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Darkest Bread

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File: Skeleton_defender.sprite.defend.png (220KB, 499x620px) Image search: [Google]
Skeleton_defender.sprite.defend.png
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Bone Bulwark here, have a story to tell.

Things used to be simple, we patrolled the halls and the Hamlet fags sent weirdos up here for us to fight. Sometimes it would be uneventful and sometimes those fags would show up carrying candles and fucking rocks for no reason, but lately things have been getting weird.

>Be skelly
>Be patrolling these ruins
>Cultist babes be mirin' my bones
>See a light coming from around the corner
>Those fags from the hamlet must have sent more rubes to die here
>Get into my hiding place with 2 other skellies
>As the light gets closer, we emerge to see...
>1 guy
>They only sent 1 fucking guy
>But he looks wrong, he's wearing some really bulky clothes, like REALLY fucking bulky
>Only upon getting closer do we realise, he's wearing a fuckload of coats and an assortment of capes
>Me and the other skellies collectively wtf as we watch this guy charge us wearing his 50+ fucking coats
>After some initial shock I go in for the first attack
>Miss, oh well
>Second skelly goes in
>Miss
>Bad luck
>Third skelly
>Miss
>Wtf?
>I've seen those jester fuckers slink out of getting hit before, but this guy is like a black man avoiding a job application
>We just collectively start trying to go ham on this guy, but we just can't seem to fucking hit him, he dodges all of our fucking attacks
>Our bones get tired and we start to slow down, but right as we do, the guy suddenly starts firing his fucking flintlock all over the place
>He fucking domes the other 2 skellies
>Decide to gtfo and run away
>He doesn't follow, but I wander the rest of the ruins to find more fucking dead skellies and a shitload of looted chests

Anyone having similar experiences?

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