LOL

If her suit can turn her into a fucking ball it can contort her body in other ways.

Not that most of her suits aren't horrendously designed. Only the Light Suit is good.

File: 298637222121570304sadasdasd.png (24KB, 101x128px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 101x128px

>>376970253
She's part BIRD and part METROID

Do you really think she'd ACTUALLY look like Zero Suit Samus under all that armor? HAHAHAHA. She likely wouldn't even register as human to most people at that point until the point where she'd start to talk.

File: 1465592212915.png (4MB, 2634x1791px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 2634x1791px

i dont see a problem

>>376971601
>average guy
>5"6
what

>>376971601
>average guy
>5'6"

Manlets, when will they learn.

>>376971128
It really is dumb design. No wonder most people think Samus is a robot

>>376971679
>3.66 MB

Fuck off.

>>376971601
We should have stuck to old Samus

>>376971901
who the fuck even look at the size of an image file lmao

>>376971901
>when your internet is so shit you have to complain about images that are too big
lol

>>376971679
Her arms are passing through a part that is part of the arm, rather than articulated. The articulation is on the huge pauldrons.

>>376971679
cunt punt for maximum effect

>>376971128
I agree specially when it comes to proportions and those retarded fucking pauldrons that would heavily restrict her mobility.

>>376971601
Was this drawn by a Japanese dude.

>>376972090
No her arms just blend straight into the elbow, articulation is at her shoulder like it should be.

>>376971901
how's life in siberia?

>>376970253
marfans syndrome

>>376972268
It's power armor so they probably don't affect her much, but they still look stupid. I don't care if they're supposed to contain counterweights or environmental shielding, it looks like ass. Default power suit is much better.

>>376972085
Its a virus

>>376971601
wasn't snake 5'10

File: samus.jpg (107KB, 1288x480px) Image search: [Google]

107KB, 1288x480px

>>376972347
Nah
that pic doesn't have the correct proportions (which don't fit a human anyway)

File: samus.jpg (251KB, 1849x1398px) Image search: [Google]

251KB, 1849x1398px

Not hard to make the suit anatomically correct, but the shoulders are still dumb, iconic or not.

File: Samus Suits.jpg (2MB, 2814x1017px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2814x1017px

>>376971128

You can only choose one.

well, actually samus aran is a fundamentally sexy character so i dont actually know what everyone is screaming about.

>>376971601
Average in japan? also, snake is not 6 foot.

Old samus is a beast ;O

>>376971601
Reminder that Samus is still 6'3.
It's just that everybody is a fucking freak height-wise so it means jack-squat.

>>376973062
hate to say it but other m with gravity suit aura

>>376972969
No duh, why do you think Sakamoto tried to get rid of them via the Fusion Suit?

>>376973305
It would be cool if in-universe they went with the scientific explanation that your height is affected by your homeworld's gravity and Samus has giantism, and would have been like 8 feet tall if she wasn't raised on Zebes's high gravity.

>>376973415
is this a masturbation joke

File: 1494442984663 (1).png (424KB, 405x2016px) Image search: [Google]

424KB, 405x2016px

LOL thread?
LMAO

>>376970253
Because I put WAY too much thought into justifying how it all works, I just figured the suit keeps parts of her body in a sort of pure-energy state. It explains how she can maintain her body-parts while getting gooked alive, or after plasma blasts or what-all else. The health orbs are just refills for the suit's systems to maintain her central state. Like, hands, feet, and head all are "normal" the rest is like a nebula of energy and what will be the matter that makes her up.

In the Marubaru ball it's just a brain and that energy miasma.

>>376973062
Phazon suit for that excellent looking spider ball or base PED suit. Though I think PED looks best after the first corruption.

>>376973561
The Fusion Suit is arguably a downgrade though, just like everything Sakamoto has done post-ZM.

>>376973062

#2 that exact Super Metroid art.

>>376973647

Where's the joke?

>>376971679
you actually can see the problem if you look at her armpit and the suits armpit

>>376973062
Light Suit, easy. Bullshit that you have it for an hour tops.

>>376971601
>6'3" 198 pounds

>>376973649
It's literally a shield system.

>>376972358
Where's The Boss?

>>376971601
>Average Guy
>5'6"
Gee, I wonder what the height of the artist is.

>>376973924
It is right over there.
The joke's your life.

>>376973719
Fusion Suit looks cool, though. Also, Other M establishing the PTSD precedent means that we can have Ridley again in post-Fusion games despite him being dead 5ever by having him be a hallucination.

>>376974050
I think it's canon that Samus weighs a literal ton even outside her armor..

>>376971601
>that look of concern on the average guys face

>>376971601
>5'6
>average
fucking manlets lol, soon they will claim 5'1 is average

File: metroidzm_01.jpg (37KB, 250x500px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 250x500px

>>376973062
I'm a simple guy, I like her less busy design while keeping the trademark look.

>>376973612
No, it's a word play joke.

>>376972969
Thats anatomically correct to you?
You fucking blind?

>>376974085
Except that it doesn't explain how she can get around in the same environments in just her Z-suit, I mean the shielding is one thing, (also when her P-suit "breaks" she is pure light for a moment, then dies or orgasms and dies.)

I like to think the suit actually shrinks her and she's piloting a giant (normal sized) robutt.

>>376974205
The default fusion suit is alright but all of its upgrades have hideous colors. The fully powered fusion suit makes her look like a slice of cheddar cheese.

And there's nothing good about how her PTSD was handled. If it happened during an early mission or a prequel then sure, it's our first in-game confirmation that he's a major part of her childhood. But after killing him like six times prior she should be mildly aggravated, not literally pissing her pants and regressing into an autistic little girl.

>>376974595
''boskeletonrp''

>>376971601
>Snake's thighs are as thicc as his calves

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

What do I win?

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376974595
boskeletonrp
:^)

>>376974553
That's definitely my favorite look. I never liked the shoulder balls

>>376974595
the word "boskeletonrp" without the quotes and the spoiler the word "skeleton" inside it.

boskeletonrp
I don't get it

>>376973062
Prime II Varia if we're talking base suits, Dark Suit otherwise.

>>376974595
bo"skeleton"rp

>>376974904
Autism

>>376974595
bo keleton rp

>>376972587
at this point this is the only thing that makes any sort of sense

>>376971601
I-I want to be princess carried by old Samus...
>5'57"

>>376974595
You son of a bitch
boskeletonrp

You have to put spoiler tags around the spoiler tags. Like so:
bo[s][s][/s]skeleton[s][/s][/s]rp
except with [ -spoiler- ] instead of [s]

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376975405
boskeletonrp

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376974595
borp

boskeletonrp

>>376973062
Brawl is pretty much the perfect varia suit.

>>376975652
needs a different hairstyle, her body doesn't fit with that chunky body

>>376975652
disgusting

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376971601
feels good being above average at 5'7"

>>376976162
5'8" masterrace here

how's the weather down there little guy?

>>376976162
M A N L E T
A
N
L
E
T

>>376973062
Super Gravity Suit my man

>>376972546
>3.66mb
>Look at the resolution
Why is someone even surprised?

>>376976272
>>376976162
lol manlets

>>376975652
I want her to crush my head between her thighs.

>>376975405
>bo[ -spoiler- ][s][/s]skeleton[ -spoiler- ][/s][/s]rp

what have I done?

File: 1430754611614.gif (1MB, 518x500px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 518x500px

>tfw 5'9"
>fiance is taller than me
kawaii desu

>>376971601
But Snake was 5'10" in MGS1/2
I know this because my ego was boosted significantly after reading it

>>376974348
2000 lbs spread over human feet? No, I don't think anyone has ever thought of Samus Aran has being 1 ton. Even inside her armor, 1 ton is too heavy.

Everyone who isn't a Japanese fetishist agrees Samus is 75 inches tall and weighs just about 200 lbs, the armor increases her height and weight because it's a powersuit.

If you ever felt like discussing theoretical body physics for Samus, though, it's how much Chozo DNA does she have and how much does that affect her physiology, ambulation, brain and feather pubes

>>376971601
Why does /v/ brag about height so much? Is it the only thing they have?

>>376971601
that guy isn't 5'6"

>>376970253
HE

File: 1467629868866.png (278KB, 500x356px) Image search: [Google]

278KB, 500x356px

>>376976520
>mfw there are only 2 images in existence of her with feather pubes

>>376976472
You have to replace all of the [s] and [/s]
with spoiler tags. You can get the spoiler tags by typing in [ -spoiler- ] [/ -spoiler- ] without the spaces and "-" (i.e. [sp.oiler] without the period)
or by highlighting the text and hitting ctrl +
s.

File: 1468554691633.png (2KB, 196x171px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 196x171px

>>376973647
>pushing the tumblr agenda on old cartoons
they know that single dads do exist and can raise a kid, right?

>>376976737
Not if the courts have anything to say about it.

>>376973305
Actually Samus is 5'1 on other M

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376970253
>>376970253

>girls with massive pelvis
my fucking dick

>>376973062
Fusion

>>376975652
I want to fuck/10

>>376971601
>A manlet drew this

File: The New Samus.png (176KB, 504x360px) Image search: [Google]

176KB, 504x360px

>Samus thread
>no one talks about the games
mmhmm

also, the whole "Samus is 5'3'' stuff is nothing but fan perpetuated shit

there's literally zero official statement about Samus changed height outside multiple comparisons of easily resizable models of Prime Trilogy and Other M Samus and Power Suit.

>>376974595
>No more meta threads
then stop shitposting

>>376976817
what if the mother dies?

>>376973062
PED Suit Master Race.

Or Light Suit.

>>376977101
TO THE GRANDPARENTS WITH IT.

File: 1473133501310.jpg (657KB, 1920x3240px) Image search: [Google]

657KB, 1920x3240px

>>376971679
All that needs to be don't is make the yellow mid section less wide, maybe add some gaps in it under her arms, they way she looks less like lanky kong. She should remain around 6'3 as well.
design fixed

rigid full-body armour doesn't work
samus and space marine armour is stupid as fuck

>>376971659
this desu

>>376971601
>average guy
>5'6"
hmmmmmm

>>376976686
I've only got one. Downy chick feather pube Samus is best Samus.

>>376976686
>>376976520
I still love /v/ sometimes

>>376977184
Okay that's actually pretty cool

>>376977027
>there's literally zero official statement about Samus changed height
Yeah no shit.

>>376977184
Damn that's a fucking NICE redesign

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376977326
I'm betting the one you're missing is the one featuring Rosalina.

>>376974595
dont do this is causes white-hot fragments of spoon to explode in your face

>>376977184
her shoulder looks like an upside down smiley face

>>376977184
I'd be okay with this, but I need the huge sphere shoulders.

File: 1455393968015.jpg (55KB, 500x420px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 500x420px

>>376977212
Samus armor is biomechanical just like the Chozo Torizo statues she fights, it's not completely rigid and relies on energy tanks.

>>376977184
>no heels
it's shit

File: sdfgh.jpg (3KB, 125x94px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 125x94px

>>376974904
>>376975120
>>376975185
>>376975204
>>376975432
>>376975678
>>376975724
>>376976116
>>376977394

>>376977184
Shoulders should be shifting plates or she still cant raise her arms, which would even work with a more ball-ish shoulder like before. As long as the plates rotate or shift inwards through some kind of mechanism it's fine.

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

what do i win

>>376977027
In Metroid: Other M, Samus is canonically depicted and described as being 5' 1". It's a return to continuity from a Nintendo Power magazine article that specifically described Samus as being 6' 3" tall The Japanese version equated her height to nearly 2 meters.

And everyone thinks the retcon is bullshit and ignores it.

>>376977516
>not completely rigid
Gonna need some hot citations there chief

boskeletonskeletonrp

File: 1370274269056.jpg (28KB, 491x404px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 491x404px

Her armour is fucking bird magic, it doesn't have to look like it physically works.

>>376974595
bo[Spoiler][Spoiler][/Spoiler]skeleton[Spoiler][/Spoiler][/Spoiler]rp

There, I ruined the fun for all you old fags

>>376977184
Looks generic as fuck without the ball circles.
Back to the drawing bord and try again.

>>376977443
You are correct!

File: 1463164796517.jpg (64KB, 332x346px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 332x346px

>>376977609
>Her biomechanical suit is literally infused with Metroid dna and becomes even more flexible in Metroid fusion
there is your citation

>>376977674
This also, stop trying to think in fucking hardsci
you hardsci fags ruin everything

Reminder that Samus is Irish

>>376977802
doesn't matter, she wouldn't have an accent being raised by ayys

>>376977802
Seamus Aran out of booze

>>376977753
Fusion suit? Sure. Solid ass normal power suit though? Nah.

>>376977061
are you kidding, its turned 14 percent of the thread into meaningless posts, its far more effective

File: torizo.jpg (24KB, 249x258px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 249x258px

>>376977923
im just saying that her suit is bio mechanical like the torizos
they bleed when you wound them and have organic muscles
chozo tech is basically magic compared to master chief's armor

>>376977607
Because it is bullshit. Other M is a shit game and should never be considered otherwise.

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376978115
Do you have sources for those claims though

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376971659
Very true

File: 1362194864229.png (135KB, 334x428px) Image search: [Google]

135KB, 334x428px

>>376977902
This fucking sucks but kek

>>376978242
The prologue to Fusion, as well as the briefing on SA-X, outright state that the suit is part bio-mechanical. That's how the X were able to infect and copy Samus at full power in the first place.

>>376973062
#4 is easily the best

>>376971601
>no taller than you athletic girl to hang out with and eventually date then marry

Why even live?

>>376974595
Boskeletonrp
Thread derailed huh

>>376978446
Now show me where it says that the power suit (not the fusion one) isn't entirely rigid

>>376978159
I don't disagree. She's always huge and it's fantastic that she is.

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376977503
>>376977702
Pretty sure it's the fusion suit but I could be wrong.

>>376975405
boskeletonrp

>>376978597
i saw you

>>376974595
bo skeleton rp

>>376975405
Can you explain why? Is skeleton just a word not allowed by spoilers normally?

Top just spoiler, bottom nested
Skeleton
Skeleton

>>376973062
PED Suit would be okay if it wasn't powered by Eldritch Space Cancer

>>376974595
bo[Spoiler][Spoiler][/Spoiler]skeleton[Spoiler][/Spoiler][/Spoiler]rp

File: lth.jpg (19KB, 464x464px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 464x464px

>>376977702
>>376977529

Just jumped in this thread, but jesus fuck. They talk about her suit plenty in the games starting with Prime and Fusion (both released on the same day in 2002, both mainly dealing with different suits)

http://metroid.wikia.com/wiki/Power_Suit#Description

>>376978684
Failing that, I'd pick Dark Suit. It makes Samus look like an Autobot

>>376978682
Is it borp maybe?

borp
boborprp
boborprp

>>376978597
I'm gonna take a screenshot and show all the world that your a pussy

>>376974595
bo[Spoiler]skeleton[/Spoiler]rp

i have autism

>>376974595
boske"skeleton"letonrp

>>376974595
bo[Spoiler][Spoiler][/Spoiler]skeleton[Spoiler][/Spoiler][/Spoiler]rp
there i did it :^)

>>376978776
oh i missed it, please do.

>>376970253

you may not like it but this is what peak performance looks like

bo[s]skeleton[/s]rp

>>376974595
let me check if I remember this right

boskeletonrp

bo [s] skeleton [/s] rp

File: 1491553706682.jpg (32KB, 676x299px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 676x299px

Why do Metroid threads get shitposted so bad?

>>376979013
>>376974595
oops

boskeletonrp

>>376975405
boskeletonrp

File: 1428001394207-2.jpg (43KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 640x480px

>Don't even play Metroid
>Wind up in one of these threads once in a while and stay for the whole thing because they're fucking hilarious

>>376979069
boskeletonrp

>>376979081
Metroid's fate is to get shit on, that's why.

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376979081
The franchise did with the last game

>>376973062
LIGHT
I
G
H
T

>>376975405
bo [Spoiler] [Spoiler] [/Spoiler] skeleton [Spoiler] [/Spoiler] [/Spoiler] rp

>>376979081
tall female protagonist gets manlets get frisky.

>>376979258
boskeletonrp

File: space pirate tubes.jpg (377KB, 1680x1050px) Image search: [Google]

377KB, 1680x1050px

>>376979081
Because there hasn't been a good game since Prime 3

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

boskeletonrp

boskeletonrp

bo(spoiler)(spoiler)skeleton(/spoiler)(/spoiler)rp

replace ( with [ or just use ctrl+s function

boskeletonrp

now please give (you)s

>>376977607
>In Metroid: Other M, Samus is canonically depicted and described as being 5' 1".
how about a source not shitty in-game models?

may as as well say Samus was a midget once because of Metroid 1 and Federation Force

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

bosamusborp

File: 1493786253005.png (4KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 225x225px

Aren't all video games technically intellectual property of Nintendo?

>>376979258
boskeletonrp

>>376979673
nah william higinbotham owns them

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376973062
light suit nigga

>>376974595
bo skeleton rp

>>376974595
put me in the screen cap

>>376979545
If you're still trying to argue with me about Samus Aran being average Japanese female height, both in text description and character model for the most recent canonical Metroid video game, Other M, then you clearly have never played it in any capacity. I'm not going to argue with you about it. I don't like it, either, but that is what Yoshio Sakamoto wrote. He feels it's "his" character and franchise and will do whatever he pleases with it.

File: 1234772133498.jpg (123KB, 400x300px) Image search: [Google]

123KB, 400x300px

>>376973062
Metroid II/Super Metroid style.

Still the fucking best.

Runner up is Fusion or Dark suit.

>>376980103
>He feels it's "his" character
lol he needs to deal with it

>>376973062
I really like the base PED suit. The plating and neutral colors really give a nice change to the standard varia suit.

>>376980103
>implying Nintendo will ever let the bumbling idiot near another Metroid after giving him the budget to make whatever Metroid game he wanted and watching him fuck it up

boskeletonrp

>>376972009
It's not only 3.6 MB but its in .png format which is a bitch to load even with high-speed internet. Fucking 1 min webms have smaller size than this.

File: image.jpg (30KB, 281x358px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 281x358px

>>376971679

>why is samus a nigger mulatto

boskeletonrp

>>376978579
Not him, but how about the part where she's able to fully roll up into a ball? Doesn't that count for something as far as the flexibility of the suit goes?

>>376974595
bo [skeleton] spoiler [/skeleton] rp

>>376973062
2 and 3 look the best because of the stockier look to it.

The rest just being a tad longer makes the shoulders seem unnatural.

>>376975405
boskeletonrp
does ctrl s work?

>>376980643
The Morph Ball using spatial compression. Flexibility has nothing to do with it. Just ask the Zebesians who tried to copy it.

>>376971601
>tfw 190cm & 77kg

>>376976506
Being tall isn't necessarily an asset when it comes to sneaking missions, and avoiding bullets.

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376980103
>still no source
>keeps dodging
give it up man.

>>376980564
You think because early 90s art drew her with somewhat thick lips ("voluptuous" being the ideal sexy look for women) makes her a mixed race aboriginal than you're a dumbass. Pronounced brow, strong jaw, lifted cheekes, recessed eyes, light hair, light eyes, small and pointed nose, flat and high forehead...she's hyper white, man.

File: NDC.png (416KB, 571x793px) Image search: [Google]

416KB, 571x793px

>>376975652

>>376974878
The final Fusion Suit is literally the Varia Suit.

>>376971601
>average 3rd grader

>>376979081
Other M irrevocably nuked the fanbase beyond redemption.

boskeletonrp

>>376979081
Other M mind broke the fanbase
Federation Force twisted the dildo in the wound

>>376974595
bok[[pspoiler[skelteont[/spoilerend]rp

>>376974595
bokslterinorp

File: sh.png (520KB, 853x480px) Image search: [Google]

520KB, 853x480px

>>376981625

>>376973647
wow, i was in fact expecting a joke, not even a trans joke, just a plain old dumb interrupting important thing joke
instead i got nothing

>>376974878
>hideous colors
I'll admit that the default blue suit is the best looking, but at least they didn't just reuse the same colors from her original power suit.

File: twink.png (36KB, 746x399px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 746x399px

>>376971601
>tfw 5'10 145
I feel fat

>>376979081
>high profile mainstream franchise popular with hardcore gamers and casuals alike, recognizable to the oldest '80s veteran and the freshest babby
>attractive female protagonist
>once consisted of smash hit after smash hit, but the last 2 or 3 games have seen a large decrease in quality
>Nintendo

>>376981734
You're probably skinnyfat

>>376974595
boskeletonrp

>>376981936
Probs. My bf is 6'3 and like 190 but is skinnytall, it's not fair

>>376974595
bo[s][s]skeleton[/s][/s]rp

>>376981734
where did you get that measure?

File: ??.gif (39KB, 209x190px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 209x190px

>>376981734
>6 feet tall
>140 pounds
>less than 1% body fat
>mfw

5'6 is average you fucking freaks.
Just because your a greasy lanky tard don't mean you're right. Try being normal you cucks

>>376981734
>tfw go from 200 pounds to under 180 and my gut doesn't look any smaller

File: e39fc6b468c4eadede8604e304bc2837_of-course-the-eternal-manlet-manlet-meme_1728-1328[1].jpg (221KB, 1728x1328px)

221KB, 1728x1328px

>>376982264
t. manlet

>>376982264
Location location location

66 inches tall is not "average" for latin-derivative peoples.

>>376982264
Maybe in nipland. Average male height in America is 5'9".

>>376979673
Explain your reasoning.

File: metal ass.png (31KB, 111x111px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 111x111px

>>376973062
hnng

(s)spoiler(/s)

File: Samus dimensions.png (3MB, 1080x939px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1080x939px

>>376977027

>>376982408
All the more reason for me to live out my dreams in grorious Nippon

[s]LOL[/s]

File: attraction by cliques.png (99KB, 756x781px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 756x781px

>>376982160
http://www.studiomoh.com/fun/census/results.php

how do i spoiler

>>376973062
Purple fusion suit with the bamham arm fins

>>376982783
I have no fucking idea

nigget fuckedger

>>376982729
thanks

>>376970253
But that's not the way her suit looks most of the time. Whoever drew that is being intentionally misleading.

>>376982680
B I R D M A G I C
I
R
D
M
A
G
I
C

File: stock-photo-angry-chihuahua-growling-years-old-in-front-of-white-background-53485081.jpg (122KB, 800x906px) Image search: [Google]

122KB, 800x906px

>>376982264

File: duWWu.jpg (82KB, 454x451px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 454x451px

>>376983003
>most of the time
but some of the time shes a hulking monster?

File: tumblr why do you have such serious daddy problems.jpg (68KB, 708x960px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 708x960px

>>376976737
NO FUCK YOU DADS ARE TERRIBLE AWFUL BEINGS REEEEEEEEEEE MEN SHOULDN'T RAISE CHILDREN THAT ARE BIOLOGICALLY THEIRS BECAUSE MY DAD DIDN'T

t. tumblrina

>>376983362
Morphball magitech but for shoulders?

>>376971601
When will they learn

>make samus the ultimate warrior
>give her a gimped power suit
did the chozo just pull shit for giggles

>>376984120
>his dick isn't 32 inches in length or 5 inches across
lmaoing @ you dicklets

File: 1356754466601.jpg (124KB, 1024x683px) Image search: [Google]

124KB, 1024x683px

>>376984272
>>376984120
>needing your own dick

>>376984120

The thing is, even though you and I both know this is bait, you're going to get so goddamn many people responding to this.

>>376984120
You do realize that the vagoo doesn't even go that deep right? 9 inches would induce pain like no tomorrow.
But with other races, it might go deeper.
Like asians, the vagoo only goes only 5 inches, white women go in with 7 inches, and africans go for almost 11 inches, when aroused by the way.
Who the fuck would want a 9 inch dick inside them for the sole purpose of pain?

>>376984272
>my dick is only 19 inches long
I'm basically female, right?

File: 01y.jpg (32KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 500x500px

>>376984429
(You)s are (You)s, anon.

>>376984272
im fucking dying anon thank you

>>376984543
To bait self-concious men

>>376982513
THICCCC

>>376984543
>Who the fuck would want a 9 inch dick inside them for the sole purpose of pain?
lmao, fucking dicklet

>>376971901
>Being a poorfag in 2017

>>376984543
9 inch penis here. I've slept with 11 women.
11 women have had their cervix slammed during sex with me.
11 women said sex with me usually hurts.
1 legitimately liked having full penetration. I was pretty shocked. She really did like the jolt. Masochistic, maybe, but I wasn't gonna complain.

No woman has ever had doggystyle with me twice. It hurts them, my dudes.

Not that I'd change my dick size. By the point they're in contact with my penis, I'm getting laid.

>>376984543
>His dick isn't big enough to lift the cervix

>>376984120
>somebody put this much effort into making a b8 image

File: dj-1471-11-bx-img-1.jpg (64KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 1000x1000px

>>376984870
pro tip to all guys with big dicks
just buy a cheap masturbator and cut it to size.
but it on and you'll be able to go to pound town without worrying that you're gonna hit her cervix hard

boskeleton

>>376984120
I'm "only" 8 inches and I can't even go balls deep half the time

also re-read your bait and either change it to better fit your post or vise-versa. Do you believe the average dick size is 7.5" or do you believe 7.5" is average on the pleasure scale?

>>376974050
That's pretty close to right. I dated a girl that was 6 foot and she was pretty thin and she weighed 150 easily and extra 3 lbs with some muscle could be an easy 30 lbs.

>>376985087
7.25 inches here. I fucking backwall every chick I've ever been with. Sucks, because I can't just go nuts.

>>376985117
it's 7.5" when you don't count people with small penises (anything below 6")

I'm 9" myself and people who are only 6.5" are bizarrely small.

>>376976501
>tfw 5'8"
>99/100 girls are still shorter than me
feels good
no it doesnt but i have to look for the silver lining

>>376977802
And her name means "woman who destroys/supplants islands" Blowing up planets has always been her fate.

>>376973647
I'd suck his cute knotted girldick

>>376984120
I just don't get people that post this.

Obviously you aren't a woman or have a big dick.

>>376985196
*cough
>>376985027

>>376985329
Nah. It's more to make virgins feel inadequate. When you see shit like
>>376985196
>>376985117
It becomes obvious.

>>376985027
I'm surprised no one sells something like this, this has to be a thing. I don't get laid enough to try and rig some toy up to fix it though

>>376985329
>I just don't get people that post this.
>Obviously you aren't a woman or have a big dick.
I'm 9 inches m8, I post these because it's hilarious.

File: 1460692440368.png (98KB, 475x325px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 475x325px

>>376982729
what do these terms even mean? it says im a chub (which i guess i understand cause fat) but still what

>>376985454
Prove it then faggot with a time stamp. With drawn in tits with the time stamp.

>>376985386
That post makes no sense. Put it on like a condom? Do you have any idea how much lube would be required? I have to lube like a mad cunt just to get it to fit most girls, and then I still have to sit still while her body adjusts. Nothing like having a rock hard boner inside a chick, only to have to wait for 5-10 minutes for it to fit. Something like that would add another 2-4" to my girth.

>>376985329
guaranteed replies

>>376985494
please do not use my OC while replying to posts of that nature

>>376982680
see >>376979545

can Metroidfags read?

File: 1489544971750.jpg (73KB, 1244x712px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 1244x712px

>>376971601
>average guy 5'6"
You gotta be shitting me

File: Bolt_nut.jpg (43KB, 350x250px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 350x250px

>>376985549
are you dumb? you use it to prevent your dick from going deeper as a stopper. sorta like a threaded nut on a bolt

File: no way.jpg (303KB, 1000x530px) Image search: [Google]

303KB, 1000x530px

>>376980852
Sure, but it was nice to see a hero my height
>>376984120
I have no idea why you replied to me, but I never said 5'6" was too short- it is below the world average of 5'9" though

>>376985759
I must be, because I have no fucking idea how that would slow me down.

File: 1494127522440.png (138KB, 500x379px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 500x379px

>>376985593
Fuck You

File: 1489592745122.png (233KB, 568x590px) Image search: [Google]

233KB, 568x590px

>>376984870
You you pity fuck a guy that looks like a girl but isn't a tranny fuck?

>>376985087
You are a dumbass if you can't understand why those infographics were made.

>>376984870
7 incher here, also 6+ girth. First partner was a slut and it fit immediately, but it was still pretty difficult going at first. Had discomfort a few times and pain once.

Second partner had physical pain and discomfort just by me putting it in. I couldn't get it past halfway in until after we had sex a couple times, and if we went more than 2 days without having sex, it'd be uncomfortable and sometimes painful for her. Lots of foreplay was always necessary, lube was too a few times.

>>376985436
its already a thing

>>376985882
Nah fuck you Jianhead
get outta that, uh, weeaboo armor

File: this triggers the primefag.gif (4MB, 544x675px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 544x675px

>>376982680
>>376977607

File: 143396584302.jpg (175KB, 567x952px) Image search: [Google]

175KB, 567x952px

well /v/?
are you big enough?

File: spessmahreen.png (531KB, 1017x593px) Image search: [Google]

531KB, 1017x593px

>>376970253

>>376983841
Yeah that post bugs me because if they were on layaway it means the parents were trying to get something nice for their kid

>>376970253
>those arms
SHE

File: australian player on na server.webm (951KB, 484x314px) Image search: [Google]

951KB, 484x314px

>>376971901

>>376976675
HAS

>>376985436
It sounds like a foam ring.
Sliding a 3 inch foam ring over my dick before going to pound town isn't exactly erotic and stupid. In the end, if I'm trying to get the girl to climax, her vibrator or my fingers are gonna do better than my long schlong. I'm not so insecure that I cannot recognize technology designed to make women orgasm is really effective at making women orgasm. I'm not gonna put a bracelet on my cock.

>>376986053
6' here, I have to say your chart is incredibly inaccurate

>>376984120
Because a 9 inche dick is fucking subhuman, and isn't the same as hight

File: BoI_Emoji_nohand.jpg (136KB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]

136KB, 700x700px

>>376971601
tfw no snake bf

>>376986227
>dicklet thinks penis chart is inaccurate
hmm, I wonder why a guy with a micropenis would think that?

File: Screenshot_4.png (92KB, 191x276px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 191x276px

>>376977184

>>376977497
Its a pirate head used as decoration

File: 1459415977408-b.jpg (138KB, 515x417px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 515x417px

>>376986139
kek

>>376985834
He seems to think that transferring your bodyweight powerslams from their cervix to a circle on their labia (and possibly clit) will be that much more tolerable. He also seems to think bodyweight powerslams is the only form of penile penetratative sex.

File: 1459908274866.png (23KB, 507x584px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 507x584px

>>376986001
okay, yeah no problem jian
yeah
fed-ass

>>376973062
I actually really like Smash 4's more realistic Other M suit. Otherwise, I'd pick SM Gravity suit or the default Fusion suit.

>>376986296
Excuse you, I had just stated I was 72 inches, however that's when soft.
I'm not entirely sure if you're projecting here or not.

File: 1483426293595.png (26KB, 665x699px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 665x699px

>>376985494
Somewhere like a bear, if I had to guess?

placed at "cub" level, which I can only guess is a young bear

>>376986053
i'm a gay sub so it'd probably be better for it to be smaller

also shouldn't the "masochist zone" be the "sadist zone"?

>>376986397
Ah. Pretty sure that shit wouldn't stay there for long. Even if it did, she would just wind up with a bruised clit.

>>376985087
>trusting women

File: 1459004873493.webm (2MB, 1856x764px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1856x764px

>>376971901
>>376986139
>>376986394

>>376986561
>being a dicklet

What a bunch of autistic /v/irgins.

>>376978579
Anon, we are shown in the prologue of fusion that the X are were assimilating the biological parts of teh suit, its one of the reasons it didn't simply assimilate Samus like everything else, they had to cut the external metal parts, the suit she uses is what is underneath her normal suit

>>376985959
Yeah. We big dudes get pretty good at the foreplay.

>>376986047
What's supposed to be triggered? I don't think anyone disagrees that Samus is smaller than her powersuit.

The agreement is, outside her suit she's 6' 3". Her suit it well over 7 feet tall.

File: 1494543495441.png (55KB, 517x476px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 517x476px

>>376971601
>tfw you will never ever be Big Boss, Solid Snake, or Venom Snake, or even in the very least, Liquid Snake

>>376986073
meh space marines aren't normal humans
that and they're arms and legs and cybernetic I think

>>376972348
The internet is pretty fucking good in Russia, you stupid americuck.
t. russian

>>376986053
>PUBIC BONE
Oh fuck off. No one measures "BONE PRESSED" you faggot.

In which case, I'm mother fucking 11 inches long. Stupid.

>>376986621
It's probably why that thing about bigger guys being more satisfying is so pervasive. It's not that they like the huge dick, its that we have to spend 20+ minutes getting them turned on before we can can even start.

>>376986805
well, what is your actual size m8 measured on top.

>>376986213
I mean, I thought the point was so you could thrust as hard as you want, and the thing would keep you from hurting her while you (kinda) get to feel like you're going balls deep

of course something like a sybian is going to rack up O's a lot faster than any human dick but the point here is to avoid hurting cervix

>>376978579
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R675cJCjp7c

>>376986553
Precisely. It'd be personally annoying and I don't think any woman would be okay with some foam toy bumping around when all she really wants to do is ride.

File: 1460237539915.jpg (10KB, 208x242px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 208x242px

>>376986925
>limey british cunt voiceover

>>376987040
>>376986553
>bruised clit
don't knock it til you tried it
if people are gonna complain about hitting the cervix, then at least give this a try

I legit want Ridley on the Smash roster.