All rise for the /v/ court...

MY FELLOW /V/EDDITORS.

I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT INKLING

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>>387283306
No lawyer in the world would take this case

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yosho court

>>387283306
Your honor, there's no way my client could have had sex with that inkling. You see, my client was home playing video games on the night of the alleged sex. If you check his steam profile's recent activity, you'll see.

>>387283306
your honor the defendant is a lying fuck

we've seized his external hardrives that he hides in his waifu pillows and extracted gigs and gigs of inkling pornography

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>>387283663
OBJECTION

/v/ never plays video games

You stand accused of playing Undertale.
How do you plea?

>>387283473

lol

>>387283306
Damnit, thad, we've been over this shit before, you agreed to not post on the fucking internet anymore.

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sssss

>>387283663
>>387283768
>>387283787
haha, dig yourself out of this one, lawyer

>>387283787
to add to my statement, here's the list of games the defendant played since the creation of his steam account

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Shit's getting good already.

>>387283821
Not guilty! I let my little sister use my computer one day, and she played it. I didn't even fug her

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>>387283905
but you didnt post anything

>>387283768
Your honor, the alleged "inkling pornography" is nothing more than some drawings. I do believe we live in a country in which drawings are not seen as illegal.
>>387283787
What a brash statement, claiming an entire community doesn't play games. Do you have any evidence to back up that claim?

>>387283967
He's running on hard mode, and the defendant only ever plays jackie chan

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38 Studios vs Rhode Island

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>>387283967
EXACTLY!

There's nothing. in fact...

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>>387284065
HE NEVER HAD A STEAM ACCOUNT IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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MY SON IS EMOTIONALLY TRAUMATIZED OVER THESE THREADS ON /v/ CALLED "/v/ COURT" WHICH ARE CLEARLY AN EXCUSE TO RUIN MY SON'S ONLY PASTTIME.
I CALL MY WITNESS, JAMAL, TO THE STAND TO TESTIFY ABOUT HOW THESE THREADS ARE RUINING HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SON

>>387284065
Did you take into consideration he played THE game?

>>387283768
>Implying he didn't have a magnet next to the door

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>>387284140

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>>387284140
now there's one question that hasn't been answered yet.

why does the defendant lie about having played video games during the time of the crime? isn't it embarrassing to play video games at his age?

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>>387284140
>>387284030
THAT'S IT! I rule in favor of the plaintiff. The defendant is to be charged with possession of underage pornography and engaging in sexual acts with a minor squid
NEXT CASE!

>>387284472
JUSTICE

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>>387284472

>>387284472
ALRIGHT, CASE #469: The people vs Barneyfag.

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>>387284472
AY YO JUDGE BETTEER TO GET MA CASE 'FORE I BUST A CAP IN DIS NIGGA FO PIRATING SKYRIM

>>387284618
Barneyfag did nothing wrong

>>387284618
No one would defend him!

>>387284748
I DINDU NUFFIN

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>>387284618
I think it's high time to provide evidences for this case.

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>>387284618
We need to call the defendant to the stand first.
If only there was some way to make him appear in this thread.

>>387284748
>not Tyrone Howard

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>>387284618
"Barneyfag" is just an alias adopted by multiple people, they are just trying to track down and stop the underground pony porn market

Literally did nothing wrong

>>387284618
>>387284753
>>387284768
>>387285190
>>387285192
>>387285260
way to ruin the thread guys

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>>387284618
Anyone hit and need a lawyer?

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>>387285306
I wonder who is behind this post

>>387283257
OBJEKSHUN