Would you win a battle against Samus?

Report and hide these asinine waifu threads.

no? I don't think any of us fat beta losers could win a battle against her or any hero-like character for that matter

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>>384396427
Easily.

I know her weakness, after all.

>>384396523
Are you so fat and out of shape you can't even defeat a girl who looks like that?

>>384396427

I'd hire a high school freshman football team to back me up. You're probably wondering what boys aged 14-15 could do against the galaxy's greatest bounty hunter, well you see I'd give them all a pill that increases sexual aggression by approximately 1000%

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>>384396427
Easily.

>>384397058
How would you do it?

>>384396668
Nigger, is Samus. She is able to kick the wall to jump several meters, continuously. Not even olympic athletes have both the strength and dexterity that Samus has.

>>384397339
Nope I'm pretty sure Samus is white

>>384397320
I'd show her my nipple hair.

>>384396427
yeah and then i'll fuck her

>>384396427
>physical

She would lose to dick

>>384397339
She doesn't look strong at all to me in that pic. I would be able to beat her down easily.

I mean if assuming she fights like she does in the games I'm not sure many people could beat her.

Realistically though she's a girl and I'm a 6'2 Marine. I'd choke slam the fuck out of her.

I'm not stupid enough to try fighting Samus. I would, however, offer to buy her a beer.

>>384397648
>I'm a 6'2 Marine

No you aren't.

>>384397575

She's half magic space bird. Physically speaking she's Captain America x10 without the suit.

>>384398184
No she's not. Look at that body, does that look like a tough, strong body to you?

>samus
>challenging
Just wear a captain Adam mask and call it a day

>>384397648
You have to assume she has the magical bird DNA.
In that case, yeah she supersoilder strong, no human can compete.

I know a bit of boxing and I'm 6'5. Normally this would be an instant win, but Samus is 6'3 and (I'm guessing) knows some kind of unarmed self defense, except is probably highly trained, while I just learned basics at high school level practice. I'm pretty sure I still lose, but at least it won't be as pathetically one sided as most of the overweight/scrawny neckbeards in this thread.

>>384396427
Even she can't win against the dick

>>384396427
I'd lose with a boner the whole fight.

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If there was no reward then absolutely

If I get to fuck her if I win I would destroy her.

Ha ha can you imagine losing to her and being pinned with her sweaty cameltoe on your groin haha

>>384396427
Even without the suit she has a alien DNA and is crazy strong, fast, and skilled.
Honestly among regular, unaided humans it would take someone truly exceptional to have a chance, maybe Bruce Lee could have a go.
Nobody on /v/ would last 30 seconds.

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>it's a Sybb thread

Someday /v/ will stop being retarded and just report this shit. Today is not that day apparently.

>>384398312
can you wall jump up a 15 story building?

>>384398009
>people with jobs dont browse /v/
This is how you sound

>>384396427
She's a girl, so yeah.

>>384396427
Nope

>>384398976
Ha ha what if she ended up sitting on your face to pin you during the fight haha

>>384396427

BRAAAAAP

>>384396427
Solid Snake is the only one who capable to had a good fight with her.
Also, Snake x Samus best ship in the world

probably not
id just whip out my dick and start masturbating on the spot hoping she either gets disgusted and walks away or has sex with me
considering the unlikelihood of the both options id probably get the shit kicked out of me, but an anon can dream, can't he?

Would I beat a trained killer & galactic bounty hunter in supreme physical shape? No, fuck off with your garbage thread mate
>>384396513
This

>>384396427
>out of shape virgins
>winning against a genetically modified super soldier

if your answer is anything but an honest no, you are either trolling, or retarded

My strategy would be to distract her by giving her a kiss on her lips and if that is successful then I would hug her

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>>384400469

>>384398009
How would you like me to prove it to you? That's not really that impressive of a feat.

>>384399480
Why would you waste your life here if you had something productive to do instead?

>>384400937
Life is boring even for people with jobs anon.

>>384397648
She's a 6'3 Space bounty hunter, manlet

>>384396427
She's a freakish 6'3 alien bird person so probably not. If I'm lucky I might be able to get a handful of her ass before I die though.

>>384396427
no, because i would be too busy trying to make her butt fall on my face

>>384398312

What part of magic space bird aren't you getting?

>>384396427
I would give her a hug and tell it's not her fault.

>>384396427
Samus is a superhuman, she would rip your head clean off your body or punch a hole in your chest.

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>a random woman
>beating any man

>>384396427
>Do you think you would defeat her in a physical battle?
No, but I would attempt to fight her anyways and attempt to taunt and provoke her just so she'd bully me

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>>384399598
Looks like she beat him.

What are the best Metroidvania games on steam? I've already played Hollow Knight and Guacamelee, I want more to tide me over until September

>>384396427
I'm in constant amazement at dat ass. How can a Nintendo character have an ass quite like that?

>>384400937
Live in Okinawa on base and it's boring as hell.