>>389119576
> far-left website
pottery

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because they spent too much time attending Slut Walks and Occupy Wall Street rallies instead of playing video games.

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>all of these random replies blatantly trying to incite off-topic political shit-flinging
I guess gaming journalism really was a mistake after all.

>>389124628
25 years ago gaming rags where thinly veiled advertisement, exactly the same as now
you were just too young to catch on to it (or more likely not born yet if you actually think that)

>>389122949
Mmmm salty.

>>389124534
>super mario bros levels require precise jumping
>megaman doesn't

what the fuck are you on
gutsman stage is harder than 99% of mario stages

>>389117624
Nah, my fucking 3 year old niece is better at this shit

>>389124691
Are you defending criminals?

>>389121620
>>389121715
>>389121803
I can't aim for shit in shooters and I think it's because I might be going blind but it's weird. You could toss a knife at me and I'd catch it no problem but putting a reticle over a target on the screen eludes me.

>>389124717
And 25 years ago we bought gaming mags to look at screen grabs of new games, or get cheat codes and pro strats, not to read opinion pieces or take reviews seriously.

>>389122721
> I believe that games can be made accessible and inviting to people who are not hardcore fans, and these people can be accommodated inside the same game that is appealing to hardcore fans, through difficulty levels. So when people tell me that I shouldn't be playing this game because, on my first play, I was pretty lousy -- that's an attitude that argues that games should be shut off in their own little corner
Yes, normies should fuck off to their candy crush mobile shit.

>>389123157
Shut up faggot

>>389124717
Depends on the magazine. Nintendo Power? Yep. GameFan? Nope.

>>389124717

And yet thats still a thousand times better than the slop you find on gaming websites today. Pathetic.

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>>389124691
Whoever made this image is a fucking idiot if those bottom two images are all they could come up with.
>man with monopoly money and a fake cartoon money bag
>Bruce Willis wearing photoshopped sign from the set of a movie
>neither of which were mugged or assaulted
What the fuck are you trying to say?

>>389124789
Your 3 year old niece is a girl, not a woman. Once puberty hits it's all downhill.

>>389116993
>>389117934
I'm in pain

>>389124975
it really wasnt, they were usually uninformed opinions and fanboys raving when they weren't paid for a score.
and their level of literacy was much lower.
say what you want about today's gaming journalism but at least they have a larger vocabulary now

>>389124996
>>>Bruce Willis wearing photoshopped sign from the set of a movie
Ever watched Die Hard 3?

>>389124646
>judge momentum

Mega Man has one movement speed and comes to a complete stop if you stop holding left/right mid-jump. There is no momentum.

>>389122721

18 years experience. We react this way because we expect the people with these jobs we all wish we could have would at least be competent at playing a fucking game.

>>389125078
A paid advertisement is better than the scribblings of a fag who hates video games complaining about a video game being terrible because its "too hard".

MORE LIKE DEAN KEKAHASHI

AMIRITE GUYS?

>>389119541
To be fair, someone who's only played metal slug would have a similar outlook, since simply touching an enemy doesn't kill you

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>>389116993

>>389117553
the same way you determine if someone is lying or misrepresenting information. You look at other sources and the more common narrative is the one that reaches as close to the "truth" as it was viewed.

For instance if you knew nothing of games, saw this and then went and watched other play the game and see that they didn't have the same problems with it you'd determine that the first source was just bad.

>>389125078
>at least they have a larger vocabulary now

Yeah, because thats what Im looking for when I'm seaching for game recommendations. A 23-year old kid with a thesaurus. Get the fuck out of here.

>>389125198
better in what regard ? They're equally worthless to me. At the very least the women's studies graduate writing for videogames nowadays can write like adults, even if the subject matter is pure drivel.

>>389121670
>t. agnostic centrist

>>389125302
so you'd rather have a 23 old kid without the thesaurus ? because that's pretty much the only quantifiable difference

>>389122019
Both are great games though.

>>389116993
fucking able-ist games, why isn't this a walking simulator?

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>>389122721
>IT WAS JUST A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT
>LOOK, THERE'S THE CAMERA
Man come on, shouldn't you be using the time you're given to do your job to actually fucking do your job

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>>389119801

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>>389123942
>Put it on the lid

>>389121914
>Giantbomb
>Not garbage at games

Are we watching the same XCOM Let's Play?

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>>389116993
cant belive this is real
HAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA
FUCK.

>>389124457
Don't you think it's weird that all of the death camps were behind the iron curtain?

>>389120761
>being this much of a good goy

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>guy who write about business side of video games need to have pro-level skill.

>>389122721
>I got this job through my friends and am only here for an easy pay check

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>>389125767
>people who critique, review, play, and record gameplay of video games do not need to be good at video games or understand basic concepts of them
Also nice English, third worlder

>>389125767
>General competence is now considered pro-level skill.

How far we've fallen.

>>389125767
>Pro-level skill
What combining two buttons to clear an obstacle with instructions right in front of you?

Only way this could be excused is if the guy couldn't read english, it's disgustingly pathetic.

>>389125390

Disageed. 25 years ago, game mags were manned by people who loved and were good at playing games. You never read any of this "waaaaaah, this game for babies is too haaarrrrrrrd" bull shit. The writing may have been abhorrent, but at least I could trust that the games they enjoyed were games I would enjoy
Instead, we now have mediocre story-focused games get high praise just because they're 'socially progressive'. God forbid the gameplay be any good or the game test your skills at all, but hey, we got gay people! Hooray! Pat yourselves on the backs, dykes.

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Although I cannot believe how terrible he's doing,
i also can't believe the button mapping for something that seems like you'll be doing ALOT

Now i understand why a lot of you faggots push those boring as fuck story games and the journos give them all the awards.

The way things are going there will be games with 0 game play and interactivity soon.

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>>389122721
Forget the first level, it took this retard a whole minute to realize how to jump up a ledge. Basic fucking problem solving skills, how the hell does he even function in real life without just horribly fucking everything up

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>>389117934
I made it to five minutes.

>>389125390
I'd rather read the raw impressions of a 7-year old kid than your garbage blog.

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>>389116993
Game "journalism" sites writers are filled with people who didn't play video games grew in up and didn't have it as their hobby at all. They went to journalism school, got extremely liberal in college and hoped to get an internship in Washington/Huffington post where they can write about DRUMPF all day.

When they didn't manage to get that internship and got an offer for "video games" they think "yeah sure I can do that, who dosent like games"? and continues to focus on politics rather than just fucking games. Why every site hired all these retards? Gawker owning literally everything that had a huge liberal agenda in hiring process.

The way he's playing is the same reason I can't watching Lets Play people or streamers.

>blatantly see a big red button/lever/or a ledge
>walk around a small area saying not sure what to do for 5min
>finally figure what to do or where to go
>get stuck again few minutes later

Shit is fucking infuriating

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>>389122721

Polygon article:
https://pastebin.com/T6NjTTAb

When will these people just fucking die?

>ctrl+f "Gell-Mann Amnesia"

>>389122946

Good looking out, bruv

>>389122140
yes kys faggot

>>389126451

Predictable.

I saw games journalists complain about Sonic Mania's difficulty. Sonic-fucking-Mania. There are Kirby games more challenging than that shit.

>>389125917
>arrows
>buttons to push in direction of arrows
You don't even need to read.

>>389124691
The one on the right is a tranny.

His whole reply from that youtube thread or whatever is actually more fucking disgusting than the video even.

>the developers are going to leave a lot of people who are worse than me behind.
I don't think anyone is worse than that. It's honestly mind blowing. He even attacks the dev for not being upfront about how "difficult" the game is.
As though a tutorial that basically just shows you the buttons is a sign the game is going to be a real challenge. Holy fuck.

He actually believes that hot garbage he's writing.

>>389117553
/pol/ is always right

>>389116993
This isn't even a matter of being experienced with video games. Whoever played this lacks basic problem solving skills that should be simple for any human. There are animals that would be capable of solving more complex problems in less time. I'm not even convinced that whoever is playing this is actually human.

>>389126316
Lets players are hacks who play bad on purpose to extend play time and make more youtube bucks (more episodes = more money)

>>389122721
People replied to this and are currently still replying to this because someone filled out a name field

Please tell me this guy just doesn't understand English, he's not really working in the video game industry? right guys? haha you got me!