Meanwhile, on board the USG /v/shimura.....

There's something in the vents!

And it's offering me great deals on Bethesda games! I think I'm going to go check it out.

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Twinkle, twinkle little star...

Air quality on this ship fucking sucks, there's always this weird brown dust shit coming out of the ventilation and it gets everywhere. When the hell is Engineering going to get off their fat asses and fix it?

>stasised my boss again
This shit never gets old.

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>>381884068
Hey engineering, this is a message from security would you cunts stop turning your power tolls into weapons?
Your gonna cut someone arm off if you keep messing around with that shit.
And you idiots die using the force gun I wont weep for you.
Knock that shit off now.

>>381884262
NO! Don't get caught by the Toddmorph!

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>>381884262

>TFW Dead Space could've been System Shock 3
Though I still enjoyed DS 2 and 3, but I'm just hankering for an SS 3

>>381884471
IF YOU WANT OUR WEAPONIZED PLASMA CUTTERS COME TAKE THEM!

DON'T TREAD ON ME!

t. engineering

>>381884364
This is Engineering we would clean the vents is maybe we got higher pay?
I mean we pretty much keep this ship alive and are pay is shit.
Fuck it for now on Engineering ain't doing shit till we get a pay as good as crew deck.

>>381884564
I honestly don't care System Shock is great but Dead Space is my favourite game of all time and wouldn't trade it for the world.

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I'm putting in for a transfer to the Event Horizon
Anybody wanna come with me?

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trips and i bomb the fucking ship with everyone onboard

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URGH
DIE
FUCK
SHIT
AUGH

>>381884576
What about hydroponics? Those stoner fucks just hang around smoking all day

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>in space no one can check your dubs

>about to record an audio log

What's the point of doing these again? I know it's protocol but we all know admins don't listen to these shits.

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Hey fellas! Have you heard the good news of Altman yet? Stick around for a minute and let me reveal the joyous truth of your own latent potential!

WHOEVER KEEPS RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE CREW DECK WITH FUCKING CLOWN SHOES ON I'M GONNA FUCK YOUR GODDAMN ASSHOLE WIDE OPEN

>>381884320
Lord of the Yen is the first that comes to mind.

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BALAUGUGHGRAOARUUGGGHHAAAAHHHHH

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>>381884971
>Unifags
I got your convergence right here motherfucker

>>381884712
DO YOU SEE

>>381885080
Ted, is that you?
I told you not to go near those bootleg supplies from Medical

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>>381885080
What the...I thought we fucking fired you! why are you back here Tony?

>>381885228
What I see is a chance to get off this damn rustbucket and serve on a ship that's actually going places

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Can anyone explain why is this guy just hanging around near the watermelons in hydroponics?

>>381884758
I think we need to get you a chill pill Isaac.

>>381885373
Even in space pol tards still exist.

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>>381885230
>>381885298
HHHHUUURRRRFFHHFAFSHFDHKKKKK
PEE ESS THREESSSSKKKKK
HAS NOOO GGAAAAAYYYMMMESSS

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>>381885461
Oh, he's just asking to be airlocked now

>>381885461
In space no can here you meme....

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>>381885527
Airlocked you say?

Hey did anyone see that guy walking around with a foam finger yelling BANG BANG BANG at things? I know shit gets a little weird and boring up here but for christ's sake he was off his rocker

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SUP ISHIFAGS
USM Valor here. We're just about to shockdrive back to Earth, slay some sweet EarthGov pussy. Have fun playing in the dirt asswipes!

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>>381885389

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Heya fags.
USG O'Bannon here.
Hope you enjoy those unitologist retards aboard your pile of scrap.
Anyway, just dropping by to tell you that we plowed all moon colonies and even some asteroid mines so you're pretty much cucked forever unless you manage to leave this sector on this putrid mistake of engineering you call a ship.
O'Bannon out.

ayo hol up can we talk about the bonus situation?

>>381886973
Nobody gets their god damned bonuses until we haul this Marker back to Earthgov, so shut the FUCK up and get to work

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>>381884262
SKREEEEEEE

Niggers,

Please stop burning candles in the mess hall, I have to clean your weird shit up

Thanks,

thankless janitor.

>>381887492
The candles are necessary for Convergence. We will not stop, apologies.

Imagine the dialogue if Ned Flanders was a unitologist.

Who keeps writing weird cult shit all over the walls? When did we even get this much chalk? Is it Dave? I bet it was Dave. Dave, if you're ITT I'm going to find you and fuck you up.

Hey guys, Im the new intern in Medical. Just got here from the last port call.

Can someone tell me why we have a gigantic stock of babies in suspension here? I checked the records, and only half of these things are registered to on-board couples.
I keep asking my superiors but they just smirk at me and say something cryptic like "You'll join the party soon newblood" or "Your not ready for the flesh, but soon youngling, soon"

Honestly, Im getting scared. And my nightmares about being "one and whole" with other people isnt helping

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>>381884068
Still my favorite vidya starship

>>381888057
>Can someone tell me why we have a gigantic stock of babies in suspension here? I checked the records, and only half of these things are registered to on-board couples.
money is money, man, and hauling space rocks alone doesn't pay. just don't think about it. it's easier.

>>381887313
>cut off their lies!

>>381888108
Source, anon? Please?

Can someone explain why it's worded like meanwhile on X /v/?

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So...why can I hear birds and monkeys in hydroponics?
Do we have monkeys in there? why do we have those?

>>381884712
>the Event Horizon
You're an idiot

>>381884471
Only if you people would let us fire guns in the range. And for the record shooting random planetoid junk counts as mining.

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Be honest /v/ if there were no alien monsters would you work on the Ishimura?

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>>381884068
Trying to sleep would you all SHUT UP !

>>381885063
Don't know who the fuck is doing that, but just kick their ass.

>>381885080
DRUNK ASS !

>>381888441
The filename

>>381888594
>what are speakers

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>>381888773
Oh...now I feel dumb.

>>381888718
Why not? CEC seems to be a quality employer.

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>>381887313
>Make us Fallout 4 again!

>>381888718
Cool space adventures without having to go through the rigorous training of being an astronaut. Basically being a colonist is like being a mexican while the engineers and everybody planet cracking involved is doing shit you're keeping your head down.

Who am I kidding? I'd probably still be shitposting on whatever their equivalent of 4chan is and sqaundering my life.

>>381888718
Yeah I like that gritty industrial sci-fi from dead space, that clean chrome plates sci-fi doesn't feel human to me.

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>>381885745

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>literally have been away years from home
>stuck with you faggots here, not even a qt in sight
>gonna mine a fucking buttplug made out of stone
Ok, who is the first one that's take it up his asshole? Jerry? Steve?

>>381888538
Bump

>>381889197
THE DRAGON DILDO WILL MAKE US WHOLE!

>>381889197
>gonna mine a fucking buttplug made out of stone
You'd be surprised
Some of the kinkier unitologist chicks likes to use their little marker statues as dildos
I should know, one of them went here in Medical and asked me to remove one from her ass, all secret like
Made a "deal" with her to keep me quiet, if you know what I mean

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FUCK YOU
AND FUCK YOUR MARKER

WE DON'T NEED EYES TO SEE WHERE WE'RE GOING

>>381889443
Go to the fucking medical Phil!.

>>381885686
>solod by one slasher
lmao

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>>381888974
>guys let's add VR on our game that runs on a shit engine that can't barely maintain 45 FPS without shitting the bed and even if you manage to get over 60 fps we made it so that everything will speed up and physics will get broken

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>>381889409
FUCK YOU I TRUSTED YOU!

>>381889197
Why are even unearthing this thing again? Something about it is creepy as fuck. We should just leave it, and the unitologists who love it so much, right where we found it.

>>381888057
We're like half a 'generation ship', kids just grow up here or in transit to Sprawl

>>381887313
SEE THAT MARKER
YOU CAN CLIMB IT

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nobody go in the z-ball court

>>381884068
Where the fuck are the toilets?

guys, i've decoded some of the marker. it says EA SUCKS. THEY ARE GOING TO KILL THIS FRANCHISE.

>>381889741
Did you shit in it again? Maintenance is gonna kill you.

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>>381885745

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Anyone seen this fucking guy?
Goes around and stomping with his metal shoes at everything, fucking load as fuck when I try to sleep!
He even uses his kinesis to just break shit.
I swear to fucking god I will beat his autistic ass later.

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>>381890000

>>381890020
yeah I think he has mental issues. Maybe the marker has something to do with it

>>381890192
Nah, the Marker makes us whole. He just shatters everything he touches.

>>381890192
That's just anti-Marker propaganda talking

Unga bunga rockstop

That moon seems... off.

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>finally scored some loli hentai
>can't enjoy it because someone keeps scratching at my door and gurgling

My one day off for the next three fookin weeks and this shit happens

>>381890020
I keep seeing him stealing shit from supply crates too. If anything has a light, he'll immediately go up to it and try to open it before running off with whatever's inside.

Keep your valuables in your room and make sure to cover up any lights. I've noticed that he doesn't go after anything that doesn't have a light on it.

>>381890535
>doesn't have a light on it.
That is peak autism right there.

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>>381890000
>quads

>>381889354
>Made a "deal" with her to keep me quiet, if you know what I mean
What did he mean by this?

>>381890453
Weebs should be banned from this ship.

>>381890886
>weebs survive
>normies die

Sounds right

>>381890953
???
why would we die if we banned weebs?

>>381890953
>Weebs think there important.

>>381891069
Enjoy not having any engineers then asswipe.

>>381891069
Well if you like you oxygen scrubbed, they are.

>>381891171
Ha! weebs aren't engineers that would imply weebs have jobs.

>>381890734
He means HE BECAME ONE WITH HER

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>>381890000
check´d

>>381891260
I love these comics.

>>381890676
What I want to know is what he's even doing with all the stuff he's stealing.

>>381891237
Why work when you can spend all day with your hologram waifu?

>>381890000
In B4 no fun mods delete that post Because it was a get

>>381890980
>normies being in charge of being safe

Necro-balls are not gay.

>>381892117
>Balls touching and even BECOMING ONE
Nigger, that's the gayest thing in the Universe

HALP SHITCURITY ARRESTING ME FOR NO REASON

>>381887893
>>>/reddit/

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>*Drags you and makes you disappear*
pssssh nothin personnell kidd

>>381889156
No you would still have to go through zero G and EVA training, which is a bitch.

And you would have constant emergency drills.

Space can and will fuck you up.
It's worse than an underwater base.

I'm going down to the surface, anyone want anything?

>>381893597
Cheddar Cheese Pringles and a blue red bull

what are chances of Tom cruise being a unitofag?

Somebody nuke the fucker who keeps reading Woody Got Wood over the public channel.

Can someone explain why it's worded like meanwhile on X /v/?

>>381893874
It still kills me just how much Tom looks like his dad.

>>381893874
Very high, they should have had a Ton Cruise stand-in in one of the games and have him become a miniboss or something.

>>381894036
It still kills me that he's even more of a manlet
>4'9''
>In this spaceday and spaceage
HOLY SHIT

Anybody think the captain has been acting a little strange since we dug up that marker?

>>381894126
>Look up Tom Cruise height
>1.7m, 5 foot 7

Ahahahahahahaha he's still hot and I'd bang him.

>>381889164

would you say the hard sci-fi Halo pulled for it's ship designs count for that?

>>381889667

t. total pussy

t. marker

>>381894580
>Halo ships
>Hard sci-fi

Hahaha no.

bruh

what the FUCK is inside food storage

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wew, another day of soul crushing work is done, let me take a quick leak before i get back to my quarter and call it a day. just let put my trusty plasma cutter on this ominous work bench for a second, surely no cataclysmic event will bechance me which made me wish i hadn't be so careless just for a second here

>>381889667
You know, this guy makes a lot of sense. Maybe, just maybe we shouldn't be fucking around with ancient alien artifacts or whatever the fuck they are. Let's just stick to mining planets that don't have creepy dildo-shaped ancient possibly-dangerous artifacts that could bring the extinction of humanity, sound good?

>>381894727
>UNSC ships
>not hard scifi

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>>381884262
fpbp

>>381894580
No not gritty enough, especially in the new ones.

Security, here. If we have even one more incident of engineering abusing their stasis packs, they are gone for good from this ship. You all can just figure out how to repair turbines without them.

>>381894208
Everyone's been acting strange since we find that damn marker, I saw some wankers trying to cut off their own hands with scissors earlier for some reason...

>>381895371
They're not even fucking close to hard SF.
If you want hard SF, look at The Expanse.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hey, engineers will you stop fucking around in the vents? Your weird rave parties or whatever they are are keeping me up at night

>have to grow test tube babies

i just wanna play video games

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Say something nice to her, US/V/.

>>381898885
People will tell you that you have a nice personality because they can't think of anything real to say

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>mfw cucked out of Dead Space on German steam

>people keep taking shits on the hydroponics tomatoes thinking it will make them grow faster
You retards realize eating poop can be lethal?

HONK HONK

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>>381900438

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>>381898885
UUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRHGGHR~

>>381899181
When are you going to tell your authoritarian government to fuck off?

>>381889197
>>381889306
This is the captain speaking. We need that marker for research purposes. I will personally examine it alone to make sure it's safe to use. I mean study. Stop complaining and get back to work. On an unrelated note medical please be on stand by
That is all.

PLANT CRACK IN 3...2.....

Guess who just set the new record for Zero-G Basketball? That's right faggots it's me

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>>381903850
For fuck's sake, I told you not to go in there, Frank.
It's been under quarantine since we left spaceport and just got sprayed down, the air's full of chemicals.
Maybe that's why you set the new record, since nobody's used the fucking thing since it got reset.

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*blocks your path*

>>381904171
Sounds like you're just jealous of my skills, if you were a real pro like me no shitty quarantine would stop you from ballin

>>381890000
masterful on-the-spot get for a masterful on-the-spot edit

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How do you shoot this without destroying your face? I'd rather use my power tools.

>>381901490

anything resembling anything but leftie liberal cocksucking is purged by the ironically nazi as fuck government they got over there, especially after that one guy who went around disguised as a refugee and actually fooled everyone