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Meanwhile, at the USG /v/shimura

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 253
Thread images: 41

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>Music playing in the distance
>I'M THE KING OF THE RUMBA PETE
>>
>>377686667
i liked dead space 3. only complete faggots who dont know what a bad game is hate it
>>
Dead Space is 10 years old.
>>
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Guys, where's the toilet paper? I want to give that janitor prick a good time.
>>
Swear to fucking god if someone doesn't stop shitting in the hydroponic chutes I'm going to kill someone.

Seriously stressing me out, i'm starting to hear voices because of it.
>>
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>>377687269
Probably in the vents, everything ends up in there lately
>>
>>377687396
Now that you mention it, there's been so much goddamn thumping coming from the vents. What the hell are the engineers even doing in them?
>>
HONK HONK
>>
>>377687631
>Tight confines
>No one except engineers up there

I know exactly what they're doing up there.
>>
>>377686667
dead space should have ended with 1
>>
>>377686667
>twinkle twinkle little star

was just listening to that funnily enough. It's oddly comforting.
>>
>>377687695
STOP HONKING
LAST WARNING
>>
>>377687695
WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE A CLOWN ON THE SHIP

>>377686667
AND WHOEVER THIS CUBAN PETE FAG IS WANTED FOR QUESTIONING
>>
BLARGHHHHHHGABTSFGNJa
>>
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>>377687804
BOOM CHICKY BOOM
>>
to the fucking idiots who keep turning off the automatic mode on the Asteroid Defense guns to shoot at space rocks, I hope when you miss one its the one that flies straight into your fucking face
>>
Just you guys wait untill you see this rock we picked up. It's crazy.
>>
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>>377687631
I'll tell you what they ain't doing, fixing the god damn vending machines, i swear to god if i don't have my snack by this evening i'm going to start leaving my shit on stasis at the main corridor.
>>
>>377687904
JESUS FUCK WAS THAT AN EXPLOSION
THAT BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN AN EXPLOSION
JESUS FUCK I SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH NANOTRASEN.
>>
>>377687950
dude put it back, theres some weird red aura around it
>>
>>377687904
LYNCH THE RD
>>
>>377687695
AHHHHHHHHHHH
STOP HONKING
>>
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>>377688039
ITS VERY NICE
SO FULL OF SPICE
>>
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>>377686667
Uhh, guys, just got back from the deck 1 anyone knows if the Unis are throwing a party? They are all wearing a wrap hat or something
>>
>>377686667
Okay which one of you faggots smeared blood all over the stalls in the med bay's restrooms? It's not funny guys I almost shit my pants trying to find a clean stall
>>
>>377689437
Haha fag, why don't you go shit in the vents like all the other meddies?
>>
>>377689595
Those vents are fucking creepy dude every time I walk near one I hear some engineer fag moaning and shit. I'm not putting my asshole anywhere near that
>>
THERE'S FUCKING GIANT BUGS IN THE VENTS STAY CLEAR OF TH
>>
>>377689715
Have you seen the posters in mess haul 2? The uni's are giving out free earphones if you just stare at that stupid fucking rock for a bit every week, the music selection is..weird but it should help you shit in peace
>>
>>377686667
Jim down in engineering just got his arm taken off by one of those plasma cutters, who the fuck thought they were a good idea. Me and a couple of the other guys are thinking about taking it up with the union and going on strike, this is a fucking joke

Also, while we were in medical, some crazy doctor bitch cut her throat with a hack saw, why does this keep on happening here? fuck this ship
>>
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>>377689967
>>
>>377689996
Good luck trying to convince the engineers to willingly give up their plasma cutters. Those things are practically fucking sacred to them
>>
>>377688013
Oh good it's a
>Fatass /sci/tards need their freeze dried tendies episode
>>
>>377689967
We're in the endless void of deep space how the fuck did we get a bug infestation
>>
>>377686667
fucking weebs get out rrreee this is normie area!
>>
>>377690194
Creeps me out..what if (((they))) brought them in?
>>
Who's drawing penises on the asteroids?
What's next? Ring jumping competitions?
>>
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>>377690287
W-who is ((they))?
>>
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>>377690194
>>377690287
space crabs
>>
Anyone else feel...powerful in med bay 6?

I was attaching a lattice stitch to some retarded engie and I sliced his toe clean off with my laser scalpel, it was fucking great, he couldn't do anything but scream!
>>
>>377690417
there is no ''''they'''', our fellow crewmate is just trying to be funny. By the way, your invited to a little get together down in cargo hold 3. Meet over buy the large obelisk
>>
>>377690450
>space crabs
Did you forget to take your meds you dumb uni
>>
>>377690570
Will there be snacks there or am I going to have to bring my own
>>
>>377690570
I'm going to piss on that rock!
Take that you sick fucks
>>
GUYS SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG

WE JUST GOT AN EVACUATION AND QUARANTINE ORDER FROM MED-LABS

SOMETHING ABOUT REANIMATED CORPSE AND AN ALIEN PATHOGEN

PLEASE EVAC YOUR WORKSTATIONS AND USE WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY TO GET TO THE NEAREST ESCAPE SHUTTLE

TRY AND AVOID CONTACT WITH INFECTED PERSONNEL IF POSSIBLE, SHIT IS GOING DOWN AND I SURE AS HELL AIN'T STAYING HERE

DON'T BOTHER SHOOTING THEM, JUST RUN! GUNSHOTS DO FUCK ALL

I REPEAT EVACUATE ASAP
>>
>>377686995
I agree, DS2 just didn't have the same brooding atmosphere without an abandoned ship/colony.

And for all the crying about COOP, at least the you can play it alone 100% w/o an AI partner unlike RE5 and RE6.
>>
>>377690673
Go back to bed grandpa the ship is fine
>>
>>377690673
THE ESCAPE PODS IN SECTION 3 ARE COVERED IN SOME KIND OF FLESHY WALL THING

THE ENGIE WITH ME IS SAYING SOME SERIOUS OMINOUS SHIT RIGHT NOW, HOW FUCKED AM I BROS?
>>
>>377690797
Anon. Run.
>>
>>377690673
Nice fucking bait, engi-fag. How many times will you guys try this? Go back to jerking it in the vents.
>>
>>377690730
DUDE I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING I JUST SAW DR. HARBIN CHASE AFTER THAT HOT INTERN FROM THE EMERGENCY WARD

MOTHERFUCKER HAD BONES GROWING OUT HIS PALMS AND HAD NEARLY FUCK ALL IN TERMS OF INTESTINES

I CAN'T KEEP REPLYING NOW, I NEED TO GET TO THE SHIPSHDEE9Y €^=39@"00₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩) ₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩
>>
guys, the voices keep telling me to disembowel my wife. Wat do?
>>
>>377687631
anybody remember whats his name that crawled up in the vents last year and started living in them? last i heard he booby trapped them harder than vietnam
>>
Medical here, all the artificial wombs are empty. Where the fuck are the babies?
>>
>>377690882
Anon before you die I need you to answer a very important question. Is the hot intern okay? I've been trying to fuck her for weeks and I'm not going to let some medfag get in my way
>>
>>377690956
I say go for it i just did it to mine and it felt.... satisfying.
>>
>>377690956
Eh, flip a coin
>>
wait a second guys, why there is a fucking loli inside the ship? i need some volunteers to hunt her down
>>
>>377691036
What does she look like?
>>
Guys, I told the new guy he could get around the ship quickly through the vents, it was funny for a while but he hasn't come out for a while and won't respond. What do I do?
>>
>>377690882
>AND HAD NEARLY FUCK ALL IN TERMS OF INTESTINES
wait...you mean that its "normal" to have intestines?

you fucking medfags are just....just
>>
>>377691069
All lolis look the same anon
>>
>>377690956

Don't listen to them! You dont have a wife!
>>
>>377691097
probably fell into whats his face traps >>377690962
>>
>>377691069

what kind of question is that, it's a fucking loli

1 meter tall, blonde and skinny, flat and in searching of hug and pathead
>>
>>377691007
A-anon i dont know how to tell you this, but ah--um well she was coming over to me, and it was was kind of hot at first but i noticed she was all fucked up and started trying to bite me and shit. long story short i decapitated her with a buzz saw. Ah im going to lay low for a bit, i feel like this might have repercussions
>>
>>377691036
WTF dude have you never been to the med bay? Prosthetic sector has a shit ton of lolis man, take your pick.
>>
>>377691097
Comms here, I just heard over the radio that security just found 47 dismembered corpses in the vents. And half the ship is in lockdown. These Engi pranks need to STOP.
>>
>>377690971
Why do why even have babies in here? I'd preffer more birds desu
>>
EVERYONE LISTEN TO ME

NO MATTER WHAT WILL HAPPEN, NEVER FORGET THE BASIC RULE TO SURVIVE OR YOU WILL END DEAD FOR SURE

YOU NEED T-
>>
>>377691148
God fucking damn it. I'll start growing some replacement limbs
>>
>>377690971
shit someone took the lolis?
>>
>>377690971
>>377691036
i see you.
>>
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Reinforcements have arrived
>>
ok i know we are in the future, but goddammit why this girl have a penis?
>>
Janitor here;

Reminder to everyone to stop writing messages in blood on the walls.

It's impossible to get off.
>>
>>377691219
Those little fuckers are clones we grow to provide spare parts for you guys in the event of mining accidents. And now they're all fucking missing
>>
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>>377691163
>but i noticed she was all fucked up and started trying to bite me and shit
wtf dude? you not into that kinda shit?
FUCKING NORMIES OFF MY /VEE/SHIMURA
>>
>>377691097
Vents are comfy as fuck, probably met some cute engie in there and they are making a family
>>
>>377691335
>cute engie
how would you know theyre cute if they never take their masks off???
>>
Protip: Playing dead space 2 with the music turned to 0 really improves the experience
the action music during tense scenes and violin screeches when you see an enemy dont help the mood, replacing them with silence works a treat
>>
>>377691335
shut up you false flagging engie fucker. I know you just want more people to die in the vents. Twisted fuck.
>>
>>377691218
Fuck off with your boys club and stop hogging the vents.
>>
>>377691289
>Beefcake Company
Oh great
What are they going to do? Make them feel uncomfortable? Give them HIV?
>>
>>377691408
Violins? The fuck are you talking about? Maybe you should go to medbay.
>>
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>There are people on this ship, right now, that legitimately use Peng
How do I distance myself away from these "people"?
>>
>>377691163
Uh yeah about that mate, I was actually watching from the vents and that absolutely did not happen like that. Basically she walked up to you asking for directions to the escape pods and you started screaming "MAKE US WHOLE" or something while flailing around with a buzz saw. It was pretty fucking weird dude
>>
>>37769143
>>377691430
>>377691218
Engie here, can confirm the vents are completely safe and are actually pretty comfy, dont believe there lies, if you here noises coming from one, its probably one of our cute engie gfs, be sure to pop in and say hi to her
>>
Hey dudes, Im making a ritual sacrifice party at the crew quarters hall. Everyones invited.
>>
Am I the only one that refers to necromorphs as niggers when playing?
>>
guys! i thought we FUCKING AGREED to STOP growing weed in fucking hydroponics! now earthgov is STILL bitching at me about it so ill tell ya what, i got a fresh clone of that hot intern >>377691163 killed just out of medbay and i may or may not have "accidentally" made her a nymphomaniac so just please cut this shit out and fuck her instead

t. bridge fag
>>
>>377691408
I will try that. Thanks for the tip. I didn't think that the noise was tied to the music volume.
>>
>have Dead Space and Dead Space 2 on origin
>never even installed them
>really intrigued about the story so have read everything in wiki, comics and saw the two animation movies
>toi much of a pussy to play the actual games

Fuck
>>
>>377691575
Of course, cute engie gfs (male)
>>
>>377691606
What the fuck is a necromorph?
>>
Comms here again. Security is telling me people are eating each other in hydroponics is everything ok down there?
>>
>>377691673
i know your an engie fag falseflagging ya faggot
really???
>>
>>377691691
Uh, had a slight marker malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?
>>
>>377691686
Joke's on you fag they call them that in-game.
>>
>>377691712
Medfag actually, I've seen everyone's profiles.
>>
>>377691606
negromorphs
>>
>>377686995
I hated dead space 3, it lacked the atmosphere needed for a Dead Space, had the regenerator moment too early and shoehorned(although well presented I give them that), lacked enemies and difficulty and added the worst TPS shooting with people that I ever seen(and those moments were wasted when we know how well they could have interacted with the necros)

By the end it didn't know if it wanted to be a horror game or an action game, which happens during the rest of the campaign but sometimes is more horror and sometimes is more action.
>>
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>>377686667
Hey guys check out my new gf
>>
>>377691665
They're not scary outside of jump scares.
>>
>>377691847
That's my rock! Don't post pictures of my rock, delete this.
>>
>>377691847
are you the fucker that jizzed on that rock 7 times yesterday?
>>
>>377691803
The only thing we have on this ship is a xenomorph. I have no fucking clue what a necromorph is
>>
>>377691506
Yeah, Skub is totally better
>>
>>377691665
I understand how you feel, but just go for it. You will get comfortable with it after the first two to three chapters, I want to say. At least by chapter four, you'll be comfortable. The starting chapters in Dead Space 1 are the most intense due to learning the mechanics and starting off with roughly scarce resources. It's not too bad after that and you'll have upgrades to help circumvent the helplessness.
>>
>>377691890
That's because you're a grunt pleb who nobody tells anything. I'll just be collecting my 6 figures working medical while you toil away on space rocks fag.
>>
>>377691545
haha good one man, mind if we meet up and talk about this? where are you? are you in the vents because im in the vents, Ill just look for you
>>
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>>377691847
Mining deck here can i see some more pics?
>>
>>377691097
Yet another soul claimed by the vents.
>>
>>377691962
Fuck off dude this is my hiding spot I don't want you to blow my cover
>>
STOP FUCKING STEALING THE MINING TOOLS TO SHOOT SODA CANS. WE'RE IN SPACE GODDAMMIT.
>>
>>377691769
Air filtration here is someone smoking a lot of pot in hydroponics cause im getting some weird readings.
>>
UNITOLOGY IS CANCER, AND ALL PRACTICERS SHOULD BURN IN HELL
>>
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>>377691961
I'd rather be poor than a dirty medfag
>>
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>>377691847
Holy shit, moar
>>
>>377692042
looks like the fun police is here again, i wish you security fags would just fuck off, when have you even done anything useful
>>
>>377691847
FUCK YOU. AND FUCK YOUR MARKER.

... OH GOD, STOP.
>>
This is your captain speaking! If you look out the port side window, you'll be able to see anime planet; a place where anime is real!
>>
Can anyone tell me why Bob from accounting is missing his arms?!?!?
>>
>>377691665
For fucks sake anon! You suck!
>>
>>377691858
>>377691949

It's the jumpscares exactly, really hate that shit. Was traumatized as a kid when I played AvP and didn't know what a facehugger was.

I'm going for it though, my palms are getting sweaty already
>>
uhmm I went to get a new plasma cutter at the store but it must've glitched or something because I can order a fucking combat rifle? is it real or what I'm too scared to confirm purchase
>>
>>377692197
no balls
>>
>>377692197
Sexurity here. Weve recently found out there is a shitload of rogue engis in the vents and we are gonna need some help
>>
>>377692187
A lot of them are predictable or even foreshadowed if you pay attention, like seeing a fast shadow move and then the monster pops up when you move closer.
>>
>>377691847
Sweet mother of Jesus! Can me and the rest of the guys in the med-bay have some more pics? I wanna have a good time to take my mind off of the fact that a few fingers of the miners who died planet-side have begun twitching randomly...
>>
>>377692276
Fuck off sexurity! Your succubi officers wont suck my balls dry!
>>
>>377692093
Uh, uh, negative, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak... very dangerous. Don't you fucking rat us out it took us months to grow weed in these conditions.
>>
>>377691989
>>377692152
Shes pure you sick fuckers
>>
Hey guys, new engineer, just transferred in. Im in the ship bay and all the doors are locked. I got that new shipment of plasma cutters with me too. Where is everyone? . I-is someone watching me from the vent?
>>
>>377692185
Jeff here from accounting, everything is ok, last time i checked all of Bob's members were stacked at the same pile
>>
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>>377692362
Can you fucktards in hydroponics get your shit together? Steve from mineral processing is telling me there is live octopi swinging around tentacles n shit in food storage.
>>
>>377692187
I had a similar issue going in since my brother pranked me with the jumpscare maze game when I was a kid. It made me overly cautious of anything flash-related and other similar media. I went in Dead Space with that fear still with me and came out fine. I'd argue that this game will give you a small resistance to jumpscares. Either way, enjoy.
>>
>engineering has sealed themselves off and have begun praying to their new found god of "rey ak tour"
>they have made a shanty town and are filling the upper decks with smoke from their fire pits and ritual sacrifices
Can someone please stop this? I can barely get to the hangar bay without getting piked and dragged off.
>>
>>377691606

I've taken to calling them ventniggers.
>>
Cargo officer here. Just received a package addressed for "the Engineers in the Vents". I got some guys to go through it for inspection, and all we found were oddly shaped phallic objects, and a sender called "BadDragon Inc.". Can one of you idiots come down here and claim this package so I don't have to crawl through those fucking vents. For fuck's sake guys!
>>
>>377692438
Oh dont worry, it's just the engineers lurking inthe vents.
If the doors wont open soon, start cutting them open.
>>
>>377692438
trust me, drop them, right now, and switch departments TO ANYTHING ELSE
>>
>>377692404
Pure sex you mean, she'd drive me crazy in bed
>>
>>377692485
Yeah well Steve from mineral processing is a fucking unifag that whispers to a giant red rock all day. I wouldn't trust anything he says
>>
Come to vent D4 for a good time

xox
>>
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>>377692497
Im investigating right now but i have like 500 reports of some weird ass orgy in mineral processing and i ju--------
>>
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>>377692579
Don't do this, the freak has 4 arms.
>>
>>377692579
>>377692618
>4 arms
You have my attention
>>
>>377692618
>fivesome handjobs
>>
>>377692618
>4 arms

8 boobs.
>>
Some voices in the vents are telling me to go to the morgue for a good time. wat do?
>>
What the fuck are the faggots at the tram stations doing? I came in earlier to investigate what the fuck is going on, and all I saw were you fucking retards racing each other on the trams! Even worse, one of the trams has fucking crashed because of you incompetent retards!
>>
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>>377692642
>>377692656
>>377692671
I fucking hate working here.
>>
>>377692579
>>377692618
>>377692642
She doesnt have any anymore, have enough of this shit, im purging all degenerates and taking this ship back,i dont give a fuck what the rock fags say, that thing is going
>>
>>377692731
The future is now old man
>>
>>377692797
Old men, are the future!
>>
Umm guys? I went to take a fat shit earlier, and when I went to wipe my ass, some fleshy thing wiped it for me, then disappeared down the pipe. Is Johnson from plumbing sending snake cameras up the pipage to spy on asses and pussies? If so, he's spying on the wrong fucking bathroom.
>>
Has Dave finally died?

Thank fuck. Now we vent fags can play shit darts without him. Anyone want in? We are using medfags and their offices.
>>
>>377692870
No, Dave just moved over to the engineering.
Which is why we all are in the vents now.
>>
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>>377692864
Oh It wasn't the wrong restroom
>>
>>377692931
This cannot end well
>>
>>377692864
Johnson here. My cams are all set up correctly, must have been someone else

On a side note, could everyone please get the fuck out of my vents
>>
>>377692864
hey atleast the asshole stopped putting stasis traps IN THE WRONG BATHROOM
>>
>>377692931
Have you met our pet spike?

Haven't seen him in days. Last seen him with those Unitologists.
>>
If i see 1 more engi DIPSHIT running around with his plasma cutter on at the bridge im going to tell richard from the mining deck that you hate red rocklike obelisks.
>>
>>377692972
So yeah, Dave just somehow generated a fucking sandstorm that blows through out the engineering levels AND he mined and trapped the place.
>>
>>377690417
CEC
>>
>>377693029
Jesus that one dude got it rough. Imagine having to stand still as shit slowly flew at your face
>>
Guys, I had to drop a report off at the Bridge from engineering, and while I was there I noticed how it's got 4 story tall windows and a suspended platform over...nothing at all. I mean, we all know this place is old, but it was always designed as a planet cracker, yeah? Flying into asteroid fields? Who thought this was a good idea?

I mean us guys down on the lower decks don't have room to walk past eachother and the crew bunks are sheds, but they really needed the huge open bridge? Was the designer using PENG or something?


>>377692731

I saw one of those cunts trying to z-ball between the live rails last week. I swear, they're going to jam up the whole system.
>>
Hey guys, anyone notice how all the weird shit started happening when we got that red rock thing? i think we should get rid of it desu
>>
>>377691408
there was music in DS2?
>>
>>377690956
You may not have a wife, but is your waifu telling you to?

If so, then frag them all, to bring her (or him, I ain't judging your freaky ass tastes) to life!
>>
>>377693059
So let me get this right, not only has a populated deck been mined harder than Eastern Europe, but the babies- AKA the fuckers we use to grow replacement limbs- are still missing? This is gonna be a clusterfuck
>>
>>377693165
That's my rock, if you touch it I'm gonna stomp your fucking teeth in.
>>
This is the Nostromo, we are here to pick up the minerals... and the bonus situation.
>>
>>377693165
That's some fucking anti-unitologist bullshit and I'm tired of fucking hearing it. If anything that red rock is the only thing keeping us alive
>>
>>377693165

The last guy who suggested that got thrown into the blast furnace. There's a weird guy in medic who's organising it.


>>377692036

You vent fucks are going to be purged when we make drydock. They're going to go tunnel rats on you lot, nerve gas and all.
>>
>>377693240
How much does Ripley charge for her "services"? The only girls on this ship are either landwhale medfags, vent neets, or Unitologist apologists and I need to relive some stress.
>>
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>>377693240
Bonus?
>>
comms here. Im getting reputable reports of free candy being in the vents in mineral processing. You guys should check it out.
>>
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>>377693478
>he doesnt know about the trap brothel hidden in the vents
>>
>>377693478
If you take our creature with you, we can arrange something.

>>377693509
Parker has been asking for it. [spoiler[Got that picture explaining the evolution of the bonus situation?
>>
>[145.9]: HELP
>>
>>377693531

Didn't you guys go offline last week?
>>
>>377693558
>trap brothel
Nice try vent cuck but I'm not falling for your tricks
>>
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>>377693558
These vent degenerates need to be taken care of already. They have made every room smell like shit.
>>
>>377693618
oh that was just a small little bit of business with security. We took care of it :^)
>>
>>377693579
Deal. I don't even fucking care what kind of creature it is. It can't possibly be worse than the shit we have
>>
>>377693657
Sounds like a janitor fag can't handle shit darts and stasis fapping
>>
>>377693640
hey i get a bonus for every client i bring in
you get to pick any outfit for them to wear for 20 credits more
>>
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>>377693753
any outfit?
>>
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>>377693750
These floors are my pride and joy. I take care of them with all my heart, you treat them like a condom dumpster. Next time I see one of you vent dwellers I'm going to break your legs.
>>
>>377686995
>all those repeated side-quests that all ended with a combat arena.
>side-quests locked as coop only
>shit leveling system and weapon upgrades
>>
>>377693681

Hey buddy, did my video get through to titan station? should have been 'two girls one peng'.ddv

I keep trying to get up to comms but every time I go near the access hallway something presses its ass up to the vent cover and screeches at me.
>>
>>377693905
If you are going to complain about anyone, complain about Unitoligists who mass sacrifice on those floors or Engineers who keep plasma cutting them. We throw shit at them to stop.
>>
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Guys that cute medgirl (you know the one, the non-landwhale) says she'll date me if I get a forehead piercing

I dunno what it is but Dr Mercer's doing them for free should I go for it
>>
>>377693984
Comms here. We got your video but John from security took it off the drive and said he needed to confiscate it. Also there is no one in the vents stop being delusional. The mining deck engineers told me they confirmed that.
>>
>>377694245
>forehead piercing
>not getting a brain piercing
fucking casuals
>>
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Hey guys, new to the job, first day here. Mind letting me in on somethings so I can get a feel of the place? By the way I saw some guy through a crack in the vent, he didn't have any pants on. Is that normal?
>>
>>377694645
Welcome aboard cadet. The vents are a land of wonder and mystery
>>
>>377694645
Is your ass now hurting and blue aura is around you?
>>
>>377694645
yes
>>
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>>377694645
There is literally free money in the vents. The vent fairy is very generous. Also avoid the cargo hold there is some fuckshit going on down there.
>>
>>377686667
Why are you pairing The Mask with DS and why does it work so well?
>>
Hey guys, medifag here. Is anyone else getting really tired of all the lights shutting off whenever you go through decontamination? I've started carrying a plasma cutter with me because it spooks me so much
Also I bet none of you fags can beat my score in zero-g b-ball
>>
You know what guys, I'm tired of just being me. I want to be you too. Let's all be each other.
>>
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>>377694705
>>377694720
>>377694731
>>377694786
Uhm, I've been assigned to go into the vents for "maintenance". I've been told some people in there are supposed to show me the ropes. I hope it's as good as you all said. Well here I go.
>>
>>377695074
that autist daquayquay from security has the best score in z-ball so shut the fuck up scrub.
>>
>>377695187
Not since the scores reset last week, I heard that bothered his autism so much he started cutting his arms off and shit.
>>
>>377695181
As long as you don't touch muh body pillows
>>
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>>377695181
Hydroponics here. Youll need some of this special elixir before you get to far into your training.
>>
>>377695278
Its a shame his rap battle vs markerlicious was on point.
>>
>>377695302
>Alien invasion going on outside.
>Close your blinds and go back to watching animes
>>
WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKS SET UP A PUNJI SPIKE TRAP IN THE VENT WHICH JIZZ ON IT??? FUCK THAT HURT YOU ASSHOLE
>>
Janitor here, will you faggots stop throwing things around with kinesis. I'm tired of you engi tards throwing your severed arms around and shit, it keeps falling out of the vents
>>
File: IMG_5688.png (188KB, 800x375px) Image search: [Google]
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USG ISHIMURA, THIS IS THE SR2 NORMANDY

WEVE HEARD YOUR DISTRESS BEACON FROM ACROSS A THE GALAXY

WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?
>>
>>377695610
distress beacon?
did dave pull the fire alarm again?
>>
>>377695610
WE HAVE TOO MANY HOT ALIEN BITCHES PLEASE SEND HELP
>>
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Has anyone seen Captain Malthus? That guy owes me 350 credits. if I don't replace my rig suit by tommorrow, they say i'm going on the ADS run suit or not.

>>377695181

I hope it's over quick, rookie.
>>
>>377695593
Engi here. You can kiss my ass blesphemer the day will come when we rise up and exterminate you huma-- i mean non engi scum.
>>
>>377695610
Fuck off we're full
>>
>>377695715
Listen here you vent crawling nigs just because you have your secret BDSM sex dungeons doesn't mean you're better than everyone else
>>
Why do we even have so many goddamn vents anyway.
>>
>>377696054
Fuck you my feet get hot at night
>>
Why do the voices keep telling me to slit my throat? Does anyone else feel like they're going crazy?
>>
>>377696128
So you're the faggot who's sending this godawful smell all across the ship, you need to pay a visit to the medical deck.
>>
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>>377696183
fucking lucky
mine only keep repeating "cock" over and over to me
>>
>>377696340
What did they mean by this?
>>
>>377696340
Are you in the vents? Maybe I can please the voices in your head if you know what I'm saying.
>>
>>377696405
i dont know buy they
DONT
SHUT
UP
>>
>>377696227
Man do you have any idea how hard it is working in the engine room? My feet get fucking sweaty
>>
Uh...Well the good news is I found the babies...
>>
>>377686995
i would even like ds3 only if you remove crafting, universal ammo and co-op gameplay. the arena horde mode only gameplay ruined completely the whole game for me
>>
Guys is the R.I.G lighting liquid toxic when imbibed? Asking for a friend.
>>
>>377696645
>a friend

We all know it's you matt stop ''brushing'' up against us.
>>
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Goddamn it you faggots where the fuck are all the semiconductors? Also who the hell is pulling out the power nodes from supply room doors? I can't get any work done now, you fucktards.
>>
Has anybody been feeling weird recently? My skin has been itching and I've been throwing up. There are these two lumps on my back that keep growing everyday. I would go to the medbay but those nurses freak me out
>>
>>377691408
replayed ds2 a lot but never thought of that. might try this on the next one
>>
>>377693581
>[145.9]: HELP IM BEING KILLED BY THE RD WITH A ESWORD IN THE MEDBAY SURGERY HALLWAY
>[145.9]: HELP PLEASE
>[145.9]: where
>>
>>377691847
Imagine being Isaac in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Marker, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tightly shaped body and horrific necromorphed children
>>
>>377697036
Please someone respond I think I'm hearing voices now
>>
>>377696624
And? Gimmie a sit rep on the lolis
>>
>>377692575
Steve just invited me to dinner. s-should i go?
>>
>>377697503
I found a bunch of them crawling around in lower medical and...Well...They seem to have turned into hentai creatures. They've got tentacles growing out of their backs.
>>
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>>377693579
>Got that picture explaining the evolution of the bonus situation?
>>
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>>377697574
>>
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WHO THE FUCK TOOK THE POWER NODE FROM THE BATHROOM DOOR?
NOT FUNNY, GUYS. SERIOUSLY IM GOING TO SHIT ON YOUR FUCKING DESK!
>>
Hey, you guys have a moment to talk about our lord and savior The Moon?
>>
So I went into a stall in the bathroom today and there was a bunch of blood and literal shit smeared all over the walls. Anyone know what's going on?
>>
Jesus Christ Sandy, stop growling and come out of the bathroom I need a fuckin shower
>>
>>377697869

kek

Good luck finding a toilet now the flight deck is closed
>>
he whats with all this dust coming from the vents?
>>
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Am I the only one getting a boner reading all that stuff about the vents?
Thread posts: 253
Thread images: 41


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