Randall Pitchford wants Gearbox to make Half Life 3

MEMES
HEY GUYS THERE'S THIS SUBREDDIT FULL OF HALF LIFE 3 PORN, DON'T CLICK IT THOUGH!
MORE MEMES

>Game only available to purchase as a bundle with Battleborn

>>388722613
Right at the beginning another advisor comes in and kills Gordon, but not before Gordon makes a "totally ironic and hilarious" quip about his fate and how he can suddenly talk. Then Alyx takes over as the player character but not before letting out that's she's a lesbian.

Who the fuck wanted HL3 anyway? Most of the people I know have never played the other games and only know it because of this HL3 meme

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Imagine being Randy in this industry and having to be all like "damn, Battleborn, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your wacky proportions and horrific monster faces. I would totally draw porn of you, both female characters and male." when all he really wants to do is sing another incendiary song in a game con. Like seriously imagine having to be Randy and not only sit in your ample office chair while Battleborn spouts its horrific dialog in front of you, the bigots barely going through all its many issues and shady business model, and just sit there, tweet after tweet, hour after hour, while it's patched to perfection. Not only having to tolerate its monstrous HUD but its faux-badass attitude as everyone on Gearbox tells it's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, BATTLEBORN PLAYS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch fucking gremlin faced characters contort into types of game modes you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been producing nothing but a healthy menu of FPS expansion packs and ports and later alleged Duke Nukem and Alien games for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the liberal boonies in UCLA. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on the desperation as it becomes F2P suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to not pay a dime to sit there and revel in its "hobby-grade (for that is what you call it)" co-op campaign, the campaign worked on so hard by the entire studio in the previous years. And then Burch pitches in another meme attempt, and you know you could kill every single person in the studio before building security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Randy. You're not going to lose your future online feuds over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

>makes it multiplayer only
>freeman says "I'M A FUCKING BADASS!!!" after every kill
>freeman is voiced by briana wu
>dlc that unlocks a female version of freeman costs 20 bucks it expires after 2 days
>every time before the game closes it say "FUCK YOU, NIGGER!"

BADASS

>>388723215
Nailed it.

>>388722613
Remember when Randy said he was best friends with Gaben?

>>388723118
oh, and to obtain a crowbar (in the game it would be called ICONIC CROWBAR) you need to give a donation to your local LGBT ngo and to provide the proof.

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>>388722982

8/10 copypasta there anon, holy shit.

>>388723382
remember when he said he fought gaben on a Louisiana river cruise in high stakes poker and WON the name gearbox and valve had to settle on 'valve' and swore it was real.

then had to pull a madthad

>>388723215
It would be unironically like this.

>>388723507
Did he?

>>388723548
he pulled a madthad, so no, he didnt.

>>388723621
No I mean did he actually say it?

>>388723705
yup
https://www.engadget.com/2009/08/17/whats-in-a-name-gearbox-software/

>limited edition includes a chastity cage for penis and 6 month free subscription to plentyofbulls.com

>>388723745
What the fuck

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ALEXYSI : HEY GORDON FREECISGENDEREDPRNOUNS - FEMINISM IS EFFIN BADASS
GORDONG: YEAH I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU I'VE BEEN A FEMINIST ALL MY LIFE
ALEXYSI: YOU CAN TALK?!?
GORDONG: I DID I JUST NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT THE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE LIKE FEMINISM AND HOW EFFING BADASS IT IS
ALEXSI: I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU THERE GORDON*LINA

>>388723746
unironically would buy that's a phenomenal deal

>>388724426
This. Cages can in the hundreds.

Would be a good fit. Gearbox are the only ones who still make somewhat popular single player games and seamless coop would give this stale old series a breath of freshness. Alyx is obviously bi og lesbian too.

>>388724860
How do you know this

>>388725237
Take a wild fucking guess

>>388725508
He's majoring in sexology?

>>388722613
Don't buy Borderlands 3
If it flops, Gearbox will go bankrupt and they will never get the chance to make HL3.

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>>388722613
>"P-please trust us to make g-games to we can make m-money..."

After the whole Sega and Marines thing, and Battleborn, nobody is gonna look at Gearbox.

>>388725558
>majoring in sexology
>not majoring in sexiatry
Pleb

>>388726071
Sexiatry doesn't exist. This is a serious board for serious people, this isn't the place for your childish jokes.

>>388726039
>How dare you speak to me