All of /v/ is placed inside Super Mario 64. What happens?

Whats the least amount of times you could jump to beat the game?

inb4 qpu alignment jokes and half a presses

RULES:
>You are you with just the clothes on your back
>The Mario world is in "real world" levels of detail, but Mario physics still applies to everything but us. For example fish have bones, goombas have wearable hides, you CAN break branches off trees. Enemies leave behind remains, you can dig in the ground, and so on. While the world is in "real" levels of detail, there is still floating shit and magic and stuff like that.
>Goombas bite, but are squishy enough that anons actually can jump on them to kill them.
>No toxic gases or radiant heat in Lethal Lava Land, or else this game is a no-win scenario.
>Powerups do their In game function, but you can choose to carry instead of using them.
>If an angle can be scaled in real life, we can do it, even if Mario can't
>All anons who posted in this thread are teleported in, allowing for teamwork
>All anons are teleported out of a world along with the guy who got the star
>Can carve defeated enemies for purposes like clothing or weaponry

>>388478981
one post late my friend

>1/3 parallel universe jokes
>1/3 references to SM64 machinima
>1/3 "how was i supposed to know to jump into the painting" jokes

what's the prize for beating bowser

>>388479070
Nobody here is fit enough to climb the pole in the second bowser level

>>388479339
>>388479339
Peach kisses all of us and makes a cake. The cake's also fucking big. Also we may as well take over the rest of the Mario universe, then the Nintendo multiverse.

First we gotta expand our territory before going after Bowser and killing him.
>Kill cameraman Lakitu
>Proceed to find their lair, get infinite clouds
>Anons then proceed to take over the rest of the Mushroom Kingdom while Bowser's in the castle
>News is ours, we essentially rule it all
>Then we go after Bowser

>>388479351
no one would even be fit enough to climb the hill in bobomb battlefield

>>388479070
write the script as an isekai LN, partner with Nintendo to release it and adapt it to an Anime, you'll make millions.

>>388479409
>/v/ takes over the Mario universe
>Expands to other universes
>This is the origin story for the Combine

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>island in the sky
>several anons miss and end up red smears across the level

Of course this is assuming the cannon doesn't totally kill you in the launch.

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>>388479351
FUCK YOU I CAN TRY

>>388480394
Just get a bunch of anons to make a trampoline/net to catch any errant attempts.

Why is this always so fun to think about? the imagination game is just really fun

>>388479732
>Implying we wouldn't world war z that shit and form a corpse wall going up one side of it until we reach king bob-omb

Now there's the real problem:Picking up a solid bomb that's about the size of a fucking ice cream truck if not bigger. The crown alone would weigh tons if it wasnt fake.

>that star where you have to blast to the mushroom in the sky

So...who wants to go first?

what about for the star in whomps fortress, where the owl drops you into the cage? wouldnt any normal person fucking die from falling at that height?

>>388480394
the cut tree stumps suggest us being able to manipulate the trees, we'll just cut up the trees near the start and pole vault onto there from the top of the mountain and whoever lands on the island without broken legs will grab the star

>>388480758
Short and lightweight people take less fall damage irl so we'll have all of the manlets go for it first, the owl won't be able to pick up anybody else anyway

>>388478981

>tfw you liked pannenkoek videos before that one blew up and now he doesn't make anything on his main channel anymore since shitposting memers gave him a panic attack

I turn back toime

Can't we just use all the fat people as improv platforms to board bowser's sub without going through all the stupid bullshit, just run across their backs really fast

>>388480642

I got it I stared directly at the solar eclipse last week and got a wing cap.

>>388480863

Where does his post now?

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>>388481035

So I know we can store up metal caps, wing caps, and vanish caps. Are those three needed for some stars?

>>388479070
Looks like we're eating fish for the rest of our lives because that's pretty much the only edible thing for a normal human in SM64

>>388480394
>take a bunch of bark cordage from the trees and shit
>uproot all the fences and string them together with the cordage
>dig up the cannon and move it up the mountain to decrease the required distance to fire
>fire an object attached to the giant fence chain over the island
>bam; fence ladder up to the island

So, uh, who're we using to bait the eel in Jolly Roger Bay? Surely that's one of the easiest 70 stars to get in the game, even for us. Or are you brave enough to go for 100%?

>>388481118
his second channel, uncommentatedpannen

>having to go down the secret slide in tall tall mountain

that would scare the shit out of me

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>>388479070
Okay. I'm breaking down Peach's bedroom door and I'm gonna steal her panties.
Then I guess I'll raid the kitchen if there is one. From there it's up to the other anons if they want to even bother. Might team up with Bowser. Give him all the hints n' what not to stop you guys if all of you happen to be autists.

>>388480863
You're an idiot. His commentated video set a new standard for what he considered should be on the main channel, so he's been posting anything less than that (which is everything since commentaries take more time), on his second channel. No one 'gave him a panic attack'.

So what do we do with traitors who want to fuck Bowser or want the stars for themselves?

guys I found this really cool piano in the spooky mansion you should come check it out, its music is beautiful

>>388478876
everyone tries to convince each other not to collect power stars and that only cucks would risk their lives trying to rescue princess peach

>>388478876
Lots of sodomy

>>388480982
>he needs the sub
'''henry'''

So what do we do about the slides?

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>>388481541

>>388480758
i mean, when you get the star, you teleport out the level...so dont miss.

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>>388481541
Sounds like his real-life did.

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mfw the gangbang of the century

>>388478876
This thread gets deleted.

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W-who's racing the penguin on cool cool mountain?

>>388481969
I want to cum inside of Princess Peach

>>388481901
Wow. What a thin-skinned sperg. Actually, sounds like his family's probably the worst part about it, so that almost makes sense, but still.

>>388482098
you are

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>>388478876

>>388482098

Just find the anons with crippling depression and tell them to make themselves useful if they're just gonna kill themselves anyway.

>>388482098
we make skis and sleds out of the bones of koopas a hail marry that race

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>>388480548
so basically this

>>388482098
Oh jesus, that just made me think of how terrifying the game is to a normal man.
>The aquarium
>Chain chomp
>Underage ends up going near the piano
>Bass ends up eating multiple anons willingly because they have a vore fetish
>A bunch of anons shit in the Boo's Mansion portal to fill it with shit and piss to impede everyone because they love Bowser
>Frozen bodies in Cool Cool Mountain and Snowman's Land
>Newfags falling for the Bowser in the Dark World trap

over half of everyone would probably try to climb onto the roof of the castle to fuck/molest Yoshi

>>388482504
haha

>>388482504
haha

>>388482504
haha

>>388482504
thats gay

>>388482504
yoshi doesnt spawn until you have 120 stars

Why are we even trying to get the stars? I'm OK living under Bowser's monarchy.

>>388478876
We all work together to save the Princess
Then gangbang the fuck out of her

>>388482674

>our best worker bees are people going for the 120 so they can have an orgy with yoshi once they're done

>>388479351
Say's you, I'm a PT IRL.

>>388482217

what am i supposed to be seeing here

Can we enter Big Small world at the same time, but with some people big and some small?

We need a bunch of /fit/izens to lift and spin bowser around

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>>388482865
>vorefag goes to big world and tries to eat small anons
Please, no

>Compressing all this autism into a 8mb cardridge

>Anons fall off the bottomless pit levels
>They spend 3 days, screaming hopelessly, hoping for death, while upbeat music plays
JESUS

ww@ /x/?
We're meeting at Boo's mansion right?

>>388482803
So Portuguese people climb better because they grip to the pole with their mustaches?

>>388480394
Couldn't someone just grab the wing cap and glide over from the top of the mountain?

>>388478876
I preferred Max Max: Sunshine Edition.

WAIT, WHAT ABOUT LIVES

If an anon dies, do they just appear again via getting thrown out of the painting?

How would any of us beat koopa the quick?

>>388483348
Half of us beat the shit out of him, while the other half runs like hell

>>388481969
You got a full version of that?

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>>388483335

depends on if we even get extra lives but probably

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>>388479070

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>>388483241
some brave anon will have to unock to wing cap first.
also
>anons finally unlock the invisible cap
>anons save invisible caps
>wears invisible caps at night to rape other anons while they are sleeping
>no one finds out who it is

>>388483404
Wouldn't we just need one fast guy running and everyone else musters up their strength to beat him up?

Can anyone play the piano? Listening to the BGM in Boo's level might get annoying after a while.

>>388483348
Literally have one guy run for it while the rest of us block his path

>>388483404
Or some anon can go to the flag, then some other anon starts the race.

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>>388483348
don't worry anon, i ran cross country

How much of the rules do we have to abide by?

Like, if another anon collects a star while you're close to one, could you choose to stay to collect that star?

>>388478876

i go poop

>/an/ tries to tame the chain chomp
>/vp/ makes their own list of the most dangerous of all the enemies
>/fit/ lifts bowser by the chest and throws him at the bombs
>/trash/ finds ways to force their fetishes in
>/his/ tries to uncover the history of Wet-Dry World's underwater city
>/x/ tries to sacrifice people so they can become Dry-Anons
>/vr/ instantly leaves, they prefer the originals more
>/tg/ devises ways to win quickly and in faster ways then any other anons
>/k/ makes mkeshift guns out of Snifit masks
>/out/ takes control of the cabin in Cool Cool Mountain, then they just chill there
>/g/ disassembles Heave-Hos to use for purposes
>/adv/ helps people stay alive by giving them motivation to stay in the game
>/pol/ starts an anti-Toad movement
>/m/ uses Tiny Huge Island to grow big and help other anons

>come across bowser
>barafags try to suck his dick

>>388483502
Just grab a lot of metal caps to become invincible to ass rape, duh

>>388483635
Footrace with koopa is only a few minutes or so though, we need a real runner like a sprinter or track runner.

>>388483502
>not raping various enemies

You know that one that looks like a flower and boosts you into the air when you jump on it?

I'm gonna rape it

>have to pick up and throw something that's as big as a house about as far as a city block, at least 5 times, to win
>have to hold breath for well over a minute while diving 100s of feet below water to reach second bowser-level
>many levels drop you into the level from 10-50 feet in the air
no-win scenario

>>388483706
>>/fit/ lifts bowser by the chest and throws him at the bombs
no, they'd just break out in an orgy.

>>388482956
Its just going to be a dozen anons all clinging onto his tail while screaming SO LONG GAY BOWSER.

Who's brave enough to even attempt Rainbow Ride? That whole world is a death sentence, even more so than Lethal Lava Land.

>>388483771
>not raping the piano

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>>388483771
wrong game, buddy

>>388481901
poor guy...

>>388483771
>try to fuck that flower thing
>end up twirling 50 feet in the air with your dick out

>>388483706
/tg/ would just bring rope, and then team up with /d/ for creative uses of it.

>>388483706
>Heave-Hos
How would they even manage to get one, though?
It'd kill most of them before they could pick one up.

>>388483680

I'm assuming stars are cumulative and it's like TWEWY where if one guy wins we all succeed at that mission.

>>388480394
>island in the sky

Why the absolute FUCK would any anon try to get this? We don't need every star.

So, do Dry-Anons exist? do we live upon falling into lava by being undead? I guess that means if so, we can help out more, but can't jack off or have sex or feel anything like a boner.

>>388483891
https://www.mariowiki.com/Spindrift

>>388483925
>midair cum sprinkler
Sounds hilarious to me.

>day 534 of the Great Transport
>hundreds of anons have perished due to natural circumstances of the world and societal breakdown
>those who do survive have crafted their bodies into optimal survival machines, feeding upon infinitely respawning goombas in a variety of meals
>the original home base, the castle, is a madhouse
>it is covered in shit, blood, and other bodily fluids, the carpets are dirty messes littered with biological waste and torn-apart furniture
>within several corners are doodles of a poorly drawn, large-breasted, feminine-penis-having Princess Peach are sullied with dry semen, atop a bed of shit with an ungodly scent
>the walls are vandalized with the fecal matter of anons, with messages such as "no hope," "no escape," and "i want to fuck a pink bob-omb"
>anons have formed their own factions, dividing themselves on what they believed brought them to the world of Super Mario 64
>some say an omnipotent entity was punishing a select group of humans for the sins of their whole species
>some believe it's a virtual reality torture device
>and some believe it's a product of meme magic, QPUs, and half a presses

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>>388483975
>TWEWY

>>388478876

I know this is a "fun" thread, but the thought of being trapped in a game is honsetly something I find very disturbing. Imagine actually DYING in a fucking video game and never being heard from again; your very last thought would be some panic as you die from say, a chain chomp or falling off the ice slide, and you are dead in this lonely, empty virtual world.

Jesus in heaven can someone talk Yoshi down from the roof, I think he's about to jump

>>388483869
Give me a stock of Wing Caps and 1-ups and I'd see what I could do.

I start to climb the castle so I can jizz on Yoshi's face.

Can you imagine that green dinosaur giving you a blowjob?

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Better question:

>that /tv/ poster who just stays on Tiny-Huge Island making Bane jokes all day

>>388484134
I'd rather imagine him pooing out eggs

Are we all trapped in the game until we complete it?

At least 500000 repetitions of SO LONG GAY BOWSER spammed 24/7

>>388484195
Yes, hope you did everything you needed to before entering.

>>388480394
Fuck that star

>>388484085
>dying while having fun trying to live and progress in a fantasy world
vs
>regressing to a baby at age 90 and waiting for death

>>388484195
Probably. OP did say we can move on to another game series after we beat the game.

>>388484168

>implying he wouldn't hang out in the wing cap missions to say everyone that fails didn't fly so good

>>388484195
just until we beat bowser, which i believe only requires like 70 of the 120 stars or something like that. so not all stars need to be collected. someone here has a list of the stars that would be doable by humans. if you have that list please post it.

>>388484148
Literally every nigga here would let Grunty win

>>388484354

If you cheat it out you can get to bowser with like one star

who's gonna do the aquarium?

>>388484354
>implying our knowledge of how the game works isn't going to help

I'm sure some fucking maniacs could get to the final bowser level within a few hours

>>388484085
I find the idea of being trapped in a game very appealing because games have concrete rules and a win condition to work toward. Real life a lot of things are just outright impossible and the things you want can be out of your hands entirely.

>all those anons that would die getting dared to en-masse go on the ice slide
>all those anons that would then die trying to speed run it

>>388484195
Last time I was in a thread like this the anons who survived until the end got Mario-level athleticism and got to stay in the Mario universe.

Like it's an actual world at that point.

>>388484195
If you complete it you have to move on to Super Mario Sunshine.

>>388484460
You would unironically break all the bones in your body and suffer a horribly agonizing death if you tried to BLJ through anything, so that method's out.

>>388481901
>HOW DARE PEOPLE ENJOY SOMETHING I POURED MY HEART AND SOUL INTO

fuck people aspergers. seriously.

>>388484619
Do each of us get F.L.U.D.D.?
what do we do on the sand bird?

>>388484637
How would someone ironically break their bones?

>>388484619
>Super Mario Sunshine

But what can we fuck?

>>388484354
Gimme a minute, I know I have something like that on my phone.

So do we go to Half Life 2 universe after we beat this one, with all the weaponry we had in 64?

>>388484740
>not fucking fludd

https://youtu.be/XBc7N5ROfD4

>>388484740
Yoshi ofc

>>388484619
I'd rather kill myself than die in that hell. Tropical paradise my fucking ass.

>>388484736
/v/ would find a way.

Gets ruined by overwatch kids and anime footniggers

>>388484619
>The pachinko level is just covered in blood splatters everywhere
Jesus, I don't need that image in my head.

>>388478876
I-I.. n-need to use the restroom but theres none anywhere in the castle.
G-guys which painting should we agree to... you know...

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>>388484760
Here's the first one.

Daily reminder that we can use the underage for things like reaching smaller areas we regularly can't like the igloo.

Hey guys I found Luigi! Go up the stairs in the main entrance, he's in the Peach painting in the hallway to the left.

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>>388484740
The Noki, Pianta, the bloopers, Yoshis, the sunflowers

I can't think of anything else

>>388484740
I would say TTYD after that, but everyone would be too busy fucking goombella to continue.

>>388484619
Everyone who can't swim is already trembling in fear, but good luck getting the Shine Sprite from that giant fish with nasty teeth, I'd honestly rather take my chances doing the special stages.

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>Fatanons get sent to cold worlds while smaller anons get sent to hotter ones
>Buffanons are used as combat specialists
>Femanons chasing around small anons in big small world
This would make some good greentext shit.

>>388485006
Anything with a bottomless pit, unless it just shoots back out of the painting at terminal velocity after a certain distance, then anything with lava for incineration.

>>388485053
DON'T DO THIS, THERES NO LUIGI
DO I GO DOWN THE SLIDE?

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>>388485017
Here's the second one.

>>388485017
Why would the bully ones be hard?

Surely multiple anons could push that fucker back

>>388485078
I'm not against fucking Goombella, but surely some people would work on getting towards the other waifus after

How many anons would it take to chip off that wall with the star in Whomp's fortress?

>>388485219
Don't forget that there are 100 coin stars, we could get at least a few of those easily if we have trouble with some others.
>>388485263
Going by game rules, one, but he's absolutely dead.

>>388485263
None. We dig away at the wall.

>>388485247
Even then, most of us would choose to become the shadow queen's servant.

>>388485006

Just do it on at the start of one of the slides.

>>388485078
>Goombella
>not Vivian
Its like you don't even know what board you're on.

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>>388485136
>Anything with a bottomless pit, unless it just shoots back out of the painting at terminal velocity
you think bigger then me anon, we can make some fucking new age art on an opposite wall with this shit, this literal shit
fuck we might even make a new shit world assuming the shit gets entangled with the painting magic as it leaves that shit
we might be able to collect some extra shit stars with this shit nigga

>>388485263
One brave soul.

>>388485219
we could do the bomb-omb one if we had enough people.

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>>388478876
>uses the castle from mario kart 64 instead of the super mario 64 one lol

Nigga u think we stupid?

>>388485413
Don't forget, the games says ALL the paintings have worlds, but we don't get access to them

So we could just grab a painting we couldn't normally reach in the game, and just shit into it

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>>388480560
>Read this
>Think about the Bowser fight
>Hundreds of anons screaming "so long gay Bowser"

>>388479351
With enough people we can pile onto the pole to lift someone up by forming a human mound.

Or we can build a ladder

>>388485413
>painting magic gets overloaded and we now have a pajeet path to end-game places
ggez

I hope some billionaire is in this thread and secretly builds the entirety of SM64 to scale with all natural dangers included.

I punch a guy in the face and he says "OMPF"

>>388485394
>fuck everyone on the way to the shadow queen
>before she even finishes her sentence we say yes
>now get to fuck literally everyone for all time

>>388485006

Tiny Huge Island

Don't tell the vorefags and miniaturefags though

https://youtu.be/VZocAR2lj8U
This is gonna be as close as any of us are gonna get when it finally comes out.

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>>388485669
Too late

>>388485669

>go to take a shit in the tiny portrait so it'll be so small nobody has to deal with it
>accidentally go to the huge one without noticing

>>388485017
Let's do the bunny glitch then

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>Take a dump as a hugeanon on Tiny Huge Island
>There's now a giant mound of feces
YOU AREN'T EVEN LOOKING INTO THIS ANONS.

>>388479070
>powerups function

so we get extra lives but don't start with any

>>388485840
No extra lives. That would cheapen the factor.

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>>388485813
>accidentally go to the huge one without noticing

>>388481179

we can eat yoshi

>>388485093
>engineering majors work on widening the bottom pipe in THI
>take the top pipe itself in THI and put it through the other pipe
>now femanons can go through the embiggening pipes twice, becoming even bigger, and anons can go through the shrinking pipes twice, becoming even smaller
Sign me the fuck up.

>>388485820
At least the Indians will have a place like home

>>388485006
shifting sand land duh. It's the only place that could cover up the stink.

Granted we might not get into the basement for a while, so let's settle for Cool Cool Mountain until then, frozen turds don't smell.

>>388478876
I sneak around knocking out people who are alone before raping them
then I put a cork in their ass to hold my semen in them and pull their pants back up so they won't know what happened

>>388485634
ive actually been meaning to do this but with kokiri forest. its much easier to make. i have the perfect spot set out and everything. i just need the time and the tools now.

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>All anons have different progress
>Meaning someone is probably fighting a bowser at some point at all times
>All you can hear throughout the castle https://youtu.be/ipRg3XlHbgc

>>388485813
>accidentally
You're not fooling shit, anon.

>>388485903
Not true. I'm sure there's plenty of deaths that wouldn't be pleasant to remember.

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>>388485954
Nice one anon.

>>388481969
SOURCE PLEASE

*star pops up literally just out of reach*
oh for fucks sake, someone give me a little push.

Do toads get to help like real people in this scenario

>>388485817
We can't some anon has been fucking the bunny since we got here.

>>388485986

Hey man sometimes when you have to go you don't notice things like everything suddenly getting much larger around you

>>388486121
>implying there'll be any toads left alive after we enter

>>388485903
then what do green mushrooms do?

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>>388486121
>Implying we aren't all toads

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DryAnon here, I need a 1-up mushroom so I can jack off again. You can't do that as a skeleton.

>>388486206
Taste like spearmint.

Guys, what if when we're done with Tiny Huge Island, we could somehow take the size-changing pipes with us and bring them to the Bowser fights?

We could have an army of giant femanons bully Bowser into submission.

>>388484372
This.
>Let your sister turn ugly.
>Grunty does her thing.
>Kill vegetables for food and stay in a comfy house.
At least until we find a way to leave.

>>388486170
The toads will be kept alive as fucksleeves for the anons that can't wait for better things

>>388486304
if we can get tiny pipes out theres no longer any challenge left.

>>388486304

or maybe put bowser in the pipe so he's really small haha

>>388486305
Shit, if we helped Grunty stop Banjo she'd probably help us find a way out via magic

possibly

>>388486305
>Let your sister turn ugly.
>your sister
So in addition to the anons, the anons sisters come with?

>>388486313
>implying a hundred sweaty and stressed anons would have any sense of restraint or remorse

>>388486401
*Banjo's sister

>>388486382
Or just find Mumbo or Humba

>>388486382

I'd rather just fuck her.

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So uh, as soon as we beat Bowser, I guess we need to take a break. And you know what break means, a Mario Party, with hundreds of anons in every minigame.

>>388486479
Time for a civil war.

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>>388486479
Hundreds... Thousands... All dead...

>>388486479
>anons brutally murdering eachother over stars
Fuck the minigames, we'd just kill eachother.

>>388486479

>mario retardy with a hundred people

oh man oh jeez

Damn this thread makes me hyped about that mario 64 online hack

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>>388486479
>the beat goes on with over 100 anons

>>388486382
Realistically, all we would have to do is keep breaking the bridge so Banjo can't get in.

>>388486479
All but one anon dies on the first minigame.

>>388479070
How do water levels work? If we don't have expanded lung capacity then nobody would bother since you can get 70 stars without them.

>>388486479
NAH FUCK THAT.
ILL IDLE AT THE BOX BREAKER FOR EVER.

>>388486728
Presumably jew gold would let you live longer because jew magic.

>>388485006
Jolly Roger Bay or Wet Dry World since they'd be shitty or impossible to complete for a normal person anyways.

>>388478876
Rape a goomba

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>>388486479
I can do worse. Much, much worse. Especially if both anons don't trust each other.

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>>388486479

>Mario Party with /v/

Holy christ, retardy is already a shitshow, but with anons? Imagine all the deaths

>>388486891
*unsheathes lightning*

How do I get to the roof? I have a couple of questions for yoshi haha

>>388486796
Would coins heal non-fatal wounds as well or would we have to craft makeshift medical equipment?

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>>388486891
*Distant chain chomps*

>>388478876
they all jump on a corner and go flying out of the map

>>388486861
Why do people keep forgetting that coins = oxygen still applies to us?
We'd just need to fasten ropes and shit in case of emergencies. And some brave aussies would have to go in first to harpoon the jolly roger barracuda.

>>388478876
We form factions in the different levels and start fighting each other, If i see you on my level, i'm gonna fuck u up nigger.

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who wants to take the plunge?

>>388487014
Since there aren't any super mushrooms, and I don't trust the anti-septic properties of Goomba skin, it's either coins heal or you're revived in good health upon death.

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>>388486891
>Baby Park

>>388481901
what a faggot

>>388487107
Why not just load goomba's in there instead?
We'd get there eventually.

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>>388486479
no, just no. It takes like 3 minutes for everyone on the original game to get a turn. when theres 100+ people we are talking hours before the first mini game, and most anons will be too tired to compete even then

>>388487107
i'm trying to grab this star over here, first help me with that.
>>388486891
watch as someone gets the heaviest kart possible and teams up with a fat fuck.
then proceeds to knock everyone else off the road and probably off a cliff

>>388487232
we can make teams

>>388487107
We could just pick up a block or make a hammer and smash it. Or put the Buddy Bomb-omb/goombas in it.

>>388487107

>Not simply pounding it with your fist

Have you ever watched pannenkeok anon?

>Day 1000 since the drifting
>Bowser is dead, but at what cost? Thousands of innocent people, all killed due to this unknown god, like a torturer never releasing us to death.
>Soon as we beat his game, he throws another one at us, making it an unending cesspool of death. It started off with a party, then a kart racing, then a paper book, dear lord, that book was horrifying.
>Then, like an evil god, we were all forced to go to the BeanBean Kingdom, out of our natural forces, without our greatest weapons. May god have mercy on our souls.

>>388479070
Can we have our cap on backwards acceleration removed as the one exception to real world physics? It only feels right.

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>>388481901
fug

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I remember triple jumping up onto the hill to the right of the castle, then slide-kicking repeatedly to scramble my way up to the top of the castle. Did anyone else do this?

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>>388487553
>Cackleta Soul

>>388487107
anyone who attempts this either falls into the abyss or gets a broken neck. truly a sacrificial star.

>>388487553
>Paper book
Jesus fucking christ, what could've happened in Paper Mario to make it that horrific? Did somebody end up getting a lighter halfway through?

>>388487553
>>388487690
Any RPG that you know the events of would be much easier to break than SM64. Could just have her imprisoned when she's disguised as the envoy or outright assassinate her.

>>388487749
Forget that, it was the day someone got that dreaded scissor sticker.
i can still see the carnage when i close my eyes.

>>388487749
anyone forced into it would be crushed into a 2D form

Hey guys, which lvl is where the Spics people go?, i wanna see my fellow Mexicans and shit.

>>388487690
Well, we'll have better times off as soon as we possibly get to Bowser's Inside Story.
>We take over Bowser's rotting corpse and revive it
>We also have full control over it due to how many anons there are
Just imagine anons.

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>>388481962
sounds like pannen should team up with Ulillillia to finish Platform Masters

>>388487983
spics go in the lava or are frontline fodder, 2bqh

>>388487602
I just climbed the hill, what the fuck are you doing?

>>388488181
Can i take some friends to a trip into the Snow levels?

>>388487991
Oh jesus, if we're going through all the Mario & Luigi games, does that mean we have to do Paper Jam?
>Everything seems fine at first
>Then there's just a large puddle of corpses where Wiggler is

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>>388487991
We're going to have way too much experience with going into bodies if we're going through the first 3 M&L games, Bowletta sucks us up, we get eaten by Yoob & we have to fuck with Bowser's body normally. God damn all the vorefags are going to love this shit.

>>388487690
Assuming Anons team up, you'll have multiple times to attack

>Anons make Bros Attacks
Pray for Cackletta, not that that will help her

HELP.
guys help.
i got onto the roof of the castle and i don't know how to get down.

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>>388487991
>someone wants to talk to bowser
>anons begun pulling on old, rotten muscles to open his jaw, others need to move his diaphragm so he can breath, and another team tries to move his vocal cords
>"euuaurrrghhfaggutfhhhert"
>"Lord Bowser, are you alright?"

So, in order of all the games we go through, we got...
>Mario 64
>Mario Party
>Double Dash
>Paper Mario 64
>Superstar Saga
>Partners In Time
>Bowser's Inside Story
>Dream Team
>Paper Jam
And then we go to Galaxy and take over the rest of the universe, I presume?

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>>388488338
>all the anons have to hold back when attacking

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>>388488385
Try to slide down the hill carefully to the right of it, just make sure you don't mysteriously die.

>>388478876
Someone starts throwing people off levels
Deep sea fags stick around the lagoon
Speed run fags attempt to use glitches
Someone gets toasted alive and everyone avoids lava levels afterward
Brap posters chill in gassy part of the caves and force people to choke on the fumes
That one nigger that keeps stopping the clock
Toad fucking orgy

>>388485060
I unironically want to fuck a pianta

>>388488496
Why do we skip TTYD?

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>>388488496
No, we go on to destroy hotels.

>>388488636
I don't blame you.

They're big happy islanders, probably fun.

>>388481442
Save some of the panties for me

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Would it even be possible to beat adventure mode like this?

>>388488792
We're pretty much Fighting Polygon Team as a playable character. It could work.

>>388488792
>Norfair
No.

>>388488431
>>someone wants to talk to bowser
Wouldn't they just go to the fucking Pipe Yard and find him outside of his body?

https://www.mariowiki.com/Pipe_Yard

So, full list of the games we go through. The paper anons go on their own adventures between Superstar Saga and Paper Jam.
>Mario 64
>Mario Party
>Double Dash
>Paper Mario 64
>Superstar Saga
>Partners In Time
>Bowser's Inside Story
>Dream Team
>Paper Jam
>Hotel Mario
>Mario Galaxy
>Melee

OH SHIT SOME GUY JUST FELL IN THE WATER WITH DORRIE THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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>>388478876
I'd probably game over to a Goomba desu

>>388488707
but if we're all in the game and need help in beating any of the seven koopa hotels, how will we check out the enclosed instruction book?

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>>388488707
WHEN DOES IT END?????

>>388488792
If even some of the physics apply to us, yes. We'd probably all have shitty movesets tho

>>388488857
>all of us share stocks
>our stock total doesn't go down until we've all been defeated once

>>388489042
We all have our own copies. Except those who are gay.

>>388489001
FUCK

>5 games worth of fuckable things, or 3

>>388489095
Sounds good, we can use the instruction books as kindling to just burn down all the hotels except the last one that obviously has the princess in it.

>>388489001
So, after Melee do we just conquer the Nintendo multiverse? I guess we should go after another game series like Zelda next, with all of our equipment. Maybe starting with Ocarina of Time.

>>388479070
>>Can carve defeated enemies for purposes like clothing or weaponry
we /monsterhunter/ now

>>388479070
If we die in the game do we die in real life? Lava and falling off the stage poses a potent issue; there'd be a lot of dead anons who just barely didn't make a jump

>>388489256
I'm going the hard route. Who wants to do the Kirby series with me?

>deafening "A press" arguments coming from hazy maze area
>anons looking up at the sunbeam with eclipse glasses in the foyer
>peaches slide is clogged with people trying to race each other to the bottom
>some anons have created a human ladder to get to yoshi on the top of the castle
>tick tick clock is full of people screaming ZA WARUDO and jumping into the face at noon
>lava surfing competitions in the basement
>staircase to bowser is clogged by neckbeards trying to BLJ
>some anons are taking turns raping the rabbit and toads
>castle courtyard is blaring scatman at full blast
>big boos haunt area boarded off with 2spooky4me sign

>>388489256
>Instantly rush towards Ganondorf at the start, leaving Navi behind
>Rush to the castle, fucking up any guard that comes our way
>Trample Ganondorf over with our Yoshi steeds, preventing him from ever getting the Triforce of Power
gg no re

>>388478876
We wouldn't accomplish anything because we'd be arguing about some dumb shit the whole time

>>388489256
But how would Ocarina of Time work? Would anons all just start falling out of links house? Do we each get a fairy? Are all the fairies Navi? If one anon gets a piece of equipment, do all other anons get it too or is there only one?

There's way too many variables here.

>>388489182
oh right, how much would we kill each other anything remotely fuckable appeared?
especially the female partners in paper mario

>>388489362
If you die you feel all of the pain and then you're ejected out of the painting at 300 mph feeling all of the pain of the impact without any actual injuries.

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Guys, I'm going to do it. I'm going to set him free.

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>>388486891
>Baby Park
>Some anon grabs Bowser's shell
That'd be some Mad Max shit, bits of karts and mangled bodies flying everywhere

What do we get if we get all 120 stars?

>>388489584
>this kills the anon

What happens if you turn a painting towards the wall while anons are inside? Or put two paintings facing eachother really close? Maybe we could even dig out holes on the spawn point of two levels so that the banished anons will be falling forever

FULL LIST OF GAMES SO FAR:
>Mario 64
>Mario Party
>Double Dash
>Paper Mario 64
>Superstar Saga
>Partners In Time
>Bowser's Inside Story
>Dream Team
>Paper Jam
>Hotel Mario
>Mario Galaxy
>Melee
>Ocarina of Time (Quick win according to >>388489456)
>Faces of Evil

>>388489624
to sniff yoshi's eggs

>>388489530
Well, if it's enemies, we'd probably just end up capturing a bunch of them

As for Partners, some people would probably be against gangbangs, but that's their loss.

>>388489485
Real world physics apply to the anons so we just rush all of the dungeons. The real challenge would be getting all three stones in one place and fighting over who gets the Master Sword.

>>388489624
Free blowjob and a slice of cake.

>>388489256
>Maybe starting with Ocarina of Time.
So many Anons are going to turn into Skull Kids in the Lost Woods.

>>388489485
We all get a fairy, not all of them are Navi, if one Anon gets an Item they get it only unless they give it to another Anon. No idea where we start, probably somewhere in Kokiri Forest.

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>>388489662
>Faces of Evil
fug
At least we can all recite the opening from memory, right?

>>388489458

How about you shut your fucking face

>>388489679
But you can just scale the castle from the start since we can climb.

>>388489779
Nah, turning into skull kids wouldn't apply to us maybe

>>388489757
I dont think a slice of cake and being Blowjob #10000 would be very good rewards

>>388489757
from peach?
i wonder how long it would take her.

>>388489852
Underage turn into Skull Kids, we turn into Stalfos.

>>388489854
Your standards are too high then, I'd kill a dozen anons for that cake and blowjob

>>388489852
Doesn't apply assuming we all get fairies, Link didn't get turned into a Skull Kid despite being a Hylian. Adults get turned into Stalfos anyways, I'm sure a lot of people would willingly abandon/rape/kill their fairies so they could become spooky scary skeletons.

>>388489909
30 seconds according to Paper Mario. Quite impressive for a cake, really.

>>388489950
Doesn't it also only apply if you get lost for too long?

>>388489948
That cake better be fucking infinite

>>388489950
>Link didn't get turned into a Skull Kid despite being a Hylian.
He got turned into a Stalfos according to TP.

>>388488792
As long as we get the courtesies of:
>double jump
>no fall damage

then we'd be able to do it. The real shitshow would be the Subspace Emissary. Then I argue that we need shields and dodges with i-frames otherwise we're not getting past Tabuu.

>>388489946
>>388489950
>Adults get turned into Stalfos anyways
I forgot that's how it works, I would've said that in my original post if I remembered. Still a lot are probably underage here, I wonder how that's going to effect any game we're in.

>>388489779
>giving every anon their own fairy
People would just fart into the glass bottles and trap the fairies inside.

>>388489662
Okay, Zelda universe is finished with us for when we complete Faces of Evil, off to F-Zero we go, an even harder game for us to win.

>>388482098
i guess you could just hold on to the sides of it or just not do it.

>>388490181
>fart
Oh you poor, naïve child. Farts are the least offensive thing you can fill a glass with.

>>388490219
>F-Zero triggers PTSD for the people who lived from Double Dash to it
They won't be prepared at all.

>>388490219
What vehicles are we given?

>>388490219
I got a question. do we have a leader for this? Are we like a legion or do we have a leader who knows everything about Nintendo games and thus exploited glitches to become a god?

>>388488987
He means an NPC wanting to talk to him, and anons having to control his voice since he would be a corpse at that point.

>>388489779
Can I impregnate my fairy?

>>388490219
>that spoiler

No thanks, we need something actually possible

>>388490507
You can try but remember they're small as hell, don't kill it.

>>388490374
We only get one vehicle with room for one driver.
The other anons just have to hold onto the outside for dear life

>>388490580
I'd carry another fairy in a bottle just in case

Besides, I wouldn't need to stick my dick in, just gotta make sure the semen gets in her

>>388478876
we die because the N64 doesn't have the hardware to simulate two thousand human brains

>>388490579
How about Sonic the Hedghehog? Our almighty ruler OP doesn't want others interfering with his universe-wide empire.

>>388478876
Some just walk around the castle and grounds and admire how nice it all is.
Including me.

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>>388490718
Much better.

I wonder if there would be a anon stupid enough to shoot himself against the peach window with the cannon

>>388490841
Hold my hat.

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>>388488361
>everyone helps grind to buy mush badges for just about everyone as well as a full inventory of mushrooms
>cackletta's fw