Look out /v/ It's a mother fuckin' Space Station 13 thread.

Honk.

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>>376946502
How do I become autistic enough to learn how to play this game?

>>376947250
Just follow the guide on the wiki.

https://tgstation13.org/wiki/Starter_guide

Assistant is the best job ever and anyone who disagrees is a pussy whipped wage cuck.

>>376948104
> Not playing the mime this station needs, but no the one it deserves.

What's the best server for a classic ss13 experience?

No metafriends, no bloated content

>>376948172
Mime pretty much only exists to be an asshole, what's even the purpose of a non-antag mime?

>>376946502
i cant decide which is worse

tg or vg

If i put the nuke disk INSIDE the clown does it count as "destroying" it during Nuke Ops?

Are games like this always doomed to relative obscurity and netcode that's held together with wet tissue paper?

>>376946817
squeak squeak

>>376948721
/tg/ is amazingly worse than /vg/

>Not playing antag atmos tech and flooding the station with plasma after switching off the sensors.

>>376948620
Vigilante justice

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>Shift Starts, Paradise Station
>Be Clown, of course
>Being a Clown Changeling, cool
>Objectives are as follows:

Absorb 2 Compatible Genomes
Steal Research Director’s Jumpsuit
Assassinate the Research Director, Bulma Briefs
Evacuate the station alive and free
>Acquire Insulated Gloves and toolbelt full of tools for hacking door
>Construct a make-shift stunprod and IED from a soda can
>Fuck around for 20 minutes watching people do things and muck about
>Run into Bulma Briefs, I wave at her, she tells me to “Fuck off”
>We’ll see about that…
>The AI of the station is a hard-ass; locks down areas when crime happens
>Start cutting the AI Control wires to doors and cameras, ain’t gonna watch me do illicit stuff
>Roboticist is going crazy, gets brigged for building another AI
>Roboticist gets fired for being unruly
>New Roboticist shows up and he just wandering and not doing his job
>Stun him and drag him into a dark corridor
>Rip out the headset from his ear and start strangling him to death
>He chokes out, “P-please don’t kill me!”
>I whisper, “Sorry, I have to…”
>His last words are “Awww..”
>Stab with proboscis, eat his liquids - tasty!
>Use IED and his body is dust
>Run from crime scene and come across Security Guard stuck inside engineering
>Tell him, “You never saw this!”
>Hack door and he thanks me, they think I’m friendly…
>Hack the door to the morgue, find a delicious dead body
>Vomit from the smell, whatever
>Eat the corpse’s liquids - yummy!
>Sneak into Toxins Mixing room
>No Scientist is working there, it’s abandoned and forgotten
>Begin creating a bomb
>Bomb constructed
>AI says shit’s going down in Toxins Mixing, they can hear me!
>Scurry back into maintenance shaft and wait in the shadows
>Bulma Briefs, the Captain’s Bodyguard and a slime man show up to fix the cameras in toxins
>Bulma finds me in the shadows, I shout “BOO!”
>Bulma says, “HOW SPOOKY!” and goes into Toxins, disregarding me
>Set bomb for :06 seconds
-Cont

>>376949692
>Run up and throw bomb into toxins
>Put on sun-glasses while an explosion erupts behind me
>Bulma and crew are now squishy gibs
>AI: “ARREST CLOWN”
>Me: “How about fuck you, AI”
>A chase ensues between AI and myself
>AI is a TeleScience wizard
>Cut many cameras to hide position
>He still finds me and teleports me back into the station
>Have a shoot out with security
>Too bad I looted the Captain’s room, I have his laser gun
>AI floods the room with plasma gas, ignites it, I’m on flame
>Bitch, I’m a changeling, regenerate
>AI is on to me and teleports me into space
>I drift endlessly in space
>Wait
>What’s that?
>Land on abandoned Derelict Station
>My hard suit is punctured
>The pressure in space is killing me
>Takes 15 minutes but, I crawl into the station
>I talk into my headset, “Scootaloo, LIVES!”
>No one hears me
>They evacuate the station

¾ Objectives complete

GG, AI

>Play Changeling on /tg/station
>After spectacular hijinks, get arrested and dragged off to Gulag by the Warden
>Fuck no
>Grow armblade and start fighting
>Gets thrown into lava
>Revive myself repeatedly until I make my way back inside
>Warden burned to death on the floor
>Eat him and go home

>>376948754
No, it has a comfy playerbase. What dooms it is the autistic admins.

>>376947250
It's a pretty simple game. The only thing that's complex is learning the recipes and you can just have a wiki page up for that.

>Be mining out on the roid
>Here a dirty space bird say over ; that he is taking one of the crew hostage
>Says he is on the vox outpost on the roid
>Itsmytimetoshine.jpeg
>Manage to bust down the glass walls with my heavily damaged RIPLEY
>The Vox has a qt3.14 cuffed and immobile
>Pop out of the mech with my fully erect alien artifact
>Beat the shit out of the bird scum until he is bloody and unconscious
>Take off his mask and nitrogen and save the crew member
>Say nothing and go back to get my mech repaired
Will always remember it.
>

>>376951631
I've been playing for years, and I still keep a wiki page open to look up unusual things.

>Played back when Goon had their EU#5 server called 'Dave Server' a donkey's age ago.
>Eventually migrated towards BS12 and Polaris
>Got boring real fast. 'Muh space opera' and 'muh milRP' became the most trite bullshit.
>Don't like the new Goon iterations. They don't even have POO any more.

Which server should I migrate to now, lads? I miss the old wacky antics.

>miner
>go mining
>bring science materials
>ask for a gun
>get a gun
>birds are raiding the place
>I have a gun
>go to shoot the birds
>get shot instead
>kidnapped and tied up naked
>almost die because they didn't give me oxygen
>eventually one bird gives me oxygen
>we both speak tradeband
>he says they're scared and want to cooperate
>agree to help while berating him for being a bird in my native tongue
>suddenly people
>loads of people
>they teleported onto the bird ship
>all the birds died
>it was a good day

Another story
>clown
>there's a trial going on
>it is the clowns sacred duty to interrupt trials
>rush to cargo
>order five monkey crates
>the madmen actually give the clown monkey crates
>run into maint
>start unwrapping monkey cubes and shove them in a locker
>close the locker and run to the courtroom
>the defense is talking about a lack of evidence
>announce that I have DECISIVE EVIDENCE and ask to be let in
>they actually let the clown into the trial
>MY EVIDENCE IS...
>MONKIES
>spray the locker with my water flower
>the locker opens and all the monkey cubes turn into monkies
>the courtroom is now flooded with monkies
>the captain immediately extends his baton and starts beating me to death as I honk
>all involved parties stop the trial and start killing monkies
>the trial is now officially ruined as I pray to the honkmother with my last breath

Come on, /v/. If there's one game you like, it's SS13. Post more stories.

Has there ever been a game ruined by its administrative staff in the way SS13 is?

>>376955837
I don't even know what this game is but I've been hearing about it all over recently.

Seems like a lot to take in at first and I'm wondering how I would even go about playing a round without fucking everything up and/or getting banned.

>>376955954
Garry's Mod servers

>>376956220
Most of the servers you join will have their own bespoke wiki. The hardest part to learn is the interface and interactions in general. There's a lack of quality-of-life features, but the antics you get out of it are well worth the effort.

>>376956220
Play Assistant. Clicking on people with an item in your hand will attack them. Don't do that. Otherwise, read the wiki. Read it again, then hop in and try to stay alive. Read the rules too, and follow whatever RP guidelines the server has.

>>376949820
edgy horsefucker/10

>>376956220
>I'm wondering how I would even go about playing a round without fucking everything up
Pick a low-key job like Botanist or Cook.
No one expects anything useful from Botany most of the time.
Cook is a little more involved, and people generally like there being fresh food for them eat.
But the station isn't going to fall apart because you're still learning the controls and most of the time you can be an Assistant and watch the chef do his job.

Read the wikis. Depending on the server you may need to unbuckle yourself from your seat if you come in on the arrival shuttle.

>and/or getting banned.
Despite how many claims of shitmins you see in these threads, it's really hard to get banned.
Especially for new players.
Admins can see your history on the server in the form of notes they leave for diffferent players and if you have a clean slate you'll usually be given leniency if you seriously fuck something up.

>>376956518
>>376956549
>>376956958
Well I'll read up and see what happens, thanks.

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Here's a ~rare~ SS13 image

>want to just play sec
>have to play other shit jobs until robust enough

fug

>>376958383
You can be robust in other ways, anon. Instead of being amazing at clicking on dudes, why not carry a bucket of water in your backpack.
Someone chases you? Whip it out and splash it on the floor behind you. They're downed, and you can employ your toolbox on 'em.

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This thread

>>376958383
Sec is literally just an antag loot piñata. Unless you're playing on a server that doesn't allow random fucks to dunk antags (and you shouldn't), you could just play any other job and just use the tools you get from that to fuck up shit.

Is librarian fun?

>>376962347
Read porn over the radio