You and some other anons are placed into Mario 64. Rules are

Rules are simple.
>You are you with just the clothes on your back
>The Mario world is in "real world" levels of detail, but Mario physics still applies to everything but us. For example fish have bones, goombas have wearable hides, you CAN break branches off trees. Enemies leave behind remains, you can dig in the ground, and so on. While the world is in "real" levels of detail, there is still floating shit and magic and stuff like that.
>Goombas bite, but are squishy enough that anons actually can jump on them to kill them.
>No toxic gases or radiant heat in Lethal Lava Land, or else this game is a no-win scenario.
>Powerups do their In game function, but you can choose to carry instead of using them.
>If an angle can be scaled in real life, we can do it, even if Mario can't
>All anons who posted in this thread are teleported in, allowing for teamwork
>All anons are teleported out of a world along with the guy who got the star

Make the water dinosaur my waifu.

Along with what is already said, we move to another game after this. Soon after we finish all the Mario games there are after 64 and conquer the universe, we move to a different franchise.

>>386624232
>>If an angle can be scaled in real life, we can do it, even if Mario can't
huh?
And do anons have mario's physics like jumping and making your limbs bigger when you punch?

>>386624539
They don't make their limbs bigger or his strength, but do have his jumping physics.

>>386624185
I know it's a fun thread anon but we had this thread already and it couldn't even hit bump limit with most people participating.

If we are weary from battle and jump into the water, will surfacing bring us back to full health?

Can we walk up 80' inclines like the towers in shifting sand land?

>>386624762
We can still replenish health through coins and those hearts, but not through means like water.

Can we survive being a few step away from lava without being cooked alive? Because I feel that this would be one of the more hopeless hurdles if we can't. Also, how are we going to throw Bowser into the bombs without Mario's strength?

>>386624952
We don't get burned by lava from being near it, just like Mario, but get killed by contact.

>>386624185
>tfw you get lost in a parallel universe

Is backwards long jumping possible?

We need make shift weapons, like turning the bones of the enemies we kill into spears abd what not. We'll also need to save some of them for eating. Avoid lethal lava land altogether, one slip into lava and we die. We probably can't do Jolly Roger's Bay or wet dry world, on account of the pressure in deep water killing us. Use bob-ombs as artillery, use bullet bills as artillery.

>>386624604
Then how do we beat browser?

>Fit anon manages to climb to the top of the tower through pure skill
>Gets Yoshi
>Comes down
>We end up finding out Yoshi breeds like guppies
>Army of neckbeards, neets, nerds and lards riding dinosaurs
This is going to be fun.

>>386624952

Use bullet bills. The force alone can probably push him into the spikes.

>>386624952
>how are we going to throw Bowser into the bombs without Mario's strength?
I can figure two options:
1) We save up powerups like Metal Hats and use them to fight Bowser
2) We use our sheer numbers to overpower Bowser physically (odds are not great)
3) We weaponize our autism and question Bowser about how his height varies greatly throughout the Mario games until he can't stand us any longer and willingly jumps on the bombs to kill himself

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Can we barter with Bowser? Can we trade a trap anon for Peach?

The issue isn't survival, it's working together. Getting /v/irgins to agree on any plan is almost impossible

>>386625260
We could also make hammers out of some of the underage that we kill by making them metal then pushing them off a cliff, and beat Bowser to death with them and spears made of Goomba teeth.

Can we do a half "a" press?

>>386625354

Depends if Henry is present.

>>386625150
I will scare him away with my nudity. This much body hair would break anyone's will.

>>386625354
You would actually have to be crazy to attempt those half a press things in the world.

Can we build up speed for 12 hours?

>>386624185
Inject my dick with a super shroom. Now my dick is bigger. Now I can suck my own dick. No need to rescue princess.

>>386625354
Nope. Only Pannen can, and he's in here somewhere, unknown, just fucking hiding in the crowd, a god in the middle of the weak.

The solution is to tame enemies. Use them for our own devices.

I'll catch the rabbit ans roast it
Also I'm not going into the ghost level. Fuck you

>>386625403
I have a weird issue with body hair
Like, my chest is VERY hairy but the rest of my body isn't in proportion with it - my legs, arms, armpits, pubes, even facial hair are actually pretty low for a white guy.

But my chest, and my ass are exceedingly hairy. I am 26 and have waxed my chest yearly ever since I was 18, and I still have more chest hair than even some Indian guys I know who have never waxed it.

Also shitting with ass hair is fucking awful.

I will tell Bowser all of these issues and he will immediately commit sudoku

>>386625597

Stop being such a pussy

>>386625531
>Final battle
>Bowser just sitting, waiting in his sky realm
>In a minute, an army emerged from the sky, riding koopa shells, wearing them, and their leader, Pannen, riding on an armor-covered Wiggler
>This is when Bowser knew...
>He was fucked

How are we supposed to know that we have to jump into the paintings?

>>386625597

And I'm not doing lethal lava land. I'm scared shitless of lava

>>386625660
All of us are highly experienced with Mario 64, at least everyone in this thread has played it.

Hwat happens if we shoot ourselves into the air with the cannons?

>Every anon has completed Mario 64
>We end up saving Peach
>Line of NEETs waiting to get kissed
>End up going on vacation to Delfino after
>Army of shadow anons
This would be fun.

>>386625403
>implying he won't burn your degeneracy away
>>386625605
>commit sudoku
leave now

>>386625636

>all the bosses are turned to our side
>Bowser's face when he sees King Bob-omb, Whomp and others in the army

What do we do with traitors?

>>386625936
>End up going for Galaxy not long after
>The first thing Rosalina sees when looking outside not 1 minute after the game starts is a blood-covered Pannen, with Pannen's entire army bumrushing Rosalina

>>386626042
Into the moat

>>386626042
Put them in a cannon and fire them at a certain spot at the castle, there's eventually going to be a big red splat where a wall once was.

do we have multiple lives?

>>386626164
You start off with only one, and can possibly farm lives. You still have the durability of a normal human though, so shit like Chuckyas or those mini toy bulldozers are death signs.

So the way I'm imagining these levels playing out in this scenario, this is basically Lemmings meets Mario 64.

>>386626164
most don't even have a life

>>386626042

Throw them off the top of the castle

>>386626067
>>386626114
>>386626292

Excellent suggestions

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>>386624185
Fuck that feminist cunt...I'm gonna climb that castle, rescue Yoshi and live a happy life with my Dino buddy.

>>386626448
Only the most /fit/ of all anons can climb the castle.

>>386626042
Force them to do the slide stars

>>386626632

That's cruel anon

>One anon goes to Bowser's Castle instantly, knowing Bowser himself is gone and therefore not as well defended
>What happens is a slaughter where he kills thousands of Goombas, Koopas, Shy Guys and more, essentially being our Doomguy
>Now Bowser's forces are heavily weaker

>>386626515

Can't we like invent something to help.us climb? I'm sure a few smart people here could do it.

>>386626515
Pffft...I use my Plumber permit for cleaning out the gutter to get access to the roof. Maintenance bitch!

Can we enslave toads? They have to be useful for something besides standing around

>>386626984
We could use them and train them better.

>>386627054

Perfect

>>386624185
I'd build up speed for a couple hours and then when I see our group of anons passing by I'd wait for them be all lined up so that I can launch myself at them at light speed effectively erasing them from existence. Alternatively I'd turn on everyone the moment I get a hold of the metal cap killing them all off except for trap anon who I'd keep as a sex slave

>>386626984
Rip the mushrooms off their heads and eat them to become larger

the castle has no food
finish the game or starve

>>386626784
Success will be their forgiveness

We still haven't figured out what we're going to do for water levels. The pressure alone will kill us. We can only go so deep

>>386627180

We would all probably have metal caps already, and execute you for treason. This raises a question, how do we weed out traitors? We have to prevent shit like this. We need spies of our own

>>386627223
>Not stomping on a goomba and starting a fire while enjoying a nice grilled mushroom

>>386627268
Metal caps pal. Soon as one runs out we use another.

>>386627363

Alternatively, we could use the toads for food >>386627189

>>386627268
Do we actually have to do the water levels or lava level?

If we just max out stars on other paintings we can skip some.

>>386627416

I hadn't thought of that. Good thinking

>>386627435
I think we have to do dire dire docks to move the sub

When we get to the end, who gets to fuck Peach? How many consecutive gangbang dickings could she take before she drowns in semen?

>>386627571
more importantly
how will the cake be cut

>>386627435

Yeah that's true. We don't have to do all of them, just the safest. What would be the safest levels to attempt? Do you think tiny huge island would be viable? Maybe whomps fortress and some other ones like that

>>386627571
Everybody probably Casca's her while the Toads watch in horror.

>>386627571
>first guy goes to fuck her
>vag is just a texture
>so are mouth and ass
>tits are so sharp they cut his dick

>>386627571

Depends on how tight she is

>Open castle door
>Kick down or break locked doors throughout the castle
>Gather the 70 easiest stars in the 'game' that don't require Mario-tier abilities
>Work together through Bowser's last level
>Anons carefully help eachother take all of the bombs in bowser's final battle while a few distract him
>Hurl 3 at him

>>386627506

This is true. We have no choice but to Bowser's secret sub. We should probably have special teams divided among the the more dangerous levels. Can't have all of us dying at once. Some Brave anons are going to have to volunteer

>>386627796
There is no way we would make it past the second bowser fight. The second he jumps on the platform we would all go flying. And we need the keys to access the balcony so there is no getting around the second fight.

free blowjobs by the secret slide

Question. Can we get multiple stars at once? Or does one star and the level for all of us?

>>386627953
Rules say we can modify/tamper with the world via digging etc, we should be allowed to either kick down or break open every door in Peach's castle which allows us to skip first two Bowser fights

The only things we need to worry about is gathering 70 stars to undo the Endless Staircase and the final areas

i call dibs on fucking king bob-omb

>>386627953
Not if we save some flying caps for that fight

>>386627953

Doesn't it take only one hit to kill him? We should just kill him quickly before he's able to do that. The only other solution I could think of is maybe taking the Condor from the sand level, and use it for flight. Or maybe use the metal cap the way us all down?

>>386628180
You don't seem to get it. We need stars to open those doors.

>make clan
>clan blocks a comfy level like cool cool mountain or bomb omb battlefield
>must pay us certain amount of coins to get in
good base for economics

>>386628261
>Group of people prevent everyone from progressing due to loving their bara lord Bowser by staring at the Boo with the cage inside it

>>386628261

Just don't let some filthy Jew try and swindle us in this economy. Avoiding exploitation is the best way for all of us to survive.

can we bring creatures between worlds? i want to bring all the scuttlebugs into the castle for one big jamboree

>>386628358
I guess, as long as you tame them.

>>386628116
i would say that touching a star teleports you out of the level individually

>>386628261

This is of course assuming everyone will comply with this and not just kill the clan. Or beat the shit out of them in order to get into the level

>Somebody tries to climb a tree
>Their body gets chopped in half by the 2Dness of it
I can already imagine the horror.

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GUYS WAIT A MINUTE.
If Mario logic applies to this, then can't we just dip ourselves in lava and come back as SKELETONS?

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Nigga i got my strap, lez go.
imma shoot ma way tru this booshit.

>>386628481

Okay. If that's the case then we need to send multiple people in levels to collect different stars. This would speed our progress up considerably.

One person should be the collector for the stars. If we all hold them separately we probably won't have enough to move on. Can't have people hoard in them

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You're chilling in BoB when this koopa runs up and slaps your gf's (male) ass. What do?

>>386625428
>Only Pannen can, and he's in here somewhere, unknown, just fucking hiding in the crowd
>anons are trying to figure out how the fuck to get whatever star they're going after
>some autist says he's gonna lean on a wall and take a nap for a while
>he hasn't really done much but pay an inordinate amount of attention to how much everyone is blinking, no one thinks much of it
>an hour later, while our intrepid /v/irgins are still stuck, he just fucking disappears
>somehow they get the star and get booted out of the level
>everyone slowly realizes they have been graced by the presence of the King Autist

If we form a rule to survive, what would it be?
>Anarchy kills us all
>Democracy is impossible
>Get overthrown by totalitarianism
>Communism may be the only way

>>386628837
Democracy, be ruled over by King Bob-Omb
fuck Bob-Omb Buddies

>>386628837

Surviving individually is impossible, so my guess is something like communism would be the only viable option. We need 70 stars in order to progress to the final level, it wouldn't do us any good to have a certain anons with 20 stars and others with like, 2. Some people will try to exploit others, but it wouldn't be to their benefit unless they somehow found a way to get all of the stars. We're not trying to create commercialism, justice system that will lead us all to the end

Being realistic?

/v/ is full of faggots, the first thing they would do when they saw bowser would be trying to suck his dick.

So, what happens once we finish 64? Do we go to Sunshine?

This is kinda unrelated but what is the penalty for losing all your lives in the game? it doesn't seem like there is any, you just start outside again with 4 lives?

Rape

>>386629790
Nothing.