>brb smoke break

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>brb shower
>last online: 65 million years ago

>"brb kid is crying"
>mic is left on
>hear running, then some loud noises
>the crying suddenly stops

>>383876286
>"brb bank heist"
>hear guns and screaming
>sirens and PUT IT IN THE BAG
>last online: 1 second ago

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>finish match
>ready to queue again
>friend says "brb"
>gone for half an hour, we waited
>sorry guys gotta go

>(barely audible) "Steve, I need your report"
>"gimme a sec just need to defeat this boss"
>hear loud noises
>"okay I'm ready to go"

>>383876286
is that dog ok?

>brb house is on fire
>last online 200 days ago

j-just let me know you're ok

>>383877142
It's photoshopped. The original was the dog eating a scorpion and it got stung. It's fine now.

>>383877304
thanks anon, I was getting worried

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>"okay ready, creating the quest"
>enter quest lobby right away
>hit ready button
>wait for friend who just created the quest to be ready too
>talk to him but he's not responding
>even an hour later he's just sitting there at the quest's entrance
>later found out he fell asleep

>guys left with mic still on
>suddenly he start fucking his gf

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>>383877452
>guy left his mic on
>jerks off
>everybody in the group gives him shit for it
>he slowly stops talking to us
>last I checked he blocked me
I remember him being pretty alright, while he wasn't super great at getting his point across it was fun trying to guess what he meant when he said some stupid shit.

>>383877660

LOL thats beyond beta, thats some omega shit

People gotta learn to laugh at themselves a bit

>>383876286
>In a discord with a friend last year
>"be right back gotta hear this"
>30 minutes
>"you're still here??"

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>>383877374
>be playing dota late at night with friends
>boring as fuck match, both sides turtling
>fall asleep waiting to respawn after dying
>we lose
>wake up the next day and they ask me what happened
>don't even remember the match until they mention it to me

>low player count game
>finally a lobby fills
>host is AFK
>week later, it's still up perpetually in lobby

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>"Hey sorry guys my anxiety is acting up"

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>brb kids are hungry

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>"Well, looks like I have to go fellas, the missus has arrived ;)"

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>hold down the push to talk key
>burp
>release key

>>383881324
absolute madman

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>>383881324

>he holds the key to laugh

>>383881576
It's pretty awkward if someone posts or does something funny and everyone is dead silent but actually laughing.

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>find out someone in guild is a girl
>start beta orbiting her

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>>383877660
>using voice activation

>>383876286
SMASHED

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>>383881823