Meanwhile, on board the USG /v/shimura....

You know what I like most about the /v/shimura?

All the casuals are dead.

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Kangz n shiet?

Okay who the FUCK took my plasma cutter?

pew pew

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SEND HELP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

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>>380455079
What did I tell you guys about USING THE TOOLS AS WEAPONS? I SWEAR TO GO-

'planet crackers'

how the hell would that work?

So guys, I was thinking about hitting up that new chick from medical. Naomi, I think her name is. I reckon I've got a good chance.

I turned off the gravity in one of the rooms so I can have my cock sucked in anti gravity

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>>380455079
Deck Crew here.
I can't stand my new crew members.
Why the fuck are half of them unitologists?
I swear all they do is worship that bloody rock thing all day and never do there fucking jobs.
One of the3 cunts even said behind my back that I would burn with the rest of humanity.
Can we ban unitology from the ship already please?

>>380455506
GODDAMNIT I'M COVERED IN SHIT THANKS TO YOU

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>>380455079

Just like this thread.

medical deck officer here. just a reminder to stop taking the med packs and scattering them throughout the ship. thanks and have a nice day.

>>380455506
Ever tried blasting yourself with stasis when you're about to cum?
DUDE

What's with all the gurgling and thumping in the vents? Is maintenence playing pranks again? And I swear to god, next time someone starts talking about fucking unitology again, i'm gunna shove their little twisty dildo where the sun don't shine

>>380455079
thank god i'm getting transferred to medical

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I am so fucking done with this ship. Hydroponics are a bunch of layabout stoners, the Engineers keep turning my shit into weapons, Medical hordes all of the supplies and the goddamn Unitologists creep me the fuck out.

There's no way the Event Horizon can ever be as bad as this place.

>>380456332
Heard good things about Weyland - Utani, maybe you should apply there.

>>380455079
kek

me and the boys got on the piss last night and flicked the ADS cannon onto manual

fuck it's harder than it looks ay

danny had a big cry about being seconds from death n yadda yadda

it's not like we were gonna leave it turned off

>>380456532
Security here
Thanks for tipping us off
We'll be with you in a few minutes

>>380456708
aw gummon boss

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>>380455079
mmm, this is a nice place

>>380455303
bang bang

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Why do we have a bunch of babies in green slime?
Why do we need a room for this? why does this exist in the first place? and why was I never told about this place till I already singed a three year contract?

>>380455581
This unitologists remind me of that ancient religion, what was it called? Islum, Aslma?

Hey hey hey LADS! Can you believe this? I saw my dead wife in the cargo bay I didn't reach out to her then but now I'm going to go back again and check it out. I could have sworn it was the real thing, wish me luck boys.

>>380455079
This the eighth positive pregnancy test I found in the bathroom. Would you people actually stop fucking like rabbits? At this rate, we'd be flooded by babies. -Janitor

>>380455581
Get back to /pol/

>>380457226
Is that the region where they had sex with goats and beheaded everyone?
Thank god we don't have regions like that anymore.
Oh wait....

>>380457258
m8

i've been catching up with my highschool sweetheart all week

>>380457393
Cry more you unitologist faggot.

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>>380457258
I saw my dead girlfriend too.
She gad glowing lights coming out of her eyes and mouth.
She screamed at me to "Make us whole."
Was I seriously that bad in bed?

>>380455820
STASIS

>>380457515
I'm here with my wife right now. Where are you? Brought a couple beers would be a shame to not share em. Also I'm getting a weird headache, is this normal? Ahh I'll just go to the medical bloc later on tomorrow.

Sure is great just being normal blue-collar down to earth employees eh fellow peers? Totally not like those snobby attitudes of those coo...lame Unitologists!
Bow howdy I sure do enjoy some honest engineering work and not quitely trying to convert my fellow man so that he may appreciate the oncoming Convergence!

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Who's up with spacing those filthy unitology meatbags?

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>>380455079
WHO TURNED ZERO GRAVITY ON WHILST I WAS FAPPING?
NOW THERE'S CUM FLYING ALL AROUND MY ROOM.

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>>380457795
Fuck off unitologist shill!

>>380458125
Sorry had to do some quick test and maintenance to make sure everything was working alright.

(another) side story when?

>>380458276
kek

shoulda waited til he was taking a shit

the plasma cutter in ds1 is the best one, the lasers reticle is also better.

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>>380458410
Another good Dead Space when?

>>380458125
Drink it

what's that annoying noise?

boss bet me one of those new fancy semiconductors i wouldn't be able to do a lap of the centrifuge while it's still on

easy money i reckon

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WHY DO I NEVER GET THE GOOD SITES
I WANT TO FIND A MARKER TOO FUCKING MINERS YOU STOLE MY FIND IM SUPPOSED TO GO DIG UP ALIEN SHIT YOU JUST FUCKING JACK OFF OVER ROCKS

>>380458931
Anything less than Ruby and you got fucked over

whoever is doing this, it's not funny anymore, please turn off that annoying sound, turn it off.

Extraction on the Wii is probably my favorite on rails shooter. Too bad I cant get any of my friends to play it.

Does anybody know anything about this Aegis VII that we're supposed to be going to?

>>380455409
Miners dig in a circle basically down into a point, around a large surface area. Gravity tethers are connected to the center piece, the ship in orbit pulls the giant fuck off chunk of rock up, where its processed into usable materials. Leaves vast craters in the planet akin to giant gorges.

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>>380459457
Are you talking about those strange whispers over the PA system?
They're so faint, but I keep hearing some monotone brit lady telling me about social interaction or something. No one else that I know of has experienced it.

>>380458725
Is it like a kind of scratching sound?

>>380459919
lewd

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SUP ISHIFAGS
USM Valor here. We're just about to shockdrive back to Earth so we can slay some sweet EarthGov pussy. You enjoy digging around in the dirt? Have fun with your Necromorph outbreak!

>>380461278
>Necro
>morph
Look man, you can't just throw two words together and expect to scare us.
Have fun with you dead planet and expensive whores.