boner farts LOL

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This one guy in New Haven, right? City's burning, people are dying left and right, yada yada yada. This jackhole rushes me with a spoon, haha, a frickin' SPOON! And I'm dying laughing, right? So I scoop out his stupid little eyeballs with it, and his kids are all "WAAAAAAH," and he can't see where he's going and he's bumping into stuff! And oh...I don't know, maybe you had to be there. The moral is:

you're a total bitch

>>386277750
>Game makes a jokes that's actually sort of funny
>I start to laugh
>Remember that the joke was probably written by Anthony Burch
>Laugh dies in my throat
>Suddenly it isn't funny anymore

every time.

xD

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The worst part is that the jokes start funny, but they don't know when to stop and they cease to be funny halfway through.

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ANTHONY BURCH IS A KEK

>>386278482
what does that mean

>>386278201
I don't know why people get so pissy about the writing on Borderlands. It's not like you even listen to it.

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BL2 thread

what was your first run /v/?

>>386278441
While I agree it's annoying that they constantly make every character and dialogue interaction like that. That quest description is great compared to the example one.

>>386278441
>I play Borderlands for the story

>>386278441
If anyone has that old /b/ copypasta from that stupid bitch being the super random evil penguin of doom xDDD... It's like, pretty much the exact paradigm with Gearbox writing. LOL SO RANDOM and WHACKY! it's pathetic.

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Borderlands is a good game if you just want to shoot stuff.

Telltale made a better game about boarderlands then gearbox

Fucking TELLTALE

>>386278695
This. I've played them all and I'm not even sure what the story is about.

>>386279027
Best class

>>386279090
Loaderbot is best bot

>>386279027
>game

Borderlands died when they removed Revolvers

>>386279150
Vaults or something right ? And the vaults have cool shit and Hyperion wants it
I got that from tales from the borderlands

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>>386278482

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HOLY BADASS!!


fuck whoever made this quote

>>386279537
Yeah, magical place has magical shit, bad guy wants to get there, you have to get there first. That's what I got.

>>386279479
Now revolvers will always be a jakobs only weapon.

And to a degree maliwan.

But no more mashers(aside from the stray legendary), its so sad

>>386277750
I mean in context it's a bit funny. Not exactly high brow material, but not entirely stupid.

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>>386280171

B A D A S S
A
D
A
S
S

>>386278903
Greetings, everyone. I am new. (One second – let me get this spork out of the
way.) My name is Katy, but you can call me the Penguin of Doom. (I’m laughing
aloud.) As you can plainly see, my actions have no pattern whatsoever. That is
why I have come here. To meet similarly patternless individuals, such as myself.

I am 13 – mature for my age, however! – and I enjoy watching Invader Zim
with my girlfriend. (I am bisexual. Please approach this subject maturely.)
It is our favorite television show, as it adequately displays stochastic
manners of behavior such as we possess.

She behaves without order – of course – but I wish to meet more individuals
of her and my kind. As the saying goes, “the more, the merrier.”

Ah, it is to laugh. Anyway, I hope to make many friends here, so please
comment freely.

Doom!

That is simply one of many examples of my random actions. Ha, ha. Fare
thee well. I wish you much love and waffles.

Yours,

The Penguin of Doom.

>>386278903
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!
love and waffles,
* ~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*

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>>386280440

>>386278441
That's pretty much the problem with BL2 writing, yes.
And that's it's trying way too hard to be, I don't know, "safe" (for the lack of a better term) in a world of gore and blood. Nobody is actually cold and cruel, except maybe Jack for a few seconds.

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>>386278903
>>386280440
>>386280565
GREETINGS BATTLE BROTHERS I AM NEW. *HOLDS UP BOLTER* MY NAME IS SERGEANT ARGUS BUT YOU CAN CALL ME BATTLE BROTHER. AS YOU CAN SEE I AM VERY LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR. THAT IS WHY I HAVE COME HERE, TO MEET OTHER BATTLE BROTHERS WHO ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR LIKE MYSELF. I AM 127 YEARS OF AGE ( PRAISE THE EMPEROR) I LIKE TO PURGE HERETICS AND XENO SCUM WITH MY BATTLE BROTHERS ( I LOVE MY BATTLE BROTHERS, IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT THEN DEAL WITH IT) IT IS OUR FAVORITE ACTIVITY BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR. ALL MY BATTLE BROTHERS ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR TOO OF COURSE, BUT I WANT TO MEET MORE LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR. LIKE THE EMPEROR ONCE SAID, THE MORE THE MERRIER. I HOPE TO BOND WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR SO JOIN ME IN PRAISE OF THE EMPEROR. FAREWELL.
FOR THE EMPEROR!!!!!!!!! <--- ME PRAISING THE EMPEROR FAREWELL BROTHERS!!
PRAISE THE EMPEROR
- BATTLE BROTHER -

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There is exactly one good Borderlands game.

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>>386280740

>game

>>386279208
And best girl

>>386279208
>>386281097
Gentlemen of supreme taste

Krieg is best character, Zero fags need not apply.

this thread is BADASS

>>386280339
why is that guy from RE5 wearing a wig?

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>>386280565
>>386280440
>>386280734
nice

>>386281882
that took me longer than it should

>>386280728
They're a bunch of mindless scavengers and murderers, but they're well versed in their gender pronouns.

>tried playing Borderlands 2 recently
>had some fun starting out
>then realized how overpowered the Mechromancer class is
>then realized how braindead the enemy AI and design is
And then I dropped it when I got to the Bunker and realized how terrible of a boss fight it was.

>>386280740
Do people who haven't played BL2 like it? It was References: The Game.

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>>386278736
The gunzerker. Kreig was the best though.

>>386278736
Salvador, Charging into enemies guns blazing is pretty fun. I just wished they stopped increasing the level cap, going back and going through the game a third time on a single character just to have the best gear is fucking boring.

>>386281097
>>386281359
Reminder that Anthony made her asexual

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someone up for a new game with comunity patch? add me on steam /IMik0404

>recently replayed BL1 with my bud
>had a great time revisiting all the areas and quests
If you haven't played since around launch you really should pick it up again. It's not that long and it's entertaining the whole way through.

>get to the DLC
>armory
>friend is a completionist and wants to do every quest we get
>I typically drive our vehicle and he gets hammered in the gunner seat
>I'm forced to drive 3000 miles to and from every quest
>want to kill myself
jk I was high and it was actually really enjoyable

>>386284526
DUDE

>>386284729
>implying the DUBE mod doesn't improve every game

>>386284729
WEED

>>386284526
Gunner seat sucks though.

>>386285218
which would explain why he was drinking for the duration of the ride

>>386278736
Zer0, after restarting the game like 5 times after losing interest at the Eridium Blight

Krieg shortly after

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Oh we're doing a shit on Burch circlejerk? Ok

Is there any games with some godd /v/-humor? All these reddit-tier games make me sick.

>>386285896
Pre Sequel was such shit

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>>386278248
Man, fucking this. I am a newfag and played the shit out of Borderlands 2 on PC before ever coming to /v/ and I really enjoyed it. Now my qt lesbian roommate wants to co op on PS4 and I'm trying to catch a character up to hers, but knowing all this shit about Anthony Burch and other memery about Borderlands makes it fucking suck this time around.

>inb4 letting /v/ change your opinion

I don't listen to /v/ most of the time, but Anthony Burch is so much of a faggot and a cuck it's really hard to laugh at the jokes this time knowing he wrote them.

>>386278736
Zer0, because I was into sniping at the time.

>>386283210
>Get to bunker
>Accidentally super-b0re him
>Ow my ears are bleeding also why is he dead already?
Could have gone worse

>>386278736
Zer0. His headshots and crits make him the only character whose attacks actually feel like they have any kind of impact instead of chipping at bullet sponges.

>>386279379
"hold still i will now attempt to murder you."

>>386285896
This attempt at being self-aware had the precisely opposite effect.

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>>386284369
DONT REMIND US OF SUCH THINGS!

MY HEADCANON SAYS SHES A WAIFU.

>>386278736
Salvador first to 50, then Maya. Then same order when the UVHM pack came out to 61. stopped playing a bit after that but recently got back into it and transferred my 360 characters to xbone and have been having fun playing all the stuff I missed out on. Have a 72 Sal, Maya, and Gaige now; gotta work on OP levels. Playing through Borderland 2 again made me really want to play 1 again though since i always enjoyed it more. Sucks it's not included in the Handsome Collection my brother bought

>>386279479
>no more Pestilent Defiler
Fuck what they did to elements in 2, they made it so slag was so fucking necessary that elements themselves barely did what they were meant to do. Design choices like that are why I still like 1 more, despite 2 having better QoL and more content. God I hope 3 is good, it's off to a good start with Burch gone at least

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>>386279479
>revolvers are the only weapon class I truly enjoy
>they butcher them to eternal worthlessness
I fucking hate the guy(s) who made those weapon redesigns for BL2, they ruined it all.

>>386286503
>Letting other peoples opinions ruin your fun
>Letting a writer/creator's jackassery ruin your fun

I couldnt give 2 fucks about anyone involved in the creation of borderlands. Oh? So they're dickbags? So what? The game they made is fun, so who gives a fuck? /v/ hates games because they hate the people who make them. I say fuck all that. If you look closely enough there is some shithead involved in everything you like. Creators do not represent the quality of their creations. Art should be viewed separately from their art, so games should follow suit. I fucking love borderlands, diablo with guns is a great idea. If you happen to disagree, good for you. The good thing about vidya is that its a hobby that it caters to all types.

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Post your favorite weapon and favorite music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkU7RYDGgdA

>>386288838
*artists should be viewed separetly from their art, sorry.

>>386288838
You're right, anon. Now I will go forth and play this game with my qt roommate and then turn her straight again with my glorious cock of justice and good.

>>386278736
Maya with friends, then Gaige and Krieg solo, then Axton with a friend.

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When is Codehunters 4 coming out?

Fuck Gearbox and stop buying their trash

>>386281097
she had no personality.

>>386288838
>its a hobby that it caters to all types.

Check your privilege you CISlord. Stop mansplaining down from your biased patriarchal view. How dare you think that every insane person is equally represented

i thought it was hilarious

>>386286295
Yakuza Zero

>>386290380
The only truly bad thing they've done is ACM. I really don't get the hateboner everyone has for them here.

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>>386279479
>>386288554
>>386288647
https://mentalmars.com/guides/add-mods-borderlands-2/
A BL2 modding community has started to sprout with the recent community balance patch. I found out about it in the last BL2 thread and haven't tried much but if you go to the github you'll see a lot of mods dedicated to turning shitty BL2 weapons into BL1 classics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO3RQI8Se9I

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>>386279379
And Together with Gortys they make a cute couple

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>tfw beat every single Borderlands game and all of their DLC's and even got every single achievement for BL2

These games are so fucking fun that I can get past the bad writing. Hell, its only bad like 40% of the time anyway.

I want BL3 so bad its not even funny. Just fucking release some info on it gearbox you cucks.

>>386279208
That's not Krieg. She is fun, though.

>>386279604
Jesu Christ this made me laugh harder than it has any right to

>>386278201
This guy's delivery was great regardless of the shit writing half the time

>>386277750
Reminder that he is gay because somebody had to be.

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>>386278482
Then I got good news for you kiddo. No matter how bad your day may have been, no matter how many lemons life gives you, at least you're not, and never will be, Anthony Burch.

And that applies to everybody else in this thread too.

>>386279379
>tell it to self-destruct to hold back the bandits because i figure it's just a dumb robot
he makes you regret it for the rest of the game

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>>386277750
Farting boner?
Farting while you have a boner?
Getting a boner because of farting AKA braps?
Farting caused by insertion of a boner into anus or vagina?
Borderlands 2's writing has depth.

>>386278201
I know this isn't gold or anything but this honestly wasn't too bad, at least when compared to some of the other shit in the game.

>>386278736
Axton and then Zero to 50.
Maya, Salvador, then Kreig to 61.
took Sal and Kreig to 72, then OP with Sal.

>>386280740
The one Game that Took Scooter away from us
You know, i just stopped after that, hurt too much too continue
Had it been anyone else, i might have finished it, but he had a special place in my heart

>>386281097
We need more SFM of her that isn't guro or beastshit.

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>>386278201
As shit as almost all the side quest/character writing is, I feel Handsome Jack was a great character who's VA did a great job giving him an appropriate personality.

>>386288897
Favorite Borderlands weapons are Torgue Double Anarchies, favorite in 2 is probably the Slagga, and in TPS I'm not sure since I really haven't played it much at all.

>>386278695
>>386277750
>Game and series tries to get all preachy and shoehorns in all this sjw shit
>Has a character who is a walking Irish stereotype and whose name is an actual slur. (Mick)

That's not just the pot calling the kettle black, it's the pot calling the kettle a nigger and telling it to move to the back of the bus.

>>386294858
>get all preachy and shoehorns in all this sjw shit
hardly. the worst it even does is make characters gay for no reason. you're really blowing that out of proportion

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>check to see if they finally gave krieg back his raving retribution quotes
>they did
I might just replay this piece of shit game

>>386288838
I like you.

>>386291297
>This guy's delivery was great regardless of the shit writing half the time

He improvised a great deal of his lines.

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We still shitting on burch?

>handsome jack
>he's actually ugly as sin

>>386296476
Are you still not tired of beating a dead horse?

>>386278201
it was shit like that horrible speech that made me not like him and swear off the entire series afterwards

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>>386296476
>watched her parents die from slag vitriolage
>went crazy and started making bombs and talking in gibberish
>I'm supposed to find that funny

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>>386288838
I can't stop shitty game design from ruining my fun.

>>386278810
>dude just mute all the sound and turn off the quest entries and subtitles lmao

>>386281882
what animu

>>386288838
>he actually, unironically thinks Borderlands will ever have anywhere near the depth of Diablo
The closest thing to Diablo With Guns is Destiny.

>>386297287
>destiny
>depth
I didn't think blizzdrones defended the activision side of the company, I though they just ignored it.

>>386288897
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAVEtEm4rvY
The first hour or two of Borderlands 1, in Fyrestone and the surrounding area (was it Arid Badlands?), will forever be the peak of the borderlands series

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>>386297406
I said closest. Your only other alternative is The Division which is ayylmao.

I stopped playing Destiny shortly after whatever the third DLC was called. It was decently fun while it lasted, but not good enough to justify 2.

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>>386296879
we're supposed to at this point

>>386286426
i liked the ice weapons and the lasers.

I liked Assault on Dragon Keep

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this boss was a fucking nightmare as psycho

>>386297273
5 centimeters per second

>>386278736
Zer0 melee build. Any other answer didn't have an optimal first experience.

>>386299095
>Badassasarus Rex

>>386299095
B A D A S S
O
S
S

>>386294858
No one cares, paddy.

>>386297287
who tf cares about depth nigga i just want to have fun

>>386284837
LMAO

>>386299095
That boss is a complete piece of shit as any character

>>386291738
nah, nah, nah, it's when your in the bathtub, you fart, the fartbubbles jiggle your balls and you get a boner

>>386278201
You can all be mad about everyone else, especially Lilith and Tiny Tina, but Handsome Jack was by far the best character in the game. Like this, he can get away with this dialogue because he's a legit fucking sociopath and his great voice acting.

2 and TPS were so stupidly retarded.
Fun though.

>>386288838
Well I could write way better and I'm shit

>>386284369
Also that she banged that dude she killed in her recordings. no really look it upThey legit implemented their cuck fetishes into this

Did TPS do anything right? I played about 2 hours of it and got terribly bored and annoyed by it. Mechanics are worse, shooting feels worse, movement feels worse, oxygen shit is tedious, writing is like all the worst from Borderlands 2 except it never fucking ends or has good points, and while the classes have a bit better skill trees with less "Increase Fire Rate 3% per point" shit than Borderlands 2 all of the action skills feel lazy and unimaginative.

God I hope they shape up for 3, don't let the aussies work on it.

>>386292404
???
They did him a mercy in doing that

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>>386303060
>Did TPS do anything right?
The scaling was a little more sane than 2, ice was a pretty good element, and the grinder gives you a reason to pick up low quality shit to make better shit.
It wasn't enough to stop the rest of the game from being boring trash.

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We haven't had a Randy thread in a long time, maybe because last time he was in the spotlight he redeemed himself somewhat
>>386278736
I suffered playing as Zero

Is it still better than Destiny?

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.

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>>386303757
No, because if nothing else Destiny had gameplay that at least had the potential to be enjoyable. That and 100% the dialogue wasn't memes and shitty attempts at jokes.

>>386278736
My first run of Borderlands 2 was with Zer0, and it was an absolute fucking godawful nightmare that I never want to experience ever again.
>Loved the fuck out of the first game
>Mained Mordecai
>Hyped for the sequel (Didn't pay attention to anything about it, didn't really browse /v/ at the time)
>Went into it pretty excited, so that's probably why I was so left down
>The first level is fucking shit
>The entire game is one big slog, and I couldn't stand playing it by the end of it
>That Badass Constructor took me forever to finally kill
>I had absolutely shit weapons because the game fucks you hard in the ass with drops
>Stores are useless and chests are next to nowhere to be seen
>Bloodwing gets fucking killed
>All of the characters are absolute shit and annoying as fuck
>Just wanted it to be over and done with by the end of it

>>386303757
Not even similar games really, but yes. Destiny is literally just a chore simulator, like all games designed as "MMOs". Fun gameplay but that's entirely it. And just knowing that it was Bungie's grand fall from grace makes it all the worse.

>>386304091
Wrong

>>386278736
Zer0, since he looked pretty cool in the trailer and I thought it would kinda be like genji from Overwatch, murdering everything with his katana

boy was I wrong

there's not even a single melee weapon in the game

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>>386303674
>a draw on his desk

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>>386304274
Do yourself a favor and play as Krieg.

>>386278441
I can hear all of this in claptrap's voice, it's uncanny

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>tfw I find this shit funny despite knowing how fucking stupid it is and hating myself for it

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>>386304160
Oh, something else I want to add to this entire rant.
I essentially played Borderlands 2, and the next first person shooter I had played was Bioshock Infinite, and I absolutely loathed both games, so much so, that I'd say they even killed the entire first person shooter genre for me for the longest time. I honestly think it was until Titanfall 1 before I could legitimately enjoy the genre again, and that goes double for Titanfall 2.

>>386304274
>I thought it would kinda be like genji from Overwatch, murdering everything with his katana

Shit, now I can only imagine if Zer0 had Genji's ult instead of that crappy stealth mode

>>386290875

Battleborn.

>>386304091
Yeah, unfortunately they are taking Destiny 2 in that direction and going full Reddit with it.

>>386278736
axton
>tfw open rolands armory chest
>legendary class mod

>>386278736
Melee zer0. It's not viable for long, but once you get that dash and start chasing buzzards in the man it gets real fun. His chain thing is also pretty neat, shame it doesn't do enough damage to reliably 1 shot late game enemies.

>>386292404
The voice actor requested it. His health was becoming too shit to keep playing the role.
He wanted to focus more on writing BL3 anyway, but even now he's finally retired from Gearbox because of his health.

>>386304160
Are you me?
Seriously though fuck them for killing best birb

I hope 3 resembles 1 more than 2.

me and my friends laughed so fucking hard at this holy shit its just so hamfisted and out of left field.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtPwGGhuLvs

AN
OLD
BOYFRIEND
OF
MIND

>>386304252
>And just knowing that it was Bungie's grand fall from grace makes it all the worse.
To be fair, they did sign with activision

>>386291508
im out of the loop, what did he do?

>>386306953
Randy confirmed that 3's tone will be more in line with 1.
I just hope the guns and mechanics are more functional like 1 as well.

>>386307173
one of the most embarrassing cucks ever

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>>386298747
There is nothing wrong with that. Assault on Dragon Keep was an actually great premise and as good as BL2 ever got. The other DLCs ranged from boring to shit AND boring.

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I kind of like the Borderlands games. The writing can be such autistic cringe at a lot of parts tho and that annoys me.

Is Anthony Burch going to be working on BL3? Because I really want this game to at least be semi-enjoyable in terms of writing and would rather he just took the rope now to avoid ruining the game.

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>>386308514
Burch has been gone for a long time.
The original Borderlands lead writer, Mikey Neumann, wrote for BL3 and the next Brothers in Arms game before resigning due to his failing health.

>>386308770
What happened to him specifically? Did he just get booted or leave on his own?

>>386308296
Dragon Keep would've been better without Tina.

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>>386309164
The official story is that he left to work on some show on Hulu.
Last I heard, he joined up with Riot and wrote the dialogue for reworked Galio.

>>386279027

Bane?[\spoiler]

>>386278736
Zer0. i thought he was about using his sword only and doing some sweet karate moves. was gravely dissapointed and switched to Salvador, Gaige and Krieg

>>386278736
Salvador
I had infinity boolet and shot many bad guys. Too bad I had to cheese the endgame. Also no infinity rockets so duel wielding rocket launchers got expensive.

>>386300237
People who have good taste

>>386310129
Get a Sham and a Logan's Gun. Whenever you run out of rockets, just shoot your feet with the Logan's gun to replenish.

>>386310248
Then why do you like Diablo and Destiny?

>>386278201
The only good thing to come from the shitty sequels; maybe Kreig too, I'm still on the fence for him.

>>386291148
What class do you play?

>>386310471
I don't

>>386278736
Siren pre-buff cloud buff (forgot the skill name). God damn it was awful since my dumb ass went support siren. Replaying it with buff cloud she's pretty great.

>>386280740
I regretted my time spent on that after seeing the shit ending.

>Everything about the pre sequel
Could they have made Jack's backstory and motivation any dumber

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>Thoroughly enjoy the gameplay of BL2
>Krieg is 10/10
>Perfect for sinking a lot of time into when I have nothing else to play or do
>Feel like a massive faggot for playing the game because of the memes and dialogue and knowing every hour is being recorded on my Steam account
>Eventually drop it
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURCH

>>386312151
Why are you this insecure?

>>386278248
boner farts was never funny anon

>>386312151
Try not being an insecure bitch
Are you trying to impress your /v/edditor friends? Because they're the only ones that hate the game

>>386304506
I heard scooter

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>>386277750
>play every borderlands game [spoiler/]except 1
>usually play with multiple people
>have fun

tbqh, the best way to enjoy the series is to straight up skip the first one because you won't have any: not muh mordecai/muh browns n'grays/ree they added memes /v/eddit baggage.

>>386278736
Motion/Harmony Maya which obliterated everything

>>386312151
Try making some friends and then play BL2 with them. It'll change your life. Don't let /v/ tell you how to live, brah.

>>386312674
>the best way to enjoy the series is to skip the best one to lower your standards

>>386278736
Commando Axton. Going deep on turret shenanigans was nice.

>>386312674
>I listen to everything /v/ says!! Do I fit in now???

>>386283705
It was the only BL game I played and also the only TT game besides TWD S1 and TWAU that I liked. I got it for "free" from having PS+ so that helped.

>>386278736

Gaige, at first. I liked the idea of having an attack robot to distract while I pick them off. I ended up getting the Handsome Jack edition or something, It had all the content.

I played with my brothers and friends. Friends comments that my super seems really powerful and would just kill everything. My brother later points out the Gaige was advertised as the character to give to your girlfriend when you make her play with you because it is easy mode.

I ended up switching to Maya so I wouldn't be spoiling the fun for everyone else.

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>>386312674
>play 2 first and finish it
>go play 1 because might as well
>have more fun because of linear scaling, no slag, legendaries actually drop, and the guns don't have any retarded gimmicks