Gottfried Ruins Gaming

Say
We're watching you, scum

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>>388892178

>Why contain it? Let it spill over into the schools and churches, let the bodies pile up in the streets. In the end, they'll beg us to save them.

You guys can't do shit. I jerk off to her once a day everyday.

>>388892178
"Woah! Looking Cool Joker!"

>>388892178
Energy. Power. My people are addicted to it. Their dependence made manifest after the Sunwell was destroyed. Welcome to the future...a pity you're too late to stop it. No one can stop me now. Selama ashal'anore.

hi kotlguy

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>>388892178
Mage! You should be more careful when you play with magic!

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Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every night, I can feel my leg… and my arm… even my fingers. The body I’ve lost… the comrades I’ve lost… won’t stop hurting… It’s like they’re all still there. You feel it, too, don’t you?

Less talking, more raiding!

"Die, monster. You don't belong in this world!"

"It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by humans who wished to pay me tribute."

"Tribute!?! You steal men's souls and make them your slaves!"

"Perhaps the same could be said of all religions..."

"Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!"

"What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk... Have at you!"

>>388892919
He's already done this one.

>>388893339
Any archive to previous gottfriedications? I didn't even know this was a thing.

I got a letter.
The name on the envelope said 'Mary.'
My wife's name...
It's ridiculous, couldn't possibly be true...
That's what I keep telling myself...
A dead person can't write a letter.
Mary died of that damn disease three years ago.
So then why am I looking for her'
Our 'special place'...
What could she mean'
This whole town was our special place.
Does she mean the park on the lake'
We spent the whole day there.
Just the two of us, staring at the water.
Could Mary really be there'
Is she really alive... waiting for me'

>>388892178
Evil is Evil; lesser, greater, middling, it makes no difference. The degree is arbitrary, definitions blurred. If I'm to choose between one evil or another, I'd rather not choose at all

>>388893419
For the love of Christ, this one.

>>388893403
Not that I know of, but I found the link:
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0eGUv5LRNUv

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Recorded most of these directly to vocaroo to save time, resulting in a recording quality hit. Hope you don't mind, Anons.

>>388892305
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0e1ncB0gWSf

>>388892316
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0E0Qqu7H0mR

>>388892345
https://vocaroo.com/i/s10d3csc91xz

>>388892512
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0vmvDZosJuH

>>388892612
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0P2iAVTXSvx

>>388892869
?

>>388893201
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1HJ7u4Z4EeL

>>388893403
See >>387356409

Make the noise Aku Aku says when you pick him up and lose him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkBhzLHU_4w

>>388892178
Do a rendition of this scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqmeQ0Ya4G8

I've covered wars you know.

In three hundred feet make a left.

>>388892178
hehe le loud Jew I <3 him

>>388893838
Thank you my dude

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Filthy Rats! Sickness must be purged!

>>388892178

War has changed.

It's no longer about nations, ideologies, or ethnicity. It's an endless series of proxy battles, fought by mercenaries and machines.

War--and it's consumption of life--has become a well-oiled machine.

War has changed.

ID-tagged soldiers carry ID-tagged weapons, use ID-tagged gear. Nanomachines inside their bodies enhance and regulate their abilities.

Genetic control, information control, emotion control, battlefield control…everything is monitored and kept under control.

War…has changed.

The age of deterrence has become the age of control, all in the name of averting catastrophe from weapons of mass destruction, and he who controls the battlefield, controls history.

War…has changed.

When the battlefield is under total control, war becomes routine.

>>388893880
>That ending
What the fuck? Can you just explode buildings in this game?

>>388892178
"WOAH"

"I'm sorry but your princess is in another castle"

"All your base are belong to us"

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Making the mother of all omeletts here, Jack - can't fret over every egg!

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>>388892178
Little prince...the sad truth is that justice is an illusion. A child's fairy tale. There is no light path that always leads to good, nor dark path that leads to evil. To believe that—to see the world in black and white—is missing half the picture. All that matters are the choices we make—especially the hard ones.

Its just like one of my japanese animes!

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>>388894126
Yeah

>>388893838
This is great. Thanks man.

Byrgenwerth...Byrgenwerth...Blasphemous murderers...Blood-crazed fiends...Atonement for the wretches...By the wrath of Mother Kos...Mercy for the poor, wizened child...Mercy, of please...

>>388894314
That was literally the best line in Fates.

LIIIIIQQQQQUUUIIIIIIIDDDDDD!!!!

>>388892178
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LISmPmdUhYA the infamous "What am I fighting...FOOOOOOOOORRR" thanks gilbert, you were great as KRANG SUB PRIME.

VIDEO GAMES

"It takes a strong man to deny what's right in front of him. And if the truth is undeniable, you create your own. The truth, Walker, is that you're here because you wanted to feel like something you're not: A hero. I'm here because you can't accept what you've done. It broke you. You needed someone to blame, so you cast it on me: a dead man."

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NANOMACHINES, SON

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>I have a dream. That one day every person in this nation will control their own destiny. A nation of the truly free, dammit. A nation of action, not words, ruled by strength, not committee! Where the law changes to suit the individual, not the other way around. Where power and justice are back where they belong: in the hands of the people! Where every man is free to think - to act - for himself! Fuck all these limp-dick lawyers and chickenshit bureaucrats. Fuck this 24-hour Internet spew of trivia and celebrity bullshit! Fuck American pride! Fuck the media! FUCK ALL OF IT!

>America is diseased. Rotten to the core. There's no saving it - we need to pull it out by the roots. Wipe the slate clean. BURN IT DOWN! And from the ashes, a new America will be born. Evolved, but untamed! The weak will be purged and the strongest will thrive - free to live as they see fit, they'll make America great again!

if you don't wanna do the whole thing just do the second paragraph, great work tho mane

Why are we still here? Justto suffer?Every night, I can feel my leg... and my arm... even my fingers. The body I've lost... the comrades I've lost... won't stop hurting... It's like they're all stillthere.You feel it, too, don't you? I'm gonnamake themgive back our past.

We pull in money, recruits, just to combat Cipher. Rubbing our noses in bloody battlefield dirt.All for revenge.

>>388894997
2 minutes in for reference https://youtu.be/XjdDyvGE8gE?t=120

>>388892178

Can you do the entire navy seal copypasta?

Hey schlomo, I just got fucking raped by the enemy team. And where were you? Jerking off your schtick with your carpal tunnel paws while looking at child pornography on your second monitor. You know how I know this, because I'm right outside your window. Badabing, badaboom, take this rabbies infected pitbull in the room. *laugh*

Hes pretty good. Needs to be a little more obnoxious like gottfried as iago from aladdin.

>>388893838
do you have any contact info?

love some VA for my game (not gottfried related)

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>>388893838
>https://vocaroo.com/i/s1HJ7u4Z4EeL

Is the single best piece of OC I've seen on this board in years. Thank you Anon, I belly laughed.

I was born in a small village. I was still a child when we were raided by soldiers.Foreign soldiers. Torn from my elders, I was made to speaktheirlanguage. With each new post my masters changed. Along with the words they made me speak. With each change,Ichanged too. My thoughts, personality, how I saw right and wrong. Words. can. kill.

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"No, Comrade Premier. It has only begun."

This isn't vidya related, but can you do a few lines from my favorite show of all time?

>MAN: You know, you asked me the other day what Irena's cousin had that you don't have. And I thought about it, 'cause it's a pretty good fucking question. And yeah, she's sexy enough even with the one pin gone but that's not it. I can converse with her, 'cause she had something to say!

>WOMAN: I am -here-! -I- have things to say!

>MAN: Besides 'bring the fucking chairs down' and 'did you sign the living trust?'! She's a grown fucking woman who's been kicked around, and she's been on her own, and she's had to fight, and struggle!

>WOMAN: Unlike me, is that it? Who the fuck wanted it like this?! Who the fuck pissed and moaned at just the -idea- of me with a fucking real estate license?!

>MAN: Free to sit back for twenty fucking years, and fiddle with the air conditioning, and fucking bitch and complain, and fucking bitch, bitch, bitch, to me, to your priest! Fuck it!

Tall order, I know. If it's too much of a hassle, don't sweat it. Your last thread was fucking great.

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"You may call me...Infinite, in the brief moments that remain to you."

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Summon the elector counts.


The nation calls.

"Feel the Power of my Magic"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF-MDuXXiSI

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Christ there's so much Metal Gear here.
I might record a few more here and there, but I'm wrapping things up for the night. Thank you for playing, anons.

>>388893419
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1926uEXvMpF

Also, here's a bonus cold reading of this not as Gilbert.
https://vocaroo.com/i/s13E4g7MpHWV

>>388894047
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1BrXiB3DvFh

>>388893893
https://vocaroo.com/i/s06G2zHebCEK

>>388893929
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1oDi54qLEqo

>>388894037
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0Jzi44LEaeB

>>388894170
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1vLxpT30XkT

>>388894224
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0FvwymPOgyw

>>388895007
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0Ffvn0cAT20

>>388894813
This one deserves special treatment...

>>388894997
I played Spec Ops, I know the source.
https://vocaroo.com/i/s05g2gQUmD7j

>>388895247
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0hyZEL6ZRbQ

>>388895247
Yeah, drop an email address or discord tag and I'll reach out to you.

>>388895413
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1xJuxsTjuKr

Also a non-fried recording of this same speech.
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0GFvVC7jBYv

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Do this one OP.

>>388895952

Not him, but if like to add you on Discord if you don't mind. The name is "Empress Gretchen."

>>388895952
Faker? I think you're the fake around here. You're comparing yourself to me? Ha! You're not even good enough to be my fake.

Come! Sit! Share my fire!

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>>388895952
10/10 BASED GOTTFRIEDANON

>>388895952
i wish i could have you voice over my gps. i really do.

>>388895952

It seems your hearts have led you to obliteration. Perhaps it doesn't pay to be too loyal to ones heart, I will have to be sure and remember that.

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I hope you've all been enjoying the ride.

>>388896083
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1zdoin4WNxx

>>388896238
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0PNvOyBKMv6

>>388896104
Anon you need the #XXXX that goes with your handle, as far as I know.

>>388896382
Thank you anon, that means a lot to me.

>>388895952
You're the best anon

>>388895952
Thanks for the thread, Gottfried-kun

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tfw always too late to fun threads get any part of it

>>388892178
Say
>Oni-Chan! My hips are moving on their own!

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>this thread

You got a nice thing anon. Good job

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>>388897019
THIS

>>388896745
Shit, that's right. Sorry

#5679

Sorry, I'm an idiot right now.

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>>388897282
Sorry for what?

>>388896483
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1uaO4HX8DbN

>>388897019
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1OoiUy4O2Q8

>>388896921
Don't give up, anon. I'm right here.

>>388897030
Thank you. I'm glad people are having fun.

>>388896745
Sing me a vista related song. Dosent need to be a complete ding, at least just the chorus.

Any suggestions?

>>388897349
Did your daddy tell you not be ashamed of your dick? Especally since its good sized and all?

>>388897364
>vista

Did you mean "vidya?"

>>388892178
Say
Tunnel Snakes rule!

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Kain: Thirty years hence, I am presented with a dilemma... let's call it a two-sided coin. If the coin falls one way, I sacrifice myself and thus restore the Pillars... but as the last surviving vampire in Nosgoth, this would mean the annihilation of our species... Moebius made sure of that. If the coin lands on the reverse, I refuse the sacrifice and thus doom the Pillars to an eternity of collapse. Either way, the game is rigged.
Raziel: We agree then that the Pillars are crucial and must be restored.
Kain: Yes, Raziel, that is why we've come full-circle to this place.
Raziel: So after all this, you make my case for me. To end this stalemate, you must die so that new Guardians can be born.
Kain: The Pillars don't belong to them, Raziel... they belong to us.
Raziel: Your arrogance is boundless, Kain.
Kain: There's a third option, a monumental secret hidden in your very presence here. But it's a secret you have to discover for yourself. Unearth your destiny, Raziel. It's all laid out for you here.
Raziel: You said it yourself, Kain... there are only two sides to your coin.
Kain: Apparently so, but suppose you throw a coin enough times... suppose one day, it lands on its edge.

>>388892178
Say "The subject did not survive interrogation."
Thanks Gilbert, loved you in Cyberchase.

The G-man's opening speech
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTMPvcse_9E
If you did this I'd die happy

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>>388897349
im fucking dead 10/10

Gordon Freeman, in the flesh - or, rather, in the hazard suit. I took the liberty of relieving you of your weapons. Most of them were government property. As for the suit, I think you've earned it. The borderworld, Xen, is in our control, for the time being... thanks to you. Quite a nasty piece of work you managed over there; I am impressed. That's why I'm here, Mr. Freeman. I have recommended your services to my... employers, and they have authorized me to offer you a job. They agree with me that you have limitless potential. You've proved yourself a decisive man so I don't expect you'll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you're interested, just step into the portal and I will take that as a yes. Otherwise, well, I can offer you a battle you have no chance of winning... rather an anticlimax after what you've just survived. Time to choose...

>>388897614
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1xkCmT5sPe8

>>388897728
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1qnYXdbEKXO

>>388897448
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0aLD9b4jM0T

>>388897897
Provide me a raw version of this clip that has all of the sounds except for G-Man's voice.

>>388892178
You must construct additional Pylons.

I FEEL THE WARP OVERTAKING ME, IT IS A GOOD PAIN

Stop! You violated the law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit!

>>388898026
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeXn5RFkf4I
like this? first 40 secs

>>388898323
No, like the exact opposite of that.

>>388898402
just ambient sfx?

>>388898191
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1xlf9Oq5GiS

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>>388898537
Based. Thanks Gottfriedanon.

>>388892178
please say "AAAHH NUUU, CHEEKI BREEKI. IV DANKE!"

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>>388897349
>that "Oni-Chan!"

>>388898637
damke not danke

"COME, GUARDIAN"

"SUBMIT!"

>>388898163
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0MqBLQlRxKE

>>388898637
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1Vgt6Y3Etjc

>>388898630
My pleasure.

>>388898518
Yes. I want this scene and all of the sounds without his voice.

>>388898026
Now I need a whole mod with Gottfried as Kushan Fleet Intelligence.

>>388897993
This.

>>388895952

>This one deserves special treatment...


I await with baited breath!

>>388898771
top stuff

>>388898026
Hmm? Do you sometimes pull on it so hard that you rip the skin?

Crashing this plane... WITH NO SURVIVORS!

>>388896228
Do this one.

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>>388895952
>the cold reading voice

"I hope she made lots of SPAGHETTI"

"My people... Sons and Daughters of Helghan. This much I vow: The history of these days will be written in blood. By crushing the armies of our enemy, by seizing the weapons they thought to turn against us, we were fighting for our very existence. But if there are those who would deny us peace; refuse us our rightful place in the universe, then we will unleash such terrible vengeance that generations yet unborn will cry out in anguish![...]The enemy may shatter our bodies, but they cannot break our spirit. Even now they advance on our home world, to seize by force what they cannot claim by right. They cannot imagine what awaits them. WE WILL SMITE THE INVADERS FROM OUR SKIES! Though they sweep over our lands like the sands of winter, never again will we bow before them; never again endure their oppression; never again endure their tyranny. We will strike without warning and without mercy, fighting as one hand, one heart, one soul. We will shatter their dreams and haunt their nightmares, drenching our ancestors' graves with their blood. And as our last breath tears at their lungs; as we rise again from the ruins of our cities... they will know: Helghan belongs to the Helghast."

>>388892178
how about "someone set up us the bomb"

"i SHOULD OF BEEN THE ONE TO FILL YOUR DARK SOUL WITH LIGGGHT"
pls

>>388892178
Anyone has liquid's speech about les infants terribles?

Hello there! Welcome to the world of Pokémon! My name is Oak! People call me the Pokémon Prof! This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokémon! For some people, Pokémon are pets. Other use them for fights. Myself… I study Pokémon as a profession.

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If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!' Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a 'zoo'!

10/10 thread

Don't worry Celica, I'll crush these bastards!

>>388898771

"But hey! That's just a theory! A GAME THEORY! Thanks for watching!"

THE BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED!

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Are you smoking?
Didn't you know that cigarettes contain benzopyrene, a chemical that leads to lung cancer? We now know that when benzopyrene enters the body, it changes to benzopyrene diolepoxide and attaches to the receptors on the P53 gene, the gene which causes lung cancer. The BPDE attaches to the P53 gene in three specific locations and causes pre-cancerous changes to the lung tissue.

I AM VERY DISGUSTED WITH THE TRASHY MAN. IN SPITE OF THE MONSTER, AND THE COACH, ONLY TRASHY, I WILL BEAT DOWN THEM ALL. FOR THIS I MUST STRENGTHEN MYSELF. THE MONSTER IS THE SAME TOO. COLLECT ALL THE TRASHY, RIGHTEOUS FELLOW ALL ARE UNPARDONABLE! YOU DON'T AFFECT ME. THE TRASHY STROLLING IS AN EYESORE!

Hand it over. That thing. Your dark soul.

I know... I gotta believe!

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"Will you not rise in my presence?"
and
"Let the world end now, it matters not to me."

>>388898927
It won't be tonight, but I have plans for this clip indeed.

>>388899031
Happy to do more readings like that any time.

>>388899378
No, but have some not-fried Liquid anyway.

>>388899746
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0TrS5PrlU75

>>388899786
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0AJb9MH1eia

That's it, Snake. Hurt me more. Make me feel alive again.

>>388899904
Fack, I remember hearing that liquid speech a long time ago and never saved it.

Hello there! Welcome to the world of POKEMON! My name is OAK! People call me the POKEMON PROFFESOR

This world is inhabited by creatures called POKEMON! For some people, POKEMON are pets. Others use them for fights. Myself... I study POKEMON as a profession.

NOW... are you a boy or a girl?!

>>388899378
Forgot the link RIP
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0Suhbq9a0Pw
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1TI4gyjXmiY

>>388900037
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1kVaAy6dZqM

>>388900105
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1imb5LMNj7V

And in Oak voice...
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0Gy5DdjMVgN

"FEEBLE CURSED ONE" -Straid, Dark Souls 2

>>388900494
https://youtu.be/g_6CSRG9ulU
I know who I am, what I am. You look in the mirror wanting to see the man you should be, hoping that if you take a glimpse of him, it'll help you turn things around. But wishing on something doesn't make it so. No matter how hard you try, it's always the same worthless piece of shit gazing back at you.

fuck gilbert gottrued

"Unlike Sonic, I don't chuckle. I'd rather flex my muscles."

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>>388892178
do your parents get mad at you for sitting in your room and yelling in a gilbert gottfried voice every night?

>>388900494
Hey youre really good. Be proud of yourself anon and thanks for the Oak reading

Headed off, anons. Thanks for the good times. Until we meet again!

>>388900978
Thanks anon

>>388900953
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1KkK20gpdqq

You walk in on a murder, and the first thing you do is shoot the clown?

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>>388901182
Thank you OP. Godspeed.

>>388900494
Sometimes when you shout... are you nappa?

“HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.”

>>388901182
Thanks OP, you're a lovely person.

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>>388893419
>>388895952
You're the best, anon.

>>388900957
kek

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Nikoladze just declared war on the U.S. The Georgians hit our communications, transportation, power grids, we still don't know how extensive the damage is. Your mission just became critical. You know what you need to do.

File: 200px-PatrickWarburtonJan07.jpg (8KB, 200x201px) Image search: [Google]

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Not to detract from OP's talent, but I do a pretty good Patrick Warburton impression. Lay 'em on me.

>>388902180
Try
>>388901314

>>388902180

>>388900827

>>388902251
>>388901314
I may or may not be out of practice.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s17qdf9qxNAi

File: Dr.bender_1.jpg (27KB, 635x480px) Image search: [Google]

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Tfw Gottfried voiced the crazy dentist in Fairly Odd Parents

>>388892178
Gilbert Gottfried here, you've reached the voice mail box of John, please leave your name and number and he'll probably get back to you.

>>388902406
>>388900827
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0W3bSu9V1C4

>>388903171
This is such a good idea I'll bump this anons post.

>>388903313
Too bad he's already done. Thanks though anon

>>388903171
Also want to change the intro: Hi! The one and only bird lover Gilbert Gottfriend here,

>>388903186
Not bad anon

>>388900494
really good. Thanks bud

"In my restless dreams,
I see that town.
Silent Hill.
You promised me you'd take me
there again someday.
But you never did.
Well, I'm alone there now...
In our 'special place'...
Waiting for you...
Waiting for you to
come to see me.
But you never do.
And so I wait, wrapped in my
cocoon of pain and loneliness.
I know I've done a terrible
thing to you. Something you'll
never forgive me for.
I wish I could change
that, but I can't.
I feel so pathetic and ugly
laying here, waiting for you...
Every day I stare up at the cracks
in the ceiling and all I can think
about is how unfair it all is...
The doctor came today.
He told me I could go
home for a short stay.
It’s not that I'm getting better.
It’s just that this may be
my last chance...
I think you know what I mean...
Even so, I'm glad to be coming
home. I've missed you terribly.
But I'm afraid, James.
I'm afraid you don't really
want me to come home.
Whenever you come see me,
I can tell how hard it is on you...
I don't know if you
hate me or pity me...
Or maybe I just disgust you...
I'm sorry about that.
When I first learned that
I was going to die, I just
didn't want to accept it.
I was so angry all the time and I
struck out at everyone I loved most.
Especially you, James.
That's why I understand
if you do hate me.
But I want you to
know this, James.
I'll always love you.
Even though our life together had
to end like this, I still wouldn't
trade it for the world. We had
some wonderful years together.
Well, this letter has gone on
too long, so I'll say goodbye.
I told the nurse to give
this to you after I'm gone.
That means that as you read
this, I'm already dead.
I can't tell you to remember me,
but I can't bear for you to
forget me.
These last few years since I
became ill... I'm so sorry for
what I did to you, did to us...
You've given me so much and
I haven't been able to return
a single thing.
That's why I want you to live
for yourself now.
Do what's best for you, James.
James...
You made me happy.

"Show me what you've got Snake!"

"Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe, *sniff*, maybe. I have yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet."