>1500+ hours played >800 MMR

>>388434782
>300+ hours played
>have only played against bots except for one or two games

How do you get over the fear of being paired up with russian amputees?

>>388434782
Do English speaking people even play anymore? Every game I've played recently my entire team spoke Portuguese.

>mmr
>meaning shit
this is why "toxic" faggots exist. because of this shit system that rewards selfish fucktards.

before you either got gud and joined/made a clan or you shut the fuck up.

>>388434782
But how? Having a stable internet connection and being able to play the game above 15 fps is like 500 mmr right there. The next 500 is not being mentally challenged. The next 1000 is just having a barebones understanding of how a moba works.

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>>388434989
How do you do this, truly. I don't mean to be rude, but you genuinely have to be simple-minded to enjoy playing only against bots for 300+ hours in a game like Dota 2. I'm embarrassed for you.

>>388435154
Depends on region, I often get at least one to two English speakers in a game. However, people rarely listen to each other.

I put in 2000 hours before I quit and never once played ranked. I knew I was shit but I didn't want the game to actually tell me I was shit.

>>388435556
I only play on US servers.

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post qt Dota

>>388435717
post the one where qop is giving that dude a blowjob

i'm at work grant me this one request

>4.5k games played
>3k mmr

good thing i only play ability draft like a true tryhard

>>388435458
It's pretty fun with the different workshop mods.

How can you enjoy every game where it's basically a slot machine if you are paired up with anyone decent, or even anyone that speaks the same language?

>>388435907
I don't know, I played for 1k hours back in the day and drifted around 4k and 5k. Seemed easy enough.

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>>388435785
dont have that one

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>>388435713
You have to play more. Specifically use your chat much more often for a few weeks. Valve implemented language based teaming a few weeks ago, at the same timethey made the LP punishments super nasty. Your """""""""""Preferred Language"""""""""" selection is completely meaningless now, as opposed to before where all it did was make it so that beaners could q quicker on USE. Your teams are based on the language you chat in. So don't speak in Spanish or Portuguese in any of your games if you want to play with English. It takes shitload of time, but after a while you'll notice super distinct teams, where you'll q in and have 4 other humans with real names, and all the animals will be on the other team with xXx NP.RTZ xXx and dARkl0rd3414 with generic steam prof pictures.

>>388436081
I'm so unmotivated to play Dota 2 again I may just not bother. I logged in for the first time in maybe a year and the first thing I was greeted with was a loot box with the potential shit inside of it and was immediately turned off.

Also good god that courier is atrocious looking. Valve very clearly abandoned their own art direction for Dota 2. Again.

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>>388435717
Enchantress is the QTest. Sproink

>>388436321
>2017
>still no rule 34 of enchantress getting corrupted by thorny satyr dick

Truly, dota2 is the worst community.

>900 hours played
>1800 mmr
I've climbed about a thousand since I started playing ranked so I can probably make it to 3k in no time.

The only hard thing about 1k is teammate don't know when their picking into counters or when it's a perfect time to change their pick into a counter.
If the enemy line up is all INT and the safelane is already lined up with a Chaos Knight it isn't often they'll change to Antimage without hard pressuring.

>>388435154
>queue for a match
>all 4 teammates are russian
>they communicate only in russian
>I can't understand shit
>tell them I don't understand
>they say ok
>they continue speaking in russian even in teamfights
Great.

One time I found this guy who ONLY wrote in moonrunes.
I tried to speak to him using google translate, and he responded with moonrunes reading CHINESE BASTARD: Translated from Japanese
Eventually I convinced him to speak english, but it was broken as shit.

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daily reminder there's a russian with sub 500 mmr over 7000 games AND HE STILL PLAYS DOTA
https://www.dotabuff.com/players/121001811

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>playing ranked mode

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>>388434782
Want to play party ranked?

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>>388434782
>1323 hours played
>Never played ranked
Ability draft is the best gamemode prove me wrong

>>388436628
>Get 4 Portuguese teammates
>One starts throwing for some reason I can't understand because I don't speak Portuguese
>They start pinging and cursing each other the rest of the match

Fuck this game.

>>388436457
>No Centaur x Enchantess
I just wanna see two horse things fuck

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>>388436298
Yeah, I actually bitch about the loss of style on dota MTX so much my friends banned me from talking about it. But it's super bad, and it's really really apparent these days. There's one item for wukong, and it immediately breaks his color palette. If that's not just so fucking indicative of the complete laziness of valve these days, I don't know what is.

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>>388434782
>2k hours played
>2k mmr
>stop playing
>come back
>ranked
>someone doesn't get mid so they rush mid and feed the whole time with TPs and couriers
>alt+f4

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>2000 hours
> 2300 MMR
I am so tired...

>>388436701

low level games are way more fun. You can do all kind of insane shit and get away with it. I've been playing more normal matchmaking because of this.

>>388436756
random draft, it forces you to pick heroes you dont know and therefore learn the game more

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I queue on eu east eu west and russia and i still always get like 2 people tht communicate frequently and the rest understand but say very little in english. you guys must have shit behav score for flaming.

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Are there any heroes you managed to get some nice matching equipment for?
Fucking model clipping drives me up the wall.

>>388437045
>low level games are way more fun

t.shitter that can't handle playing serious mode with the big boys

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If you ever play this game with less than 2 friends (ie 3 stack or more) then you are playing the game wrong. Dota sucks with random, but it's fun as fuck with friends who are willing to try stupid shit with you.

>>388436828
I had a game once where a bulgarian, a greek and 2 russians were shitposting constantly about the origin of the cyrillic alphabet calling eachother thieves.
Great game though.

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>>388437287
Why I love playing this hero so much I wasted my money for virtual hats

>>388436953
Jesus Christ man how?? I have 2k hours and I'm already at 3.5k mmr. Still haven't found your "main easy win" hero?

>>388437718
I dont' have friends who play dota.

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>>388434989
Just press the button anon, there is no way around it. You will learn to just have fun your own way.

>>388436756
Ability Draft takes too much time to get going. And if you're unlucky and get a shit base hero and/or bad skills you might as well leave.

All random deathmatch is the best mode

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>>388434989
Are you me?

>>388438130
As long as you dont try to pick carry on character that arent carry you should be fine

>>388434782
Same here. Some of us just suck at vidya, it's ok.

>decide to play captains mode
>captain locks in
>"hold on a second guys check this out"
>picks nature's profit
>enigma
>brood mother
>Chen
>lone druid
>"ta dah! All summoned heroes!"
>everyone else on the team myself included call him a retard for picking us all such shit heroes
>our final ban is coming up
>we tell him he better ban axe or it's fucking gg
>"lol hold up I have a better idea"
>bans invoker
>enemy team locks in axe straight away
>whole team cept for captain abandon

And this is why dota is a fucking nightmare to play, the average match goes on for like 40 mins. And I don't wanna spend that 40 mins feeding because my captain is legit autistic

>>388438464
Last time I played ability draft I got Crystal maiden and ended up with blink, brilliance aura, ether shock and macropyre.

>>388438464
Picking a carry is the worst thing you can do in solo because if your team is incompetent you'll get all the blame.

>>388438741
>playing captain's mode EVER when solo

>>388435458
I got a friend who's played 2400 hours and counting despite only playing solo bot games. Refuses to play with people even when offered. Always felt slightly bad for the dude.

>>388438741
Holy shit everyone start posting dota shitter stories, here's mine

>go into game with some dude on my team who's name is "jungle = feed"
>he picks anti mage
>he goes 12 - 3 in the first 14 mins
>has over 100 last guys and about 60 denies
>has bf, manta, skull basher by about 20 mins
>suddenly someone in jungle kills a creep
>he starts pinging them like crazy and spams all chat with "GG COME MID I FEED"
>denys all his items and feeds the team about 40 deaths
>we lose
>start another game up, tilted as fuck
>he's on my team again
>oh boy here we go
>warn the rest of my team mates that the dude is fucking daffy and will feed if someone on our team kills a jungle creep
>he locks in slark, goes bot and once again plays like a fucking pro
>12 - 0 in the first 15 mins
>Lycan decides to jungle
>PINGING INTENSIFIES
>"GG COME MID I FEED"
>denies items again
>feeds about 30 deaths again
>we lose again
>decide to have one more game before bed
>HE'S ON MY FUCKING TEAM AGAIN WAT
>he locks in invoker and goes MID
>warn the fuck out of my team pre game to not jungle or he will feed
>some pinoy autist tells me "SHUT UP WHORE NOOB" and locks in legion and marks jungle
>the second the game starts he says "GG COME MID I FEED"
>abandon

Havnt played dota since, that dudes autism actually made me feel rate beyond measure.

>>388434782
How the fuck is that even possible?

I calibrated to 2.5k after playing like a hundred normals.

The last time I played this some fag playing io teletported me deep into the trees on the edge of the map and sent my friend on top of a rock. Beforehand he kept sending us into the enemy base and accused us feeding. Then he killed the courier so we couldn't teletport home. Never played again

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>>388438741
>>388439431
You kids are just bad and not mentally disciplined like me.
Go back to League of Legends.

>>388434782
Maybe stop playing and start learning you fucking brainlet

>>388439431
>jungle = feed

I'VE PLAYED WITH THIS FUCKER HOLY SHIT HOW CAN SOMEONE SO GOOD AT DOTA BE SUCH A SHIT BAG IN THE GAME I HAD WITH HIM HE WENT 8 - 0 AS SF ABOUT 10 MINS IN THEN I KILL ONE JUNGLE CREEP AND HE FEEDS LIKE WHY WHAT'S THE POINT YOUR ALREADY SNOWBALLING IN GOLD

>>388438974
you misspelled "support"

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>900 hours
>Got from 1.3k to 2.2k with just playing Skywrath, Lina, Lich, Necro and sometimes outworld.

>>388439856
From my experience between playing a support right and playing a carry right, you can get blamed while being a carry while playing it right, because you didn't carry your retarded team even though they've been doing shit wrong all game.

what are your guys favorite heroes? I love the underdogs, brew, shadow demon, lone druid,

>>388439997
>not spamming brood earthshaker antimage to get out of the pit
It's like you don't even want to shake it.

>>388439779
It must be his life philosophy, I gotta give the guy credit, he is loyal to his beliefs

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>2900 hours
>3.3k

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>>388434782
>play dota with friends
>they take it too seriously and start arguing with each other when something goes wrong
>try to keep my cool but somehow get dragged into the argument
>practically begging them to stop arguing
>can't concentrate
>start playing like shit

And don't even get me started on ranked matchmaking or solo matchmaking in general. I haven't played for about 2 months now and I'd like to keep it that way

>haven't played in over a year
>only use the client for esports
>game updates 3 times a day because valve is bad at coding

>39hrs in and already 5k mmr
Umm, DOTA babies?

>>388441368
Screenshots or it never happened.

>>388441489
>Be 5-6k
>Make another account
>Calibrate

My friend has over 4k hours and at one point (3k hours or so in) was at a reportedly 200 MMR. That's insane.

>>388435154
You need a 9k+ behavior score and need to play during prime time to get paired with English speakers.

>>388442095
you'd need to get past that "newcomers" gate thing anyway so it's not possible

>>388442350
That's so fucking convoluted for something as simple as playing with people from the same region.

>>388442620
You can buy the battle pass and calibrate int ranked immediately. It's kinda stupid.

>playing dota

I can't think of anything less productive

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>over 200 hours
>2100 SR

>winrate in last 50 matches is 68%
>still in normal skill
What did valve mean by this?

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>>388434782
I am sexually aroused by Tide and Ogre Mage
I don't even play the game just watch gameplay videos they are in
never went as far as masturbating but man I enjoy watching their models as a straight man would enjoy watching a girl's butt

>>388443596
that's fucked up, friend

how do you like cho'gall from hots?

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>1,200 hours played
>no progression in months
Is it me, or the game?

>>388434782
>play 10 games to get MMR measured
>4k
>never touch ranked again

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>play dota for about 3k hours unranked
>friends want to play with me in ranked
>they have like 500h played each
>they constantly whine about enemies picking OP shit, they constantly blame the random allies we get when we're not 5 ppl, they constantly try and "teach" me how to play
>they then want to play CM
>some dumbfuck my 2 friends know is always the captain
>he always drafts the worst shit, never listens to my advice and drafts shit I specifically tell them I can't play well or prefer not to play (i.e. pos1 medusa or some shit when I'm better as pos 2-4 that control the pace of the game and create space for my team)
>they wonder why i don't want to play anymore

>>388443113
And playing other video games is very productive and a valuable use of time?

When I first started playing this game I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, so when I finished my placement matches I got 1k
Eventually over time by playing games and watching guide I understood the fundamentals and details, support, carry, ward placement, pulling, etc.
Unfortunately most American servers are populated by 300 ping, non english speaking huehues and Peruvians
They have absoluetly no concept of communication and team strategy
Most games are just clusterfucks with them choosing heroes that have no synergy or coordination, farming lanes till they get ganked 10 times, then moving to the jungle giving the other team of south americans free time to push

Needless to say I don't play ranked anymore, just use the arcade like overthrow and 10v10, though I still do advocate for Valve to add an optional region locking system

>>388443856
>And playing other video games is very productive and a valuable use of time?

Sure. Playing a bigger number of SP games with actual progress, you experience various stories, various types of game design/mechanics, etc. is far more productive.

For real, with "just" 2000h you could've beaten an insane number of games and played several other MP games.
But you're telling me that only playing Dota and blogposting about russians/peruvians every other day is somehow more productive?

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>>388443596
Why though?
Also Ogre is legally retarded.

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>>388443686
he looks too rough and edgy. Valve managed to make Tide look soft and cute fat while still being lethally threatening. Same for Ogre Mage. It's the tentation of getting close to a dangerous mass of fat and muscle that irradiates with some weird impression of kindness that makes it for me I think. Blizzard is just "agroo groo i will eat you"

>low piro
>two games left
>winning game
>disk drive shits itself on me
>reconnect
>Nobody saw a Abandon, so it's cool, right?
>Win game
>New report: Gotten too many abandons
>Now have to do 5 games
Why do i still play.
Low piro forever, end me.

>>388444169
If Ogre is retarded then why is he an INT hero that calls Invoker a dumbass? Checkmate.

>>388436916
Oh the bight side it's actually one of the few ones that are actually based on the International's theme.

>>388436298
Courier?

>>388436916
I fucking hate the particle shitshows with clashing colors almost every cosmetic has now.

>>388444204
So I'm guessing you're a massive bara fag

>>388444268
Because Carl is a poopyhead.

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>>388443596
>>388444204
funniest thing i've read in a while

>>388444204
Well you'll have to get in line, Tidehunter's preferences are as follows: "Women and children and Kunkka first!".

>>388444580
no just Tide and Ogre Mage models do this to me, big bear guys never did anything. thought I had something for scaly porn too but that's not it either. I hope the dota team never makes another game

just play customs if youre gonna go solo lmao

>>388436916
Most people don't realize that you can push colors to be darker or lighter to the point where they seem very different. That one naga set with the black? That's her green just really dark, the orange is her orange just dark. That staff looks like his green but lighter probably.

>>388443548
It's tied to performance, not win rate I think. I got very high skill after 3 games on my smurf.

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>1200hrs
>2.5k mmr
CM main now, but I used to play the fuck outta Cancer Lancer when he was crazy stupid. Jakiro is fun and so is Axe. Just wish my skill was better and queuing solo wasn't a fuckin crap shoot.

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>>388444486

>250 hours played
>matchmaking starts pairing me with 2K MMR people with over 1000 games
>niggers reported me for being bad at the game IN NORMAL GAMES
>put in low prio
i'm so fucking mad i can't even explain it, fuck this game

>>388445140
You're shooting yourself in the foot by liking such heavily situational or shitty heroes.

Why is /v/ and /vg/ so shit at dota? I played with some people from /vg/ a few times and they were all absolute garbage.

>>388445220
Just stop playing, no matter what people say it never gets better,

>>388445292
Most people are shit at dota. Too many people are close-minded and some don't realize that the way to win is by making sure your team's morale is up so they don't tilt.

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>>388445261
But they're too much fun to play. I don't like picking others because they're not fun, even if the win-rate could be better. Luna is fun as well.

>>388445220
I don't get this shit, why people are allowed to report you for being bad, what the fuck, the system is meant for people to play with other people of similar skill levels, what is this retarded shit

>>388445590
>I don't get this shit, why people are allowed to report you for being bad, what the fuck, the system is meant for people to play with other people of similar skill levels, what is this retarded shit

because the system is entirely automated and leddit (the ones valve listens to) repeatably says that it works as intended and only toxic people complain about it.
besides, valve wouldn't pay for a moderated system anyway.

>>388444251
Jesus fuck welcome to my life i was legit stuck in low prio for 2 weeks before i quit EVERY SINGLE GAME was fucking BRBRBRBRB and fucking non white peices of shit not to mention my PC has a memory leak so dota would freeze on me randomly i just couldent take it and uninstalled 1.5k hrs btw

>>388434782
what the fuck
I calibrated at something like 2.2K mmr after about 300, automatically lost the will to play since getting higher would probably be tedious as shit

>>388444251
>>388445824
Have you considered that you're in low prio for a reason?

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>>388444251
>discover a glitch how to bypass low prio
>keep it to myself
>mention it on /vg/
>people on /vg/ wants to know
>pretty much know what will happen but share it anyway since i was about to stop playing anyway
>almost instantly someone makes a post on ribbit detailing it and asking valve to remove it
>a short time afterwards the glitch is removed, which had otherwise been present for months

Hilarious how big of a cockmongler people that go to ribbit are.

>>388446363
Honestly abandoning the first few games was my fault, but now I'm under increased scuritney, and iirc some reports were how i got in Low Piro.

>>388434782
>2.5k hours played
>3.4K MMR
I know it's not as bad as it could have been considering some hours spend in normal games and arcade but I feel it's still pretty fucking bad. It felt ok at 2K hours but at 2.5, I should be 4K at least.

>>388446363
>Have you considered that you're in low prio for a reason?

Almost every single report is non-legit. People will almost always select feeding or ability misuse over communication abuse (which results in a mute punishment) even though feeding/ability misuse is so extremely rare (when compared to what could be considered communication abuse).
The way you get reported is for simply annoying a player, which generally means talking back, doing things your team doesn't want you to do, etc.

You're kidding yourself if you think the report and punishment system is even remotely working as intended.

>>388446363
Nigger shut the fuck up you will get reported by subhuman spics FOR N O T H I N G

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>>388435717

>>388435325
>mmr is just a number guise

Hello dendi

>>388434782
>800 MMR
literal brain damage tier

>>388435717
ok
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCquAVcKkbA

>>388445165
That's actually somehow more eye rape than the average TF2 unusual. Well done Valve.

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>all these 2k shitstains

>>388446827
getting low prio through reports is hard now. Unless you're a huge cock on purpose i don't see how you're able to get in there.

>>388446363
Nope.
I'VE been sent to low pro because I was once reported by three supports in one game for not buying wards (I was the carry, they were all supports and wouldn't buy wards) and bang, low pro. It's amazing after all these years in development and valve still havnt fixed there report system

>>388447862
I wouldn't know, haven't played Dota in like 2-3 years now.

>>388448053
Haven't been in low prio since changes to reports when they handed them out like candy on halloween. Now i think you're just locked from playing like in cs:go if you get too many.

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>>388434782
But how?
I have 2000 hours and 3500 mmr and I feel like a complete shitter

>>388446827
>Talk shit in the game
>Get reported for communication abuse
>Suffer consequences

How is this a bad thing exactly?

>>388448051
But they have dumbo. Also you needed more than 3 to get low prio.

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>>388439410
>>388435907

I thought I was the only one. I have anxiety issues but I eventually did it, I just muted everyone, both voice and text. Eventually I got "good" or at least good enough that what people say to me don't affect me since I know when its not my fault. I play support and even then I keep to a couple of heroes I feel confident enough playing with.

When people shit talk I just mute them. I don't talk either, chat wheel is good enough I only had to add re-use courier and I'm retreating which are more useful than gg and wp.

Still haven't played ranked, haven't played that cup shit either.

Being afraid of failure is a bitch, I sometimes dream of getting a macjob or a job at a super market but I'm afraid of fucking it up. I've been thinking maybe if I do volunteer jobs where I don't get paid and I can't fuck up maybe it could help me, like bot matches did.

>>388448346
>>Talk shit in the game
>>Get reported for communication abuse
>>Suffer consequences
>How is this a bad thing exactly?

Didn't you read?
I said that the most common thing to be reported for would be communication abuse, which results in a mute punishment.
However most people prefer to instead report these people for either feeding or misusing their abilities, since this will lead to an LPQ punishment.

So not only are people easy on the trigger finger for reporting people, they're misusing the report system which results in sending people that shouldn't be sent to LPQ into LPQ.
These people misusing the report system is the reason why it just doesn't work well.

I mean people on leddit can't even use a basic voting system despite having the instructions slammed in their face every time they hover over the downvote button. So giving people like this so much control is a bad idea.

>>388447862
i've been reported just because i wasn't good at the game and kept trying new heroes and ended up in low prio
>>388448591
i think it takes 10 reports in the last 25 games, which is not much when you're always getting reported by groups of 2-3 people at a time

>>388434989
same here except with 2k hours played. I just have more fun playing against unfair bots than third world people. Even if you get shitty teammates you can get gud and carry, can't do that in russian roulette matchmaking unless you're extremely lucky.

>>388448893
i'm sure all those high mmr players are just extremely lucky

>>388435458
Dota 2 is infuriating to play with real life people. Bots are at least predictable.