What am I in for?

>>387181572
a lot of staring at a screen waiting

>>387181572
Jailing your brothers for being ambitious cocksuckers

>>387181618
Care to elaborate? Are you saying the game is boring or is it like those mobile "games" where you have to waot x for something to happen?

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incest

>>387181901
Are these two on their period?

>>387181856
If you don't min/max your diplomacy you spend a lot of time waiting for flavor text to pop. But if you take the time to dig into it you can orchestrate events in peace time.

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>>387181572
gay incestual rape sim.

>>387181954
The blood means they are in your dynasty, and the yellow outline means they're closely related.

>>387181954
They're blood related.

>>387181954
Blood relatives.

euro painting simulator

My favourite gsg because it's more than just >>387182139

Just pirate all the DLC, Johan is a piece of shit

>start game
>IMMEDIATELY pledge your heir to the sexiest/smartest/most powerful princess; likewise matrilineal for any daughters
>wait
>mfw their children are potatoes
fuck me,,,

>>387181572

The best grand strategy game ever made

>>387181572
>step 1: borrow from jews
>step 2: expel jews

>>387181572
A game with a step learning curve. The game isn't complicated but there's so much you can do that it can be a bit too much at first.

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>>387181572

>>387182560
They nerfed that actually, you become arbitrary so it's only worth it if you're old.

>>387181572
never trust the germanic and greek jew
learning how the claim system works is the biggest hurdle
it explain it in a nutshell for you
>fabricate on neighbors for single county claims
>marry daughters of nobles for your son to get a claim on his titles
>marry the few women with strong claims so your son inherits it

>>387182683
To answer him though there are lewd mods

>>387182984
You mean wife's son?

>tfw I have been playing EU IV for three years and have owned CK 2 for two
>too lazy to spend a shitload of hours trying to figure out how the game works again
>haven't even mastered EU IV after 800 hours

>>387183184
only if you play in sweden

>>387183363
But they're both pretty easy

>Play Toulouse
>Aquitaine ruler is a young unmarried woman
>marry my first born son to her to inherit both Duchy
>she fucking convinces him to wage war on me for the Toulouse half that he'd inherit anyways

Taught them the value of patience by btfo of my son and his bitch wife.

>>387181572
marrying 18 year old girls and killing your wifes when they hit 45. Also, ally and fast

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I love playing Republics, probably because I have the patience to enjoy downtime inbetween wars,and I love having money. Wish more war strat games had the events and non war fun that CK has.

>>387181901
Are they also fucking the horse?

>>387183836
no, that tab shows that characters lovers. That's just my guy fucking the horse.

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>Looking for wives
>Find woman, 16, strong, genius traits
>Portrait is ugly so I don't marry her

>>387183952
>marry ONE fat girl
>she carries the fat gene for 150 years through my dynasty
Fucking jesus

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>>387183776
A fellow man of taste I see.

>>387183519
>not losing the war then getting yourself killed to inherit both now

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>>387181572
The ultimate cuck simulator
Since way of life I wonder if the kids are actually from my family and my wife actually loves me, just like in real life its better not to know (you can actually know with the console).

You can also cuck other guys, got the Queen and two princess of Denmark pregos after pillaging the shit out of that place (returned the cum dumpsters without asking for money)

>>387184425
>Pick seduction
>Immediately try to fuck My liege/Charlemagne/The byzantine emperors wife

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>>387184425
I'm glad they finally fucking patched it so your wife gets a denying trait so everyone in the fucking kingdom can't keep trying to bang her.

It was getting to the point I was marrying lesbians just to have 1-2 kids I was certain were mine.

>>387182984
This, medieval legal systems were fucking draconian as shit and the Demense system is agony when you finally manage to btfo a powerful neighbor

But also the game is kinda boring. Downloaded a Game or thrones mod to play as Stanis and brighten game play up
Just sacked kings landing, then executed every lannister about 10 minutes after starting. Robb starks army faffed about in the north for another 15 minutes and then he sued for peace out of nowhere to be warden in the north.

>>387181572
The slow realization that Paradox hasn't made a good strategy game since grand strategy 2, and underneath all the goofy game of thrones incest and backstabbing fluff, the core strategy game is about as deep as risk

>>387184689
Well it is more of a role playing gsg than an intelligent gsg

>>387184689

>he core strategy game is about as deep as risk

All paradox games are like this

>tfw to intelligent for grand strategy games

>>387184689
>grand strategy 2
victoria 2 I mean
fucking hell

If you play with the viking expansion it can be a good idea to not help your vassal when paradox interactive give them a visit.

>>387184812
>Victoria 2 is deep

Weeeeeew
Go parrot /gsg/ some more

>>387182560
>Wanting filthy jew money
You disgust me.

>>387185106
t. Medici

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Alright boys, lets save the realm from the cuck rampage

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>playing a duke
>son comes of age, I give him some podunk county so he can get his prestige on, he immediately picks seduction focus
>fucks both of his sisters, the king's wife, and the wives of at least 2 other dukes, and those are just the ones I know of
>dies in a mysterious accident before turning 20

>>387185267
You raised him well

>>387184812
Victoria 2 is great but has some really major issues mechanics wise.

>>387184636
Did you still kill Renly via Shadow Baby?

I am tired of CK2 where your vassals get to vote on succession law. Not just counts, your mayors and barons too. That is way too many people to keep happy.

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>>387185191

damn, my dad just made me hand of the king in 2 seconds

>>387185550
Isn't it just your council?

>>387185550
>He isn't loved by his vassels
Lel I bet your kids aren't even yours

>>387185191
Good luck Rhegar the Chadpion.

Kill that cuck Robert and the Eternal Anglo Lannisters

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>>387185593

ALRIGHTY THEN

>>387185614

Uhmmm I will check. Thanks anon.

>>387185659
The good thing about being a queen is that I am pretty sure it is mine. Wait, I think.

>>387185752
Rev up that wildfire.

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>>387185752

Oh shit

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>>387186005

He tried to let his bodyguard fight me but I killed him

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>>387186104

Ah shit, welp that was quick

To be honest this bookmark is basically random chance, Aerys' host can btfo the rebels quick

>>387186206
did you have the high ground?

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>>387186206

Targ fucking shits BTFO.

>>387181572
EUIV is better.

>>387186404
EU4 is about as shallow as ck2, but doens't have roleplaying. It's shit.

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>guy fucks my concubine
>fuck his wife 2 times
>she gets pregnant
>say no when he asked if i impregnated her
>he believes me
>he's raising "his" daughter now
shouldn't have fucked my woman faggot

>>387186404
I am bored of EU IV. Should I just turn up aggressive expansion so that I can only take 1 territory at a time?

>>387186404
It's not.

>>387186548
I hope you killed the concubine.

>>387186548
>Playing Republic
>Rival has no sons
>stupidly fuck his wife and give him one

I don't know who's the real cuck anymore

>>387186982
But it is your family winning.

I think it is a good thing.

>>387182984
>find king with lots of sons
>betroth/marry youngest to your daughter matrilineal
>King accepts because he's so far out of the line of succession
>kill all his other sons
>kill King
>wait for them to have a son
>kill new king
>your son now owns a kingdom
>????

>>387186548
Victarion pls

>>387185267
Half as long, twice as bright

>>387187041
>go on an assassination spree to try and destabilize an empire
>succeed, it starts having civil wars all the time
>keep killing the people who win
>eventually run into one bitch who has perfect stats and everyone in the empire loves her
>no way to assassinate her
>manage to engage in a horrific war of attrition that causes another civil war
>help the usurper
>he wins
>start the assassination spree again
>eventually kill so many people the perfect bitch takes over again
>manage to capture her in a siege
>rape her into being your loving concubine
It was incredibly cathartic.

>>387181618
If you're staring at a screen waiting then you obviously don't know what you're doing. You should always be plotting to kill someone, for starters. Work on vassal relationships, quell factions, construct stuff in holdings.

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>mfw one dude inherits half of europe

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>>387187539
>mfw one catholic dude accidentally reconquistas spain by inheriting it all

>>387187539
>the Holy Roman Emperor and Byzantine empress marry
>their child inherits both empires

>>387187391
I don't even.

This is CK2 in a nutshell.

>>387185267
>giving your son land
you dun goofed

>be Queen of Bavaria
>go on pilgrimage to Jerusalem
>come back and find out I've been made Queen of East and West Francia due to some bullshit marriages I made 50 ingame years ago
>proceed to make sure I only have one child for a few generations until I'm able to get on primogeniture in all my kingdoms
>due to some secret cult bullshit, every heir was secretly Fraticelli until I took over playing as them and made them swear to be Catholic
>educate grandkids personally because their parents turn Fraticelli sometime in their late teens
>this happens for five+ generations

That was a fun game, but the Fraticelli bullshit pissed me off and I gave up on it.

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>>387187539
>wait for a decadance war to break up the caliphate you're in
>50k dudes spawn
>get their shit kicked in by 20k
>have to wait another 20 years for another chance to secede

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>conquer ireland
>some dude with a claim assembles 10k men
>completely fuck his army and execute him

>>387181572
Some serious NTR

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>get that event where your child is possesed
>she slowly kills off her siblings
>mfw I die and she inherits

>>387188865
Wait until someone assemble a 100K army out of no where.

>>387189171
You got yourself a winner there. She is gonna pull a demon army out of her ass. It will be glorious.

>>387189284
She ended up dying quickly to a disease

>Getting permission to marry a noble princess from her father

William the conqueror wanted to marry a french princess who though she was too good for a literal and figurative bastard like William, so he shoved her off her horse and dragged her around by her hair until she said yes.

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>>387189171
>Ruler is now 60
>Decides he wants to live forever
>Ship in some African mystic
>She turns out to be the genuine article
>Jump through her hoops to become immortal
>She gives me a drink and I die
>Puts my soul into the body of my 0 year old daughter
>Dies from fever a year later

It is ridiculous how well crafted and in depth the Game of Thrones mod is , like if you're a book reader you're rewarded immensely

>>387189668
didn't even get to try the goods, what a shame

>>387189936
Especially since given the nature of CK2 every named character will be dead within an hour of playing.

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>>387184139
>fat gene

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>>387181572
>What am I in for?- 95 posts and 24 image replies shown.
kangs

>>387190107
excuse xir shitlord, did you just assume caloric surplus is the fault of the differently-weighted?!

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>become emperor of scandinavia
>conquer wessex and give it to a relative
>1-2 years later he became king of england
thank god he just became a viceroy

>>387189171
This event is cool but annoying at the same time. The possessed child usually has insane good stats but it's always a daughter, so even once she's in power you have to deal with female ruler penalties and constant factions.

Some fucking nobody relative I married off to an english princess had a grandkid who created the empire of alba with no involvement from me

>>387191353
With a demon child everyone will hate them guaranteed. Being a woman won't change it too much. Just go mustache twirling evil.

>playing as king of naples
>die and daughter inherits, no big deal
>2 years in she dies of childbirth
>now reigning as strong babby girl
>dukes are gonna be pissed better educate her to be a diplomat (old education system)
>she starts getting all the good martial traits
>becomes 20+ martial amazon
>marry second in line to Byzantine throne
>depose emperor and put my husband in charge
>20 years pass, no children, and womb withering away
>get event to fall in love with my cousin who's 16
>successfully cucks my husband and I die giving birth to what else, another girl
>husband dies in war
another infant girl to rule them all

>>387192382
Do you not realize girl rulers get the attraction to female bonus for all male rulers?

It is hella useful.

That and slutting it up with all of your dukes.

>>387188181
>soon after empire collapses into civil war
>arabs try invading but also collapse into shitload of civil wars
>mongols invade and eat everyone

I tried to sow dissent in Arabian lands but it is not working.

>>387186206
>fighting a young robert baratheon
What did you expect?

>>387193661
wat. most people have like a -10 modifier for female rulers and another -10 for female heirs

>>387194249
There's a trait ingame called Attractive. It works on every male.

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>>387183952

>>387194575
>not marrying for huge... tracts of land

>>387194575
Good portrait and race mixing end up with terribad result I found out.

>>387181572
A big clusterfuck of maps, claims and infidelity. Also Saracens.

>>387194643
Sadly, there is no way for you to know if a character has huge tracts of land.

>>387181572
>Everyone in your family but your firstborn heir will hate you
>AI being stupidly aggressive to the point where appeasement doesn't work and treaties are a joke
>Military strats are a joke once you figured out how to abuse terrain tiles or hire a mercenary group for 2 seconds
>Abusing the fuck out of marriage pacts to the point of getting empires to help out your feeble little duchy in a small neighborly feudal war
>The pope calling for needless Crusades
>Send X to go into hiding
>Demense too big

>>387195502
so much wrong here I don't even know where to start

Does anyone have a list of DLC that makes the game feel finished?

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>test that mythos mod
>start as half-giant viking
>magically becomes a full blooded giant
>marry aphrodite because zeus doesn't care
>my characters proceeds to impregnate his concubines 7 times
>finally get a child with aphrodite
>has half-god, giant and other good traits
>he looks like a greek LARPing as a viking

>>387196007
The big expansions up to and including Legacy of Rome are the only ones you need. As far as portrait packs and that sort of thing... just pirate them. Don't encourage Paradox's shameful DLC strategy.

Reminder to report and ignore shitposting.