Meanwhile in Ancient Rome /v/...

TRUE ROMAN SHITPOSTING

*hand gestures*

FOR TRUE ROMANS

vestri ventus ludo est stercore

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>go to forum to discuss favourite boardgame strategy with the lads
>see qt slave cleaning the table
>Centurion chaddus maximus goes straight for her and buys her right in front of me

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U M U
M
U

>No AAA ancient Rome or Greece game
>best Rome game is the first Rome Total War

one day, one day

ALL MOCKERY OF JEWS AND THEIR ONE GOD SHALL BE KEPT TO AN APPROPRIATE MINIMVM

JUNO'S CUNT

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>>379170875
Laughed out loud when he said that

>>379170875
even then the jews were jewing the system to make it hard to criticize them

MINERVA IS MY WAIFU

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AYO ROME BOI U MAD???

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daily reminder romans were degenerate (((civilised))) child fuckers
Face the superiority! Furor Teutonicus!

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>>379170671
THE WHORE OF BABYLON IS CUTE! CUTE!

I.7.8 (bar; left of the door); 8162: We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.

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>Tfw Rome fall by itself
>Tfw a few barbarums actually think that they achive something
>M-MUH VIKINGS AND SHIET
>Tfw you realize that ACTUALLY some huns make them some space so they could go into Rome
>Socialism

>>379171323
All I see are hardworking Roman men, just doing their job getting attacked by rabid snowniggers

>>379171701
>doing their job
>imperialising other peoples


fuck off romancuck. fuck some more children will you?

>>379171762
>snow nigger talking about depravity while hes fucking his sheep instead of eating them

>>379171762
>imperialising

Typical barbar apologist. You're just as dumb as the rest of those snow monkeys. Enjoy rubbing shit on yourself and your kin in honor of (((Wodan)))

>germans welcome

Did anyone hear about Cvckius Betacus? he went to the far east on some trading expedition and since then he won't shut up about how superior their culture is to ours.

ueni uidi uiki

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>>379170382
>West Romans in charge of not getting raped by barbar

aue, true to kaesar

>>379172074
The man is crazy, he keeps spouting something about folded steel and mountains that spew fire

Gods help that poor fool

Colosseum or circus?

>He doesn't live in Constantinople

>>379172501
Circus all day. Chariot racing was Roman Nascar

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What do you plebeians think of this game?

JUPITER'S COCK

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>>379171946
>>379171910
kys childfucker romancucks

>gaulfags posting their lvstful goat depictions in colisevm beasts forvm discussions
REEEEEEEEEEEEUS GAULSODOMITES GET THEE GONE REEEEEUS

>>379172546
>Christian

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>tfw you realize Carthage existed

OVER THE ALPS, PERHAPS?

>>379172791
Snow niggers fucked children too, but unlike upstanding Romans, they let wild dogs rape their children and then raped the wild dogs

>>379172675
It was fun desu, spent a lot of time on this one as a lad. I just wish it went full blown 3D Pokémon adventure with wild Pokémon and other shit

>>379172805
I still love my pagan waifu goddess honest

>>379172820
>Carthaginians
>people

>>379172820
delenda est carthago

>tfw just hanging out in the middle east keeping the peace for the Caesar when a pack of rabid Jews barge into your outpost and demand you kill someone called Jesus or else they'll riot

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*Raid you*

What are some good games set in Ancient Rome?

>patrolling the gallic countryside
>"Non est mecum" starts playing

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SO YOU SAYIN'
I CAN MARRY CLEOPATRA
AND BE A KING
N SHIT?

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>mfw Caligue sends soldiers to stab the sea
This Juuli dinasty is fucked up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_JVaMuZZBQ

>>379171323
Literally implying pederastry isn't in EVERY patriachial society

Amish, catholic church, greeks, synagogues

Get the fuck out retard

>>379173798
Not many brother, not many at all

>>379170382
GALLIC FUCKING SHITS

>>379173798
Better play Civ and live out your imperial fantasy, m8

You heard about that Jesus lad who's been making a fuss all over the east?
He calls himself the son of god(1)

Furthermore, I believe that Sony should be destroyed, my fellow senators.

Did the Romans have waifus?

Some of you guys are all right
Don't go to the senate tomorrow

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>>379175346

>>379175284
II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8792b: Antiochus hung out here with his girlfriend Cithera.

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>>379172501
>Not Hippodrome
Enjoy your faggot gladiators

>>379175284
Not really, but they had a major (purely heterosexual you understand) boner for Alexander the Great.

Fortune pisses on me

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GERMAN REFUGEES WELCOME

Somebody post the link to those Roman wall writings. You know the one.

>>379170382
reported

post about video games or go back 2 reddit

inb4 some butthurt loser posts a meme at me

>>379176234
http://www.pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti%20from%20Pompeii.htm

>>379176171
FUCK
GAULS

>>379172546
It's Istanbul now

>>379176304
>Ancient romans used to shitpost like we do now
Some things never change, huh

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>>379176295
>Announcing your report
>reddit spacing

>>379176339
t. Buttblasted Massilian

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>>379176304
>Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

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>>379176304
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1812: Caesius faithfully loves M[…name lost]

>>379176420
IT'S ANCIENT TIMES

>>379176304
>If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girl friend
FUCKING NORMIES

>>379176171
You see a bunch of blonde pale people, I see doctors, engineers, generals, philosophers, stonemasons, farmers, and carpenters

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>>379176304
>I don’t want to sell my husband, not for all the gold in the world
C-cute. That feel when no cute Roman wife

>>379176613
This reminds me of that shit was so cash pasta

>>379176304
>Epaphra is not good at ball games.
lol, casuals.

>>379176304
>Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.
How did he know all this?

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>>379172836
>Implying that filthy Carthaginians can cross the Alps

Perhaps he'll also bring an army of elephants.

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>>379176304
>Let everyone one in love come and see. I want to break Venus’ ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’ loins. If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head with a club?

>>379176304
>Celadus the Thracian gladiator is the delight of all the girls

what a baller

>>379176969
Roman /v/irgin

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>living in Rome instead of based Constantinople

Kek. Enjoy your barbarian raiders

>>379177121
t. '''''''''''''''''''roman'''''''''''''''''''''

>>379172149
>byzzies charge of not getting raped by arabs and turks
>greeks in charge of being roman

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What is the roman equivalent of guns, christ and oil?

>eastern """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((roman))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" empire

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>Ancient """"""""""""""""""""""Rome""""""""""""""""""""""

>>379177280
Gladius, Mars, and myrrh

TRIARIII

>>379177280
Swords, Caesar, and food

>>379177323
>(((basileia ton rhomaion)))

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Gods... I hate Gauls.

>>379177428
noice

>>379177280
Gladio, Jupiter, salt (or maybe purpura?).

>>379171701
>Empire criticising anyone of attacking others

TRUE ROMANS BREAD FOR TRUE ROMANS

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Romans? On my Cycladic pottery decorating forvm?
I wovld have words, /v/.

>>379177430
HASTATII

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>>379176662

>>379177616
Words fall from your mouth like shit from ass!

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>all mockeries of the jews and their one true god shall bekept to an appropriate minimum

what did he mean by this

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Haha. How does this make you little Roman bois feel?

>>379177831
GAIUS.

JULIUS.

CEASAR.

>>379177425
>holy
>roman
>empire

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>>379177708
Romans go home.

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>>379176304
Holy shit

>>379177425
Who is to say that they were not holy though?

>>379170382
Here we stand. Flavius and Augustus. Brothers in arms and friends forever.

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>WHO /XIIITH LEGION/ HERE???

>>379170382
why is our board called 5 again?
i wasnt even the 5th to be created

>>379178156
>smugpopeface.jpg

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THIRTHEENTH

>>379178209
Because we check 5s. Like this one.

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who /3rd rome/ here

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#PrayForGondor

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>>379177551
My grandfather hated them too, even before they put out his eyes.

>>379178456
3rd Rome is the biggest meme with Turks, Russians and Germans all sucking Roman dick and pretending to be what they're not for prestige

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What went right?

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The eternal city...

'Lesbianus, you defecate and you write, ‘Hello, everyone!’


oh my, /v/ traditions are older than I expected

>>379178456

>dark age Christian shithole

Yeah, no thanks. Constantine shitters need not apply either.

>>379179151
No that's Ottomans

>tfw Secundus shit on your doorstep again

>>379179216

They were also a shithole. I guess the Holy Roman Empire wasn't exactly dark age, but it was pre-enlightenment Europe, which is a shithole either way.

>>379176304
That cave is fucking 4chan.

>>379179284
No I meant that the picture in >>379178456 has Ottoman shit on it, not a dark age Christian shithole

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>>379179108

Thousands of years in the future people will look back at us and say "they were just like us." Shitposting makes us human

>>379179151
>christian dark ages

nice meme!

>>379176304

>'Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!'

That's fucking brilliant

>>379179108
So much defecation everywhere. Didn' the romans have toilets everywhere?

Everday when I get home I find my wife in the room with our man servant. It pains me to see that my wife has to keep an eye on this dark skinned bum to make sure he does his work. What should I do?

>>379179503
Fuck your wife once or twice for your child, fuck your boy slaves for pleasure

>>379179482

We ARE having the toilets everywhere. Now, look at average /v/ thread...

I was up by the wall today and the legion there told me they are pulling out of Britannia all together? What the fuck is going on? Who will protect us from the crazy ginger fucks?

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>>379178456
Say that to my fucking face, turk

Byzantian bully not so tough after Manzikert

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Just got myself a new asswipe.

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Rome was a good show.
Why did they cancel it only after 2 seasons?
Fucking Lucius and Titus were the bestest of bros

who wants to suck each other off by the vineyard?

I'd rather have a Carthaginian as my neighbour than one of those germ*nic barbarians.

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>>379175346
I AM THE SENATE

>>379180408
>HBO Chairman Chris Albrecht announced in a July 2006 news conference that season two of Rome would be its last, citing the fact that the series (called "notoriously expensive" by Broadcasting & Cable) had been developed under a two-year contract with the BBC that would have been difficult for the BBC to extend due to the series' cost.[25][26] Of the storyline, co-creator Heller said:
>“ I discovered halfway through writing the second season the show was going to end. The second was going to end with the death of Brutus. Third and fourth season would be set in Egypt. Fifth was going to be the rise of the Messiah in Israel. But because we got the heads-up that the second season would be it, I telescoped the third and fourth season into the second one, which accounts for the blazing speed we go through history near the end. There's certainly more than enough history to go around.[27]

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>>379177616
I don't know a lot about Roman History, all I know is that Caesar was a fucking badass and that he fucked shit up.
I fucking hated this series so much because I mean like I said I don't know a lot about Roman soldiers, but weren't they really really fucking good at fighting? The Romans I mean. how the fuck did they get their asses whooped for so long by a bunch of fucking Gladiators they had numbers around 100-1000 when Rome was fucking gigantic in numbers?
Can someone please explain to me why people liked this show at all?

>>379180408
HBO mentioned a few years ago that they regret cancelling it since the dvd sales are pretty high

HE WAS A CONSOLE OF ROME

Romans had it right all this time
If you don't want to deal with refugees in your borders, just conquer them

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>>379180961
>He actually thought this was a show you should take seriously
Toppest of keks.

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>>379181389
But was any of it kind of true though? I mean did the slaves IRL actually give the Romans a lot of trouble? Or was this just complete bullshit and the Romans actually massacred them?
Because fuck the Slaves

>>379181547
Look up the Third Serville war, you dofus.

>>379180961
Spartacus was a gladiator who did incite a slave rebellion and went up down Italy sacking, pillaging, and recruiting slaves, slaves were also escaping to join his cause, his origins are in dispute but bounces between a thracian who was caught fighting the romans or a thracian auxillary who desserted the romans and was captured and enslaved as punishment, so chances are he was at least vaguely aware of roman tactics and strategy, romans weren't actually the best they were just persistent and wouldn't accept peace till they had won, a good example of this is Fabio vs Hannibal.

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>>379176304

>Defecator, may everything turn out okay so that you can leave this place

Shitposting.

>>379181701
>>379181547
The proper armies were away from Rome. The Third Servile War only important point was getting Crassus and Pompey on bad terms. Caesar was a god among men.

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>>379181701
>Third Servile War
>Part of the Roman Servile Wars

>Date 73–71 BC
>Location Italy
>Result Decisive Roman victory

>Casualties and losses
>30,000 (including Crixus) killed by Lucius Gellius Publicola, 6000 crucified by Crassus, 5000 routed and crucified by Pompey, almost all others are killed or crucified

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>>379181320
*Sacks your capital*

>>379182107
If you're interested in Roman history, this channel is pretty fun:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU1Ej9Yqt68

>>379179404

>no one has running water or knows how to read
>it's a meme

Face it, Rome fell and Europe regressed in many ways.

>>379182083
>>379182107
Even if the rebels got rekt in the end, it's still an extremely rad war. What's not to like about an army of slaves and gladiators wrecking shit and holding their own for a while, then dying to the last man rather than being slaves?

>>379182851
Nothing, I'm just saying that the Caesar's whole life was more interesting by far.

>>379182851
>then dying to the last man rather than being slaves?

Fighting a war you cannot win is retarded

>>379170787
>what is ryse

>>379170608
Minime, habe (((tu))).

>>379182978
Oh, there's no denying that. Caesar was a top lad.
>>379183009
Yeah, but the circumstances here were somewhat different since it wasn't a nation or a real army, as much as a pissed off ragtag of slaves taking the only opportunity they had to do something about their shitty situation and then things escalated.

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>>379176561

>>379183072
Ryse was a tech demo that wasn't very good, I mean, I played it cause I love ancient Rome, but it was not even remotely good

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>>379183730

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>>379176304
> VII.12.18-20 (the Lupinare); 2175: I screwed a lot of girls here.

>>379178067
GAIVS
HVLIVS
KEASAR

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If Julius Caesar was a great man, why was he assassinated?

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>>379178456
Oh yeah, they're making Shoukoku no Altair anime
I should probably pick it back up

>>379179108
IIRC: The term "trivia" comes from the fact that the Romans tried to set up message boards along forks in the road (tri from 3 roads colliding) so that people could share news
Instead the people just used them as opportunities to make fun of people and spread useless information that no one needed

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>>379182420
>Historia Civilis
My brother

>Caligula has two scoops of dessert at the orgy.
>Two. Scoops.
It's over, CaPIGula is finished!

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I should buy a Trireme.

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>>379177848

>>379177848
Is that what happens when you lose a city?
I've never seen that screen before

>>379186478
>not just spamming biremes
IT'S THE WAY TO BEAT CARTHAGE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MYxtpGxGJI

ROMA VICTOR

>>379170382
Shagging boys isn't gay as long as the balls do not touch

>>379182434
I mean the Irish monks could read, but are the Irish really people?

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I need a Rome video game

If they don't announce a Rome game during the next year I'm gonna flip my shit

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>Romans
>Not Living in Egypt

Lol, how does it feel to be second Historical Class citizens, nigga?

>>379189421
>living in Egypt
Oh, Jamal, make sure the grain shipment comes in on time or I'll crucify your entire family

>>379183590
What is this?

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>tfw Centurion is actually fun to play with
nothing like the salt of weebs and barbarians to start the day off

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>>379170382
On the year MMXVII of Our Lord, I made bread.

>>379173798
Ryse Son Of Rome

>>379173798
When you say Ancient, do you mean:
the Kingdom?
the Republic?
the early Empire?