>girl in voice chat >all the nerds try to impress her

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>girl in voice chat
>all the nerds try to impress her
>I sit back like a cool guy and dont say a word to her
>she meets up with one of the nerds that too initiative and sucks their dick

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>girl in voice chat

>she

>kill her
>all the nerds call you out for being a douchebag
>it was a legit kill, what was i gonna do let her kill me?

women in gaming isnt the problem, its the orbiters

>Gay guy in voice chat
>starts flirting with everyone

>>384458379
hahahahahahahaha

>girl in clan xfire
>shoots teammate in the head during scrim
>call her a bitch
>get kicked by clan leader
>redirect their wordpress blog to lemonparty and change the password
happier days

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>>384458379
This

>>384458379
lol

Hahahaa beta orbiters are best.

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>girl in voice chat
>shit talk her like you do to everyone else

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how do i talk to girls

>>384458492
>Meet gay guy irl
>hes kind of cute
>hes gives me the succ
>he tells everyone in guild
>guild tells server
>server knows me as the gay guy

fuck you, laughing skull. im glad the servers dead now.

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>Girl in rs clan
>gets top rank J U S T by being a girl
>call her and the the leader a bitch and the only reson she is higher rank then me is being a girl
>Ohnoudidnt.jpn
>Leader get so fucking mad at me, calls me a sexist piece of shit.
>Write four fucking blocks of text calling me out .
>The clan is in fucking chaos the mods reports me.
>3 days mute

Fuck you Seer of War

>>384458939
Homewrecker.

>>384459043
also I was kick out of the clan.

200M XP AND THEY GAVE A FCKING GIRL HIGHER RANK THEN ME

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>>384459032
>suck somebody's dick
>proceed to tell everybody you know that you sucked this guy's dick the next day
Do gay people actually do this? What the fuck?

>>384459032
Where do I find cute guys

>Woman exists
>Stupid men react by fucking things up out of desperation and awkwardness
>"Fucking whores ruining things"

Every thread.

>>384458939
How do you sleep at night anon?

>>384459148
>>384459072
Why are you blaming him and not the gf?
It's not his responsibility to be loyal, it's the girl's. If she wants to be a slut and sleep around with other men despite having a boyfriend, that's her fault, not that anon's fault.

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>>384458257
>girl in voice chat
>mute her and everyone who tries to talk to her
not today, dirtbag

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>>384459043
Got cucked by two girls. #rekt

If you get annoyed by men acting on their biological imperative to attract females and reproduce, it's likely because you've opted out of even trying to replicate due to knowing you're a complete failure.

Yeah beta orbiters are cringey and you need everyone to know how cool you are for being above it all, but it's instinct, move the fuck on.

>>384459176
No one is blaming him but he could have not done it or is that to hard for you to comprehend? I guess it is since you would sleep with anyone as long as you had a chance. Its called dignity, honor, and having a concious. Try it.

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>>384458379
This

>>384459223
fuck outta here beta orbiter

>>384459223
lol beta.

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>girls fucks up
>tell her she fucked up
>entire server jumps to her defense and kick me

>>384459072

I haven't wrecked anything that wasn't already completely and utterly fucked and hilariously dysfunctional to begin with.

>>384459148

Never even thought twice about it, it's her decision to cheat, not mine.

>>384459176
>>384459321
Also, its one thing not knowing that she had a bf and another knowing that she does.

>impress her with a videogame
lol this is why you folks are still virgins

>>384459148
I never sleep normie scum

>>384458424

This. Time to bail.

>>384459321
>but he could have not done it
I think you're too caught up in your ideals of "honour and dignity" that you're failing to actually grasp the reality of the situation.
The girl is a whore that will sleep with other men despite having a boyfriend. This is a matter of fact. Now he can choose not to sleep with her because of "muh honour", but then she'll just sleep with some other guy instead since she's already proven to be a slut that'll cheat. In the end, the bf still gets cucked but the anon now misses out on free pussy because of "muh honour".

If the girl is a cheater, she's going to cheat one way or another. Might as well have her cheat with you so you can enjoy free pussy.

>>384459423
Just saying anon, its bad karma. I sleep at night knowing people like you exist only to have an example be made out of you through cosmic justice. Try not to get hit by a bus in the future lmao.

Also, nice rationalizations there.

>>384459003
imagine you were talking to a boy with a feminine penis

>>384458379
I'll take things that never happened for 500 chris

>>384459513
See thats the thing with you sad depraved losers.

>"free pussy is free pussy dawg"

When youve had enough action you get tired of free pussy but im sure youll never understand how that feels. You give women to much power. Simpletons

>>384459546
>karma
>cosmic justice
If believing in stupid shit like that helps you sleep at night, then yeah sure bro more power to you. Muh yin and yang right?

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>>384458257
>14 years old pre-pubescent me playing left 4 dead 2
>adult girl complimenting my good play in voice chat

>>384459740
dumb phoneposter

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>Join random guild teamspeak full of nerds
>Girl tells a story about a friend
>Quip that I don't believe she actually has any friends
>Her beta orbiter goes ballistic at me over banter
>Literally screams "SHE HAS FRIENDS! I'M HER FRIEND" like an autismo
>She's PMing me apologies for his behavior while I laugh my ass off
>In a PM I play offended and tell her I'll only forgive her if she answers yes to my next question
>she agrees
>Ask her on a date in front of everyone
>"Yes."
>Beta orbiter ragequits

Cancelled the date when I found out she was fat though.

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>girls joins server
>she's actually pretty good
>you and her carry the match while the beta virgins are trying to flirt with her

>>384459685
Lmao. What do you believe in anon? I mean sure, what i said could be interpeted that thats what i believe in but i believe in it as much as i believe in luck. Which is close to nil then full faith. Looks like you do have a concious after all. Also what the fuck does karma and yin and yang have to do with each other.

>>384459804
>she was fat
Should've seen that coming

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>Girl (male) in voice chat
>She's stuttering and nervous
>Add her on steam and make her my gf

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>>384459791
>14 years old pre-pubescent

>>384459546

>cosmic justice

Just how deep do you like to bury that spirit crystal in your ass?

>>384459843
Do people still think that any girls other than the fat and autistic ones play vidya?

>>384459865
I was anorexic until 15 and thus basically didn't grow up.
You'll never feel a bigger regret in your life than mine

>>384459843
I foolishly assumed the beta was orbiting her because she was hot rather than her gravitational pull.

>>384459884
I guess however deep your dad puts his dick in you?

>>384459923
isn't male anorexia just /fit/?

>>384459987

So you've an incest fetish that you like to recreate by sticking rocks up your ass?

The fuck is wrong with you man.

>have teammates in game
>try to impress them

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>be socially autistic british guy
>talking with my american friends in voice chat
>girl joins voice chat
>"oh my god are you british say oi mate"
>she takes an interest in me and tries to talk to me
>but i'm autistic and can't maintain the conversation
>tfw she gets the impression that I hate her or something and she stops trying to talk to me and just focuses on my less autistic friends
why are we still here
just to suffer

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>play as a girl character
>everyone starts giving me free shit
Works every time

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>girl in voice chat
>someone makes a raoe joke
>girl was actually raped
>instead of leaving the server she makes a scene

>>384460184
Half of /fit/ is fat fucks and the other half is ottermode
There's none of that "omg their lifestyle is so unhealthy!" professional bodybuilder shit going on
except for the roids

>>384459740
dodged a bullet my man

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>>384459003
More like "how do I talk?"

>>384459176
It's still kind of scummy, but it is about a 20/80 split
the girl is an unfaithful whore
this anon saved the guys in the long run from a terrible relationship

>>384460251
Looks like your projecting there anon and admitted to your dad fondling you. Seek help immediately.

>>384460341
thought he was naked in the thumbnail

>>384459425

It's pretty fucking sexist to imply that a woman isn't capable of making her own decisions.

>>384459342
That's bullshit because I have tried to make my heartrate match the music I listen to and it does not. I even hold my neck to see

>>384459043
post pasta you dumb

>>384460329
I sometimes give shit to girl characters even knowing their dudes, if the character its self looks cute

>>384460674
"Where do you wanna eat tonight?"

"I dunno, I just can't decide."

"How about Chinese then?"

"No I don't want that."

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>>384460310
>Be socially extroverted British guy
>From the south so have that home counties accent Americans love
>Leading the team to victory in RO2
>Women throwing themselves over me
>Never get bullied into saying stupid shit in my accent

Apply yourself.

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>>384459971

>>384459864
Hows her voice?

>>384460674
Umm what? Nice reading comprehension skills you got there.

We all have decisions. You can decide to be either a whores tool or you can not fall for the forbidden fruit. She decided to be am unfaithful whore. Did i lose you again.

>>384460592

>projecting

I don't think you know what that word means.

You literally said the depth to which you insert rocks in your anus is directly proportional to that of my fathers dick in my ass.

You literally have an incest/anal/rock fixation.

>>384460836
almost as good as the succ

>>384460867
He didn't say it's proportional, he said it's equal you fucking faggot

>>384460857

>She decided to be am unfaithful whore.

Jesus christ, we get it, you'r a misogynist, just fuck off already.

>>384460956

>proportional

>corresponding in size or amount to something else.

What's it like to be retarded anon, do the other kids make fun of you?

>>384461098
two variables are proportional if a change in one is always accompanied by a change in the other, and if the changes are always related by use of a constant multiplier. The constant is called the coefficient of proportionality or proportionality constant

>>384460867
If you need to talk to someone about your dad molesting you it cant be me or anyone here. You need to go to therapy.

So your dads dick is far up your ass because i shove rocks far up my ass? Or did you miss the joke where i was hopinf your dad didnt do that because i dont shove rocks up my ass. Rocks or dick. Whats worse you dumbass? Gg.

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>>384461027
>calls someone else a misogynist
>directly states that women are incapable of making decisions

>>384461098
>>384460867
Youre a dumbass anon. Kys.

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>guys who aren't painfully subconscious every second of the day and stand a better chance at getting pussy than you even if they look silly at times as a result

>>384461027
Lmao what? Im mysogonist because of something she did? She cheats and sleeps around but me callimg out is what makes me sexist. Okaaaaaaaaaay.

10/10 b8

>tfw you manage to trigger at least half a dozen different faggots

You lonely betas are too fucking easy

>>384461361
Lmao says the beta commenting for attention. Here is a (you) for you.

>>384459423
She would not have been unfaithful if you had not been there to get your dick sucked.

Therefore it is your fault, and you need to stop enabling whores like this.

It could happen to you one day.

>>384461435

>Lmao

Jesus christ anon.

>>384461027
Holy shit /v/ what's going on

I knew it was shit here but I didn't know it was this bad

>>384461164
Too many big words for the little fella.

>>384461346
>guys who aren't painfully subconscious every second of the day and stand a better chance at getting pussy than you
what

>>384461452

>She would not have been unfaithful if you had not been there to get your dick sucked.

Get a load of this guy.

>>384461578
Don't serve cake to fat people.

>>384461578
>Get a load of this guy
That's what the whore said as well

>>384461452
Their sad perspective is that if it wasnt them it would be someone else. What a pathetic ideology.

>oh no i missed my one chance and someone else took it. How will i ever get a moment like this?

>>384459142
Remove whores and betas, problem solved.

>>384459865
>pre pubescent
>aka before puberty

Im going to give you the smallest benefit of the doubt that you're not actually so fucking retarded that you think everyone starts puberty at the same age

>be girl
>get off on bullying my beta orbiters for defending me
>they keep doing it anyway
???

>>384461648

>Their sad perspective is that if it wasnt them it would be someone else. What a pathetic ideology.

>ideology

Do you even know what half the words you spout fucking mean?

Evidently not.

And it isn't a "sad perspective", that's just life.

>>384461852
It is pretty sad because they're exactly the type of person who probably couldn't hold a marriage together and will end up paying child support single and alone.

>>384461820

You can bully and cuck betas indefinitely.

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>>384461027
all women are thots

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>girl shares her tumblr
>everyone goes quiet and pretends she never even existed

>>384461905

No, they're the sort of people who don't waste their lives with pointless shit like marriage, let alone having children.

>>384461852
Yeah i do actually. Do you not understand how it was used?

Evidently not. The idea of people in society that would take an opportunity just because someone else might take it. What are you trying to prove here you faggot? Seriously why are you awake? Does the shoe fit?

>"a system of ideas and ideals, especially one that forms the basis of economic or political theory and policy."

>>384458379
fuck

>>384461985
>lives with pointless shit

>implying passing on your genes is not the most important thing in life

Nice to know your bloodline will not continue into the next generation. Toodaloo! Tata for now!

>>384460504
I know your pain anon, I know it all too well

>>384461501
Most posters are literally underage.

>>384462087

He said to his jizz as he filled yet another sock.

>>384461463
>being appalled at internet shorthand or lingo

Trying way too hard

>>384459513
Im sure you will lose all your friends quickly.

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>>384461820
>???
>be a girl twitch streamer
>Profit

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>>384462087
>Toodaloo! Tata for now!

>>384462173
Projecting 101
Also,

>implying you cant make more sperm

>>384461463
lmoa

>>384462190
KEK for real tho

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>girl joins the guild
>everyone flirts with her and helps her

>it later turns out to be a guy with a voice changer or a 10 year old kid, causing months of drama

>>384462087
>muh genetic information

How arbitrary

Why does it matter?

No seriously

It's not like you reincarnate yourself or some shit by doing this

It's like leaving a penny under a bridge no one is going to notice after 200 years anyway and eventually it will get buried and absorbed by other shit anyway (i.e. your genes will be almost entirely diluted out through continuous reproduction)

>>384461027
Fuck off you redditard

>>384462436
Terrible analogy anon. Just because your family is trash that doesnt leave any legacy behind doesnt mean everyone is just like you. We are lived through stories and memories that can be passed down.

A penny is a penny.

>>384462591
First off, sick projection, i have quite the affluent blueblood family tyvm

Second off, the penny's value decreases every day

Every day

It literally costs more to make a penny than the value of the penny itself

And another thing, i'm fuckin good at jerking off, okay

Like i can empty my ballsack in an entire day until i literally just start busting nuts that shoot blanks

I can just donate my sperm if i really want to spread my genes, it's more efficient anyway

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>>384459546
>cosmic justice

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I'm so glad I was born a dude so I don't have to deal with people pretending to like me just so they can fuck me. It would be nice to go through life in easy mode but fuck dealing with fake people everywhere you go.

>>384462436
Oh, so you are a nilihist edgelord. How sad!

>subjective interpretation of a life's worth projected out as objective fact
oh boy oh boy same shit different day

>>384462927
Thats one way to tempt the gods into having a bus run your ass over lmao

>>384462925
>>384463087

>>384458981
only way to do it

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>Join guild
>90% women

>>384458257
>Playing Siege
>two guys and a girl using mics
>one dude is pretty chill, girl is pretty chill and friendly, one dude is hyper talkative
>talkative dude keeps dropping sporadic, awkward advances towards the chick
>they're always met by complete silence by her
>this happens multiple times during a couple games
>have to leave due to it getting too weird

He even made a joke and pretended to be sad when she wouldn't respond to him, but it was painfully obvious that he was hyper desperate for her attention and she was trying incredibly hard to be polite without coming off as a flirt.

>>384462990
Being a woman and trying to communicate with a guy without coming across as flirting seems like a nightmare, some dudes will take any attention as affection. It's sad working retail and having a cute waitress come up to buy something and noticing how she's being polite, but she keeps her responses super short and refuses to even come close to making eye contact.

Still, infinitly easier to get laid by someone better looking than you, so I'd imagine it works out overall.

>>384461819

>t. pre-pubescent 17 year old

Starting puberty at 14+ is not normal you dumb fucking freak

>>384464072
Youre a fucking kike

>>384464072
>not normal = doesnt happen

Wew that is impressively low IQ

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>have conversation
>girl starts talking about something totally different
>keep having the same conversation
>"I feel like I am not wanted here..."

What the fuck is wrong with women?

>>384464072
>all this inference

Um, some people start it earlier though?

God, you're retarded

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>>384463296

>Girl in voice chat
>She plays Mercy
Every single time

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>Person on server never talks
>Turns out later they're a grill
>They add me
>Gets really upset that I'm even less of a talker than her
>Unfriends me within 30 mins
Sorry for not wanting to talk to someone just because they're a girl

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>>384464761
>yell for heals
>"I'm cumin, hold on!"

pretty hot senpai

>>384464315
Why are you still on the subject at hand? Are you that boring or are you that retarded you cant get a clue? She doeamt want to hear aboit your faggotry anon.

>>384459003
Talk to them as if fucking them is out of the question.

>>384458257
>girl in voice chat
>everyone tells her to shut up and go back to the game instead of talking about random bullshit

>>384464210
hello fellow /pol/ brother


>>384464380
>>384464293
You're a fucking retard, can't even comprehend simple sentences.

>>384464765
Heh

>>384465005
Depends on genetics and water/food qualities ya daft cunt

>>384458939
dont listen to them, tthats alpha as fuck

>>384461798
Removing betas is higher on the priority list.

Without betas, whores have no incentive to act like whores.

>>384464991
This makes me cum

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>all the beta orbiters try to help her in the game
>I say nothing and just be the best player
>she starts pocketing me and healing only me
>all the betas still trying to make jokes and hit on her, when they clearly arent acting like themselves just by the sound of their voice
>she sends a friend request
>I leave it pending forever

>>384465794
Nice

>>384465794
wow badass anon

>>384466046
Rape is the new "I have a boyfriend"

>Some girl makes a joke about my name in a flirty way
>i make her laugh more
>some guy says something but i ignore him
>he says it's him and his gf
>i say hi girlfriend
>she responds saying hey all happy
>the guy gets mad as fuck at me for not saying hi to him and saying hi gf

I ignored him him the whole game and she ended up adding me on steam

>>384466137
>And then he proceeded to fuck her silly after they logged off the game while anon stayed a virgin

>>384466093
I never cared about getting in their pants though. And it wasn't some gold digging tactic either since they'd usually offer to buy me stuff and not the other way around.

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>>384466046
>girl tells me she was raoed
>put the moves on her

>>384462436
>dude nihilism lmao
>hahaha nothing matters bro everything is pointless

you're not convincing anyone anon

>>384466276
>implying the bf ain't a cuck
Any woman who flirts with another guy while her bf is right there...

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>>384466046
This happened to me in runescape a few times.

>>384459129
In the gas chamber.

>>384466046
>>384466325
been there
girls who are rape victims are too fucking easy

>>384465005
Stfu retard

>>384466537
Hello fellow /pol/ kekistani free inhabitant

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>>384459032
>receiving the succ is gay
I don't understand.

>>384466661
Better watch out Anon, I'll suck your cock and turn you gay.

>>384466661
>sex with a man
>not gay

>>384466407
>>384463048

>explaining the impracticality of one matter means that i think everything else in life is pointless

You retards clearly don't know what nihilism means

But oh, do tell me more, kids

>>384466749
>>384466661

>tfw so lonely would unashamedly fuck a trap silly

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>>384458257
>girl voice in chat
>someone starts saying dumb offensive things to impress her or something
>another person starts going thermo nuclear at her
>another just keeps asking question after question about her life

every time

>>384466451
I too browse /pol/ fellow stormfronter. Praise Kek MAGA xD.

>>384466862
You better cuddle me at least for a little afterwards.

>>384460341
>Wowicons.jpg

>>384466937
I would only cuddle with a Bailey Jay tier trap

>>384466859
if you downplay the primary biological imperative that every single living being shares, and proclaim it to be not important, then there is nothing more to say desu. at this point you're so far gone from any reasonable position that all durther discussion is pointless.
enjoy your empty life

>>384466841
>he thinks getting the succ is the same as having sex
lol imagine being this much of a virgin

>>384466862
I'd fuck a trap or just another dude as long as they're cute enough and I ain't even lonely or gay

>Girl in voice chat
>Everyone hits on her
>It's an 11 year old boy

>>384466920
HAHA XD!!!

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>girl in voice chat
>she's top scoring
>she's giving best calls (uber left, sentry top right, spy soldier, etc)
>check which class she is
>it's not pyro, sniper, or medic
>FUCKING HEAVY
>at one point she yells "If I don't have a medi gun up my ass at all times then I will send everyone of you spam invites to spamming groups"
>laughing my ass off at this point
>berates snipers, "I could headshot more consistently by slamming my nutsack on the mouse, and I don't even have a nutsack.
>we end up winning
>now on defense
>still top scoring as an Engineer
>"I know one of you play Pyro, so pick that mute motherfucker and get a hammer."
>suddenly half the team are pyro and we still win
>check her profile
>7000 hours in TF2
>has barely any play time in "the girl classes"

>>384467010
You're only allowed to fuck traps without being gay if you've previously fucked a real woman

>>384466937
fuck you faggot you dont deserve shit

>>384467076
tf2 is ez in anything but competitive mode

>>384467129
Rude.

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>>384460504
this.
i can't even talk to guys on voice chat let alone girls.

>>384466996
Yes anon, tell me more about how enthralling and tantalizing the prospect of unseen genetic material being handed down for two or three generations is to you


How about the 18 years of responsibility? How about all the money you'll be forced to spend? And the inevitable alimony and child support in this day and age? Invigorating, yes? Oh you must be shivering with excitement!

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>>384458257
>girl in voice chat
>every other guy moves from actual discussion to """advanced memeing"""
>listen to nobody but the girl who barely even talks herself

>girl's a dyke tumblrina
I then realized that nothing of value was lost there

>>384466841
But what's gay about receiving the succ? It's just masturbation, but with another man's mouth.

>>384467402
Stop being a wuss and use your words senpai

>>384458379
>I was that nerd
We've been dating for awhile now

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>halo
>frag doll in voice chat
>can't stop talking about how she's a frag doll
>eventually even her own team can't stand her and deliberately throw games just to kill her over and over again until she rage quits

>>384467472
My daddy taught me how not to rip the skin by using someone else's mouth instead of your own hand

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>girl in voice chat
>it's me
>but nobody believes me because i sound like a 14 year old boy and i'm not gonna attention whore with proof

>>384467672
Post titties instead then

>>384459003
Use your focal cords to produce specific vibrations in air molecules to transmit information to them.

>>384467592
Didn't they disband?

>>384467672
Do you ever think about just taking a bite out of one of your tiddies?

>>384467807
Probably. Wouldn't surprise me.
This was back when they were at their peak.

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>>384467521
I have a retarded accent and massive anxiety. I just pretend my mic is broken so I don't have to talk.

>>384468013
>I just pretend my mic is broken

Nobody has believed this line since 2001

>>384467320
ok

>>384468013
Everyone knows your mic isn't broken and they think less of you for being a liar about it

>>384468076
Why specifically 2001? Did Osama bin laden use that excuse or something?

>>384468145
You know a whole years worth of things happened other than 9/11 in 2001, try to be more creative

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>>384468076
>>384468129
it gets people off my back

>>384468145
PC's/voice chat started getting even more accessible around this point.

>>384466859
>literally le "life is pointless!"
How is the 8th grade going for you?

>>384468013
I just tell them I'm sick but then my mom joins the server and tells me if I'm too sick to talk then i'm too sick for video games

>>384459102
women do this too anon

I used to be Friends with a Girl who was Friends with a Member of a particularly well known Second Life Hacking Group. That Member was also a Girl, and Leader of said Group. Also a Lesbian, since former Friend told me she hit on her a good deal and was very obvious about it all. Friend wasn't Gay though, and actually was absolutely wet for Vinny from that Vinesauce Channel. So much so that that Leader Girl considered hacking his shit, but didn't because that Friend of mine didn't want her to. She ended up blocking me because of me autistically screaming at her out of nowhere to say something to me. I still wonder if she hates me to this very day. Feels Bad Man.

>>384468570
>hacker larpers

>>384468098
Nice retort boot licking queer cunt

>>384467725
>and i'm not gonna attention whore with proof

>>384467818
ya sure. marshmallow-y

>>384468718
It sounds like bullshit, but it is true.

>girl on team
>by far the best player

I've been playing CS:GO a lot lately and this has happened more time than I can count.

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>>384460310
>british but have one of the shittest accents available
>sound like karl pilkington
>often referred to as bald cunt by friends
>any new people we talk to are told that i'm a bald 30-something cunt
>was talking to a girl recently who was convinced i was 40+
imagine being cockblocked before you've even started talking

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>join static in ffxiv
>trying hard mode raids
>girl healer constantly coughs in VERY erotic way
>can't concentrate on mechanics and die a lot

>>384458257
>New girl in video game club
>Get to her first and turn into the chad thundercock of the video game club
>Fuck all the time and now in a long standing relationship w her
>Feels good being this alpha

>Too afraid to interact with girls at all because i think everyone will think i am a beta orbiter
>Also too afraid to interact with them because I feel a bunch of other guys have already approached her, whats so special about me

Who no self esteem at all here?

>>384470118
>coughs in VERY erotic way

Okay, I'll bite. What the fuck does that entail?

>>384470872
*cough feedmepenis cough*

>>384467416
>literally such a brainlet they cant even conceive of meaning or purpose in life beyond baseless hedonism
Lmao dude ur so smart!! you want to share a joint later?

>>384458981
>Cousin is the flame god incarnated
>Constantly talks shit with the enemies
>At some point invites people to TeamSpeak
>One of the enemies actually joins
>Really high voice
>Assume it's just a kid
>Start bashing the kid with questions like why he is still up so late and what his parents think about the stuff he writes to others
>I realize it's a girl and call it out
>My cousin stops for 5 seconds
>Girl tries to use the shock to talk back
>My cousin starts asking her why she isn't in the kitchen and she joined this sausage party of a ts3 channel if she didn't want to suck dick
>she leaves
Weird thing is she still joined our channel from time to time, but stopped when she realised we really didn't care about her being a girl

>girlfriend having her daily online WC3 session
>for once she turns on the mic
>dude she's playing against starts flirting like there's no tomorrow
>he's pretty obviously jerking it instead of actually playing
>switch seats with my girlfriend and continue conversation like nothing happened
>dude angrily mumbles and leaves the game

I think I'll reinstall that game tonight

>>384458257
>playing overwatch with a few friends and randos
>woman logs in, immediately goes into voice chat
>*sigh* "YES, I'm a woman. I would appreciate it if we just played the game and didn't spend the whole match hitting on me."
>no one replies
>game goes on as normal
>she quits halfway through the match

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>>384467416

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>Meet girl in gmod
>She falls in love with me for somereason even though I made jokes about her being a whore
>She has a boyfriend
>She asks me to call her a slut again and starts calling me daddy
>Skype sex a lot
>Breaks it iff with her bf and gets with me
>Meet up twice irl and fuck like animals all night
>Find out she's in love with a guy in her city
>"the distance is tough and he reminds me so much of you"
>Feelsbad.jpeg
>6 months later she calls me and says he abused her and beat her and called her bames and made her feel lile trash
>"C-can we try again?"
>lol fuck off
>Mfw she still sends nudes and is constantly trying to get me back

>>384473079
Nudes or bullshit

>>384473319
She browses 4chan and I don't want to deal with THAT headache

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>>384459342

>listen to mathrock
>tempo and time signature changes multiple times per song
>die because irregular heartbeat is a serious medical condition

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>tfw literally never heard a girl's voice once when playing a game
Are you guys meming or some shit? What games do you play where this shit happens?

>>384473457
overmeme
league of lesbians

>>384458379
fbp

>>384473457
Try Gmod if you want roasties and the occasional decent one. Overwatch, almost every fucking mercy ever. CS:GO there is a ton in silver and MMO's

>>384473457
I've played Counterstrike online for over 10 years and met merely a handful of girls.
It basically never happens.

>>384473640
>Overwatch, almost every fucking mercy ever.

more gays and trannies than real girls

>>384473445
>die because it's all boring wankery
FTFY

>>384473431
Sure she does.

>>384473431
How convenient for you.

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>Girl in chat
>Guys get pissed at eachother for trying to impress her
>No one is though
What

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>>384472671
filthy whore

>>384473457
You need to play games that girls flock to, they're all shit.

>>384468289
they know

>ladychap joins the game
>try to be funny lad and engage banter
>get reported by everyone
>redcoats kick down my door and handcuff me for misogyny
>they arrest my whole family for finding plastic knifes in the kitchen
>mum given to the muslims as a rapetoy
>pop and me are sitting in The Tower waiting for the hanging

>>384464765
How'd you end up adding each other if neither of you talked to one another?

>>384458257
>CSGO
>Girl starts talking
>No one really acknowledge it
>She does crazy good first 5 rounds or so
>Does nothing rest of game
Kinda strange to be honest first time everyone didnt lose thier shit to a girl ive seen in csgo.

>>384467076
>"the girl classes"
>tf2
wat

>>384473431
>>lol fuck off
Wow anon, I didn't think you cared this much about it. After calling her a slut daily that is.

>>384458257
>girl in voice chat
>she's a huge fucking cunt but nobody says shit because she's a girl

Imagine being in one of those rare raid teams that is 90% girls (that are of course all between average and bad) and being one of the couple guys in the group. The girls aren't as chatty, they will sometimes talk dirty, but on the other hand they suck much more than the funny guys would in the usual raid group. You can't say one of the girls is fucking up because they all take it personally and go quiet, then for the rest of the raid you spend every wipe wondering if you're going to get kicked for being mean. There's no comic relief guy there to lighten the mood. It's a bizarre reversal situation.

Then again my friend that brought me into that guild is a total smooth-talker IRL and he had almost every single girl in the raid swooning for him, so I guess it can go both ways. It's just easier for the girl to be seductive because guys are desperate.

In general when dudes try super hard to impress girls it just kinda seems fucking stupid, especially when it works. Its biology though and I should be doing the same thing

You can see the clearcut bs particularly when you know the dude

>>384458475
What game does this happen

>>384458939
>how to get killed 101

>>384459360
>>384459043
>>384458717
>>384458475
>three girls on our team
>other 6 is me and some guys
>young guys
>kids
>it's Call of Duty
>girls have awful kd
>these fucking kids roast them

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>>384458257
>Building a gate way into the subways because I'm a homeless piece of shit and don't want people in my realm
>Random chick walks up to me
>Umm, can you not do that? It's super annoying
>Tell her no and I continue building while saying that it'll be up soon
>She leaves

Being direct with these types is the only way to deal with them, that or just ignore them but that's cringe.

>>384458981
>2 days later
Welcome to our channel series: Tropes vs women

>>384459513
>but then she'll just sleep with some other guy instead
but you don't know that.
>might as well
>free pussy
you must be 18 to use this site
He should have told the boyfriend.
you end whores by removing their source of provision

>>384476536
good. more kids need to act like this. if you want to be treated equally then either deal with the bantz or get good

>>384469997
>prowling for women online with friends
not even once

>>384463948
Sometimes I trully believe this entire site is full of beta retards, Ive never had a problem like this in my life. I just mute idiots and so should you

>>384465794
REAL

>>384476536
this usually happens in shooters

no one wants to carry a worthless shit

>>384473810
he said mathrock not prog metal you fucking idiot

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>try to tell them to shut the fuck up and play the game
>all the beta orbiters lose their shit and white knight the fair maiden in distress
orbiters and smelly bleeding dick receptacles should be thrown into industrial meat grinders

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>playing online game
>give GF mic
>while I play she goes "Wow, you guys sucks" or "Guess it feels bad to get owned by a gurl, huh?"
>laugh at the nerds going apeshit

>>384466046
>Playing dods
>Girl flirting with everyone
>Both teams just flirting with her nonstop and complimenting shit skills
>Im just chilling with my mg42 near base talking with my friend
>She starts shit talking me because i dont answer her
>I just ignore
>Eventually she sends me an invite and I accept for the keks
>We talk and play for a bit but i just ignore flirts
>After a week sends me pics
>A fucking ugly fat trans

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>>384473457
I've met a ton of girls in Guild Wars 2, and I was primarily playing wvw and gvg.
As a notable example, the first guild I joined was led by a usually drunk mom who would yell at her kids who kinda sucked at the game.
The only pug commander on our dying server was a very kind girl who was probably an elementary school teacher irl. Taking care of a large group of random wvw players pretty much requires the same patience as taking care of little kids with limited attention span.
Pic related was an in-game wedding for a couple who just got married irl.
There were enough girls playing that some people thought I was one even if I never said so

>>384468013
What kind of accent

>>384473431
And she's in THIS THREAD RIGHT NOW right?

>>384459003
Just talk to them while making sure you dont be autistic.Be chill.

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>whenever a girl reveals themselves in text chat
>Several people are typing at once

>Girl joins voice chat
>This one desperate as fuck guy always ends up making cringy as fuck sex jokes
>Uncomfortable silence ensues as no one wants to tell him how desperate and cringeworthy he sounds

He does it every single fucking time.

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>>384458257
>Playing a game, enjoying myself
>Beta joins and start riding her coattails
>Immediately start shitting on him due to how sad he is
>He gets extremely defensive and acts as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about
Every time.

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>guy reveals he's gay in voice chat
>everybody starts asking him to post boypussi

every time

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>>384473431
uh huh

>play vidya
>literally never hear a girl in voice chat
>literally never
>probably because girls don't play video games

>>384474086
>>384474125
>>384475752
>>384478972
Fine, just give me a minute to find them.

>playing my first online multiplayer game
>solo to end game because autism
>start getting catfish and gamer girls occasionally trying to get free stuff or carried
>already heard plenty of horror stories about such things so I tell them to cut the bullshit and just tell me what they want
>eventually became able to tell which ones were (most likely) actually female because they would always throw a fit over me trying to cut to the chase even though I was basically saying I don't mind carrying or giving occasional hand outs as long as you just ask and not try to flirt or bullshit

shit was weird

>>384458257
>nerds
get out

>>384458424
>girl on my team in rocket league
>lose
Literally every time a girl announces she's a girl. Not even worth it to play at that point

>>384459043
>Girl is in rs clan
>she's the Clan leaders wife
>has second highest rank
>she's nice so who gives a fuck
>both of them help me with dungeoneering and talk to me on skype
Probably stopped me from killing myself

>>384458257
And you're the only one who doesn't even try you pathethic shit. Get a grip and you too, eventually will get some pussy. It's not that hard faggot

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>Girl in voice chat
>Everyone white knights her
>Bully her just like I bully everyone else in the chat
>She finds out we live close and wants to hang out, she'll pay for food
>Whatever, free food
>5 Years later
>She's my fiancee

I got out played bros

How will I ever recover?

>>384473445
If your still here give me some rec's /mu/ has shit taste i everything that isn't metal. Only thing I've found I liked so far is tera melos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB39MPJFSfM

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>Girl on team
>Be the silent cool guy and literally avoid her
>Login
>Me: Sup guys, nothing much, just going to run my dailies
>Me: (Please don't notice me, Please don't notice me, Please don't notice me)
>Girl: Hey anon we can I join you, pretty please?
fuck fuck fuck! I too nerdy, just go away!

>>384480385
Knock her up, that'll teach her

>>384477472
Except csgo. People whitening all the time. That or the girls are actually good

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>>384461346
>subconscious

>>384458257
I remember this one in red red orchestra 2, there was a girl in the chat, said one thing not even that she was a girl and there was just dead silence in response for 30 seconds.

>>384462436
cuck

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>girl in chat.
>you're the only one not trying to get up her skirt because she's probably a land whale.
>she picks the healer.

Of course.

>>384459102
>>384468529
Aaand this is why virginity.

>>384467416
>being responsible for your own children
>a burden that js a bad thing
Lmao you don't deserve the air you breathe

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>Girl in voice chat
>Playing Mercy

gg

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>>384480485

What name should I give the off spring for a sick punchline though?

>>384480836
>that garish disgrace
>hot
Less is more with the swastika.

>>384468013
>I have a retarded accent

Retarded accents are cute, just start talking anon, almost no one is going to hate you for having an accent.

I used to have a speech impediment as a teenager, I was always worried people would hate hearing my voice because of it but when I actually started talking to people no one ever cared about it.

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>playing overwatch with my roommate
>fucking around in total mayhem trying to get lootboxes and waste time
>find a game with an obnoxious Gurl Gamer and her beta male army
>me and roommate are trying to push but they're all sitting in spawn doing emotes while she tries her hardest to be likable and funny
>eventually I understandably my spaghetti upestti
>Get on the mic and start calling the bitch a fat skank amongst other things
> betas get angry so I start insulting them like a stereotypical football player, telling them I'm going to stuff them in lockers and shit like that
>friend and I have a hearty laugh and go get some fast food
I found that insulting people like an 80's high school movie villain is always good for some solid bants

>>384480857
Your least favorite vidya character of the same sex as the baby
Actually human names, please

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>>384467010
>>384467121

>>384480836
>Grey hair

Disgusting.

Girls are gay.

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>>384481218
What about guys.

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>>384480998
>Retarded accents are cute
lolno
Can't say the same since I'm a spanish speaker but god forbids you're a peruvian, cuban, chilean or argie out of your country. You're gonna get mocked to hell and back as you should regardless whenether or not the other person actually likes it.

protip is to git gud with the banter and either keep the joke going for a bit or throw it back at em in a playful manner.

>>384481039
fuck off

>>384481358
chilean guys are top tier cute though

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>>384481410
Faggot

>>384481009
>playing overwatch

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>>384481021

Do robots count?

>>384481009
i do that all the time. i usually combo it with obnoxiously hitting on the girl like "shut the fuck up nerds im tryin to get my dick sucked here keep squeaking at me and ill give you a swirlie"

>>384460310
>Fetishizing an accent
How problematic :/ I would have hated her too, anon

>>384481586
I'm not gay though

>>384480404

Check out Pretend. Not the same guy, but the only math rock I dig is Pretend and Terras Melos.

>>384467736
This

>>384481657
Only if their name isn't a string of letters and numbers.

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>>384481439
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY3c6WGsJlI
As anything voice related it depends on whenether or not the actual voice is any good.

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>>384480429
anon,if you good boy she gives vajin to you.
make sexy time