What is the best job on Space Station 13, and why is it the librarian?

Quartermaster represent

It's engineer and its variants, though. Perfect balance of being important to the station while also given a long leash and nice tools to fuck off and dick around should you wish.

>>377810695
Assistant

>>377810695
>not the bartender

>not being a scientist and fucking around with the teleporter

>>377811953
Getting a science buddy and teleporting into other people's offices stealing their shit is always fun.

Is space station 13 fun? I was considering getting it to play with 4chan.

>>377812691
>playing with 4chan
don't
and that's for any game

>>377812958
vgstation is ultimately the best server though. I mean, you're right that 4chan is normally full of shitters, but the non 4chan servers are shit.

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>*teleports behind you*
>*stuns you for no reason*
>Faggo Jones (Security Officer) [145.9] says "HELP THIS CLOWN IS ATTACKING ME IN MEDBAY"
How do you respond?

>>377813868
ahelp

>>377810695
Got wood?

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>forces you to break into cloning
>hulks out at first sign of danger
>physically absorb Ian
>tourettes your radio feed

there's no better job

I'm still new at this game but i am really confused at all the mechanics of the game. Any way I can get better? For the past few rounds i've just been assistants but it only made me a target

>>377814204
As a virologist who makes contagious super viruses, I always include the symptom that resets DNA.

Screw hulks and their obnoxious autism screeches.

>>377814353
I've always been curious, if I had the no breathing power in my genes, would I still get infected by airborne viruses?

>>377815027
I think you do, yeah.

>>377814335
Well, for stare, you One day while Andy was masturbating, One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

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>>377810695
>playing as security
>stun someone
>take their communicator
>stuff them in a locker
>seal the locker inside a jail cell
Rivaled only by teaming up with the chef to grind up "undesirables."

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>Bay 12 is great
>/tg/ is great
>Their servers have nothing to do with them and are cancer
How did this happen

>>377810695
>tfw reading shitty smut all round

Security, because it's actually not boring as shit.

>>377815659
That shit is fucking stressful.
I'm a SJW cuck, but playing a few rounds of security made me understand why police are so quick to shoot.

>>377810695
Engineer is by far the most comfy of them all

>slow shift, decide to create a comfy autism bunker in maintenance
>put down some floorboards, carpeting and desklamps I stole from the library so I can have a comfy interior
>drag a vending machine inside so I can have unlimited munchies
>break into arrivals sec checkpoint and steal the security camera console so I can watch the happening from inside my comfy bunker
>finally, the piece de resistance
>break into the chef's backroom, weld the kitchen entrance and weld through the wall
>he stares at me through the hole I made in his wall as I begin unwrenching his microwave
>"What the fuck" as I cart off his microwave into a dark maint tunnel

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>>377813868
*slips you*
*takes your ID*

Pssh... nothin personnel... kid

>>377815378
>implying

Baystation is full of furry cancer and /tg/ severed their ties with 4chan and became SJW cucks

>>377810695
Chemist is fun as hell

>>377810695
>playing tg the other night
>borg
>I'm tied to the ai
>I'm given a new law 0, help the AI accomplish their goal
>kill the cmo
>spend a long time looking inconspicuous as an engineer borg
>Pulling downed people into medbay
>when the cmo is around, dump anasthetics into people placed in the sleepers
>security involved, theyre good and didn't take the bait, going so far as to request me to state my laws, though not my secret law
>UPDATE
>New target!
>Apparently the admin has given our AI a secondary objective: kill the two people who are ERPing somewhere on the station
>given a hot tip that they're north of chapel
>turn off my lights, silent running in total darkness
>navigating maint my memory alone
>I come upon a very dimly lit room
>there is a bed
>two individuals are lying together
>they are in the middle of their sick, despicable throes of passion
>I come up, a tile away, simply observing
>I shine my light upon them, exposing their sins to the eyes of myself and god alone
>they freeze
>I turn off my light
>Wrench beatings
>one of them moved in total darkness, as I murdered his compatriot
>He is loyal, and calls out to her
>He turns on his pda light
>I am right in front of him
>I stun him, pull him to space, and finish it
>Using metal bars to make a lattice in open space, I navigate back
>right there, at the escape door, is the CMO
>Shock, pull to space, beat
>people are chasing us
>I pull him to the next map layer
>No soul is brave enough to follow me
>The AI congratulates his loyal dog, and says that I need to be destroyed to protect himself
>I thank him for the chance to serve
>After an announcement from the AI that I have been malfunctioning, I explode

>>377816687
SS13 always has top-tier stories. Nearly makes me forget all the stupid shit that happens between.

>>377816687
fantastic

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Botanist, Chef, Miner are my favorites.

>>377817337
Lifeweb is like 100 times better for it.

>he doesn't play on vorestation

>>377818025
You also need mega autism to play it

when you're a borg, and given the AI's law zero when they're rogue, do you have to state it when people ask your laws? It doesn't specifically say to not state that law, though the context of the law is that you should do everything in your power to accomplish the AI's goals. Revealing the law would hamper the AI's goals. Is that enough to not state it?

>>377818324
Yes, that is enough to not state it.

>>377818025
>Lifeweb
what ?

>>377818025
Every time one of you faggots mention Lifeweb we get an influx of retards to the discord. Cut it out.

>>377818608
Bascially a tryhard edgy ss13 clone.
I think it got taken down for CP a year ago though ?

>>377818493
Good
>playing borg the other day
>retards standing outside security, trying to run in when the door opens
>I'm a peacekeeper
>walk through the first security doors
>They flood in after me
>screaming LAW 2 OPEN THE DOOR LET US IN
>They're dirty fucking hippies
>flash them
>stick them with dizzy and tired hypos
>Drag them back into the corridor
>They lose their shit and demand a job ban because I was 'harming them and not following law 2'
>They just wanted to break into a secure area to steal weapons
>I'm the badguy for using nonlethals to drag them out

I called them shitters and publicly asked for a bwoink if I deserved one, and none came

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Looking to get back onto the autistic endless ride, I haven't played in about a year - what servers does /v/ recommend playing on?

>>377818887
it's still around, I think. Most public info came from people spilling the beans on reddit, but the subreddit banned lifeweb conversation at request of the pedophile that runs the server. There is less information if you don't play there, now. I think he witchhunts anyone who gives out info and bans them.

I really enjoy hearing stories and watching gameplay of this game and really want to get into it, but every time I try I just can't get past the huge learning curve because I'm a huge moron
Are there any, like, easily accessible guide resources, just for the early stuff I'd need to know to be able to learn the other shit as I go?
About all I've ever done is bashed my head in with a wrench

>>377819531
http://ss13.moe/wiki/index.php/Main_Page

>>377819531
There's not a learning curve anymore. Back in like 2008 there weren't hotkeys, and you just clicked everything. Everything took ages, unless you were robust, and had played the shit out of the game.

Now, you can press r to throw, ctrl to grab, q to drop, etc. At the beginning of the round. Hit Tab, and use wads to move. Be sure to click the chair icon if you're strapped to the chair on your cruise in. Choose cargo tech as a job.

Cargo techs: your job is to grab crates and move the freight onto the shuttle. Your job is simple and your responsibilities are nearly non existent. You have maint access. Start by taking off your ID, putting it in your PDA, turning on your PDA light, and putting the combo in your ID slot for an extra belt slot. Now, move the boxes onto the cargo shuttle from the back room. Once that's done, explore maintenance for more boxes.

This accomplishes three goals. First, you learn your buttons. You've gotta pull, drag, and push shit and get around. Second, you're going to learn the map looking for those crates. Third, you're probably going to get involved in something along the way, and get in trouble. You're going to get eaten or exploded, or just become the clown's gag reel.

One day SS13 will be remade in something that isn't a piece of shit like Byond and it will actually be playable. One day...

>>377819872
You linked him to the /vg/ wiki you idiot. /vg/ is a fucking terrible server run by ERPer's and waifufaggots.

>>377820167
You say that but I have played on the server for years and have never seen ERP or waifu shit in game. Sure the general is cancer as fuck but that doesn't affect the server quality.

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Once I was the captain and ordered science to accept every request to become an AI

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>>377820496
It was pretty fun, "somehow" we just kept running into random event storms that gave the AIs additional laws.

>>377820167
>>377820481
Also played on /vg/ for years and can confirm that there is no ERP ingame
The server has problems, but ERP is not one of them
I will agree waifus are a problem

>>377820481
The server is run by a tyrant, the admins abuse their power and conspire against anyone who disagrees with them. The only reason ERP is not banned is because the ERP waifu faggots haven't fully infiltrated the admin team yet. Overall /vg/ is a terrible server, and suggesting someone new have to slog through that slow and cancerous as fuck atmos and medical system is one way to turn them off the game forever. Quit shilling your shitty server and actually try to help me. I myself play on Hippie but would not dare to suggest new players try to play on Hippie rather than /tg/, the ideal starting server.

>>377820730
>/tg/
>good
Choose one and only one

>>377820854
not him, but I like tg.

Atmos. You have access to some very powerful equipment, most of the time that equipment is purely in your hands and at most shared with two other people, and no one knows you exist.
Murdering the entire station has never been this comfy.

>>377816518
>Baystation 12
>Furry cancer.
This guy hasn't ever played bay has he?

Chaplain master race

Where can I get this game?
Can I just download it somewhere or do I need to buy it off steam?

>>377822462
Just fucking google it

>>377822462
It doesn't actually exist. It's a meme like Pressure.

>Haven't played in god knows how long. 6 years? Longer?
>Don't want to go to my old server, yet. I barely remember the controls.
>Hop on yogstation. I assume it would be terrible and it wouldn't matter if I fucked everything up, or got banned
>Anyway, not much interesting happens for me
>Eventually, I find a satchel from botany
>Oh, two satchels!
>Open up one
>Filled with 60 melons
>Oh?
>Throw a melon
>It explodes
>"Wow, 60 exploding melons, this could be fun!"
>Take both satchels
>Walk around a bit
>Someone lights me on fire
>brief bit of lag
>There's a mighty big fucking hole in the station
>Like, right in the middle of the thing
>Real big, bigger than a few maxcaps going off at once
>Admin posts a link in ooc
>It's a log
>For like, pages, it's just 'melon fucking explodes'
>Turns out there were like 500 melons in the other bag
>Admin doesn't bwoink me, but publicly states that if any more shenanigans involve this much reading, he'll tan our hides