Meanwhile on the USG ishimura...

Fuck Dead Space 3

>>386170135
What does fucking a Necromorph feel like?

Why do we lift a giant lump of planet into space rather than just mining it like normal on the surface?

WHO THE FUCK MOVED PENG?

>>386170842
They were bringing it up for spiritual reasons not for mining reasons.

>>386170842
You're fucking fired

>>386170842

Would you like to spend all day in a cramped suit, mining on a barren planet or sit cozy in your station pushing buttons? Because we could let you do that if you want.

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Why is there banging in the vents? Some people need to get sleep.

Hey guys is Tony from HR here just to let you know due to the continued graffiti that has been found around the ship, in particular the ones about 'cutting of their' limbs in afraid to say that until further notice we are going to have to temporarily suspended both Taco Tuesdays and the Month;y Friday Night Shooting Gallery Pot Luck.

What the fuck is wrong wuth these tomatoes?

>>386171549
Retards like to sleep in them to skip work. I do it all the time

>>386171046
Found the scientologist

>>386171216
I would rather be in those shit conditions and finish this shit fast rather than trying to bring the planet up onto the ship

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I never really noticed before, but god damn that is one low-poly spaceship.

>>386172848
it's like you know nothing about space engineering?
How fucking dangerous can be a planet fragment

next thing you'll say is to be afraid of moons

>>386172956
you posted a matte paint brah
unfair comparison

>>386170135

whoever keeps smashing the glass to the SUN machines better fucking stop or I swear to altman I'll beat the fuck out of you

When you're removing a massive portion of a planet's mass, wouldn't you really fuck up it's gravity and orbital trajectory?

>>386171549

ventilation ducts buckle as the temperature changes from air passing through them and the sound carriers

Alright Steve, we're going to need you to move these fifty babies to the cold storage bay.

Hey, if we came out to this planet for a mining operation, why is half of our ship populated by some religious fags who aren't miners, and they don't even work here?

To who ever keeps stasising me and stealing my I will report you.

>Aaltman was a patsy and he never believed unitology bullshit

don't let them feed you lies

I'm not going to die a virgin. I'm gonna try fucking one of those aliens. Wish me luck, guys.

>>386170574
cold and smells like fish

>>386174621
I heard there's one attached to a wall, try with that one.

>>386174350
There is no need to spread such heinous lies about our prophet my friend. You are welcome to visit our chapel anytime to learn the truth.
We even have a special gift for new comers ;)

Dead Space was one of the games I got super immersed in the first hour actually being hesitant and anxious, then I just sprinted through the rest of the game like a normal shooter.

>>386170574
>>386174690
>>386174621

I'd like to see a new "The Thing" movie with a sex scene in it.

>Stick benis in woman
>Try to pull out
>Oh no benis is stuck
>Benis is fused to womans torso. Is this how sex works?
>Woman's legs grow teeth and wrap around body
>felt awesome 10/10 would Thing again

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Security here, we just threw this nerd Engineer down a maintenance shaft and he just started screaming and crying about how claustrophobic he was and all. Shit was so funny. We stood there for awhile listening to this nerd shitting his pants when he just stops and start's saying, "Make us whole, make us whole" over and over

What a cuck, lol.

It is a catchy phrase though and Joe's been repeating it throughout the shift today...

>necromorph pops out of vent on wall
>kill it
>check the vent
>its a small space with no other openings
>so this fucker just turned and then shoved himself in a vent to sleep
>probably popped out cause of all the floating sawblades coming from your weapon

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SUP ISHIFAGS
USM Valor here. We're just about to shockdrive back to Earth so we can slay some sweet EarthGov pussy. You guys having fun with your space rocks?
Later!

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>>386175252

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>>386175252