Meanwhile, at the ta/v/ern...

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*sits in the dark corner without talking to anyone while everyone looks at me in awe bc I am so badass*

I roll to seduce

>>381407942
where da feminine penis at?

>>381409284
You roll a natural 20.

You now have a feeling that the crow in front of you now wants your babies for the rest of its life.

YOUR MOTHER SUCKS DWARF COCK

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>>381407942
Oi! Which of you son's a whores feel like playin' some Gwent? But with a bit a challange, we only use the most shit suckin' cards of our decks, mostly Poor Fuckin' infantry and other arse type o' cards. Who'se in? Winner takes home a pot of 100 Nilfgaardian florens.

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>>381409592
*sits in the dark corner not talking to anyone gazing into the fire*

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>>381409906
Oi humie! Siddown ere' and play dis zoggin' card game wiff us! I feel like krumpin' two o' ya gitz an' winnin' dem shinies fer sum beer!

whats up with that one guy sitting in the corner?
anyone else think hes gonna shoot this place up?

also i pretty sure the barkeep just gave me a glass of literal horse piss

>>381409359
*Raises dick*

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anyone of you know where i can buy a nintondong gamesphere on the cheap?

fucking scalpers man

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Allow me to say a few words of wisdom... FUCK ELVES!

>>381411247
allow me to rephrase what the bearded one say
FUCK ELVES HARD

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>>381410595
*sits alone in the dark corner without talking to anyone like a badass*

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>>381409243
>looks over at his mates and says. "Get a load of this turbo autist".

>>381409243
dredgen yor?

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>>381412289
*slightly smirks at how jealous the orange conic the hedgehog ripoff looking thing is of my badassness while sitting alone in the dark corner of the tavern without talking to anyone like a badass*

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>>381411247
AYE!

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>>381411247
stupid n'wahs

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Providing spells of protection for free, tips freely appreciated.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlT_8GbTQfo

Composure check after drinking ten mugs of mead. Last digit x 2.

*accidently drops parchment paper with a list of all the women I've fucked ensuring the entire bar sees the list*

"My mistake gentlemen you may proceed to drink again."

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>>381412974
Sir that page is blank.

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So I am walking around Capital City's Noble District when this dwarf tries talking to me. he smelt as if he had never seen a bar of soap in his life.

He said something to me in he muttered something in his incomprehensible drunken-deep-earth-gutter-speak. I told him to go be lesser raced somewhere else.

fucking non-first borne scum.

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>>381412190
>>381412507
You are an incredible loser and I bet are extremely useless in adventuring parties.

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>>381407942
>Ywn play Modern with yoda

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>>381412974
Have ya written it in some fancy nuewh invisabul ink thear ya we lad eh? AH HAHAHAHA

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>sings in chat

Witcher 1 tavern music is objectively the best of any RPG:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfCzTcydsX0

>dat feel when roleplaying is dead in MMORPGs

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>>381413226
Why you pointy ear'd panzees always fink youz bettah den all da otha gitz n' grotz when you panzees can't even take one hit frum a big'un Orc like meself before topplin' over an' gettin' stomped so easily? Least dem tiny gits can put up a foight, not like you panzee, girly lookin' lot.

*busts in to bar*
"I'm a complete badass no monster too tall no man too cunning to get the best of me!"
*tooth falls out of mouth and rolls on to the floor*
"Haha god damn shit, what the fuck hahah"

>>381413603
I think all Witchers had really good tavern songs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BArA23NqVI

Excuse me lady could I get a cold jug of milk

>>381413742
Blood and Wine had the most comfiest tavern/ Gwent music.

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Alright this is a raid!

All non Elves surrender your weapons and enter the street with your hands on your head!

>>381413556
I had a friend who used to post lyrics in our group chat and I still don't understand why the fucker insisted on doing it in spite of relentless ridicule

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>>381413895
What was, knife ear scum?

>>381411247
*REEEEEEEEEEEEEE's in Dwarvish*

I SAID COME IN, DON'T STAND THERE

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>>381413895
Oi! Looks like we gotta fight boyz! Get ready ta krump these panzee gits!

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>>381413686
watch your tongue green skin, or we'll make quick work of you and your ragged band of brutes.

if your """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""people""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" put half as much time into advancing your civilizations as you did drinking and hitting each other you might even be on the dwarves level

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>>381413895
You came to the wrong tavern knife ear.

>>381412289
*takes sip*
where behind me? ok hum toss your phone on the floor, yes do it what you want me to stand up and turn around and look at him?

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>>381413895
BADDA BING BADDA BOOM, GET THIS JEW ELF MAGGOT OUTTA DIS ROOM!

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>>381407942
*sexually harass the qt elven barmaid*

guys guys, is there a tv with atari here? i wana play some video games

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>>381414259
Did somebody mention feast? I think somebody mentioned feast! I WILL BE HOLDING A FEAST TONIGHT!

>>381413895
FUCKING ELVIES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Well, If there's any girls there i wnt to doo them!

>>381414067
>>381414259
>>381414471
careful humans..

anyone who resists turning in their arms will join this green skin >>381414219
on the gallows tonight

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>>381414507
*PSSSHHHH* Ho ho ho ho, you handsome devil you~!

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>>381414230
I dun' undahstand dem big an' fancy words you panzee elf lot use but I fink youz wanna fight, me boyz an' I be happy to help cuz I haven't killed anyfing fer three days. SO SHUT YER TRAP AN' GET TO DA FOIGHTIN' !!!

>>381414639
I got a +9 dagger against ogres

OH JOLLY I SURE AM GLAD I ARRIVED IN THIS TAVERN SO I CAN LOOK FOR MERCENARIES. SOMEONE'S GOTTA HELP ME FOR THIS GIANT QUESTION MARK HOVERING ON ME HEAD

>>381414760
What the fuck are orks doing in a medieval fantasy tavern anyways?

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>>381414704
FRESH! MEAAAAAAAAAAAT! *Charges at the Elven Guard*

>>381414507
What is she pouring on herswef??

I roll to kill all elves with my 4 inch whopper

>>381414859
I ran out of orc images and that was the only decent non-Orky image, just go with it you shitter.

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>>381414870
demon spawn wretch. come and meet your doom.

*magic missile*
*magic missile*
*magic missile*
*magic missile*
*magic missile*

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>>381407942
Who want's to have a tall glass of JUSTICE?

>>381415052
>Implying my Meat Quest isn't complete
*Tears you apart and shreds your corpse to sinew and bone shards.*
"Haaaaaahahah", he laughed, eyes the rest of the guard.

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>>381414859
not all cannons have orcs fundamentally pitted against the other races.

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>>381415128
SAVE SUM' PANZEE ELFIES FER ME YA POINTY HEADED GROT!!!

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>>381414704
What are you gonna do frolic all over me.

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>>381414870
Begone foul creature

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>>381415128
*casts enslave demon*
*commands you to slaughter all the non Elves in the tavern*
*casts banish to send you to the twisting nether*

>>381415154
But space orks??

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>>381415128
Ohhh yes...let's, DO. THIS! *Drains the life out of another Elven Guard, cackling as his body whithers into a skeletal frame.*

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Don't worry, orkz are prone to exploding in combat.

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>>381415302
>>381415362
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*Knowning no allegience other than the forces of Sin itself, The Butcher charges at the two. Tearing the Knight to shreads like meat out of a tin can, and cleaving the Warlock into two halves*

KILL!!!

seen any elves?! HAHAHAHA

>>381415380
space. time. its all pretty convoluted in the /v/exus.

Elves are still dicks though.

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>>381407942
you're just sitting there chilling with your champion vestel, then this spooky mother fucker walks in and slaps her ass so hard she instantly gets 100 percent stress. what you do?

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>>381413895

I dont think this is going to go as well as you hoped, bud.

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>>381415529

aaaaaaaaaaaaand you dont exist anymore

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>>381415595
'An who the bloody hell is this twinkling daisy? He looks like a fairy. He gonna bring some party favors to the men folk now is he? Sorry poof, I'm already dedicated to a man already.

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me when I enter the tavern and seen elves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvJsG4F2Img

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>>381415567
*heals your stress slowly*

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>>381415705
"MEAAAA-"*poof*
I have no idea how that guy works, can he just make stuff go away?
*Suddenly, a LEGENDARY Sword drops to the ground*

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[punch elves]

>>381415803
What video games have muscle wizards in them? Blood mages are also acceptable.

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>>381415595
heh nice jammies kid.

do they come in any size other than 'I am a little bitch'?

Is that Commander Data at one of the tables?

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EVERYONE, GET IN HEEEEEEEEERE

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>>381415794
>it's an ashbringer

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>>381415726

get another drink and sit your ass down before i get the other rangers over here.

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Come on, everyone. Let's just all settle down, grab a pint, and dig into some pig snacks.

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*sits silently at your pokertable"
*pulls out a bag of caps*

>>381415794

yeah doctor strange has supreme knowledge of the arcane arts.

what that translates to is pretty much being able to defeat anyone, because even if he couldnt make you not exist, he could banish you to an entirely different dimensions. nigga fights celestial entities.

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>>381415927
I am going to steal sooo much intellect!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuYxo66AbSI
Quit *verb*ing at each other and gather around the fire, a blowout is coming and I don't want you chucklefucks punching a hole in the wall.

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>>381415952
forget your skirt at home little jian man?

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>>381415879

What did you ju...Argh!

POWER RANGERS...ITS MORPHIN TIME!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wt6XlVob_E

>>381416090
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT-sSDOMmvM
Get skilled.

>>381411247
I DRINK TO THAT!

>>381415952

He did gay porn.

>>381416175
this theme song brings a fucking tear to my eye i swear to god

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>>381415879
Ah think if he couldn't look any gayer if he weren't wearing a bleedin tu-tu. My Co-worker wears a tu-tu far better than this snobby looking twit does. He calls that dinky little piece of plastic a "weapon". Here laddie.

*Unsheathes my Eyelander*

THIS! Is a REAL weapon. And it's bigger than your's too pipsqueak.


Whaddya think of that Mr., Dinosaur ridin, Ninja jumpin, Cat fuckin, monster of the week fightin, lesson learnin, American bastardizin, Color code wearin, gay bashin, Jap unleashin, monkey fightin, leotard wearing little ninny?

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>>381416047
*sits in the dark corner without talking to anyone*

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>>381416125

I dont needs skirts, my legs are OK.

>>381416224

Besides the garage-band tier lyrics, musically the song goes hard as fuck.

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>>381416321
not for long jian scum

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>>381415952
Ohhhhh I'm sooooo scaaaaaaarred. What are ya gonna do? Prance around me to death? BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!

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>>381416251
Get back to work acolyte

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>>381416234
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF13PHEeJYA

you're alright demo.. you're alright

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...

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What's up fuckers
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK

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>>381415952
Get outta here you poser before I get my child sex slave army on you.

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>>381407942
Strong drink, a game of chance, and companionship. The rush of life.

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>>381407942
>if I graduated from Igros Academy as a Calculator, I could have any job right out of school with a 300k gold starting salary

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>>381416440
Ayy-*UUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!*ayyyy!

>>381416509
felipe minha sogra fez aqui tambem sopa de macaco

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>>381416408

i bet you havent even escaped your cycles little bitch

Hey guys what's going on

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>>381416610
SOPA

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>>381416509
i dont speak your fucking language you stupid monkey

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Soo while you were all laughing at the Manchild in the leotard (Not you Spiderman the other Manchild in the Leotard) I went and killed all the Elven guards.

SO! Whose up for a drink? *Brandishes some TOTALLY NOT DEMON BLOOD Mountain Dew*

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>>381416175
bring it on you pajama party pipsqueaks.. I bet you lot will be even easier than that bald manlet Krillain


I'll show you what a real theme song sounds like
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gl8_b4qi3Ss

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>>381416234

eyelander? try power sword you scottish cunt

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>>381416669
DE

Once glass of room-temperature water, please. Neat.

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>>381416509
We don't serve furred scum here. We already have enough faggot elves prancing about.

>>381416414
*farms you for your mount*

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This is your bartender for the night.

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>>381416646
Oh for fu-is this insolent child still talkin? Quit your prattling wee man, and let's FIGHT already!

*Lunges at you with his sword!*

what is this autism

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>>381416709

did i say you could speak?

>>381416725
MACACO
A
C
A
C
O

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>>381416646
i escaped my cycles long ago
pic related its me

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>>381416846
>what is this autism
>is this autism
>this autism
>autism

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>>381416695
'Dan'y boy how ya been? love the new look.

by thw way, about that whole 'trying to use my mortal body as a vessel for your overlords and attempting to banish my soul to helhiem' thing.. yeah... you can fuck off

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>>381416980
Aww fuck cakes.

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WASSUP WASSUP WASUUUUUUP! YA BOI RAG-NA-ROS IS IN DA HOUUUUSSEEE!

LET'S POP SOME BUBBLES IN THIS BITCH CUZ IT'S ABOUT TO GET HOT IN HERE! LADIES NEED NOT APPLY, I'M HUNTING BOYS TONITE!

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>>381417205
Back to the pit you uncivilized baboon

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>>381416910

>implying i havent researched Cardiac boost

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>>381416783
A whiskey for me, I've lost my friends in battle today

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>>381417281
check those legs of yours jian-boy

>>381415362
>that long upper body
>those short legs
ugh

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>>381417281
*Thrust my sword into your heart*
Much good that did ya. Ya tip-toein ballet dancer!

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>>381417336

these legs are fine punccbitch

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>>381417273
AWW MAN YOU BE STRAIGHT UP TRIPPIN! WHY YOU GOTTA LAY A FELLOW BROTHER DOWN! WE TORCHES NIGGA DWAVES AND SHIET MAN! C'MON, LEMME HELP YOU FIND SOME BOI PUCCI TONITE! THAT CRAZY MONKEY FELLER EARLIER LOOKED LIKE A TASTY LITTLE TREAT! *NUDGE NUDGE*

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>>381416783
your finest dark roast coffee my good man.

black.

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>>381417416
And youre countered.

Better go back to resup and switch classes.

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>>381417520
Get out of my face fool

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>>381417485
sounds like you want a face full of bearkiller jian

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>>381417575
*Ignores the fire and chops off your head anyway*
You were sayin ya wee bitch? Ya gon'ta cry to Gabby now? A-hahahahahhaha!

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>>381417624
>>381417520
Is there a problem here gentlemen?

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>>381411247
>>381413686
>>381414219
>>381415879
If you idiotic imbecile barbaric parasites do not leave my establishment this instance I'll be forced to introduce you to my securitrons

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>>381417624
RAGGY WANT CUMMIES! RAGGY WANT CUMMIES! RAGGY WANT CUMMIES!

PLEASE DADDY PLEASE GIVE RAGGY CUMMIES!

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This thread is in desperate need of a purging.

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>>381417754
DADDY!!! GIVE RAGGY YOUR HOT STICKY CUMMIES PLEASE!

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>>381417793
*stabs you in the back*
Nothing personal.

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>>381417793
Did someone say ''purging''

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>>381411247
I disagree. . . FUCK GOBLINS!

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>>381417885

egghh..

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>>381417912
Time is money friend

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>>381417793
i agree.

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HALT! Hand me your identification paperz. SCNELL!

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>>381417837

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Can someone tell your awful maid to bring a better brew than this watered down crap?

buy me booze and I'll be your healer for tonight

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>>381416669
>>381416725
>>381416897

>>381418254
YES! CUMMIES FOR RAGGY! I'M SORRY DADDY FOR MY BEHAVIOR BUT I CAN'T HELP BEING A...
FLAMING FAGGOT!

>>381414507
fucking jagged shadows

>bartender said I should pay for my drink
What did he mean by this?

Suddenly noises are coming from a tuck out in the parking lot. The truck is shaking back and forth with fever in the shower going on outside.

The squeaking of the rusty axels are heard above the noise of the bar and it's patrons.

>>381407942
"I don't know man, I can't just walk up to some one like Ciri and just talk to her. Let alone even try to hit on her..."

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>>381418517
The squeaking at this point is so loud, that someone's gonna have to investigate, and ask the person inside to stop what they're doing.

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thread must end

>>381418714
Only if you brave looking into the Truck's window.

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>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60IPzxXmDKs

THATS IT..........................................

ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............................

I'VE HEARD ENOUGH OF ALL THIS BULL SHIT. NOW YOU'RE GOING TO LISTEN TO ME................................... YOU GUYS CAN'T JUST GO AROUND HITTING EACH OTHER. THERES NO DO OVERS. IF YOU KILL ONE ANOTHER THERES A LOT OF MEMORIES THAT WILL BE LOST......YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALK AROUND AL WILLY NILLY, BUT NO. MR. RESETTI IS GOING TO TEACH YOU AND THING OR TWO. show you the error of your ways....... SO LISTEN UP!!!!!! now then. you elves need to stop being dicks. and you humans need to stop being dicks. Dwarves that goes for you too. Orcs you need to stop being dicks as well ( and that goes double for you orks)

Demons, Daemons and demon spawns........ Where do you get off, coming into an establishment like this and causing all this rukus. you going to hurt someone and damage the landlords property. ARE YOU GOING TO PAY THOSE REPAIR BILLS??

Stupid edgy guy in the corner, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Gul'dan, stop trying to spike everyone's drink with demon blood. thats date rape. All you class based shooters need to put your guns away and behave bc everyone's already tired of your shit. Same goes for you anime and comic book characters. You're already pushing your luck here. EVERYONE'S THEME SUCKS AND IS WORSE THAN MINE OK??

Now theres going to be NO ARRESTS (ELVES) NO PURGES (HUMANS) NO SLAUGHTER (DEMONS)........

YOU ALL SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES. This is a sad state for the /v/ tavern. NOW CUT THE SHIT! I Swear if I have to come back here I am going to give you all such an stern talking too

I want all of you to behave............ Don't make me come back..

>>381418923
Hey Resetti on your way out, can you check on the Blu Truck out in the parking lot? That squeaking is driving me crazy.

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>>381418975
Alright friend i'll go check it out

'Tis way too crowded in here, I wish I was back in my swamp.

>>381419082
*The Truck is shacking back and forth. Moaning sounds coming from within. It sounds like a man struggling against an evil Daemon!

>>381417758
This is a fantasy tavern! Take yer robots next door pal!

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>>381419137
D-d-deamon ?

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>>381419082
>>381419137
You look into the Window of the car and see!

Soldier: HEY! Can't ya see I'm getting some head here MAGGOT!

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By The Great Old Ones... This tavern is too degenerate for our liking. were taking our space ship pyramids home and leaving..

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>>381414507
>Its a minotaur in disguise all along

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>>381419321
J-Jane? I thought what we 'ad was special!
*Runs away crying*

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>>381419321

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HOWDY Y'ALL!
*Grabs and adjusts her crotch*
Anyone got a brewski around here?

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>>381418923
No slaughter, aaaw man I was looking forward to that.

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seeing as how dawn is breakin. who wants pancakes?

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>>381419954
I do!
With lots of BACON!
>>381419869
Ya kinda missed out on that pardner. Butcher got erased from existance. Gul'Dan is ashes and his skull crushed by Illidan over there, and that weird Power Rangler or whatever got plunged by Demo over thar.

All while I blew Soldier's dick.

>>381418923
>no purges

But they elves are picking on us again.

*our eyes make contact*

>>381420139
*Shakes tail*

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Is this the bar with the trap gloryhole in the back?

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>>381416509
Hello fellow nonbeast citizens, what is going on in this ba-