Meanwhile...at the ta/v/ern...

>>379236173
I like games.

OI CAN I GET SOME MILK OVER HERE

*In his own dark corner of the tavern brooding*

>>379236232
A ROUND OF GROG FOR EVERYONE THAT LIKES VIDEO GAMES

>>379236173
Guys, what's the password for the loli dungeon again? I'm totally a member, I'm not part of the Royal Guard.

WATER WITH DOUBLE CELERY, SNAPPY

>>379236412
Wrong tavern. /b/astard /b/rews is down the road.

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>>379236270
>>379236367
>>379236434
Y-Your order has arrived. I hope you enjoy it

>>379237931
*Grabs your ass*
hold on a second, give some sugar for daddy

So we don't separate the knife ears from the rest of us in this tavern?
What is this, some activist pub?

>>379237931
Hey where ye goin' so soon? Hue hue hue hue

>>379237931
show us yer dick then

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>>379237931
Aye, lad get off it. These men ordered a round 'a drinks, not your crass fairy water.

Yer' drinks, lads, if ye care for 'em.

Tendies

Fried, not baked.

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I got a fake ID.

>>379240953
It just has one name, "Link."

>>379241360
Muhammed*

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>>379240953
pshh, fucking casual.

Anyone up for some pool? I brought the glue

>>379241827
I'll take you on in Gwent. I have a mean Nilfgaardian deck.

>>379241949
>Gwent
Sorry kid, I only brought TES legends.

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>>379238369
We don't discriminate in here no more. Remember what happened when we started calling the black mages niggers?

Patrons got lit up family.

Never change /v/ You're all I've got left.

>>379242374
It's too late for me, anon. I'm not the man I used to be

>>379240243
*grabs your ass*
Hold on a second, give some sugar to daddy

>>379238369
What's a knife ear?
You must have this board confused for a more traditional one

>>379242627
A filthy sub human called an elf.

Did you guys hear about that fight between the two Smash Brothers players?
I heard it was a great brawl, but don't ever tell them I said that!

>>379242873
Bro, we are gamer. We call 'em Hyrulians. Link is epic. He's not sub human at all.

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Alright, which of you faggots is man enough for the bomb?

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can i join, too? i play games and i look just like kaede without the different color eyes

>>379243578
A MILK FOR THE LASS

ROYAL GUARD HERE
THERE'S A VAMPIRE AMONG YOU
FROM NOW ON NO ONE LEAVES THIS TAVERN.

>>379243760
The only milk we serve is straight from the tavern wenches' titties.

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I'll have five orders of (You)s.

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>>379243760
it's milky with alcohol, right??

Oi mate, you may be the saviour of our village but you can't go and steal all our drinks like that. I don't care it heals your battle wounds, fuck off.

>>379244027
How bout you pour me a drink before you "lose" all your gold for your next mortgage?

>>379243997
>heterochromia meme
fucking ruined

I'll have a diet pepsi

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>>379236173
>drops bloodstained bar of precious metal on counter
Kings Street Brandy, please. And open a tab, I'm going to be here a while

>>379244298
Is Coke ok?

>>379244342
That's even better

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Do you have any ketchup and fries?

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A round of Ginger Twerk

>>379236173
where the white women at

I'll have one beer

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CAN I INTEREST ANYONE IN A ROOT BEER?

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>>379244272
okay, bye. i don't want to hang out with a bunch of losers and nerds who have problems with me for no good reason. i was going to post my pics too because i've been drinking a little

I don't want anything!

>>379236173
one water please.

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>>379236173
gibe alcohkols

>>379244645
Good, no one loves attention whores

Hey, /v/! Be my wingman and come up with some video game uplines! I need to get laid!

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>>379244645
Then get out of here already, bitches like you get on my nerves

>>379245075
Just yell GET OVER HERE at women and throw a rope dart at them

>>379241603
*McLovin

>all these fairies drinking rainbow water
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCHq0m67lq8

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HELLO INSOLENT WAITER.
I, AKU, THE BINGE-DRINKING MASTER OF DRUNKNESS, REQUIRES A MALT LIQUOR, EXTRA THICC

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I just got thrown out of my mom's house forced to quit my job and now I'm back where I was in squalor with my grandma. I literally just wanted to be left alone after work and feel miserable and sit around like the abnormal fuck I am yet "let's be more sociable and enjoy life more", shit I actually started to enjoy the tedium of doing my job just to get away from her. I mean is it so bad to not want to infect others with your misery by shutting yourself off and being alone? I fucked up my life and I'm just tired of everything.

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ALLL right which one of you fucks said shit aboot me waifu having a willy?
ill kick your liver'd furry ass all the way back to solstheim

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>>379245110
why? because all i did was be nice and wanted to have a drink with you guys?

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AWWW Fuck!! someone bring me a beer and fight me in arm wrestle! we wuz huntas n' shiet!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvY4HbUOsAc

>>379245267
Fuck off Aku, you're dead

>>379245404
>his waifu doesn't have a willy
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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>>379245424
Please don't talk about the samurai here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p_NofO4I7I

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I like one good feel

>>379245601
The Samurai totally penetrated you with his long hard sword, dude

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>>379245405
i want to fuck this bitch so bad

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>>379245623
Sorry bub, we're all out

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>>379245708
But not my daughter

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>>379245783
i think you meant "buy her a drink and listen to her jokes and puns"

>>379245783
>>379243578
i want to FUCK that r63'd david bowie

>>379245945
We're not gonna talk about Judy.

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>>379245805

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>>379245110
what a man

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okay. kaede might be the big winner, but the nitta girl is the hottest
>/v/ talking about girls over the age of 18
what happened to us?

Hey guys, I'm making a brand new drink! But I need you guys to pay for it while I make it, the ingredients cost you know!

>>379237931
*grabs dick*

get over here (scorpion voice)

>>379246119
my urine is free

>>379245914
Yeah.

Keep believin that

>>379245203
Bitch, I have powdered uranium in my drink. Shit gets you fucked up

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Got any ale or mead?

Ay gimme 10 (You)s in 5 minutes or imma shoot this muthaafucka to the ground

>>379246324
What will you give me in exchange for this (You) other than my continued existence?

@379246324
nah

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>>379245418
>arm wrestling intensifies

>>379246365
Well you only keep your existence if i get at least 10 (You)s

>379246324 You)

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@379246324
>implying we are here because we want to live
and how to you "shoot something to the ground"?

>>379245914
That was a stupid ending

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379246324
I want to live sooooo much that I'm going to do the opposite in the hopes you kill me.

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>>379246324
You best leave now or you won't live to see me get to 10 (You)s first

haha this place is full of trollsssss! i'm glad i found this site

>>379236173
Your mother sucks dwarf cock

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Oh, there once was a hero named Ragnar the Red
Who came riding to Whiterun from ole Rorikstead

And the braggart did swagger and brandish his blade
As he told of bold battles and gold he had made

But then he went quiet, did Ragnar the Red
When he met the shieldmaiden, Matilda, who said:

"Oh you talk, and you lie, and you drink all our mead
Now I think it's high time that you lie down and bleed"

And so then came clashing and slashing of steel
As the brave lass Matilda charged in full of zeal

And the braggart named Ragnar was boastful no more
When his ugly red head rolled around on the floor

>>379246947
People don't talk like that anymore, grandpa

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HEY. Synth booze, strong as you got.
someone link me a good Playlist of vaporwave, I'm actually drunk and want to zone out while feeling like garbage

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Why is no one buying any FOOD
out for 4 hours and not a single customer

>>379247292
but trollsssssssssss

>>379247292
You only act that way because you have a guilty conscious. You should consider selling legal consumptions

>>379247434
Your products are shite, Todd the Merchant

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>>379247696
SAY THAT
TO MY FACE

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bartender! there's a naked fairy in my drink!

*gayly saunters into the ta/v/ern*
Urgent quest pls :3

>>379247774
Faries are like living onaholes
Just grab her and have yourself a go

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>>379247776
*hides you're faggot post*
What now?

>>379247761
woah calm down dude

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>>379247434
>strides in boldly
Rev up those friers! I'll have
>10 orders of fried radroach
>5 orders of cooked skeever
>3 orders of fire ant fricasse
>5 brahmin steaks
>a wasteland omelet
>Big Smoke's order
>an order of fried shroom
>a ham sandwich
>a larinoth salami roll
>an ardent crockpot
>one of those roasted bone-in meats Goku and Luffy love
>a fried pork bowl
>something from that Dragons Crown food pic
>a bowl of grandma's soup
>and Tayce T's special Cake

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(You) and me. We're the only people around who aren't complete fools.

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>>379247774
Letting a fairy soak in your drink improves the taste though anon

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WOOOOOOOOO

stole a eight ball of fishscale of some chump noble

who wants to get fuckin' zooted

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>>379248098
you didn't pre-order any of those meals pal......................................

WHO HERE /COMFY/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esd3EcxQho4

can I get a cranberry juice?

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>>379249132
>implying your knaifu is stronger than mine
Nice try Toddyrod, now get in the kitchen before I start escalating

>>379249413
What, are you on your period?

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>>379249669
I CAN'T BE BEATEN BY MERE PHYSICAL ATTACKS
ITS NOT YOUR TIME
PREORDER FOODOUT 44444444444444444444444

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OH SHIT BOSS THE HEALTH INSPECTORS HERE!

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>>379250508
ALRIGHT HERE'S WHAT WE'LL DO TAKE ALL THE NONVIDYA OUT THE BACKDOOR SO HE DOESN'T FIND ANY INSIDE THE TA/v/ERN AND SHUT US DOWN
NOW GO HURRY THE FUCK UP PEOPLE

>>379240243
*unzips dick*

Heh, I got a drink for you too baby

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>>379249802
Oh but I did preorder todd from the grey market

>>379245075
Always remember to compliment her feminine penis. Girls love it when you do that.

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How do you want your steaks?
Medium or Medium-well?

>>379251118
I like my meat rare...

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>>379251118
med-rare

best steak
(you) me

>>379251304
>>379251349
You might as well eat it blue.

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*installs new lighting to eliminate the problem with too many dark corners*

quick, whats your favorite song in the jukebox

>>379251118
Well done. The way it's supposed to be enjoyed

>>379252610
scatman

>>379252610
I can't hear it cause some jackass keeps playing A Cruel Angel's Thesis on the electric guitar

>>379252612
Good choice, sir!
Might I also add that the Kid's Steak also comes with a paper crown and plenty of ketchup?

>>379252741
>paper crown
aww no fair i only got a shitty little Italian flag and a copy of battleborn :(

>>379252610
>dance gesture
https://youtu.be/EMJMgxm-D_U

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>>379252610
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=189QSTKC5no

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And there I was lads, having a picnic with me best mate when these fucking ants bust outta the ground and ruin everything. Any one of you cunts got a story to share?

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>*comes out of the dark*

Gentlemen, have a look over here!, would you be interested in perfectly safe software?
not to mention... that it's free of charge

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>>379236232
THE FUCK DID YOU SAY MATE?
WE DON'T WANT YOUR KIND HERE!!

>>379254413
dont mind be just pirating this post

A round of water for everyone and anyone that walks through that door!

>>379245140

superbad was ten years ago

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I'll take some milk.


With ice.

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>>379255026
Here you go.

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>>379255126
Now pour it on me, slowly.

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>>379255239
o....ok

>>379251118
im a monster hunter, ill like it WELL DONE.

>>379255239
Could you take this outside, ligger? You're spooking the customers.

>>379236173
I wonder which of them is gonna pick a fight with Geralt. It is Witcher rule that someone has to pick a fight with you in every single tavern.

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>>379255282
Sensually.

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>bar wench is a trap

neat

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>>379255963
>>379255282
>>379255239
>>379255026
>>379254413
>>379252402
>>379247776
>>379246947
>>379246201
>>379246139
>>379245928
>>379245405
>>379245286
>>379245136
>>379244645
>>379244453
>>379244302
>>379243997
>>379243578
>>379236312
Get out you fucking redditards.
>I WAS JUST PRETENDING TO BE RETARDED.
Could've fooled me.

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So then I told the guy, MH5 ON PS4! BAhahaha

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>>379255394
Mah nigga

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>>379256479

>>379256479
Did he buy it?

>>379256345
(You)

>>379236173
I thought whoring in a tavern would be really degrading but most people just want to see my feet. This really isn't so bad.

Shit. The juke box is stuck on "Big Iron" again.
Anyone here a mechanic?

>>379258110
Just shoot it. That should sort it out

>>379258110
mechanic here
do this >>379258228

>>379236173
The tavern from what?

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>>379236173

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>>379261117

>>379240243
cheers lad
>>379237931
*flips a coin over and it lands in the trap's breastpocket*
[Charisma 9/10]
>wink
How about you and me order another round of milk for ourselves and a room?

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Man, the beer here is such piss.
Despite literally EVERYBODY drinking these massive tankards and ordering more rounds before they've even finished, I haven't seen anybody actually get drunk all night.

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>>379261703
[Failed] how about you just get a room for yourself and your friend there?
what friend? oh i was talking about your left hand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_fPtazfALA

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>>379254665
He clearly enjoys them ironically, green friend.

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Sorry, I don't goto gay bars.