Bad descriptions of video games

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Racially confused lunatic yells at lizards, and it's really really cold

>>382314413
Ric Flair murders Sting

Actually a really obvious description if you've played the game from start to finish, but likely NOBODY would be able to tell the game if they hadn't played it.

You hunt beasts and ayylmaos, all the while making PClucks seethe. What game am I thinking of /v/?

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Kid meets nigger, turns out he is a dependable father-figure. Must be the apocalypse.

So, like, you play as this cop who kills a lot of gangsters, but then like he got captured by a really old woman who gives him drugs, and he gets drugged and dreams some weird shit, and then he wakes up and kills more people, but then he's also like this DEA guy who investigates drugs so the woman drugged him with the drug he's supposed to investigate, and he befriends a Russian bad guy who's a good guy to him for stealing a boat back to the Russian bad guy, and he also has a friend who is a drug investigator who dies because of mafia, but not really since everything is a conspiracy from the government and the old woman is the real bad guy not the Russian or the mafia.
You also play like it's the Matrix, so you get to not get hit by bullets by slowing down the world.

Guy with mask wants money

>>382314839
Max Payne 2

Kill your old boss

You travel to a place you've never been, help people who become friends and join your cause, tackle hardships together as a team, level up and equip some stuff, then beat a final boss by harnessing the power of friendship and the encouragement of the people you met along your journey.

>>382315181
Any game from the JRPG genre.

>>382314413
>Dragon steals your heart, go get it.
>Some guy calls you and tells you to kill people, you go do it.
>Kill monster, wear it, kill bigger monster.
>You become a vampire, go ruin everything

Infant enslaves all wildlife in the area, makes animals fight each other to death. Changes identity, moves onto next area.

>>382314413
Clown harasses cat and kills his family.

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>>382314413
you are REALLY upset because you got your car stolen for the xth time so you go beat up australians

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You're a sandnigger and you have to behave like one.

you kill stuff

>>382315389
dragons dogma

you break laws
and make an over saturated attempt to compete with overwatch and all of these other shit ass hero shooters

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The Dark Souls of Persona

>>382320856
Agents of Mayhem?

newfound irish friend attempts to take remake the world and murder your friends

you become a door at the end

The baby died

>>382314413
I wish I had a controller coming out of my brain so I could control myself.

You escape from a slavery industry, become a Messiah with God powers, blow up the industry with your farts.

You wake up in a forest and try to find out who you are through weird dreams, in the end you force the final boss to destroy a meteor.

>>382320856
Law Obeyers

you run, drive and fly around some south american shithole and kill dudes who think they're ISIS

Tribal nigger looking for a gay device until the government steals all of Detroit(home), now the tribal has to blow up the government

You wiggle sicks and smash buttons on a controller and stuff happens on a screen

>>382323773
Any Wii game.