Bad Game Reviews

>The worst game reviews you have ever read
all of them

>>382655396
Every single one of them post-2005.
Every single one.

People comparing crash to dark souls have not played a game released before the year 2000
Literally every game had a difficult middle section back then in order to ensure that you cant beat it in one rental cycle.

The monkey stage in Lion King was literally added just because of this.

File: 1479667796085.jpg (48KB, 512x384px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 512x384px

>>382655396

I mean I guess it makes sense, comparing them to the relevant hard games of the time. It is kind of infuriating to people that have gamed for a long time though. The only really hard part of dark souls was ornstein and smough btw

>>382655396
Why is this game being reviewd as a balls to the wall hard. worse then so and so hard game. i'll admit the crash games are tough but its mostly from falling into pits because of not so tight controls. thats it really everything else is a simple muscle memory like any other game.

File: Capture.png (114KB, 642x692px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 642x692px

Anyone who gives Skylanders a positive review.

File: 1489068096766.jpg (81KB, 400x300px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 400x300px

>that joystiq reviewer that refused to give nier a rating because he couldn't follow a red x on a map to the correct fishing spot

Remember you guys actively enabled this by banning gamergate from 4chan

>>382655551
Most modern games are harder than Dark Souls if you play them on the hardest difficulty though, it's just that no journalist will ever do that

File: hqdefault.jpg (17KB, 246x138px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 246x138px

This guy's review of Friday the 13th: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vxuNByegXo
>clickbait thumbnail, for a game review
>11 minutes of him repeating himself
>Not much of a review as it is a strategy guide
>It sounds like he has a massive cock in his throat
>No charisma
But he must be doing something right if he has 95 thousand subs.

>>382655396
Gamespot's Alien Resurrection review from 2000. It is the world record on getting things wrong.

>Complaints about how the dual analog control scheme was terrible, never mind that it would become the standard for every single console FPS from then onwards
>Tells you to give it a pass and wait for Aliens Colonial Marines.

This guys Shovel Knight review
https://gamebias.wordpress.com/2014/07/02/digging-past-the-hype/

>Uses Wordpress
>Played Shovel Knight on the 2DS
> "Shovel Knight has received a lot of good press for borrowing a little, as opposed to a lot, from Dark Souls"
Here we go
>" Instead of having a lives system, Shovel Knight has checkpoints in main stages that sort of work like the campfires in Dark Souls"
So many games have used a checkpoint system before Dark Souls.
> Furthermore, you can exit any stage, regardless of whether you’ve beaten it, through a menu.
Yeah, but you lose all your progress on that stage
>He has a comment section
He didn't even bring up the fact that Buttbutt existed

>>382656017
It's IGN, you can't take them seriously. I mean, they gave Banjo Kazooie Nuts N Bolts almost a fucking 8.

>>382656097
>mods ban gamergate
>flood of stupid morons like this poster flock to /v/ for the drama

Sad but true

>>382655551

Yes that's a good point.

I remember old Sonic games being nightmarishly hard as well as a lot of other old NES and Sega games.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjyWXiZrSlQ

There are probably worse ones, but this is always the first review that comes to mind.

>>382658091
>I remember old Sonic games being nightmarishly hard
They never were except for one or two specific stages on each game and that's all.

>>382655396
Any bed video reviews? I've got the attention span of a

The dark souls of persona.

File: 1442559058292.jpg (99KB, 632x492px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 632x492px

>>382658091
>that ostrich ride

women, am I right

>>382658237

The one that springs to mind is the original sonic 2 where you had to collect a gem in the clouds. I think every 2nd level or something had a gem hidden somewhere. And at the end you fight supersonic(?) if you get them all. The first blood was an emu or something. I remember that game being hard but not crash.

File: 1483051997582.jpg (62KB, 567x736px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 567x736px

>>382658440
Fuck, meant for
>>382655551

Sorry.

>>382658137
Was it IGN or Gamespot who did the review of Sonic Lost World where it looked like they were playing badly on purpose to make the game look worse than it was?

>>382655396
>reading reviews

Sheep

>>382656161
Artificial difficulty isn't the same as real difficulty, dingus.

>>382658339

>All those reviews complaining about no social links

Between modern reviews and the fact literal shit like Gogglebox is allowed to air, people should pass some form of aptitude test before they can spew their retarded opinions