Why isn't Samus /fit/ anymore?

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Modern heroines fight using the power of their ass-muscles alone.

samus is a braphog now

>>387411914
I keep insisting that Nintendo should retcon Samus into this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jijv39hHtlo

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>>387412821
>turning samus into shaneequa

>>387413342
Number of triggered /pol/tards: 1

>>387413396
Wew, >we sure arrived in the current year.
Not even going to have a discussion with a drooling tard, but why in the fuck would anyone want to change samus into a negroid or whatever other race, mind fucking boggling.

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>>387411914
My guess is Nintendo made her agree to sex up her an image a bit in exchange for keeping her game series going and/or making her a bigger star. She's clearly always been a bit of an exhibitionist but I think the whole zero-suit, pin-up routine is mostly just her putting on an act.

Frankly I like to believe Samus is mildly autistic, just like me, as it seems to fit her character and would explain her unusual choice of occupation. If that's true, I think it's even more likely her Barbie-doll routine is just something she puts on for the public while privately, she's the same quiet, stoic Samus she ever was.

>>387413732
Feel better now?

>>387411914
I don't know why but Nintendo is extremely desperate to get Metroid to become more popular in Japan, even though it's a series that has always done better in the west. Because of that they've redesigned Samus into a more generic animu girl and started showing her outside of the power suit more and more often.

>>387413931
Because Metroid Prime was western made game
Otherwise the series follows japan trend of increasingly catering to pedos

Report and hide waifu threads

>>387413795
>mildly autistic

I would classify your autism as "extraordinarily severe", Sybb.

>>387414432
I pity people like you who can't escape from the real world for even a moment.

>>387411914
She absolutely should have remained a 7 foot, chiseled amazonian, but the weebs wouldn't like her then.

>>387411914
Might hurt fat peoples feelingz